YSaC, Vol. 627: He forgot Free My Willy.
Warning: today’s ads acknowledge the existence of sex, pornography, and fetishes. Carry on, then.
in styler – $75
xxx xxx xxxx
Overall, this is fine. Until you see the pictures, that is.
I’m wondering if this person has thought of some alternative use for the “Amazing Heated-Rotating Styling Tool” that’s better off left to someone else’s imagination. (Like HellHathNoFury’s, for example.) Either that, or she’s very disappointed by the styling she was able to achieve with the last picture’s products. I can’t say I blame her — the pink curling iron in the last picture wouldn’t create decent curls no matter how much “Silky Sheets Bed and Body Spray with Pheromones in Pear Blossom” you use in your hair.
What? What are you all looking at me like that for?
The next three ads are all from the same person, and were posted in quick succession. On the one hand, I applaud this gentleman for facing whatever problems he may have. On the other …. ew!
life size adult doll
After entering in to sex rehab, my only option is to rid myself of all sex objects. I have for free, one life size adult “love” doll. I paid over $1200 for her back in 05′. you can her various out fits and wigs, but I am keeping her shoes.
first come first serve.
He’s keeping her shoes? That’s kind of odd. It’s all or nothing, Spunky … you can’t hang onto isolated fetishes.
free box of porno movies
MUST BE 18
Shoe box full of some “well” used adult dvds, they are greasy with finger prints, I would imagine with some windex and old fashion elbow grease they would be like new!
Various titles including,Star whores
Deep throat island
Grandmas boy
Throbin Hood (Prince of Beaves)
Lord Of The G-Strings
Ocean’s 11 inches
Rambone
Schindler’s Fist
Black Cock DownFirst come first serve, I am joining a sex addicts class and first step is to throw out my porn collection, and cant see throwing my dvds away, I have enjoyed these a lot and know someone else will enjoy them.
In the interest of research*, I decided to find out if these are real movie titles. Several bottles of brain bleach and about nine showers later, here’s what I’ve determined:
- Star Whores — real (also used as the title in Zach and Miri Make a Porno)
- Deep Throat Island — possibly real
- Grandma’s Boy — not real, unless it’s this movie, in which case … ew.
- Throbin Hood — disturbingly real
- Lord of the G-strings — real, but disappointingly, only R-rated
- Ocean’s 11 inches — apparently not real (lots of references to it, but I can’t find an actual movie by that name, and really don’t want to so please don’t link to it thankyouverymuch)
- Rambone — real
- Schindler’s Fist — thankfully, not real; used as a parody title in quite a few places though
- Black Cock Down — very, very real
*That’s what the kids are calling it these days.**
** This may not actually be true.
So now I’m wondering if this guy is real or just trying to rile people up. There’s a lot of lists of “funny” porn movie names, and most of these are on those lists.
adult movies gone still have..
adult movies gone, but I found another copy of “black cock down”, about 1/3 bottle of a large bottle of lube, and a small collection of designer womens shoes
pyite, who sent me all three of these ads, says, “Oh my god, why won’t this guy run out of lonely sex stuff?” Well, at least he’s given up on keeping the shoes! Spunky is making progress!
Thanks, JT and pyite!
I wouldn’t touch any of these things with a 10 foot pole (or Shindler’s Fist)
I can’t (see: won’t) even imagine what that ‘doll’ has been through in the last 5 years.
That one definitely deserves a “Kill it! KILL IT WITH FIRE!”
“Nuke it from orbit. Only way to be sure.”
I wouldn’t touch any of these things with a 10 foot pole
That’s what he said.
Fourth ad:
i just found another 1/4 bottle of lube and a 10 foot pole, barely used. as always first come, first serve
Fifth ad:
lube all gone, but Eureka! found turkey baster, night vision goggles, an 1/8 jar of fuschia latex, zip ties and a third copy of “black cock down” and as usual first served, first come
The truly disturbing part is that there’s someone out there messed-up enough to go for it because it’s free.
“I’ll just wash it!”
*Full body yuckgasm*
Not enough soap/detergent/bleach/cleanser/napalm in the world.
Depending what he’s done with the shoes, I might be willing to overlook it and thoroughly sanitize them. It also depends on his definition of “designer”, and what size feet his love doll had.
used sex doll? I’d rather go to the local thrift store and buy some underwear then get anywhere near this doll…
ewwww…
I think you mean “I can’t imagine what has been through that doll.”
Double ick.
This is entirely too much for a Monday morning.
*shudders – and not from the cold – and slinks back into the corner*
*dispenses comfy cushions and water or tea to all who need it in the corner*
Thanks…… *wraps up her traumatized self*
Could you put some malt whisky in my water?
In fact, could you put quite a bit of malt in?
Honestly, you could could just skip the water for a while.
If fact, if you’d like, I’ll take the whisky, whisky, eggs, sausage, whisky, and whisky; and you can hold the eggs and sausage.
You got it, Capn! How about a little whiskey to hold you until I can dump the eggs and sausage?
This brings a whole new meaning to morning sickness…*urp*
So that’s where I left my shoes.
You’re such a doll, penguin.
Like one of these? http://www.realdoll.com/cgi-bin/snav.rd?action=viewpage§ion=dollgallery
True Story, my honey actually considered a job as a sculpter with this company. Briefly. 8) I think the dolls are beautiful!
Thank you for the ruination of everything I held dear.
When I was working security in college, a collegue and I had a 5 hour conversation about real dolls.
I won’t expand on that, because the truth of that conversation is far more disappointing* and dorky than what your imaginations will come up with.
*Hloy carp, I speeled that wright!
You haven’t seen Lars and the Real Girl?
Love that movie! I’ve never been a fan of Ryan Gosling, but he is so sweet in that movie. I tried explaining it to some friends, but I just got this blank look. “He lives with a doll? That’s weird!”
why do they all remind me of Lara Flynn Boyle?
Hopefully for comparisons to emoting like 135# of laytex, rather than to any other familiarity.
The first one in the Male category looks like Mark Hamill. I can’t imagine that’s much of a coincidence. #knowyourmarket
*whimpers in a corner* I was *just* about to have lunch, Windrose… and now I’m not hungry anymore.
I’m also pretty sure I saw Halle Berry down in the very last row of… dolls. Now I’m utterly disturbed.
“This is a great start-up kit for someone looking to become a” sex-addict.
If it doesn’t already exist, it will soon. I think that’s a subheading under Rule 34.
The Lil’ Mr. Pervert Kit*, from Ron-Co!
*(Night vision goggles sold seperately)
Ah, Craigslist – reminding us that we’re not as lonely as people who spend $1200 on a sex toy.
Or are looking for a used $1200 sex toy on CraigsList.
Sometimes there is not enough boiling bleach.
This one might require boiling battery acid.
Schindler’s Fist is pretty remarkable. Let’s see…
I’ll take “Porn Movie Puns on Movies that Should Never Be Turned Into Porn” for $200, Alex.
Um … “What is Rise of a Fellation?”
And for $300.
Uh… “What is Roger In Me?”
For $400 …
“What is The Seventh Feel?”
And for five:
Got it. “What is Shoah! Oh! Ah! Oh! Ah!”
30 Rock did a great episode recently with some fantastic spoof porn titles on the on-screen guide in the background:
– Ass-Atar
-The Lovely Boners
-The Hind Side
-The Pert Knockers
-Sherlock Homos
-Horny With A Chance of My Balls
-Fresh-Ass Based on the Novel ‘Tush’ by Assfire (my personal favorite)
•Withering Hogs
•Some Christmas Tail
•Henry the Fist
•The Scarlet Member
•Big New Wang
•The Catcher in the Rear
And some titles don’t even need to be changed:
•Deadeye Dick
•The Call of the Wild
•Crime and Punishment
•Moby Dick
•Of Human Bondage
Those classical writers are kinda kinky sometimes.
And to the second list add, “The Firm.”
Also;
The Client
The Chamber
The Rainmaker
The Partner
The Brethren
The Bleachers
The Broker
Playing for Pizza
That John Grisham is a dirty, dirty old man.
And a few of those not-so-wholesome favorites:
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Lady and the Tramp
Beauty and the Beast
Sleeping Beauty
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Pinocchio
The Not.A.Lion King
Alice in Wonderland
Cinderfella
Beetlejuice
Exodus
Pulp Friction
A River Runs Through It
Rooster Cockburn
I better stop now….
Sadly, there is already a X-rated version of Alice in Wonderland from the ’70s. It’s a very , very, bad musical in that really horribly cheesy ’70s way, but with nudity. (Don’t judge me, it wasn’t my idea and “What has been seen…)
Rule 34 is once again proven correct.
I was astounded* that, merely by suggesting that the un-doctored titles of common kiddie movies be attributed to X-rated movies, caused them all to take on a more than a little creepy vibe.
Thanks for the [corey] on the Alice but the one I was thinking of was a XXX-rated instead of just an X-rated version.
*maybe more gob-smacked
For it’s time it was probably XXX, but I’ve seen worse on premium TV channels.
I had a hard time watching the cartoon afterwards, there was this side-by-side comparision running in my head that I Could. Not. Get. Out.(And I really wanted to. It was like a visual earworm.)
Sorry for the creepy corey 🙂
“A Cock in Lips Now” and “An Officer In a Gentleman” just sprang to mind and I don’t think either have been made.
Yes, I’m humiliated.
“Sprang” to mind?
….I’m going to need some serious brain bleaching before I go home to the family.
*Hands over a bucked of boiling bleach*
It’s best if you pour it in your eyes too.
Or use this rusty melon baller, it’ll get out all those pesky optic nerves.
(shivers)
I’m joining the Shudder Squad on this one.
Some things should just not be reused. EVER.
Shudder Squad is my favorite Devo tribute band. (Or it would be, if it existed.)
Man I love those guys. I celebrate their entire repertoire.
However, it really brings the house down when they play Girl U Want da Wiggins or Freedom of Jeebies.
Isn’t it better that Sparky enjoyed his particular fettishes with inanimate or partly animated objects instead of forcing himself on living things? Or is that in yet another further different ad? “FREE — collection of photos –” No, not going there. Sorry.
I’m surprised he didn’t ask for photos of where…
Nope, not going there, that is a scary place.
“first come first serve.”
… heh heh heh.
(I don’t buy that he’s going into sex rehab – or if he is, I don’t think it’s going to take. He’s viewing his collection with entirely too much fondness and pride to really be at the proverbial rock bottom.)
…”in-styler…”
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
It was well before the days of Craigslist, but this reminds me of the time I ended up leaving the hospital with a vibrator that my mom gave me.
I had a pretty serious stint in the hospital at the end of my senior year in college, and my mom came up to tend to me for the whole 2 weeks. I was bed-bound for much of it, so at some point, she trucked down to the local five and dime and picked up something that she thought would help – a Conair handheld personal massager.
I remember in my brain-addled state being a bit confused by all the attachments, wondering exactly what you’d use THAT for, and THIS one really not feeling terribly good on my back at all. I set it aside, and brought it home when I came home.
A few months later, my girlfriend at the time finds it and asks me what I’m doing with a vibrator. I insist, it’s a personal massager, says so right on the box that I dutifully kept, and my mother got it for me in the hospital, thankyouverymuch.
She grabs a sex reference book off her bookshelf, opens it up, and points. Therein was printed a picture of the exact model that I was holding in my hands as an example of a commercially-marketed sex toy.
That’s a wonderful juxtiposition; seeing as ill-placed vibrators are usually the cause of hospital visits.
That’s totally where I thought he was going. My disappointment knows no bounds.
“Personal massager” is a blanket term that covers a number of things, mostly so people aren’t quite as embarrased when they purchase them. This also leads to a number of devices that are, quite frankly, wrongity-wrong-wrong.
The first time I went to Vegas (with my mom) we signed up for the rewards club at one of the semi-famous casinos. (They issue a card you put in the slot machines and you earn points depending on how much you spend that you can trade in for rewards.) We spent a few minutes playing and I got curious so I went to see if I had “earned” anything. The lady gave me a “scalp massager” hairbrush. That’s right, a vibrator/hairbrush. It came with batteries and had the casino’s name embossed in gold on the rather long and bulbous handle. I took it back to Mom and we laughed for a good ten minutes over that thing. I left it tucked under the pillows when we checked out of the room.
Since then I have seen worse.
You should have linked the Jesus Dildo.
I’d link it, but I can’t get the web address with this computer.
Even I have standards,TM. (Also my work computer blocked it.)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/renakosnett/2364050503/
Note: the link is not so massive.
There’s also this:
http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php
*Pardon me while I take a bath in holy Clorox water*
I should be shocked and offended by that link SJ, but I have witnessed what comes out of vending machines on the streets of Kyoto…….so, not at all concerned about that particular device.
On my first trip to Vegas I thought I had literally hit the jackpot. In my room was not some dull Gideon Bible; oh noes, under my pillow I found tucked a magnificent gold, bulbous-handled, harbinger of cranial bliss – a scalp massager. This was no ordinary stimulator of follicles. This massager had been laughed over for at least 10 minutes by persons of vision and intellect, persons who are definitely not.a.lion yet may associate with llama nuns and ostrimu. I am sad to report I was separated from said bliss engine by an officious TSA representative who said it looked suspicious. Scalp massager…oh…how…I…miss you 🙁
On the whole, it certainly seems that TSA has found a way to only hire the humorless and pedantically doctrinaire.
My mother once bought my grandmother one of those massage pads that are meant to go on a chair. It didn’t work, so my mother took my grandmother to the store to exchange it. Before my mother could say anything, my partially deaf grandmother is explaining, in a very loud voice, that her vibrator doesn’t work. The teenaged boy behind the counter apparently turned beet red and ran off to find a manager.
My mother is convinced that despite dementia in her later years, grandma did it on purpose.
What’s the point of getting old if you can’t have a little fun?
My dad’s on the shady side of sixty and he spent twenty minutes tormenting a telemarketer who had the misfortune to call our house last Thursday.
Especially fun at the expense of young(er) people.
I was grocery shopping with my mother some years ago and she held up an enormous cucumber from the other side of the produce department and yelled, “Do you think THIS one’s big enough?” It probably would have passed over without remark except that in the ensuing moment of silence she yelled, “Oh, I forgot – we’re in public – sorry!”
You’re right, sarajean, and I plan to take full advantage of it when I get older.
My mom does the same thing with telemarketers. Her favorite is to affect a very heavy, very fake Eastern European accent and ask the caller to speak English. Pretty mean for a woman with four children, all of whom have suffered that line of work at some point.
Dad’s favorite is to randomly punch numbers while the person is talking (I’ve done it a few times, if you hold down the button there is this really loud, protracted tone that really grates on the nerves.)
We took away his air horn, though. He was scaring the cats.
I do my best to answer all their question with rhetorical questions.
“Can you verify your birthday for me?”
“If I were to do so, would it make the world a better place?”
Maybe it’s just me, but…. your girlfriend has a sex reference book? I’m trying to figure out if that means something along the lines of a textbook, or a “personal” reference book….
And it has pictures?
*Glances at his Kama Sutra on the shelf*
Well, the one we have does.
Pop-up Kama Sutra, perhaps?
It was actually a copy of Sex for Dummies that was given as a gag gift.
Back in my SCA days, I entered a Persona contest, where the goal is to answer the judges questions in your persona better than the other entrants. My persona is a young woman of Irish family traveling with her uncle, and excommunicated monk, and a band of merchants. Throughout Europe and some parts east. Her uncle taught her to read and write, and she collects scrolls and manuscripts and books. I said that I had a copy of the Kama Sutra, and the judge, thinking he had me, asked if I read Hindu? I stated I didn’t. Then he asked why I had a book if I couldn’t read it. I shyly answered that I just looked at the pictures.
I won the contest. 8)
Advert:
I have several sex toys that I would like to sell to a good home. Right now I’m just probing my local area and trying to get a feel for any kind of market there may be for these items. I’ve even been pounding the pavement around town looking for that person who’ll be just the right fit for these products. I know that things have been tight for everyone with the economy, but I’m hoping there is a special someone who can squeeze these into their budget. So if you’re interested in thrusting yourself into a new lifestyle full of self indulgence, please reply to this ad and we’ll work something out.
Thank you,
CIO Taco
P.S. If you don’t think you can handle this, please do not reply.
I’ve gone into “that’s what she said” overload.
I’ll just be over here in the corner, rocking back and forth slowly and trying to go to my happy place.
“rocking back and forth slowly and trying to go to my happy place”
That’s what she said!
Niiiiice.
Yes it is.
Come join us, sarajean…. Windrose is providing tea.
I’ve got the rum.
I’d comment, but I’m seriously distracted by Sarah Palin staring at me from the “Tea Party” ad. Not a huge fan, but she’s prettier than that. Horrible photo. Of course, having her face so close to a picture of a dildo probably doesn’t help her any.
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
“…having her face so close to a picture of a dildo probably doesn’t help her any.”
Must. Fight. Urge. To. Make. McCain. Joke…
Don’t forget O’Reilly and Beck. Oh, and her wedding photos.
Yeah…a former Officer and a Douchebag….
Lest we slip into another political rant today, I will mention that my ad is for Insider Tech Deals, and shows a laptop. Ew.
Apple’s new iWank.
Technology and an affirmative statement all in one.
If you don’t get it, say the product’s name out loud right now. Very loud. In fact if you’re at work, shout it.
I seem to recall a porno by the title of Nailin’ Palin being produced around the time of the election. Better than the alternative, I suppose: Ridin’ Biden. *shudder*
OH GOD! *throws up a little*
As long as the makers of “Schinder’s Fist” one day end up in one of the fiery realms of Hades, wise justice will have been served.
Help us Admiral Ackbar, you’re our only hope…
“It’s a part!”
“Pa, it’s art!”
“Strap it, A.!”
A pi start:
Once upon a 3.14159….
If I were female I’d have a girl crush on Mudsy for that one.
I’ll just have to continue the mutual stalking to show my appreciation.
*stalk stalk stalk*
Hehe…tm (feeling a bit lower-case today?) … I love it when you stalk me on other websites. It feels so clandestine.
But you never reply to any of the “Missed Connections” I post after those meetings. However, I know you’re just playing koi.
(I go lowercase whenever I log into the forums. For some reason WP doesn’t like capitalization.)
No, WP doesn’t like Capitalism…!
*socialist blogger*
🙂
Why is it that the DVD’s themselves are greasy? How much grease has to be on your fingers to make it so that the DVD’s have to be cleaned. I mean technically when one of these DVD’s is “in use” it should be protected inside a machine.
Unless someone was utilizing a DVD design feature…
Ew.
Pen, as much as i dislike having to explain this, when people have ‘finished’ and take the dvds out, their hands are less than sanitary.
*Hands boiling bleach all around*
Once considered, things can’t be un-considered.
Maybe I’m just bizazarely expecting people to be sanitary. It’s that youthful wide-eyed idealism again. I just can’t seem to rid myself of it.
Aww, that’s so cute!
You must not have read the archives yet.
Merely sweaty finger anticipation.
Sweaty Finger Anticipation is totally the name of my Meat Loaf cover band.
Do you sing?:
I’d Do Anything for Jello (But I Won’t do That)
Parasites by the Dashboard Light
You Took the Gum Right Out of My Mouth
The Monster is Loose (Anybody Got a Penis Wrench?)
Ewe Out of Three Ain’t Baaaaaa-d
Smell Out My Bat
Sweaty Finger Anticipation
With Expecting Sanitary People opening 2niTe Only
at the No 4No klub!
Actually, I believe he described them as tapes… in which case, I really don’t want to know.
It was dvds (or duds, due to misreading the italics) because Windex was involved as well as greasy elbows*.
*What do you do? Stick them in a bucket of KFC?
Uhm… Wouldn’t the hole not be big enough? I mean, he’d have to have a, ah, willy about the size of a 6 month old to make use of a DVD that way. Either that, or my brain went places it shouldn’t have…
A little from Column A and a little from Column B, I expect,EB.
And, with 6, you get eggroll (to invoke and ancient cultural reference).
No wonder I couldn’t sleep last night. My intuition was telling me that someone, somewhere, was invoking my name in a most glorious way. This wasn’t even on my schedule. You could have given me a weeks notice or something, since the possibilities are endless here. I didn’t even have a raunchy speech prepared. See what happens when I’m Summoned?
*disclaimer: I don’t even own anything like this, (I know, shocking) but having friends that work at ‘adult’ stores has done things to my brain that I can’t speak of*
Well you know… there’s certainly an opportunity right now to own one. So long as you’re willing to clean it…
Haha! Honestly, walking into our local Hustler starts out with curiosity, then horror, then uncontrollable laughter. Then more horror. Soem things are definitely understandable, but 90% of the things *pun intended* I see in there give me horrible, debilitating images of people I have to deal with every day. Sorry, boss, I don’t usually barf on people’s shoes in the middle of meetings. I was just imagining…
Actually, that brings up a related question: what do you do with old, unwanted sex toys? It would be irresponsible to simply throw them away to be taken to the landfill, especially if they contain any electronic parts. On the other hand, it must be awkward to walk into the recycling center with a bag full of dildos.
unwanted sex toys
Isn’t that usually considered a paradox?
It’s probably also a band name.
Attach them to a wooden plank and use it as a gun/coat rack. You’d probably have to put dowels into the less rigid ones.
Hey, they did it with deer feet, so I don’t see why not.
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4236
Aiaiaieieiee! Pen!
That’s as scary a thought as for when future archeologists go and mine our landfills to examine what we are forced to call current civilization.
Maybe we will all become lucky, and a clever person will workout how to mine the recyclables and valuables from our middens, and such, er, dross, will vanish into apropos smelters.
Until then, I’ll be here in the corner humming Spam song only subbing Whisky for Spam, hm,hmm.hmmm,hmm…
You make political art, of course. Grab a heat gun, Liquid Nails, a few random doll parts, the contents of your recycling bin. some red paint and the unwanted toys. Use the Liquid Nails to secure all of the above items to a plank. Partially melt the plastic bits with the heat gun and splash some red paint on while thinking about man’s inhumanity toward man.
Give it a nice, suggestive title (like: Drill Baby Drill! or The Teabagging of America) and sell it to your local gallery.
Unwanted Sex Toys- Toy Story Grows Up.
To intercourse, and beyond!
unwanted sex toys
Rudolph and Santa take them to the Island of Misfit Sex Toys…
Not.A. Lion King Moonracer awaits them.
*spoken part*
How would you like to be a Spotted InStyler?
Or a Choo-Choo with square wheels up your caboose?
Or a water pistol that shoots — ky jelly?
We’re all misfits!
How would you like to be a bird that doesn’t fly? I punch!
Or a llama who rides an ostrich?
Or a whatever floats your boat–even when it can’t stay afloat*!
We’re all misfits
On Craigslist.
*we have blue pills for that
Excellent, Mudsy. I think you deserve a retroactive punch. (Not a radioactive one; I wouldn’t want you to absorb the proportionate strength and speed of a boozy fruit beverage.)
Moonracer is a misfit, of course, because he is the Not.A.Lion that has a tawny coat, a mane, and no stripes. A Not.A.Lion that looks like a lion!
Thanks Isaac.
And since I’ve been here at YSaC, I’ve come to believe that there are no such things as lions….they went the way of the dodo years ago and are sitting drinking a beer with Santa, the Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, and a Compassionate Rush Limbaugh.
And Graham isn’t even here to be my muse….*sob*
I’m doin’ my best to fill in for him, HHNF. I just don’t think I’m as dirty as him… and I don’t like duct tape or Bea Arthur that much.
Duct Tape,
Duct Tape,
Duct Tape,
Duct Tape.
Ok, so why is it Sparky made no mention of heading off to Alaska?
This old article makes so much more sense now….
http://www.theonion.com/articles/craigslist-server-contracts-hpv,2713/
Well, this one came to my mind: http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=1330
Sparky did say he was planning on selling his, ahem, assets, before going to sully AK’s wilderness.
TODAY is TacoMagic’s BIRTHDAY! Hooray! Bake a cake! Sing a song! Dance and dance, all night long! (patent pending)
Thanks WindRose :).
My wife brought my favorite pizza to work (Chicago Stuffed from my favorite restaurant: DiCarlo) and there was much gorging on pizza.
I also bought myself a little something to go on my computer at work. My co-workers think I’m strange.
Very cool! I love it. Almost makes me want to trade out my monitor lizard.
Ooo, nice!
Question; They didn’t think you were strange before?
Happy Birthday, TM!
(It’s better than the alternative,right?)
Happy birthday, Taco!
I have a sea-serpent puppet perched on top of my computer. You’re not strange. 😉
Happy birthday, Taco!
Happy Birthday Taco. If I had known it was your birthday, I would have baked you a cake.
Well, it might not just be your co-workers . . .
But, then again, why is there such perjoration on ‘strange’? Is not the famous advice “vive l’difference”?
Happy Birthday Tacomagic!
You ARE strange, and that’s a very good thing 🙂
Happy Birthday, TacoMm. It couldn’t happen to a funnier guy.
happy birthday tacoooooo
According to Facebook, tomorrow is Igor’s birthday! Wonder if he will have time to drop by so we can wish him happy?
This also seems like a good time to announce the Don’t Suck-Off results for the first quarter of 2010. In third place, with 4 solo turns and 2 group efforts, Isaac! Tied for second, Lola, with 1 solo and 6 group, and sarajean80, with 5 solo and 2 groups. And finally, in first place, setting the bar higher and higher, TACOMAGIC with 4 solo, 4 group, and 1 honoray! Let’s hear it for our winners!
I am going to try to post the whole list in the forums. If you disagree with my tally, please fill out the form attached in triplicate, and mail it to Windrose care of this station. Thank you!
Yay! I didn’t think I had that many.
Congrats to everyone who made the Don’t Suck box ♥
Holy crap. Didn’t think I had that many. I’m way closer to that coffee than I thought!
Thanks for doing the tally Windrose, you’re awesome.
🙂
Congrats to all who keep that box filled every day. And congrats to all those who aspire to the box and keep the comments filled with fresh, wholesome snark.
My question is: Who keeps around an extra copy of a porno. I mean isn’t one copy of “black cock down” enough for all your pleasure?
If you play two copies of “Black Cock Down” on two TVs at the same time you can watch it in 3-D.
I mean, that’s what I’ve heard… from a friend… on the internet… from his friend… in Canada… yeah, that’s where I heard about that…
A possible answer started forming in my head but then I thought of where that might lead and I don’t have enough bleach on hand to go there.
Everyone lies about sex. Therefore, the posters are lying about the reasons they are discarding these ‘objets du désir’. And since the reasons they give are ghastly, I would heartily recommend that anyone willing to take these on for free go get smashingly drunk and just forget the whole thing.
Am i the only one who thought of this documentary reading the doll ad? Especially when he refers to the doll as ‘her’ and ‘her clothes’/’her shoes’ as if shes alive?
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/guys-and-dolls/ <– the full documentary.
*no nudity or anything, but that doesn't stop it from being more disturbing than the entirety of craigslist combined*
Yup, only you.
=(
btw, skip to 39:50 if you want to be scarred for life.
Used sex toys are _NEVER_ a good idea. Ew.
As for the list of porno titles, it is really difficult to confirm or deny their actual existence based on an internet search. Just because Google doesn’t hit the title doesn’t mean some producer somewhere released something of that title.
(Tangent: I agree how he is going about this is suckworthy, but laughing at the titles themselves borders on violating your principle of not posting otherwise non-sucking personal ads for fetishes)
Anyway, I’m actually a bit more disturbed this is likely somebody about to fall victim to cultural hysteria about so-called “sex addiction” than I am about the items themselves. Not that I don’t find used sex toys on CL disturbing for health reasons..
A new word for everyone’s vocabulary: “Squick”
Squick is the opposite of “hubba hubba” or “woo hoo”.
My reaction to these ads is “Squick!”…. is there any free stuff left?
If you are interested, I have updated the forum topic on You Don’t Suck comments that made the box each day up to March 15th. I’ll finish the rest as soon as I can.
Oh dear. I’m terribly late to the party, and all I can imagine is the horrible burns you’d get from using that In Styler as the poster apparently wants you to use it.
I was e-deprived yesterday and missed this when it was new; having read all comments, don’t know whether to be sad or grateful that I didn’t get to think about this all day …
*leaves to bathe in boiling bleach and hydrochloric acid*