YSaC, Vol. 767: In which Yoda becomes a Certified Financial Analyst
2010 August 23
*********CFA LEVEL 1 2010 DECEMBER PAKCAGE*********
it?, and Dead it was? Beauty filled with Spice Christ. It is in the familiar with steel pipes to read it?, and Dead it was? Beauty filled with Spice Christ. It is in the familiar with steel pipes to read it?, and Dead it was? Beauty filled with Spice Christ. It is in the familiar with steel pipes to read
“Spice Christ” is my new favorite thing to say at the top of my lungs. It just doesn’t work at conversational volumes. Try it: “spice christ.” Nothing. Now shout it: “SPICE CHRIST!” Isn’t that awesome? Just THINK where you could use that.
It definitely goes right up there on the “sounds awesome when shouted” list with “guacamole!”, “chupacabras!”, and “pigstick!”
Thanks for that, Kate!
it? and Confusing it was? Ad filled with Random Words. It is in the English with poor us to read it? and Confusing it was? Ad filled with Random Words. It is in the English with poor us to read it? and Confusing it was? Ad filled with Random Words. It is in the English with poor us to read
Hurt to type that, it did? Most painful to read for Monday morning it was.
Made easier by the copy function, it was. Talk like Yoda, I often do.
Ah, but mad light-saber skills do you have?
Only peaceful, sane light saber skills I have. Speaking like this, I should stop. English 380 in a couple of hours, I have .
“There is no try; only FAIL.”
Spice Christ – the tasteful sidekick to Clothespin Jeebus!
Spice Christ is the new born again Spice Girls album.
Clothespin Jeebus’s HAWT friend.
*sends self to corner of Sunday school classroom*
Lola’s comment reminded me of this
Curse you, dang it!
It always takes at LEAST three days to get that thing out of my head!
Kae, it could be worse, you could have this stuck in your head like I did for a week.
I clicked it, but I refuse to turn on my sound.
Ha! I CAN learn!
Kelli – you need to go to the corner and you may not come out until you have atoned for this sin. You could have at least posted a warning….
I’ll put myself in the corner and I promise I’ll behave (badly) from now on.
Why would you knowingly inflict that on us? What have we done (Or not done) to/for you?
I did warn everyone it was worse than the first one in a roundabout way. I had it inflicted upon me at TuCon and I still occasionally find myself humming it at work.
I’ve been lucky. They canceled each other out and neither will stick in my head.
Spice Christ for heavenly tasting food.
It’s a new cartoon series…
Spice Christ* and Frankincense Jr.
*echo effect here
With sidekicks Goldie and Myrrh!
Sound more like a law firm. Frankincense, Jr, Goldie & Myrrh, Esquires
Is that anything like a Spice Weasel?
I have friends who named their dog “Spice Weasel.” They liked the sound, and the dog did have vaguely weaselly aspects.
We have our band name of the day, methinks. It would be a little better as “Space Christ”, but it’s still a winner.
Spice Christ could team up with Space Ghost…but if Space Ghost is only coast to coast and Spice Christ is universal, then well, they might have territorial issues.
Space Ghost, is a coast-to-coast, wholly-owned subsidiary (incorporated in Delware) of universal Spa[i]ce Christ.
I read it as Space Christ at first. I think the concept is awesomer, but the internal rhyme of Spice Christ makes it more fun to say (or shout).
I read Space Christ as well. I also didn’t realize it repeated until I got to the end.
Sounds like a Monday. : P
This reads very Red Table for Sale to me. Think of it.
“Tonight, the Red Tables return to their roots at the 40 Watt to perform the titular song from their latest album, Beauty filled with Spice Christ!”
I imagine if Sparky hadn’t hit enter, it would keep going for quite a while repetitively like this.
I also have my suspicions about this possibly warranting the “Turing Test=Fail” tag.
Indeed. This reminds me of the spam emails that try to fool word analysis-based spam blockers by including a passage from some literary work.
Is this one from Finnegan’s Wake?
The big question here is, what the heck is a Pak and why does it need to be caged?
Paks if left alone and uncaged will multiply and randomly switch letters around in signs and ads. That is why it is vital that if you must leave your pak alone, you must cage it.
What, HamCan, you don’t have a pakcage? Surely you restrain yourself from time to time.*
*Albeit probably not here.
I think a Pakcage is what Ms. Pakman looks for in a Pakman.
Is Pakman the Russian version of Pac-Man?
Da, is Pakman.
In Soviet Russia Spice Christ pakages you!
Paks must be restrained because, unrestrained, they find other Paks and roam in packs. Duh.
(Never mind. I’ll slap myself.)
As sometimes happens with spambots, the justaposition strikes me.
The ecclesiastical inquiry worthy of Gregorian debate, of Christos both of spice, and vice for Spice, I fiind subsumed by the implication
of the possibility of a British tartlet purporting to to musical skill and talent,
but just another exercise in celebrephilla.
(Perhaps, four hours hence, in yoda speak will I.)
Capnspeak filtered through Yodaspeak to read, I do not wish.
I would love to do a crossword puzzle with you Cap. You stretch my brain. 😀
My mom and I do the NY Times together every Sunday…from 3000 miles away. They have a “solve with a friend” feature online. You have to pay something like $35 or $40 for a one-year membership, but it’s worth it for us.
And I just realized this post was a week ago and I’m writing a comment that you may not read. Meh.
My favorite avatar so far Capn!
And for those with an Asian flair: Basil Buddha!
And just in time for Ramadan, it’s Majoram Mohammed.
Oh! I’ve got one!
As alternative choices, we also have Oregano Abraham and Mustard Mohammad!
**aw, kelli beat me to Mohammad while I was looking up spices that start with “m”.**
Astro, repeat after me, “It’s a band injury; in no way did kelli beat me.”
I don’t remember band camp being that hard on people.
Clearly Holy Basil’s monopolistic reign over religious spice has ended.
Abraham Arrowroot.
He who controls the Spice Christ controls the universe…
The Spice Christ must flow.
The steel pipes, the steel pipes, calling they are! From glen to glen, they are, and down the mountainside! it? And dead it was? Spice Christ, oh Danny Boy!
Oh, Windrose, oh, Windrose, I love you so.
OSV (Object-Subject-Verb) syntax I love. Very rare it is. Another kind of word order most languages choose. In it Yoda speaks its foreignness to emphasize. Of course random output often computers create which it resembles. Fragments their sentences are. FYI, the periodic style Latin used & preferred, suspense and interest in a sentence to build, which to OSV close was. SOV it was, same general idea, as you see can.
I am not going to attempt to emulate this construction.
But your point recalls the Twain essay “That Awful German Language” and reminds me that he says German puts the verb at the end. Now, aside from a few numbers, some foods, and a snatch of song or two, I cannot speak German. If I could remember verb tenses, I might still be able to speak French but the only real difference in sentence structure between French and English is adjective placement.
And… nifty that was!
Well that Guillaume le Conquérant brought his outrageous french to the angles and saxons littering angleterre, and the mix gave us the roots of this thing we call English today.
With leftovers of modifying nouns for gender, tense and plurals; and also changing some verbs, as well.
My very-most-favorite-ever quote regarding English.
Please excuse the length of the quote.
Exchange between Victor Grego and Ernst Mallin, from “Fuzzy Sapiens” by H. Beam Piper
I particularly love his wink-and-a-nod to the more immediate outcome of said dates.
I have a total crush on Piper.
One of the things I love about English is that its etymology is history, and history of England is the history of the language.
/word nerdery
Reads like the instructions I once received with a new fax machine…no, wait…this makes more sense than that ever did.
Never mind I will.
I will have a double ristretto venti half-soy nonfat decaf organic chocolate brownie iced vanilla double-shot gingerbread frappuccino extra hot with foam whipped cream upside down double blended, one sweet N low and one nutrasweet, and ice with extra Spice Christ.
Please.
That sounds painful.
And delicious!
I thought that said “double risotto” Hammy…I like a little rice with my coffee.
And, even though I know better, now I keep wanting to read it as “double prosciutto”.
Mmmm, lumpy coffee.
Prosciutto in coffee sounds like a breakfast drink that just did not catch on.
Could it be any worse than “toaster bacon”?
Double proscuitto is good, especially wrapped around asparagus spears and lightly broiled.
With a twist.
Clearly this person is Arrakean; “Spice Christ” is obviously the Kwisatz Haderach. Pak should definitely be kept caged, but that’s another story.
herbert references FTW
Pak is either Sardukar or in legion with the Harkonnen, thus, kanlii applies.
“Kwisatz Haderach,
Give a dog a bone,
Spice Christ, Spice Christ
Run away home.”
I think I’m going to wander around muttering “and dead was it?” in a bad Irish accent for the rest of the day.
I wonder how long it’ll take me to get arrested.
………..in 3,2,1…..unless you’re in NY, and then I’m wondering how long it will take you to get cast in the revival of Darby O’Gill and the Little People.
I’m in the Midwest…but we do have a large art competition coming up in about two weeks, so I can just say that I’m testing out the acoustics for my performance art piece. Considering the one of the top five finishers last year did something massive with balloons, I might get away with it.
Let’s rearrange this into the first bot made soliloquy!:
“Definition of it” – By botmantwobluenoclue
It?
Beauty filled with spice christ.
And dead it was.
Is it in the familiar with steel pipes?
Read it, beauty filled with spice christ.
Read the familiar steel pipes.
It is in.
Beauty filled with spice christ.
And dead it was?
And dead it was?
*snap snap snap*
“Spice Christ – the Messiah with Flava!”
Spice Christ – The term used for the special spice used on the body of christ (a typically distasteful cracker or piece of bread) when communion is taken at any church.
What the spice actually consists of is unknown, but I wager it has something to do with “steel pipes”..?
When adding said spice to the body of christ, you must proclaim “BAM, SPICE CHRIST!” (per drmk)
I’ve taken this concept further…now I spice christ everything I eat. I even used some in my coffee this morning!
Marketing Slogan:
Spice Christ – mmmm, tastes like salvation.
This reminds me of a drunken, late night conversation I had a long time ago. My friends and I had wondered if more people would go to church if they made flavored Eucharist.
My guess would be “No!”
I have never heard anyone give the reason as to why they don’t go to church to be because Communion doesn’t taste minty.
Now, if each host was dosed, that might be a different story.
Not minty, we were going with Pringles flavors; sour cream and onion, bbq, cheezums…
Then we realized those were called rice cakes and, no, no on eats them.
This made me think of the “Beggin’ Strips” commercial – whole line of people, hands folded piously, chanting “Bacon…, Bacon…, BACON!!!!!”
Tamale, I didn’t know you and Sr. Margaret Michael are
the same persontwins.I might go to synagogue if they handed out free bacon*.
*Turkey bacon, of course. Regular bacon in a synagogue would just be sacrilicious.
Tamale, I didn’t know you and Sr. Margaret Michael are the same person twins
Kelli, we used to be, but we gave it up for Lint.
What would you be willing to give up for a piece of usable cloth?
This says it all…I had to! Note – check on this in about 2 days, and be ready to laugh your ass off!
– email from UrbanDictionary.com:
“Thanks for your definition of Spice Christ!”
And dead it WILL BE!
Yoda does Joyce Kilmer, LTR and Keats:
One steel pipe to read it,
One steel pipe to find it,
One steel pipe to bring them all and
in the darkness bind them,
Dead it was in the familiar.
Beauty is filled with Spice Christ,
Spice Christ is filled with beauty, –
that is all on earth ye know,
and all ye need to know because
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only Spice Christ can make a tree
and Dead it was?
and Dead it was in the familiar….
Hey mud, that’s not fair! I only used what was provided in the post…
Mmmm…tastes like salivation.
I was using poetic license.
*pulls out my wallet*
See? I got my Associates degree in Poetic License and my PhD in Bullshittery.
😉
Isn’t a PhD in Bullshittery just a JD? 😉
I think that I shall never see,
Spice Christ given ‘way for free.
But with one ring to rule them all,
Spice Christ hangs upon the wall.
Poetry it not be, is it can?
Well done Gramps. Oh, very well done it is.
The Pole-eeesh
There is no grammatical solution
To his troubled elocution
Has no sentence construction
There is no conjunctions
He smokes Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Our so-called Sparky types
With words he tries to sell you
He subjugates the words
But the rhetoric often fails
He smokes Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Why are the answers lies?
Living and dead it was
It’s a pakage we can’t buy
There must be another CFA
He smokes Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Spice Christ in a familiar pipe
Holy spice christ crackers batman…look at what I started!
Familiar with Jim Morrisham and the Adores, you are not. Strong with the snark, he is.
4, 2 + 2 is.
*hangs CFA shingle above door*
YodaMath?
No Mudsy – Math of Yoda is? (or “is not”)
Write-offs, you seek write-offs!
Invest or invest not, there is no golden parachute.
There is…another…bail out.
When $900 million you have, look this tacky you will.
Many adores!
I collect spam bot poetry. I plan on doing something like a series of dramatic readings or calligraphied scrolls with it someday. Nothing I’ve received is quite as awesome as this though. If only Depressy was a real person, I’d love to see a video of him reading this one.*
*Get out the clown make up, Bianchi!
If you could track down the actual hipster whose image is being used as Mr. Winkey, I’m sure he’d read it to you for a fee.
God (Spice Christ?) only knows what that currency would translate to.
Pabst Blue Ribbon and T-shirts with unicorns on them, I’d imagine.
Jeebus clothespins! What if Mr. Winkey is the anti-Spice Christ?
Children. Children! CHILDREN!!
Whatever do you think you are doing, saying such things? I am appalled that you would use the name of Him in such a way. “Spice Christ” – like he is just some kind of hamburger helper…..
Now, say “Good afternoon, S’ster”, go back to your desks, and we’ll pray for your little heathen souls later.
How’s the alter boy rehab program going?
[pedantry]
altar
[/pedantry]
“Alter boy rehab” is something else entirely, HC.
Oh balls!
For a second, I thought Lola was writing [pederasty] altar [/pederasty] there.
*whew*
Hammy, I sure hope you didn’t really mean to be “altering” boys – unless, of course, you are Jewish and just taking a little off the top.
Good afternoon, Sister!
*offers flask*
Ooh, thank you dear Lola child. You are such a good girl, but you might want to cover up just a bit – there are some nasty people about who may be misled by the exposure of your womanly parts and think you appear impure.
Now, let’s see the flask – Ah, it seems to be the blessed nectar of Jameson – salvation is at hand…
Sr. Margaret, while I put on this cardigan, please explain how you suddenly resemble the Swedish chef.
I have not had that much Jameson, nor have you.
Ummmm – Transubstantiation???
And TamaleIllusion would be my Altar Ego?, (to play off Hammie’s earlier comment).
Transubstatiation? Bilocation?
Now that is a comment that could use the Matt tags/
Has your communion been made better by Spice Christ?
You’re very welcome!
If so, try our new brand of cereal – Messiah Flakes
And, our new clothing line – I am
Also, fly our new airlines – Abba International
Why not listen to the best radio station around – Alpha & Omega
HAHA…too far? Great, now I’m going to hell for this thread, thanks YSAC!
Abba? Aren’t they
SwedishVikings?Vikings? Not in this context: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ab_(Semitic)
Pfft, Candor, we’ve all signed up for our handbasket tickets already. We’ll save you some marshmallows, though.
I got me a window seat!
Abba is also a line of organic hair care products.
You know you’ve hit the big time, if you’ve got the unlimited round-trip ticket to hell-in-handbasket.
No, I’ve still only got a one-way. But somebody’s got it.
Does it count if your inflatable effigy of the Spectacular Spider-Man can get you into the HOV Lane on I-666 (a.k.a the Highway to Hell)?
“Old Spice Christ” – the aftershave that’s been around for ages.
Almost as long as Hai Karate
“Old Spice Christ means quality,
said the Pharisee to the Levite,
so look for the bottle with the Romans
attacking at night…”
Whistling a really old sea shanty…
What will we do with the drunken Noah?
What will we do with the drunken Noah?
What will we do with the drunken Noah?
Earlye in the morning?
Hammy, I want to hear the rest of that!
Shanties have no end, they go until the line is heaved in or the tackle is finished with.
That is why they follow a 1/4 time of tug, tug, tug, HEAVE.
Ashore this is often but a 1/3 of “ley, ho, HEAVE.”
Comes right out of the Celtic tradition for Waulking Songs, where music is set to the work rhythm (or, vice versa, in chicken-egg-chicken fashion)
Congrats to Llama-nun and Ostrimu!* Yousuckatcraigslist.com is in the top million websites by traffic!
Here’s all of them.
*May bees be upon them
Hooray!
How many websites devoted to sporks do you think rank above us?
* Alexa Traffic Rank: 351,281
* Traffic Rank in US: 155,648
YSaC’s not just in the top million, it’s in the top half globally, and top quarter in the US.
Sporks are pretty awesome. Jus’ sayin’
Now, bear in mind, we’re in the top million websites by traffic among people willing to install the Alexa toolbar.
But that’s still something!
Seeing as how I have a niece named Alexa, her mom is unlikely to be happy about all this ‘net activity {G}
Holy Spice Christ, elebenty adores and congratulations!
Wait… that means oodles of people are watching me (well, us, but me by inclusion).
*suddenly feels shy*
This looks like some of the literature I’ve analyzed in class before. No wonder I failed English.*
*this may not be true.
Spice Christ has a familiar?
Jesus is a witch?
Sadly, there are people who will assert this. They also think that they are witches, which is about as true. When real witches/Pagans/other similar folk find them, we snark them mercilessly. But we also die a little inside.
I’ve argued that Jesus was a better Pagan than most Pagans I’ve met. But then again, he was also a better Christian than most Christians I’ve met.
One thing is for certain, Jesus was way cool.
He could have played guitar better than Hendrix
He could have told the future
He could have baked the most delicious cake in the world…
But could he have stayed standing after a roundhouse from Chuck Norris?
Becki – Please call mum and dad at xxx-xxx-xxxx. We are so sorry we had to put little Camellia down, she was just in so much pain. We love you……….
Since we’ve established that topics are for the weak, I just have to share this. I’ve spent the day messing around in Finale NotePad, making an arrangement of Malagueña for a brass ensemble (and mallets). I want to share the midi of it with you all.
Erensto Lecuona’s Malagueña arranged for Brass Ensemble by Astrognash
Hey, that’s pretty good! As a long time Finale user, I can say that if you can swing the academic pricing for the full version, as opposed to NotePad, you won’t regret it.
Well, there’s often opportunity to use the full version at school during lunch if I want. I’ll also be taking Music Theory this year, which is right across the hall from Band, so I’ll be getting to use it a lot more. Also, whenever a new demo comes out, I get to have fun with that for a month.
One Christ two Christ red Christ blue Christ
black Christ blue Christ plain Christ spice Christ
some are clove and some are dill. some are good and some are swill.
Some are dead and some are beauty filled. And some are cherry extract swill.
Why are they dead and beauty filled and swill? I don’t know. Go ask Mr. Bill.
Some are CFA’s and some are pipe. The pipe one has a cinnamon stripe.
From there to here, from here to there, spicy things everywhere.
There are some that give you runs. The runs that give you hot, hot buns
Oh me! Oh my!
Oh me! Oh my!
what a lot of spicy Christ’s go by.
Some have two stars and some have four.
Some have six stars and some have more.
Where do they come from?
I can’t say.
But I bet they would burn for a long, long day.
We say ice cream come!
When we go.
Come real fast.
Not real slow.
Some make us high.
And some make us slow
Not one of them is like Harriet Tubman.
Don’t ask us why.
Go ask your Al Sharpton.
I will not eat green eggs and ham*,
But have some adores, Ham in Can.
*Mmm… sacrilicious.**
**Definitely in my top million favorite words out of words that have installed my toolbar.
Your best yet, Hammy!
TamaleIllusion, you’re in the Don’t Suck Box! Just as predicted. Awesome! You must have your YSaC card ready for punching in just a couple hours.
*********CFA LEVEL 1 2010 DECEMBER PAKCAGE*********
it?, and Dead it was? Beauty filled with Spice Christ. It is in the familiar with steel pipes to read it?, and Dead it was? Beauty filled with Spice Christ. It is in the familiar with steel pipes to read it?, and Dead it was? Beauty filled with Spice Christ. It is in the familiar with steel pipes to read
*Puts on Serious Academic hat, adjusts spectacles*
Now, class, we have here a fine example of prose poetry from the Craigslist period. It was submitted anonymously, as so much of that genre has been, but is generally attributed to Spam Bot, although not the same Spam Bot as the author of the FEMALETRAITS saga.
Note the use of asterisks in the title, a mode often employed to speak to the inability of standard text to convey meaning in our post-post-modern world. The title itself cleverly combines the striving of our society for official recognition of achievements via titles, levels and certification with a reference to the Nativity, thereby signifying spiritual matters, and also the Grace that comes unasked and unearned. So we have our basic dichotomous interplay established.
Now, the poem starts off in the midst of a sentence, pointing up that existence is ongoing, and one can never have either the first or the last word. Christ, of course, claimed “I am the Alpha and the Omega” – once again, the tension between our society and the religious establishment.
And then the poet gets to the meat of the discourse by questioning the Resurrection. Was Christ really dead? And there’s the opinion that the Christ story is beautiful, regardless of whether it is factual, but that Christianity has become non-essential, a mere spice to add flavour to our existence. Using the word spice, of course, also suggests that Christianity has become exoticized, seen as “other”, and of course Christianity did arise in the Middle East, in the past sometimes referred to as the Spice Lands, so there’s that lovely historical reference, and a reminder of Christianity’s origins – in North America, we do find the Middle East “exotic” in many ways! So it’s a very astute observation, and the reader is left to wonder about our ways of classifying other cultures, as well as the more central questions of relevance versus obsolescence.
So! Now we have an image of steel pipes, which are characterized as “familiar”, and linked to reading. Steel pipes also bring up images of industry and utility, mechanization. Very much a counter to otherworldly exotic beauty, yes? And yet, perhaps it is just this utility and industrialization we need to interpret the other, to read it. Otherwise, how else would some fabulous legend from a far-off place be relatable? Hmmmm?
And then we have the repetition. Because if our collective stream of consciousness is ongoing, it is also never really original. Ideas are repeated again and again, and our struggle is only in how to work with them, how to use them to create. Note that there are no final conclusions, here. Craigslist poets in general leave you with the questions they have raised; they don’t give firm answers.
Right! Read chapter 34 for next class! Have a good weekend!
**raises hand**
Isn’t Chapter 34 the one with Shakesbeer’s romantic comedy, A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream, about Voldemort, Ash Ketchum, Mary Magdeline, and HHNF?
Teenage boy crosses the line – whoever would have thought? 8)
Not surprising, trouble is they don’t know what to do once the line is crossed.
😀
It’s exactly that kind of academicy bull that got me through high school and college :-p
I enjoyed writing this, but I now suspect all of my English lit professors of being frauds.
Wait, all the day long (and mine started at 2300 0n Sunday) and not one Jesuit willing to take up against the Greorians on whether there is a christos in spice or if there is a chtistos for spice?
Could Cardamom have slavation where cinnamon might not?
If the mace is ground to make allspice, is it lesser or greater in the realm of Creation?
Just how many peppercorns can be ground to dance on the head of a pin? (Can we even count pink peppercorns, which are not Piperaceae at all?)
Or is spice, as seasoning, a vehicle to Enlightenment, to salvation? Can capcaesin be devine?
Or, is this to be circular-binned with Posh, Scary, Lame, Out-of-Date, Annoying, Change0the-Channel, Look-even-annoys-the-Brits, and Screechy Spice, to the compacting dustbin of history?
Well, all I can say is….I UNDERSTOOD this post!!!! Yeah!!
It helps, I guess, that I’m a pretty fair cook and know a thing or two about spices.
I really want to make a “you got a little cap’n in you” joke, but I fear those commercials are outdated enough that it would just look like I’m trying to cross the line.
Okay, TamaleIllusion, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Dune!
“Spice Christ” would make a good band name