YSaC, Vol. 601: ¿Que?

2010 March 10

Bi-Lingual (Everywhere)


Iam getting so sick and tired of all these job posting on Craigslist, you must be Bi-Lingual.
This is the United States of America, we speak English.
If I was in another country to seek Employment, I would learn there native language.
So for all you Employers that are hireing, Iam on a quest to everyone out there in the seeking employment world to flag all post that require Bi-lingual. Thank you very much.

If you were in another country, and you — by some miracle — were able to learn their native language, wouldn’t that make you … bilingual? Although, since you haven’t even technically learned ENGLISH yet, Sparky, that would be a stretch.

Damn it, there I go bringing logic into it again. I have to stop doing that.

But now I’ve got this song in my head, and that makes it kind of worth it:

Edited to add: I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner!

Thanks for the submission, SLiver of Jade!

171 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 March 10
    B....... permalink

    Yeah! What’s up with these demanding employers? Next they’ll be requiring cooks that can cook, accountants that can count, a seamstress that can sew……..

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 March 10
      Tacowagic permalink

      I have to say, I’m bemused by the hint this guy dropped that his entire job hunting pool appears to be Craigslist. Apparently a diversified job hunt is right up there with being Bi-Lingual: Americans* don’t need it, and are insulted when it seems necessary.

      *And by Americans I mean the ugly kind that make all the other Americans say they’re from Canada when visiting Europe. I’m guilty of that one myself.

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 March 10
        mudslicker permalink

        TacoWaaaaaaaah:

        You said “bemused”….how bemusing…

        And regarding that job hunting pool, my guess is this guy did a cannonball from the shallow end and now he needs to be netted off the bottom.

        Wanna see the pic I took in Pizza with me standing there pretending to try to prop up that leaning tower? Wait till I tell you what I did with that nekkid David statue! I am so bemusingly funny and clever for being so ugly.

        Regards,

        mudsy

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 March 10
          Lola permalink

          Mudsy, based on the photo of you (?) from your former avatar and your sense of humor (particularly as evinced here), I am convinced that you are the spiritual – if not genetic – mother of a good friend of mine. She’s great – and when I’m in public with her I don’t know which I’m going to die of first, laughing or embarrassment. If she could see the David statue and managed to climb up on the plinth, she would. And insist I take her picture with her mouth open.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 10
          Windrose permalink

          Hee hee hee, Taker her to Disneyland, Lola. There’s a bronze statue of Goofy in the circle just outside the Sleeping Beauty Castle ™ that gives us chuckles. Women can stand just so, and it looks like their chest area is in Goofy’s open mouth. Ah, good times.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          Lola permalink

          Windrose, if you hear about that on the news, I’m the one wearing the paper bag + cut-out eyeholes. 8)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 March 10
          mudslicker permalink

          Lola and Windrose: you two made me smile and giggle this morning.

          I’m not so sure that Goofy would provide the same high-brow-ugliness that only ancient art & architecture can bring to TacoWaaaaahs slinking away in a pool of mortified Canuck-maple-leaf-flag-waving-drool (you do know that country is the donut eating capital of the world, don’t you?).

          *fig leaves all around*

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10
        CapnMac permalink

        by the hint this guy dropped that his entire job hunting pool appears to be Craigslist

        Perhaps it is the form of “Bi-” rather than “bilingual” that suggests this poster has more to be angry about than merely an alleged lack of communication diversity inthe Jobs section . . .

        I’m having a flashback to the Ten-Bears soliquey in Outlaw Josie Wales
        http://www.whysanity.net/monos/outlaw.html “It’s sad that governments are chiefed by the double-tongues.”

        Maybe OP just needs REAL!!!!!!FUN and is tired of –

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 11
          D / DM permalink

          It’s amazing how much thought you put

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 11
        screamer permalink

        I’m a Canadian who has provided Maple Leaf pins to American friends to wear when they travel.

        Adores: 1
  2. 2010 March 10

    Nothing snarky…yet…just wanted to be first so I could claim the Neener-Neener Award for the day.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 10

      Dammit….can’t even get a Neener since B…..beat me to it.

      I’ll go pout now. *sulks to corner and waits Windrose’s comfy pillow and glass of water*

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 10
        tacomagic permalink

        ELEBENTIETH!!!11!!elebenty+

        Adores: 11
      • 2010 March 10
        Windrose permalink

        *hands over comfy pillow and glass of water with significant impurities in it*

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10
        B....... permalink

        Sorry CJ – I’m such a party pooper…..

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 10

          ‘S-Okay, B…. Every party needs a pooper, looks like today it’s you. 😉

          Adores: 3
  3. 2010 March 10
    sarajean80 permalink

    Gee, I wished I spoke Idiot so I could understand what Sparky was saying. I’m only fluent in English and Snark.

    Adores: 16
    • 2010 March 10

      Well, I’m fluent in English and Sesame Street, Yo Gabba Gabba, Wonder Pets, and Backyardigans (2 yr. old grandson shares the house with us now).

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 March 10
        Meredith permalink

        Hey now, throw in some Handy Manny and Dora, and you’ll be on your way to being bi-lingual.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10

          Lest we forget! How about Diego, while we’re at it?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 10
          penguin permalink

          My daughter knows more Spanish than I do thanks to Dora.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 11
        D / DM permalink

        If anysmurf needs to smurf a smurfy smurf, I’m smurf.

        Adores: 3
  4. 2010 March 10

    Ahhh…”quest”….which naturally brings me to……

    Oh we’re tough and able
    Quite indefatigable
    Between our quests we sequin vests
    And impersonate Clark Gable

    I love a good Monty Python first thing in the morning.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 March 10
      Meredith permalink

      I really need to watch me some more Monty Python. It used to make me cringe more than laugh. I have a strong “oooohhh, that’s goofy in a really embarrassing way” cringe reaction. I’m just learning to leave it at the door.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 10

        An absolute must where MP is concerned.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 10
      ck what permalink

      Have you seen Python’s Camelot Interlude by Kirk and Crew?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QSaM5gQ9vo

      (Apologies if this has already been posted several times — I’m new here.)

      Adores: 0
  5. 2010 March 10
    Tacowagic permalink

    Bi-lingual…

    You keep using that word, but I do not think it means what you think it means.

    Adores: 29
    • 2010 March 10

      That’s inconceivable

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 March 11
        D / DM permalink

        Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You seek bilingual applicants. Prepare to hire.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 11
          sarajean80 permalink

          I can hear this in my head in his voice and it is AWESOME ♥

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 10
      mudslicker permalink

      I think they were trying to spell Bai Lingual – an adjective pertaining to describing Bai Ling.

      http://www.askmen.com/celebs/women/actress_250/279_bai_ling.html

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 March 10

        I’m allergic to Bai Ling.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 10

          Remind me not to sit next to you in a sinking lifeboat, then, drmk…

          … nor to call you with my single phone call after I’ve been arrested.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 March 10
          Lola permalink

          I’m allergic to Tila Tequila. Headache, nausea, etc.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 10
        Meredith permalink

        I think you’re thinking of Bai-Lingus, muddy.

        ::shudder:: like oral sex with a mummy ::shudder::

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 March 10
          Lola permalink

          Thanks, Meredith, just did a bit of sick in my mouth, there. 8)

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 March 10
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        …or they were trying to describe those people who get their tongues cut and forked. Damn kids, get off my lawn with your rock music and your piercings and your fancypants tongues!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’d like to nominate “FancyPants Tongues” as today’s band name.

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 March 11
        D / DM permalink

        Am I the only one who doesn’t get the appeal of Bai Ling? Thanks, btw, for linking to askmen.com, where they gave her an 84% sexiness rating for being “Asian.”

        Oh, wait. Of course I’m not the only one. The OP is just plain sick of her.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 10

      Oh, I dunno Taco…I’ve read the ad a few times and I’d have to say this gentleman is definitely a cunning linguist.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        I wouldn’t say that… he seems a bit, well, anal.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          Lola permalink

          “Paging Dr. Freud … Dr. Freud, please report to the internet.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          Fluke Starbucker permalink

          I don’t know what you all are talking about, but for some reason I’m reminded of that time way back when that I saw Miff Mole at the Blue Note in Chicago. Miff was great, but he was a bit out of practice, sort of needed to warm up, oh what’s the word?

          Adores: 0
  6. 2010 March 10
    Karmyn permalink

    Before you complain about people who speak more than one language or maybe having to learn one, you really should learn your native tongue a lot better.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 March 10
      Tacowagic permalink

      It seems to me he speeks Stupid pretty fluently. I’m not seeing the issue with his native language.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 March 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        If he only speaks the native language, wouldn’t that be something like Tsalagi?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 10
          mudslicker permalink

          Does that Tsalagi come with meatballs?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          Sorry ’bout that – Tsalagi is the Cherokee language. One of those obscure things I’m not sure why I know.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 10
        Karmyn permalink

        Oh he’s fluent in Stupid. Certainly doesn’t seem fluent in English, that’s for sure.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 10
        mudslicker permalink

        He submitted this Craigslist ad in Crayon font 24 pt.

        Adores: 9
      • 2010 March 10
        Meredith permalink

        Awww, come on guys, don’t be so hard on him. He just wants a job so he can Git-R-Done.

        I actually gagged when I re-read that. Somebody sock me in the jaw for writing those words.

        ::extends jaw for punching:: please?

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 March 10

          *steals Windrose’s puncher*
          WHACK!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 10
          Meredith permalink

          Thank you. Much better.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 11
      screamer permalink

      Reminds me of that thing that went around the web a few years ago after Vancouver was awarded the 2010 Winter Olympics. It was a series of Q and As aimed at Americans. One of the questions was “Will I be able to speak English anywhere I go in Canada?” And the answer was: “Yes, but you’ll need to learn it first.”

      Adores: 3
  7. 2010 March 10
    Miki permalink

    And while we’re on the subject, I’m really really tired of muscling through my six years of schooling just so I can feed you people drugs. Everyone flag all the pharmacist openings that require a degree. This is America and we avoid books at all cost here.

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 March 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      You could skip all that school nonsense and just open a free-lance operation on any corner downtown.
      Be sure to stock up on health insurance.

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 March 10
      Meredith permalink

      And those jobs that demand you have “experience” really irk me, too. Like, if I HAD a job, why would I look for a job?

      And the whole “No working or living or socializing withing 150 feet of my ex” thing is really F%&cking stupid, too! It’s not my fault I’m always nearby, he’s always near all the best jobs!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        And it’s his fault for leading me on! He’s always near a window; in his cubicle, at that restaurant with that little blond b…witch with the plastic knockers, “forgetting” to close his blinds all the way, when he was tumbling his delicates at the laundromat… and that’s just leading me on!
        And I suppose it was just an “accident” that he ducked into that store with the 25% off sale on binoculars the other day when I was following…I mean, when we were out shopping. It’s destiny.

        Adores: 3
  8. 2010 March 10
    Lola permalink

    Asschapeau. (Oh noes! Bilingual portmanteau* word!)

    *wonder if Sparky here knows what that means. ‘Cause it’s not English, but we don’t really have an equivalent word.

    I love how he doesn’t specify what language or languages it is that they are requesting, he just goes after “Bi-Lingual” like it’s equivalent to “certified,” “bonded,” or “licensed.”

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      Probably refers to portmanteau as “those smushed together words”.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 10
        CapnMac permalink

        Amy I the only one geeky enough to want the plural to be portes manteau and not portmanteaux?

        Or am I overstuffing the tete bag?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          Meredith permalink

          I heard a lot of women overstuff their tete bags. Try going up a size, and you’ll get a much more natural shape.

          Adores: 12
      • 2010 March 10
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Is that anywhere near Port Jervis?

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 10
      Windrose permalink

      In my work environment, we must provide customers with forms in any language they speak. And no, you can’t go to another country and get catered to like that, but that is what makes America different and in my opinion, better. I have had to train myself to talk about workers as being bilingual and monolingual, instead of Spanish speaking and English speaking. We also have folks bilingual in Tagalog, Farsi, French, Chinese (Mandarin and Cantonese), and Vietnamese. I revel in the different cultures and experiences that come together in my office. As someone who would like to travel but probably won’t get the chance, this is my window on a larger world. *blink* Hey, CJ, check that comfy pillow. I seem to have left my snark there.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 10

        *Hands Windrose the snark she left behind* Here ya go, have fun but don’t be late for dinner!

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10
        jackie31337 permalink

        In Finland I’ve been fairly lucky that most government offices that have contact with foreigners will do business in English even though they’re not required to (only Finnish and Swedish, and in some areas Sami, are required). The younger generations generally speak English well, and people are very eager to practice it with you. I still get spoken to in English at stores sometimes when they overhear me speaking English to my daughter (she’s bilingual in English and Finnish) even though I speak Finnish pretty well now. I’ve also been mistaken for being Swedish (not sure why), French (my full first name is Jacqueline), and Russian (I look it).

        When I moved here 12 years ago I was thoroughly unqualified for jobs like fast food worker, cleaner, etc. because of the language barrier. I have a degree in Spanish, but I couldn’t get certified to teach because the teacher certification courses and exams were in Finnish. I ended up getting into technical writing by accident just because I was generally a good writer, and most companies wanted their documentation in English. It wasn’t a career path I intended to take, but I’ve stuck with it because it’s turned out to be interesting.

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 11
        screamer permalink

        Here in Toronto you’ll hear about 70 different languages spoken. I consider it one of the most endearing things about our city. But I get annoyed sometimes too because when the conversation sounds really interesting (raised voices etc.) I really wish I knew what was being said 🙂

        Adores: 0
  9. 2010 March 10
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    Iam? What’s his second language, Dog Food?

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 March 10
      Artsy Computer Geet permalink

      I think you meant “dawg fud”.

      Adores: 3
  10. 2010 March 10

    Well, since the U.S. as a whole doesn’t have an official language, why does this person care so much? Freedom, baby! We can speak whatever we want to here!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 10
      Tacowagic permalink

      Except Latin! Damn Romans think they’re so clever.

      *Shakes Fist*

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 March 10
        Camille permalink

        I can too speak Latin! Semper ubi sub ubi.*

        * First Latin joke I learned. Only funny if you’re 12.

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 March 10
          Lola permalink

          Camille, apparently my mental age is 12, because that one still makes me giggle.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 10
          mudslicker permalink

          Ditto!

          I also giggle at anything with the word “cum”[pronounced KOO-m] in it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          Oh-Steve permalink

          I doubt he would be impressed that I can speak Spanish(poorly), Latin(even worse), and sign language(sort-of). Dammit, all that effort wasted.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10
        Dan permalink

        I direct you to the headline of the post from several days ago:

        http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4130

        I THINK I got the Latin right.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 10
          mudslicker permalink

          Fiat…..You mean Fix It Again Tony?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 10
          mudslicker permalink

          Snarkiness overcometh me *apologies*.

          Did you mean to say “Make the big light work”…?

          It looks correct to me, although I’m not positive about the ending on operari–should be 3rd person singular ( he/she/it) and that looks 1st person to me. Ancient Greek was my Mediterranean ancient language of torture.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 10
          Dan permalink

          Actually that was supposed to be genitive case – “Let there be a big light belonging to a worker.”

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 10
      Count Blah permalink

      I thought the official languages of the US were English and Spanish. Am I wrong?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 10
        emesis permalink

        ong-wray!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          mudslicker permalink

          Did you just put the bacon back into Latin emesis?

          *oink*

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 10
        HappyNat permalink

        Nope it’s Americanese.

        Adores: 0
  11. 2010 March 10

    I think Sparky should spend the time he is devoting to flagging all the “Bi-Lingual” ads to learning another language instead. I suggest English.

    Adores: 11
  12. 2010 March 10
    penguin permalink

    Iam que consigue tan enfermo y cansado de todos estos fijación de trabajo en Craigslist, usted debe ser bilingüe. Éste es los Estados Unidos de América, nosotros habla inglés. Si estuviera en otro país para buscar el empleo, aprendería allí lengua materna. Tan para todos usted patrones que hireing, Iam en una búsqueda a cada uno hacia fuera allí en el mundo del empleo que busca para señalar todo el poste por medio de una bandera que requiere al bilingüe. Gracias mucho.

    Just helping Sparky out so he can cover both sides of the bi-lingual issue. Mustn’t let those employers get away with posting a non-English ad.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 March 10
      Windrose permalink

      Penguin, mucho gusto!

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 10
      CapnMac permalink

      I often wonder if my Spanish would be better if I had not been in Texas and learning Spanglish by contact instead.

      Makes me fear I will degenerate into the pidgin of Sparky-speak (or, Philip Dick’s streetspeak in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 10
      Meredith permalink

      FLAG! FLAG THIS! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!? FLAG FLAG FLAG!!!!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        Wow, you sound so FUN!!!!!!! and REAL!!!!!!!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          Meredith permalink

          I’m very ‘ish, too!!! I have [Female Traits 3] and [Female Traits 4]!!!

          Adores: 2
  13. 2010 March 10
    Camille permalink

    Is Sparky perhaps unaware that the people who apply for jobs requiring that they be bi-lingual DO speak English? Or is it the existence of the presumably non-English speakers to whom they will have to speak that has him/her so hot and bothered? If the non-English speakers are his/her problem, how on earth will flagging these ads make the non-English speakers go away?

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 March 10
      Windrose permalink

      Camille, now you are getting in to logic! Tsk, tsk. Back away slowly, and return to the YSaC area.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        Logic has no place on CraigsList.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 11
          screamer permalink

          Logic especially has no place on YSaC.

          Adores: 0
  14. 2010 March 10

    The amount of Stupid in this ad is making my head hurt.

    Not to mention it makes me want to cry because when I lived in the States I knew people like this.

    (I might even know people like this here too but I don’t know because I don’t speak the language. Awkward.)

    Adores: 3
  15. 2010 March 10
    Count Blah permalink

    What strikes me about this ad is that lots of other countries have more than one official language. Here in Canada it’s English and French (you don’t have to be bilingual EVERYWHERE but there are plenty of jobs where it’s recommended or required). I believe throughout most of Europe all the signs are in like 8 languages.

    I’m starting to think the only country where Sparky WOULDN’T ever have to be bilingual to get a job is…England.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      Even then he would probably want people to “stop talking so funny.”

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 10
      jackie31337 permalink

      Finland’s official languages are Finnish and Swedish. Oddly enough, I was just thinking this morning that I should work on learning Swedish so that I could qualify for government jobs (a lot of them require both Finnish and Swedish, and some require Finnish, Swedish, and English).

      I wonder which European country has the largest number of official languages. I know Spain has 1 official and 4 co-official languages, but with the exception of Basque, they’re all somewhat similar to each other. Switzerland has an interesting mix of 4 official languages.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 10
        Windrose permalink

        Jackie, can you get a government grant to study this? I’d be interested in the findings.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 11
          jackie31337 permalink

          I could ask for a government grant, but I suspect I could do all the research needed on Wikipedia. Actually, that would mean I could use the grant money to take a paid vacation. I think you may be onto something.

          Adores: 2
  16. 2010 March 10
    mudslicker permalink

    drmk:

    As a curiosity, in what part of the country was this ad placed?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 10

      Pacific Northwest.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 10
        Lola permalink

        *cringes in contact shame from having lived there for a couple of decades*

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 10
        penguin permalink

        Sparky best never move to Texas then. English is the second language. I live in suburbia and it is very multicultural here. Spanish is predominant – everything from help wanted signs to food packages displayed with the Spanish worded side out. Chinese is also commonly overheard as well as other languages. There’s a Mexican eatery not far from my house that is smart enough to keep one person that can also speak English for us gringos that wander in. The gas station on the corner has two regular employees – one from Albania and one from India. Both are fluent in English but, if they are on the phone or a friend stops by, it is back to their mother tongue and I haven’t a clue to what they are saying.

        And I like it.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 March 10
          jackie31337 permalink

          I loved living in Austin and hearing people switch back and forth between English and Spanish within the same sentence. My daughter and I both do that with Finnish when we can’t immediately think of a good English word for the concept we have in mind. It only works when speaking with other bilingual speakers though.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          Karmyn permalink

          My father worked in road construction for years. Many of their workers were Mexican. Dad picked up enough to get by, but he observed that many of the workers actually spoke different dialects of Spanish. You had Tex-Mex, Border Spanish, and regular Mexican Spanish. Add in Natives from the nearby Reservation and you had people who could use the same word to mean five different things.
          And don’t get me started on the guy who was into black magic and kept a dead snake in the fridge.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 10
        Oh-Steve permalink

        Dammit.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10

        Say it isn’t so!!! I’m getting more stupider by proxy.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        I suddenly feel slightly better about where I live.

        That and it’s a glorious 67 degrees outside right now.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 10

          We had 65 and I got a sunburn the other day. However, the next day it snowed for the first time this year.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10
          CapnMac permalink

          71º at 1125 this morning, if at 65%RH

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 10
        Meredith permalink

        Hmmm, I’m suprised. I would have guessed West or East Coast, honestly.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 10
      mudslicker permalink

      Tanks McNamara…

      Adores: 0
  17. 2010 March 10
    Hartster permalink

    There’s nothing wrong with being Bi-lingual. I am so good with languages, I’ve been called a cunning linguist….

    But seriously, when I went to high school in the Dark Days, I took two years of French because it was the language to take, even though I went to a school where English really was a second language and most everybody spoke Spanish. (Yes, they offered Spanish as well. No, don’t ask why I didn’t take Spanish for what would have been an easy ‘A’.)

    I did learn (almost wrote ‘picked up’) some Spanish. My greatest accomplishment probably has been walking into a McDonald’s in Cancun and ordering: “Numero uno, por favor” and walking out with a Big Mac extra value meal. How do you feel about that, Craigslist poster?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 March 10
      Windrose permalink

      Hartster, I took Spanish in Grade School because that was all that was offered, so in High School I took German. But between the years of Spanish and living in So. Cal, I knew enough Spanish to ask customers at the fast food restaurant where I worked if they wanted their Yumbo Yacks con queso. 8)

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10
        Camille permalink

        Jummy!

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        You must have worked at that kosher Mongolian place – Yak in the Lox

        Adores: 11
        • 2010 March 10
          Windrose permalink

          Got it in one, Sarajean!

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 10
        mudslicker permalink

        Oh..you worked at Yack in the Vox

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 10
          Windrose permalink

          I did. I worked in Goleta, Canoga Park, El Cajon, and Ramona. I even spent one shift on loan to the Santa Barbara store. And I did some OT in the clown suit, handing out balloons to kiddies. As mascot outfits go, it wasn’t bad. Just a regular clown suit, but a huge plastic bubble for the head. Poorly ventilated, and difficult to see out of. Headaches were a natural hazard of that gig.

          Adores: 1
  18. 2010 March 10
    Colleen in MA permalink

    I hope this guy gets stopped at every random airport security search he ever encounters.

    Adores: 11
  19. 2010 March 10
    Oh-Steve permalink

    The irony of all of this is that more employers have to accomodate stupidity and ignorance than do employers that have to accomodate multi-lingual persons making an honest effort to conform to their respective situations. Jackassery seems to be the order of the day. What an ignoramus.

    *I generally try to stay away from attacking people’s character, but in this case I’ll make an exception.

    **This comment seems to be very grammatically poor, so feel free to red pen it while I try to catch a little shut eye between calls.

    Adores: 1
  20. 2010 March 10
    Lola permalink

    I don’t know if it was intended, but I keep hearing the post title in Manuel’s (“he’s from Barcelona”) accent.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 10

      Oh, yes, me, too. “There is too much butter on those trays!”

      But my pedant neurological condition insists that I point out that when qué is being used in a question, it is supposed to pick up an accent mark. Que with no accent mark is sort of a relative pronoun: Son los mosquitos que me molestan; but ¿Qué quieres en tus tacos?.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 10
        CapnMac permalink

        Probably right up there where my ear is attuned to the Mexican habit of using “Como” where “Que” (or Qué) might be by an Iberian.

        But I may have a bit more exposure to various New World pecadillos with Old World languages.

        Which has to include attempting to assist a person from France communicate with an Acadian (“cajun”) and the nearby Québécois only complicated matters. Passers-by probably assumed we were some sort of street-perfomance installation. Unless it was Sparky, who would have had to hasten off to greater mental analgesia, higher brain functions being broken.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 10

        Damn it.

        Adores: 2
  21. 2010 March 10

    *shows up for interview* *Akward Aardvark ensues*
    Oh. So, uuuuhh, I guess I read your ad wrong. Oh, come on, I was only a couple of letters off! No, don’t call security, I’ll find my way out. No, I’m not available for parties.

    Adores: 5
  22. 2010 March 10
    CapnMac permalink

    Iam on a quest

    Pet food can spontaneously demonstrate not only volition but compulsion to seek out the unseek-able?

    C M Dux? Iam B at quest-end, n’est ce pas?

    Wakarimasu bakka gaijin

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 10
      Dan permalink

      This would appear relevant (and dear lord, when I first read it, I never thought it would appear relevant to ANYTHING):

      The Kitty’s Journey: Joseph Campbell and Friskies

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 March 10

        Oh.My.Goodness.

        It’s always going to come back to CatMath, isn’t it?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 March 10
          Meredith permalink

          Cat Math is rule 67!!! Congrats on a new internet rule, folks!

          Rule 67: If, by SOME miracle, something on the internet does NOT involve rule 34, it WILL involve Cat Math.

          Rule 68: Rule 34 most likely applies to rule 67 by this time.

          Adores: 7
      • 2010 March 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        Oh. My. Unspecified-deity.

        That was…different.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10
        mudslicker permalink

        I loved it, but I missed the part where Heracatkles was supposed to clean out the Augean Litter Boxes.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 March 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          I would like to see him slay the Nymean Not.A.Tiger.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 11

        thank you so much for that link. I’ll never look at a can of Friskies the same way again.

        Adores: 0
  23. 2010 March 10
    BigUncleJohn permalink

    Does speaking with a forked tongue make one bilingual? If so, then I’m over qualified.

    Adores: 2
  24. 2010 March 10
    Charlene permalink

    We once got a reply like this when we listed a job online. This despite the job being located in a bilingual neighbourhood…in Canada…and the ability to speak both French and English being a legal requirement of the position. And yes, the guy told us to GET OUT OF AMERICA, capslock as in original.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      That’s so sad. Everyone knows Canada is part of Belgium. See, they are they same color on my map!
      *Holds up child’s placemat from restaurant covered in crayon scrawls*
      Look, I drew a pony!

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 March 10
        penguin permalink

        Someone once called information (way back in the old days of landlines and telephone books) to get a phone number in New Mexico. The operator informed him that they only had U.S. phone numbers.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 10

          I lived in New Mexico for a little while. When I called my credit card company to give them the change of address, they told me to make sure to leave time for international mail, and to make sure that I was paying my credit card bill in American dollars.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 11

          please, please tell me you’re making that up. You are, aren’t you? Please?
          No, I guess you’re not
          *headdesk*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 11
          Yancy permalink

          I’m a born-and-raised New Mexican. I’ve lost count of how many stories I’ve heard along this vein. Probably my favorite is when a resident of Albuquerque called to request tickets to Olympics competitions when they were held in Atlanta. The operator told the New Mexican that he would have to go through his country’s (Mexico) consulate or embassy. The New Mexican asked to speak to the operator’s supervisor, who repeated what the operator said. The next day one of our long-serving Congressmen took the floor of his house (don’t remember if it was Senate or HR, maybe even joint session) and gave a geography/history lesson of the Southwest.

          I did an internship for IBM in California and I studied for a year in Montana. Ran into similar problems in both places. It’s really eye-opening how many people insist NM is not one of the 50. Some times we’ll be watching national news and they’ll mention “Texas and Arizona”. I guess there’s this huge empty space between the two.

          Speaking of languages, people have insisted that residents in NM speak English, the first European language brought here. They’re unaware that NM had Spanish settlers nearly 200 years before the United States rebelled against Britain.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 11

          Yancy, I think there’s a huge empty space between people’s ears.

          Adores: 2
  25. 2010 March 10
    sarajean80 permalink

    Yay, I filled in all the comment boxes! It’s a row of little yawning Fireflies ♥

    Adores: 1
  26. 2010 March 10

    Yeah! This is America! Speak the language of the land!

    … Osiyo, dohitsu?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 10
      Meredith permalink

      Qu’est-ce que c’est?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 10

        Tsalagi. 😀

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 11

          just one of the many, many languages that were in the *original* America … 🙂

          Adores: 1
  27. 2010 March 10
    Astro permalink

    Well, this is all fine and dandy for those “real Americans” the Republicans speak of, but us “fake Americans” in “urban centers (those areas with a population density allowing you to see your neighbor’s house)”, we need to be bi-lingual thanks to the influx into U.S. of the MexiCanadians.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 10
      penguin permalink

      I had a call today from a Canadian who now lives in Mexico. Would he be a MexiCanadian or a CanaMexican? Probably neither. He had a “Canadian” and not a “French Canadian” accent and said he lived in an area with a whole bunch of ex-pats so I am guessing his French and Spanish are minimal.

      Adores: 0
  28. 2010 March 10
    Windrose permalink

    Perfect! There’s only one ad up top, and it’s for Bilingual Spanish Jobs! Wish we could send the link to Sparky!

    Adores: 1
  29. 2010 March 10
    Lindsey permalink

    I love the people who believe we should only speak English in the US when they can’t speak it themselves! I wonder what they will think in 30 years when white people will be the minorities. Either way, it makes me think of this protest sign from another favorite site: http://godhatesprotesters.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/respect-are-country.jpg

    Adores: 0
  30. 2010 March 10
    christina permalink

    You know, I have a problem with all this “Bi-lingual” business too. I mean, what was the point of me spending all that time in highschool learning to swear fluently in several different languages* only to find out that prospective employers see this not as “ambitious” but rather as a risk not worth taking?

    *not actually true, but I sure did try. I’d list my accomplishments but alas, I never learned to spell any of them.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 10
      BigUncleJohn permalink

      There is really only one word you need to learn…
      merde
      Scheiße
      たわごと
      gówno
      дерьмо

      Its truly multipurpose, multitasking, and bridges all cultures. Because, yeah, its all that.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 10
        christina permalink

        Yep, got those. Youtube “German mtv Scheiße (or scheize)” for proof that American tv isn’t the wierdest out there.
        Again, disregard my spelling, but bakka is pretty universal, and “manga ma tugats” is fun, but my favorite semi-cuss comes from the movie Killing Zoe: “Sus ma taub…Dr. Seuss ma taub!”
        And now I believe that I have just put more swear words in this comment than I have ever used in total on the internet. Not that I don’t have a colorful vocabulary, I just prefer to feign innocence online.

        Adores: 1
  31. 2010 March 10
    Onna permalink

    My first thought upon seeing this guy rant about English being the language of the land was this comic:

    http://xkcd.com/84/

    By the way, while some states have official languages, the US has no federal official language.

    Adores: 2
  32. 2010 March 10
    penguin permalink

    Am I the only one who has a desire to go to Taco Bell and take along a rat posing as a dog? And I don’t even like Taco Bell.

    (No offense to chiuaua lovers – I’m just a cat person)

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 10
      Windrose permalink

      Ahem. Chihuahua. Chi-who-ah-who-ah.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 11
        christina permalink

        That is the proper pronounciation in my house, but we spell it “cha-hoo-a-hoo-a 🙂

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 11
        penguin permalink

        r-a-t

        sorry. i will hang my head in shame and slink off now

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 11

          lmao I’m with you penguin … heeheh

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 11
        CapnMac permalink

        Growing up, “Chi-who-ah-who-ah” is how we knew you meant the mexican state/province, and not a dog breed.

        Adores: 1
  33. 2010 March 10
    Windrose permalink

    Lest I forget, and forever hang my head in shame, Bavec, please come to the office and get your card punched! Time to do the Dance Of Joy! Oh, wait, that’s Balki.

    Adores: 1
  34. 2010 March 11
    informavorette permalink

    Here in Europe, we know that there must be some Merkins who aren’t undereducated, chauvinistic, culturally ignorant and fat, but every time we see a self-righteous dork proselytize nation-wide ignorance “because we don’t need this* here in the greatest country of all the world**” we seriously consider putting the civilized American on the ICUN list of endangered species.

    *”this” could be anything from evolution theory to real cheese (the kind which doesn’t come out of a bottle) – or learning a second language, as we can see in the gorgeous specimen you uncovered.
    ** hearing such a statement in an unofficial context, we just laugh out loud, mocking the utterer in a language of our choice – possibly English, as we cannot get a job here without fluent English.
    In an official context, it is something else altogether. If a German teacher told his pupils that Germany (or any other country) is greater than the rest of the world, he’d be committing professional suicide.

    This kind of suckery may be new to you, but it is fairly well known in the rest of the world. The occasion with the biggest cultural impact was when LiveJournal user scottishtiger complained about the existence of a LiveJournal page written in an language he mistook for Albanian. It was actually Russian.

    The mistake in itself is a good example of why we consider Americans philistine – Russian is written in Cyrillic, while Albanian uses the Latin alphabet, so you don’t have to know a single word of any of the languages to be able to distinguish between them. But then he posted the epic comment:

    “Because? It’s LIVEJOURNAL. An American website. Not an albanian; (#*!@()! site.

    Plus, being an American means that the rest of the world should have to cater to me. But that’s just mypointofview.”

    [source: http://onepamop.livejournal.com/240305.html?thread=2071473#t2071473%5D.

    Since then, Russian Internet slang (which existed before this watershed event) is generally referred to as “олбанский” (a corrupted form of the word for “Albanian”). Originally this word was just a highly successful meme, but meanwhile it has entered mainstream language, even being used in print press discussion of slang. I haven’t read any official research on Russian linguistics, but I don’t doubt the term is accepted there as well.

    The CL poster doesn’t appreciate how lucky he is, being born in a country where he doesn’t have to learn a separate slang just to be able to read blogs.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 12
      Dan permalink

      Oddly enough, isn’t LiveJournal now owned by a Russian company?

      Adores: 1
  35. 2010 March 12
    YeaaDisBxtchh permalink

    wtf? this is a lil racial to me.
    why dont you get up and and actually go look for a job.
    or better yet go learn some spanish ;]

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 12

      Not so clear on the concept of You Suck at Craigslist, are you, Bxtchh?

      Adores: 2

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. English Are Hard

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.