YSaC, Vol. 1652: I Am Not Worthy Of Your Love
Actors to play film crew for 3-4 hours, fun shoot
I’m shooting a fake PSA where I address an actor I’m a fan of to ask him to appear in a short film I’m making. I will address the camera like at the end of those serious episodes of 90s sitcoms when the cast would make a PSA about drugs or gun violence, only this will be goofy.
I will then trip and fall, and some of the “crew” (played by you) will come from behind the camera to watch me and help me. One or two people will try to help me to the bathroom and end up repeatedly dunking my head in the toilet and then standing me up. Then holding me down while I get stun gunned. It will make sense on set, in a Tim and Eric style of sense.
It will take place in the early afternoon sometime this week if I can get everyone together at a house in [location]. My budget’s low so it doesn’t pay, but good food will be provided for everyone. Most of the “crew” will just stand and watch me in a deadpan as I’m repeatedly swirlied and stun gunned.
Thanks.
I don’t… I… What? I can’t even.
It took me a few tries to even parse what the hell is going on here. Apparently this person is a big fan of Actor X. In order to try to appeal to Actor X, they are going to film this Funny or Die reject video and that will somehow impress Actor X enough to come appear in this OTHER hypothetical short film that Sparky here wants to make.
Is it just me, or are you starting to suspect that Actor X might be Jodie Foster?
I’m sorry – I have to go ice my brain now. It hurts.
Thanks for this… whatever it is, Mike!
So is this just a plea for all the high school bullies out there? “Come give me swirlies and stun gun me and I’ll feed you!”
Not a meeshybee “style of sense”.
Hi, are you a slightly unbalanced borderline personality who loves films like The Hangover Part 3 and Howard & Kim’s Christmas Vacation? Do you enjoy torturing people you don’t know with toilet water and tasers? Do you eat food and own a spare pair of professional grade headphones? Then I have just the job for you! Please submit a headshot (of you, not a head you have severed and photographed for the memories) and resume in the form of a compilation video of your drunken antics to be considered for this lucrative gig. If Zack Gallafanakis is suitably impressed, it could mean big things for everyone involved. I mean, who doesn’t want their favorite actor to take out a PFA on them?
Tim & Eric have a unique, for want of a better term, “style.” To me, this fandom sometimes approaches French devotion of Jerry Lewis–I know it exists, I just haven’t a clue why.
One might say they possess a very unique set of skills…
Today, in a very special episode of You Suck at Craigslist, we address an increasingly important problem in our society, namely, people who try to make a “fun shoot” when they should limit their joke-making to forwarding cat memes.
I blame Ashton Kutcher for this, and think he needs a good spanking.
I hereby volunteer…
Hey Sparky!!!…while we’ve got everyone together, why don’t we shoot a pron film at the same time? After all, we’ll have a toilet AND a stun gun available….sounds like everyone’s ultimate fantasy…uh, at least some people’s fantasy…well, OK, its MY fantasy…and if C..J wants to handle the spanking scene, that’s all right by me….we’ll have PSA’s, PFA’s, and PB&J’s…..cool!!!!
Since there is a toilet, can I wear my PFD?
Hey, nojazzhere. I know what PSAs and PP&Js are but, but what is a PFA? I checked out Urban Dictionary, but none of the plethora of definitions there seem to apply here. Care to educate me?
Ask MissMommy… she referenced it first. I assumed it had something to do with a restraining order….or a hit contract.
I’m going with “Personal Freedom Action”. It just sounds more ‘Merican than “Restraining Order”.
Found it. “Protection From Abuse”. Still like mine better.
I’ve already written five slash fanfics based on this.
Because…. Pizza!
Probably yet another sad case of I-can’t-afford-my-kink-so-maybe-I-can-get-it-on -CL-for-free wishful thinking.
That was my first thought on this too, this guy wants bargain bin bsdm. And then I hated myself for thinking that… been on the internet too long. Too long.
My other thought was that this guy is an extreme fan of Jackass and hopes to impress Johnny Knoxville.
*Grabs stun gun*
Dzzzzt!
No Sparky, bad idea.
Sparky: But…
Dzzzzt!
No Sparky, bad idea.
Sparky: But…
Dzzzzt!
No Sparky…
Sparky: But…
Dzzzzt!
Sparky: But…
Dzzzzt!
S: But…
Dzzzzt! Dzzzzt!
No.
S: But…
Dzzzzt! Dzzzzt! Dzzzzt!
You know, it really is better to give than to receive.
Something tells me Sparky will be watching this film over and over again, sock and Nivea in hand, as he gets his jollies picturing Actor X watching him be swirlied and tazed by his crew in this Tim and Eric wannabe epic.
Though why anyone would wannabe like Tim and Eric is beyond me. Unless they’re a 13 year old boy. Oh! That explains it. Sparky is a 13 year old boy! Carry on, then.
At least he can spell.
Thanks Meeshybee.