YSaC, Vol. 1677: You’re a real gone guy
2014 March 14
Here’s two ads posted in the same [location]:
Free: Feral cat colony feeding containers
I have several containers used for feeding our neighborhood strays that I no longer need. Picture shows fraction of what’s available.Please respond only if you are serious about picking up.
Hmm… I wonder why she no longer needs the containers for feeding her neighborhood strays?
Free: Pill bottles
I have 3-4 bags of empty pill bottles. They are great for storing small items or craft projects.
PLEASE respond only if you are serious about picking up. Thanks!
Oh. Because she poisoned them all.
Thanks for this horror story, Suzi!
Where haz alls mine outdoors friendz gone? Why haz they all gone aways? More cheezburger for me!
This may be the saddest comment ever on YSaC. 🙁
Sorry to bring down the room! I’ll be in the corner.
Well, Dan is educated and literate–it could be that he was expressing a lament that not only can we all read Lolspeak, but that writing in said argot is equally common.
Quod cogitat nihil est, tan ergo nihil cogitat. (or words to that effect, been a long week)
Well, one supposes we could take solace in the fact that feline enumeration is None, One, Many, & nap.
Alternative theory: the cat pictured has rallied his and her brethren to rise up against the feeding human. It’s actually that cat posting the ads to lure in other unsuspecting homo sapiens and feast on their tasty, tasty flesh.
Do you also have any baby shoes?
Let’s be fair, “feral cat feeding containers” does sound a hair classay-ier than “bushels of random containers what we bin feedin all’n cats from.”
It’s too early to look the satute up, but, I’m pretty sure that containers which have held prescription medications, ever, cannot be re-used for any purpose. No mater what the cats keep telling you.
I think the cat in the second photo is saying, “What are you doing, and why am I not the center of attention?”
…and I think the fact that the cats are telling Sparky things can be explained by the Plethora of Pills..which incidentally is probably the name for IF’s Tears for Fears tribute band.
This is your cat.
This is your cat on drugs.
Any questions?
I can haz (more) drugs?
There are several other possible assumptions here about why the feral cats are no longer being fed:
A) The Crazy Cat Lady is now back on her meds.
B) An aggressive Not. A. Lion or the equivalent showed up at her feeders.
C) She learned that Fox News lied about Obamacare paying for cat food & drugs.
D) She is now using medical marijuana instead of pills, but got the munchies and ate everything herself.
E) There is no Crazy Cat Lady. These ads were posted by the cat.
F) ???
F) Crazy cat lady could no longer afford food for the ferals, so they eated her.
G) Crazy Cat Lady discovered internet cat videos, which didn’t come with fleas, didn’t scratch or bite, and didn’t view CCL’s begonia bed as a public toilet but still provided all the feline squeefulness her crazy heart desired.
H) crazy cat lady hallucinations the kittehs due to the plethora off antipsychotics she is prescribed.
H)(1) Meanwhile, the neighbors reported problems with raccoons and rats.
Option A is the first one that occurred to me, but option E is also appealing.
Wow. So, there’s no plastics recycling in [location], then?
Still, at least the containers are clean. Crazy cat lady presumably has some standards.
A person could quibble that only the visible portion of “fraction of what’s available” seems to be washed. No telling the state of the 3-4 bags of margarine, sour cream, onion dip, et al, tubs are in.
Could very well be that the photo is of the bowls used by the indoor feral cats.
Here’s what REALLY happened. She adopted or found new homes for all the kitties, and had all the strays nuetered or spayed, and there is love and peace everywhere the end.
Windy, that is an amazing sentiment. My co-worker used to catch the strays that came through her yard, take them to be fixed, and then re-release them. So I know there’s at least one very well-meaning soul out there. I think I’m going to accept your explanation of the events so I can believe the world my child will enter in July is the place of love and peace you describe.
Yes, Windy….THAT’S what REALLY happened….(keep telling yourself….that’s what REALLY happened)
After some consideration, I’m thinking this is a situation where an elderly relative has passed, and the house is getting straightened out.
The pride of cats will have moved along after the feeding stopped.
The rain washed the feeding bowls clean.
Now, it’s merely down to cleaning up 2nd Aunt thrice-removed Tootie’s house cleaned up, which includes policing up decades of containers, pill bottles, and the like. Not really hoarding, as those are grocery bags, rather than 33 gallon leaf-and-grass bags.
Which will likely wind up being a new series on Fox with Zoë Deschamel as Sparkie, and hijinks gallore, what with, no, you can’t sell used pill bottles. If Fox then follows their form of late, the plot will not have been developed beyond the pilot, functionally maiming any drama or interest the series might have (but, Fox will option the show for 6 episodes to fill one of the gaping holes in their schedule anyway).
And it will have a happy ending in any event–after all, Game of Thrones starts up again in April.
That’s the most logical explanation. Up until the Zoe part, that is.
Make it a reality show. In episode 1, Gordon Ramsay enters the house and spends the entire episode screaming swear words at the top of his lungs about the hoarding. In episode 2, Snooki enters the house and, um, does whatever it is that she does.
Oops, that’s a typo.
Itz sposed to reed
Free: Fill bottlz
Happy Pi Day.
The cats, the bottles used for craft items — I remember a poster from several years ago who dressed up cats in little costumes and made them perform Biblical drama before ticket-buying audiences — could this be the same woman? And she’s selling the dishes and bottles because they finally fled the area in a deepening spiral of shame?
Thanks for the Stray Cats allusion in the title!