Square 7×5 Rug – $50
Beautiful floral design
My, that certainly is a lovely square 7 x 5 rug.
Aerial Rug – $75
8×5 Aerial Rug! Origianlly $300. Please email me if intrested. Thanks,
Clearly, the aerial rug has made a tight bank turn to the left and the talking parrot that was riding it has fallen off. Luckily, we have a replacement.
Thanks, Elissa and Crystal!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
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| 2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all! […] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […] | |
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If I buy the Aerial rug, does it come with Jasmine? Or better yet, Aladdin!! Or does it come with an annoying singing fish-person? I would like to know because I’ll pass if it comes with princesses.
And is that cat-math square? Or poker square? I need to make sure it will fit and I always get the conversions messed up.
For the life of me, I cannot remember the “clean” lyrics to A Whole New World ever since I recorded this version 11 years ago. (I have no idea who the chin people are, but I think they rock!)
7×5 what? Inches? Meters? Monkeys?
Wait! I have it!
7 falling parrots x 5 remakes of Aladdin’s flying carpet=a lot of CL fail.
Are you a math or science teacher? I always got scolded for forgetting the unit part of the answers. My answers probably would have made more sense in falling parrots and monkeys.
And now for my favorite clean joke about units EVER:
Newton, Pascal, and Einstein are playing Hide and Go seek in Heaven. Einstein is counting to 10 and Pascal hides while Newton just draws a 1 meter by 1 meter box around where he is standing. When Einstein opens his eyes and says “I found you Newton! You were supposed to hide! You’re out!” Newton replies “No I’m not, I’m one Newton per square meter, Pascal is out!”
Now that I have shown my geek colors, I will incude a joke I thought of in the shower one day and use to break the ice on first dates:
What did the police arrest Hamlet for?
Felonious Polonius Assault
If they don’t get it I know I am dating the wrong guy.
If it’s nerd jokes we’re doing, then I’ve got one for you:
An infinite number of math professors walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one orders a quarter of a beer, the fourth one orders an eighth of a beer; the bartender turns to them and says, “You’re all idiots,” and pours them two beers.
Love it! That will go into my repertoire.
Bwaaah….!
Sexyfingers, that joke was a snot buster.
Alas, I have never met a bartender who could have figured that out. Must have been in a Cambridge pub.
René Descartes walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks, “how about a Bacontini?”
René answers, “I think not.” Then, poof, René disappears.
This must be casual nerd Friday.
BUJ…..AWESOME!!!
*feeling the need to graffiti Jim Morrison’s grave*
Ok, long one for the Irish, but not geeky:
A man walks into a bar, sits down and waits for the waitress. She eventually gets around to him and asks for his order; and he orders 3 beers.
He eventually finishes the beers and when the waitress is back around again, he orders three more. This goes on all night.
Curious the waitress eventually approaches and askes, “Why do you keep ordering your beers in threes?”
He replies, “I’m originally from Ireland, and back in my home town I used to always go drinking with my two brothers. But, I eventually left home to find work. On the last day there I went drinking with my brothers and we promised to always order drinks as if we were all there.”
The waitress likes the story and brings him 3 more beers.
From then on, every few nights the man would come in and drink with his brothers by ordering the three beers.
A few months later he comes in and waitress sees him and heads right over, “Let me guess, three beers as usual?”
“No, today I need only 2 beers.”
The waitress is shocked, “Oh my, I’m so sorry for your loss. Do you want to talk about it?”
The man smiles and says, “Oh no, you misunderstand. I gave up drinking for lent.”
In the late 1880s, my undergraduate institution – known for mathematics and science – wired the math building for electricity. This was before the days of wiring codes, and small fires broke out every now and again if lights were left on too long. As a precaution, the school placed buckets outside of each professor’s door filled with water.
One night, one of the mathematicians was working late in the office when a fire broke out. He immediately grabbed the bucket and put the fire out. He replaced the bucket and left for the night, making a note to refill the bucket in the morning.
The next morning, consumed by a proof he was mulling over, he went right to work, neglecting to refill the bucket. Working late yet again, another small fire broke out.
The mathematician grabbed the bucket, ran to the washroom, and refilled the bucket. Placing the bucket outside his door, he stated, “This reduces to the previous case,” and left the building – which promptly burned to the ground.
“This must be casual nerd Friday.”
No, it’s causal Friday: every thing we do today has to have an effect. 😛
Always remember, alcohol and calculus do not mix.
NEVER drink and derive!
A roman Centurion walks into a bar, and says “I’d like a dry Martinus…”
The bartender replies, “Don’t you mean martinii?”
Centurion answers, “If I’d wanted two, I’d have ordered two!”
Well, you don’t know what we can find (on Craigslist)
Why don’t you come with me little girl (heh heh heh)
On an aerial rug ride (“magic carpet” is so last year)
Well, you don’t know what we can see (because you need to keep your eyes shut)
Why don’t you tell your dreams to me (so I can pretend to care)
Fantasy will set you free (if the 90 degree angle of this carpet doesn’t)
Close your eyes girl (and don’t watch as you fall)
Look inside girl (because it’s a better view than plummeting to your death)
Let the sound take you away (just don’t scream too loudly!)
I like to dream, yes yes, right between my sound machine
On a cloud of sound I drift in the night
Any place it goes is right
Goes far, flies near, to the stars away from here
You don’t really need a flying carpet according to the beginning lyrics. I say you just need Acid.
I thought that they were angels,
But to my surprise,
We climbed aboard their aerial rug
And headed for the skies…
What? It wasn’t an aerial rug?
In space, no one can hear you scream so I hope this is a NASA rug.
That second one is clearly a lemon. Who wants an aerial rug that only flies sideways? Plus, that pattern more than just a little busy for my taste (and I like intricate patterns); it rather does my head in.
On the other hand, that first one will go nicely under yesterday’s poker table for 8 that seats 6 | for 6 that seats 8 | 42 (default answer to life, the universe, and everything).
Go over to google and type in: “answer to life the universe and everything”.
If you’ve already done this, go do it again.
That is most excellent. Somewhere, Douglas Adams is smiling.
He’s hanging with the Great Green Arkleseizure.
And in the restaurant at the end of the universe, probably. I suspect that he gets his tab comped there.
He was one Hoopy Frood who always knew where his towel was. <3
“42”
Sometimes I think the Vogons are way over due. 8/
Actually, Windrose, it may well be that the Vogons have dropped doing poetry and are in fact posting these ads on CL instead. They will take us over from within …
Ugh, what a thought. I need a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster to clear that out of my head.
it’s extra cool that this is the result you get because of their calculator function!
Whoever sees The Heart of Gold first, be sure to flag it down… and make sure Zaphod, Trillian, et. al. have enough room for a few billion passengers…
Where’s Topper? After her falling out with Bacontini I think I know of a nice rug I can set her up with…
Aside from the math challenged description, the floral rug looks to be quite pretty. At least that teeny little area.
Now my husband, on the other hand, would find the “aerial” rug quite to his taste. I just don’t care for carpet that you can lose large items in. “Honey, have you seen the cat lately?” And I don’t know what “aerial” of the floor we could put it.
The first rug looks really dirty with that lighting. It could just be really dirty. It’s been a bad bad rug.
I think they’re just following the first rule of putting a picture on CL: If you can photograph it in a flattering, attractive fashion, don’t use that picture. Use what everyone else would consider “practice shots.” Frankly, I’m surprised it wasn’t photographed outside, with lawn ornaments or broken autos in the background.
I think I would have been more interested if they had included a garden gnome and a flamingo in the picture. I believe some day the garden gnomes and the flamingos will have a bloody war on a lawn in Florida. Garden gnomes are just creepy. I’ll cheer for the flamingos.
Have you ever been “flamingoed”?
On your birthday a bunch of “friends” cover your front lawn with plastic flamingos. Some might wear festive party wear.
There are even companies that will do it and collect the flamingos afterwards. (Personally I would want to keep them so I could return the “gift” the next year.)
Well… I was spanked with a flamingo once.
What? Don’t judge me.
Real or plastic?
One of my parents’ neighbors/father of a childhood friend/person with the requisite sense of humor had this done to him on his 50th birthday. They left 50 on his lawn.
My former neighbor only had two ornaments on his lawn from the 1960’s onward, a creepy lawn gnome and a cute cement donkey.
When he passed away, his kids gave us the lawn ornaments.
I sanded down the donkey, gave it a new paint job. It was darn heavy- at least 50 lbs or more.
Someone stole the donkey.
The creepy lawn gnome is still there. I’ve actually tried giving it away, but it gets returned to me. I wish someone would steal it. (it would make a good companion for Depressey). One day I’ll try to destroy it or bury it.
Would you call the lawn ornament theft culprit an “ass-grabber?”
Maybe the aerial rug does barrel roles and occasionally gets in dog fights with other flying rugs. It defeats them by turning the full power of its ugliness on them. It is still haunted by the Red Baron, and by Red Baron I mean the pizza.
Do a barrel roll!
Bacontini, will you be my Valentine? I don’t have one and I am so lonely. The only thing that could keep us apart is that I am a vegetarian.
Of course Bacontini be your Valentine. In fact, Bacontini is Valentine to all ladies who need da Valentine! Bacontini, he has a big heart, and dere is plenty of Bacontini to go around!
Yes ladies, Bacontini is here for you during de holiday of love.
(Also, due to de poor economy and de fact dat Bacontini is a cocktail, he may not be able to provide de customary gifts. For dis, Bacontini appologize in advance.)
Is Bacontini available in Chocolate-dipped Bacon http://www.ehow.com/how_5573615_make-chocolate-dipped-bacon.html ? Because if you are Chocolate-dipped Bacontini on Valentine’s Day, I think the ladies will be happy enough without the “customary gifts.”
Bacontini like de way dis lady tinks! Bacontini will coat himself down in de most rich, German milk-chocolate he can find!
For de whole weekend, Bacontini will become: Chocolate Valentine Bacontini! Yes, even… no especially when he is covered in chocolate, Bacontini is here for da ladies!
I was thinking more like a Bacon Alarm Clock:
http://www.seriouseats.com/2008/07/wake-n-bacon-alarm-clock-the-best-sleepending.html
Lara, this might work for you. You can have the chocolate part and the alcohol part, but just enjoy the company of the bacon.
Ok, where’s SilvaNoir? We totally need a Valentine’s day drawing of “Hangin wit Bacon.”
Princess Luceval, you are my new best friend. I am sending this link to everyone I know.
I am totally down with that Lola. Thank you Bacontini, you have made me so happy. and possibly drunk.
Well, if you’re going to wake up to bacon, you might as well wear it too:
http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/bacon-bra-01.jpg
Hmm, TM, maybe it’s because the bacon is raw, and also because I’m not a guy, but that is easily one of the only times I am not interested in eating bacon at all.
I mean, if you’re going to wear bacon, be out (of doors) and proud about it! Wear a bacon suit, like these kids: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/06/25/the-bacon-brothers/
There you are, you heartbreaker!
*Topper enters,radiating green fury like the Hulk*
Philanderer! I should have known you would be hanging out with your…your…your electronic floozies!
*weeping* They were right about you! I’m going back home to Mother’s garage!
*slams door. Reopens.* Oh, I’m having twin barstools and they’re yours. See you in Family Court.
*door slams again, rattling picture of cats playing poker.*
Bacontini guesses he be sleeping on de couch for de weekend.
Would a fakin’ bacon martini be acceptable?
You speak of Bacontini’s twin nemesis: Not.A.Bacontini.
Do not let him fool you with his healthy bacon alternative, dere is no substitute for de real Bacontini!
Quiet Bacontini! You’re always keeping me down, but not today!
They are calling for me, the healthier yet less bacony beverage. You would have them grow soft on your fattening lies, and your greasy promises. But no longer! Fakintini will have his day!
*Slides up beside Fakintini*
Well, hello there, handsome.
wow, that got freaky while i was away. Bacon is a FOOD, People!!!!! A deliciously crunchy salty flavoursome bacon-y food…… and there is no food in the western world that can not be improved with the addition of bacon. But clothing? Even Angelina wearing this wouldn’t do it for me. Seriously – ewwww.
Ohh, plot twist!
I’m gonna go get some popcorn, this looks like it could get good.
LOL. I need a Lionel cheese ball and some Ritz to go with those movie snacks.
I knew there’d be an evil twin. There’s always an evil twin.
Next plot twist needs to involve amnesia, I’m thinking.
Next time on “The Bold and the Bacontini”:
Fakintini: “Listen, Bacontini, you screwed it up with Topper. She can make her own choices, and it isn’t you!”
Bacontini: “Did you tell her though? Did you tell her that you’re really my brother?! Maybe I should tell her first.”
Fakintini: “You wouldn’t dare!”
*Scene change*
Mudslicker: “Sarajean, you need to get help. You can’t keep downing Snarks every time things go bad for you. You’re going to end up just like Taco.”
Sarajean: “You’re not my mother! I can handle the Snark, so mind your own buisness!”
*Scene change*
Random, Mostly Handsome Doctor: “I was able to save her life, but the areas of the brain that control memory may have been affected. I’m afraid that it’s likely that Camille will have amnesia. Oh, and, she’ll never walk again. Plus she’ll be scarred for life. And, most likely she’ll never wake from the coma.”
Lola: “Well yeah, thanks for uh… saving her then. I’m sure the quality of life will be just peachy.”
*Dramatic music while fading to black*
Aww, why do I always end up being the raging snarkaholic?
Can I at least get an eyepatch? I look rather dashing in an eyepatch.
At least you weren’t the one being referenced as having a snark overdose.
I can be such a jerk sometimes.
And at least you’re not comatose. Thanks a bunch, Taco.
Had to do it to somebody, and GrahamT isn’t around to torment.
Does someone have too much time on their sexyfingers*? Idle sexyfingers are the devil’s workshop…
*This is not a complaint. I just felt the need to say “sexyfingers”.
I would just like to say, in light of the upcoming holiday, I love everyone of you. You are all my kind of weird.
*I am out of snark today, so sincere will have to do.
I’m all out of snark,
I can’t joke without it,
I’ve waited so long,
To reach the Don’t Suck box!
I’m all out of snark,
What am I without it?
It can’t be too late,
To be drmk’s pick!
What will she pick today?
Oh what will she pick today?
What will she pick today?
Who will she pick today?
+100’s if I could windrose, excellent work.
Sadly I am still rather snarkless as this damn cold just wont quit, so if anyone has any spare snark please feel free to post of for me.
Actually, in case SilvaNoir is busy/has better things to do, I’m going to dust off my rusty drawing skills and give “Hangin wit Bacon” a try.
It won’t be of Silva caliber, but I’ll see what I can bang together.
Hmmm, where are my crayons…
Well, I’ve got a rough idea panel drawn. I’ll see if I can get it scanned in and posted somewhere because the idea is good, even if the quality is not. I’ll have to wait until I have access to my drawing kit before I can attempt to do the actual picture.
I think it’s somewhere in the basement *sigh*.
Victor! Have you not finished with the creature yet? Is it alive?
Wait, where are you going? I was gonna make espresso….
Aww, that makes me seem snobby. I’m really not. I was doing Spring cleaning today. My house is now clean and spring-free.
I wouldn’t even know where to begin with a bacon themed soap opera. ^_^;
Crayons are fun though… This is very old art and a gallery I don’t use anymore but this was drawn in marker, colored with crayons: http://www.elfwood.com/~charlene/Merfish.2623143.html
Silva, if you have the urge to keep right on cleaning, I’ll send you my address. 8)
drmk, I love your title!! I sing that song regularly in the shower. This is a big reason I am going to be a Children’s Librarian, I can sing Sesame Street songs and most people will excuse me.
Just so everyone knows, I know this is an actual song. I just choose the Sesame Street version because that’s how I roll.
Good thing you clarified, Lara. We don’t want Huey Lewis dropping in here, all mad and yelling. 8) (back in a minute after the site throws me out)
Second rug looks like it could really tie my room together.
You get credit for a reference to The Big Lebowski.
+infinite math professors
Totally. Dude.
The second rug looks more like something from a room you would be tied up in.
White Russians for everyone!
In Soviet Russia, Russians white you?
RACIST!
Although I don’t think Al will want in on this one.
Would “Dairy-Enhanced Russian” be better?
I guess if you are lactose intolerant you would need a “Soy-Based Milk Substitute Russian” instead.
That reminds me of a super hero I created once. “Low-fat Butter Substitute Man.”
I think it was for a fusion comic.
Smokey, this ain’t ‘Nam. This is bowling – there are rules!
I want that second rug. Even if it doesn’t fly.
Tahiti Sam!
So, back when I first found this site, and was skimming through the archives, I found the Tahiti Sam post. When I went from there to the Monkey Tissue Holder, I knew two things – 1) this place rocked, and 2) there was even more to Tahiti Sam than met the eye.
http://www.hotshotscanada.com/item1383.htm
Original (undamaged, ie, with his platter) Tahiti Sam price: $40 Canadian. Craigslist price: $200.
On-topic: Took me long enough to realize that “aerial” was in fact a speeling prolbem with a turned-sideways picture, not a “definition problem” for a wall hanging. So many things wrong with these people…
Aww, Llama-nun noticed that I change the capitalization of my M a lot. I’m touched.
I’m just pleased to get a group punch two days running!
Wait… am I allowed to get a punch? I work here!
Technically the punches come from a freelance subcontractor, so I’m gonna say that yes, you can have a punch too.
Dan, for you, there’s a really special punch! 8) And congrats, everyone!
You’re touched alright TMm….hehe
Bad touch, bad touch! I need an adult!
Now, don’t be frightened little boy. Show us on this cactus where the bad person touched you.
Bad touch? Bad touch?
*cue the music*
Baby take off your poncho real slow
and take off your zapatos.
Baby take off your pantalones
Sí,
Sí,
Sí.
You can leave your sombrero on
You can leave your sombrero on
You can leave your sombrero on.
Apologies to Jose Cocker and his prickly-cactus-bad-touch-visual-aid!
A little advice from someone who should know: Stay away from that model – it is very prone to carpet burn!
That is IT. I’m finding these people, duct-taping their eyes open and forcing them to watch School House Rock.
Why can’t I get Clockwork Orange out of my head now Alex?
Haha, that’s what I had in my head, too!
Is Beethoven’s Ninth playing in the background for you too HHNF?
Eeek! Now I have to go did the Karajan D.Gramophone CD out to get the “electric” version from the movie out of my head (that, and Singing in the Rain, having watched the film on Encore a couple nights ago, my drooges).
How ultra-violent of you CM!!
The first carpet is very well-hung, and Now. A. Square, so we might be dating soon. We’ll be meeting in Times Rectangle.
I’m a square in a rectangle body 🙁
hi folks,
still feeling rather snarkless due to this hideous head cold. Yesterday is rather a blur that simply occurred in the background while I was hiding under a quilt/cat combo working my way through my third box of tissues.
I guess it’s a good thing I have it now though, since I should be fully free of it before I go away on 22nd Feb. Having said that though, right now I really could give Rudolf a run for his money in the red nose stakes.
Poor dev-a-dear! Have some tea. *Passes over a steaming cup.* The secret ingredient is love!
(And by love I mean “I made it with bourbon”)
I’ll join this tea party!
I’ll pass the … “teapot” around.
And Bacontini make sure everyone get da teabag.
What? Why you back away from Bacontini? Bacontini’s teabags are delicious, and very potent for being so small. What? Why all de laughing? Dey are! Dey make lots of tea!
Thanks sarajean, that sounds like my kinda tea
I’m in Vancouver, home of the Winter Olympics starting today, so I prefer to think of the second glorious rug as a ski jumping rug, with dreams competing in the aerials competition.
Looks more like a bobsled rug to me.
It’s making that corner pretty well.
Hope it’s got a nice waterproof backing, in that case. I hear that you have a bit less snow than usual and what is there is melting (hence the waterproof reference).
LOL oh my yes, people were walking around in t-shirts this weekend. I wonder if it’s too late to switch to summer games? 🙂
Are you as happy as I am that this has finally started? Yea! Means no more of those G.D.’d commercials that have been running for the last four years.
You all don’t get it, do you? The second rug is sideways because that’s the way it’s meant to be used. It’s an aerial rug, all right, meant to be hooked up to your set as a television aerial, for those of us decrying the cost of cable or satellite TV.
Strangely, what I get when I hooked the aerial rug up to my TV set was… a fuzzy picture. I also always get either Persian or Oriental broadcasts.
Well, I thought that CL types were hip, learn-ed, non-judgemental folks; not the sort to use epithets like “square” perjoratively about items they are trying to sell. For Shame! for Shame!
Now, since the second rug vendor failed to mention any current airworthiness certificates or FAA-sanctioned inspections (or even a maintenance & flight log), I’ve been trying to decide whether the rug is meant to reflect the King of the Faieries & Sylphs, or a misspelling of MS’s stock typeface (and, I’ve bee cross eno’ to want to fling Arial agin’ the wall a time a’ tae).
(ah, Allegro ma non troppo, un poco maesstoso; O Herbie, you do ludvig van proud . . . )
Took me long enough to figure out that 7X5 is, in actuality, a rectangle. I knew it! High school has burned out my brain!
had to relax and channel Doug a bit; of course it’s hip to be 7 x 5
7 x 5 = 42
7 x 5 + hexagon-topper + 1 = 42
Well, if we invoke the hexed topper, is it possible to have a square rectangle; but that generally requires hipness (as in the name ofthe pyramidal roof shape, only with unequal slope angles).
But, invoking such dimentions might make me ultra-violet.
(and the molto vivavce begins)
oh silly capn….designated shapes have no meaning on CL…you should know this by now.
That must be the cat math version, ’cause I get 35.
SJ, every reference DA has the characters make in Book Three do not add up to the Answer. So, 4 x 9, 5 x 7, etc., are all invoked.
But, it also could be that our late and much missed Mr Adams was an adept at the Base18 cat math, too.
Or the dolphins might just want more mackerel . . .
Fun with base4 math:
10×10 = 100
3×3 = 21
2x2x2 = 20
3x2x2x3 = 210
Yargdble! *Flees*
Ah.
Sorry,it’s been a while since I’ve work through all elebenty+ books of the trilogy.
When in doubt, it’s always safe to reference dolphins.
Today’s post title make me think of Christain Bale in a rain slicker… talk about ultra-violence! That is where my mind goes upon hearing the name Huey Lewis and the News… (the band name is correct, right?)
I can’t believe some f#^$ing a@#hole is selling my g&*!$mn rug on craigslist!
No wonder Ursula took your voice.
Silly Ariel,
Rugs are for humans! Mermaids just have scales down there. Or so I have imagined many times.
If I remember my math right, we have to the multiplication first. Therefore, the rug is 7 x 5 =$35-50 which means that the poster will give you $15 to take the rug. (That _is_ a minus sign, and not a dash, right?)
I like your logic and would like to invite you shopping the next time I go. Hopefully for better stuff though.