YSaC, Vol. 1741: The Fast and the Spurious
1998 Honda Civic Es Special eSport Editions – $1000
1998 Honda Racing Civic fuel : gastransmission : manual title status : clean
The car es in goo conditionss
Its fast and furios looking
Much JDM
The car has proffesionals stickers
And racing wings
17 inche rines
Cold air intakesThe car is 5 speeds with R makes its 6 speeds
It has the single cams no vtec much powers full
When I was growing up, we had a 1979 Chevrolet Chevette hatchback. With black plastic upholstery. When it got hot out, it would melt anything you put near it in seconds. I wonder if that’s what this ad means by “goo conditionss?” Probably not, though, since it has cold air intakes. Then again, those probably wouldn’t work in summer when there’s no cold air.
Also, I don’t think you’re normally allowed to count “reverse” towards the total number of speeds. Although the other possibility, that the car doesn’t go in reverse, but has a pirate gear, is intriguing.
Thanks for the ad, MC – you’re 2 for 2!
An acquaintance of mine, an old-school gearhead, would famously observe: “The performance of a driver was directly & inversely proportionate to the number of driving school decals on the ride; and the performance of that vehicle was directly and inversely proportionate ro the number of bolt-on “speed” accessories.”
Applying that rule, this non-minty shell probably would not drift nor be fast and furios <sic> even if upon a oil slick over a teflon surface as a dare to the Mythbusters crew.
Hmmm, it occurs that Spark’s 7-year old nephew was selected to write the CL ad,
[Corey] I think the author’s first language is Spanish. That would explain “es” for “is” and “rines” for “rims.” [/Corey]
[Matt] I think you’re right. /Matt
I agree. En Espanglish, “The car es in goo conditionss” sounds perfectamente correcto.
I’m more than a little concerned that Doge is selling his car. I guess the death of Paul Walker hit him harder than anyone realized. So depress. Much furios. Many sad.
My current vehicle has 7 speeds plus P, R, and N, for a total of, um, still 7 speeds. Also, the stickers aren’t professionals; they’re amateurs.
But they could still be proffesionals.
Welllll…..my car has 110 speeds, but I’d probably get arrested if I tried to use them all.
That’s great, but does it have Speed, starring Keanu Reeves?
If I paint the wheels of my grocery getter red, can I call it a race car too?
Sorry M2N2, but painted wheels alone do not a racing car make. You must needs paint (or sticker) racing stripes down the length of the car either down both sides, or the center of the hood, roof and trunk (or both). Said racing stripes may be any color that contrasts nicely with the paint job, but red is the preferred color.
And fins. You need fins.
I have one Finn! He’s 7.
Why do Sparkies always leave out the critical details — What color upholstery? How many cupholders? Are fuzzy dice included?
And what tune does the horn play?
Ride of the Valkyries, as it turns out.
Squee! Hi Digi!
Wait, if it has wings, doesn’t that make it a plane?
If it’s much powers full, does that make it a muscle plane?
If it has the single cams in existance, does that make it an enigma?
Too many questions for a Monday Morning.
I think the wings are to help you avoid (ahem) *accidents*.
By the way, Hammy, Punchity Punch Punch and stuff.
limelolly, the box be yours. Alone. All by yourself. The door is locked. It has professionals stickers.
Good morning, race fans!
I am all alone here,
there is no one here beside me,
all my problems they are gone,
there is no one to deride me,
but you gotta have friends,
Ahoy! They’ve released the Kraken!! Shift it into Aaarrrrrrr and let’s get the hell out of here!!
“gastransmission” For when your snail needs more than one speed.
Edit: or maybe you just need to fart faster.
I am afflicted with gastransmission on a regular basis. Thank jeebus I work alone…
It’s a lot easier to get a title status automatically, but manual title statuses are more thorough and less likely to have the wrong name on them. (Unless of course you are prone to misspelling your own name.)
Signed,
Old Monkey Vomit
I’m calling “Bullsh*t” on this one. And not just any bullsh*t, but “Red Bullsh*t”
That’s what she said…
That’s not what my mother used to call racing stripes.
If I remember correctly, R is a variable tied to ones sanity. According to Hitchhiker’s Guide, Slartibartfast’s little hover craft travelled at 17R.
Since I no longer have a Guide close at hand, and Google was no help, I am somewhat, but not entirely unsure of my facts.