YSaC, Vol. 424: Just… George.
Gold BRAsLET – $95
HEY peOPLE IM SEllING A GOLD
PERASLeT1! IT VERyy AMAZING
REALLY… IT ONLY 95 BUT IM SALEING REALL CHEAP BUT REALLY THISS COST LIKE MORE THAT THAT pEOPLE
WANT TO KNOW MORE JUST GEORGE####@YAHOO.COMTHANKS
In the old days, to make a message like this, you had to spend hours laboriously cutting letters out of magazines and newspapers: “iF YOu eVER WanT TO sEE YOUr gOlD PERASLeT1! ALiVe AGaIN, BriNG 95 DOllaRS tO THe COrnEr Of sTATe aND MaIN aT tHrEE O’CloCK!!!” Now thanks to the magic of the internet, you can be just as incoherent in a fraction of the time.
Ain’t technology grand?
I also wish to point out that I wasn’t sure from the first picture if I wanted this PERASLet1!, but the second one really sold me.
Thanks to Angela for sending this along!
Just George? No John, Paul, or Ringo?
And how do I know that’s really a gold PERSALeT1? How very amazing that would be. 8)
ZOMG! I am a peOPLE in seARch of RaNDoMlY CapatalizeD (see, I can’t even do it righT! GEORGE is SoooO much MoRE SmarTed ThAn Me!) PERASLeT1! EspeCIaLlyyyY 1OnE on SALEING REALL CHEAP. I cAn Haz it? I mean, It CoSts MoRE THAT THAT peOPLe. WhO WoulDn’T WaNT it?
(Seriously….that was the most annoying paragraph to type. How can one do that by accident? Cap Locks Seizures? I think there is a drug for that? Maybe 420? LOL)
Caps Lock Seizures = awesome band name.
There should be a reset button for people. You press it and they automatically go back to 1st grade to start their education over.
I would like to subscribe to your pamphlet, sir.
Put me on that mailing list.
Agreed! Best idea today. 😛
I have a list of names for this once you have it invented. Do you want it in order of stupidity magnitude, or alphabetical?
Well actually, installing the button on MY list of people will probably take a decade, so we can discuss yours once mine are completed. 😉
One shiny strawpenny if you add me to your club – but not your list, good sir!
I wish to join your club. This is a great idea.
Reset button. Absolutely love this. I’m going to start using this on people. 😀
BTW, Hi, everyone. First time commenter, though I’ve been following the site off and on since a friend of mine showed it to me a few months back. Have lots of catching up to do, heh.
caps lock siezures. bwwwwwaaaaah. love it. uh, george, i suppose youre wondering why NOBODY is calling you in response to your ad….
Either this ad is a joke or it’s a clever ransom note in disguise. :O
I think it is a performance art piece.
How, HOW does someone get “peraslet” from bracelet?
The jacked-up part is that I can actually imagine someone pronouncing it like that.
Or, more precisely, how does someone get “PERASLeT1!” from “BRAsLET”?
Are we discussing a BRAsLET (commonly known as a small bra for those size 24AAAA tits) which suddenly morphed into a ‘gold’ link chain to put around the wrists – as opposed to the breasts? or is this person simply thick as shit?
Yeah – sometimes, by looking at your keyboard you can give the excuse that the writer’s finger slipped (e.g. hitting an ‘o’ instead of a ‘p’). but ‘PE’ is soooo far from ‘B’ that one can only assume that this specimen actually MEANT to write “PERASLeT1”.
My invisible friend is saying that they probably have/are multiple personalities trying to type two messages at once.
moxie – ‘touch typing’. OR – sorta just guessing where the letters are on each key. yeah – that looks right….. nothing can stop teh stupids.
The typing is so bad and so rushed i think he was trying to use someone else’s computer while they’re in the bathroom. Maybe the computer is owned by the same person the bracelet is stolen from.
The question then becomes: While which person is in the bathroom?
From which the following thought ensues: Ew.
I really thought it was a 14 year old girl who wrote that ad, and then I got to the “George” and was quite thrown off balance.
So you’re saying George isn’t a 14 year old girl?
Oh good point. I suppose if “Apple” is a girls’ name there’s no reason why “George” can’t be.
I would suggest George from Dead Like Me, but I’m not sure that I want to associate that show with this nonsensical babble.
I like that he says “BUT REALLY THISS COST LIKE MORE THAT THAT pEOPLE” but doesn’t mention any guess of how much it costs.
That persalati/parasol/parfait/whatever is totally stolen and ol George is making this up as he goes.
Also, it looks like the cheap jewelry sold by sketchy looking people at little stands in malls that will be haggled down to like 20 bucks.
persalati/parasol/parfait
Bwahahahahaha!!! Win 🙂
It just dawned on me. George isn’t an idiot…he is actually very clever. See he DID steal the bracelet, but knew that the owner would probably search Craigslist for “gold bracelet” thus by calling it a BRAsLET and PERASLeT1 he would never be caught. Genius!
“PERASLeT1!”
Yes.
Humanity. Is. F***ing. Doomed.
“Just George!”
I hear it in a perky 1950s sitcom housewife’s voice. Maybe Mrs. Cleaver or Harriet Nelson. “Want to know more? Easy as pie – just George!”
She is wearing a shirtwaist dress and a red and white gingham checked bib apron with ruffles at the shoulders. She is stirring something on the stove while smiling fondly at her husband in his chair in the living room, reading the newspaper and the children at the kitchen table, one of whom is doing homework while the other works on his model airplane.
She can do this because she has a wandering eye.
I copied out all the of the letters that were capitalized on the theory that it’s an encrypted message. Here they are:
BRAL ETHE YOPL EIMS EING AGOL DPER ASLT ITVE RAMA ZING REAL LYIT ONLY BUTI MSAL EING REAL LCHE APBU TREA LLYT HISS COST LIKE MORE THAT THAT EOPL EWAN TTOK NOWM OREJ USTG EORG E
If there were just one or two short sequences of letters that actually spelled out real words, I would call it a coincidence and start the cryptanalysis. There are too many to be a coincidence though, so I don’t think the capitalized letters are a message. That leaves the lower case ones:
olds pell eyyp
Which, unfortunately, is really too short to work with. Maybe binary, with lowercase representing 0 and upper case representing 1?
1000111011111100111111110011111111111111011111100111111111111111111111
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111110111111111111111
1111111111111
Yeah, I got nothing.
Wow. And I thought I had too much time on my hands.
Now I’m picturing a ring of less-than-superspys hunched over keyboards in their official-issue trench coats with a decoder ring someone found in a cereal box, muttering to themselves while they post on Craigslist.
Or perhaps it is a group of aliens, hoping to “phone home” with offers of shiny baubles for the mothership.
Giving your comment a point caused a popup to suggest that I was cheating.
I thought cheating was supposed to help me in some way…? Do I get a better grade for giving other people’s comments points? Is this some sort of communal point-giving scheme? I was not informed.
I have no idea! How can you cheat at YSaC?
That pop-up happened to me, too, the other day. We’re only supposed to give “+1” to one person at a time, apparently – but it does let you go ahead and give the second + after all. I didn’t try to do more, as I was … afraid of more vaguely-threatening pop-ups, I guess.
I’m stumped. I just gave about six in a row and didn’t get any messages. How odd.
I get a message if I forget that I gave a point to someone and try to give them another point.
I hear it in my sixth-grade teacher’s voice. =(
hmm….It doesnt do that for me. It might be a browser thing (i use safari).
It’s smart to have a limit though.
I would give all my posts 20 points, so it looks like people like me and help boost my self-esteem
*sigh*
I can only vote on each post once from my machine, and then it disappears. Perhaps it’s a cookies thing.
Me too, but I have only ever seen the cheating pop-up on this post, and I have wantonly plused on others, as well.
It’s not the browser… I just got that popup and I’m on Safari. I did accidentally double click the +, so maybe that’s what causes the popup,
Ooh…something Dan Brown-esque like the Bible Code! Perhaps it makes sense in Sumerian.
But if you take the fourth capital letter after each lowercase you get “What a dumb a$$”.
Don’t check me on that.
Ok, George Michael really needs to lay off the drugs.
hmmm…I just figgered that “PERASLeT1” was some ritzy brand name I’d never heard of…especially since it was identified as a “BRAsLET” in the title.
I understand people accidently hitting one wrong key, or accidently not holding the shift key down (so that there is “1” instead of “!”)…but how can you type “PERASLeT1!” instead of “BRACELET!!”? The person already called it a “BRAsLET” in the title, which was at least closer to “bracelet”.
OK, so which one of us is going to contact George? Someone has to find out what his story is. Is there any way to politely ask a person what level of education s/he achieved? Any way to work that into a conversation about PERASLet1s?
perastalsis maybe? does this have to do with digestion?
I’ll take spel chek for 200, Alex.
Oh, god, queen, now you’ve got me thinking George swallowed and passed this thing, and she wants to sell it REALL CHEAP to be done with painful memories. Really, I don’t want to think about how each little link felt coming out.
As for the name, if George Sand can do it, why not George Peristalsis? A nice Greek girl who eats BRAsLETs. She’s VERyy AMAZING at PART1yyS.
Just. Put down. The glue.
I would love to buy George’s peraslet1. I’ve been looking for something to wear around my wrist for some time now, but all I’ve got are these damn gold bracelets, and they are not very amazing.
I LIKE tHE FAct THaT THE SEcoND PHOTo IS PRETTYY MUCH THe SAME As THE FIRTS pHOTO PeoPLE – BUT on ITs SIDE….GENIISS
Pfft… I have a friend, Bob Sacamano, who can get you a PERASLeT1 for half that price!
I tried to type a witty paragraph with random capitalization, but my brain decided to mutiny. It’s bad enough I tried to make him read it, then try to figure out why this idiot is trying to sell something I can buy at Walmart for $7.50 for $95 bucks- the whole point of fencing stuff is to sell it for LESS than I can find in retail stores! Then, trying to imitate this idiot’s typing style my brain said, “F**k you, I’m sick of the idiocy. I need a f**king drink!”, jumped out of my ear, and proceeded to get wasted. It only returned under promise that I would never attempt to do random capitalizations again.
It’s great that your name is Katy but your brain is a ‘him’. I want to be a fly on the wall the next time you speak to your therapist.
Hmmm… now that I think about it I should do the same. I’d like my brain to have a sexy australian man’s accent… lol
I’m from New Zealand………..darn – close but no cigar eh?
Maybe Perasleti = Elsa Peretti? It has the “elsa” in it, reversed, and parts of “peretti”.
George huh? Made me think of the “Chronicles of George” website – http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/ – hilarious awful helpdesk tickets from someone named George who wrote just like this. Actually this George is worse but the effect is similar…
I could type better than that with my penis.
Blindfolded.
Now, THAT’s a newsletter I would subscribe to!