YSaC, Vol. 499: Not what Milton had in mind.
2009 November 28
“CLIMBING SKELETON ” SMALL SIDE TABLE*****TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!!!
” Skeletons climbing out of hell ” side table . Measures a little over a foot and a half tall . Round glass top. Pretty solid little table , its got some weight for its small size!! Great to have at your halloween party or everyday at your crib.Call if you want it !!
### ###-#### asking 75 bucks or best !!!!!!
LOOK AT THIS!!!
Oh cripes.. do I have to? This person can’t even figure out how to rotate these pictures right way up, so instead of crawling OUT of hell, the skeletons appear to be crawling sideways through hell, in a motion picture I can only assume will be co-directed by Oliver Stone and Tim Burton.
Thanks for the submission, Cindy!
So that is where Aunt Milly’s kids went to. I remember everybody was playing hide and seek at the last family gathering but could have sworn that someone called “Ally Ally In Come Free”. Guess they didn’t hear it. Quick, throw the tablecloth back over it.
Yes. I am a very twisted person.
Yeah, there’s your problem right there. The line is ” All ye, all ye outs in free.” Poor kids never had a chance.
We always said “Olly olly oxen free.” I did not know then and still do not know now what that’s supposed to mean.
that’s how we always said it as children where I live, but I’m no wiser on the original of it.
what little research I could be bothered to do came up with various supposed origins, all different. It’s clearly a phrase that’s been changed over time by those repeating what they thought they heard, as often happens.
It’s an eggcorn for “alle, alle, auch sind frei” – All are free.
Oh ho! I learned a new word!
EGGCORN : IDIOM :: MONDEGREEN : LYRICS
Likewise; I love the stuff that one can learn on this site.
Eggcorn!
Learn something new every day.
There’s a whole database:
http://eggcorns.lascribe.net/
Oh sure, when *I* try to teach y’all something nobody cares. Let PapaSloth do it and everyone goes crazy!
Don’t mind me, I’ll just sit here in the dark.
(I’m joking, by the way.)
:::pats drmk on the head::: It’s okay. I learned it from you. Promise! :-*
It’s just like that story from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark with the girl who got locked in a trunk playing hide and go seek.
What a thing to see first thing in the morning. Serves me right for checking YSaC right off.
Just think, if you bought it, you could use it as a bedside table and see it first thing in the morning every day!
I hope someone arrives soon with the eye bleach as I’m in desperate need.
I guess I can see this working for a Halloween party, but “everyday at your crib”? First, I don’t have a crib as I’m not a “gangsta” wanna be, I live in a home, like most normal people do. Second, I wouldn’t let that hideous thing anywhere near my home. And thirdly, well I think I’ll just go with the traditional comments of “eewww” and “what the hell?”
I was thinking of the psych counseling a baby would need in later years if you put this monstrosity in their crib.
Thank goodness I saw this. I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with a Christmas gift for the guys in Megadeth.
Is that what it’s for? I was thinking, “Great Dia de los Muertos decoration for next year! I’ll be the envy of all of my Mexican neighbors!”
Seriously, though, Milton, Dante, Goya, Rodin (after his gates of hell sequence) and Bosch are probably all spinning in their respective graves right now at such a poorly-rendered vision of the afterlife.
The rest of the year, when it’s not the Day of the Dead, I think the wisest move, from both the decorative and theological viewpoints, would be to have it covered over with an altar cloth, one regularly sprinkled with holy water.
I have to have it!!! When I picture my currently hypothetical wedding, THAT is EXACTLY what I picture for my sweetheart table!!!
Hell, have a cake made in replication and put THAT on this table! It would be SWEET! And maybe, just maybe, your cake could end up on cakewrecks, too! Double bonus for a wedding to remember.
Oh, and all I can picture aside from my lovely “skulls climbing out of Hell” wedding, are the old episodes of the Batman tv show, when Batman and Robin would be climbing “up” a building, but in reality were just walking sideways across a set, and later they would just flip the film.
“Oh, it’s SO TOUGH to climb UP out of Hell, isn’t it guys??? Yeah, it’s really hard to climb UP this way…”
Trying to figure out the scenario here. Does the seller have to move back in with his folks and they said, “No effing way is that thing coming into our house!”? Or engaged/newly married and his wife-to-be-/wife said, “My folks will freak if they see that!”?
“75 bucks or best!!!!!!” “Best” what? The six exclamation points tells me that it better be a good “best”, maybe even the best “best” ever. Great. “Best!”? I could handle that. Maybe even “best!!” or “best!!!”. “Best!!!!!!”? That implies something like, “your best small golden statuette of a rare monkey god from Flangdoobia, hand-engraved by Capuchin monks in their off-hours and inlaid with rubies”. Now I’ll spend the rest of the day totally bummed out thinking that my “best” just can’t measure up.
+1 for “Flangdoobia.”
Obviously the seller meant to say “…beast!!!!!!”
I like the way you think. Let’s see….$75 or Cthulu. Sounds about right; all that table needs is a timeless, eldritch squid-god. Perfect!
That will be perfect for the nursery I am planning on building as soon as I get a cup of that $200 sperm.
Or 75$ worth of tamales.
Judging from the disproportionate mandible and maxillae of the skeleton in front, this should actually be titled “missing links climbing out of hell.”
I dunno…Maybe it’s a bad photo, but to me it looks more like a skeleton orgy in a vat of melted Laffy Taffy.
I enjoyed the absurdity of a skeleton orgy because all of our naughty bits are made of flesh.
I don’t think it is possible to take a good photo of that crime against nature.
Making it the right way up would have helped though. On second thoughts, maybe it’s safer viewing it from this angle, perhaps right way up it steals your soul?
For a minute I wasn’t sure whether “that crime against nature” referred to the table or the skeleton orgy. Naturally, my first thought was “They bring photographers?”
Why am I now thinking of skeletons boning?
*looks for the corner*
It looks as if Dante and Bosch commissioned a side table from an artist who usually works in a velvet and oil media using clowns, dogs, kittens, and Elvis as their subject.
http://velveteria.com/
Dante was my first thought, too. This should have been listed in infernoture.
lost_compass…you win.
I think there should be an “infernoture” tag, for the housewares and movables of the damned. The sandpapery hot pink sofa would surely also qualify; the magical accordion-playing sofa probably would, too.
“Housewares and Moveables of the Damned” is either an album title, or a Neil Gaiman short story title; I can’t decide which.
it works better as the latter option for me Lola
Gaiman for the win, Lola!
funny, I have some of Gaiman’s Batman stuff in my bag right now.
Only $75!? There is going to be a bidding war for this bad boy.
I hope the guy has reserved a spot at the library, and will be wearing a red shirt so we can know who will be taking our bids.
Awesome. If only I lived near this library I could have that dragon lamp (or chandelier) AND this table and the in-laws would fear stepping into my house. :::insert evil laugh here:::
This looks like some manic-depressive college student’s idea of art. Melted crayons with some reference to death and struggle. Terrific.
Just for the record, not all bipolar people are completely crackers. Those of us who want to be stable have a lot of resources available to us. And even when I wasn’t stable, my art never looked that horrible. Next time, leave the stereotypes out of it.
*Shrug* Stereotypes are only a problem if you let yourself be bothered by them, I suppose. And many of them are true, to an extent.
For example, speaking as a manic-depressive college student… yes, this does look like something I might appreciate more during my more manic periods.
Except it would likely be more as a “Wow… let me count the colors that Satan threw up on this thing” kind of thought than an actual appreciation for the artistic value.
It’s probably just me, but looking at those skulls tilted to the side like that, I can just feel them gnawing on my face in the middle of the night. Not a threatening, violent gnaw, just a very annoying and persistent one. Like a cat you have to keep swatting away from your face while you lay in bed.
And what are we drinking this morning, arallyn?
whatever it is I think I’d like some
Psh, that’s just how my brain is. I picture things gnawing on faces for some reason. Not an eating-type gnaw, but an OM NOM NOM type gnaw, with the gnawer vacantly looking off into space and the gnawee trying to swat them off.
now there speaks someone who has woken up to find their hand, face, pillow etc. all soggy and wondered why, only to realise that the cat has been sleepily “gnawing” on it for a while.
I’ve had many a soggy pillow myself.
Dev, I once had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow. . .
You’ve met my cat, then.
This post triggers one of my paper-marking pet peeves: everyday as a time.
Everyday is an adjective. It means ordinary or pedestrian.
Sure, spellcheck knows it’s a word; that doesn’t mean it’s the word (or words) you want.
If you do something every day, it might be an everyday activity. But astronauts, bank robbers, ghostbusters, etc. do some pretty unusual things daily at their cribs without becoming quotidian, and I think anyone who displayed this monstrous piece of infernoture (thanks, lost_compass) at home would hardly be an everyday soul.
/diction rant
Diction Rant gets a 5.0, 4.9, and a tough 3.9 from the Soviet judge, who laughs at our silly grammar.
In Soviet Russia, adjectives decline you!
Isaac, even Sly and the Family Stone know this.
I feel an “in soviet russia…..” style post looming.
In Soviet Russia, sentence parses you!
table of the dammed could be a good band name. or not.
STEPHEN ROOT IS A KLINGON!
Wut?
awww, do we have our very own troll? How sweet.
I think he didn’t understand the title and Stephen Root played the role of Milton in the movie Office Space.
Maybe he’s just playing the “suggest a band name” game.
I think you might be right Ed, judging by the latest post. Someone clearly didn’t get the reference there.
Yeah, but that would suck as a band name. It would be one of those pretentious folk/fusion bands who are only playing folk music because it’s “hip”.
Stephen Root did play a Klingon in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. And yes, I am a giant-ass nerd. 😀
naDevvo’ yIghoS.
Loved you in News Radio, Jimmy James! Been watching it on Hulu.
This will go great with my French Pervential sofa.
I SHALL FEAST ON THE FLESH OF MY ENEMIES AND REST MY “HANG IN THERE” COFFEE MUG ON THEIR BONES.
Don’t forget about hearing the lamentations of their women.
The stench will be great.
What is this even made out of? I’m guessing it’s resin.
Do we have a “resin” tag?
If it’s made of resin, it’s got to be bong resin.
And yes, bong resin is my band name, so don’t try to take it!
I was thinking this looked like something you’d get in a smoke shop. I can’t wait to get a plaster topless Native American guy wearing a headdress with a pipe and a bow and arrow to put on top of it.
I think you’re exactly right, Moxie. Someone who was crazy about their local headshop’s wares and had collected enough of them to use as a unifying design theme throughout their parent’s basement got their hands on some money and contracted someone to match their horrible taste in interior decor.
I can totally picture this. The headdress has a hidden latch and when you open it up, there’s a cache for cigarettes.
I want this so bad I’m tempted to call the local community college art department and have them make me a replica. I think its fucking awesome.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the French predestinational style.
So we went to Milton’s Deli and asked for a table for two. You wouldn’t believe where they put us! Right near the kitchen, at a cramped table that was sitting sideways on the floor, and my soup fell right off. I am never going back there again!
Well, it is a side table. Perhaps it is supposed to be on its side like that. It is even a solid side table. I guess that means that it is capable of holding up its own significant weight while gently resting on the wall.
I’m still looking for corey tags. I am having trouble seeing anything after looking at those pictures. Sorry.
They do it with magnets.
Timing is everything, folks. I think this “art” piece would sell much better now since the dawn of “The Walking Dead” in 2010. It has a sense of that hot zombie vibe trend in interior design currently in vogue. Sparky could probably ask $76 and GET it, no questions asked. *nodding sagely*
Also, this post reminds me of all the lovely commenters of years past…for example, where has our dear Lola gone? Did lost_compass and Ed Snyder sail away? Has Isaac been lost in a sea of papers to grade? Hello? Send up a flare!
Lola, I believe, is still alive and well, but she had an issue with keeping people’s YSaC names separate from their Facebook names.
Ed has had a lot more kids. He’s raising goats.
Isaac and his wife had a child, and school started up, and well, that’s all the time he had.
Lost_compass is, apparently, lost.
Thanks for the update, Mama Windy. 🙂
Happy trails, everyone!
A punch for me, a punch for ghostie, A Punchity Punch Punch for us! Hooray!
Good Morning, Walking Dead Interior Designs!