YSaC, Vol. 604: I have a “personal life”? too.
“NEED ROOF OVER HEAD”
I posted not 2 long ago for a temporary plce to stay, for
exchange of “HOUSE CLEANING” or “CAREGIVIVG” & boy
did the “P E R V E R T S”? come out of the ( WOOD WORK BIG TIME )I am to old for “STUPID GAMES” & “DRAMA”, I have enough going
on in my own “PERSONAL LIFE”?I am right now in “[LOCATION]” with a ( TOTAL SICKO ).
I would rather not go back to “[different location]” & live.So “PLEASE” if there is a “GOOD KIND HEARTED” family or
a “RETIRED COUPLE”, that might need some “HELP” & can’t
afford it?I can “HELP”? I have my own small “BUSINESS” of “CLEANING”,
“ORGANZING”, “REORGANZING”,”YARDWORK”, & I have done some
“CAREGIVING”.
I am a( PEOPLE PERSON ) big time.
My “MOTTO” is:
I’ll treat you the way you treat me?
You have “RESPECT”, I will give you the “MOST RESPECT” back?
But if have an “ATTITUDE”?, You haven’t seen “MINE?, & believe
me you wouldn’t want tooooooooooo?So “PLEASE”, can someone out there “HELP”?
I do have “Refrencess upon ReQuest” if needed.
It’s just ( TEMPORARY ).If you can Contact TEENA at:
xxx-xxx-xxxx & (PLEASE LEAVE MESSAGE) or
E’mail me back?
Well, this is a ( TRAIN WRECK ) of a “POST”. My fingers are exhausted from making so many air quotes.
I do need some reorganzing, though. The first person I hired to organze really didn’t do that great a job, so I need to have it redone.
Thanks for the submission, Corey! (I suspect that this is a Corey, not the Corey.)
My “MOTTO” is:
Why make a statement when you can “ASK QUESTIONS” tooooooooo?
It is too EARLY to (THINK) up something S N A R K Y to say about this.
Actually, all this brings to mind is Talking Tina (or TEENA if you will) from the Twilight Zone.
“I’m Talking Tina and I’m going to KILL you!”
If this woman’s writing style is any indication of personality I suspect that she can’t find someplace to live because she’s so shouty and sneery. I wouldn’t put up with that. The only person allowed to be like that in my house is me.
Also, what is/are “Refrencess upon ReQuest”? ReQuest sounds like some sort of video game. “New ReQuest: Back for More Action: ( TEMPORARY ) Teena!!11!!Elebenty”
ReQuest II: MOST RESPECT and just ( TEMPORARY ) ATTITUDE
Can we get a video of this one too? That would be hilarious!! Anyone?
*sneaks in and sits quietly in the corner, hoping no-one’s noticed how long she’s been gone*
We did! I wondered if you’d been carried off in Sherwood Forest by the Merry Men, or at least a Merry man.
Any sign of Arched Eyebrows? Haven’t seen her for a bit either, had wondered …
Welcome back! 😀
Weeeell, first there was the holiday, and very nice it was too I have to say. Then there was the computer tantrum that took days to resolve. Then there was the upgrades my forum hosting site did that left the help forum there (where I’m a moderator) in complete uproar for days, and kept me from doing much of anything else. Then the damn router died and I had virtually no net connection for almost a week, which nearly killed me.
I feel like I’ve been away for months but it’s not that long is it? Well, maybe it is nearly a month, sorry folks. Nice to be back though.
*waving*
Here I am, Lola. It is very much nice to be missed. It’s been cold, wet and windy here the last couple days so I’ve been busy inside with house things and not on computer much. Mr. Eyebrows (ironically, he has none 🙂 ) is working tonight so thought I’d sit down and catch up with YsaC. As a matter of fact, I just took a banana bread out of the oven. Wish I could pass around a slice to everyone!
“CLEANING”,“ORGANZING”, “REORGANZING”,”YARDWORK”, & “CAREGIVING”, huh? Is that what the kids call it these days?
I didn’t like the last person I had “REORGANZE” me. I ended up with two bladders and only one lung.
Had to give up smoking, but at least now I can make it through Titanic without a bathroom break.
Next time ask for an extra liver. It’s great, I win every drinking contest!
Eat asparagus before your drinking binge. It slows the absorption of alcohol.
Oh, Steve-O! I’m so confused. But I am also in awe of your vast store of knowledge. 8)
My attitude is four .50-cal guns mounted as an anti-aircraft weapon. I’ll bet Teena hasn’t seen that.
I knew “[LOCATION]” was full of ( TOTAL SICKO )s. It’s far worse than downtown Ish.
Whoo! My (SUDAFED)-fueled ramblings mean I don’t “SUCK”! Does that mean I’ll get a “PUNCH” when (WINDROSE) “SHOWS” up?
(That is a very “EXAUSTING” way to “WRITE”.(SPARKY) must have stronger “FINGERS” than I do.Must be all that “CAREGIVING”.)
I’m so glad your belly button lint comment got in the box! It made me laugh and (LAUGH) and also “LAUGH” yesterday when I read it. I might have choked on my cereal but I’ve got mad eating-and-laughing-and-not-spewing skills.
Sarajean, I nearly forgot, but I did remember before signing off the intertubes last night. 8)
Well, my “(MOTTO}” is:
“Snark’em and feed’em Fruit (MINTY SHELL) Loops”!!11!!
I am considering:
If you can Contact TEENA at:
xxx-xxx-xxxx & (PLEASE LEAVE MESSAGE) or
E’mail me back?
Is this a test? I can generally cross Bridges over The Gorge of Incredible Peril, but, I’m not sure what happens if I dial the phone and TEENA is in a different dimensionality than I (and I abjure the Shoutier and (DRAMA)ier Dimensionalities reflexively).
I am confused, too, I tryed to dial nnn-nnn-nnnn + 75323-53283-6377243, but all I get is a catMath dimensional portal for which I have no passcode.
And, please, who or what is this E’mail? Zola, perhaps?
Hmm, is ReQuest some new form of online reference system, perhaps?
What can we find there? Euclid is Minty. Einstein is REAL!!!!!!FUN!!!!? Heisnberg (IS) elebenty!?
It’s like Ask Jeeves, only instead you ask the Refrencess. That’s basically a female reference librarian, only dressed up in a Renaissance gown and tiara.
I’m totally wearing that to work. It will be worth it just for the expressions on people’s faces when they walk past the reference desk.
“What? It’s not like these are casual clothes! I am within the dress code.”
“Lola, you’re still taking cold meds, aren’t you?”
“Yeah … why?”
“It’s a whole melange of the essence of the Renaissance Man, it is an idealized Italian Merchant . . . ”
I get that a lot. That’s why they don’t let me drive the big, red, shiny truck.
*hands Lola the jeweled sceptre*
Don’t forget this, Your Refrencess.
Well maybe the P E R V E R T S came out of the (WOOD WORK BIG TIME) because you put quotes around every 3rd word and that is the universal symbol for innuendo.
By the way, IS there a big time for wood working? Maybe this lady’s timing was just all off and she posted on CL right when the big time for wood work was ending so all the perverts were getting off work.
Heh heh. Wood work. heh heh heh.
“(WOOD WORK BIG TIME)”
Goes that come with squiggly white lines; or cause them?
Or is that only with REAL!!!!!FUN!!!!!Wood tables?
I would rather “CLEAN” and “ORGANZ” (and even “REORGANZ”) my own “HOUSE” all by my”SELF” than have this (DRAMA QUEEN) live in it. Or anywhere near it, really.
Oh, I can “HELP”?, alright…. Just as long as you “UNDERSTAND” what I mean when I say “HELP”?
Maybe it’s “CODE”?
ORGANZING PEOPLE PERSON PLEASE
GOOD KIND HEARTED CAREGIVIVG. HELP RETIRED COUPLE ORGANZING P E R V E R T S. [LOCATION]
HELP REORGANZING BUSINESS. HELP CLEANING, YARDWORK. HOUSE CLEANING ( WOOD WORK BIG TIME )
ATTITUDE MOST RESPECT?. MINE.
MOTTO: RESPECT ( TOTAL SICKO ).
PLEASE ReQuest TEENA (PLEASE LEAVE MESSAGE) [different location] ( TEMPORARY ).
At the 40 Watt, one night only: Organizing P e r v e r t s, supporting their new hit album, “MOTTO: RESPECT (TOTAL SICKO).”
Speaking of which, I didn’t realize until now that there were so many perverts that they had a union.
*shudder*
Member, Local 69.
All of our rules are labeled as 34.
it all makes sense now!
Ooooh – Camille! I detect an “ATTITUDE”. Stay away from TEENA…….
Not to worry. I never visit [LOCATION] and I’m not acquainted with (TOTAL SICKO), so I expect my attitude will never meet Teena’s attitude.
I don’t need to be re-organza-ed. But I could use some re-tulleing. Woolled you do that instead? It won’t take too nylong, and I won’t ask you to do anything that isn’t in accorduroy with your principles.
If you aren’t one of those satin worshippers, I might really cotton to you. And then I might let you stay in my denim. Just don’t tell me any fabricated stories. I’m not a seersucker like some.
That was beautiful ♥
Warp drive, Maureen; Engage.
That seems like a textile be quoting for years to come, Maureen.
“NEED ROOF OVER HEAD”?
I “CAN” [help]?
Call “MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER!
F-ing WIN.
Hold up, wait a minute, let me put some YSaC in it.
If she calls the roofer and is in Perverts Brotherhood International Local 69 with us, is she….roofeed?
Even I would recommend against roofee-ing this poster. But technically, yes.
Well, as a homeowner, I always have roof overhead, even when my roof is not over my head. Fortunately that overhead is low in requiring cash and also high in not bashing persons about the head unexpectedly.
Sadly, I fear my Attitude may offend TEENA, and that will be touble, as I am not relocating to [LOCATION] for her geographic convenience.
OMG, somebody please do a Badger parody animation with a roofer. If Weebl weren’t all rich and famous these days, I would contact him directly with the idea.
That’s what I was thinking jackie. I hear it like that every time I read it.
If she really is too old for “STUPID GAMES” &”DRAMA”, then why does she have “enough” of these in her personal life? Then again, even she admits that this is “questionable”(“?”) – as is so much else about her, apparently.
Wow! I think I’ll introduce her to my carpet cleaner whose not herd from me for three years and will not be righting anymore unless he here’s from me.
*this was a real letter* *heads for large bucket of Merlot and decides never to have carpets cleaned again by W E I R D O S …. but would love a CAREGIVER to scrub the fibres instead*
Ohhh what a post to say this on:
Sorry I’ve been away from here. First, in February, it was a terrible houseguest for a week. Then after that I fell ill… last Sunday I was rushed to the hospital when my appendix burst. While they were operating on me, they found a baseball-sized tumor (their exact words) in my intestines that they also had to remove. I have giant staples holding my belly together now, and it hurts to laugh. I can’t watch any comedy shows or go to sites like this, because I will LITERALLY bust my gut laughing.
And while cause-of-death being a not.a.lion would be amusing, I think I’d like to live a while longer.
See you when I feel better.
~Silva
Oh, poor Silva. Feel better soon, and think only unfunny, non-YSaC thoughts until you’re on the mend.
Dear God, Silva! I’m so sorry for you. While it’s not going to make you feel any better, I’m glad that they found the tumor by fluke and took care of it. Please get some rest if you can. Thank you for letting us know.
Oh, SILVA! I’d wondered where you were as well – missed your wonderful attempts at drawing our comments.
Glad you are getting better, and really hope for you to return once again when you have medical approval to laugh.
Ouch! Having undergone major abdominal surgery two years ago in which they removed, biopsied and/or rerouted various inner workings (and left me with a scar that is a foot long), I can imagine what you’re going through. Hope they gave you some good drugs and that you have people to take care of you (if not Teena is available). Take it real easy.
Hugs.
I’ll pass on Teena. She has too much “ATTITUDE”
I wish I could give you my regenerative powers. 🙁
All good vibes for speedy recovery, SN!
Oh, Silva. That sounds like a really rough recovery you’re in for. I hope you can find some good humorless material to keep you busy. Maybe now’s the time to read Paradise Lost if you haven’t…
Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry. Get well soon, we’re all thinking of you!
*hugs* (gently). Hope you feel better soon.
Oh, Silva. Hope you feel better soon. Miss you. Please take care. *hugs*
The mind (BOGGLES). I just can’t (UNDERSTAND) how anyone could write this (WAY). And Teena, just for the record I have (ATTITUDE) too and believe me, yours will be bested by (MINE) every single time. This is something you don’t want to be (EXPOSED) toooooooooooooo!
And my eyes, brain and fingers hurt from typing this snarky response. Humanity is doomed indeed.
My motto is ‘IF u aren’t smrt enuph tu form a cohearint sentins then I polly don’t (want) u in ‘MY’ ‘House’.
I can hardly imagine why you’re only attracting douchebags.
Hey, some douchebags appreciate a coherently-formed sentence.
Hear, heer!
Is that why you ‘plussed’ me?
It’s one of the reasons.
I’m sure you would tell me the others, but there are too many to list, of course.
So “PLEASE” if there is a “GOOD KIND HEARTED” family or
a “RETIRED COUPLE”, that might need some “HELP” & can’t
afford it?
Teena, Teena, Teena. If they can’t afford it? They can’t afford to have a freeloader either! Free room, board, and probably trips to the therapists for you, huge liability and a bit of house work for them. If you (ASK ME), you need to sweeten this deal. 8)
Sweden the deal, eh? And this, coming from a Norwegian Blue?
Something’s rotten, or fishy, at least, about one of those countries with a scanty navy, I think …
Icelanded on my face for that one. Norway can I make it any better, Isaac.
My “MOTTO” is:
I’ll treat you the way you treat me?
a ( BUNCH MORE ), too much to “LIST”?
“too much to “LIST”?”
(setq Motto T)
(while Motto
(setq Motto (getstring “\nMotto?: “))
(princ Motto)
(terpri)
);end while
Nope, that lists until I’m tired–
Oops, that was “LISP” not “List”; Sorry!
capn:
I do hope you’re not expecting anyone to have any idea what you are talking about.
Actually, I saw parentheses and I immediately thought “LISP!”
That’s exactly what Dan said, but we couldn’t figure out a way to make it funny.
Programming jokes are tough (unless you’re Randall Munroe, apparently).
I’ll treat you the way you treat me. And talk of perverts.
Does this fall under The Golden Rule 34?
If we take the air quotes and other punctuation as indicative of innuendo, this looks like… hmmm…
Most of em can be sex or sexual…
“P E R V E R T S”, “STUPID GAMES”, “DRAMA”, and ( TOTAl SICKO ) = no fetishes or roleplay, please don’t ask
“RETIRED OLDER COUPLE” = old people OK
everything between “MOTTO” and “PLEASE” could = no jerks, I’ll give as good as I get (both during sex and if you’re rude/violent)
( PEOPLE PERSON ) = 3some/gangbang/etc. OK
“GOOD KIND HEARTED” family = I don’t care if you’re married if we don’t get caught
( TEMPORARY ) is her not wanting to admit the truth about her profession
“Referencess upon ReQuest” = either she’ll cyber you on MMOs or some of her customers have reviewed her
Anyone got anything else for these?
I don’t know if even Graham and I would have gone that far.
Yes, even you and I wait for more commonly-used innuendo before launching into our usual antics.
Get A Room.
I had no reason to say that whatsoever. It was just nice to see both of you here. I haven’t been around for about 10 days.
Here’s my avatar. Exhaustion posting. Put in wrong email address.
This is why I lurk… my mind goes to very weird places 90% of the time, and I don’t want to cause any more brain-bleaching than absolutely necessary.
Yay, JG!
Well it’s a good thing you aren’t *ahem* anal about the proper phrasing of ‘you and I’.
Did someone invoke the possibility of pickiness with respect to pronouns?
(It’s like saying Beetlejuice three times, I tell you.)
But I don’t see any problem with what Graham has done there, HHNF.
Not.A.Commenter: Keep Posting! Going weird places mentally is what this blog is all about. Well, that and stupidity on CL. 8) Besides, I heard a rumor* that research is being done to find a handy, one-use, aerosol spray version of brain bleach.
*This may be totally made up by me just now.
The ad I’m getting on my page is for “Cougar Life – Looking for Young Men Like You”.
I saw that. I’m neither terribly young nor male. Adbots are great, aren’t they …?
We need cougars to join to maintain the community, Lola. 😛
“Maintain”… is that what the kids are calling it these days?
As long as they have Cost-ello’s with them. That’s why we need them.
I’m going to blame those ads on all of our talk about lions and not.a.lions.
It’s true that cougars are not lions.
They are, however, mountain lions.
Also, catamounts, pumas, and jaguars. They’re a critter with a lot of names.
Augh! No! Not! A! Jagular!
It’s panthers, not jaguars, that are the same critter as cougars.
I realized this mistake as I was drifting off to sleep last night, and almost sprang out of bed to fix it, but then thought the better of it. Still, color me embarrassed.
Interesting fact: I’ve had this critter as a mascot at two different schools. I went to a high school with the cougar as a mascot, and now I teach where the mascot is the catamount.
sarajean, feel better, here’s your punchity-punch-punch, and don’t forget to set your clocks ahead 1 hour if you live in a state that does that crap. 8)
Oh hoorah! If you guys are changing your clocks I may have some chance of arriving before all the good snark is taken. It’s the only downside of living in the land of eternal sunshine. 😉
I’m shocked, SHOCKED, that no one has posted or mentioned the old Chris Farley “Bennett Brauer” sketch, where he would put EVERYTHING in air quotes. I heard this entire thing in that exact voice.
I’d post the link here, but my work computer can’t even handle that. Gotta love 1994 POS computers for work. AAAHHHH, technology.
That’s the first thing that came to my mind as well.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/2331/saturday-night-live-update—bennett-brauer
Well, she could always go and live in a van down by the river.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcR7hr4LLQg
I can’t even “think” of a good [comment] right now.
And btw, I’m not a “pervert” or anything- that’s not what “we” call ourselves “anymore”.
People named Tina generally are bad news, Teenas are that much worse. I picture someone with ashtray breath, a greasy ponytail, a boob tube and too- short shorts over a lumpish body, flip flops, and a useless teenage son named something like Kayler or Skyden.