YSaC, Vol. 433: What this table needs is a badger with spray paint.
Table Dinner – $250
Its in good shap.
the coloer is blech.
and it has 4 chars.
And price is 250 or less make me an offer.
The poster is absolutely, positively correct in the assertion that the color of this table dinner is blech.
My problem is that I have no idea where on the RGB spectrum blech falls. I don’t remember a crayon with that name; all I remember are things like red-orange and orange-red and burnt sienna and raw umber. Blech is most definitely not an officially-sanctioned Crayola color.
It appears to fall somewhere in the spectacularly, hideously neutral range — you know, in the range of colors that are so inoffensive that they’ve swung all the way around the spectrum and are back to offensive?
But the price is $250 or less. Oooh, wait, I know this game from The Price is Right! I’m going to have to go out on a limb here and guess “less.” Do I win? Do I win the table dinner and char set?
Thanks, Kelly!
Crayola was considering making “Blech” an official color, it’s just that the scientists in charge of formulating the pigments in the lab were unable to fully recreate the disgusting neutrality of the color. (Whoo, I made an oxymoron!)
It’s Crayola’s new line…”Shades of Indifference”
Coming soon to a toy store near you. Get them NOW! Or not, whatever.
Can I order the badger customization option and still qualify for the Indifference color package? I don’t want it to look like I care too much…
Yeah, I guess…whatever.
I just wanted to add in here that I figured out the “coloer” of the “Table Dinner”:
Light Sunburn On Pale Skin.
Also known as “blech”.
Now look at the picture again and see if you agree.
I think you’ll find the crayon called “Blech” between the crayons “Ehh” and “Hmph”.
If you need further help looking through that box of 64, you can usually find “Ehh” adjacent to “Meh.”
In the box of 48 coloers, if I remember right, “Blech” is in with “Eww” and “Ugh.” Or maybe next to “nuh-uh.”
My favorite one in the box, though, is “OH NO YOU DI’N’T!”
Admittedly “OH NO YOU DI’N’T” has got some charm but it’s a little close to “WHATEVER” for my liking. Now the slightly racier “YOU GO GIRLFRIEND” is really where it’s at.
The coloer blech can only be achieved through years of collected dust and grime. The 4 chars used to be chairs before the big fire. Since we’re on The Price is Right, I’ll bid $1.
ha – cheater! :0)
And I’ll be the A-hole on Price is right who always just bids a single dollar higher.
That’s the Unimaginative A-hole, thank you very much. I suppose it’s left for me to be the poor idiot who’s never seen a table dinner that doesn’t have legs folding. “That’s a mighty fine table kitchen, Drew! $300!”
a char set is obviously a font. what this has to do with a blech table i’m not sure. and here’s my offer – 1 dollar. and you deliver it to me here in albany new york. how you get here is your problem. how does anybody misspell ‘color’?
The “e” from the word “shape” fell down and landed in the word “color.” Don’t you hate it when you suffer from LTS? (Loose Text Syndrome)
That lowercase e abandoned ship when it saw the contraction It’s without its apostrophe.
Dangit – I just had a flash of “brilliance.” That should have been IVS (Irritable Vowel Syndrome) instead of LTS. Oh well.
Maybe the poster wanted to use “couleur”? You know, to spruce up the ad a bit, since the color is blech.
ooh fancy..i could totally see people eating 5 course dinners on this baby..
But wouldn’t you prefer to eat dinneurs? Or, if you want real classiness, deinneours?
That’s a big meal for a table dinner.
“Couleur” makes a lot of sense and would actually make this a much more valuable “French Prudential” table.
How does anyone misspell chair?
Like this: char.
Did that clear up things for you, Chris?
(I’m just here to help!)
I think he’s selling C++ char strings.
$250 or less? I don’t want to play this game. I would, however, like a “table dinner” which I am guessing is bigger than a TV dinner but smaller than a five course meal. I’m hungry, dammit.
Sorry, I never got to the “coloer”. I’m still working on “good shap”.
Shap?
.
.
.
AHHAH! Wikipedia knows all!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shap
I’m not sure even a good Shap will fit in my house, although it might be a bargain for $249, with or without the chars and even with the blech coloer.
Hey, I would pay $250 for Shap–it has four pubs AND a factory making sausages. I don’t need the chars, unless they are Arctic and already cleaned.
nah – the ‘e’ is missing again – it has 4 ‘pubes’ – not such a great deal.
Don’t forget, Shap is also only a hop, skip and jump from such senic destinations as Cockermouth and Barrow-in-Furness (likely where the chars come from).
This has left me kind of curious though, what’s the mascot of Cockermouth High?
Well – as Cockermouth is fairly close to the coast – I’m sure they’ll be used to seeing plenty of seamen. Either that or the ‘Cockermouth Parrots’.
It’s an old joke so let me explain: friend holds out left hand – you ask “Have you ever held a parrot in that hand?”
They reply
Friend holds out right hand – you ask “Have you ever held a parrot in that hand?”
They reply
Finally you get your friend to open their mouth – “hmmmm, bet you’ve had a cockatoo in there”
I’m available for children’s parties by the way………
Actually, $250 seems like a good deal for an English village. That’s a bit over 152 pounds if you trust Google. So much for the weak American dollar!
I guess the village is under the table somewhere, it must be shy. Since no dimensions are given, that must be one giant table. I hope it doesn’t eat me for dinner.
I hear the Lake District is nice. $250 bucks for a Cumbria village? Sounds like a bargain. On the other hand, I wouldn’t pick that table off of a curb.
And they have Mango (not A mango, but Mango)? I up the bidding to $2. But I just want the good Shap, not the table dinner. I’m not currently hungry. And I can visit one of my fine English pubs when I am.
Blech seems like it’s a mix between baby poop green and chars.
“disgusting neutrality” – I like that! I’m going to have to try to remember that one.
At first I thought they had just misspelled black(an idea reinforced by the “4 chars”), until I scrolled down and saw the actual table. The only other word I can think of would be bleach, which a clear, yellowish liquid and the table is none of those things. You can’t really see the chars, so there is no way to learn the extent of the charring.It raises so many questions:
Are the other chars under the table, or were they eaten by the table for dinner?
Were they accidentially sealed into the walls and will I need a sledgehammer to extract them?
It does have a good “shap”, though.
Blech is the colour of a baby’s blech.
Really, I had the same thought with regard to what the writer could’ve possibly intended by “blech”; the lack of realistic possibilities makes me think that this was intended to become an entry here on YSaC. Kind of takes the fun out of it, though…
I’m thinking “blush”. But the commentary on “blech” has been far more entertaining 🙂
my hypothesis on the intended color is beech…but that appears to be a tile top table and not wood…….
Let’s see you want ME to make YOU an offer for a blech table dinner and 4 chars…
Funnily enough, no.
Good shap or not, the answer is still: no.
Does that fit in my dinning room?
Probably not, your French prudential furniture takes up a lot of space, so it would be difficult to fit in a table that can cover a Cumbrian village (plus English and French don’t mix well, you could start a Hundred Years’ War).
I fart in your general direction!
Go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
Cherchez la vache!
You are of course assuming that we’ve finished the first one hundred year war (I write as an inhabitant of England). In effect both sides are still ‘resting’ – thought we’d let some other countries have a go for a while – but the emnity is still there so keep Shap away from any French Prudential!
Blech is the well known combination of black and peach so beloved of the fashion industry – but normally in contrast, not, as here, stirred together.
250 or less what? clams?
Pistachio nuts?
Pickled herrings?
a trunk o monkeys?
I would SO go see “trunk o monkeys” at a local bar.
THAT’S WHAT THAT PERSON WANTED A TICKET TO!!!!
It was the “Trunk O Monkeys” Reunion Tour ’09!!!
what is with the lines on the table? designated eating spots? because if I am counting right it would require more than 4 chars..
It looks like the top of the table is finished in big ceramic tiles. It might have been useful if the poster had mentioned this, but then again he’d call ’em “saran tills” and nobody would know what the hell he was talking about so it’s moot.
Could “blech” possibly be a severe bastardization of “beige”? I know it’s a long shot but I’ve certainly seen equally unbelievable spelling gaffes before. You just wanna slap the person and go “Say the word out loud. Slowly. Now how the fuck do you think there’s an ‘L’ in there?”
I pondered that as well, but if they meant beige it probably would have come out something like “baygs”.
At first I thought there was a paper tablecloth on the table to cover up the blech color.
“the coloer is blech.”
Birch? Peach? Bleached birch with floral/peach inlay? All the other misspellings and transposed words are easy to figure out, but “blech” just… blech.
Blech is not a color. It’s an opinion. If it’s meant to be a color, I would say it would be in the puce family.
The person listing this could have hit keys at random and probably come up with a more coherent post.
Its in good shap–the
Coloer is blech and it has
4 chars–$250!
There, I fixed it.
Wonderful haiku! Or haycoo?
Thanks. I think the preferred spelling is High-Coo.
well, according to master loo, i believe it was spelled “hi-koo”
I kind of like the the coloer blech, it’s very peachy and warm. I’m also thrilled about the good shap, I’ve been in the market for one for quite some time. I hope it’s quaint.
The shap is good.
The coloer is blech.
It has 4 chars.
Just 250 or less.
My preschool-age daughter looked at the picture and said “that looks like a floor”. She didn’t even need to be able to read the description to think it was funny.
I may buy the table and hope this scholar has the same level of math skills as they have writing ability.
“Yes sir, thank you for the table. Here is a crisp 5 dollar bill. You owe me 245$ change.”
Or you could offer a scratch-off lottery ticket. Then you’d only have to fork over a dollar or two and wouldn’t have to waste an entire five spot.
What’s with the badger in the title? Could there possibly be a pop culture reference so obscure that even I don’t get it?
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2973
I think it’s this earlier post (see original ad commentary).
Ah. That was…Wow. That table makes this one actually look like it’s worth $250.
“Hideously neutral” (and “disgusting neutrality” even more) remind me of Zap Branigan bombing the Neutral Planet in Futurama (“with evil people at least you know what they are up to, but these neutrals really get on my nerves”).
Neutral Vice President: Your Neutralness, it’s a beige alert.
Neutral President: If I don’t survive, tell my wife “Hello.”
Best.Show.Ever. Why are all the good ones cancelled?
It’s coming back, you know. Took them awhile to figure it out, but hey, I’m not complaining.
The movies are good(I’ve got them all), but for random wackiness the original show run has a special place in my heart.
“What makes a man turn … neutral, Kif?”
I am pretty sure she meant BLEACH as in it looks bleached out.
The blech tones do go rather nicely with the ug shades present in the poster’s wallpaper, though.
My finger hovers over this person’s reset button… But I must stop and ponder…
You know, are we really this doomed?
Every line in the posting is wrong in some way. I just don’t want to believe there are people WHO CAN USE A COMPUTER who are this stupid. I mean, I know there are people in the backwoods of *Name Your Favorite State With Backwoods People In It*, but they don’t know what Craigslist is or how to use it. You have to be able to SPELL Craiglist to get there!
I’m glad they offered me to make them an offer. I offer a dictionary and a thesaurus for your “Table Dinner”. SOLD!
You don’t necessarily have to be able to spell Craigslist to go on there, you simply have to be able to say to someone ” I have to sell my blech table dinner. Can you help?”. The helpful person walks the poster through it step by step possibly even opening the site for them. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to do this myself, both in person and over the phone. I’m not saying Craigslist postings only, but for many different things. You’d be surprised how many computer illiterate people there still are out there.
I used to be in tech support (actually several times in my life; I’m pretty good), and I still am a computer helper for friends and family, so I know just how bad it can be. I have Tech Hell stories that would curl your hair.
But… Every. Sentence. In. The. Posting. Has. An. Error.
When God passed out the brains, this person was too busy trying to pry their bagel out of the toaster with a fork to bother getting in line.
“You’d be surprised how many computer illiterate people there still are out there.”
Computer illiterate and every kind of dumb, and they still manage to get online.
Do we need a finer weave on the internets to filter this out?
“I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to do this myself, both in person and over the phone. ”
It’s great that you have such patient friends
Darn that comma that’s masquerading as a period and hiding the original intent of my words. I do have patient friends though and I’m thankful for every last one of them.
Sadly, I would not be at all surprised. But still, somebody had to find their way to the Internet, then to Craigslist, then work the keyboard enough to type out some things that vaguely resemble the words they’re supposed to be (this is where the process went awry), THEN submit it, then check their email, then confirm the submission …
Actually, I guess what should surprise me is that there was a breakdown in competency at only one point in the process. Gah.
“Table Dinner ”
Clearly what they are selling is not supposed to be a table, as you all suggest, but something you can feed to your table for dinner. Since the picture appears to be of a table, I’m going to guess that it is a dinner for cannibal tables. I never knew there were such things but after that one post about the cannibal ceiling fan… You learn something new on YSaC every day!
“Its in good shap.”
Some of you are suggesting that Shap is what is getting sold here but if you read closely you find that this dinner is IN shap (which is a good place to be, apparently) where you will have to take your table to eat.
“the coloer is blech.”
Obviously “coloer” is a misspelling of “cooler.” The poster must have been previously trying to sell a cooler which has since grown mold. Either that or they are warning you not to try and feed your table a cooler. It’s bad for their digestion.
“price is 250 ”
I’m trying to figure out which Price they’re talking about here. I suspect Vincent Price, he’s pretty old, right? Or he would be, if he were still alive…
There. I hope I’ve cleared it all up for you.
blech…it’s yiddish
While I also found this humorous, it’s a crime how illiterate this person is. How did they even find the website “Craigslist”?