YSaC, Vol. 786: I’ll never look at the Lionel Richie cheese head the same way again.

2010 September 11

Yeah, I’m just going to jump right over that decency line right off the bat again.

the most amazing shirt! – $250


This is the best shirt in the world! I spent from august of 2008 until the 24th of May 2010 beating off into this t-shirt without washing it. I am saving this for you! If you want it but think that 250 smackers is too much then email me and we might be able to work something out. I think it’s a deal. Do you realize how many babies could have been made with this t shirt. Who know, they still might be able to be made. 500 bucks is a deal!
It might look like some form of cheese dip or something but I assure you that this is pure man seed. When something like this becomes vintage like this then it starts showing it’s age.

From a smoke free environment.

[Note from drmk: there were about six other pictures of the shirt included in the post. I’ll spare you those.]

If you’re tired of collecting vintage cereals, consider everything that collecting vintage spunk can offer you! And it’s yours for the low, low price of $250 … or $500. But at least it comes from a smoke-free environment, because you know — second-hand smoke is icky.

Thanks, yankeebird!

212 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 September 11
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Happy Birthday Windrose!!

    Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday!

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 September 11
      Windrose permalink

      Aw, thanks, Grampdaddy! That’s so sweet! It makes my eyeballs twitch. 8)

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 September 11

        Yes, Happy Birthday!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11
          Windrose permalink

          Thank you, Laurel! 8) Love the Birthday Badger.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 11
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Are you sure the original post isn’t what made your eyeballs twitch? But also, happy birthday 🙂

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 September 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        I was gonna get you a tee shirt, but…..

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        It makes my eyeballs twitch.

        And what’s really cool about it is that, if you scroll clear to the top, then scroll quickly to the bottom of the comment, you can create a seizure!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Not My Name permalink

          Ow ow ow my eyes hurt now…..

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          sarajean80 permalink

          All I see is a happy little tree.

          On fire.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11

      Hippo birdie two ewe’s!

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 11

      Happy Birthday Becky and Tim Windrose! I went all “green” and got these wedding invitations birthday cards from Craigslist.
      The cake should be here soon. I ordered it from Cake Wrecks. We were going to bust out Not.a.Lionel, but decided that would be in poor taste.
      🙂

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 September 11

        The cake just arrived, but it’s not what I ordered:
        “Harpy Bathdy Wine Rows (put a picture of birds on it)”
        Ah well, cake for everyone!

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 September 11
          Meredith permalink

          At least they didn’t put actual birds on it.

          pffft pffft…I think I just got a bite with feather in it.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Giant crow playset dittos of the above.
          Happy Birthday WR!
          (antthing to not think of today’s topic)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 12
          Windrose permalink

          Hey, that’s nice! My real BD cake had little sugar edible baseballs on them. I think it was the last cake they had. LOL

          I had such a fun day! Thanks to everyone who kept the home fires burning.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11

      Happy Birthday!

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11

      Indeed – a very happy birthday to you!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11
      MandaB permalink

      Happiest of happy birthdays to you, Windrose!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11
      kelli permalink

      Happy bird birthday Windy!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11

      Happy BirdDay Windy

      *Lifts glass*

      Chirps to you.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11
      Whirlwitch permalink

      Happy Birthday, Windrose! Many happy reruns!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11

      Happy Birthday to the best-looking bird in the joint!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11

      ¡Feliz cumpleaños, Windrose!

      Adores: 1
  2. 2010 September 11
    Grampdaddy permalink

    I’m SO glad it’s from a smoke-free environment – I’d hate to have it smell like old smoke.

    I’m going to go bleach my computer, office, entire neighborhood, then soak in the boiling bleach jacuzzi….

    Adores: 16
  3. 2010 September 11
    nonsensicalcat permalink

    Okay, Sparky. Before I go to the brain bleach jacuzzi, I’m just going to say…

    If no one was willing to… personally accept your man seed… resulting in its placement on a t-shirt… why would anyone want your crusty man seed on the t-shirt?

    How about you throw away the shirt and we’ll take up a collection that we’ll invest in some therapy for you?

    Adores: 7
  4. 2010 September 11
    Grampdaddy permalink

    This is a tesTe-shirt. How obvious…

    Adores: 14
  5. 2010 September 11

    Happy Birthday, Windrose! And many more!

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 11
      Windrose permalink

      Thanks, Smedley! 8)

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11
      CapnMac permalink

      What Smedley said *not thining of the shirt; not thinking of the shirt*

      Adores: 1
  6. 2010 September 11

    Bill Clinton has his own clothing line?

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 September 11
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Nah, he’s just using someone elses, taking out their stains, and putting in his own.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 September 11
        Meredith permalink

        BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA. So disgusting and so funny.

        Mmmmm, gingerbread coffee out my nose…smells good.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 11

        Jeeze, everyone knows you can’t wear spew after labor day.

        Adores: 11
        • 2010 September 11

          Is it just me, or is there a bad pun hidden somewhere deep in Hammy’s post?

          On second thought, maybe I should reword my inquiry.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Hammy, Spunky-the-Poster said the 24th of May, so I think you meant Memorial Day, not Labor Day.

          No problem, glad to help…

          Adores: 1
  7. 2010 September 11
    Grampdaddy permalink

    You know what is really sad? – the post is written properly. A couple of minor errors, but not the usual drivel (almost typed ‘dribble’) that shows up on CL.

    This leads to a few conclusions:
    1) Spunky is not a drooling idiot.
    2) He is a very good typist, or has not gone blind in spite of what mom told him would happen if he didn’t stop.
    3) He has been using mom’s Nair on his palms.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 September 11
      CapnMac permalink

      Yet missed enough Biology (and watched too much CSI) to not understand the lifespan of, ah, DNA material after 49 months.

      Sparklers! Cake! Brithdays!

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 11
        Meredith permalink

        Oops, I think we broke the Capn.

        Adores: 8
  8. 2010 September 11

    Yeah, a smoke-free environment. That’s important, because it makes you realise how healthy all those non-existent babies would have been, if they’d been real. Or something.

    Burn it. Burn it now.

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 September 11
      Meredith permalink

      Burn it in something safe, because I have a feeling that thing will go up like…hmmm…I think it’s way too soon for that joke, especially if anyone lives in the Gulf coast region.

      It will go up like a 3 month old Christmas tree with no water!!! Yeah, that’s it!!!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 11

        You could have gone with “like a cardboard cut out of Michael Jackson doused in vintage Crisco.” Never too soon for a good flaming MJ joke.

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 11
        CapnMac permalink

        Except that the shirt will burn more like it had been doused in starch and floured. It would need either an accelerant, or exceptionally high temperatures (a portland cement kiln, about 1400ºF would suffice).

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Whoops, above needed [incineration corey] tags.

          (I think the editor is squicked out)

          BirthdaysBirthdaysBirthdaysBirthdays

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 12
          Sosij permalink

          Okay, someone knows a little too much about semen combustion.

          Adores: 1
  9. 2010 September 11
    Meredith permalink

    Christmas shopping: Done.

    Adores: 25
    • 2010 September 11
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Ooh, Meredith – Soooooooo wrong! Made me laugh, but so very wrong…..

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 11
      kelli permalink

      So glad I’m not on Meredith’s Christmas list.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 September 11

      There are some things money can’t buy. For a t-shirt stained with years’ worth of jizz, there’s Mastercard.

      Adores: 8
  10. 2010 September 11
    Grampdaddy permalink

    For discussion: Should this posting be placed in the “Sticky Topics” section of the fora?

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 September 11
      Meredith permalink

      Not anymore it’s not…more crusty than sticky.

      Oh, hey, didn’t there used to be a line around here somewhere??? I distinctly remember something about a line.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        The line is on an extended vacation, to a galaxy far, far away.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11

          Just on vacation then? That’s good–I’d heard a rumor that the line had been involved in an…accident.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11

          Ever since he joined the Teamsters, Line gets weekends and holidays off. I think his benefits kicked in last weekend.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11

          *is in the Teamsters*
          *gets weekends and holidays off*
          *is currently on a week’s paid vacation*
          *giggles*

          Seriously, my actual job might be crummy and not well-paying but the benefits are FANTASTIC.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 11

          I was a Teamster from the age of 14 to 16, when I worked at a grocery store. At the time it was awesome because I got a raise every six months. When I quit I was making $4.60 an hour…man that was a loooong time ago.

          Adores: 4
  11. 2010 September 11
    Meredith permalink

    Oh, and where’s Taco? This is definitely a T-Shit. No doubt about it.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 11
      TacoMagic permalink

      Actually, I think a T-Shit would be a step up from this one.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 11
        Meredith permalink

        Maybe he’ll throw that in for just shitting and handling.

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 September 11

        If not a step up, at least a step forward (by a few inches).

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11

      I was going to reply that he doesn’t usually show up on weekends, but…well, there he is.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 September 11
        TacoMagic permalink

        I don’t usually, but this toppic just pulled at me.

        Uh, maybe I should reword that.

        You can’t beat a topic like this.

        Uh… gotta go.

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 September 11
          EclecticBlue permalink

          This topic is definitely a hard on to resist 😉

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11

          EB, did you take one of Bianci’s little blue pills?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11

          Toppic? With 2 p’s?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11

          I liked that in the same comment, it’s spelled two different ways. 😉

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Yeah, what’s up with spewing my line? Did you think I wasn’t going to come today?

          What?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11
          Whirlwitch permalink

          Oh, come on, Taco. That’s very premature of you. It’s not like you to get choked already. Did something rub you the wrong way?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 11

          Whoops, sorry I jacked the spelling of your name, Bianchi. I feel like such a wanker.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          That’s ok, C. Don’t be hard on yourself.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 12
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Teehee, sorry Bianchi, I couldn’t resist 🙂

          Adores: 0
  12. 2010 September 11

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINDROSE!!

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 September 11
      SilvaNoir permalink

      Happy B-Day Birdy!

      ( I can’t comment on the post itself today, too gross )

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 September 11
        Meredith permalink

        You mean you don’t want to put your hands to work crafting some lovely piece of art based on today’s post? I’m a bit surprised.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11

          “…put your hands to work…”
          I see what you did there!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Meredith permalink

          That might be the only unintentional slip here today.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Repeats:
          “She wrote ‘slip’ there is no “d’ in ‘slip’.”
          “She wrote ‘slip’ there is no “d’ in ‘slip’.”
          “She wrote ‘slip’ there is no “d’ in ‘slip’.”
          “She wrote ‘slip’ there is no “d’ in ‘slip’.”
          “She wrote ‘slip’ there is no “d’ in ‘slip’.”
          “She wrote ‘slip’ there is no “d’ in ‘slip’.”

          *birthdaybirthdaybirthdaybirthdaybirthdaybirthday*

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 11
      Windrose permalink

      Thank you, CJ and Silva! I’ll be out at a park all day and most of the evening, so I won’t be here to snark on this. But I will take all your warm wishes with me.

      Adores: 1
  13. 2010 September 11
    Meredith permalink

    HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

    Bees be upon you on this blessed day.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 September 11
      Windrose permalink

      Thanks, Meredith! I have a pretty good chance of getting bees on me today!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 11
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Happy birthday! I knew September 11 was important for some reason, but I could remember why…

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11

          Windrose’s birthday! Never forget!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 12
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Oh right. The Alamo!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Alamo, 6 March
          USS Maine, 15 February
          Sack of DC, 24 August
          Battle of Savo Island, 3 June
          Fall of Wake island, 23 December

          Adores: 0
  14. 2010 September 11
    Meredith permalink

    You know, I never noticed the big letters to my right that say:

    “FIND THE SUCKING!”

    I’m surprised we haven’t had ads for Adult Friend Finder on here more often.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 September 11

      Clearly Spunky couldn’t find the sucking.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 11

        *Close your eyes for this comment*

        Maybe he’s really flexible and spit…*

        *Nevermind*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11

          That reminds me of Clerks. “When they found him, his balls were resting on his chin.”

          Adores: 5
  15. 2010 September 11
    Limelolly permalink

    I have an ad for ‘Bad Idea T-Shirts’, and yes, I agree with the ad.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 September 11
      TacoMagic permalink

      You know I bet this is like most shirts you’d buy from Mr. Winkey.

      No wonder he looks so relaxed and mellow when he winks at you.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 11

        Considering that Mr. Winkey is a teen aged boy…
        Nope, I’m not finishing that thought.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Meredith permalink

          AAAARRRGH, AAARRRGH….you said “teenage boy” and I immediately thought of Astro. And now….AAAAAAAAAAHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGG. Grrrrrooossss

          What’s that, frontal lobe? Somebody is knocking on you? Who is it?….Chris….Hanson…like, one of the Hanson Brothers is in my brain? Wow.

          EDIT EDIT EDIT: That sounded even worse typed out than what I was thinking. I was thinking of Astro SELLING the shirt…not…….ugh….

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11

          Psst! Meredith, you might want to go check the “sock puppet” thread in the forums.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11

          I had a friend (a guy) in highschool who had a crush on one of the Hanson(Hansen?) brothers… thinking he was a girl. We tried to tell him otherwise but he thought we were teasing him. He eventually wised up (after weeks of being delusional). That poor, poor boy… I don’t think I’ll ever forget the horrified look on his face.

          At least those girly-boys have grown up and cut their hair… but you still couldn’t pay me to listen to their music.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Astrognash permalink

          …not quite how I planned to start my compuday…

          Adores: 13
  16. 2010 September 11
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Let’s do a little Saturday morning math, shall we?

    Sparky here claims that this shirt was in use for a 22-month period. Let’s assume a cosmopolitan individual such as he would be enjoying his quiet shirt time about 25 times per month. So we’re talking about 550 events absorbed by the shirt.

    The average male ejaculatory event produces 3.5 ml. This means that the shirt in question has absorbed on the order of 1,925 ml of man-seed. In essence, it’s wiped up a 2-liter soda bottle full of spoo.

    I’m wondering how he’s even going to fold it for shipping.

    Adores: 30
    • 2010 September 11
      Meredith permalink

      Most. Disgusting. Math. Ever.

      Adores: 17
    • 2010 September 11

      “Quiet shirt time” is my new euphemism for EVERYTHING.

      Adores: 24
    • 2010 September 11
      EclecticBlue permalink

      *gag*

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 11
      TacoMagic permalink

      Man, I wouldn’t wanna slam that Dew.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 September 11
      Not My Name permalink

      I REALLY don’t want to know where you got the information for the fifth sentence I.F.*

      *I’m too lazy to type your whole name, please don’t get mad and kill me….or buy me that shirt….actually, I’d rather you just got mad and killed me than buy that shirt for me.**

      **Sorry about the rambling.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 September 11

        NMN, we all abbreviate names. As long as you don’t call me Bridge,* no one will kill you.

        *You can, however, call me B.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11

          Okay, Bridgey-B-Zizzle.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 12
          Not My Name permalink

          As far as we know, Astro is still alive.* As far as we know…..

          *Read christina’s wrap-up of today.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 12
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Well, it was either months of experimentation, complete with randomized controlled trials and double-blind review*, performed in the strictest of clinical laboratory contexts, or I went to Wikipedia.

        *Double Blind Revue is the name of my Blind Melon-Manfredd Mann tribute mashup band.

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 11
      sarajean80 permalink

      You just disproved my theory that math can make everything better. It can, in fact, make it much, much worse.

      Much, much much worse.

      I’ll be over in the corner weeping quietly to myself.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Flask here, self-filling flask here. Who wants a nice cold flask?

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11

      I think Sparky is a quart low…

      Adores: 1
  17. 2010 September 11
    Windrose permalink

    I hope he’s not a barista, otherwise he might be serving up some venti fappachinos.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 11
      EclecticBlue permalink

      It’s a [tr|f]ap!

      Adores: 3
  18. 2010 September 11
    TacoMagic permalink

    Now I’m POSITIVE the Llama-nun is putting the extra filthy posts on the weekends when some of the dirtier posters aren’t around (Taco).

    Seems like she may be more shrewd, clever, and devious than we all suspected.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 September 11

      Are you suggesting that you never believed our dear Llama-Nun (bees be upon her) to be the most shrewd, clever and devious entity on the internet? How dare you, blasphemer!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 September 11
        sarajean80 permalink

        Time to burn the infidel!

        Or make him wear the Sparkenspunk shirt.

        Adores: 5
  19. 2010 September 11

    Bring a whole new meaning to “Fruit of the loom”

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 September 11
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Which at this point, will never be fruit of the womb.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 September 11

      Fruit of the loin, surely?

      I’ll get my coat.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 September 11
        Meredith permalink

        I will join you for thinking the same exact thing.

        Oh wait, I never took my coat off…good thing, too.

        Adores: 1
  20. 2010 September 11

    I’m glad I already had breakfast today, because I certainly won’t be eating until the nausea wears off, which will probably be never.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 September 11

      Yeah. I haven’t eaten yet. I don’t think I’m going to.

      Adores: 3
  21. 2010 September 11
    yankeebird permalink

    It took a lot of balls for that guy to post that ad!

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 September 11

      that’s a cute fruit avatar ^_^

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 11
      MandaB permalink

      I agree, yankeebird. Big balls and a lot of spunk!

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 September 11
      Grampdaddy permalink

      OMG! -You are the one who submitted the AD! You are one sick son-of-a-b(logger). You’ll fit right in here. 🙂

      Welcome and, umm, welcome….

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 12
        yankeebird permalink

        OMG, I am the one! And I’m not new, I just don’t comment much. But thanks for the welcome! 🙂

        Adores: 0
  22. 2010 September 11
    EclecticBlue permalink

    Also, nobody has mentioned the catmath in the ad…. Does he want $250 or $500?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11

      I’ll gladly pay him $500 to get that thing the hell away from me.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 11
        Limelolly permalink

        That may have been his business plan all along.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11
      TacoMagic permalink

      I think he’s trying to establish what a good deal you’re getting at $250. To be fair, you can’t beat a deal like that!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 September 11
        Meredith permalink

        Maybe YOU could, TM. If you’re a Sparkette, you can’t.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 September 11
          sarajean80 permalink

          A Sparkette could, but she would require an … additional business partner. Assuming her participation would not negate the need for the shirt.

          Adores: 1
  23. 2010 September 11

    “Who know, they might still be able to be made.”

    Is Sparky…oh please say…nope, Sparky IS suggesting getting pregnant by t-shirt. Wow.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11

      I never thought I’d see an idea that made sperm-in-a-cup-guy look logical.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11
      Meredith permalink

      “Pregnant by Tshirt” Official band of the Fruit of the Loin World Tour 2010.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 September 11

      Well at least you would know who the father was…

      Adores: 1
  24. 2010 September 11

    Sparky fiddled his dandy


    He yanked his doodle it’s a dandy
    Yanked his doodle, wet or dry
    A real live lover of his right hand
    Shot on the fruit of the loom

    He yanked his doodle with his sweetheart
    She’s inflatable doodle joy
    Yanked his doodle on some Hanes
    Just to get some money
    He is the yanking asshat boy

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 11
      Meredith permalink

      “You are sick. Sick sick sick.”

      –Most inappropriate time to quote your own mother?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 September 11

        Yeah so?
        😛
        I was going redo MJ’s song “Beat it” but it seemed to obvious.

        Adores: 4
  25. 2010 September 11
    Meredith permalink

    DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS SITE, PLEASE DO NOT FLEE IN FEAR!!! We are not usually THIS twisted….I mean, usually you can see the line from the upper decks at least.

    The crew of the S.S. Sparky has wrestled the wheel from our beloved captain and sailed far faaaar from the line today.

    MUTINY!!!

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 11

      Yeah! Normally we’re all about tasteful things like; penis costumes, chamber pot soup, demon dolls who like water sports and philanthropic Sparky’s giving away multiple copies of “Black Cock Down.”

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 September 11
        Meredith permalink

        Can’t…write….laughing.a.,too….hard……hiccups

        What I MEANT was, we TRY to keep a thin veil of decency between us and the blatant atrocities. Well, maybe it’s just ME. This may be the first time I’ve really let my hair down and posted everything I’ve thought about a topic. I wanted to keep up the slight appearance of being a lady.

        I do have class, after all.

        It’s just all low.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11

          Oh we know you’re a lady, Meredith. After all, I’ll never look at Dunkin’ Donuts the same again. 😉

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11
          sarajean80 permalink

          You are one calassay luxury woman, Meredith.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 11

        Perhaps the children and faint of heart would be best going to one of the other older posts… hypnodogs, surf-ironing-boards, unblublers, nacho-fountains, tables and french prudential furniture, cats of a number and species yet to be determined…

        Adores: 2
  26. 2010 September 11
    Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo permalink

    I vehemently deny right-out that I am behind this.

    Our line of quality shirts are all for $6.00!

    And besides, our model of “Most Amazing Shirts” only come in black.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 11
      Meredith permalink

      I have a feeling they look lovely under a blacklight.

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 September 11
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Most Amazing Shirts” only come in black

      “Mr. Winkey, you have a Mr. Sharpton on line one….”

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 11
        Mr. Winkey permalink

        Oh, does he want to buy a shirt?

        **winks at Grampdaddy and his canine avatar beings.**

        Adores: 2
  27. 2010 September 11

    Hey guys, serious bidness ahead:
    As much as we love Windrose’s recaps, it would be unfair to make her do it on her birthday. So here’s my idea. I need anyone who wants to play along to do a recap tonight. But don’t post it here. Instead, post it in Windrose’s thread in the forum. Don’t read anyone else’s recap until after yours is posted. That way we get many different views of what went on today. Deal?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11
      Astrognash permalink

      Oh… that’s better than my idea…

      I was about to suggest that we all flock* around her and give her a reverse group punch to show her how much we appreciate her.

      *You know, all slug-like and whatnot.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 11
      Not My Name permalink

      I didn’t know it was Windrose’s birthday. Happy Birthday Windy!*

      *Yes, Windy.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11

      Almost midnight on the east coast, and comments have trailed off so I’ve started my recap. Looks like Isaac’s made a late appearance so I’ll have to do a little editing. I’m guess I might be done within a half hour. I’ll post a note here to let you know when it’s up.

      Adores: 1
  28. 2010 September 11
    Not My Name permalink

    Ahhh my eyes! Burn it, and burn the person selling it too!

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 September 11
      Meredith permalink

      That’s the first constructive thing someone’s suggested today, NMN.

      HAHAAHHAHAAAAAA….PROCEED WITH THE SPARKY BURNING!!!

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 September 11

        Funny cuz I almost wrote this earlier.

        *Knocks on Sparky’s door*

        Sparky, “Can I help you.”

        Me, “Are you the guy with the amazing shirt?

        Sparky, “Yes!”

        *BANG*
        *Sound of shell casing and Sparky hitting the floor*
        *Smell of gasoline*

        *We see a match arcing through the air*

        Me, “My work is done here.”

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11
          sarajean80 permalink

          Silly puppy!

          Smart vigilantes use silencers.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 11

          I’m sure all his neighbors are used to hearing “things” go off all the time…

          Adores: 3
  29. 2010 September 11

    the most amazing shirt
    *Anagram fun*

    It’s Zenith Math Orgasm (Catulators procreating on top of the TV)

    Him Aims, Thong Zest Art (Modern art on a T-shirt)

    Man Shot Maze, Hit Grits (Wow, nice shot!)

    Met Most Hat Hair Zings (Snappy replies after taking off your cap)

    It’s Hero Ham’s Matt Zing (Super Ham gets indignant)

    Him Stag Tart Zones (Goes alone to the red light district)

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 September 11

      Aww, spell check took out the repeated word in the last one 🙁

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11
      kelli permalink

      It’s Hero Ham’s Matt Zing

      Am I the only one getting a gay pron vibe from that? (crickets) Okay, I’ll go back to the corner.

      Adores: 2
  30. 2010 September 11
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Thong Zest Art

    Damn you Hammy, now you’ve done it! Here comes Taco and just guess what he’s wearing.

    It’s all your fault! Everybody pray for zomb

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 September 11
      Astrognash permalink

      **Opens fridge to get string cheese.**

      **Notices “Zesty Italian” dressing.**

      **Thinks of the way the word zest has just been used on YSaC.**

      **Decides to dress his next salad in Ranch.**

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 11
        kelli permalink

        Decides to dress his next salad in Ranch

        If you’re going to dress it in Ranch, I have some nice dungarees and I know where you can get an “amazing shirt”

        *puts myself in corner for rest of day

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 11
        sarajean80 permalink

        Try not to think about what Ranch looks a little bit like while you do that.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 11
        Sr. Margaret Michael permalink

        I just love ranch dressing, especially on carrots. You know, those cute little baby carrots? I can nibble on them for hours and they are good for you, too!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Professor Dumbledore permalink

          I concur, Sister. Although, you know, I prefer the long, thick, uncut carrots myself. My favorite thing is too dip them in the dressing, then suck all the dressing off, so that I can dip one carrot a lot more than once. Before I started doing that, I would always have leftover dressing, and when I tried to drink it out of the cup, it didn’t taste so good. Alas, it would always drip out onto my robes!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 11
          Sr. Margaret Michael permalink

          Perhaps if you took your robes off while nibbling on the carrot….. that might eliminate the need to clean up afterward. Or you could just wave your wand around until everything was better.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Professor Dumbledore permalink

          Oh! I’ve had a brilliant idea! I could just take an old t-shirt and use it as a bib! Then, when I need to get rid of it I can sell it on…

          …what do the Muggles call it?

          Oh, yes, “The Craig’s List” or somesuch!

          Adores: 2
  31. 2010 September 11
    MandaB permalink

    Now we have a fun new game we can play: amazing shirt, lice poncho, or death?

    You are climbing Mt. Everest and all of your gear slides off a cliff. You will freeze before you get to the next camp if you don’t dress yourself in the amazing shirt or the lice poncho. What do you choose?

    You have gone canoeing with friends and plan to camp overnight in the woods. All of your gear is lost or soaked when your canoe overturns. Your friends are devoured by a ravenous, flesh eating crow (sorry Windrose!). To survive the night you must wear the amazing shirt or the lice poncho. Which will it be?

    Hey, no fair choosing death each time!

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 September 11

      Well for the first one, I’ll go with lice poncho, hoping that most of the lil’ buggers froze to death. Unfortunately, Animal House (I think) taught me that lice don’t drown, but there’s not enough water in the world to wash away the squick so I’m gonna have to pull a Bear Gril for scenario number two and make a blanket out of flesh-eating crow feathers.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 11
        sarajean80 permalink

        Bear could probably weave a blanket out of his camera crew. They would keep him toasty-warm!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11
          kelli permalink

          Bear probably would have a blanket being carried by his camera crew.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11
          sarajean80 permalink

          I wouldn’t mind meeting a blanket-being, I bet they’ re really comfy and very good listeners.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 11
          Astrognash permalink

          I want one too!

          I suggest we go talk to Linus van Pelt.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 11

        #1 I would quickly fashion the poncho and shirt into the likeness of a female Yeti*, then, in my best hummingbird code, I would call a male Yeti. While he is…uh…busy with the dummy I would crack him over the head with a rock, hollow him out and sleep inside till morning.

        *They should have about the same smell and amount of lice as a female Yeti.

        #2
        After the crow eats my friends, he falls over in a dead drunk. I smash him in the head with a rock (I saved it from the Yeti) hollow him out and climb inside till morning.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 11
          sarajean80 permalink

          I sense a theme here.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11
          Not My Name permalink

          Am I just imagining it, or was the “hollowing out” a Star Wars* reference….maybe it’s just me.

          *Original movies, not crap new ones.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 11
      kelli permalink

      If there is mayonaise available after both, I’ll go with the lice poncho.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 September 11
        Meredith permalink

        The shirt already has “mayonnaise” on it, kelli.

        I choose….to never go canoeing or climb Mt. Everest with Manda!!!

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 September 11
        Whirlwitch permalink

        With reference to today’s post, let’s not discuss mayonnaise.

        Adores: 2
  32. 2010 September 11
    Not My Name permalink

    What really makes me sad and disgusted is the fact that someone will probably buy this.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 11
      kelli permalink

      For the sake of my sanity, I’m choosing to believe this is a fake ad.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11
      vickie permalink

      what may be worse than someone buying the shirt would be someone hoping to get pregnant with said shirt….

      Adores: 0
  33. 2010 September 11
    Not My Name permalink

    I have to say this one thing, and all new people reading this look away now…..Did he have to use a shirt? Does he have no tissues or toilet paper!?* Also, what the heck is wrong with him thinking that someone would be willing to buy it at all, let alone for several hundred bucks? Ahh screw it, it’s CL, I should know better by now.

    *The line was gone the second drmk posted this, so it’s basically free-for-all posting at this point.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 11

      As he’s now trying to use the fact that it was his splooge-catcher as a selling point, I think he probably DID have tissues or something but he somehow thought he had some kind of great business idea.

      That or he used it for that purpose once, decided that simply washing it wouldn’t help, adopted it as his spunk rag, and later developed the idea to sell it.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 September 11
        Whirlwitch permalink

        “adopted it as his spunk rag”

        I don’t think he had to adopt it, B. It’s biologically his now.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 11

          Excellent point.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 11

      I’m sure it was posted as a prank.
      The sheep-chair and lice-poncho weren’t legitimate either.

      Adores: 0
  34. 2010 September 11

    Seems like a ripoff of the reviews of the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt from Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A ) to me…

    Adores: 0
  35. 2010 September 11

    OT (because off topic is probably for the best today): I just spent the last 20 minutes looking for a dining room table on craigslist. Unable to find any satisfactory dining tables, I revised my search to dinning tables, which nearly doubled my search results. I found several octagonal tables. Did I click the ads just to count the sides? Of course I did! Number of octagonal tables with eight sides: zero. I also found several pictures of tables with junk piled on them. One seller was kind enough to point out that the junk was not included. I didn’t find anything worthy of submission, but I found one I might buy, a dinning table, without a single capital letter in the ad. Hey, cheap skates living in the dark ages* in regards to furniture prices can’t be righteously pedantic.
    *Actual quote from my mother when I told her I didn’t want to spend more than $200 on a dining set.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 September 11
      Not My Name permalink

      Oooh I’m gonna try that. I will post the results in a bit.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 11
      Not My Name permalink

      Ok, I’m not submitting this ad to the site*, I’m just going to add a link. Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with the ad?

      *It’s not crazy enough.

      http://baltimore.craigslist.org/fuo/1937547211.html

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 September 11
        sarajean80 permalink

        Across is spelled wrong?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 11
          Not My Name permalink

          Did I post the wrong link? Yup. Do I remember where the ad was? Nope. Just ignore my incessent idiotic antics down here.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 11

          Someone actually lives in Baltimore?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 11
          Not My Name permalink

          What’s that supposed to mean?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 11

          NMN, you don’t have that completely unintelligible Baltimore accent, do you?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 11
          Not My Name permalink

          No….I don’t live in Baltimore City, just in MD. And the only thing I know about people in Baltimore City, as pertaining to weird accents, is that some of them pronounce oil as “ool,” which I think is hilarious.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 11

          Guys, I’m pretty sure Meredith’s from Baltimore so be nice.
          Now that I got that out of the way, I always thought the Bal’mare accent sounded like a perfect mix of New Joisey stereotype and Sahth Ca-row-lyna stereotype.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 11

          The Ostrimu did a lovely impression of the accent at the Cambridge meetup back in June. It was…interesting.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 September 11
        ToBScholarly permalink

        Cockeysville is an actual place and people live there?

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 11

      Tabel search update: I found several ads for MOST AMAZING tables. I did NOT click on those because I am sure I do not want to see what might be all over them.

      Adores: 2
  36. 2010 September 11
    sarajean80 permalink

    I have this odd feeling that it’s someone’s birthday today, but I can’t remember who it is.

    Carl Zeiss?
    William Sydney Porter?
    Tom Landry?
    Brian DePalma?
    The drummer from the Grateful Dead?

    I’m just joking … Happy Birthday Ludacris Windrose!

    Adores: 1
  37. 2010 September 11
    Grampdaddy permalink

    As much as I hate to do this, I have a question for the dear Llama-Nun (bees be with her). By any chance was this ad actually posted by a former regular here on YSaC? I don’t want to malign anyone, but didn’t we used to have someone who posted on here as “MagicSexyFingers” or “SexyMagicFingers” – something like that, I don’t really remember. Bacontini might recall who it was….

    Adores: 2
  38. 2010 September 11
    Not My Name permalink

    Must…resist…making video game reference*….out of….sheer boredom….and….keeping comments coming….
    Losing the…..resistance….
    “Remember children, don’t feed the yao guai.**”
    Failed….dangit….

    *I’ve kept that in for about ten hours now.

    **You get a prize*** if you can guess what game that is and be right.

    ***The prize is exactly one adore.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 12
      Not My Name permalink

      I feel so sad that no one knows what video game I’m referencing…I thought at least Astro would know…..wait, how old is Astro (it’s a mature game)?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 September 12

        I mostly play simulation/god games, with some Mario and Rock Band thrown in for good measure.

        Adores: 1
  39. 2010 September 12

    Ok, my recap is up! I do hope others join in!

    Adores: 0
  40. 2010 September 12
    Windrose permalink

    You wonderful people, this has been such a great day! I love you all, and feel so appreciated. It’s 11 PM and I am off to bed. Just a little business to take care of:

    Bianchi Sound, ALL HAIL Punchity Punch punch!

    Christina, I so appreciate your recap, even though I will read it tomorrow. I am sure it’s awesome.

    G’Night, Baltimore!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 12
      Not My Name permalink

      Goodnight……

      Adores: 0
  41. 2010 September 13
    KellBell permalink

    This posting made me throw up a little

    Adores: 0
  42. 2010 November 16
    Jen permalink

    This makes me vomity. ew is an understatement.

    Adores: 0
  43. 2012 June 4
    Lizzi permalink

    oh. my. god. *baaaarff*

    Adores: 0

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