YSaC, Vol 425: Fan service.
ceiling fan, beutiful and broken
we bought a gorgeous ceiling fan, but it fell and broke severely before we could finish putting it up. If you can cannibalize it, you’re welcome to it. It must be picked up asap. I’m having my house appraised, and need to get it out of the way.
It looks exactly like this.
Dani points out: “No. No it doesn’t look exactly like this. Because you dropped it. And it broke. Severely. Is the trash not an option?”
In addition to this, I’m sort of wondering what the appraiser is going to say about the gaping hole in their dining room ceiling. For that matter, I’m envisioning the entire inspection going something like this:
Appraiser: “That’s an interesting hole there in the ceiling.”
Sparky: “I know, isn’t it beautiful?”
Appraiser: “No. Now moving on, I see that there’s a pile of sawdust here in the living room where one would normally expect a fireplace.”
Sparky: “Erm, yes, there was a little accident..”
Appraiser: “Also, I’m going to have to put down here the fact that I can see the basement through this gap in the floorboards.”
Sparky: “Well, there was this problem with the television…”
Appraiser: “And your kitchen is on fire.”
[Edited by drmk to add: This is at least the fourth or fifth submission from Dani that’s made it onto the site, so she gets her own tag! (Now I just have to go back and find the others and tag those as well.) Thanks, Dani, for finding us the weird and wonderful of Craigslist.]
how drunk or stoned were you when you were trying to hang that fan?
and why didn’t they post a photo of the “after” and try to sell it as a modern art installation? They could get at least $150 for that.
“Customized ceiling fan, $150.”
Makes you wonder if they tried to take it back to the store first. I picture it happening like this:
“I’d like to return this gorgeous ceiling fan, it is defective.”
“This is a broken hunk of twisted metal.”
“It fell off my ceiling.I am willing to accept store credit.”
“Try Craigslist, those idiots will take anything.”
I like how they try to make it the fan’s fault, too. “It fell, and broke severely.”
Not “I dropped it while installing it because I was balanced on a rocking chair that was three inches too short for comfort.”
This fan is beautiful and broken. Like me.
How very Zen of you.
Thought I’d come and play devil’s advocate – perhaps this person is offering up replacement parts to someone who may have the same fan with a broken sconce? I don’t see anywhere in the ad where they’re asking for any money. And they DO mention ‘cannibalize’.
Probably. But it’s funnier the way Dan imagined it.
I thought about that too, but the poster does not mention how far it fell or what it landed on, only that it broke “severely.” The motor housing could be to damaged to be removed or even cracked, and if by some insane chance the lampshades or lightbulbs were in place, there is a good chance there would be splinters of glass inside the motor housing. If they really wanted to get rid of it, they would post a picture to show what sort of damage there was, rather than post some image they stole of the ‘net.
OK, here’s why this isn’t THAT weird a posting, and the Web boss and commenters unwittingly display ignorance. One: Ceiling fans are expensive, usually over $100, but when broken the motor probably still works and can be used in another fan or device. Two: Since Web boss lives in mama’s basement, he’s never bought or sold a house and does not know that holes in the ceiling large enough for fan mounting/wiring are very common in houses being sold, as many homeowners want to bring in their own fans and install. It’s really not very different from seeing washer/dryer hookups in a laundry room. (That’s where your mom does your laundry.) Three: Installing ceiling fans is not rocket science but is not that easy either for most people, and their heavy, and it’s tricky to get everything hooked up AND hold heavy fan high up on the ladder, so you dropping a fan is NOT necessarily an indication of drunkenness or stupidity.
Fred…
I try really hard not to go off-topic on this, my favorite blog. But people who post on a blog only to trash the Blog Boss should know one thing. Well, one thing besides “everyone hates you”.
The one thing is: get your facts straight. It’s not a guy, she doesn’t live at home, she has her own place, and she has far more education than you ever will.
I have pushed your reset button. Now go away. Go on. Go to one of those blogs where people like people like you. If there is one.
That website would be http://www.ihavenofuckingsenseofhumorsohowdareyoutrytohavefun.com
Dude was so sensitive, i wonder if his father was a fan repairman.
Reply here if you clicked the link to see if it was actually a website! (I did. I mean, hey, if http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com can be a website, why not that?)
I’m guilty. I tried to click the link. What I wouldn’t give for that to be a real site.
I clicked the link. That was one of the most disappointing “page not found” errors ever. I can think of so many people who belong on that site.
All hail the Web Boss!
sorry to everyone i disappointed.
I didn’t realize that any URL would automatically be hyperlinked.
I’m tempted to make the site now ( i aim to please, people) but i don’t have the patience to be a “web boss” like our gracious llama-nun, and i wouldn’t want to encourage d-bags/losers/people-not-hugged-enough-as-a-child/etc by giving them more attention (bad or not).
I clicked. I was a little scared of what I might find, but definitely interested!
I’m really, REALLY wanting to see that blog. If I had more then ten minutes of free time (at least eight of which are spent every day on YSaC) per day I would start it. And then abandon it. Like I do with almost everything else in my life. For confirmation see my half-knitted sweater… from 1998.
What are you all talking about? The link worked fine for me………
DRMK, I’ve got a nice little present for you.
😉 Along the google theme, I recently saw a beatdown of someone who was too lazy to Google Whitney Houston and kept bothering everybody about who she was. I thought it was deserved, but anyway, here’s the site I saw.
http://tinyurl.com/leydn7
I clicked that link. Does anyone read these old posts?
Only in the restroom.
@JMcT,
Between your articulate reply here and yesterday’s introduction of the person reset button concept, I think I’m in love. I don’t know your gender or, if avatar is anything to go by, possible species, but that doesn’t matter.
Awww, now you have me blushing. Thanks for the love.
I’m a guy. I fianlly got both my kids off to college, so I have a little free time to blog here and there, when I’m not working.
My avatar is my cat, who was orphaned and stole my heart when I first saw her. She was named by my step-mother, who thought she had a “tough look” to her face, so her name is Tuffy. I never had any plans to own a cat, ever, but life always has a way of saying “surprise!” now and then.
As far as being articulate, well, they teach that stuff in school if you just pay attention. 😉 Thus, the reset button. I can tell you were attentive in school, too. Your posts are enjoyable. Most of the folks on this blog seem to also have stayed awake in school, which is why it is my favorite.
I was sick from school the day they taught how to type “finally”. 🙁
Wow, Fred Freedom, thanks for clearing all of that up for us here at YSaC. Since we’re twelve years old and live in a dirt hovel with hot and cold running Mountain Dew and barely enough electricity to run our Wii, we have no idea about any of these grownup things you mention.
Dan, I guess you should take down those garage door openers you installed in our garage, since clearly we’re too young and stupid to know what we’re doing in our own house. Oh, and while we’re at it, we should go ahead and break all of our appliances and try to sell them on Craigslist, calling them beautiful, since that’s apparently What Grownups Do.
Wow. Fred, you’re kind of a d-bag.
We were just trying to have a little fun.
I bet you are the type of person that is opinionated enough to storm the stage at an awards show and tell us who you thought should win.
Also
1. Who uses the phrase “Web Boss”? The Internet is not a 1940’s mobster movie.
2. Clearly you’re new here since you refer to “the boss” as a “he”, when in fact they are a female llama-nun.
3. Try installing fans in the shower for me, pllleeeeaaase!
In Fred’s defense, Dan (Mr. YSaC) did contribute the post.
And I’m going to call myself the Web Boss from now on — clearly, I am in charge of the entire Internet!
Hail to the Web Boss. We are not worthy!
Ah, there’s the obsequious fawning I was demanding on Twitter. 😉
Hail, hail to the Llama-Nun!
Boss of the interwebs,
um… erm… uh…
da-dee da-duh da-dum
*looking for the “I have definitively humiliated myself” emoticon*
You rock (even if you don’t rhyme).
I prefer Web Capo!
The Web Boss sounds like a character from the oft-maligned mob-themed follow-up to Charlotte’s Web, Charlito’s Way.
Well Fred having actually had some experience installing ceiling fans and having accidentally dropped one (of course this was because I was drunkenly balancing upon my rocking chair which was 3 inches too short while holding the ceiling fan in one hand and my drink in the other) I do know the expense of ceiling fans. That is not the issue here. The issue is that the poster described it as ‘beutiful’ and gorgeous and presenting a picture of a perfect ceiling fan specimen whilst saying that it fell and broke severely. Something tells me it’s not so beautiful and gorgeous now. No one is discounting the validity or reason for the person to post this, just the way they chose to do so.
My condolences on the loss of your fan, Fred. I’ve heard it was beautiful.
I’m pretty sure you mean ‘beutiful,’ Jackie. I mean beautiful fans are a dime a dozen, Fred’s fan was BEUTIFUL. A much greater loss. Where can you find beutiful fans these days? Other than craigslist, I mean.
So, Fred, did anyone ever pick up your severely broken ceiling fan?
And don’t I have to be a ceiling fan to cannibalize one?
Wouldn’t it then be “fannibalize?”
Mmm, ceiling fan… nom nom nom nom nom!
I think it was very kind of Fred to take precious minutes from his very busy life to hunt-n-peck his way through his message of wisdom. He’s only trying to enlighten us all in the difficulties of, not just ceiling fan installation, but of not-mocking those who display their weaknesses via Craigslist. How dare we condone the deliberate mocking of the easily mockable! How can we be so delighted in the harmless exposure of anonymous people who can’t spell, can’t add, can’t create complete sentences, and yet feel brilliant enough to fool others into buying, trading for, or at least hauling away for free their assorted garbage! I’m sure that as soon as Fred has completed his paper on silly-string theory and perfected the recyclable PB&J sandwich (that will end world hunger!), he will come back to shine his beatific light on us all once more, and we will be but humble novices in cheap sunglasses basking in his soft glow.
Or something like that.
YSaC FAN – ANGRY AND BROKEN
We had a gorgeous comments page until Fred cracked and criticised it. If you can cannibalise him you are welcome to him. He must be picked up asap as my mum is going to read the comments here tomorrow and we need to get him out of the way.
He looks exactly like this: <==@:-(
I nominate mrphysic for comment of the day!
Okay, call me picky, but really, if you’re going to insult someone’s intelligence, at least use correct grammar. You were so close to showing the world that you had mastered the elementary school art of spelling homophones (and no, in case you were wondering, a homophone is not a pink Razr). You nailed “bring in their own fans”, leaving us all with high hopes that were dashed upon reading “and their heavy”. One would think that if you could use “their” (posessive) correctly once, you would only suffer confusion between “they’re” and “there”, but that would be an over estimation. This mistake would suggest that you don’t actually know the difference between the three, and thus I must give you a “fail”.
Their- possessive (It’s their fan.)
They’re- they are (You’ve gotta be careful installing fans, they’re heavy!)
There- location (Be careful! The fan fell from the ceiling and smashed to bits over there.)
However, take heart that I am giving you a passing grade on the use of to/two/too. Now make sure to bring your report card back signed by your mother, or else you’ll have to spend play time in time out.
I adore it when the controversy brings out the Grammar Police! This is why I love, love, love this blog so much. Keep on rockin’ in the free world!
I had to google “cannibalize” because i couldn’t figure out why they would want the broken fan devoured by another fan.
I had images of ceiling fan fights. Dirt rings, wire fences, the whole nine yards. The human society wouldn’t be able to get on my behind, but the local electrical union might. Losers shall be devoured…
This confused me too. My image was of a delusional person who believed they were a ceiling fan eating the broken fan while sitting naked among a pile of fan debris, whirring softly to themselves. Although now that I think about it, they should be hanging from the ceiling, shouldn’t they?
Actually, this is the whole premise behind Stephen King’s next novel—all 1,059 pages of it.
I love how it fell and broke before they *finished* putting it up. I’m thinking they had just put in half of the screws or bolts and decided that would be a great time for a coffee break. Of course, coffee is always better with some cookies, so they had to bake some. The smell of cookies baking lured over their neighbor and, of course, they had to be friendly. The neighbor had a juicy bit of gossip so they had to call everyone and let them know. By the time they called everyone, they were getting a bit hungry so they had to go out to eat since the oven smelled like burning cookies for some reason. When they were out eating, they realized that dinner and a movie is a perfect combination so they stopped by the local cinema and watched some romantic comedy where the female lead couldn’t dance which reminded them that they hadn’t been dancing in a while, so they hit a dance club which had a great disco ball which reminded them that they hadn’t finished putting up the ceiling fan with its pretty lights, so they went home. But it was too late, it had fallen and broken severely.
and yes I have read if you give a mouse a cookie and the sequels
Yes I liked that “before they finished” part too. Some things are binary: they are or they aren’t. “Installed” with regard to “ceiling fan” is one such.
PS Is “over $100” really considered expensive for a ceiling fan? Seems kind of minimal to me, but I do not live in the Land of Target and Walmart, so what would I know?
*sound of duck tape being ripped*
“Honey, what are you doing?”
“I want to see how this fan looks before we finish installing it.”
*sound of more tape being ripped and slapped haphazardly in place*
“Sugar Muffin, can you hold the rocking chair? I don’t want to spill my drink.”
This person has the soul of a poet. This beautiful and broken fan speaks to a part of me I thought I’d lost. Also, it “looks exactly like this,” which I’m thinking is the same thing as great condition.
I see nothing wrong with not wanting to waste something that might still have use. We throw out way too much in the US. If someone can use the parts, why not craigslist it? They weren’t asking for money for it.
I agree that they should have shown an “after” picture for full disclosure.
Agree completely with all of the above. I applaud the person for thinking outside the dumpster.
It was the “looks exactly like this” bit that got us; at the very least they could have said something like, “Two of the fan blades and glass sconces are broken, but the motor still seems to be working.” Saying, “It looks exactly like this” implies that it, in fact, looks like the picture, and not a tangled wreck of ex-ceiling fan.
It would be like posting a personal ad: “I’m a 75-year-old woman, former magazine model and Hollywood starlet, just looking for a boyfriend and some companionship. I loved working in movies with all of the glamour around me. My life has been full and rich. Then drugs severely happened. Won’t you love me? The senior citizens protective services worker is coming tomorrow to evaluate me. Here’s what I look like.” and posting a Vogue magazine photo of yourself at age 25.
Wow, a lot of ceiling fan sympathizers out there today. If, as Fred pointed out, you are interested in the motor of the fan, which is likely the only thing salvageable (they did say “SEVERELY broken”), why would you care that the fan was once beautiful?
And why bring up the appraiser? Is an appraiser really going to look at a pile of beautiful broken fan on the floor and say, “What’s all this? Your house isn’t worth a thing as long as this fan-pile is here. Furthermore, what’s that bin of refuse? Used tissues, empty shampoo bottles? Tsk, tsk.”
In conclusion, this person truly does suck at craigslist, maybe not as much as some of the other examples here, but come on, have some fun.
I picked up a broken fan off freecycle, because I wanted the fan blades for a project and my husband wanted the motor. Not at all a stretch to offer something broken but with useful bits.
Fair enough, but as I mentioned above, maybe they could have said what about the fan had been broken.
For example, since you were looking for fan blades, wouldn’t you have wanted to know if the blades were one of the things that were broken on this fan?
Sigh. Never mind. I guess the “maybe it’s just me” tag would have been apropos here.
No, it’s definitely not just you…
But was it BEAUTIFUL? Was it?
no, silly, it was “BEUTIFUL” 🙂
Maybe not a stretch to sell a broken fan with possibly salvageable parts, but it *is* definitely a stretch to post a pic of said fan, clearly BEFORE the severe-breaking incident, and say, “The fan looks just like this”.
Maybe if they’d gotten a stock photo of their fan & Photoshopped in a car wreck, it’d be more true to their description of it as “severely broken”
I could bring Plato’s Theory of Forms here into the mix and the concept that the picture the poster included in the ad represents the essence of the ideal concept of what a “beutiful” fan means to them. Could I be over thinking here?
You COULD, but you’d do better overthinking it here:
http://www.overthinkingit.com
(This is actually a pretty awesome site.)
I was about to leave a comment saying “Ceiling Fan, Beutiful and Broken” is the title of a John Mayer song.
Then I was like, Beautiful and Broken is such a perfect title for a crappy pretentious song from this decade, I’m going to search for it just to make sure it isn’t actually a John Mayer song. It isn’t (yet), but as far as some other artists are concerned, it was a close call.
Ashlee Simpson – “Beautifully Broken”
Gov’t Mule – “Beautifully Broken”
Gwen Smith – “Broken Into Beautiful”
Suzie McNeil – “Broken and Beautiful”
Beautiful Broken, an Emo/Screamo/Electro band from Germany with five MySpace friends including Tom (they apparently changed their name and are doing much better now with over 4,000 friends as Her Smile is Grief).
And Mark Schultz’ “Broken and Beautiful” from the album Broken and Beautiful, which contains the line, “His world was crashing in,” an obvious reference to the ceiling fan.
Ah, the price of increasing blog popularity. You have now attracted more readers who do not get it. Or possibly those who suck at Craigslist, themselves. Perhaps this is Fred’s beautiful, broken fan. And he is simply defending its honor.
fred will perhaps feel better if he can find a working fan, and sit in its lovely breeze. or not.
I wonder if drmk could start a negative option on the comment scoring? Then everyone could show dear Fred what we think of him.
possibly a minimum “sense of humor,” “delight in sarcasm” or “no stick up ass” quota as well
“no stick up ass”
I am curious. How exactly would you preform a check for rectum shrubbery?
I think that requires a combination of colorectal surgical and horticulture degrees.
Sadly enough I can see there actually being a niche for that market…
Wouldn’t that be a question for that guy who wanted the tatoo on the beach and also wanted to body search the tatoo artist to be sure he wasn’t holding?
Or was that just a fever dream?
Katy said niche. I’m telling Mom.
‘rectum shrubbery’ would be a good name for a rock band, as we say over on dave barry’s blog . . .
but i was also wondering how many people out there were just wishing that they could pick up a used and broken ceiling fan to pillage for parts.
I guess we really all are into this recycling thing…
Hail, hail to the Llama-Nun!
Boss of the interwebs,
In our esteem you are second to none,
Despite all those crotchety Freds.
(Cled- you’re my inspiration)
Thank you, ???!(*) I love it when people can turn my sad attempts at doggerel into something worthy.
(*) Now that’s one for the next episode of Punctuation Challenge.
maybe Fred can use a piece of the broken fan to remove his twisted knickers from his rectum??
‘beatiful and broken’ sounds like some dumb emo kid’s AIM handle.
To those of you who think this ad isn’t “You Suck at Craiglsit” material, I point and laugh @ you!
**tee-hee**
HOLY CRAP!!!!
I have a TAG! Now you all know I spend too much time on CL. Looking for bad ads. And I have the same sense of humor as DRMK.
AWESOME.
Congratulations. =)
If only there was a market for beautiful and broken stuff. I’d be rich!
This could be a perfect addition to the kitchen already equipped with the Spinning Blades of Death fridge. Just a thought…
Hey Web Boss-
You want me and Tony to go an’ break Fred’s kneecaps? (cheesy mafia accent)
ceiling fans are great for cooling a warm room with large area. i prefer them over multiple desk fans:”‘
7 blade ceiling fans have much better performance compared to those three bladed fans ‘”‘
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Spam? Is that you?
I’m so glad we got you micro-chipped.
I can cannibalize the fan. I’m one of ceiling’s biggest fans. Ceiling is so awesome.