YSaC, Vol. 1525: I find your lack of pants disturbing.
FOUND-CLOTHING ITEMS
Found a couple of clothing items about a week ago, email me with the description of lost items, day you lost them and the approximate area you believe you lost them in and I will return them to you!
Now, given that this is Craigslist, this post did have a general geographic area associated with it. Specifically, downtown in a city with a population of over three quarters of a million people.
So, yeah. If you lost some clothes, somewhere in this this big city, at some point, email this person, and you’ll get them back.
This feels like a scam, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out how it would work. Is this person just too lazy to drive to Goodwill? They figure they’ll pull a little reverse psychology, and get someone to think they’re scamming some clothes, when really they’re being scammed for clothing disposal services? I have no idea.
Thanks for the post, Elizabeth!
I think those are mine! I left some items made of materials in that place with the things on that one day.
Dear Sparky,
As per your request, I am writing to identify the clothing items I lost.
Description: clothing items
Day Lost: approximately one week ago
Area Lost: near you
It’s urgent I retrieve these items, and please do NOT put on the ring located in the pocket of that one item. Doing so may cause irreversible damage to the cosmos.
Or you might get a very nasty rash.
I will be waiting at the corner of Main and that other cross street at 3:00 p.m. sharp.
Don’t be late.
Threateningly,
Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Feifings and;
Apprentice Sorceress
I’d like to tell you the whole story of the lost clothes, but that’s Victoria’s Secret.
Found-Clothing Items is my chain of vintage-clothing boutiques where hipsters drop huge amounts of money to look as though they were just getting by.
Why does your boutique look like the dumpster behind the Goodwill store?
“Be sure to show up naked when you meet me, or you’ll have to carry all the clothes back home.”
Yes, I believe those clothing items were mine. They were a pair of pants and a shirt, both soaked in blood, and I “lost” them in a dumpster behind that strip club. You didn’t happen to find a knife as well, did you? I’ll be right over to claim them. Please come alone. Thanks!!!!!!……In other news……wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6 days ’til 2 1/2 months of freedom! (unless I get caught with some bloody clothes in my possession.)
Oh!, and C…..J, I’ll have to let you know later about band practice this weekend… I may be “indisposed” (as we in police custody like to say)
“Indisposed” as in a “guest” of the state/city/county? Been there, done that…just got rid of the ‘bracelet’. 🙂
Uh, oh yeah? I’m not sure I want to be in a band with someone of “questionable background.” We musicians are pretty particular about who we associate with, after all. Right, Liam and Noel?
I’ve been wondering what happened to the squirrel costume.
Well, now you all know. I suffer from vestiphobia. Every now and again, I fear my clothes, and I have to get naked immediately! Doesn’t matter where I am or what I am doing. Clothing will kill us in the end! No, I don’t want them back! You can’t make me put those on!
Ahem. Sorry, it takes some time for the medication to kick in.
> It’s strangling me! KILL IT!
> Sir, that’s your tie.
They must LOVE you at church and the airport, Windy.
Windy, it’s usually AFTER the medication (alcohol) kicks in that I’m inspired to shed my clothes. To paraphrase Flash and the Pan, “if the clothing doesn’t get ya, the drinking will.”
Nojazzy, I hope you believe that I take no undue pleasure out of the actions I am about to perform. Hold you card up right in front of your face, please. 8) Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, John and Yoko!
Thanks Windy! I needed that! I,too, wish John and Yoko good morning. (although,(whispering) you do know John’s dead, right? I mean, I don’t want to suprise you.) (back to normal voice) Well, have a nice weekend!!!
[practical aside]
Our dear Windrose lives with a quantity (f(x) where 1 < x < enough) of bird companions. There is a possibility that two of those could be named John & Yoko.
[/aside]