YSaC, Vol. 1744: Iced Poky Mom.
2014 August 18
PODEYOM MICK TWO FEET TALL! -$20
THIS IS A NICE FIND A MIKE THAT MOVES AROUND! CALL ME CHRIS HAS A HAVEY BOTOM! CALL ME CHRIS AT [redacted]
“Podeyom Mick” is clearly an anagram for “My Cooked Imp”*, which is obviously referring to Mike, who is only two feet tall but agile. I’m not sure why we’re cooking Mike, though. He seems a little … wiry. Seems to me as though Chris is the one who has been hitting the food trough.
*Or “Icky Demo Mop”.
Thanks, BianchiSound!
Call me Chris. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on eBay, I thought I would post on Craigslist to sell this mike that Allan Havey had left here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden craving for papadam.
Have ye seen the Lacawates Valtrus-Suka?
So Havey was a bottom?
I’ve missed you corner.
The character Mick/Mike never took off in Pokemon as well as Krookodile and Sharpedo. His +5 amplify did not defeat even Slugma. Wait, was he not going for Pokemon?
OK, you are Chris Has a Havey Botom. That’s no excuse for ethnic slurs; a two-foot tall Irishman has enough problems.
Podeyom, dudes!
Mostly the problems stem with people demanding his pot of gold, but yes small statured Iriish man should be left alone.
He ain’t havey, he’s my sound amplification device, y’know, the old-fashioned kind, none of this wireless lavalier biz–that’s fer mics.
Magic Mike!
Dear Chris Has a Havey Bottom,
I see you are attempting to sell your Podeymom mick, and I must ask you to consider this notice to cease and desist as binding and lawful.
Micks are people too, Chris, and Podeymom may have fallen on hard times – due to his upstart nephew, Bulbasaur – but he is not available for sale.
Do not make us have to bring our partner, Pikachu, into these dealings.
You. Will. Be. Sorry.
Sincerely,
Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Feifings and;
Legal Secretary to the Law Offices of Pikachu and Son
A wild Mick appears! Podeyom, I choose you!
Chris, you are not alone. The world is apparently full of people with Havey Botoms. May I suggest eating less and exercising more?
But I thought fat botom haveys make the rockin’ world go round
Will this Podeyom help me to be the very best like no ever was, will it help me catch them as is my real test and to train them as is my cause.
And that should have had a question mark, not a period. Smart kelli is super good at grammar things.
I just can’t. Wait, there’s work to be done first. Hammy, Punchity Punch Punch and get out of the box.
Good Morning, Mary Mack and Mike/Mick.
[co-matt-ry] A canna bleeb it! You guys making funna the word podeyom. Anybody who’se been tuh skool nose a podeyom is a wouldn’ thing that
polluc politicianspolytitions stanby-hind when they make spaches. An cinse polytitions lie more than stand…We don’t need no stinky spaches![/co-matt-ry]Holy Speechless, Batman!
I honestly had no idea what the hell Chris was trying to sell.
So, um…maybe we could add a new tag? You know a chris /chris for when some schmoe is selling whathefeckisitz.
Can I get a amen?
I might even be able to get you a couple of a men.
At my age, OMV, one would be sufficient.
Does he have a lawnmower? If so, please send a pic…..of the lawnmower.
You can get a Ra-men, shrimp or beef.
It’s like a nice “Where’s Waldo” except Mike is animated.
“Where’s Mike?” the voice asked.
In the sunny glade, behind the gummy bush, Mike popped his head out.
“Over here!” he whispered, horsely.
The children laughed and giggled.
“Where’s Mike?” the voice asked again, gleefully.
“I’m right here!” Mike said again, darting out from behind the funny fronds.
The children laughed again.
“Where’s Mike?” the voice asked the children.
“There!” one of them shouted, pointing at Mike, as he tiptoed through the whooshy grasses.
“But I can’t see him!” the voice cajoled the children.
“I’m right here, for God’s sake!” Mike implored, climbing up into the branchy tree.
The children’s laughter became a continuous peal.
“Is he under the big gray rock?”
“No!” the children pealed in unison.
“I’m in the tree!” Mike shouted, loudly.
“Is he hiding in the splashy lake?”
“No!” the children cackled.
“Come on, you can see me!” Mike yelled.
“Well, I don’t know where he is,” the voice replied, leading the children into peals of laughter.
“For the love of God, I’m in the tree!” Mike bellowed.
“Oh look, here come the fluffy fuzzies,” said the voice. “Maybe they can find our silly Mikey.”
The children cheered as the white fuzzy fluffies bounced into the glade and surrounded the tree.
“PLEASE! Open the blast doors! I’ll do anything you want!” Mike implored. He began to cry.
“I guess Mikey shouldn’t have poked his silly nose into the subcommander’s files!” the voice said. “We’ll have to look for him in the morning.”
The fluffy fuzzies bounced higher and higher, brushing against Mike’s skin, their every hair slicing into him like shiny sharp knives until they were as red as fire engines.
“Come along, children! Your new daddy will get you some candy!”
Digi, that’s awful and wonderful. Not sure if it’s equal parts.
I can never pick on anybody my own size because I’m really tiny. But if I ever find this Podeyom Mick guy, I think I can take him.
“Podeyom Mike” also anagrams to “I Mock My Dope”. So when I laughed at my highness, she said,”Off with his head!”
See, she thought I was laughing at her highness. When I explained, she said, “On with his head!”
Whew!
OK, CALL ME ONE HAS A MOVING VIOLATION!
WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?
BECAUSE IT’S THE INTERNET, SO EVERYTHING THAT’S LIKE ALL IMPORTANT AND STUFF HAS TO BE IN ALL CAPS.
This is a perfect boom for the four-camera guinea pig sitcom I’m developing. Pickles is attached for a 13-episode order.
This must be the mic that Freddy used on “Fat Bottomed Girls”. Please practice safe mic, it could have live AIDS.
Does Bob Geldorf know?
SQUEE!! You said Pickles!!
Testicles
This is a comment. There are many comments like it, but this one is mine.
This is a test. This is only a test. If this comment were real, the world would exist outside my head.
This is a great blog, and you are putting out really interesting information. It’s so hard to find good conversations about this subject. I will continue to read your interesting information if you will click my link. Please click my link. Oh, yes, click it again! AGAIN! Whew! Ahem.
:click!:
Now I feel dirty.
[scrapes up ashes from brain bleach boiler cookfire; renders spam for lipids; adds dab of brain bleach and rosemary–passes brainbleach soap to dirty ghostie]
I almost deleted this until I realized it was you, Windy.
Do you have a newsletter to which I can subscribe?
A test, a most palpable test!
I have a pedipalpable test.
There’s egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam; spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam; or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Sorry, haven’t got any comments without spam.
Testes, testes. One…….um just one. I need to go have a chat with a guy about a thing.
Why are you talking about my testes? I hope it’s not my thing you want to talk about.
WHY does South America HATE YSaC?? Have we invaded their borders with our snark? Have we bought up all the spam they were saving for Mardi Gras? Have we done the unthinkable and forgotten our towel?
I have no answers, but I am pretty good at coming up with more questions.
Yay!
*blink, blink* Bianchi??? Is that you, oh male goddess of the Snark???