YSaC, Vol. 1712: In which Richard Attenborough says, “Yup.”
2014 June 4
Lion portrait CHEAP – $10
Huge Portrait that we kept from when moved. Paid $40.00 and selling for $10.
[Richard Attenborough voice] The lion. Majestic, imposing, and totally not a tiger. Nope, not a tiger at all. No tigers here. That’s a lion. Yup. [end Richard Attenborough voice]
It’s been a while since we had a nice lion around here. It’s also been a while since I wrote a post. I figured I’d go with a classic to ease myself back into it. Thanks, Jen, for the low-hanging fruit!
Mislabeled tiger for cheap, oh my!
You can’t hide your lion eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you’d realize
There ain’t no way to hide your lion eyes….
This is [something clever and witty]. I [something banal and self-depricating] because [something something something]. Damn. You know, sometimes I wish I did drink coffee. It just feels far too early in the morning for coke-a-hol.
Au Contraire Yancy…it’s never too early in the morning for coke-a-hol….
…in fact, if anything, you’re behind schedule.
tits aside- only four days left in school….plus one more prep day. (piece of cake!)
To a neighborhood with a better optometrist, I hope…
A wim owey, a wim o wey,
A wim owey, a wim o wey,
In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
A tiger is confused;
A wim owey, a wim o wey,
A wim owey, a wim o wey,
Near the village full of sparkies,
A tiger is confused;
A wim owey, a wim o wey,
A wim owey, a wim o wey,
Hush my darling, stop calling the tiger
A lion to his face;
Let’s sneak away, let’s sneak away,
Or the striped cat will eat our faces…
Low Hanging Fruit is Sparkie’s They Might Be Giants tribute band. Even though Sparkie has never heard anything by TMBG. Not even in Istanbul.
Welcome Back, oh great and wise llama-nun! MBBUY!
It was supposed to be a lion portrait, but the artist had never seen a lion. This is why it is so cheap.
Sorry, can’t do witty with swollen knuckles.
retaining water, kelli???
No, I punched a brick wall.
retaining wall, kelli???
Punchity punch punched a brick wall???
*adjusts glasses, adopts snooty English accent*
I also do not see a giraffe, fox, hyena, wildebeest, crocodile, or dodo bird.
I do, however, see a velociraptor.
Should I warn Sparky?
Naaaaaaaaaaaahhh…..
It’s the eye of the lion, we are selling it cheap,
And we’re up to the challenge of denying
Any stripes on his face (they’re not even skin deep),
No, he’s watching us all with the eye……. of the lion.
[corey]Did you perhaps mean David Attenborough?[/corey]
Richard is the one that says “Yup”.
Hey! It’s uncle Not-a-[feline anatomical part of a] Lion! He’s a bit self conscience of his smile.
You know, because of his *whispers* dentures.
Sure, his face is all stripey, but his torso is plaid.
You know, if you had gone to the same school as I and sparky went to, you would know that that is in fact a lion portrait. it is sitting on a brick floor part way out of an egret. On the one side of it there is a lone cowboy boot, you know, because cowboys are always alone. and further behind that is a bowel full of identifiable items. The portrait is leaning against a door with three door knobs on it. Outside you can see a bunch of small shrubbery patches amongst the decorative bark. You can tell that it is a lion and not a tiger because tigers don’t have mains and the portrait is the main item in the photo.
(This comment should drive the grammar police insane.)
My what fearful symmetry you have! See what I did there I made an allusion. That means I’m clever, which as it turns out, doesn’t amount to much… But boy can I allude to a passage.
the traveler hasteth in the Evening!
(that’s all I can bring to the table… I’m only capable of making abstract literary based thoughts… or something)
James – we’re all about the abstract here…literary or otherwise. We’re also all about innuendo, and coffee slices. Especially the coffee slices.
Yes, C”….”J, we ARE all about the abstract here…..this is a lesser known Jackson Pollack…his drips and splatters came out looking like a lion. If you stare into the eyes long enough, it will begin to look like a duck, start rotating, and fly off into space. Go on, try it. It may take a while, but you must persevere….as long as it takes. (you’re getting sleepy…sleepy…your eyelids are growing heavy…you can’t keep your eyes open….)
Mayhaps the lion painted this portrait
I begin to suspect an educational plot in Sparkiis land to pretend that my wonderous ancestors are, pauses to spit, lions. There can be no other rational explanation for such confusions.
I am proposing the setting up of a fund to buy these misguided paintings. I shall call the fund Cheetah. Just because I can