YSaC, Vol. 1597: Norwegian Wouldn’t
2013 September 10
free free
Oak tree great for winter wood but u must cut down u cut whole tree get what u won’t I will get brush up myself call me at ### ### ####
The good news is, this person will allow you the privilege of cutting down their tree for them.
The bad news? You’ve got to create a logical paradox by taking only the wood that you won’t take, possibly causing an apocalyptic fracture of the space-time continuum.
But hey, at least you get to cut down their tree.
Thanks Kim!
I didn’t know there was more to the whole wood question than just morning wood. Now there are seasonal differences. I may need to do more research. 8)
At my age, it’s more like mourning wood. Unless you were talking about the apartment complex of the same name.
I dunno, if winter wood requires something to be cut down, there might not be a lot of people who think that’s an idea worth pursuing.
No. 1, The Larch.
Extra Web Boss points to Dan for the Beatles reference! And a PSA: Don’t drink and read YSaC. Really.
“And a PSA: Don’t read YSaC without drinking. Really.”…..now Windy, you had to see that coming….
I try not to look. It’s rather personal.
Looking is fine–but skinny-dipping rules apply: No pointing and laughing!
The pool water was COLD!!!
I couldn’t help it, a fish tickled my foot!
I tried to drink YSaC, but it was a bit chunky. Will It Blend?
If Sparky isn’t particular about his house, I can cut down the tree whole. Having an insured professional cut it down in pieces is probably less dangerous, but this is the free market — caveat emptyhead.
However, it’s a fair deal; the tree gets what I won’t, and Sparky gets to brush up on his spelling and punctuation for his next listing: “u fx my roof.”
I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK….
¿caveat arbor?
caveat adore?
Caviar Empty?
CatMath Fail
If you want some oak wood,
Really want some oak wood,
If you want some oak wood,
Cut it free.
[Free, free, cut it free.]
I can’t believe Sparky isn’t even offering a case of beer, that’s the standard redneck payment for this type of work. Because, you know nothing goes better with chainsaws than drunken antics. Wait, let me get my camera. Ok, and, go!
I know, right? How can you catch that “Hold my beer and watch this” moment if you don’t have the beer?
Since Sparky says he is willing to brush up, I would suggest he start with his grammar.
Doors!
Why? What’d she do?
So take your hard hat off when you’re cutting for me
And stand back when I’m cutting the tree
This old Spark that used to be
Brushed round and round and round the tree
Silver chainsaw come to me
I’ll only use you if it’s free
So take your hard hat off when you’re cutting for me
I’ll never pay you, work for free
Work for free, when you cut the tree
How many trips to the ER are preceeded with the exclamation….”Hey guys!…watch this!!!!!!”?
In my experience, most of them.
42.
Sparky’s got a brush up himself.
That’s gotta hurt.
That is best only when you are with the one you love or lovin’ the one you’re with.
Because a group setting can be embarrassing.
Wasn’t there someone else a while back who said something like “Do what you won’t with it”? If they get together, would that be the conversational equivalent of dividing by zero?
“I won’t to go to the store today.”
“Well, I won’t to say home, won’t you go pick up a pizza?”
“Yes, I already said I won’t to.”
“Will you or won’t you?”
“Well, I won’t to but I don’t have to.”
*explosion*
Oh, how can you say that you will when you won’t?
Say you do, baby, when you don’t?
Let me know, honey, how you feel
Tell the truth now, is love real?
But uh oh, honey don’t…
[obligatory reference to the Monty Python “Lumberjack” sketch.]
Aleister Crowley dabbled with this during his early experiments with occultism.
“To do what thou won’t shall be the whole of the law” sounds impressive at first glance, but it turns out to be completely impractical and impossible, even by the standards of religions.
OT:
We once had a friend cut down a small tree in our front yard with a chainsaw. A mutual friend that lives a block away came running up, holding a beer ( of course) breathless and said, “I heard a chainsaw!” He then proceeded to ask to use the chainsaw, to which friend #1 replied, “I don’t know, this is my favorite chainsaw.” Upon which an in- depth conversation on the merits of various chainsaws ensued. Much drink was beveraged and the tree was removed. Once again, I have to say I love my friends, but, ah, Pennsyltucky!
I spent 26 years cutting and hauling my own firewood to heat my house, so I actually do know something about cutting down trees. Among other things, I learned that they don’t always fall the way you plan, so you need an escape route. I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t trust Sparky to get the brush up and out of the way before the tree is cut. I would do it myself, as is my won’t.
Get the Brush Up and Out? I loved that James Brown track.
Ralph, that’s awesome, considering you are only 27 years old!
Well you can’t always get what you won’t
but if you try sometimes
you might find
you cut down a tree!
I saw what you did there.
nojazzhere, you are one of our unsing heros! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Woods of Other Seasons!