YSaC, Vol. 864: Pet peeved.
Time for another installment of “All Caps and Crazy”!
TONGUE SRI CHINBOY PSYCHIC SPA (SOUTH LAKE TAHOE PSYCHIC SPA GONDOLA)
PET PSYCHIC SOUTH LAKE TAHOE,
I CITIZEN OF SOUTH LAKE TAHOE HAVE BEEN PSYCHICALLY GROUP STALKED & TARGETED BY EVERY PET PSYCHIC IN SAN FRANCISCO FOR A ANUBIS SPHINX PYRAMID BURNING MAN.
THE FOLLOWING SOUTH LAKE TAHOE PSYCHIC TECHNOLOGIES ARE BEING EXPLOITED FOR PET PSYCHIC: I DO NOT WANT OR CONSENT.
PET PSYCHIC TONGUE SRI CHINBOY
PET PSYCHIC ALCHEMANIMAL MANUFACTURING @ RAINBOW DOORWAYS IN KINGS BEACH
PET PSYCHIC CRAIGSLIST
PET PSYCHIC SOCIAL SERVICE DONATION JEDIAGAINST MY CONSENT, PET PSYCHICS IN SOUTH LAKE TAHOE DO THE FOLLOWING SHAMAN WARFARE ON ONE SF CITIZEN WHO’S REAL LIFE IS SACRAFICED EVERYDAY WITH THESE PSYCHIC TECHNIQUES AMOUNTING TO NOTHING BUT REAL STUPIDITY FOR THE ONE SF CITIZEN WHO IS TRYING TO LIVE A CIVILIZED, EMPLOYED & PRODUCTIVE LIFE:
WITH THEIR DOGS ON LEASHES THEY “BULLTAME”, CHASE ME, FOLLOW ME, GET DIRECTLY IN MY PATH, SHOW ME THEIR DOGS BIRTHCHAKRAS, PUT THEIR DOGS DICKS, ASSES, POOP & PEE IN MY FIELD OF VIEW.
TO COUNTERACT THIS DOMESTIC SHAMAN “ANUBIS” OR “SPHINX” PSYCHIC WARFARE ALL I CAN DO IS MAKE X-FILE MOVIES AND PUBLISH THEM ON YOUTUBE.
PLEASE VIEW ON YOUTUBE:
SPHINX.PHYSICS CHANNELGET YOUR PET PSYCHIC TONGUE SRI CHINBOY OFF OF ME,
GET YOUR PET PSYCHIC ALCHEMANIMAL MANUFACTURING OFF OF ME & RAINBOW DOORWAYS.
GET YOUR PET PSYCHIC HARRASMENT OFF OF ME.
GET YOUR PET PSYCHIC SOCIAL SERVICE DONATION OFF OF ME.DO NOT BULLTAME ME WITH YOUR DOMESTIC PET PSYCHIC MAZES.
DO NOT SHOW ME YOUR PET PSYCHIC DOG.
STAY AWAY FROM MY PROXIMITY.
I’ve redacted out the link to his YouTube channel, but it’s easy to find (since he gives you the name of it), and is just as inexplicable. One definitely NSFW video contains nothing but clips of every time the word “fuck” is uttered in the movie District 9, which the first picture appears to come from. This is apparently how one counteracts the Pet Psychic Jedis.
I had no idea that pet psychics were so evil. Perhaps more importantly, I had no idea that pet psychics were in charge of putting boots on your car. I mean, I guess that makes sense: having your car booted is evil, so therefore someone evil must boot cars, and pet psychics are evil … so therefore pet psychics boot cars. Q.E.D., bitch.
Thanks for the crazy, Courtney!
“AMOUNTING TO NOTHING BUT REAL STUPIDITY”
well said, well said.
And really, does he think he can wage a war on stupidity, even if it is just in the SF area?
Nope, he can just post Xfiles videos to YouTube. I commend you my good sir…fighting the insane fight.
I want to believe!
We’ve been trying to wage the war against stupidity for two years, and this guy is still around…
So does this mean we get to man our battle stations and wage war against pet psychic Sparky?
Because you know how I love it when we man battle stations.
How dare you laugh? Pet Psychics are everywhere!
Sniffing at crotches, crawling all over you, and leaving their business all over the place. I tell you, it’s hard to get any privacy any more.
Can’t even hide in the bathroom anymore without a pet psychic scratching at the door, yowling to get in, just to see what you are doing. Leave a person in peace. Go eat your kibble or chase the dustbunnies under the couch. You cannot TAME ME!
Must obey…HYPNODOG.
You dropped these [matt] [/matt] LL.
Naw.. it’s a PSA.
Don’t answer the door.
But it could be the Avon lady!
Or the Fuller Brush Man!
Or the HamCan.
Well in that case, answering the door is fine, but don’t rub the puppy’s tummy.
It’s Jehovah’s Witnesses. They just want to give you a copy of The Watchtower.
But, just in case, don’t rub their tummies.
It’s the Shinola salesman, but you wouldn’t know would you?
It’s the Land Shark!
LL, these pet psychics must not be very good if they have to scratch on the bathroom door and come in to see what you are doing. At minimum, they shouldn’t even have to use psychic powers to figure out what you are doing … I don’t think I have any psychic powers and still I know what (approximately – I prefer not to be aware of details) goes on when someone goes in there and shuts the door!
It’s all part of their Master Plan to rule the world.
Sshh…one of them just came into the room.
*hastily shuts off computer*
My first question, well after why Sparky couldn’t spell sacrifice, was are these pets who are pyschic or pyschic who specialize in pets? Then I realised it does not matter since Sparky is the pysch(ot)ic one.
Well, that explains X-files: I Want To Believe.
“ALCHEMANIMAL”: Manimal’s drinking problem.
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:bsB5PEl8RhIZkM:http://i44.tinypic.com/2ni2rt2.jpg&t=1
How DARE you show him your dogs birthchakras!!!! I mean really, without even a “how de do?” or anything?! The nerve of some people!
My dogs sniff each other’s birth chakras all the time.
You let your dog shit in my yard, I’m calling the cops…it’s psychic assault, after all.
I’ll see your pet psychic tongue sri chinboy and raise you a chi-wa-wa with telekinetic abilities.
And I’ll throw in….a Jedi Yorkie! Take that!!!
**makes mysterious paw motion
Arf! Arf! Arf!
Ratwoman: These aren’t the droids we’re looking for. Move along.
I woke up, got a cup of coffee, and read this ad. I decided a full stomach might help me understand, so I made breakfast. That didn’t work so I brewed another pot of coffee. I read the ad to my smartest dog. When I got to the words “poop and pee” she started excitedly thumping her tail on the floor. I continued on for a few more sentences before she got up and ran to the door. I let her out and she ran off to pee.
I don’t know what it means, but clearly this is the work of a professional.
Christina, I have had no caffeine or food, and when I read your comment … I laughed uncontrollably. I cannot give this enough adores.
Ditto Above.
Truck load of doors en route
psychoticallypsychiclyI think maybe you just read dog porn to her.
I’ll have to make sure I don’t read this in the presence of any canines now. Might be a bond I’m not ready for.
My poor mutts are all sprinkled, so I don’t what their idea of doggie porn is, but it probably involves chasing squirrels and chewing sticks. Though my youngest girl is constantly humping the only boy dog, she may just be trying to exert her psychic dominance over him.
christina, if I did not know you do not have children, the phrase “my youngest girl is constantly humping the only boy dog, she may just be trying to exert her psychic dominance over him” would make me wonder about your parenting techniques …
I assure you, Lola, if I had kids, that phrase would likely be just as normal. My husband and I have discussed the endless possibilities for gross/awkward situations that will likely arise if we have children and maintain a multiple pet household.
I might wonder, but I wouldn’t judge. I know some excellent parents whose children have done some deeply embarrassing things, simply by their virtue of a child being a child.
Means nothing if she didn’t put her leavings in your line of vision.
That says something.
I’m always telling this to my dates, even the ones not named (?) Sri Chinboy.
Back at you, Sparky!
I know I’m going to yell this at some point soon. And get the
“This is joke from the internet I’m not going to understand, even if you try to explain it to me, isn’t it?” look.
Well, sounds like a reason to keep a dog mask in one’s purse <G>
I’m still coping with “sri chinboy” being some sort of Sino-Ceylonese racial epithet–which is doubly confusing as it is my understanding that’s an amalgam right up there with oil and water, or soda and vinegar . . .
‘
Not so much, Sparky. You’re being physicallygroup stalked by the nice boys in the white jackets for an asshat Sparky paranoid raving man. The differences are subtle, but important.
Well, building a pyramid of wicker is rather up there with building castles in swamps.
The sacrificial nature of a “burning man,” I was taught, was why it is man-shaped. Shaping it as a sphinx with a jackal’s head sounds like one is dicing with several entire theologies (and a really bad Nick Cage movie).
That latter could be the clue, though. Sparkie has upset the staff at the rental video store, and they are dubbing that Nick Cage atrocity over random SG-1 epeisodes. and putting them in Spark’s chosen Pet Psychic tape boxes . . .
Sri means radiant. I’m pretty sure radiant chin boy is Jay Leno. I’d tell him to stay away from me too.
I just figured Sri Chinboy was Sri Chinmoy’s cousin, but Jay Leno is a good answer, too.
Cool!! – I’ve got ads for “California Psychics” up in the top right. Says I can ask one free question.
Let’s see:
WHY ARE THERE DOORWAYS IN KINGS BEACH?
HOW DO I APPLY FOR PET PSYCHIC SOCIAL SERVICE DONATION?
WHO IS THE ONE SF CITIZEN WHO IS TRYING TO LIVE A CIVILIZED, EMPLOYED & PRODUCTIVE LIFE?
WHY ARE THE SCRUBBING BUBBLES WATCHING TANKERBELL?
HOW WILL I EVER DECIDE WHICH QUESTION TO ASK?
Yeah, who is that ONE SF resident? Cause I’ve met some people from SF and belieeeeve you me….”civilized” is not how I’d describe them. “Employed” also never seems to fit, unless you consider, “Traveling freelance
poet/philosopher/performance artist/untrained minstrel/coffee drinker/mooch” as a career path.
You’re confusing SF residents with SF college kids who live with their parents out in San Mateo or Richmond. Real estate prices in SF rival NYC, I couldn’t afford them when I was a full time student with two jobs. That’s why I lived in Oakland.
Well, Used to think I was middling-good at geography (having learned such things using stone knives and bearskins).
I’m trying to juxtapose “SF” and “south Lake Tahoe” (no, I’ll not shout, unlike Sparky, I have respect for the early hour).
If *pet psychic*Sparky*pet psychic* means San Fransico, isn’t that like the width of the State west of Lake Tahoe?
If *pet psychic*Sparky*pet psychic* means San Fernando, isn’t that even further away?
Hmm, there’s a San Felipe on the east coast of Italy, and a Santo Fillipe of the coast of Chile. Want to remember that there is a Sandalfoote in Arizona, which would be less transcontinental–not that the esp waves care for trifles like distance.
Perhaps *pet psychic*Sparky*pet psychic* means Santa Fe–which poses further dilemna, there’s probably 11-12 states with at least one “Santa Fe” in them. (Santa Fe, NM, not being that close to SLT, either, there, *pet psychic*Sparky*pet psychic*.)
Ok, long shot, there’s a subdivision in the SLT area called “santa fe” and *pet psychic*Sparky*pet psychic* has upset their HOA, who are a group of Indo-Asian Chawaa who put a big tent over *pet psychic*Sparky’s*pet psychic* tenement and pumped “chemtrails” into it all those times.
(Ok, and is is bad that I think Jeremy Sisto would be excellently cast as *pet psychic*Sparky*pet psychic*?)
I have that same ad, Grampdaddy. You ask about the doorways in Kings Beach, I’ll ask about the scrubbing bubbles.
Perhaps we can confuse them and escape. You ask about scrubbing the Kings doors, and I’ll ask about Bubbles at the Beach. I think I knew Bubbles back in High School – she ‘dated’ the football team, and the basketball team, and the swim team…… concurrently.
Ace Ventura lives!
“Let me Ass-hat you a few questions.”
“DO NOT BULLTAME ME.”
Note to self: Work this phrase into conversations as often as possible.
And make sure you act as if it’s a very common phrase.
Do not bulltame me, Meredith.
Grampdaddy is in the box! I promise to show up on time (within 24 hours) to punch you, good sir. 8) I won’t try to bulltame you.
Actually, I was in the Can, with my bathroom thing. I look forward to seeing you this evening, O Windy One! I shall be prepared with my YSaC membership and Snark Lounge admission card.
*Goes off to find stapler, in order to staple card to forehead so it won’t get misplaced.*
I don’t think HamCan will appreciate that… He doesn’t seem to publicly swing that way.
Publicly being the operative word.
Uh, thanks EB – now I’ll have nightmares about ham. Of course, Hammy will have nightmares about the size of the Bathroom Thing, so that might be a fair trade-off.
Smedley, I do appreciate your clarification re: public v. private. I was going to say that, but you were well ahead of me.
Gramp, stay out of my can!
EB, Swinging might be fun*winkwink*
Swinging? Like on a SWINGFORTSLIDE?
Is that the one with the optional giant child-eating raven feature?
Coming in January from Citizen Insane Movies: SHAMAN WARFARE! See the beautiful Tongue Sri and the handsome Chinboy battle Anubus and the Sphinx for supreme power over San Francisco. Hear stimulating dialog such as:
Sri: Want to see my birthchakra?
Chinboy: No time! haieeeeee! (kick, turn, kick, punch) Oh, sorry!
The whole family will love this blockbuster! One free question from a pet pychic with every ticket stub.
“Tongue Sri” = Shining Tongue
That, in itself, should guarantee a visit to the Golden Lotus. Well done, Windy.
Wait, “sri tongue” would be “shining tongue”; so “tongue sri” is “tongue shining”–which suggests a form of, ah, “apple polishing” or quid pro quo for honors and feteing, yes?
(Ok, “tongue” is clearly one of those words which looks misspelt.)
Sounds more like a SyFy original to me
OT, Wheel boot story:
Years ago I worked construction and I was doing a job downtown, I parked the company truck where it needed to be to do the job (Had a permit to be there) For some reason the police didn’t bother looking and the parking permit that was in in windshield and they stuck a boot on the truck…
Needless to say I was not happy, but it’s not really wise to stick a boot on a truck that’s carrying a generator and a plasma cutter, bye bye boot 😉
Shoot, I learned how to cope with that, a long time ago (and no pet psychosis needed).
You snag (by hook or crook) a quantity of traffic cones, and keep them in the work vehicles. When it is time to park, pull up over the curb (even right up on the sidewalk) and set a traffic cone behind the vehicle.
For some reason (pet psychic aura perhaps) this cloaks the vehicle in “oh, supposed to be there” invisibility.
This works perfectly fine as long as drunk people don’t come along.
[liquor behavior corey] Based on my unscientific observation and anecdotal exchanges, if a group of drunk people (particularly if college-age) encounter even one traffic cone, it seems as if it is impossible for them to continue on without messing with the cone in any way, and the likelihood that someone will wear it on their head like a witch’s hat seems very high as well. [/liquor behavior corey]
Quite true.
But, I’ve never had to park a work truck outside a package store in a work-related sort of way.
Oh, and if you swap cones with other cone-users, it can help the effect, Con-Ed, one of the Bells, those are good; so are DoD labeled ones. But, best of all are the CDC “Contamination” cones . . .
I think my favorite is that his youtube channels is about physics….. Gets me every time :-p
Opps – I think I went to the wrong site. We were watching Ghost Whisper last nigh — that probably explains it. Sparkey where are you????
Someday we’ll find it
the rainbow doorway
the pet psychics, the chinboy,
in kings beach
What I fail to comprehend is how crazies like this manage to successfully manage to add links or pictures to their posts while the poor schlub who just wants to sell their octagon table cannot navigate the instructions well enough to do so.
Well, I suspect that far too many “schlubs” fail from using self-referencing links. On your own desktop, sure, you can drag-n-drop images from your own computer, and they insert just fine.
They show up in your email, too. Not so much when you send them to Aunt Edna, or CL, or X-Files, or south Lake Tahoe.
When you ask the sender about the content in the “red ‘x’ boxes”, they look at their own circular-referenced source, and see the content. Whereupon they determine you are the *pet psychic*Sparky*pet psychic*.
After a while, it is much simpler to just nod and make non-committal noises when the unseen occular agonies are brought up in conversation later.
EEEEEEKK!
I googled “SOUTH LAKE TAHOE PSYCHIC SPA GONDOLA” (trying to decide if a boat, a rail car, or alpine lift was meant).
Imagine my surprise when I find there is A South Lake Tahoe Psychic Spa, and it is located near the terminus for the alpine gondola lift.
Sri Chinmoy (Chinmoy Kumar Ghose) was born in East Bengal (now part of Bangladesh) and became a spiritual advisor and guru who taught of the oneness of all faith. He also passed 11 october 2007 (not that has caused any logical problems for Sparkies before<sigh>).
That is sort of scary, but shows that, although Sparky’s train of thought is wildly out of control, he does at least maintain some slight connection to a few touchstones of reality. What I want to know is, since Sri Chinmoy is a real spiritual guru, what’s with Sparky’s obsession with his tongue? Given that he has passed on, I am REALLY hoping at this point that he chose cremation, otherwise I am squickily curious whether this Sparky has a shovel.
Guru tongue is a delicacy at some Tahoe eateries. I hear it’s best served after being aged 3 years in the ground.
A thousand adores to Capn for extricating the one correct phrase in the entire post of which to Google and help decipher it all.
I looked at it and suddenly all I heard in my head were the adults from the Charlie Brown cartoons.
One of his students was Carlos Santana, so, all I’ve had are guitar power-riffs in my head, with a kicking brass rhythm section–not quite Peanuts’ Adult-speak . . . <sigh>
Sri Chinmoy is dead and Sparky is still worried about being attacked by his tongue?
You can’t make this sh*t up. I love it.
Good time for a Sri Chinmoy poem:
When the sun appears in the East,
I make friends with my poetry.
I see a golden disc
Right above the blue sea.
A red hibiscus is smiling at me,
Is there anybody on earth, O Sun,
Who does not long for your smile?
No, nobody.
Everybody wants your smile.
I too want you smile
And something more:
I want to bow to you
With my heart’s adoration.
And a pony. I also want a pony, O sun.
Frighteningly, Rainbow Doorways in Kings Beach is also a real place.
Helpfully located at Rainbowdoorways.com. (I am not making this up.) I think maybe Sparkois has been indulging in a little too many of the sacred herbs. Or not enough.
The light comes across online? Does that work even if you don’t have their crystals and/or sacred herbs?
I’m not interested unless it’s a double rainbow doorway.
I know this is off topic, but I know this bunch will understand. When everyone was talking the other day about their respective families drinking the extreme left/right kool-aid, I smirked and said to myself, “Poor suckers.”
Oops.
That is all.
Welcome to the club, Steve-O. Flask? I promise it only contains lovely refreshing beverages, not kool-aid.
Ugh. When did Hatemongering and Paranoia become political parties? Some of the smartest people I have ever met in my life have turned into some of the most boorish jackasses.
Steve, you’ve put your finger on what bothers me. I don’t mind people disagreeing with me, that’s human nature, and we have a right to it in this country. The increasing inability to have a civil exchange about our disagreements is really distressing.
Which is why I never engage in political debate with most of the people I know, but I would have no issue with a discussion here, even knowing that several folks, including you, differ from me. Not that I want to debate the issues right now, we have far more pressing matters, like psychic pets trying to bulltame us.
[Cue stirring musical score and Bill Pullman’s hilariously campy yet still fun speech from Independence Day]
Exactly! I am very conservative, politically, morally, and so forth. “A Country Boy Can Survive” is pretty much just a reading of my resume, but I can still have an intelligent discourse with someone I completely disagree with. What happened to a free exchange of ideas? Wasn’t America founded on the complete freedom to believe whatever the hell (or Hell, for you Calvinists) you want without persecution? Man, I haven’t been this riled in a long time. Ok, I think I’m done. Time to conjure something funny while I write checks to each of you for the therapy.
Hey, I’m too broke to tease with an offer of checks (that last incident with Václav Havel was really embarassing, especially the gluing to the big hunk of cardboard . . . )
Side Note: Was strinking up xmas lights this evening, and a fellow came over and complemented me on my ladderwork. He was visiting family across the street. Learn from the neighbors he’s an Assistant Chief in charge of training in (well we’ll leave the texas city out of this). So, A, I’m glad he did not see some of my earlier ladder antics, and B, upset that he did not think I was serious about helping teach <grumblegrumblegrumble>
Strinking up christmas lights? Is that what you call it when you combine decking the halls with enjoying a nice batch of eggnog?
Strinking up Christmas lights is exactly how we did it this year. I wanted to put lights on the tinker-tree, but I nearly broke it when I tried. I opted to add some new decorations instead, including a dreidel as we were lacking in the Hanukkah department.
Well done, Good Sir. A compliment of the highest order, indeed. Were my Training Chief to see my ladderwork off-duty at my other job, he might fire me in effigy. I have been known to ratchet tie an extension ladder to a plank supported by two other extension ladders. Sic itur ad astra, so to speak.
I was taught long ago (even before Brayton) to treat all ladders like female Soviat arms negotiators, trust but verify. Something about plant the ladder. Check the plating, the angle, where it bears; then always test from the first step. I’ve spent too much time working alone with, and from, a ladder.
So, it was probably better that I was not seen going up a rung to get more arm-reach to slide a shingle clip on the light string in. Bad habit, counting on known better ladder placement, just the sort of thing Murphy likes to tell the pet psychics . . .
ladders have tried to kill be me before, but I’ve killed more of them than they have of me, so, I’m ahead overall.
Steve, I tend to be on the opposite side of the political spectrum. (Yeah, I’ve been described with the “L” word). But I really agree with you on the failure to understand the nature of political and social discourse. At 60, I’ve watched the swing from conservative to liberal and back again a number of times, but have never been so discouraged as I am now. I don’t think that any of the political parties represent the “will of the people”, nor do I think the system will work without some serious changes. Corporations and Wall Street have managed to obtain the best government money can buy and you and I are going to pay for it. I’d like to think that voting makes a difference, but when the candidates for the parties are all looking to protect themselves and they’re own pockets, electing any of them may just make the problem worse.
Hope for the future – always present. Possible solutions – I have none.
*Oh, here’s the Matt tags I dropped – feel free to place them where necessary.
My only solution are lyrics.
“Come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
and try to love one another right now”
Why is it, that, whenever that song it trotted out, I’m either alone (not even a quiet t-shirt for company), or surrounded by ugly-sweat people of far-too flexible “gender identity”?
So this is what happens when the evil psychic hummingbirds and the hypnodogs unite?
What happens when the dyslexic hummingbirds and hypno-dogs untie?
We’ll all believe in Dog.
Humming puppies, of course.
I wish I were snarkier. I have been chuckling and enjoying everyone’s comments, and handing out doors. But I am sooooooooo(ooo) tired. Is it bad that I almost hope to be needing a mobility scooter soon? Not what I really want, but walking can be painful and leave me so worn out. That’s bad. Okay, you don’t have to answer that. I want to keep walking. 8)
Yikes Windrose! I do hope you feel better, scooter or no scooter. But if you do get a scooter, be the bad ass on a scooter that cuts off the the obnoxious kids wearing heelies. 🙂
*removes scrubbing bubbles, bathroom things, and zom– you-know-whats from the box*
Grampdaddy, I hope you have enjoyed your day in there. Punchity Punch Punch!
Hey, no fair hiding behind a first grader! 8)
G’Night, Truckee!
Somebody needs to __ their __ drugs. (option #1 – increase, prescribed; option #2 – decrease, recreational)
Thank God chinboy isn’t in the Urban Dictionary. I was almost afraid to look.