YSaC, Vol. 609: Saul Bass, this ain’t.

2010 March 18

Oh, look, it’s … today. That means it’s time for another installment of “Bad Titles”.

*cheers from the crowd*

minnie poddle

This minnie poddle is great with kids and loves car rides. He also comes with a “50 re homing free”.

Not looking for a pet today? Looking for a job? Okay, how about this:

Living Caretaker Needed

You’re living, right? Then you’ve got one of the qualifications required already!

central heat and nair unit’s

Wow, that’s some powerful heat! It crisped my leg hair right off!

HEY NON EMU MUSICIANS

The ostrimu is very upset by this one. When will this persecution of ratites end? We demand social justice for musically inclined flightless birds!

Thanks for the submissions, Natasha, Brendan, justmommy, and Leslie!

120 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 March 18
    Meredith permalink

    http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/250/draft_lens1545704module56617612photo_1252604521micky_mouse_dog_costume.jpg

    Couldn’t find a Minnie Poodle, but found a Mickey Pug!!!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 18
      TacoMagic permalink

      That’s a rather massive link you have there Meredith.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 18
        Lola permalink

        Jealous? 😉

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          I considered whipping out my massive link for comparison, but I think that would be breaking severeal internet decency laws.

          If indeed the internet HAD decency laws.

          Adores: 12
      • 2010 March 18
        sarajean80 permalink

        Sounds like Taco’s got link envy.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          Meredith permalink

          S’okay, I get that a lot from the boys. They just can’t believe mine’s bigger than theirs.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          It’s not the size of the link that matters, it’s the speed of the page load!

          *Sniff*

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 March 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          That’s right, sugar, you just keep telling yourself that.

          I’m sure it happens to a lot of guys.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 March 18
          mudslicker permalink

          It’s not the size of the link that matters, but whether it yanks my chain. *wink*

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 18
        Beardo permalink

        It’s not the size that matters, it’s where it links to.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 18
      TacoMagic permalink

      Here’s a link to my massive link:

      http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3858#comment-21866

      If only mine didn’t have that pesky line break in the middle. It was the result of a parsing accident when I was a child.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 March 18

        You see, Taco got his link caught in a rice-picking machine when he was a child…

        Adores: 6
    • 2010 March 18
      Meej permalink

      On my screen, Meredith’s fairly-massive link overlaps the sidebar on the right at *just* the right place for the t-shirt block to read “Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun’s costume.jpg? Of course you do!”

      And, really, of course I do! A Llama-nun costume (.jpg or not) would be amusing.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 18
        Meej permalink

        Well, it worked until the Don’t Suck box changed, anyway.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          Right now I’m getting:

          Adds by Googleize_dog_costume.jpg

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 18

      You know, guys, there is a way to clothe your links in regular text so that the massive ones don’t break the style-sheet. (The trick does not only work for links to my blog…)

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 18
        mudslicker permalink

        Give us the html tag sequence then pretty please. I’ve tried that before on another website and I kept getting an error message even though I kept re-checking how I set up the tag. So I never bothered to try it again and just got lazy.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18

          It’s easy.

          open angle brackets a href=”your link hereclose angle brackets THEN TYPE YOUR TEXT THAT DIRECTS TO THE LINK open angle brackets forward-slash a close angle brackets

          I think that’s pretty standard blog xhtml.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          mudslicker permalink

          Thanks Isaac. I’m almost positive that was what I was doing but couldn’t figure why it wasn’t working; either it was stuck on stupid or I was.

          It wasn’t on this blog btw, but I just ended up giving up after that—because that was 20 minutes of my life I knew I was never going to get back.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          It is. But if we actually used those (as I have on occassion) we wouldn’t be able to flash our massive links around.

          Also, if you want to show an angle brackes it’s < and >.

          So the code looks like:
          <A href=’htmlcode’> “Text you wish to appear as link” </A>

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          “Also, if you want to show an angle brackes it’s < and >”

          Is that ASCII, or are you just happy to see me?

          Adores: 0
  2. 2010 March 18
    Windrose permalink

    A pet, a job, a place to live, and uh, something else! Craigslist has it all. If only there were somewhere to find a person’s soul mate. . .

    Adores: 2
  3. 2010 March 18

    I remember Minnie Poddle from Hee-Haw. She was a lot of fun.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 18
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      I had a minnie poddle once, but my ShamWow! cleaned it right up.

      Adores: 20
  4. 2010 March 18

    Serendipity! We should get the flamingo guitarist together with the non-emu musicians!

    I wonder if it’s just flightless birds, though. I mean, could say a condor apply?

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 March 18
      Lola permalink

      Probably, but I bet vultures are limited to band management, recording deals, and security.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 March 18
      TacoMagic permalink

      Well, if they need more musicians, they could hire the remaining members of Penguin Supply.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 18
      sarajean80 permalink

      I don’t think Flock of Seagulls is doing much these days.

      Maybe hanging around the landfill and regretting certain hairstyle choices.

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 March 18
        TacoMagic permalink

        Well… my post ended up in very special place due to those damn computer gremlins again. I’m going to try to relocate it to it’s correct location.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Remember, those hairstyle choices got them mentioned in “Pulp Fiction.”

          Take that Kajagoogoo!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18

          Yesterdays was St. Patty’s so they’re probably very hungover.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 18

      You aren’t trying to imply that flamingos are flightless, are you?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 18
        mudslicker permalink

        [corey] flap flap poop [/corey]

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 March 18

          You see how suavely I embedded that link?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          mudslicker permalink

          You are a suave link embedder. I’ll call you Friar Suave from now on.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Always dicey to correct the good friar, but did you perhaps mean “embedded that link”? It just seems, well, dirtier that way…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18

          Post to post, pedant to da Corey, tonsured male.
          Across the comments, fixing the grammar, links for sale…

          Suave link embedder…
          Suave … link embedder…

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 March 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          *giggles*
          Mudsy likes the way Isaac embeds his link.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18

          Sarajean! You’re going to teach me bad things.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18

          you already know bad things HHNF, lots of them according to Graham *chuckle*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18

          You’re never too old to learn.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18
          Windrose permalink

          And now it’s time for an embed time story. 8)

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 18
        jackie31337 permalink

        Just don’t try to “embed” too many links in the same comment, or you’ll get “held for moderation”. (I feel like I should be on the blog of unnecessary quotation marks.)

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18

          It’s true, Jackie. I did that once, and drmk “moderated” me for what seemed like hours!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18

          oooh, was it painful?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18
          Lola permalink

          Some people like it when it’s painful … 8)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18

          It figures that the combination of a llama and a nun would have a hell of a lot of stamina.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          Don’t let the Ostrimu find out!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18

          Oh, he knows.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 March 19
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Spock quote, drmk?

          Adores: 1
  5. 2010 March 18
    jackie31337 permalink

    Oh, that’s harsh! Some of the best musicians I know are emus.

    Adores: 3
  6. 2010 March 18

    Let’s see, one minnie poddle plus one $50 re-homing free = 42 pancake sammiches…unless my CatMath calculator is broken again.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 18
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      That’s the thing about Cat Math calculators. There’s no way to know when they’re broken…

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 18
        CapnMac permalink

        Sure there is, you get uniform results in base(poddle) instead of base(cat).

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          You try to put my cat in a uniform and the only result you’ll get is your face scratched off.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 March 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          And you can’t get a good base on them without cloroform and lots of super glue.

          Adores: 3
  7. 2010 March 18
    TacoMagic permalink

    Looks like we’ve got the start of a “Battle of the Bands.”

    Minnie Poodle
    Living Caretakers
    Nair Unit
    Non-Emu Band

    Tough competition this year. The winner will be chosen by last year’s winner: Baiec Nail.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 18
      Lola permalink

      Minnie Poodle = J-Pop (or possibly K-Pop)
      Living Caretakers = Goth
      Nair Unit = ’80s-style heavy metal
      Non-Emu Band = avian separatist hardcore

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 March 18
        Lola permalink

        Correction: Living Caretakers might be emo. I mean, you want your caretakers to be (in addition to living) sensitive, don’t you?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          Would make a nice change from all those damn zombie caretakers you see. I guess it pays to be more specific.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          mudslicker permalink

          And here I was really hoping that Living Caretakers were a Polka band.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, yes, as clearly, the zombie caretakers are only interested in BRaaiiiiiinsssss

          Dang, and SJB beat me to it again.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          jackie31337 permalink

          I don’t know, Living Caretakers kind of has the ring of an 80s new wave band to me.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 18

        I hear “Nair Unit” more as a post-New-Wave electro-art-pop heavily ironic studio band, sort of like Art of Noise updating Frank Zappa. But maybe that’s just me.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 18
          Lola permalink

          I would totally listen to that.

          At least once.

          Adores: 2
  8. 2010 March 18
    sarajean80 permalink

    I have a minnie poddle for sale!!!!!you can take it for 50 re homing free!!!!!

    Adores: 6
  9. 2010 March 18

    Minnie Poddle and The Living Caretakers sounds like the follow up to the Harry Potter series. It takes place 100 years after the original story and Harry’s gang of aging wizards is wreaking havoc on St. Mungo’s senior living unit. It’s up to Minnie, the newest healer intern, to keep the dementia-addled Potter in check.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 March 18

      Night of the Living Caretakers!

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 March 18
      CapnMac permalink

      Egads, wizards with dementia?

      Random patronus; creatures transmogrified; random teleportations and flying household appliances?

      Beggars imagination, almost.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 18
      sarajean80 permalink

      Harry Potter and the Living Caretaker, the Twilight Years.
      Nah, they’d have to move to the Pacific Northwest and start hanging out with the moody, sparkly undead. That would would never be popular.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 March 18

        *pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease*

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 18
        TacoMagic permalink

        Harry Potter and the Living Caretaker, the Twilight Years

        Excerpt:

        Bella looked across the table, longing yet pensively anxious in the feelings that, while confusing and contradictory, were strong nonetheless. Her heart skipped several beats, starting a cascade of rhythm that lead to a small, heart style percussion solo in her chest. She licked her lips and tasted the strawberry lip gloss she had applied only moments before; it was the kind with the flavored glitter in it. Though she didn’t know how they made the glitter so flavorful, she liked it anyway. She leaned across the table towards the dark haired youth sitting across from her and uttered, “Harry, I think I love you. You’re the coolest vampire at the school now.”

        “I’m not a freaking vampire, how many times do I have to tell you idiots that? I may be moody, self-effacing in my relationships with others, and wracked with simultaneous feelings of entitlement and despair, but I DO NOT SPARKLE!”

        “Oh,” Bella said, losing interest, “And I thought you were cool.”

        Adores: 33
        • 2010 March 18

          Just win.
          I do recall a comment about Stephenie Meyers’ editor the other day.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          That first sentence was one of the most painful things I’ve written in recent history.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18

          Dealing with Twilight is a horrible sentence anyways.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18

          TM, you are my hero of the posts so far today. That was awesome and rather scary in it’s accuracy, from what little of Twilight I’ve been forcibly subjected to.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          Ugh. It was painful to read, TM

          And how is it you know so much about strawberry glitter lip gloss?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 18

          He found out alot about strawberry lip gloss during his Hannah Montana phase.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 March 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          That must be what they talk about over on the Hannah Montana forums, comparing and contrasting the flavors of different glitter glosses.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          Speaking of being self-effacing in the relationships I have with others… 🙂

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          “Dealing with Twilight is a horrible sentence anyways.”

          A lot of terrible sentences, formed into script pages, “acted” by robots.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          @ Taco- “a small, heart style percussion solo in her chest. ”

          Was it a “flamingo” percussion solo?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          Well it certainly wasn’t emu.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 18
          CapnMac permalink

          “acted” by robots.
          Robots would have emoted better.

          CNC machinery has more joi d’vivre

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 18

      Muggles aren’t supposed to know that dementia is a side-effect of too many Obliviates.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 18
        TacoMagic permalink

        I’ve always wondered if the Moogles are in on the conspiracy. They’re so cute… yet, there’s that little hint of malice in their “kupo”ing.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          CapnMac permalink

          The Moogles are in town?
          Think we can get Demented Wizards to open?

          Adores: 1
  10. 2010 March 18
    IrishFish permalink

    I wonder if cat math could help me calculate the amount of time or number of posts it takes before the comments stray so far off topic that I have to scroll back up to the original post to see what it was about.

    I love it. Makes me giggle every day 🙂

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 March 18

      It’s usually less than three comments. <3.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 18
        TacoMagic permalink

        Sometimes it’s less than that…

        BANANA PEEL! Wheeeeeeeee!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18

          orange meringue!!!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          boiled peanuts!

          Wait, what?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 18

          minty shells!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          I like pudding!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 18
          TacoMagic permalink

          *Hits Bianchi with a foam tuna*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18

          Bring that over here, Taco. I think my foam is out of tune.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          Lola permalink

          “Why a duck? Why not a chicken?”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 18
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Get a room, racist!

          *Double meme score*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 18
          Lola permalink

          “Double Meme Score” – just possibly should be the YSAC house band.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 18
          Windrose permalink

          What do you get if you cross a llamanun with an ostrimu?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 19

          A Llamimu?

          A nostrum?

          A lost numen?

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 18
      sarajean80 permalink

      Thanks to Meredith’s massive link it was less than one today. Might be a record for us.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 18
        Meredith permalink

        What can I say? Whether it be my massive link or my ginormous sweater hams, I tend to distract from the subject at hand.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 March 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          But you are distracting in a good way ♥

          I think Ginormous Sweater Hams should join today’s line-up. I’d say they sound like Indie Rock.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 19

          I know I find them you distracting…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 19
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Her eyes are up there, Isaac.

          Adores: 4
  11. 2010 March 18

    so … what *was* the original subject again? I finally waded my way back from all the other ginormous linkage journeys and now I’m soooo confuzzled.
    Amused as Hell and still chuckling, but still confuzzled.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 18

      I think the original poster had attached a flamingo lurning tool to the back of his SUV and taken a picture of it, then labeled it erroneously as a lion and offered to sell it for free OBO.

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 March 19

        1000+elebenty hunnert!! OMG…to tears, Isaac, to tears…*catching breath*…thanks, man..

        Adores: 1
  12. 2010 March 18

    oh, before I disappear again I thought I should say, I’m away this weekend visiting some friends that I haven’t seen in over a year.

    I’ll be back on tuesday though, honest.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 18
      Lola permalink

      We’ll be up to no good, until then. You know where to find us!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 18

        I’ll do my best *chuckle* I might drop in over the weekend as hubby will almost certainly take his laptop. Only problem is I have to prise it out of his hands first, and if he’s deep in facebook that wont be easy.

        Adores: 1
  13. 2010 March 18
    Windrose permalink

    In the long-ago mists of YSaC, a certain gentleperson could be found in the Don’t Suck box two and three times a week.* He was the benchmark we all tried to reach, and usually failed. Then came a time when his light did not shine as brightly, his comments were seen less often, and we began to wonder if the glory would grace our lives again. Today, it has come to pass that I have lots more time to waste than usual, on a Thursday night. And so lost_compass, welcome back to the Don’t Suck box! Come get punched, and sing a few rounds of (place name of melancholy old standard here) with the gang!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 19
      lost_compass permalink

      Thanks, Windrose. Seriously, “punchety-punch” would have been enough.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 19
        Windrose permalink

        Maybe. I even forgot to complete my * footnote that This may not be true. 8/ But really, come by more often! 8)

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 19

          There have been many worthy lost_compass submissions. I just try to mix things up a bit sometimes.

          Adores: 1
  14. 2010 December 3

    senior living can be costly if you have not found a very good company or that offers a great deal ;.-

    Adores: 0

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