YSaC, Vol. 494: What are you doing, Dave?
2009 November 23
*****$650******* – $650
call david ####### ###-###-#### or ###-###-####
The best way to appreciate this picture is to do the following.
1. Make sure you can hear sound from your machine.
2. Stare deeply at the image
3. Right-click this link and select “open in new window”.
4. Come back and stare at the image while the audio plays.
Then, for bonus points, throw a bone into the air and have it turn into a spaceship.
Thanks for the link, KCBlueGal!
Takes a redneck to know a cesspool……….
Yeah, not used to seeing those above ground. Must be a city thing.
I am really, REALLY hoping this is not a used item. Because, well, eww.
Spaceship? That’s ‘Satillite’, dan, Satillite. You should really just relax, we still Love you.
Or “satellite”, even.
I stand by my 2001 geekery. The bone transforms into the ship which is transporting Dr. Floyd to the moon from earth. (OK, actually it’s transferring him from earth to a space station) A Satillite (or even a satellite) would remain in orbit around one body, not transfer between the two.
According to a number of things I’ve read Kubrick said that the cut was not to the transport ship but to an orbiting nuclear platform (paralleling the primitive weapon with the futuristic one). Which would be more of a satellite. FWIW.
sorry Dan,
according to the font of all knowledge (aka hubby) the first image you see after the bone is a satellite of some sort. He tells me you actually see a couple of them, then the space station, then finally the ship carrying Dr. Floyd.
As his geekiness (is that even a word?) knows no bounds when it comes to Sci-fi, well none I’ve found yet, I’ll take his word for it. Although I may go dig out the DVD now anyway, as I haven’t seen it in a long time and now have the urge to revisit it.
Aw crap, you’re right.
No, no, no! First you see two cavemen arguing in the jungle, and then, in the next scene is the monolith crumbling to reveal the word ME.
oh my god, it’s hypno dog!
ALL HAIL HYPNO DOG, ALL HAIL………
That’s not how it happens. I’ve seen that movie, and there’s no jung—ALL HAIL HYPNO-DOG.
So…this looks like pre-cast sections of concrete. And the lowest section looks hollow! OOh! It could be the blue-collar-worker’s equivalent of living in a cardboard box! He could invite his boss over after a hard-days work pouring concrete, and say “look how dedicated I am to our work! I live in a concrete box!”
This is how I imagine the phone call going.
David:”You got David, what can I do you for?”
Caller:”Uhh, yeah hi David, I’m calling about your concrete box.”
David:”Cement.”
Caller: “Uhhh, what?”
David: “It’s cement.”
Caller: “Whatever, What is it used for?”
David: “Things.”
Caller: “Things? Could you be more specific?”
David: “I dunno, things, stuff, the like.”
Caller: “The like? Ummm, well can it be broken up and used for something else?”
David: “Probably.”
Caller: “Ummm… Ok. How big is it exactly?”
David: “I dunno, big-ish.”
Caller: “Can I come look at it.”
David: “I suppose.”
Caller: “Where?”
David: “At my house.”
Caller: “Where is that?”
David: “Where I live.”
Caller: “I figured, but what is the address?”
David: “I dunno, it’s blue I think, maybe green.”
Caller: “Is there a street address?”
David: “I don’t like to give that out, the govment might be watching.”
Caller: “Govment?”
David: “Big brother, mutha fuggers been all over me since that one time in Toledo with the hookers…”
Caller: *click*
In instances such as these, “govment” may also be pronounced “gummint.”
It is not a breath freshener.
Come on people! Don’t you know modern art when you see it? Some people just don’t get it… this is the height of sophistication!
I only consider pre-buried crypts…preferably with a colony of rats in residence. But for $0…maybe I’ll bury it myself.
I can’t let you sell this Dave
Daaiiissey, Daaiiissey! My mind is going. I can feel it.
Dave is obviously a “survivalist” who wanted to build his own portable bunker. Why portable you ask? Well, you can’t stay in one place for too long or the gummint (thanks Lola) will find out where you are.
But……once he built it, he realised there wasn’t room for himself, his cachet of weapons, 2 months supply of tinned food and his pet pig Rudy. Craigslist to the rescue once again.
And just the other day I was thinking, if mortars started falling around my house, where would I go? Thanks for the timely post, David!
My God, it’s full of stars.
My God, it’s full of sh*t…
ok,
am I the only one still trying to figure out what on earth this guy is selling?
I haven’t seen one out of the ground in a while, but it bears a resemblance to a septic tank. That or it’s some sort of bizarre burial vault.
it has holes in the sides like there is supposed to be something going in…so it could be a septic tank? What I don’t understand is the top piece being seemingly permanently cabled to the bottom part and the lid-looking part. The loop at the top looks like it could be used to move the thing with a crane, but still…
My real question is how the hell did someone get a hold of one of these, let alone one that hasn’t even been underground yet? Did they sneak into the manufacturing grounds at night and sneak it out? Did they kill someone to get it? And what is the going price for these….things?
How did they get a hold of one? Ever heard the phrase “fell off a truck”?
Strangely, when things fall off of trucks, they often sustain far less damage than one might imagine. They might even been in good enough condition to be used and/or sold.
So a guy was going down the road, this fell off a truck, and he just so happened to have a crane that wasn’t being used? I think my real question is regarding transport here…
arallyn –
“Fell off of a truck” = stolen.
“We’re supposed to have X number of these things, why do we only have Y?”
“Dunno, must have fallen off of the truck or something.”*
*I stole them and sold them to make extra money.
I don’t know how often this happens in other places, but in the NY area, if something is on offer (esp. if out of a box on the sidewalk, the back of someone’s van, or similar sketchy circumstances) very cheaply, then it is often correct to surmise that it has “fallen off of a truck.”
The scariest thing I was ever offered in that situation was not a counterfeit handbag or perfume, but … meat. They said it was beef but how do you know (a) what it is, and (b) how long it has been without refrigeration? Ugh.
The holes in the bottom are for “something” to leach out (yes that stuff). You are correct about the pieces being cabled together for transport. The septic tank liner was most likely given to the guy as a retirement gift (think gold watch). And the title indicates: $ 650 – $650 = 0.00 a rather good deal I would think……….
It looks like a concrete Xerox machine! Maybe it spits out stuff printed on tablets, like the Ten Commandments.
Copy machine was my first thought too.
Yeah, it’s like the one in Mr. Slate’s office at the quarry, in that episode where Fred and Barney sneak in so they can photocopy their butts.
Is that one out on DVD yet? I’d totally buy it.
The title of the ad says he is selling $650 dollars for $650. Maybe it is $650 in pennies which he keeps in concrete vault.
Dangit Dave, I told you I wanted your old septic tank when you were done with it. You are the worst redneck brother-in-law ever. I am never going hog hunting with you again!
Am I the only one thinking there might be a long line of mobsters just waiting to snatch this thing up?
John Gotti anyone?
Put your friends’/enemies’ corpses in a cement box and them suckers’ll never float to the top of the East River again!
Fits two if you’re not fussy about how they’re packed.
Hee! “Not fussy” is tickling me, for some reason. Like John Gotti is working all sides of the box just so, getting pissed that the legs and arms aren’t fitting in right.
Seriously? It’s a septic tank? I’ve never seen one of those. At the risk of being indelicate (unheard of here at YSaC, I know), don’t these things fill up eventually? What happens then?
Um… if you don’t think it’s good for me to know, feel free not to answer.
never having had experience of one myself I’m not sure, but I imagine you get it emptied somehow
Yes they are emptied, it takes a while for them to fill up as there is a bacteria or something that gets put in to aid in the breaking down of the “matter.” It’s a big, stinky process that is rather fun to watch.
It takes all kinds… 😉
From what I understand, the business of septic tank emptying can be lucrative for those who have the strong stomach/no sense of smell requisite to do such work on a regular basis.
When I was growing up, one of my friends had no sense of smell (likely still does not). His after school/summer job was with a plumber. What would send most people running/gagging affected him not a bit.
We had to call a honey wagon in when I was little, it is a lot of fun to watch them dig it open(if you’re the sort who likes that sort of thing), but the stink will gag a maggot.
“Honeyjumper” has to be one of the worst jobs of all time, even if you’re anosmic.
It looks brand new to me.
Well, I hate to show how much of a backwoods person I am, but here goes. Two years ago when I did an addition to my house, I had to upgrade the septic tank to accomodate more bathrooms. The health department told me the wrong size for my place, and I bought that wrong size tank. So then after I found out that I needed a larger size, I sold the old one. Sooo, to make a long story a little longer, I completely understand how one comes to own a spare septic tank. And this is a good price, they are kind of expensive.
I can’t say for sure that it IS a septic tank, as ours was buried the whole time we had it (and never up for offer on CL).
But what a septic tank does is not merely hold the contents, but uses natural enzymes to slowly break down and disperse said contents. It leaches out into the surrounding ground over time.
If you overuse it or clog it, you do need to have it emptied. There are companies that come and suck all the “contents” out.
I think you may need to have them emptied periodically anyway, but we only lived at our old place for 5 years with one, and never had to.
I used to have a septic tank. It all depends on how much you are using it and if you have a tendency to flush things on a regular basis that shouldn’t be down there (paper towels). Some houses have to have it done every 4-5 years while others can wait 15 or more before it needs to be emptied.
You always knew when someone was doing it as the smell would float down the street…
Just to totally gross everyone out, my sister fell through the opening of hers when they were doing maintenance – she is now affectionately called “poo-feet” by her husband.
Personally, I would have been more grossed out if you had said she was now called “poo-face” or “poo-esophagus” or “poo-emesis-out-the-nose”…
Across the street from my office building there’s a house which is basically a basement with a roof on it. Once, during a summer office party in the parking lot, I was brave with Smirnoff Ice and asked the homeowner what the deal was. He said he bought it from a guy who ran out of money after he built the basement so he capped it. One of our former receptionists grew up in this town and was once inside that house – she said it was nice and cool in the summer. Don’t know why I’m telling ya’all this but this picture spurred that memory.
I’ve been inside an earth sheltered house – a house partially built into the ground. The difference is quite remarkable, it does feel much cooler even in summer.
I’m going to stare at this until it makes sense.
Hold your breath.
One person’s septic tank is another person’s castle. With a little help from HGTV’s Candice Olsen, this blank canvas is transformed into a charming industrial-modern studio apartment with environmentally-friendly materials.
Is concrete considered enviromentally friendly? I thought they used the ash from burned tires or something like that. Maybe that’s just something my head made up.
Sarajean, cement is crushed-up coral or other limestone-based naturally occuring substances. (dead coral, not stuff ripped out of reefs). Concrete is a mix of cement, gravel and water. The septic tank will be reinforced with steel lengths or steel mesh. I can’t believe i know this stuff, but growing up with a DIY Dad, and marrying not one, but two engineers, i have absorbed this info by osmosis.
i should say, not at the same time……
The most interesting thing I know about concrete is that the Romans used a lot of it. A little googling brings up this PDF file, an article by an engineer: http://www.romanconcrete.com/Article2Pantheon.pdf
If they’d only figured out the printing press we’d be halfway down the Orion Arm by now.
I blame Livia. If Germanicus had survived to succeed Augustus, there might have been a golden age for the Roman empire. Instead, Augustus was followed by Tiberius and Caligula, neither of whom were particularly good leaders, to put it mildly.
Of course, there’s no proof that Livia was behind the death of Germanicus, but ask yourself, cui bono? With the death of Germanicus, the Claudians became the imperial bloodline, instead of the Julians (adoption aside). The rest, as they say, is history.
*****mother*******-hole
Call Mrphysic
He could probably sell it to MOMA or something.
(Anyone who say ‘egg on wood’ knows what I’m talkin’ about.)
‘egg on wood’
Okay….it’s either a septic tank or a concrete burial vault. They could’ve been much more creative with the ad copy:
“Almost New!! From Kidco! My First Little Crypt-keeper Set!!”
Oh man…Dan, looking at the photo with the audio in the background pretty much made my day. Thank you for the suggestion.
Okay, totally weird here. Why are the ads still about baby swaddling? Who would keep their kids in a septic tank or mini-crypt? DON’T answer that! But why didn’t we get ads about space-age pens and amateur astrophysicist?
I don’t think there’s anything in today’s post for the ad-bot to cue on.
could we have found jimmy hoffa??
Loving My Little Crypt Keeper set! Reminds me of the My Little Pony Abattoir (spelling?) that I promised my daughter (evil mother but it was for her own good – bridal ponies are gross!)
It is indeed a concrete septic tank. Having been in the septic installation/cleaning business as well as the sh*t hauling and spreading business for over 30 years, all I can say is: “It smells like money to me.”
I was in the legal field before that time. I guess that means I’ve dealt with sh*t, literally AND figuratively, all my life.
Ah, life experiences . . . ain’t they grand?!?!?!
Why has no one made the obvious observation that this is not taken from 2001, but actually fits more as something a serial killer would have?