YSaC, Vol. 1690: Driver, follow that dirigible!

2014 April 14

This was posted on a Craigslist somewhere in the United States. Of America.

Looking for a Ride to Germany (Guilford College > Munich)


Hey Folks,
My friend Emma is studying abroad in Germany, and I’d like to see her over Thanksgiving break, so if you’re heading that way, please give me a rang (###-###-####). I don’t smoke, I enjoy most music, and I can help with the driving (or co-piloting).
Thanks for looking to carpool,
Henry

Absolutely! Let’s do this. You may have your choice of travel options:

1. Trebuchet
2. Motorcycle and large ramp.
3. Really big rubber band stretched between two trees.
4. Trampoline

Of course, all of these are provided by the ACME corporation, so they may be of dubious reliability. On the other hand ACME is known for extremely prompt shipping.

Thanks to Sally, who sent this in in 2009, with our apologies for only just now getting around to using it.

38 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 April 14
    CapnMac permalink

    O Paspartu, how times have changed!

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 April 14

      Yeah, but Emma’s friend doesn’t have 80 days to get there!

      Adores: 0
    • 2014 April 14
      Francois Tremblay permalink

      Passe-Partout?

      Adores: 1
  2. 2014 April 14

    Exiting the box after a week-long and highly entertaining stay: C””J, LimeLolly, M2N2, and Irregular “That’s the name of my cover band” Fractal! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning Plague Lovers! (Happy Passover, everyone!)

    Adores: 2
  3. 2014 April 14
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Sparky Henry, there isn’t enough coffee in the world to help me explain international travel and geography to you. I hope Guilford College isn’t too expensive, because your parents. Enjoy your life in their basement.

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 April 14

      Unless there’s more than one Guilford College, I know where this school is. All Sparky has to do is drive west until he hits Portugal, then veer north through Spain and France and he’s there.

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 April 14
        CapnMac permalink

        Exactly. A left out of Greensboro and going over a hill and a dale past gramma’s house would get a Quaker to King of Prussia, PA–shouldn’t that be good enough for Emma?

        Adores: 3
        • 2014 April 15
          Lou Stool permalink

          I grew up 10 minutes from King of Prussia. True story.

          Adores: 1
      • 2014 April 15
        tigprincess permalink

        Ghostie, isn’t driving east a better option … assuming Henry is in the USA ? if he’s in USSR then ….?? otherwise its a long, long way west via Malasia, India, Afghanistan and others ….. ???

        Adores: 0
        • 2014 April 15

          Nertz. I meant east, not west.

          Adores: 0
  4. 2014 April 14

    On I-40 eastbound,
    Henry’s on the exit ramp.
    Let’s hope that you don’t drown;
    Pavement’s getting kinda damp.

    Highway to the Sparky Zone,
    Ride into the Sparky Zone.

    Adores: 1
  5. 2014 April 14

    Holy Watery Graves, Batman!

    Not to worry, Robin! To the Bat-car/submarine!

    Adores: 2
  6. 2014 April 14

    I myself have never visited Guilford College, but I have difficulty believing it is greater than Munich.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 April 14
      nojazzhere permalink

      If you really want to get somewhere fast around Munich, try the Blitzkrieg…..it’s fast as lightning!!!!

      Adores: 4
    • 2014 April 14

      I have. It’s not.

      Adores: 1
  7. 2014 April 14
    meeshybee permalink

    Maybe he’s trying to bum a lift from Bugs Bunny. After all, he got to the South Pole just by missing that left at Albuquerque.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2014 April 14
    HamCan permalink

    “Ride to Germany” is my Rammstein, Beach Boys mash up band.

    Adores: 8
    • 2014 April 14
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      And with that, my sequel to Top Secret! will be complete.

      Adores: 5
  9. 2014 April 14
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Okay, let’s do this.

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 April 14
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      I was expecting a hovercraft full of eels.

      Adores: 3
    • 2014 April 14
      CapnMac permalink

      That so needs a boat trailer to pull behind . . . 🙂

      Adores: 3
    • 2014 April 15
      wanda permalink

      The remarkable thing about that car is the passenger turned from a blonde woman into a brunette male.

      Adores: 0
  10. 2014 April 14
    Dan permalink

    I should probably have deleted the name of the college. Oh well.

    Adores: 2
  11. 2014 April 14
    mudslicker permalink

    What is that? Gilbert Gottfried College?

    Talk about Breaking Bad….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQRFIUVqN3E

    Adores: 1
  12. 2014 April 14
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Nobody does Thanksgiving break like the Germans. Angst-ridden bikini-clad babes carving the knockwurst (wink wink, nudge nudge)…..

    Adores: 1
  13. 2014 April 14
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    They just need to find someone who’s traveling by map.

    Adores: 5
  14. 2014 April 14
    HamCan permalink

    Well, if the carpool it makes sense that the carocean too…

    Adores: 3
  15. 2014 April 14
    CapnMac permalink

    I rather “like” how ‘Enery tosses in a willingness to assist in “piloting.”

    Rubs me wrong, that does. Being a Pilot is a noble and considered vocation. It requires dedication and a commitment to know merely know the quirks and vagaries of a given waterway, but to understand how that waterway reacts to storms, calms, seasonal changes. It’s a title years in the making, and tested every time a Pilot goes to work (foundering a vessel is something long remembered, and not to one’s advantage).

    Oh, and that plane-flying thing is tough, too, ‘Enery.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 April 15
      Ralph permalink

      It won’t get you to Munich, but there’s another definition.

      First you cut your firewood, then you pilot.

      Adores: 1
  16. 2014 April 14
    Ralph permalink

    “…so if you’re heading that way, please give me a rang….”

    Recalculating….

    A rang of fire?

    Adores: 1
  17. 2014 April 14
    Ralph permalink

    When in Munich….

    Adores: 1
  18. 2014 April 14
    KittyShark permalink

    Oh yes, please drive to Germany.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2014 April 15
    meeshybee permalink

    Maybe he could use 99 Luftballons?

    Adores: 9
    • 2014 April 15
      Windrose permalink

      Are they Rot?

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 April 15
        nojazzhere permalink

        Can we stop at Stuckeys???? Can we, please???!!! Please???!!!!

        Adores: 1
  20. 2014 April 15
    Ralph permalink

    Actually, the trampoline is for AVOIDING Sparky.

    Adores: 1
  21. 2014 April 16
    Penelope permalink

    Perhaps international travel is not actually required for this assignment. Maybe Emma isn’t studying abroad in Germany. She could be up in Munich, ND studying a broad in Germany. Typos happen, people…

    Adores: 3

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