Mine hores rid sevice kids love it Bday and kids events – $1
we do mine hores rids and pony rids and hores rids for kids events cheep Call Daryl at ###-###-####
I strongly suspect the horse may have written the ad for Daryl.
Thanks for the link, Leigh!
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So I’m convinced this is a pimp advertising his services for birthday parties
Mine hores rids? Awesome- I have been LOOKING for a service that will rid me of my pesky mine hore infestation. They’re just swarming ALL OVER the coal mine in my backyard, humping things and looking slutty, and it is becoming a problem with the neighbors.
Granted, my kids love it…but I am beginning to wonder if it is good for them to be playing with mine hores all day. Concerned about their moral fiber, etc and so forth.
“Mine hore” sounds like it should be a critter from Halflife 2.
“Mine hore” makes me think of an amateur-dramatics production of “Cabaret,” with the song that goes “Farewell Mien Lieber Herr” only it’s done by some lady in the midwest who can’t get the accent and doesn’t know what herr even means.
This, plus pony rides, is giving me weird mental images.
Any clue what the blond lady in the first photo is doing? Marionettes? Invisible Rope Tricks? Or is SHE the mime? *shudder*
I have heard of french maid, nurse, and schoolgirl fantasies. But miner is new to me. What exactly do mine hores wear? Just one of those hats with a light on them while you ride them? Do they shout out “going down!” as they turn on their little light and .get busy on the …um…mine shaft?
Come drop your golf pencil in our mine shaft.
I dated a guy who could be compared to a golf pencil. I did not let him, er, drop it. I suspected it would be difficult to locate.
No more hores in the mine! Yay! I want a rid for Christmas this year!
He must be German.
Oh mine horse rid, to me you are so beautiful…
I don’t think it was the horse doing the typing. Judging from the way he signs off, I think Daryl is a pullet, or perhaps a very young rooster with a typewriter.
cheep!
I’m calling PETA right now! Making those poor ponies carry those hores around! I don’t care if they are really young, inexperienced hores, someone needs to put a stop to it.
for once, something that sounds like a good deal.
This guy will rid your mine of hores for only a dollar. Now I ask you, where else are you going to get an offer like that in the current financial climate?
Don’t forget that Daryl will also get rid of your ponys! Very handy for when your mine is infested with both ponys AND hores. Not that it happens often.
we do mine hores rids
and pony rids
and hores rids
OK.
But what about mine pony rids?
If you’ve got mine ponys, I’ll do a rid for you, but it’s going to cost more—at least $1.50—because mine ponys are pretty complicated creatures.
I would so go see “The Mine Ponies” in concert.
I have a friend who used to be in a band called The Mules of Presidio County. Close enough? (Now, though, I think the band is called The Pleasures of Merely Circulating.)
Their first album could be “Kids Love It.”
I read that as “mime hores rids”, which conjured up some really funny pictures in my head
You and me both. I was going back and forth in my mind, thinking of a pony painted up like a mime, and a mime hooker. I’m not sure which is funnier.
The Mine Hore has wicked stats..
Level 20
HP 1038
MP 349
STR 19
VIT 10
*nerd*
PAIN!!!
Devils! Eternity ends. The chamber of the ages. The altar of tomorrow! Murderers! Stop them. Kill! Strike back! Monsters!
(NO KILL I)
Isaac, I love it when you talk nerdy to me. 8)
Mine horta rid sevice kids love it Bday and kids events – $1
we do mine horta rids and horta rids for kids events cheep Call Spock at ###-###-####
very, very good. arcane, wonderful.
I want to cast “Magic Missile”.
I should give the “Mine Hore” stats to my significant other to put in his next campaign. He hates his players, anyway. B)
I contest that a horse wrote this ad! Horses may be stupid, but they’re smarter than this guy.
I get the feeling that “Daryl” even spelled his name wrong.
No kidding. He even spelled bidet wrong!
I had just noticed that. I am disconcerted by the notion of an outdoor, horse-powered bidet. But I suppose the old ways are the best ways. Maybe Daryl (or Darly?) is Amish.
maybe he’s another one who types with a fork?
It’s nice that Clever Hans has moved up from arithmetic to actual typing.
“Mine hores rid sevice kids” – I parsed that as “My whores will rid you of young people who provide services.” Got neighbourhood kids pestering you to pay them for driveway shovelling or lawn mowing? Our terrifying, aging, toothless prostitutes will chase them away for good!
Seriously, though, what is this person trying to say? I get the horseback ride part, I’m just having trouble with the “mine”. “MINI-horse”, maybe?
That’s what I thought, too. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I’m very worried about these people being responsible for animals that they can’t even spell.
“Our terrifying, aging, toothless prostitutes will chase them away for good!” Service kids, or anyone, really. I’d get moving if those sort of ladies were after me!
I’m sitting here in the mall laughing at my computer like an idiot… I love this site.
Thank goodness! Someone’s taking a stand to do something to get rid of the hores around here! We got your pimps hanging around the street corners, buttonholing every single guy that walks by and wearing funny clothes and I just don’t know what the hell a BJ is!! Bon Jovi? I don’t need no danged guys with big hair roaming my streets either; them hores is bad ‘nough. I just want…what’s that you say? Ummmm….never mind.
It’s unlawful in 47 States to ride whores while children are present.
Which three states are the enlightened ones?
Isn’t “Unlawful in 47 States” IF’s Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash cover band?
Many years ago, my folks lived in a small town that had a poorly edited weekly newspaper. One day, mum was reading dad his horoscope which said “You have a tendency to change hores in mid-stream.” That provided much entertainment to us all for the rest of dad’s life.
I am more than a little concerned that the mine hore carts appear to be under the control of the rid kids w/o Daryl or Larry (his blond assistant). Granted, Larry is giving charade-style instructions on how to perform the “Little Goat Herd” from “The Sound of Music” but will that stop a runaway mine hore cart?
Safety first, people, that’s all I’m sayin’.
I can’t believe how consistent the misspellings are on this post. They may be totally wrong but at least they get it wrong every time… 🙂
can i blow them up real good, please. i’d like to be RID of them and their speeling. and the inanity. oh, the inanity.
In Soviet Russia (and other wonderful places) hore rides you.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this was perhaps written by a Mennonite or someone similar who wanted to offer their homegrown services but has had virtually no experience operating a computer.
Also, reading it aloud sounds like some other legitimate language structure but not English.
Mennonites are allowed technology, so maybe it was someone Amish who was dictating to a helpful, but poorly-spelling neighbor?
No, I’m pretty sure it was the little kid. My horse can type better than that.
This reminds me of the Far Side cartoon where the mailman approaches a house where the dog is skulking in the bushes waiting for him, having replaced the “Beware of Dog” sign with a clumsily scrawled “DOG OK.”
My sister’s car got hit by one of these things. Then again, she commutes to work through Amish country.
Tip: don’t expect Amish people to have insurance.
Actually, I think they were Mennonites. But I don’t think either of ’em will be reading this, so eff’em.
The future Mr. Fish (and no, not Abe Vigoda) and I stayed at a resort last year that had a bidet, and we can both agree that this plumbing feature will be included in our piscine home. It certainly beats pony rides and mine hores.
A pony already is a mini-horse, so what other kind of “mine” horses could he be referring to?
Also, maybe instead of service, he meant to type seviche?:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/seviche
Definition of SEVICHE
: a dish of raw fish marinated in lime or lemon juice often with oil, onions, peppers, and seasonings and served especially as an appetizer
… nope, scratch that. A free meal with your $1 “rid” sounds good, but the kids wouldn’t “love it” until they learn to appreciate sushi first. XD
I hate to disagree with you on a beautiful Saturday morning, but ponies are a breed unto themselves, while mini-horses are much, much smaller. Like dogs and foxes, and then miniature poodles. Sorta.
I hate to do it, but I had Grampdaddy committed to the box today. It’s for his own good. I put a case of froot loops in the cupboards.
Also, ghostcat should be given a lifetime achievement award cause she always has comments that get lots of doors. But I know she hates to be in the box all the time. 8)
The Smart-Ass Queen…she needs to teach a class in smart-assery. But no rids.
Hello? Hellllloooooooooo? Anybody here?
Hmmmm, smells like pizza in the box, but there’s nothin’ here but an empty Papa John’s, two dipping containers, and an empty grape soda can….. and a stale box of Froot Loops.
Hey Windy – send Ghostie over if you want – she can be my Goddess du jour if I get lucky.
Ohhhh…….. mine hores rids and pony rids and hores rids for kids events,
A kiddley divy too, wooden shoe?
Hores, buggies and cheep… oh my.
You can’t find THAT at Disneyland.
Grampdaddy, ghostie never got the message to keep you company. I was gonna send Bianci as the goddess on call, but then I saw something shiny. Sorry.
Uh, Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Mine Hores!