YSaC, Vol. 538: A Snack Attack that somewhat lacks.
2010 January 6
TONS OF SNACKS!! Pretzils, cheese doodles, corn chips
They’re in the dumpster behind Just-A-Buck on ###### next to the Shoprite in ####### There’s like hundreds of bags in there
Mmmm…. dumpster pretzils. Nom nom nom.
Thanks for the link, continuityerror!
Are there sea salt and vinegar Kettle chips? Otherwise, forget it. I have standards, man!
I GOT ON THE SIDEBAR! I GOT ON THE SIDEBAR!
BUT…my answer isn’t on there. Just me quoting. So…it isn’t me they think is funny…:::sigh:::
I thought you were funny, Meredith β₯
:::stops pity party momentarily:::
Thanks, sarajean.
Meredith, it’s a set! Neither works alone, it takes both parts for the funny. Here’s a punch for each of you. 8)
Yippie!
Can Stephanie get a punch as well?
Thief! Taker of ideas!! *sob*
*hands Stephanie a runner up, thanks for playing, home version of YSaC*
And a year’s supply of theeeese products … *theme music plays as camera pans to assorted home and personal items*
This comes with cake, right?!
‘N’ sammiches!!!!11!1!!
Yaaay. That’s just the motivation I need to get out of bed….
Oh wait.
No it isn’t.
Zzzzz.
*surreptitiously punches Stephanie’s card*
But…but I didn’t….I was TRYING to give you the credit, seeeee???? I SAID it wasn’t me!!! Gosh. :::kicks pebbles:::
Well if you’re going to go and kick pebbles…. I GUESS I can forgive you…..
Yuck. I don’t care if they are in bags, I am not digging through a convenience store dumpster under any circumstances.
How did the original poster find these things? Was s/he taking a nap in said dumpster and the bags were just dumped on her/him?
I will admit to doing a little trashpicking in my time, but mostly for furniture.
I at one time worked in one of those mass market “hipster” stores, and the kids working for me went dumpster diving a lot. They were all from very wealthy families, but they were all, “We don’t live off them. We make our OWN way, man.” They lived like homeless people, squating in abandoned buildings and eating thrown out food. Course, they also got allowances from the parents they didn’t live off of, and used it for drugs and clothes to make themselves look homeless, but not TOO homeless.
Have to say, I’m not completely against dumpster diving. But the food at a dollar store is already questionable, according to my friend who manages one. He convinced me to stop buying my groceries there. You don’t want to know. :::shudder:::
Looking over this, my post is severly lacking in humor.
Sounds like you worked with some of these guys.
Cept the whole “minimal consumption of resources” part. They had no problem consuming anything around, as long as you didn’t expect them to PAY for it. It’s this new, or really not so new, mindset. “I’m hip and I care about the Earth, and I’m not held down by the MAN. But I smoke and drink and pollute, and if I need something, I’m going to ask you or complete strangers to give it to me, and you better. Oh, and I hate you and everyone else who makes it easier for me to live”.
As you can imagine, this did not lend itself well to an employment relationship. One actually thought, “I’m too stoned to come to work” was a valid excuse, and I was “A cold bigot, and closed minded right winger” for not accepting it.
Closed-minded for not accepting laziness, selfishness and hypocrisy? Dude, what’s wrong with you? π
I worked as a cashier in a off-price store in Florida in the 1990s. One of our tasks very night when we organized the shelves was to check the discounted pastry boxes to make sure there were no flies in them. Every once in a while we’d have to pull one off the shelf.
P.S. The store is no longer in existence.
I can see the sign on the counter: “Don’t mind the flies, we won’t weigh em!”
@meredith:
we call those kids “freegans” or “trustafarians”
“Trustafarians” = New YSaC lexicon entry winner!
*commences wiping snot off face caused by snorting laughter*
OOOOH! The love seat with snake! Was that yours? *grins*
Whoa. This was supposed to be way up there with sarajean’s comment about curb shopping for furniture! How do you get your comments to go in the right place so they make sense?
That seems to happen from time to time,I think it’s because of the way comments nest. If someone comments on an original comment and then several people comment on that comment, any other comment on the original comment gets placed below the other comment and the comments on that comment. Like this:
Comment A
.Comment A1
..Comment A1a
..Comment A1b
..Comment A1c
.Comment A2
Does that make sense? Tertiary comments (in the example, Comments A1a-A1c) don’t have reply buttons, so you would have to go to comment A1 to add a comment to the thread.
You can tell I’ve thought too much about this.
Maybe he thought he was making a Public Service Announcement to help homeless people find a free feed, but how many homeless people have regular access to Craiglist?
Then again, from the nut-bagginess of the postings and the Posters, possibly quite a few do.
There was an article not too long ago on CNN, about this “homeless” woman who blogged about it. All I kept thinking was, “Sure, she’s ‘homeless’, but she has a computer and wi-fi, which is more than I have”.
Nother note: I had to look up how to spell pretzels. I knew that wasn’t right, but it almost had me questioning.
Silly me,I assumed it was some sort of name brand, like Cheez Doodles.
Oh, you had to point out the Cheez Doodles, didn’t you?
Must. Have. Cheesy. Puffs.
Nonono – it’s another misspelling, of “Chez Doodle’s,” which is that frog joint right there in the strip mall between the Lowtide Sushi and the Dollah Store.
I’ve been reading this site for so long that I actually wrote “speeling” last week, and it was only in the second read-through that I picked it up.
And I can go without Cheese Puffs, but I so miss Salt and Vinegar crisps…….gonna have to go to macca’s now and have vinegar on some fries.
Vinegar fries with Old Bay are my fave! Old Bay is sort of like seasoning salt…as much as a Twinkie is sort of like fine Tirimisu. It was made for Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs, but it’s used on everything in this area. I have friends who actually pack it for vacations.
You can get Old Bay up here, too. I see displays of it at Thanksgiving for turkey seasoning. You can also, depending on the brand and your location, get chips (crisps for our UK friends) with that seasoning. The first time I saw them labeled “Crab Chips” I thought they were crab-flavored, which was unappealing … but when I found out they were just the seasoning … mmmm.
ok, gonna ask a friend to bring some down from the States. That and some HP Barbecue Sauce…..nom nom nom. π
I think the Old Bay is an East Coast thing, rather than North or South. And yeah, Utz Crab chips are the BEST, especially in the summer, alongside a really cold root beer.
I’m about 20 minutes outside Baltimore, and the best billboard here is a Smyth jewelry ad. It’s the Natty Boh beer guy (who’s also huge in the city) proposing to the Utz potato chip girl. IT’S THE CUTEST!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3071/2952827356_56140bcd2a.jpg
[Old Bay] was made for Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs, but itβs used on everything in this area.
Meredith, are you sure you’re not my cousin? Tell me in what unusual appliance your dog peed to verify whether you’re her or not.
Surely you have heard to the great Destroyer of Snack Foods, Pretzila? AOOOHHHNOM! Nom nom nom.
She may have simply used the resources of the public library.
Nope, no doggy.
Ok, I’m convinced now that you’re not my cousin. For the record, her dog somehow managed to pee in her VCR to express its displeasure at being left alone while she went to work.
Perhaps those who provide food to homeless shelters will read this. And why didn’t the stupid store donate it and write it off in the first place? Sheesh.
I worked for a grocery store for several years. While there I learned that stores used to donate damaged or out-of-date food to homeless shelters and the such. But then people started going in the store and intentionally damaging merchandise. Also, there is concern about litigation over possible food-borne illness from out-of-date products. “I’m suing! The free Cheesy Poofs you gave me that were 2 years out of date gave me the s***s!”
I actually work for one now. Legally, it is not a good idea to donate the damaged and out of date food for exactly that reason. There is a chance it could make someone sick. We do, however, donate food and other items on a regular basis to several homeless organizations.
I used to work for large supermarket chain here in the UK about 15 years ago, and the store did donate almost out of date stuff to a local shelter for a while.
Then head office found out and sent a message to all stores totally banning them from doing this and giving specific instructions on how such items were to be destroyed in future. I guess someone in the legal department was worried.
As I understand it from friends who still work there, those instructions on destroying waste food are still in place even now.
I totally meant to add before it goes bad, and when they see it obviously isn’t selling. Yeah. That’s what I meant.
My grandfather was a serious dumpster-diver and/or curb shopper and/or freecyler (also packrat/borderline hoarder, but that’s a digression for another day) before the terms were invented. He brought home to my grandmother lots of useful stuff that he found in businesses’ trash. I think the impulse came from coming to this country as the youngest of a very large family and one trunk of posessions – and then raising a family during the depression. You got creative, you reused things, you avoided waste. However …
… But FOOD?
Never.
NEVER.
Yeah…..totally read this as “curb stomper”. I thought, “Wow, bad-ASS, Grampa!”
*snort*
No. Although I’m very amused! He was bad-ass about a few things (owned a motorcycle back when they were basically a bike and a lawnmower engine), but not that.
Leave it to Jay and Silent Bob to point out one of the sweeter payoffs of hanging outside the Quickstop. *wink wink*
But seriously, being an epicurian snob, I only dive at WaWa dumpsters.
I prefer the am/pm, myself. Living on the East Coast makes that difficult, but it’s something to look forward to when I go home.
One of the healthier food chains like Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods used to separate their “garbage” into different dumpsters. It was done just so that people could go through and pick out the things that weren’t truly “bad”. There was one set apart for rotten stuff and things that you really should NEVER pick up, like meat and dairy.
I wonder if they still do this.
I work down the road from a Trader Joe’s and now have an intense desire to drive behind the store and see how many trash bins they have.
I used to live by a steakhouse that was next to a seafood place, both of them high-end. In the summer, even first thing in the morning, walking past their dumpsters and their exuded air of rotting carnal death was so bad that I was vegetarian for weeks upon weeks, even after I changed my route to work.
I worked at a seafood place in high school and the employee parking places were right beside the dumpsters. I made the mistake one summer day of leaving one window cracked about a quarter inch. My car smelled like fishy death for weeks.
sarajean: But I’m guessing Yoda loved it! *DEE-lish*
Sadly this was in my pre-Yoda days.
“Like rotting shrimp you smell!”
The cats I had at the time loved it, they tried to eat my clothes and would roll around on them for hours.
The local Krispy Kreme puts all the end-of-day donuts into a different bag than any other trash. No matter how many you think you can eat, a whole trashbag of donuts is too much. Just FYI.
Depending on the circumstances, even a dozen can be too much.
A Challenge!
Mudsie, View Askew reference for the Win! 8)
Win? As in Winn Dixie?
And not even a mention of ONE sammich! *sigh*
“You dumb basstard, that’s not a Doodle, it’s a Cheese Puff!”
“A Doodle is a Cheese Puff, stupidhead.”
this was supposed to show up much higher in the que.
But it sounds like part of your sketch from below.
and can’t forget Snacky Cakes:
Cartman: “I can’t believe that sonuva bitch!”
Kyle: “Here, Cartman, have some snacky cakes.”
Cartman: “Dude, snacky cakes? Get down!”
Because of Eric Cartman, I will always call them Cheesy Poofs. Even the ones with the Chester Not. A. Lion. mascot.
I love cheesy poofs,
You love cheesy poofs.
If we didn’t eat cheesy poofs,
We’d be…
Lame.
teeheee, look…a Cheesy Poof bath.
Maybe the address of the Just-A-Buck is 420 High Street.
HAHAHAHA, I now see a vivid comedy sketch of some guy, stoned out of his gourd, coming across this dumpster. Little smell lines pick him up, deposit him in the dumpster, and the whole world goes pink and purple and blurry as he basks in the glow of free snacks.
I see it so clearly.
Smell lines! HAHA!
*visions of Ren and Stimpy cartoon clip*
I’ve encountered people who I’m convinced had actual smell lines, it was that intense. The surf-and-turf garbage odor had actual physical presence.
hollow thunking sound as if a heavy object was dropped into a large metal box partially filled with garbage
“Dude! I found free munchies.”
several moments pass in silence
“I should post this on CraigsList.”
several more moments pass in silence
“What was I doing? Oooh, Funyuns!”
sound of bag being opened
This kinda reminds me of when I worked at a grocery store. Kids would steal alcohol by throwing it in the dumpster with the rest of the trash then dumpster dive for it after hours. Drink up, kiddies!
The boxboys where I worked thought they’d invented that trick!
Maybe it was the same store! Eh, I was only 18 when I worked there and I remember thinking even at that age how unoriginal and stupid it sounded…. Then again this was the same store where I once walked in on my coworkers doing it in the walk in fridge….. Yeah people at that store were not smart.
Mmmmm, probably not the same store, at least while I was there. The only thing I ever got up to in a walk-in fridge was when I worked in a kitchen and learned how to huff the nitrous from the empty spray-whipped cream cans (I was 17, that’s my only defense).
“Freezer Burned Love”–the first hit single from the new band, Stinky & the Smell Lines.
Oh, and a girl I went to high school with tried to huff the crap out of a window air conditioning unit. Apparently when she passed out, her “boyfriend” left her laying in the driveway between her parents cars. Never wanted to huff anything after that story.
Oh. He sounds like such a sweet boyfriend. Left her in front of the correct house and everything.
Now I’m wondering if they didn’t just take Cheetos and crap themselves. Did they throw them there for strangers to take? Or do they know what horrible secrets lay among the backs of snacks?
I vote for “backs of snacks” as a great indie, lo-fi band name. (I realize it’s probably a typo but like it.)
Hmmmm…. It is a typo, but it does make sense. (And make for a good band name.) π
In Soviet Russia, snack in dumpster is you.
I was waiting for this one!
There is a simple thing all* grad students would say to this good samaritan: “Thank you. You are a god.”
*At least, all of the grad students I have come across.
I think this qualifies for the WTF tag.
And, I might add, if there’s Funyuns in there get outta my way!
Every time I see a reference to Fun Yuns, I am reminded of an article from The Onion: Fun Yuns outsell ResponsibilityUns 3 to 1.
Kind of silly but always makes me chuckle.
I remember that article!
I guess whoever posted this ad either took all that they could carry but there was plenty more, or else the poster was “too good” for dumpster diving, but assumed his/her fellow Craigslisters had considerably lower standards.
This will sound gross, and I shall explain myself lest I be judged. I used to work at both our Costco and the local Food Bank. often, we would back up the food bank truck *similar to a U-Haul* to the dumpsters at Costco and load it up. There was food there that I couldn’t afford to buy, while working two jobs. Yes, I admit, head hung ashamedly, that I sometimes brought home whole hams *best. Jew. ever*, packs of 5 dozen eggs, things like that. But only if we needed them. The food dumpsters at costco get pressure-washed twice each week. packaged food goes into one, keeping it clean, and unpackaged food goes into the other. I never got bad food, and neither did the people utilizing the Food Bank. Most food they threw out simply because one egg in 5 dozen was broken. The outer wrapping on a triple-wrapped 4 lb ham was split. Packages of bacon got dropped? Garbage. Milk got messy on the outside? Trash. I could not believe the waste! But with the Food Bank, they could write it off as donations, save on garbage and recycling, and people that couldn’t afford things like 700 cupcakes with too much frosting or a large roast were eating pretty well. And so were the rest of us, for that matter.
It all depends on circumstance. Random “garbage” not specifically selected for donation is potentially dangerous, but items considered unsaleable though still safe don’t seem bad.
And besides … I’m sure that a little Talmudic discussion would give you dispensation for rescuing treif for the hungry, even if that included yourself.
+10 for use of “Talmudic.”
Yes, I admit, head hung ashamedly, that I sometimes brought home whole hams *best. Jew. ever*
You brought them home, but did you eat them?
Of course! I think I’d rather be circumcised than go without bacon. *Jim Gaffigan FTW* I cannot fathom how Jews can commit all kinds of other sins, but Bacon? Off with their heads!
When you say “their heads,” what exactly …
… Hmmm, maybe I’d rather not know …
Kofeir!
Just kidding. Dietary restrictions in religious traditions are certainly an interesting topic (interesting topics? I always confuse these things).
In Afghanistan, I didn’t eat the pork in the chow hall because it always made me ill. I would joke with the Afghan employees and say, “Na, na, kharam.” Well, apparently since I had a beard, wore civilian clothes, and knew that pork products are kharam, they decided I was a fellow Muslim and wouldn’t allow me to have anything with pork products, even if I wanted it. Ever since then I’ve felt a twinge of guilt any time I consume pork.
I agree with Lola, let’s not talk about circumcision in the same comment where we say “off with their heads” in the future.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2010/1/4/
Lulz.
I’m really going to miss Comic Con this year. 8/ Gabe and Tycho hold wonderful panel discussions. Penny Arcade for yet another WIN!
Graham, you just put a Penny Arcade link.
Marry me.
How do you feel about polygamy?
Situations like that are one thing. Food waste is such an issue. If the food is still good someone should take it because chances are they need it. Besides, it’s not like you were pulling hams and cupcakes out of bags of trash containing kitchen waste or anything.
If I buy my lunch for work, I often go to Pret a Manger. In NYC, they donate all usable, uneaten food to City Harvest at the end of the day. Not only is it donated, it’s usually pretty healthy (organic ingredients, wholegrain bread in the sandwiches, free-range chicken, etc.). I’ve actually kept buying from them for this reason (the fact that they donate).
yet another reason i am living on the wrong side of the country…. sigh….
Literally ROFL at “best. Jew. ever”
I was having heart palpitations the other day at Walmart. Someone wasn’t careful enough with the eggs, (edit: the organic, 5 dollar a carton eggs!!!) and it seemed that one or two in a bunch of packs got broken or cracked. The lady was opening them up, looking in, and then throwing them in a huge garbage can. I asked her, “Why don’t you just take the broken ones out and consolidate?” She looked at me like I was Satan himself. “We don’t have TIME for that, and anyway, we can’t go touching people’s food”.
Yeah, because who wants human hands on something out of a chickens ass? Stupid me!
You mean chicken vag. Nomnomnom.
Technically chickens have a cloaca like all birds. Basically the sewage treatment plant and the playground share a door.
That means you are both right.
Please, until they started coming in those clear-plastic cartons, I always opened them up and wiggled them a little to make sure none were cracked, and I know I wasn’t the only one. “Can’t touch people’s food”, indeed! I’d love to know why they were so busy so that they didn’t have TIME for that. It’s Walmart, FFS! Not the Pentagon at Defcon 5.
I do that myself in the supermarket – check the carton, then just swap out the cracked one or two into another carton with broken eggs. If i didn’t have two small children with me who want to “help” I would make whole cartons for other people, but that will have to wait a few years – please God, let me find other ways to be useful to humanity by the time my children are in school. Otherwise, in 2013, come find me in the local Woolworths.
Eggs! Cloaca! Birds! You people are talking my language! 8)
I seriously doubt you eat omelets of lovebird or parakeet eggs, Windrose! I mean, c’mon, half a dozen eggs of any of those would only make enough egg salad for one crustless tea sandwich.
Also, I know you like having yours hatch. π Cute little baby birds … particularly once the feathers come in.
Altricial chicks are so so hideous -_-They are barely tolerable even when their down has come in! I am SO much more a fan of precocial chicks. Cute lil fuzzbutts!
I don’t know if this is true for all food banks, but I know of a local food bank that has to throw out most of their donated foods because it can take them up to 6 months to process all the donations. So, in that instance, I can see where a store would throw out something with a relativley short shelf life – like eggs – rather than donate it.
That doesn’t really account for pretzels and cheese doodles, though.
The best eggs are the ones that go ‘cheep’. Save ’em for six weeks and you’ve got a chicken dinner. Thrift food!
Graham! Hi! Thanks for following the invite.
(Back to regularly scheduled thread.)
Another Graham! How do you do, sir?
The eggs in supermarkets aren’t fertilized and even if they were they have been cold for too long to be viable. Even if they were fertilized and did hatch, you’d have to wait a little longer for the chicks to grow into decent-sized fryers or roasters. Although, now that I think about it you probably know all this and were joking.
Ed. Seriously. Eggs that go cheep. Should have been your first clue!
And that reminds me: http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/archive.php?today=851&comic=849
Bloody brilliant.
Dangit, used the wrong email…
BWAH!
Too true.
I’ll refuse to date men because of how they write (details matter, people!). They know this. The ones who make an effort make the best impression.
Hi Lola, hi GrahamT, hi Ed. Lola thanks; Graham, very well thanks and you? And Ed, yes, you’re right. I’m such a scamp and I’m pleased to meet you all.
My personal record is eating some soured cream which was six or seven weeks past the best before date. I found it at the back of the fridge, it didn’t spurt when I opened it, it didn’t fizz on my tongie when I tasted it so I stirred it into some stirfried chicken & pancetta and had it as a pasta sauce. Waste food? nah…
I wish I would have known about the free snacks in ####### when I was down there picking up the free kittens yesterday.
In Soviet Russia, free kittens are snacks.
MIA: Isaac. JtC and Tuffy. Igor. Don’t make me have to start taking attendance, people!
Hmph. *sulks* No one ever misses me.
I did, but thought it was down to Pants. π
I’ll miss you if you miss me, arallyn.
Deal, LurkRealClose. π
Lola: Under normal circumstances you’d be right, but I haven’t technically acquired him yet >_> He’s still lounging at his current home, as my parents’ cat is not exactly “friendly” to other cats. I get to pick him up in a couple days, then immediately traumatize him with a four-hour car ride to my apartment. i’m sure he’ll love it.
Me either!
Damn, that was supposed to be under Arallyn’s sulk!
What about me Windrose? π Shoot….
Are you here, Steve-O? I would miss you if you didn’t post for days and days, like the ones mentioned. Eventually. I would. Really.
I couldn’t get onto this site for about 2 months… did anybody miss me? Anybody? …please? Lying is ok if it makes me feel better.
Yes, actually, & wondered how you were doing with your new feline.
Aw, thanks, Lola! We’re getting along really well.
Sorry, I don’t see what’s “ew” about this. Free factory sealed bags of mostly non-perishable snacks? Awesome! Americans waste so much food, it’s ridiculous. We used to have a bakery next door, and we NEVER paid for bread thanks to their dumpster.
I can see what would be “ew” about it depending on what was on top of it…otherwise I’d be all over that like ants on a bologna sandwich!