YSaC, Vol. 1598: Album 1598
looking for
im in need of house hold thing and use carpet redoing my places cant of fored much pluse looking for pluse sizes clothing and some kids cloth and out door toys and things to sit on pluse stuff for my places like a couch and some othere stuff if u have stuff u like to dontaed or just get ride of i be glade to take it off your hands pluse also looking for some birds or a reel smal dog i will give them lots of love . i dont drive at this time pluse looking for a swiming pool so when the grandkis come they can have fun at grandmas if have any qustions please call or texts me at ###-###-#### . i mean a smal dog please no meadom or big thank u all so much
I’m in need of a house hold thing,
A house hold thing needs me.
I’ll take a small dog off your hands,
Any questions you can please texts me.
Well I’m not worried about grandkis,
I know they’ll be good boys.
They’ll be great swimers ’cause I’ll have a pool
And play with all the out door toys.
With profound apologies to Leslie Braunstein, and thanks to Wendy for the post.
Okay, lets start by taking the “e” off of the end of pluse and place it at the end of cloth. Next, let’s just forget it. Once I saw “of fored”, my mind slipped out of gear and now I’m stuck. Would someone mind giving me a push?
*hooks One up to the Brain De-Fib-U-Lator (R)*
STAND BACK! *throws switch*
ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
Oh, wow! Uh, clean-up in the lounge, stat!
A mind is a terrible thing
Alas, poor
HoratioOMV,Onst hathe onlie “pushe” t’offer;
Pray prithee forgive such meagre
An’ meane offring.
This looks like something I might have written when I was heavily medicated. That is about the only reasonable explanation I can come up with. Of course, we usually don’t deal with reasonable here.
I have an extra shift key, spellchecker, and various punctuation marks I’d like to dontae. Unfortunately my reel is only good for smal catfish, not dogs.
You don’t have to dontae them. Grandma Sparky will trade you a lifetime supply of the letter e for them.
What if e e cummings posted stream of consciousness poetry on craigslist?
Perhaps Sparkie from the other day may have a chance to unload… er dontae his swining pool… oh, but she is looking for a swiming pool.
“Reel Smal Dog” is the name of my Reel Big Fish cover band.
I was going to go with:
reel small dog is the name of my Reel Big Fish/Dr Dog mashup band.
Sorry guys….I’ve already taken “reel small dog” for my Trout Fishing in America tribute band. But if you like, you can use (as inspired by this post) “Segue…What’s a Segue?” ….(said breathlessly)
O/T: Happy Birthday to Windrose, who is 26 today.
Happy Craigslist to you..
Happy Craigslist to you..
Happy Craigslist and sucking..
Happy Craigslist to you…..
and……
You are my Windy, my only Windy…
You make me chirpy, when posts are gray.
You’ll never know dear, how much we love you,
please don’t take the sucking away…..(oh dear, that sounds so wrong)
Dirty birdy! And I mean you, jazzy, not windy!
Thank you all for the grate comments! 8) You make getting older a lot of fun.
Bite your tongue!
She’s not a day older than 25!
I really don’t like to dontaed. Last time I tried, I got a wicked rash.
Dear Sparkie/Sparkette of Questionable Intelligence,
For ‘cloths’ you can ‘of fored’ and ‘pluse’ all the other things you need, please take your ample-sized tukus to the nearest Sprawl-Mart forthwith.
You may even find a ‘reel smal not meadom’ dog there. Just look for the open hatchback or dropped tailgate on a vehicle surrounded by people of questionable lineage oohing and ahhing.
Sincerely,
Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Feifings and;
Lokul Tur Gide
Emanual Kant wase a reale pissant
Who was varie rarely stable.
Eidecker, Eindecker hath boosie beggare
Wha caud drink thy undre table.
Oh, fornicate the penguin on the tv!
tl:dr
Capn….is the “penguin on the TV” another Monty Python reference???? (added to the larch and lumberjack sketches) I feel so at home.
All I need is everything
Except a meadom or large
All I need is a miracle
or was it all I need is love? Love is all I need?
So much broken I don’t know where to start.
The notion of a reel small dog struck me as an amusing picture. I can’t photoshop, I’m technologically deficient, but this is the twenty-first century. Surely someone on the internet already read my mind and made one…?
Believe it or not “reel dog” is a google search fill-in. I didn’t quite get the kind of reel that I was expecting, but there’s plenty of images out there of “reel dog”s. I even found a cute one of a dog that must surely be small. However, I’ve completely forgotten how to include links without breaking the stylesheet, and it’s not nearly cute enough to justify that.
As for a house hold thing: I believe you can make those yourself if you have a shovel, lots of concrete, and plenty of time.
Google tells me that a “reel dog” is a dog that has starred in a movie.
If I give you some birds, how do I know you won’t stuff them in your places?
? Isn’t that what birds are for? Stuffing? Or is that only unthawed birds.
….and gerbils?….
Silva and TC, Congrats on spending such a special day in the box. You are the present I forgot to open, but that’s all in the past, the future looks bright! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Out Door Toys!