YSaC, Vol. 531: To title too assemble hard.
blinder
as far as i know it works i am sure it has all the parts just not sure how to put it together
it was given to us by family
it needs to be cleaned
it has the spout so the juice goes right into the cup it is yours it you want it
pick up only
email and please leave contact info i will get back to you today
thank you
I can see where having to clean this AND figure out how to put these two pieces together could be too much to handle.
FREE KRUPS EXPRESSOR MACHINE
IT WORKS AND HAD ALL THER PART S PIEVES
PLUGS INTO OUTLET
DUH RIGHT
120 VOLTS
I DONT WANT IT ANYMORE BECAUSE I DI NT USE IT FOR 6 MONTHS AND
NOW IT NEEDS TO BE CLEANED. THEY TOLD ME TO USE VINEGAR I TRIED IT WITH VINIEGAR
AND ALSO TRIED SOME NATURAL PEPPERMINT SOAP. NOW ITS SMELLS LIKE SOAP AND I DONT HAVE THE PATIENTS TO KEEP POURING IN FRESH WATER TILL ALL THE SOAP WILL DISPERSE FROM INSIDE THE TUB THAT HEATS THE WATER. IF YOU WANT IT JUST TELL ME YOUR 1ST NAME AND IF ITS A WEIRD NAME TELL ME WHAT YOUR NAME MEANS.
I THINK YOU SHOULD STOP BY TODAY TO COME PICK IT UP. I AM NEAR [location].
CLOSE TO C-TOWN DONT TELL ME HOW TO CLEAN IT I DONT CARE ANYMORE I AM GIVNG IUP LET ME GIVE UP OK.. I KNOW I PAID A LOT FOR IT BUT LET ME GIVE UP.
On the one hand, this is a great opportunity for someone with a weird name who loves peppermint-soap-flavored espresso. On the other, appliances are hard, y’all!
Thanks, James and Johanna!
Its very important to be as expressor as possible with your patients who are suffering from pepperment mange.
Hey, TM, what are you doing up so a) early, b) late, or c) long?
Baby, maybe? Though he’s pretty coherent, if sleep-deprived.
Good point. Although he may have nodded off again.
The baby style alarm clock I own makes sure I’m up bright and early every morning… despite my need for more sleep.
Babby alarm clock worked for me! *zzzzzzz*
So that spout that makes the juice go right in the cup, is that a new invention? Should I clean the blinder with peppermint soap? Coffee and juice, all with the refreshing taste of mint.
Put it together wrong, and it definitely could be a blinder …
Don’t you hate it when you “DONT HAVE THE PATIENTS” to do your housework? I hate those lazy sick people. Malingerers, all of them!
Oh, and my name’s Lolita. It means “teenage tart,” even though I am neither. Is that OK?
Even if you put it together correctly, but then used it to make pitcher after pitcher of frozen margaritas, it could also be a blinder.
well, DUH RIGHT!
Blinder recipe:
1 oz lime juice
1 oz vodka
2 oz windshield washer fluid
mix with ice and blend until smooth
Or run with the top off and 1/2 cup rocks = blinder…….
And my name is B7Dots – given to me by my great grandmother, an Apache Indian. It refers to the Pleiades star cluster (the seven sisters). Yes I have 7 sisters, but you can keep your dirty expressor machine.
It works best as a blinder if you stick your face in it then turn it on. Those blades work wonders.
I can’t seem to get my head into the blender to properly blind myself. Any tips?
Maybe you need to see a shrink?
Use a simple hacksaw to remove the top part of the pitcher. That’s there to prevent children from putting their eyes on the blades, but it’s really only an optional attachment. If you don’t have kids, or if your kids are already blind, cut that pitcher loose, and Bob’s your uncle.
Lola = Lolita
Funny, you don’t look Nabokovian
What if I don’t know what my weird name means? Does that mean I miss out on the soapy expressor machine? That doesn’t seem fair.
Make something up. You can ask us for help!
oh, you would definitely be that camille soap….I don’t know if it would clash with the peppermint or not.
I’d tell you all what TacoMagic means, but if I did that where would the magic be?*
*In my pants is NOT the correct answer to that question.
TM: thanks for reminding me not to drink coffee when reading this site.
I does what I can.
you really should know that by now Lola.
but then, so should I and I’m also wiping my screen.
We just all need to learn how to swallow, quickly.
That’s what she said.
Wow. Total reading fail on my part. I’ve never seen your name as TACOmagic. I was pronouncing it in my head with a long a, like TAKE-o-magic. Not that TacoMagic is all that much more enlightening. 🙂
Let me guess: You live waaaaay north of the border*, right? 8)
Yes, I’m being ethnocentrically fixated on the United States. No insults intended, void where prohibited, your mileage may vary, please see package for details.
but what if I didn’t keep the packaging?
Wait- your name isn’t Gic? You’re not from Tacoma?
Oh rapture! My lifelong dream has always been to own two slightly-soiled, complicated kitchen appliances. And I think today, my dream has come true.
My first name is Velampthriscrus. It means “narwhal orgasm” in an ancient nomadic Etruscan dialect. The thought of consuming slightly-soapy “Expressor” is making my mouth water. Please, don’t keep me waiting.
narwhal orgasm would make a great name for a band
Narwhal Orgasm and the HYPNO DOGS!!! Appearing LIVE…Sunday! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!!! Kids, bring your mine hores and get in FREE.
Well of course it still smells funny, they told him to use “VINEGAR”, but he used “VINIEGAR”. It would have been worse if he’d used Vinny-gar, though.
So the poor guy doesn’t know beans about his expressor machine. He obviously sanka lot of time into trying to clean it. There are no grounds for us to roast him like this, so folger hands and quit typing right this instant.
People who think the pun is the lowest form of humor are just jealous of people like you, l_c! +1 for never failing to impress!
As an aside: I’m not having the “+1” issues any more; they seem to have disappeared. +1 for that, too.
As usual lost_compass, you’re always good to the last drop.
Indeed, his comments really help me through my daily grind.
They really perk me up, too!
EDIT: Bugger, Windrose already did that one. Now I’m steamed that everyone will roast me for not reading all the comments first.
Sarajean, I think that puts you firmly in the drip grind category. But thanks for playing! (just kidding, we get lots of repeats here because GMTA)
Yuban good with the puns today!
You do know “Yuban” Coffee, right? If you have to explain a pun it’s not funny.
No explanation needed – you’d have to be chock full o’ nuts not to get it.
Thanks a latte.
Stop, y’all. You’re going to make me frappe my chinos.
It’s good to see all the puns filter down through the ranks. I’d hate to see such a tall order go unfullfilled. You guys are truely raising the barista.
Feel free to expressor self on YSaC. Reading this will perk you right up, unless you’re a drip grind.
My thoughts really haven’t been percolating lately. I can’t espresso myself, properly.
Thanks for illustrating the adage, “A pun at maturity is fully groan.” Here’s to 2010 and good riddance–ahem–good bye to 2009.
Maybe I am reading too much into this, but I feel like going and taking the free appliances from this person would really reinforce survival of the fittest. If you are too much of an ignoramous to put together a blender, you should lay down and die because maybe life in general is too hard. Subsequently, I will take your appliances as though they were the boots of a fallen cowboy in a western movie.
(Back to bed.)
Kind of a technological Darwinism? I like it. I also think many, many computers need to be confiscated if Craigslist is any indication.
course you have no patients – you not doctor. or are you? maybe that’s why the speeling is so bad, you know how doctors are.
or maybe just figuring out how to work a blender is TOO TAXING for your tiny mind! lawdy.
The thought of a doctor that cannot operate a blender makes me go all shivery inside.
Someone should start a collection to purchase this pathetic person a plastic toy blender. Once they master the ownership of pretend appliances marketed towards small children, they can get a learner’s permit and operate kitchen appliances under adult supervision.
Hi, I’m calling about the blinder? Yeah I know it’s in pieces, and dirty. I’m okay with that, cuz like you, my mother raised me in a barn! Hey do you know if it’s crawling with disease at all? Oh, you don’t? Hmm. That’s too bad. I’m a fan of dirty old appliances giving me horrible and disgusting diseases. Oh yeah it has a spout thing! So cool! Please, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve heard that this allows you to get the juice DIRECTLY into the cup? It does?! Woo doggy! And to think, all these years I’ve just been removing the pitcher from it’s base and POURING my drinks! Like some sort of caveman…. Hahaha, but again, I was raised in a barn…. Ok well I think you’ve answered all my questions…. What’s that? You don’t even know if it WORKS?!? That’s….. Amazing! Ok ok ok uhhh I am going to come by RIGHT NOW. I NEED THIS BLINDER.Â
My sarcasm machine just exploded. Why does this keep happening?
Mine keeps doing that, too! Must be a design defect, because the instructions it came with were SO clear.
*muffled sounds of exploding machinery*
Dammit. That one singed the drapes.
+1 for the use of Woo Doggy
-1 for assuming cavemen were brought up in barns.
+100 for awesome use of sarcasm.
Wow. Now that I have found the + key on my keyboard, I cannot seem to stop rating. It is like a disease!
Wait… cavemen weren’t raised in barns?
If they weren’t raised in barns, where on Earth were they raised?
TM: +1 for capitalizing Earth. No mudslinging here!
Sorry. I was also educated in a barn.
+1 for humility. 🙂
A favorite joke of mine is when I leave the door open and someone asks “Were you born in a barn?” I reply “No, I was born in a hospital with automatic doors.” Not an original, but one of my favorites.
Personally, I find notable pathos in the last few lines of the “expressor” post. “Let me give up, let me give up”, he begs us. Can anyone help? Hey Lola, don’t you live near “C-town”?
So we’re supposed to kill him? I bet an expressor machine to the head would do the trick….
I’m not sure. Was that posted under the “Mercy Killings” section of Craigslist?
Oh my God. I nearly lost control of my bowels over this comment. +1
C-Town? I … don’t know … because I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I just thought there was someplace called “c-town” up somewhere near NYC. That’s all. “Expressor” said he was somewhere up near “c-town”
Now that I think about it, there’s a grocery chain here by that name but I’ve never shopped there as they aren’t in my neighborhood. Maybe this poster lives near one?
so he/she is not sure how to put the “blinder” together eh? Well from what I can recall from before I gave mine to a friend after not using it ever, there are only 4 parts, the base, the pitcher, the blade and the lid.
How dumb can you be if you can’t figure out that the pitcher sits on top of the base, the blade goes inside and the lid goes on the top?
Mind you, I notice there’s no sign of a lid it that pic.
Perhaps that is why it is labeled a blinder and not a blender. If you use it without the lid, mixture shoots in your eyes thus blinding you. And then chaos ensues.
No, no, the mixture shoots directly into the cup!
Check, check, and check. But I’m pushing the buttons, and nothing is happening! This is too complicated!
I guess it would be too much to hope that the intricacies of human reproduction would prove to be similarly baffling, thus insuring that this person’s genes would not infect another generation.
They two acts are quite similar. You have make sure everything lines up properly and you also have to know which buttons to push.
(I won’t mention the “You also have to keep a lid on things or they could get messy” joke that’s in my head, because I’m above that sort of thing.)
Right! You have to make sure the parts fit together correctly, and being clean helps. I won’t mention “spouts” or “juice” because I’m above that sort of thing too.
But if you’re not clean the spout could get clogged, and then the juices might not make it directly into the cup.
(I guess I’m not THAT far above that sort of thing.)
In Soviet Russia, blinder cleans you.
(substituting for Ed)
Or rather, it would clean you if it weren’t lacking patients.
Steve-o, you might just get another punch in your card, on general principle. I don’t think anyone else’s quote has stayed up in the box for so long.
Epic.
An “EXPRESSOR MACHINE” that brews coffee mixed with a natural peppermint soap? And has the bracing tang of “viniegar” to boot? I think my morning dilemma of whether to drink expresso or brush my teeth has been solved. Now I can do both!
Thank you, mighty CraigsList gods!
Side note: This is so cool. I am usually the only one in my house cleaning, but right now I’m the only one who isn’t! LOL Not for long, but enjoying it while I can.
Wow. 2 weeks of missed YSaC finally read. Its a good thing I was distracted earlier. Trying to read these with a dog that barks and runs around the minute you laugh would have been terrible, seeing how it was the middle of the night. With my mom sleeping upstairs. How I have missed thee, YSaC…
I want a blinder.
Hi guys I’m new *waves*
*waves back* Hi Kat! Welcome to YSaC. Pull up a virtual chair and have some expressor!
But it’ll be all soapy! I didn’t say any naughty words today, I don’t need my mouth washed out.
Welcome!
I know this is a little off topic, but I can’t seen to remember the rules for into/in to. I have been f-ing that up since grade school and can never remember which one is for what. Can you guys help a little? Thanks
Whenever the “to” is a particle of the infinitve, be sure to keep them separate: “We dropped in to visit my Aunt,” “He just stepped in to pay the bill.”
We use “into” to express motion or direction: “He stared into her blue eyes,” “She walked into the store to say hello,” “She drove into the side of the garage.” In a sentence such as “Let’s invite them in to dinner,” of course, you wouldn’t want people walking into your dinner.*
*I snagged this from “The Grammar Logs”
Thank you very much. It was late, I was doing some writing on a grant, and neither one looked right. I suppose I could have Googled it too. Thanks again.
I’ve been watching for someone to suggest imagining the second ad being read by Christopher Walken.
Though somehow I hear it in my head as Heath Ledger portraying The Joker.
A rap in the making. Â Dude just needs to do some editing. Â Allow me to assist:Â
Title:Â
NEED TO EXPRESSOR MYSELF, DON KNOW HOW
MACHINE WORKSÂ
DUH RIGHT
DONT WANT IT ANYMOREÂ
NEEDS TO BE CLEANED.Â
SMELLS LIKE SOAP
DUH RIGHTÂ
DONT HAVE THE PATIENTS
Â
YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
DUH RIGHT
DUH RIGHT
CLOSE TO C-TOWN, MOTHERKRUPPER
DONT TELL ME HOW TO CLEAN IT I DONT CARE ANYMORE.
MOTHERKRUPPERÂ Â
I AM GIVNG IUP
LET ME GIVE UP OK..Â
KNOW I PAID A LOTÂ
LET ME GIVE UP.
i work in an electronics store and i can tell you, that 2 nutjobs above are just the tip of the iceberg. if you didn’t have customers, who wrecked up their brandnew 1000+€ washing machines because they didn’t remove the transport-protection-things or put some kind of cream all over their face and then whine about how their keyboard smells funny, because said cream has dripped all over the place, (there’s some kind of unintended bad rhyme in hear, i guess) then you’ve seen nothing.
I don’t have customers, nor do I have patients.
“appliances are hard, y’all” ha ha ha-too funny