YSaC, Vol. 1693: As for me and Newmark, we believe

2014 April 21

You Should be Ashamed of Your Selves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Almost every one that has been posting on Craigslist in childcare should be ashamed of them selves!!!!! This is a place where people should be posting there ads and get more customers or they should be able to get on to get quality daycare. If you didn’t notice there hasn’t been that much trafic on here. Maybe they found someone but I’m about to go to a different place, and I just feel bad for the owner of Craigslist because they are trying to bring you a succesful business to bring you free ads, and it’s people like the people that gossip and tell others that they don’t even know that they should commit suicide. Who knows were the people have been in there lives they might just do it, and I don’t know about you but the RAPTURE is coming and I don’t want to be here for the seven years after that. If you know a little bit about the BIBLE I would wise up, get your-self saved and start treating people like you are supposed to!!!!!
PS. Bring on those e-mails because watch out Devil get behind me, because GOD is in front of me leading the way to get people saved, and we WILL run you over!!!!!

Let me get this straight. You and God are going to run me over? I suppose it’s a better concept than “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer,” but not by much. I shall have to get in touch with the owner of Craigslist, and see if we can do a better job of providing quality daycare. Or at least ads for quality daycare. Or maybe quality ads. For daycare. Or something.

Now I’m confused. Perhaps I should tell others that they should commit suicide. But probably not.

Thanks for the post, MF!

32 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 April 21
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    The RAPTURE is coming. I’m pretty sure we will be judged on our ability to correctly use “your”, “you’re”, “they’re”, “there”, and “their”. So, get behind me, Satan, the Grammar Police are on the case!

    Adores: 10
    • 2014 April 21
      Brer Fox permalink

      Yeah, get behind her because I bet she knows how it feels to have satin on her backside.

      rereads MMNN’s comment to make sure I sound intelligent

      Um, is it too late to change my comment? I meant to say, “and yore”.

      Adores: 3
    • 2014 April 21
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      They keep pushing the release of the Rapture back. I finally broke down and bought a Ford Escape.

      Adores: 10
      • 2014 April 21
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        Been pining for the fjords, IF?

        Brer, satin undies are uncomfortable. Ask any female.

        Adores: 2
  2. 2014 April 21

    REPENT, sinners!!! The caps lock of truth and the repeated exclamation points of righteousness compel you!!!

    Adores: 15
    • 2014 April 21
      nojazzhere permalink

      “watch out Devil get behind me, because GOD is in front of me leading the way to get people saved, and we WILL run you over!!!!!!”

      Well, that explains my commute this morning….plus it was shear CHAOS at the day-care.

      Adores: 6
      • 2014 April 21
        nojazzhere permalink

        Uh, that’s “sheer CHAOS at the day-care”…..(what a dufus!!!)

        Adores: 3
      • 2014 April 21

        I’m easily confused. If I get behind you and then you run me over, are you running backwards or in the wrong direction?

        Jazzy – running with scissors is Shear CHAOS.

        Adores: 9
        • 2014 April 21
          MissMommyNiceNice permalink

          Shear Chaos is the name of my Edward Scissorhands remake.

          Adores: 4
  3. 2014 April 21

    I don’t know, after the Rapture sounds pretty good to me. I won’t have to buy any clothes, I can just pick up the ones left behind by people who got Raptured. I’d definitely wash them first, though. And no socks or underwear, I’m sorry but those are just things you buy new.

    Adores: 6
    • 2014 April 21
      One Moving Violation permalink

      I was ruptured once just like you. It was when I took an arrow in the knee.

      Adores: 3
      • 2014 April 21
        nojazzhere permalink

        RAPTURED!!!….OMV…..that’s RAPTURED!!!…(sheesh!!!!)

        Adores: 3
  4. 2014 April 21
    meeshybee permalink

    And these are the kind of nut-cases you get when people listen to flaming shrubberies.

    God spake unto Jebediah, “Seeketh thy quality childcare on Craigslist, and shame shall be upon the selves.”

    Where’s that holy hand grenade when you need it?

    Adores: 6
  5. 2014 April 21
    camille permalink

    Yup, the best way I can think of to get people saved is to run them over.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 April 21
      limelolly permalink

      Also obtain a significant other.

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 April 21
        CapnMac permalink

        Ok, why do I hear “Harcourt Fenton Mudd!” in perverse stereo . . . ?

        Adores: 1
    • 2014 April 21
      CapnMac permalink

      Do you mean as in run over by bulls, especially the sort with hooves made of steel and brands still on fire?

      Or, with a pavement roller, a la “Fish Called Wanda”?

      Adores: 2
  6. 2014 April 21
    HamCan permalink

    Hulk God SMASH!

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 April 21
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Old Testament, real Wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone pouring into the streets.

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 April 21
        One Moving Violation permalink

        I’ve been fired and I’ve been to Brimstone twice. Does that make me eligible?

        Adores: 2
  7. 2014 April 21
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Hey, I don’t remember getting punched into the box! Good morning, those who do not use suntan lotion on their necks!

    Adores: 1
  8. 2014 April 21
    One Moving Violation permalink

    If you didn’t notice there hasn’t been that much trafic on here…
    …and we WILL run you over!!!!!

    See, you should be able to see why there is no traffic where you are. They are afraid you will run them over. You are the very cause of your lament.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2014 April 21
    One Moving Violation permalink

    You Should be Ashamed of Your Selves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Awww.
    *casts eyes toward floor*
    Yeah, you’re right. None of my other selves have been trafficking on craigslist in the daycare section. I’ll have to sit own and talk to each one individually. Maybe on a park bench. None of my other selves have any children, but I will explain to them why it is so important to read all those daycare ads on craigslist. Because, you know, craigslist has free ads and if craigslist isn’t successful, God might run you over.

    *picks up eyes and posts comment on craigslist*

    p.s. One of my other selves, Bubba, has a monster truck. He would like to get to know you. So if you could post your address and stand out on the street in front of your house, he would like to come by and get a good look at you.

    Adores: 6
  10. 2014 April 21
    camille permalink

    ” it’s people like the people that gossip and tell others that they don’t even know that they should commit suicide”

    I don’t think I’ve ever uttered the sentence, “I don’t even know that you should commit suicide.” For one thing, it’s pretty oddly worded; for another thing, I’m generally opposed to suicide, so I’d be more likely to say something more direct, like “Please do not commit suicide.”

    Adores: 7
  11. 2014 April 21
    Brer Fox permalink

    Apparently the person in the above ad is upset that nobody is responding to his/her ad for daycare services and contributes this to everybody siding with the devil instead of God so that is why everybody should be ashamed and commit suicide and get run over because his/her daycare is the best because the RAPTURE is coming and he/she doesn’t want to be here for the next seven years after that and if you know anything about the BIBLE you should know that if you don’t have enough toddlers in your daycare you have to stay for the extra seven years so you should help him/her out by trafficking your toddlers to his/her daycare because he/she might suddenly feel the urge to run you over.

    Aside: The above ad reads like it was posted by an indignant, holier than though female. However, I wrote my run-on rant as though I was open to the poster being either male or female because someone might ask me why I assume it was written by a female sparky instead of a male sparky. Well, I’ll tell you. If it were a male sparky it would have said, “We will hunt you down and then run you over!!!!!”

    Duh!!!!!

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 April 22
      meeshybee permalink

      I assumed the same.. because, living in the south, I am very familiar with the type.

      Adores: 5
  12. 2014 April 21

    Please line up near the Punch-O-Matic: Hammy, Hammy – wait, is that a typo? No? Okay. And Dave with his ferrets. Punchity Punch Punch! Congratulations and get out of the box.

    Good Morning, Raptors!

    Adores: 2
  13. 2014 April 21
    Ralph permalink

    “Who knows were the people have been in there lives….”

    Who knows Were? I never heard of him. Who knows What, because Who’s on first, and ready to tag Sparky, Were, God, the Devil, or any other runners.

    In the meantime, I don’t want to wait seven years, so I’m looking for a velocirapture.

    Adores: 9
  14. 2014 April 21

    I’m so sorry, guys. Looks like my mother has discovered Craigslist.

    Giant sigh…………..

    Adores: 12
    • 2014 April 21
      nojazzhere permalink

      We’re sorry, too…C”…”J……(another giant sigh) We’re.sorry.too.

      Adores: 4
      • 2014 April 22
        Windrose permalink

        I need to see a show of hands. Who’s sorry, now?

        Adores: 4
    • 2014 April 21
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      Are you and my husband siblings?!

      Adores: 2

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.