YSaC, Vol. 501: What’s the matter with (some) kids today?
2009 November 30
free pitbull
free 1year old male pitbull to a good home.house trained and is great with kids but not so well other kids. SERIOUS PEOPLE ONLY. call or text ###.###.#### for more info only
Aww.. cute little doggy. Let’s bring the kids to meet him!
Aww… the cute little doggy likes little Brittney!
Aww… the cute little doggy likes little Chandler!
Aww… the cute little doggOH GOD THE BLOOD!! OH DEAR LORD GET IT OFF!! NO, YOU IDIOT, BULLETS ONLY MAKE IT ANGRY!!
Thanks for the link, Jonathan!
Kids, you can’t smile or laugh or play in front of the dog, or he might kill you. He’s a SERIOUS PEOPLE ONLY dog. Otherwise, have fun!
Interesting picture. Is this the last thing you see if you’ve broken the “serious people only” rule?
Yes. He’s taking the photo while hanging from the ceiling fan. Next week he’ll be selling a “perfect” ceiling fan on Craigslist.
Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of dog fur? Ungrateful brat. Go bleed somewhere else!
Just use a little hydrogen peroxide, it’s great at getting out blood. Just be sure to be careful when you’re cleaning the dog to keep a very SERIOUS demeanour lest you contribute to the blood to be cleaned.
I added the u to demeanor on purpose, just to show how serious I am. Okay, I didn’t realize it was spelled incorrectly until too late. Maybe I should stop communicating with so many Canadians.
I think it’s spelled:
Canadiauns
Kelli – I’m British – demeanour is fine with me !
Demeanour de better – eh princess?
So the house is trained and great with kids but other kids are not so well? I’d love a trained house, but I fear I am not SERIOUS enough.
Plus if you bring the wrong kids into the house it’ll go all “Rose Red” on you.
Red Rum?
No, “Rose Red” is code for “Deresor”
Bianchi Sound:
Oh,I get it! As in:
“This deresor has 5, maybe 8 derewars [that’s Craigslistian Sucklingo for drawers and/or lawnchairs] in it”
i got a red table for sale. take it for free!
“Craigslistian Sucklingo” is my new favorite thing ♥
I did the translation thingy just for you sarajean.
Dear Sir or Madam,
We here at Camp Mirthless would like to avail ourselves of your kind offer. None of our children are other kids and are all very, very serious indeed. Your dog would serve both as our Official Camp Mascot and as a testing device to verify that the child in question meets our stringent entrance requirements.
Please sign the attached waiver and insurance documents. If you have a sense of humor, please feel free to insert the joke of your choice here if it would make you more comfortable. Please do not do so in the presence of the dog.
Thank you.
When did they change the name from Camp Lack-O-Haha?
In Soviet Russia, you eat pit bull.
I can’t believe no one’s asked this question yet. This is not a joke. OK, so I understand about how we people have to be serious, but what about Serious Cat? It doesn’t say anything about cats at all, much less Serious Cat. I am a serious person and have my serious cat and want this serious dog. I guess I will have to call “for more info only.” I love the “only” – that’s so I only call for info, not pizza or dial-an-escort, I guess. Is the info only about the dog, or can I get the time and weather? What about dial-a-prayer? Is that info or advice?
Damn you! That’ll teach me not to take a swig of soda while reading this website.
:::mutters while getting towel to wipe off keyboard and nursing baby:::
for me it was crumbs. I guess we’re just not serious enough then huh? No dog for us.
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f144/structurecop/srsdog.jpg
My question regarding the “for more info only” number is this: if I call for info, and like what I hear (doubtful, as it’s likely to be along the lines of “arglbargl buy my dog for free OBO bargl”, but let us suspend disbelief momentarily), do I then get given a _different_ number to call in order to communicate my desire to obtain said dog?
After all, the number is “for more info only”, and as a SERIOUS PERSON I am obliged to adhere to that direction.
I want to see the wedding of Serious Dog and Serious Cat. It’ll be a joyous occasion….or not.
looks like the owner took the picture from his phone while stuck on top of the fridge, as he was waiting for the dog to find someone else to bite.
“Don’t climb trees while being chased by bears. They will climb the trees or wait at the bottom until you descend. Then they will eat you.”
Same thing goes for when you are attacked by hordes of vicious squirrels.
Really? The only bears i’m familiar with are the koala variety (and they aren’t actually bears at all). Pit-bulls are now a banned breed since they have eaten so many children over the past 10 years. I’m bizzarely fascinated by large land-based creatures that have the ability to spend the afternoon going “nom nom nom” on a random human limb. My recent holiday in Canada was mostly spent reading “bear eats stupid human feeding it dog food” stories and i’m very happy we don’t have bears or pit-bulls in oz – except of course for the little seen “drop-bear”……..
Drop bears FTW!! My first trip to Aussie with little brother in tow, I told him all about them, and my parents were so confused as to why he refused to walk under trees for the whole two weeks… Ah, innocent youth.
you aussies might not have pit bulls, but I hear your dingoes are way worse. also, what the heck kind of pit bulls were you guys breeding that ATE children?!
But arallyn – what about the dingos?
ok, not quite “ate” but certainly took some rather large bites out of them that either killed the kid, or scarred them for life – mentally as well as physically.
I’m sure it is the same the world over, but there is a certain sector of the population in Australia who like to compensate for their own lack of power* by investing in a large car/dog/gun/speedboat/whatever and sadly, when these guys choose a dog, they choose one that is perceived as “tough” and then train/neglect/abuse it so that it becomes a menace. Sad for the dog and sad for any creature that is attacked by it.
As an aside, Dingoes are wild dogs – extremely wily and intelligent, but generally shy until trained to not fear humans through being offered food (just like bears). Unfortunately, all of the attacks on humans by dingoes have been by dogs that have been fed by humans.
What Australian society and the media did to Lindy and Michael Chamberlain is the modern-day equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials.
…/Close rant.
* read: penis size
I’m thinking that little guy couldn’t cause much damage. He looks like he weighs about 2 pounds in that photo. Like a pocket pit bull. I wonder if I could carry him around in a little pink doggie carrier, a la Paris Hilton. But he’s probably too serious to to appreciate that.
No, not pink. Pink is not a serious color. Black maybe. Or gray…gray would be good…
A nice sensible, serious one, maybe in heather grey boiled wool? With a nice linen pinstripe number for warmer weather.
are you sure pinstripes wouldn’t be too “racy”? maybe just a plain one to be safe?
I think a pale grey on grey pinstripe would add a touch of spring whimsy while still being very SERIOUS. And it would match the dog.
I love that you managed to get the words “whimsy” and “serious” both into the same sentence
This dog is too serious to make fun of.
I guess that if the mine hores don’t do the job getting rid of kids, you can sic a free pitbull on them?
All the people in this response assuming pitbulls are mean and bite make me sad. They’re actually very friendly and cuddly if they’re trained. He’s probably a very good dog. Unfortunately the wording of the listing is… not so good.
Hope he finds a nice home.
I don’t think anyone here outright assumes that pit bulls are bad dogs…any dog can be good or bad depending on training. We’re just making fun of how the ad points out that this dog is “not so good” with some kids…i.e. it’s attacked at least one kid while not attacking others.
On a side note, that probably means this dog is a fear biter and should never go to a home with kids.
I’m 99% sure this person meant to type “good with kids, not so much with other DOGS”. Pit bulls are frequently dog aggressive.
actually, i’m sure that some dogs, like some humans, are actually just bad people. my neighbours golden retriever (yes, golden retriever) has attacked two visitors to it’s home, and then destroyed the brand-new labradoodle puppy it was supposed to “brother”, the day after he arrived in his new home. I’m sorry, but this is just a bad dog – it had decent training and was well loved. so well loved in fact, that the owner has not had him destroyed even after all of that. My kids are now not allowed to visit that house.
Ehhhh…no matter HOW loved and cared for a dog is, they can be COMPLETELY incorrectly trained by people who suck at training, and thus do that. Have you ever watched any dog training shows (do they even have them on TV in Aussie-land)? Never mind the debate between what training method is “correct”; both are able to work on this problem.
From time to time there are extremely dog-aggressive dogs on those shows that are mended of their ways. Of course, supervision after any incident like that is ALWAYS advisable, no matter how long the dog’s been good, but it really shows that some people just don’t know how to train dogs.
On a personal note, I have a rescue golden retriever who was given up because he wouldn’t respond to his name (even though he wasn’t taught to know it), and because he bit a kid at a pool party. We’ve had him for 6 years now, and the closest he’s ever come to biting us is one time when I tried to pull him out of his cave by the collar when we just got him. A child could gnaw on his face and he’d just lick them.
Those EYES, those terrible black pits, the unfathomable abyssal depths from which no light, no joy, no happiness can escape …
I can feel them on me!
The dog is trying to steal my soul!!
AHHHHHHHH!!!
…so…cold…
It’s ok Sarajean, just relax, it will all be over soon. Serious dog won’t bite if you don’t fight.
For a second there I thought you were quoting Hound of the Baskervilles.
That doesn’t look like a pitbull to me, more of a chihuahua/ pitbull mix. Nothing says serious dog like a chihuahua.
I just choked on my tea!
I started thinking about a chihuahua and a pitbull and the different ways you would combine them…It got a little “Debbie does Animal Planet” after that.
tea? what kind of tea makes you choke!? need to avoid choke tea.
It is a lovely Orange Pekoe with a lot of sugar, served over ice with a dash of lemon juice.
Looks more like a pitbull that’s so underfed it’s looking at the photographer as food (hence why he’s photographing on the fridge)
Pitbulls can be loving, gentle dogs. If all they are ever taught is how to fight, then that’s what they do.
well, sure. It’s that way with kids, too.
Now I just choked on MY tea.
“not so well other kids” I’m going to assume that means kids who sit on him and try to ride him, pull his ears or take his food out his bowl for their own “taste”. If that’s the case, then I guess I should never be in a home with ‘some’ kids. It is a serious thing when someone takes food off my plate and I flip if someone touches my ears..
Maybe I should opt to have my tubes tied.. Thank you, serious people only, dog!
I thought it means that other kids make him sick.
The dog must be watching his diet.
Sarajean, awesome. Best pun in the bunch. 8)
Only psychopaths who want to expose their children to dangerous animals with hairtrigger tempers need apply…
Uh-oh, I’m sensing some serious breedism here. Pit bulls are no more likely to maul a child than any other breed. They are naturally very sweet toward humans. In fact they’re commonly used as therapy dogs because of their incredibly happy and energetic personalities. High-energy, yes, but mean, no.
Giving away a pit bull without a steep adoption fee, however, is monumentally stupid. You might as well tie a bow around his neck and leave him on Michael Vick’s doorstep.
With very few exceptions, mean dogs are that way because they’ve been taught to be. Pit bulls, in my own personal and anecdotal experience have been as cleasel describes – good dogs if no one is training them to be mean. I’ve seen them let kids climb/crawl all over them with the apparent understanding that the kids are just playing. One of the friendliest dogs I ever pet-sat was a pit mix and she adored anyone who wasn’t male – again, that was down to training. She’d been rescued from a situation where a man/men had been mistreating her and while she’d gotten more used to them, she still wanted to protect me from my dad when he came along, even though he was invited and a total pet lover.
My guess with this dog is that either kids have mistreated it and it reacted accordingly, or as someone says above, it’s a typo and they meant to say it doesn’t like other dogs.
Per their “serious” comment, my thought is that you’ll get people who are seriously interested in acquiring this dog for reasons that would not be good for the dog as well as people who were serious about having the dog as a normal pet, and that what they really should have specified was “no asschapeaux.” I think they’re the people they’re really trying to keep away.
/soapbox
i’m not serious at all. so, no doggie for me.
So…others may have already said this, but while I usually love YSACL, this one smarts a little. Definitely a craptastic ad, and scary to think of the person on the other end of the keyboard. But lay off the pit bull jokes, already. They’re not bad dogs. They’ve just had a bad rap. (See what I did there?)
And now back to your regularly-scheduled sucking…
For the record, I meant no disrespect towards pit bulls as a breed. I agree wholeheartedly that dog behavior is 99% nurture.
The only problem is the sort of idiots who train dogs to be aggressive tend to buy pit bulls, thus reinforcing the perception.
I was just mocking the ad itself, not pit bulls in general. “Good with kids, and not so good with other kids.” Really?
I think the problem was more with breedist commenters who have only taken in the bad news about the breed and left their judgment at that. So in that way, I guess the problem is more with the media than with the commenters, even. 😛
The Satanic Poms forbid me to take in this dog.
ALL HAIL …
I pink puffy heart you for using the name Chandler!
Don’t confuse Black Bears with Grizzlies and Pit Bulls; their temperment is completely different.
Humans killed by Pit Bulls in the U.S. from 1979-1998: 76 (source)
Humans killed by Black Bears in the U.S. from 1979-1998: 2 (source)
Pit Bulls can be sweet dogs; they still have more powerful jaws than others, and can inflict more damage. If one brand of automobile were responsible for 32% of collisions, there would be some drastic restrictions on ownership.
More people are mauled by labs than any other breed. A toddler was killed by a Pomeranian in Houston a few years ago. The media REPORTS pit bull attacks more than other dog attacks because “pit bull” is a hot button term right now. You never hear about “Staffordshire attacks”. In the ’70s it was Dobermans who supposedly did all the attacking, for a while it was German Shepherds, then it was Rottweilers… it’s not a rise in maulings by a particular breed, just a rise in how/if they are reported. Pits are also associated with gang culture (undeservedly) and the media just LOVES to scare white America with stories that allude to scary minority gangs.
And yes, it is true that the type of person who would keep a pit bull as a fashion accessory and abuse or neglect it to the point that it became vicious, is also the type of person who would have a crappy fence and little regard for neighborhood children in the first place. But again, that’s the person’s fault, not the dog’s. And again, it could be any breed – pit bulls just happen to be hot right now.
Statistically, you need to look at the ratio of dogs to attacks. If you look at THAT (which is actually an indicator of how likely a BREED is to attack [not saying anything about individual dogs]) , almost all dogs with naturally pointy ears are shown to be much more dangerous than labs (which are by far the most common and therefore have the most attacks) or pit bulls (which the media just hates on). German Shepards, Alaskan Malamutes, Huskies, anything like that. They all rank above both of those breeds.
It’s not an exact analogy but think of it as this: LA has X murders a year. New Orleans has 1/2X murders a year. But New Orleans is considered roughly 18 times more violent because it has 1/9th the population of LA.
I think you mean 4.5 times as violent, right? (You make a good point, but, y’know, maths.)
Notice that people don’t go on rants about banning labradors or beagles? Because they haven’t been known to maul small children. Let’s worry about the safety of children first, and then worry about whether or not people get to keep their dogs with locking jaws.
But then again, labradors and beagles aren’t known to be bred just to be vicious fighters, such as many people like to do with pit bulls. I’ve seen many a pit bull on Animal Cops taken out of a horrible enviornment and adopted into loving homes with people who will take the time and effort to train and love the dog. They need a lot of work.
/opinion
Labs maul more people than any other breed, we just don’t hear about it. Any large dog can be dangerous if it’s not well-socialized. They are carnivores, after all.
Oddly enough, I DO know somebody who got mauled by a Labrador. I’ll admit that it’s pretty unusual though.
Come ON, people. Try to keep up. This was posted DAYS ago. 8)