YSaC, Vol. CXXI
2008 November 17
****Nacho Cheese Fountain****
Okay, wait. Stop right there. Does this really sound like a good idea to anyone? Those three words should NOT be strung together (in any order) under any circumstances I can think of.
Let’s see how badly this is going to end …
****Nacho Cheese Fountain****
This is still in perfect working order. I bought it for a party a couple years ago, but it has just been collecting dust in my cupboard since. All you do is add cheese to the bottom saucer, plug it in, and wait about 10mins. Your guests will have flowing nacho cheese the whole night. YUMMY!
It’s even worse than I thought. That’s just … wow.
And the phrase “flowing nacho cheese” really didn’t need to enter my consciousness.
Mmm, clumpy, lumpy, burned cheese. WHERE CAN I GET ONE OF THESE?!?!
Clumpy, lumpy, burned, DUSTY cheese at that…I’m sure that these things are a bugger to clean.
On Craigslist, obviously!
I need this to go with my chocolate fountain!!! Or I bet I could just put CHEESE in my CHOCOLATE fountain! Although, then I couldn’t have a chocolate and cheese fountain party, it would have to be one or the other. But yes, “free flowing nacho cheese” just sounds so wrong on so many levels!!!
Even worse (as if there could be something worse), in the picture it looks as though they’ve used the Velveeta nacho processed cheese food that contains peppers and other vaguely vegetable-like substances, resulting in lumpy, uneven nacho cheese blobules that probably clog up the fountainworks.
I’m never going to eat ever again.
Personally I think I need to start collecting food-related fountains. Chocolate fountain. Nacho cheese fountain. Marshmallow Fluff fountain. Really, the possibilities are endless.
Because really, food ain’t no fun unless it’s flowing. Or something.
Yay. Dusty cheese.
I have to confess, I find flowing nacho cheese to be a pretty good idea in principle. The thing is that I can’t imagine how it would ever work out in practice. If it’s GOOD cheese it won’t flow enough. If it has good stuff added, it will probably not work as in the photo. Sure, if you get pure Velveeta you can probably get it to flow, or the stuff they use at snack bars that probably doesn’t even qualify as cheese at all, but who wants to eat that stuff?
That photo looks like the result of a problem in some workings to me, but not necessarily the fountain’s.
I had flowing nacho cheese at a party once, but it was after too many margaritas and you wouldn’t want to spread it on a tortilla.
The worst part is that it’s dusty.
And looks like vomit.
That’s so off in so many ways.
I think I enjoyed the comments even more than the ad itself!
@drmk:
Wow. Blobules. I can’t imagine eating any food in any more appealing unit than the blobule.
@Random Person:
I’m fairly certain Velveeta doesn’t qualify as cheese either. Isn’t it a PPCFP?
(The things they DIDN’T teach us in law school…)
This may just be the American in me, but I think any kind of fountain that accommodates food is a sound investment.
This insight’s just the way to kick life into this dbaete.
dude! I have one of these!!
uh…
I think that looks AWESOME.
Mind you, as a slightly drunk student, most things do right now…
Oh gods. I have one thing to say…: tubgirl. Urgh.
Oh, why, WHY did I have to google “tubgirl” … Damn you, Dray! Damn you to the ninth circle of Nacho Cheese Fountain Hell!
I did too, before I saw your response… gross…. but still hilarious.
At first, I thought this was called “Nacho Cheese Foundation”. Although I’m kinda disappointed that the ad wasn’t to promote a foundation that works to give nacho cheese a better name, this fountain WOULD be great for a Nacho Cheese Foundation benefit gala.
That’s not a cheese fountain, that’s a mixer for combining dogsnot and housepaint.
@Emland – you took the words (and the puke) right out of my mouth! But you said it beautifuller hehe ^_~
Hey, speakin’ of that stuff… why is it that whenever you puke, it takes like pizza and orange juice? Weird.
You’re not a student who lives on pizza and drinks vodka orange to excess by any chance, are you?
can i say that the chocolate fountain we had at prom this year look EXACTLY like that one..
except with chocolate, and not whatever he considers cheese which is flowing out of that now cursed machine.
Nacho Cheese fountain? Child’s play, I tell you! That’s got nothing on….
BBQ SAUCE FOUNTAIN!
http://www.chocofountain.com/BBQ_Sauce_Fountain.html
“Think of the possibilities!” the website says.
I know I can’t wait to show my boss this first thing Monday morning. This will *totally* liven up our company christmas party.
And, according to the website, the “possibilities” include the Ranch Dressing Fountain, the Egg Nog Fountain, and the Marinara Fountain. Mmm, a blood-red fountain of sauce: perfect for Halloween parties!
Can you imagine the PLOPPING sounds that thing would make??
I think it’d be more like blorping than plopping: moist and swampy borborygms.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese…
I’m sorry. I see no problem with this ad. Well spelled and punctuated, a minimal amount of capital letters, and THERE’S NACHOS! I love nachos. Everyone loves nachos. Just admit it; you like them, too.
Anyone else remember those animated Mac & Cheese commercials they used to play during Saturday morning and after-school cartoons?
“Cuz when the cheese starts flowing, [a food company owned by a Tobacco conglomerate] gets your noodle going!”
(I hope the fact that Kraft is owned by Phillip Morris isn’t lost on people – it needs to be common knowledge…)
oh that’s just nasty.
OMG. That is not a Nacho Cheese Fountain, it’s a Fondu Fountain. LMAO.
Uh… yeah… I can see why this is on your favorites list. These things are really pretty simple: the pump is a spiral auger inside the center column, and whatever fairly thick liquid (i.e. not water) is in the lowest bowl is pushed to the top. They also have a heater. They’re really built for chocolate – think of fruit, cookies etc. as dippers – but I’ve seen barbecue sauce once, and cheese once. Smooth cheese. Not this disgusting lumpy stuff that looks like vomit. It’s supposed to be an unusual fondue service, and they do attract attention and work well.
Normally, these units are pretty quiet until they get low on contents, when air gets into the auger and they start making some quiet pops. But this…THIS abominable glorpy ooze would make horrifying glorps and splorps as the chunks..flow… over the…the.. urrgh. Okay, I’ma go run to the restroom. I don’t feel too well.
Hmm, dusty vomit fountain?
um…is it weird that i want one of these? clearly not to serve nachos cheese from a fountain but stricktly to make all the guests at the party leave at the end of the night!
@ Kate K
I dont know about her, but I do. But, it never taste like pizza and orange drink to me. It always taste like bacon and cheetos
Who can say: “Mmmmm, BARF, yum!”?
Wait a minute. Nacho cheese rocks. Having it flow, melted, down a dusty contraption? Not good.
Still, overall- I’d buy it.