YSaC, Vol. 1565: Mototurophilia
2013 July 26
Cheese Car (Off Road)
Great for kids, or the non-lactose intolerant
I’m actually fascinated by this. As you may or may not be aware, the original “Mr. Potato Head” kit only included the accessories, such as the nose and feet. You supplied your own actual potato.
This appears to be a similar principle, based on the photo – you supply a lump of cheese, and then attach various pieces parts to it to make a car. Because… um…
Now that you mention it, “Mr. Potato Head” was a pretty dumb idea too, wasn’t it?
Thanks for the cheese, Elisha!
I can’t even begin to make fun of the concept of an off-road cheese car, because I’m stuck on the fact that this is (as far as I can tell) a photograph of a computer screen showing an image file (possibly being displayed using the built-in picture viewer in Windows).
An image file of what appears to be concept art for the cheese racer’s packaging, and rather poorly done concept art at that.
Looks like a product box mock-up to my eye.
Not a product test–there are no tabs, folds, or reliefs laid out. Just an artwork test.
If Spark’ is interested, I can trade some real-live production run test shots for butter boxes for “BRAND butter, product of DAIRY dairies, in Outbythecows, State, USA,” for cheap. I even have magick beanz to go with, too.
I hope he names it Louise.
Sparky had me until “Off Road.” I so wanted to try it on the Beltway.
Dude, seriously, how many times have I gotta remind you that Gouda ain’t street legal?
If you wanna take it on the pave, you’ve gotta spring for a nice, hard Bleu de Gex.
Man, you get all the cool cars.
All I’ve got is this old, clunky Mozzarella Model 5 that I’ve had for six years. It’s all dried out and bland, and it leaves little flakes everywhere. I’ve gotten pulled over three times for that.
I’d stay away from the Limburger Lamborghini, if I were you.
Well, I’ve personally been looking at the Toyota Brie-us, if that means anything.
*puts hands over Mr. Potato Head’s ears* Don’t listen to the cranky ostrimu, Mr. P. You are hours of fun for the whole family, ages 3 and up. You were the first toy ever advertised on television! You were the spokesspud for the Great American Smoke Out campaigne! And you won a President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports award in 1995. You even have your own Facebook page! You rock!
All that for a potato?
Brb, making Apple Ninja action figure, gonna make tens of dollars.
I lost all respect for him when he did the Burger King commercials, promoting their fries. What kind of tater chooses money over his spuds?
Maybe Mr. Potatohead is a secretly a potato-cannibal?
I have his t shit*!!!
Mr. P. Head at the bottom of a deep cavern with his arm stuck under a rock. Title of work:
127 Seconds
*sadly, it is not autographed
If we were talking race builds, I’m fairly certain Roquefort would be fantastic at cutting the cheese in the Indie 500.
Go Cheese Racer!
Go Cheese Racer!
Go Cheese Racer, Goooooooooo – oooooooooh!
I’ll only drive an American cheese car…bland but reliable…just like me.
In my commute last year, along the Roman Circus gladiatoris which is the Dallas North Tollway, “Cheese Racer” was a label I applied to many a driver. Particularly those demonstrating just how under-qualified to operate their mid-life over-compensation.
None of which seemed to deter them from playing out roles from a less-sublime car-racing anime from the ’60s. Why it was a regular reunion tour, with Rex, and Speedy, and the monkey, the monkey’s uncle, all the simian aunties, cousins, nephews, nieces, et al.
Sadly, though, these lyrics:
“…Swerving in my lane/Causing lots’a danger/Honking my horn/Shooting you the finger/Flippin’ on my bright lights/But, you’re just to dim to know…”
Just will not lend themselves to the Speed Racer theme song (and I had too many opportunities to try this sad exercise).
Sadly, Cap’n I know exactly what you are talking about. And it applies to the 35’s (E and W), LBJ, PGBT, Loop 12, and…well, just about every other road around here.
In my experience, all that cheese can make it difficult to, er, go.
This will not make for happy cows. I mean, imagine having the little Lego dude Cheddaring along in his Fontina, and all of a sudden he’s Swissed by a Goat. That dude will be Creamed. Then the cows have to start all over again.
And that’s not gouda for the economy.
Oh, and the process where the mix of rennet and pressure forms the cheese changes the lactose into a different form. This can make cheese the only dairy product the medically (as opposed to self-diagnosed) lactose-intolerant can tolerate. Something which cannot be said of ice cream, most yoguhrts, and malted bovine milk.
This gives me a great idea for a Pixar Cars/Ratatouille crossover fanfic.
What a friend we have in cheeses.
My curds and whey, they comfort me.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of dairy, I shall fear no lactose.
This has GOT to be a hit in Green Bay…
Also, I like cheese, but not to race. I also like pie, but not with cheese.
I like bread and butter
I like toast and jam
that’s what my baby feeds me
I’m her lovin’ man….*
*dumbest song EVER!!!!
Speaking for the non-lactose intolerant, if it ain’t dairy, WE WON’T STAND FOR IT!
We’re not gonna churn it!!!
No!, we ain’t gonna churn it!!!
We’re not gonna churn it..anymore…
“I’m sorry, we’re out of the “Bleu” car, sir.”
“No, we have no “Mozzarella” cars today.”
“Sorry, sir, we’re just out of the “Limburger” model,sir.”
“Yes sir, The “Brie”-us model is due in any day”
“No sir, we’re currently out of the “Roquefort” Automobile.”
“Yes sir, we certainly do have an “American” car; Oh, I’m sorry, it seems we’re out.”
“Oh yes, “Cheddar” is one of our more popular models, I’m afraid we have none right now”
” Yes, the “Swiss” model is quite smelly- it seems we’re presently out.”
“Sorry, the “Gouda” car isn’t a very good seller, but it seems we don’t have one right now.”
“What’s that, sir?…do we not have cheese cars? Of course we do sir, this is a cheese car lot , isn’t it???
The Swiss model would never happen, the holes make it an aerodynamic nightmare, though it does make a pleasant whistling sound as it’s moving.
“We have the cleanest lot in town.”
“Well it’s certainly uncluttered by cheese cars!”
All punning aside..
What *IS* “Non-Lactose Intolerant”?! I haven’t hear of this, and I may have it!
It’s horrible! You crave milk, cheese, yogurt, fresh butter and cream, and you don’t care about cholesterol or high blood pressure. You harden your heart to the warnings of your doctor.
I fixed it for you, Windy.
Dave, ferrets, no surprise to see you here. Ed, it’s been a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, well let’s just say it’s been a while. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Cheese Lumps!
For those who cannot afford a genuine cheese car, there are Kraft cheese cars.