YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition.
Just making sure the “possibly awesome” tag doesn’t feel neglected:
Ceramic bald Lionel Richie bust wanted
I am looking for a replica of the bust made in the Lionel Richie “Hello” video.
However I’d like it to be bald as I intend to recreate that lovable afromullet with some sort of cream cheese dip at parties. Not that I have many parties, but if I had this, I might start. I’d like it to be maybe about a foot tall. It really has to look like that bust (which oddly enough doesn’t look like Lionel Richie at all) or it won’t be worth it. Hopefully it can be the same orangish-brown matte finish that is in the video but I understand making it safe for a cheesy-afro might lead to some compromises.
Please email me with a bid including a breakdown the cost of supplies and labor. I can also exchange for computer repair (mac/pc, virus/malware repair, etc) or maybe a 12″ G4 iBook,
Thank you to Curtis for informing me that terracotta would not be a good choice for a food-safe sculpture.
Take care.
You have cream cheese as your hair,
You have pimentos as your teeth;
You’re a bust of Lionel Richie,
With ceramics underneath
Tell me how to make the dip
For I haven’t got a clue
And I want to tell you so much, I love you …
Thanks, David!
You could eat his hair… ALL NIGHT LONG… ALL NIGHT…
Oh boy, you just gave me a flashback to a terrible joke from the 80s:
Q: How long was Lionel Ritchie on the toilet?
A: All night long.
Ch-ch-ch-Cheesy Head!
My first thought, too.
You know, thinking about this there is only one, albiet awesome, possibility:
A cheese version of the Fuzzy Pumper Barber Shop! You push semi-coagulated cheese food process through little plastic heads and then style the cheese however you want with chips!
We could make dozens of dollars!
Dozens? I think you could become a thousandaire with that idea!
Wow, you could make an actual Cheesybeard.
You could make one of John Lennon and make him sing “I am the Cheese Head, Goo Goo G’Joob”.
And again I say…Sarajean, I love you.
Get a room.
Got one. I’m snowed in at my job/hotel. It’s a blessing and a curse.
Who’s the new avatar?
sj80: early/mid-’90s whiteboy rapper (note: do not confuse with Vanilla Ice) named “Snow.” Had exactly one song that I can recall, called (I think) “Informer.” If it’s what I remember, it stank. One of my exes from that time liked the guy, so I may be unduly biased against him.
(corey) Snow was a one hit wonder. This was mainly due to the fact that he was arrested (for what I don’t remember) right after his album was released. (/corey)
I recall that Mtv had to subtitle his video because no one understood what he was saying (reggae influenced white boy music, think UB40 only thuggish).
In my defense, the only reason I know any of this is because I used to work nights and VH1 was one of the only channels not blasting infomercials at 2am. I did, however, nickname my youngest dog Licky-Boom-Boom, but she deserves it. She knows not to lick my face, but all bets are off when it comes to her older siblings faces.
It seemed appropriate since I live in the Baltimore/DC corridor, and it’s what we’ve been getting record breaking amounts of….Snow.
This was one of my favorite toys as a kid…until all those little holes got clogged with dried Play-doh. Not so fun after that.
Cream cheese only? What about guacamole? Bean dip? How about a cheese ball-esque mixture applied and then coated in chopped nuts? Thick hummus in a high and tight pattern? Man, I’m hungry just thinking about this.
Best line of all: “Thank you to Curtis for informing me that terracotta would not be a good choice for a food-safe sculpture.” Curtis is an awesome guy for sharing that little protip, and so is the poster for letting the rest of us know.
There are so many possibilities with this. You could have themed mullet dips.
Chive and Tomato for Christmas
Strawberry Cream Cheese For Valentine’s Day
Egg Salad Dip for Easter
OOOH Oh Oh, and a three dips in rows for Fourth of July! Blueberry Cream Cheese, White Chocolate, and Cherry Chocolate!!!
How FESTIVE!!!! WHOEVER TAKES THIS PROJECT, MAKE 2!!!!
Built like a clay…..pot….mighty, mighty, terra cotta is what it’s not….
These all sound scrumptious. Except the hummus, which I can’t even look at since my son made me watch that “Zohan” movie.
“What’s hummus?”
“It’s a very tasty, diarrhea-like substance.”
Your choice of words – “thick, in a high and tight pattern” – makes it even worse.
Oh you poor, poor thing. I can’t believe you were talked into watching that horrible movie.
Dang, I used to like hummus … until about two minutes ago. Thanks!
I still like it. A Jordanian woman I work with makes it from scratch and brings it to most work parties.
(When she doesn’t bring hummus she brings homemade baklava. I love her.)
Still loving it. A coworker brought some to a potluck, and I asked her if she made it herself. I think she misunderstood me, because she said yet. But when I asked her where she got her tahini, she gave me a blank look. Later I saw the container in which the hummus arrived. She apparently doctored it with fresh lemon and garlic. Tasty, but still not what I thought it was.
I’ll give it a few days, forget the comment, and then eat it again. All will be well.
Windrose, is tahini hard to find in your area? My local grocery only stocks it in the organic section, might check there.
Lola, be happy you live in my magnificent homeland. It was not until I moved south and had a yard to tend to that I learned that hummus is also a term for organic fertalizer that is brought to us by the humble pig.
I’ve made my own hummus, because it’s still hard to find ready-made in Finland. Much to my surprise, tahini is easily found in a lot of Finnish grocery stores these days. Go figure.
There has never been a more appropriate time to mention the Taco Hat.
It’s a shame I’m not going to do it.
Taco Hat on Nacho Cheese Mullet? A thing of true beauty.
Stuck on me
I’ve got this cheese dip down deep in my hair that I just can’t lose
Guess I’m on my way
“Hello … is it cheese you’re looking for?”
I’m never not looking for cheese. I freakin’ love cheese.
Visit me in Wisconsin, we’ve got loads of the stuff.
In fact, other than Brats and Beer, we don’t have anything else really.
A ringing endorsement for Wisconsin, you should contact the tourist board.
“Wisconsin – come for the vast nothingness, stay for the beer and bovine by-products!
Seemed to work for me.
Also: Wisconsin is full of cheese heads. Coincidence? I think NOT!
“Wisconsin: come smell our dairy air” 🙂
*googles “cheese heads”.*
Wow. That’s not really something I’d want to brag about. Or even acknowledge in public.
The sad thing is that people here proudly don their cheese hats all the time. If Wisconsin had a king, he’d be wearing a jeweled crown crafted from aged cheddar.
TACO! You’re a Sconnie? Where from?
sarajean: You may laugh at our vast nothingness (which isn’t really nothingness in the sense of Nebraska nothingness, but more like endless fucking trees), but apparently some people LIKE it! 😛 Tourism is somehow our third largest industry. Did you know that we have a state soil? It’s Antigo silt loam. We also have a state fossil, for some reason.
Right now I’m living in West Allis. It’s like Milwaukee’s freshly cleaned left armpit. 🙂
How about you Arallyn?
Hmmm…West Allis = Freshly cleaned? I always thought that was a sketchy suburb. I mean, it’s not downtown or anything, but still…I don’t have any actual memories from there, but my parents left as soon as they could because of the sketchiness.
Right now I’m wayyyyyy far away, over across the river from the Twin Cities. I grew up in Madison, though, and was born in West Allis, Milwaukee (we lived a block and a half away from Jeffrey Dahmer’s grandma :D).
FUN FACT: So for those not from Wisconsin, we have a State Peace Symbol. It’s the Mourning Dove. Simple enough, right? Well, back in the 90’s, we implemented a hunting season for them, and they’re one of the most common game birds in WI now.
West Allis underwent an overhaul fairly recently (sometime in the last 15 years) and it’s a lot better than it was, especially the south western areas of it.
But remember, even a freshly cleaned armpit is still an armpit.
I’m actually originally from South of Seattle (Olympia). I’m rather desperate to get back to that area someday. Wisconsin tought me a lot about what I really like to have in my state.
It just so happens to be mountains and ocean access.
Yeahhhh…what I want in a state is…something that’s not Wisconsin.
I’m a Dairy Science student, and even I have grown to dislike many things about this place. Or maybe it’s because I’m a Dairy Sci student that I dislike it? Who knows. I just know that I want out, to a place that’s not in the Plains or the midwest. It’s a nice enough state, but it’s not my kind of place.
I wear the cheese, it does not wear me.
Joss Whedon’d.
Just make sure you’re not looking for cheese in all the wrong places.
Yes, you’re once – twice – three times a dumbass.
Oh, what a feeling…nachos on the ceiling.
Whoever undertakes this noble endeavor: make me a bald Lionel, too. Or make me five; Christmas is coming.
In just seven days, I can make you a… bald Lionel.
I can do it in twenty minutes with a bottle of Nair. I just need to find someone named Lionel.
*Snorks Chai* Priceless Sarajean!!!
I don’t know who that’s supposed to be, but, seriously. Not.A.Lionel.
Possibly best comment ever. EVER.
Ditto…and let me say I have come back and read these comments THREE times today, and each time have laughed until I couldn’t breathe.
God love y’all!
Ow. The puns. They burns us they does.
It looks like Little Richard and Jay Leno had a love child.
(If that were possible. The idea intrigues, repulses, and disturbs me at the same time. So does the idea of this thing covered in any food product.)
My theory is that this ad was actually written by the existing Lionel bust, in the hopes of finding a mate to make miniature Lionel Richie busts. Then they would put legs on the mini-busts and they could carry out Not.A.Lionel’s evil plan for world domination. (The busts would look something like Mr. Chippy.)
Edit: Dang, not sure if that link will work or not, due to workplace censorship. Anyways, go to youtube and find The Day that Mr. Chippy Walked.
Well, now I’ve got a new nightmare to have for the next few weeks. Thanks Emesis.
Uhm, how would they know which of them was which gender, since they would both presumably look male? I mean, if it doesn’t reproduce asexually, then Tab A will probably have to go into Slot B, so to speak. But … how do they know which is which?!?
… And why do I suspect I’ll regret having asked that question?
Lola: spores. Lionel Ritchie busts reproduce asexually through spores. That’s why it’s so important to cover them with cream cheese; otherwise they grow like weeds all over the place.
Why am I not surprised that the poster doesn’t have many parties? How I long for an invitation that includes the magic phrase “eat Lionel Richie’s hair” after all the “eat my shorts” parties are so last decade!
Definitely awesome. I’d lick that.
This is an awesome idea — we have the Special Edition “Proud to be an American” Chia pet series — lets have a “Proud to be an American Dip-Head” series!!
Not.A.Lionel Ritchie — Keeps on serving all night long!
Jessica Simpson — Its always empty!
Ben Stein — Its always full!
Al Franken — only opens to the left!
The possibilities are endless!!
I used to have a Chia Einstein, so obviously my first thought was “this would make a great Chia pet.” If you grew alfalfa sprouts on it, you could eat them straight off Lionel Ritchie’s head at parties.
Chia….EINSTEIN??!!! I WANT I WANT I WANT!
Me too!! I would love to have a chia Einstein. Especially if I could grow cat grass on it because then I could watch my cat chew on Einstein’s head.
You can get your own “Chia Professor” from Amazon. They don’t actually call it Albert Einstein, but the resemblance is obvious.
Just imagine what the follow up would be if this idea takes off! Not just Lionel Ritchie – all of the Commodores! How about the Jackson 5? Plus Janet and La Toya! Prince and the Revolution! Between the jheri-curl fromullets on the dudes and the long hair on the girls, you could feed a party of 40 for days with Prince’s posse! Sheila E. at no extra charge! Act now and we’ll throw in the entire set of Morris Day and the Time! De Barge!
Well, if I find myself out of work, I’m getting me some ceramic and getting the party started.
I put in my vote for Cyndi Lauper but I would put cotton candy on her head instead. It would be the right colors. Plus I am lactose intolerant so the cheesy head, or head cheese, are not for me. Ewww, head cheese.
What about a Patric Stewart with a peel away fruit rollup scalp?
Well if you’re lactose intolerant, head cheese is just the thing for you! Meaty bits and gelatin, yum!
But a cheese head would be a bad idea.
I am vegetarian so head cheese definitely eww
Just in case anyone is wondering what the title refers to: the nacho cheese fountain.
Ahh, memories. Who could forget the hot, lumpy goodness?
Please, tell me who could and how they did it. That thing haunts my dreams.
You know, I once put chocolate into a nacho cheese fountain. It worked pretty well actually.
Scary. It’s almost like it was made for doing that.
I wonder if they should have used choc-cheese? Does that even exist?
Chocolate Cheese?
It’s a local… specialty. Yeah, let’s go with specialty.
Holy crap, chocolate cheese sounds awesome! I might have to have some shipped to my parents when I visit this summer.
That post still makes me gag…blech. Something that the Lionel head has in its favor: easy cleaning! Except for maybe the nostrils. Just try and keep those cheese-free, OK, people?
I wonder if Not.A.Lionel would be dishwasher-safe?
OMG…and just when I’d been able to purge that image.
Thanks for “regurgitating” an old WTF entry.
I really don’t know know what the hang up is on the nacho cheese fountain. If nature had thought of it, there would be wellsprings of nacho cheese, and hot springs of chocolate. Old Faithful would be filled with raspberry lemonade. And don’t act like you wouldn’t partake if I brought the nacho cheese fountain to the next YSaC party. Maybe I could modify it so it would rain salsa down on nacho cheese Lionel, while he sang a pre-recorded “Say you, Say me.”
See, I actually think they’re for the same party, the fountain and the head.
You put them opposite each other, and…
[head, to fountain]
Na- cho
Flowing with cheese in the night
The only thing that’s right
[fountain, to head]
My cheese-fro
Your head is iced, like a cake
Your look one can’t mistake
[together]
And I….
I want to share
All my chips
With you…
No other dip will do
And that guy…
Did he just doub-le diiiip???
Oh yes, you’ll always be
My… cheesy love.
Having actually worked in ceramics before, I can’t imagine anyone actually agreeing to do this for what the poster would be willing to pay. Creating a bust from pictures is both time-consuming and labor-intensive, and the idea that the end result would only be used to hold party dip would not be a real incentive to the artist.
It all this person wants is an interesting centerpiece for his infrequent parties, why doesn’t he just get some of the styrofoam heads used for styling wigs? It would look just as much like Lionel Richie.
To be fair, the poster thinks that his picture looks like Lionel Richie. You could probably bung out any old bald head in 15 minutes and they guy would think it was a perfect likeness.
Sarajean, you are missing the point! CHEESY LIONEL HEAD MUST BE OBEYED. Aesthetics and intrinsic artistic merit aside.
What are you talking abou – HYPNO-CHEESY LIONEL HEAD COMMANDS US TO OBEY.
BRAAAAAINNNNSSS-
Damn, am I at the wrong meeting again?
Obeyed? Like hell am I going to obe–Not-A-Lionel is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful cheese covered bust I’ve ever known in my life
BRAIINNNS 101 is down the hall, first door on the left.
@ Meredith: “cheese covered bust” = I’ve dated some men who would call that heaven. (Different sort of bust, of course.)
oh eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I shall never be able to look at CheezWiz the same way again.
Lola, you are awesome.
this may be your old art teacher who didn’t know how to turn on the kiln, sarajean. She has finally finished her gossip mags and realized she really wants to eat cheese off of Not.A.Lionel’s head. Since she can’t do anything with the kiln herself (“why does everything I do blow up? I thought it was supposed to be bubbly!”) she is looking for some poor schmuck to do it for her. Maybe she should check with the M&M science fair lady, she might have a cermaic’s class masterpiece that was displayed at little Timothea’s school.
Where’s Bacontini? Let’s get this party started!
Bacontini is here for da party! C’mon ladies, who dance wit Bacontini? Yes, we party, we drink da Bacontini, and we eat da hair from my good friend Not-A-Lionel!
Yes, a fine party we be having!
Save me some of the babes, Bacontini.
*squee!*
It’s my two favorite high cholesterol hearthrobs!
Bacontini rather surprised Lando hasn’t shown up to N.A. Lionel’s party. Bacontini would think dat lando wouldn’t want to miss a chance to have some strong drinks, slow dances, and fast cheese.
Maybe he ran out of colt .45.
Hey, that belongs in —
A Cheese House,
It’s mighty mighty,
Just letting the dip hang out!
I wasn’t going to bother visiting today, got germs again and sick of blowing my nose. But I figured a smile would help me feel better.
So here I am and my first thought was “why would you want to eat cheese off anyone’s head no matter who?” and then I started on the comments, hoping for that smile.
Sorry, did I say smile? You lot have me crying with laughter here with all the puns and song versions. Between blowing the nose and wiping the eyes I’m getting through this box of tissues like you wouldn’t believe.
Thanks all and +100’s for making me feel a little less crappy.
*passes dev cuppa and new box of kleenex*
Glad you came by. This site has helped me through many a crap day. Happy to do the same for you, and when you’re better, you can jump back in to the snark pool. 🙂
Thanks Lola, I needed a fresh box. Damn germs, this is the 3rd lot I’ve had in as many months, think I need a break.
But on the plus side, I have a break planned luckily. I’ll be hiding away in the middle of Sherwood Forest for 5 days, starting 22nd Feb.
Oooh, will you be wearing green and robbing carriages? I wish I got to go on outlaw holidays; it would be a change to come back from a vacation with more money than I left with.
I wish I was going to come back with more money, that sounds like the best holiday ever, but green doesn’t really suit me, and you don’t get too many carriages driving around these days, so no.
I will however be lounging in a jacuzzi with a book, and hopefully a man refilling my wine glass at regular intervals.
Lola, next tee shirt? YSaC — Swimming With The Snarks.
I like that Windrose! My art skills leave a little to be desired, tho.
Drat. If only there were a regular commenter with artistic skills good enough to maybe have posted their art here a couple times. 8)
I like the one from yesterday, “I Jumped the Snark at YSaC!”
Or something like that.
Well whether we’re swimming with Snarks, diving in the Snark pool, or just jumping the Snark, we need someone to draw us a snark/shark, right?
Hmm, you know I’m sure I saw an artist lurking around here the other day.
It’s quite the artistic challenge to pictorally capture the essence of “snark”. I think that’s where the idea needs to start.
Either that or just draw the word “Snark” in great big goofy bubble letters and have somebody jumping over it.
Either way.
Hence my suggestion of a snark shark. Tsk tsk TM SF, shame on you, that just shows how well you read my post.
*goes off to sulk in the corner*
I read it, I was just uncertain on how you planned to do this combining of snark and shark. I’m still stuck on how to picture “snark”, let alone combine it with something.
Perhaps if you made me a diagram, or a puppet show?
Actually I was sort of picturing a shark with a snarky expression, but then I’m no artist so what that would actually look like I’m not sure.
Silva, where are you?
Maybe we should head over to her deviant page and harass her?
A Snark would be tough to draw — it would have to be relentlessly pop-culture-informed and obviously willing to kill its own joke.
While a smart putdown is wit; a cheap putdown followed by “Ha.” is snark. Cynical wit, is a bit like a snark, but more curmudgeonly and less puerile.
So, if we drew a putdown, it would end up as Not.A.Snark, as everyone could see the difference.
Nurse says I need to go take my medication now. TTFN.
Don’t forget your corey cred!
*Tosses BUJ a CC*
Would we be violating trademarks or copyrights if we (and I mean Silva) drew a shark with a Snark Mark on the fin?
I can’t believe you guys are wasting all this energy hunting for a snark.
That is so 1874.
Sorry, I can’t get online early every day. Sometimes I have other things to do ^_^;
I already drew a jumping-the-shark picture years ago. A friend of mine used the phrase way too much.
http://silvanoir.deviantart.com/art/SW-jump-the-shark-2600222
He no longer says it, and we’re still good friends. Haha.
Silva, that is awesome! Not only are you talented, but omniscient as well! I think you need to have the jumper on a motorcycle, Fonzi style. Here is a picture of a motorcycle for reference;)
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3434
You have my sincerest wishes for a speedy recovery, dear develish. Now go get Not-A-Lionel some legs so I can dance on the ceiling.
Bacontini is that you?
That guy will do anything to get the ladies attention.
Actually, Bacontini is not moonlighting as da terra cotta head. Sure, Bacontini did some crazy tings in his youth, but on dis day he is only, Bacontini.
However, for da ladies Bacontini would gladly don such a guise.
Remember the movie “Thing”. Remember the part where the head grows spider legs.
Yeah, now picture the clay bust of Lionel Richie scurrying around on these legs with a thousand smaller ones following it, with them singing “All Night Long.”
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go cower under my desk.
Save some space for me would you
I was going to take you up on the Wisconsin visit, but I don’t think I want to anymore….
It seems to me that you’ve thought way too much about this, TM SF.
Lindsey, pithy works for you! Come get your card punched, and have some dip.
Yet another reason why friends don’t let friends Craigslist stoned.
Not having anything witty or original to contribute, I must say that this has so far spurred the best comments of any posting I’ve seen here. The day, she is still young and tender. On this day a YSaC legend is born. We shall call him…Not. A. Lionel.
Hear, hear.
Abso-frikin-lootely!!
I’m still hoping Silva shows up with the shark/snark. My Not.A.Lion t-shirt art is really awesome.
By the way, I discovered something today purely by chance. My germ fuddled brain opened Safari instead on Chrome today for some reason, and guess what? I’m not having any issues with +1’s disappearing etc.
I just opened the site in Chrome (which I normally use) and after the first refresh they’d all gone again. guess it’s some kind of compatibility issue somewhere between this site and Chrome.
Odd though as I’ve only been getting it for the last few weeks, and I’ve been using Chrome for months.
I’d noticed that too. Explorer seems to work fine, but Chrome is having all kinds of weird issues.
I don’t use IE any more unless I’m forced to, too slow loading, crashes too frequently etc. I’ve tried Firefox too and I’m not that impressed with that either to be honest.
That’s why I tried Safari for Windows and Chrome as alternatives, and in most cases both do the job far better and faster than IE and firefox.
I’ve used Chrome more though, mainly because I prefer how it looks. This is the first time I’ve had any real issues with it though, so maybe I’ll swap to Safari for a while as my default.
I usually use Chrome myself, much smaller footprint than the hulking memory hogs of IE or Firefox, and sports about the same security as either of them.
But the compatibility thing has cropped up a few times. Granted the flash support is much better in Chrome. In IE and Firefox flash causes a memory loop that slowly eats all your system memory and makes your page file go crazy. Safari handles it ok, but it can still be a problem for long periods of flash usage.
I think that was another reason I stuck with Chrome over Safari actually, I had a bit of trouble with flash once, in that it simply wouldn’t play and kept asking for a plug in which in then told me was installed etc.
That’s the good thing about having them both installed though, I can swap between them and neither takes up too much space on the hard drive.
I use Chrome occasionally, but Opera is my browser of choice. I have not had problems with scoring recently.
Opera scoring, or musical scores in general?
I use crappy IE at work, but have no problems with scoring because I hang around student bars wearing low-cut tops that say “cougar in training”.
I quit scoring operas when I was forced to score the entire ring cycle by Wagner in a single sitting.
I tend to use Chrome and Opera at home, and IE at work or on my wife’s computer.
Opera is like Chrome with extra, but different, compatibility issues. It’s also one of the smallest browsers out there.
Hmm. That was supposed to nest above. Damn you computer gremlin!
How dare you sir! We computer gremlins provide a valuable service to our clients, and I resent your disparaging comments to the highest degree! You appear to be of the same ilk of those who malign the might Caveman. Shame, sir…SHAME!
Well, at least he didn’t call their Lawer Orcs on me.
Last time I had Gremlin troubles I ended up being censured for libel. And all I accused him of was stealing my extra socks. Talk about uptight.
Turned out to be the gnomes anyway.
*glingleingleink*
Any chance YSaC has spawned a Not.A.Lion gnomie which gets into CL posts and converts mentions of Not.Not.A.Lions to regular Not.A.Lions? Or am I giving humanity undeserved credit again?
I suppose it takes all kinds. I started eating humas shortly after watching “Don’t Mess with the Zohan.” Hasn’t made me into a Semitic super spy, though—maybe I’m not eating enough.
I hope dude doesn’t pony up too much. This sounds like one of those flash-in-the-pan ideas—cool for a while, then, “A party at Phil’s? Oh, christ, no. You know what’ll be sitting in the middle of the food—that thing creeps me out.”
My first read-through on that I got “I started eating humans…” I’ve not seen that movie so had a quick thought of “I didn’t realize Adam Sandler did zombie movies!”
Hm. I wonder why Raoul would make you think of anthropophagy…
This gives me an idea:
Any of you folks old enough to remember those toys with a picture of a bald guy and some iron filings sealed in plastic? You used a little magnet to give him hair and a beard.
Now let’s update it for the 21st century!
You get a bald bust of your favorite celebrity and a can of Easy Cheese. Give Lionel Richie a mullet! Give Megan Fox a goatee and glasses! Give Keanu Reeves more than one expression! Great fun at your next party!
Not only old enough to remember them, dumb enough to google them too.
http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Hairy-Gary.html
Say chips, cream cheese
Say it for always
That’s the way it should be
I had a dream,
An afromullet of cheesy cream
Folks with chips and bread
Eating cheese off my head
And what they ate,
It was so good and safe,
Because Curtis said I outta
Not be made of terracotta
Say chips, cream cheese
Eat it together
Off of me
Many plus ones for the terracotta rhyme!
We need a YSAC sing-along around a campfire.
Nicely done sir; nicely done indeed.
It seems I may have started a fad.
Speaking of YSaC singalongs, my recording of Favorite Things has been delayed due to technical difficulties (the latest Debian update broke my sound configuration). Once I get those resolved, I’ll try to record it.
I am more than a little concerned about this mysterious “Curtis” fellow. The fact that someone not only read this posting, but wrote to the poster with suggestions on how to make it better is perhaps even more bizarre than wanting said head to begin with.
I’d also like to nominate Food-Safe Sculpture for today’s band name. It just reeks of awesomeness.
Food-Safe Sculpture, promoting their new album, “Swimming with the Snarks,” now at the 40 Watt!
Yeah, but Food-Safe Sculpture is just a cheesy Not.A.Lionel Ritchie cover band.
Dear Craigslist poster: I regret that I do not have a Lionel Richie head for cheese dip. My mom, though, has the uriniating boy drink dispenser, that I will gladly bring to your party. (Seriously.) I look forward to an invitation to your party. I will even fill the drink dispenser will lemon-lime Gatorade.
The only thing that could make that more disturbing – Cherry Kool-Aid.
Ooohh…OUCH!!
Oh, I thought of one better – cranberry juice!
‘Cause then you get a side order of irony to go with your drink.
Even better;
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.4194
I am reminded of the post from earlier and would like to beat everyone to it and say; “Ouch, it burns!”
Ahh the things you can find at dealextreme.
For instance: http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.5388
Pure class.
My favorite/most puzzling, WTF-inducing one – http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.21150
They’ve also started selling tattoo kits and ear piercing kits, which makes me go all shuddery inside.
{corey} Actually, that smile trainer is directly related to fad in Japan. Due to previous social pressures puting the focus on a serious face, many Japanese companies who have international buisness find that their employees have a hard time adapting to foriegn offices because they don’t know how to smile. It isn’t so common anymore, but during the 80s and 90s it was apparently a big ‘problem’.
Seriously, they had instituted smiling classes, scanners, and even “smiling aids” like that one in order to develop what they have determined is a lack of the ability to smile. In fact, my friend, who lives in Japan, was asked to smile during the interview as one of the criteria for being hired. On her acceptance letter they even made a point of mentioning how great they thought her smile was.{/corey}
That is bizarre and somewhat sad.
DRINK DISPENSER?!?
I’d seen it as a (irrevocably tacky) lawn ornament fountain, but drink dispenser takes it to a whole other level of eew.
At least it isn’t a yogurt dispenser.
Yeah, my mom (and my dad) and “Old World” – my dad had a fit when he took us to see “An Officer and A Gentleman,’ not knowing what the movie was about and us kids were in the early teens – so I don’t know why they have such a drink dispenser. I mean, they haven’t been to Brussels to see the real Mannekin Pis statue, so it’s not like they want a souvenir of their travels.
It came from one of them Lilian Vernon-type (not LV itself) catalogs, maybe from the United States Purchasing Exchange, if you’re so inclined to order.
You’ve never seen one of these then Lola?
http://www.papabert.com/Drink-Dispensers/Papa-Bert-Bonny-Boy-Drink-Dispenser-Statue.asp
I don’t think I’ve met a boy yet who could hold only 1.4 beers.
Now I have, Dev, and now I’m going to go claw my own eyes out. Thanks!
While I have reservations about eating off someone’s head, I have to say kudos for skipping the usual bowl and jar route. Nothing worse than sticking your hand clear into a jar to scrape some dip off the bottom, and then wearing said dip on the back of your wrist for the rest of the party.
When I read this the only thing that went through my head was “Suddenly, life has new meaning to me.”
I think I’m too young for Lionel Richie jokes.
Please don’t remind us.
Unfortunately I’m in the same boat as you, Stephanie. I’ve heard his music a few times, but it was never popular in my lifetime…
Just don’t tell us you’ve only heard of him because he’s Nicole Richie’s father.
Woah, wait a minute. Nicole Richie is Lionel Richie’s daughter? No way!
I didn’t even know they were related when I first heard of him.
I may have heard of Nicole Richie before I heard of Lionel. To be fair, I lived under a rock for most of my adolescence.
Yes, he’s her dad. It’s her original claim to fame, before rehab and reality TV.
The resemblance is stunning. Between Nicole and the bust, I mean.
He’s not her biological father — her father was one of his band members, and he took her in and raised her.
WHY DO I KNOW THAT????
I knew that, too, dmrk 😛
I’ve never watched anything about Nicole Richie or Lionel Richie, or actually read anything about them intentionally, but for a few years Nicole was so much all over the media that it was impossible not to know SOMETHING about her…
To her credit, she actually looks fairly nice these days. She’s kept herself off drugs and kept weight on since she had Harlow. I mean, not that I would know…
Drat, we seem to have run out of CCs here today. 8)
Yeah, I knew about the adoption detail, too. I have coworkers who visit the gossip sites and then have discussion period. I know entirely too many things about too many people of dubious fame while wishing those brain cells were holding other info.
Funny, I thought ever since he went solo, the cheese came out of Lionel’s mouth, not his head.
I think the main reason this deserves the “possibly awesome” tag is because the poster is actually clear and specific. That’s a rarity around here.
However, of all the possible creative “dip holders”, why this one?? It’s ugly.
Maybe that’s just because I’m too young to get it. I’ve heard of Lionel Richie, but it doesn’t mean that much to me.
Also: I’m back! For now, at least. I’m using my husband’s computer, beccause I still can’t get mine to load anything other than the YSaC homepage. So while I’m keeping up w/ the Web Bosses’ posts, which is enough to prevent withdrawl, I’m missing out on all the comments, which is sad.
Welcome back! You chose an excellent post on which to return.
Oh, I want one it’ll go with my Cheesus!!
http://www.poizenideas.com/cheesus/
Mmmmm, Cheesus!
I’m disappointed that there are no Gouda Buddhas.
*salivates*
Only problem with a Gouda Buddha is I’d totally eat it. Like starting before I got it properly unpackaged. Especially if it were smoked and/or goat gouda (and particularly if it were smoked goat gouda – I can’t eat that without the cat completely invading my personal space and demanding some, so I’m not the only one, I guess).
And then I’d feel bad for eating someone else’s religious icon.
Well, having a gouda buddha would be a material possession, and therefore be a bar to you reaching enlightenment. thus, you would have to eat the buddha to achieve enlightenment (presuming, of course, that the serving size were no larger than one’s fist, lest one achieve enlargement before enlightenment).
Oh, and we could presume that a gouda buddha is not a Bodhavista, which might allow a person to engage in non-sacreligious injestion.
Gee, that sort of … made sense.
You still get corey credits, though.
I’ve been alone with BLEU inside my mind
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your SWISS a thousand times
I sometimes see your FRIESEKAAS outside my door
Hello, is it BRIE you’re looking for?
I have a pair of decorative glass heads. Is it wrong that I now really want to chill them and sculpt cheese wigs onto them for my next party?
Even better idea: make a silicone cast of the head and use it as a jello mold. Then you can stick things directly into the scalp, and maybe float brain-like foods inside the mold.
I was actually thinking the same thing.
I remember that music video, were the blind lady makes the sculpture of his head, and then they mutually talk eachother. Back when MTV was actually about music videos. Always thought singing “hello, is it me you’re looking for?” to a blind lady was a bit kooky.
*STALK, not talk.
(goes back to sleep)
I’m old enough to remember that.
Many have taken drink from Depressy head. What is big deal?
Oh, yeah. All die soon after.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Ha.
Probably not.
For everyone knows Depressy’s a clown – so why be so serious?
If only there was some way to work in “Easy Like Sunday Morning” in a funny way…
Let’s see.
“Easy Like Cheesy Morning?” No.
“Easy Like Sunday Cheese?” Not quite.
“Easy Cheese Sunday Morning?” Nah.
Ah, fuggit, I’m going to bed…
“Cheesy Like Sunday Morning”?
But you left that out on purpose…
And actually “Easy Cheese” is sorta funny TRUST ME.
There’s only one music you can play when you have a Lionel Richie cheese-head (head cheese?) dispenser, and it’s not one of his songs.
You have to play Taco’s “Putting On the Ritz”. Rather appropriate on all counts.
The mind boggles!
Anyone watching the Winter Olympics opening ceremony, We Are the World’s remake is premiering. Be sure that you have your Lionel Richie cheese dispenser available!
This guy’s tried to build one.
http://www.macalester.edu/~fines/lionel/
http://www.macalester.edu/~fines/lionel/media/day2-9.jpg
HMMM.
Apparently, Andrew — may I call you Andy? Drew? A?– Only you and other students have access to those files. 8/
If the lack of a not.a.Lionel head is what holds you back from having more parties, I suggest you not have more parties regardless.
Dave, no! More parties may possibly equal more baby Sparkies, and nobody wants that!
It’s not a party until someone has legally contracted beverage and a hair full of cheese.
It’s not a party until a bald man named Lionel is walking around in a cheese dip wig with a basket of crackers.
Wasn’t he at Stefon’s wedding?
ghostie leads the way and new commentator Answerguy follows in her footsteps. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Terra Cotta Firma!