YSaC, Vol. 748: It’s encrapular!
Gighugic Storage Thingy – $175
Howdy folks.
So I don’t really know what to say here, I have no idea the original purpose or who made these. My dad is a pack rat and used these to store some of this stuff in his carport. He has had some health issues and I am on the long journey of trying to find new homes for his stuff. I do not know what you may want to use it for but be creative I’m sure you can think of something! I have 3 containers in total I am posting them for 175$ OBO each. (I only have one empty so far) If you want more than 1 I can empty the others pretty easily and cut you a deal for freeing up my garage. They are 4ft long, 4ft 10in tall (including the wheels), 7ft 8in long. They are in ok shape. The top on all of them is warped due to being outside with a tarp and water buildup weighing it down. The wheels work but the only way we got them to my house was by renting a flat bed trailer with ramps. I cannot deliver but we could help load.
Email is the best way to reach me xxxxxx@live.com or xxx-xxx-xxxxThanks for looking
April
Let’s leave aside the (high) likelihood of finding the dead bodies of hookers in the other three storage units April hasn’t gotten around to cleaning out yet. I’d like to address the use of the word gighugic. I’m assuming that April is trying to be clever, and is attempting to create a portmanteau word out of gigantic and huge, in much the same way that people use ginormous or hugetastic.*
My personal opinion? The use of such words is craptacular. I mean, only an idioramus would use such abominawful words. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s an alcoholiday here.
*No, nobody actually uses that.
Thanks, yuansun!
It’s like the home version of “Let’s Make a Deal! but somehow much, much worse.
“I’ll take Door 2, Monty.”
:dramatic music:
“You’ve won… A hobo’s mummified corpse, surrounded by cans of vintage Crisco!”
“Aww, man! I knew I should have kept the 150 square feet of parquet flooring!”
SJ – you hit the nail square on! Yes, they’re hobo cottages. And portable too……..
The perfect thing for today’s modern hobo on the go.
Of course they’re portable!
“Hey, ma! Another hobo is livin in the gihugic storage thingy!” “Just push it out to the road and down the hill like the other 2. Now where are we going to find more gihugic storage thingies?”
My mistake. they’re not just gihugic, they’re gighugic!
Yeah, without that “g” it’s just gibberish.
Gibbertrash?
But hey, look on the bright side. Slice up that plywood into 1 foot by 1 foot squares, rotate every other one, and you’ve got your parquet back.
Parquet?
No, Butter!
Parkour!
Capn, I had to explain that reference to some kids a few years ago. Ollllldddd … that’s what I am.
Old, my eye! Barely older than that taco whippersnapper.
I stereo equipment bought new older than you are . . .
[grumbmumble,wander off being crotchetyentious]
Now, Cap’n, your only one Astro older than I am, that’s not old 😀
Which makes you charmingly Lola-ish, give or take a Pimms or twain.
I realized yesterday that I have a feather that is older than several of my friends. I found it in my backyard when I was 10. It now adorns an oak staff that I cut shortly after my nephew was born. He’s starting his second year of college.
I’m not old, but I feel that way sometimes.
And I think after opening that box and seeing the corpse, I’d need to go see Tobias Fünke, my analrapist.
AD, the Movie is getting ready to start shooting soon.
Maeby, Maeby not.
Well, at least IF’s cousin isn’t the one with a crush on him.
Hey April!
You don’t know what the “thingy” is but you’re just sure it’s worth the gighugic amount $175. Although it really brightens up a room, we have to disagree with your appraisal
hilbillyability.We suggest you save it and bury your hoarder dad in it when he passes.
Call 1-800-Got Junk? because we have a feeling you’re going to need us very soon. Let’s keep in touch.
Thanks for sucking,
The Guys in the Blue Shirts
Our Motto & Mission Statement: If it looks like garbage, smells like garbage and holds garbage—it’s garbage!
I don’t know why she’s selling them. These are obviously DIY burial boxes. Wait – her dad isn’t in one of them, is he?
….the Gighugic equivalent of a cigar box.
Hey, her dad was a VERY nice man! His remains are worth every PENNY of those 175 obos!!!
Look, I know you weren’t trying to be insensitive, but you should know that gighugism is a real medical condition that causes excessive, rapid growth of the head in relation to the body. Those afflicted suffer an excessively large and heavy head, while at the same time experiencing stunted growth of the brain due to excessive fluids inside the cranial cavity. You can see examples of this in people like Newt Gingrich, Tori Spelling, Andrew Dice Clay, Mickey Rourke, and Glenn Beck. Not to be confused with intracranial dwarfism, which causes a normal-sized head and shrunken brain, such as those found in Dan Quayle and Lauren Caitlin Upton and suchlike. So a little sensitivity, please.
Also, I think that’s my tiller.
suchlike…
Lauren Caitlin Upton…
hehe…I see what you did there.
You forgot Sarah Palin (she writes her brain on the inside of her hand)
You’re totally right, it hadn’t even occurred to me but Palin and Co. have all the classic signs of intracranial dwarfism, you betcha. Good catch.
Actually, Sarah Palin suffers from a condition called Voluminous Neurofecalism.
Isn’t that contracted by cranial-rectal inversion? That would make a lot of sense.
Also, Sean Penn, the majority of reality TV “stars” and whoever came up with the concept for those Hillshire Farms “Go, Meat!” ads which are militant enough to turn even my carnivorous soul vegan.
Oooohhhh, it’s a thing!!!! So now I can’t make fun of Biden anymore, can I? It’s not nice to make fun of the…special…
Feel free to Biden-miliate.
And feel free to make it a f**king big deal!
So in driving through the rural areas east of Fort Wayne on my way to an alphorn retreat last week, I saw a sign for the Dan Quayle museum. I thought about stopping, but decided that whatever was in there in actuality would never measure up to what I see in my mind’s eye every time I think about it.
I’m picturing a mock-up of his office, complete with animatronics, with Quayle speaking in Latin to an ambassador for Latin America, a 4th grade science project-caliber model of the solar system with Mars and Earth in the same orbit, a dartboard with Murphy Brown’s picture on it, a canister on his desk full of extra Es to use at will, and Neil deGrasse Tyson with a sophisticated laser gun outside the window going in for the kill.
What was the price of admission?
*sign on the door*
ADMISSION: One rock from the parking lot. We’re good with a
potatoepotato too.Neil deGrasse Tyson is my hero!
I’d pay two potatoes to go see him!
I lurve him. It’s purely physics-al.
Price of admission is $3. I think I have a $3 bill around, think they’ll take it?
Here’s the website, complete with a frame smack in the middle with their facebook page and a HIT COUNTER on the front page.
Ahahaha… I could only see the front page, my work location blocked out being able to see the content.
Phew, that was a ‘close’ one.
The front page I get for that site has a small blonde child doing what looks suspsiciously like a Heil Hitler salute, in amongst a whole bunch of kiddies all of whom have been butchered into something like impressionism by some fool with Photoshop.
I am afeared to go further in case I get put on the work internet blacklist. Again.
Er, excuse me, “alphorn retreat”?
Is that what they call extended-stay mental health facilities now?
What? Lola, are you saying that people in Fort Wayne, Indiana can’t enjoy skiing AND porn? I’d like to think that they weren’t mutually exclusive.
Indiana’s not known for its skiing, Mudsy. Hence my … disbelief.
You’ve never heard of dirt skiing, Lola?
It’s like skiing on snow, but there’s a greater chance that you will snag your ski on a rock or clump of grass, sending you tumbling like a rag doll down the side of a mountian until you come to rest at the bottom, a bruised sack of lacerated skin filled with splintered bones and perforated organs. Like a 100% chance.
Oh, believe it.
Warning: May contain lederhosen.
Wow. I need to visit the NE corner of the state more often I guess.
Anyone else think it would be awesome to have “Professor of Horn” as their title?
If I was the Professor of Horn, I would want people to call me that all the time. I’d introduce my self as Professor of Horn to random strangers on the street.
” Hi there! I’m Sara Jean, Professor of Horn.”
Best. Job Title. Ever.
To be able to dirt ski, don’t you still actually need something to ski DOWN? I may be misremembering, but what I recall of Indiana, it’s flatter than a [redacted]’s [redacted]!*
*I just had a “Respect in the Workplace” seminar inflicted upon me. Of course, that means I’m “taking offense to” almost everything my coworkers say 😉 But I still couldn’t bring myself to type the line-crossing phrase I thought of :-p
Yesterday it was John Denver, today Sonny Bono. Dodging the traffic on Memory Lane.
It was the lack of altitude, rather than fluffy precipitation that had me wondering.
I didn’t click. Lederhosen make me cry (and not in a good way).
Hey, you’re only missing me in leather, Lola.
IR: *mimblewhimble*
Lola: Indiana isn’t really known for it’s porn either. Meth, maybe but the porn is definitely circa 1972.
If we’re going to create portmanteaus (portmanteaux ???) to describe these boxes, could we at least be accurate, April? How about warptastic? Or mildewriffic? Maybe even overpricetine?
I’m going with hideotarded.
Freakariffically megaturdinous.
Lawyers have express authority to invent words.* I will take your submissions into consideration.
*This may not be true.
Had a guy try bragging he was going to law school the other day. Every single thing he said, he made ten times as long and complicated as it had to be, using random adjectives for things.
He said he didn’t like “common speakability”. He loved language and was “much more probative when it came to querying of my personage”. It technically makes sense, but seriously.
Not such a grasp on the true meaning of words, either. He said I was “ascerbictious”: meaning (to him) “blunt and to the point.”
Uhhh…I don’t think that means what you think it means…and it’s not even a word.
Sounds like Cap’n Mac’s evil twin.
Alex Trebek: What do you get when you sit on a cheap ball point pen.
Contestant:What is “ascerbictious”
No cookies for SJ!
But, i’m clearly irritlicious today
Meredith: “I do not think that word means what you think it means…”
Just kidding, Oh Cap’n my Cap’n.
You must admit, you do tend to veer into the obscure sometimes.
Well, Meredith, no one likes those kinds of lawyers…including other lawyers. I predict that in three years he won’t have any jobs lined up and won’t know why.
I can think of one job he might be able to get, but he better start practicing the phrase “Would you care to partakify of the fried potatoish substances this evening? They are most illuminanomous.” now.
Inconceivable!
Bridgete, you have confirmed my suspicions. Whenever we got summer associates of that ilk, they did not seem to return as first years … so it wasn’t just me.
In my case, they are more likely to ask for materials relating to the hairsplittingly dull details of a case and feign confusion as to whether it was one part of the law or another, so that I could be impressed with their knowledge. Usually, the general topic is fine, and then that’s what the indices are for, Sparky! I’m not going to know the precise page for that off of the top of my head!
That isn’t to say I don’t help them get to the real specifics right down to the page or section, but the overbearing, “I’m so smart” manner has me imagining bad things about them after they leave.
/reference librarian confession
Yeah, but Blue, it’s NOT a word…
Miss Lola a redhead AND a librarian? Truly an
embarassmeant of riches.
Sorry, “embarrassment”. Got flubberlusted.
I’m gonna say it before Lola gets here…
This is the embodiment of creeperifficness!
You’re welcome! I was thinking that, too (especially with them being just the right size for multiple dead hookers), and also thinking of a word that I made up years ago (I think, I haven’t found other sources for it, so it may be original) that’s better than gighugic: hugemantic. Also, if that is Mindfield’s tiller, they may also be kleptolicious, as in “Take things compulsively? Here’s where to store them!”
I haven’t heard “hugemantic” anywhere else, so I think you invented it. I’ll take that one into consideration as well. 😉
I swear I came up with confuzzled. I hadn’t heard it anywhere else when I first used it. But it became much more widespread than I’d expect if it really was my invention, so maybe not.
Thesaurus has a special section for these types of synonyms. It’s synonymous with NO! NADA! NUNCA! NEIN! NYET! MIERDA!
I’ll go with giggitytastic
Thank you, Quagmire!
A plethora of portmanteaus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVZ8Ko-nss4&feature=related
Okay, OT, but I have to get today’s ad ( —-> ) off my chest.
*picture of adorable 2 year old girl in a red dress*
Words posted on face of said child:
This is not a DOG [fade]
New words appear:
Don’t TRAIN her like one [fade]
Punchline appears (after camera pulls back and you see she’s sitting in the doorway of a dog house):
To learn how to live with children –>click here<–
Free booklet and online course.
Okay, I feel better now. I need coffee pie. Cut me a slice, wouldja'?
Hey, if the shock collar and liver snaps were good enough for me, they will be good enough for my hypothetical children!
bacon…bacon…bacon….bacon…
I’d give mine Beggin’ Strips. It might prepare her for her future career of dancing on a pole.
“hypothetical children”. I like that you use this phrase as well.
I also use “theoretical children” once and a while. Makes me feel smart.
All of my kids know how to sit, roll over, shake, and beg. I fail to see the problem.
Wait…it’s the way they catch a Frisbee with their mouths, isn’t it? 😉
Ah yes, but can Timmy find Lassie in the well?
Toss an iPhone with an unlimited texting plan in after her and Timmy would probably dig her out with a rusty butter knife.
You’re very snarkhugic today sj.
I predict a box in your future.
(box over there —>; not one that is mildewriffic and cluttered with lawn machines)
But if I don’t have one of these awefulsome boxes, where will I store
Mindfield’smy tiller?That’s mine tiller to go with your mine hors
Sounds pretty awesome to me.
As I have nothing to say about this example of sucking at CL, except it’s sucktacular, I am going to post this link in the hopes that Laurelhach, Dev, and all Dr.Who fans will look at it. It’s very silly. 8)
http://www.neatorama.com/neatogeek/2010/08/03/caption-contest-5/doctor-who-note/
It’s also borderline “massive”….
Depends. If you’ve seen bigger, it’s not so massive. About average.
Squeeeee!
Hahahaha, I lurrrves it. It was especially funny because one of my friends DID have an exterminator over at her house today.
*sigh*
I wish I could have been there…
Wow such a bargain! 3 wrecksquisite particle board boxes! For ONLY $175? And moving them won’t be a big problem either because they have wheels! I can just tie them together behind a pickup truck and play choo-choo train all the way home. Hey maybe I can even keep them that way and have a funky RV, with real funk inside!
I’m totally stealing wrecksquisite, Gemenon. I think that is a word that can be utilized in regard to future posts and their content, too.
drmk, when does the alcoholiday start? After being off last week, I’m not too into this work-all-week thing. I need a
drinkholiday.Someone’s gotta have da funk, why not you?
Remember to bring your best OBOs.
There’s a musical/dance revue called Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk but somehow I suspect this is not what they are referring to when they say “funk.” “Not this kind of janky funk, the other funk! The cool funk! Not stinky-dead-hobo funk! Besides, the wood is warped. How are you gonna tapdance on that?”
Lola, I don’t think they were made to tapdance on.. More likely its meant for breakdancing. Oh I broke through! OW I broke my skull!! Ouch I’ve got a million broken shards of wood sticking in my spine!
They used the tried and true method of pricing CraigsList items; they rolled a small child over it and counted the splinters.
Gemenon: Then according to sj, you’re worth a mega-gazillion CraigsList euro-llars!
Paint them red, stencil FREE CANDY on the side and tow them around the playground behind your generic white van…”Here kiddy, kiddy, kiddy”
Line crossed.
*creepy clown shivers*
Line not only crossed, line eradicated…
There are tiny ‘splody-bits of the line everywhere, forming the outline of a giant sea mammal.
Oh, the huge manatee.
Ugh, I don’t know if that’s better or worse than the van I posted about on Facebook on Saturday. 15-passenger van at a park with window marker on the side windows (at least it wasn’t a panel van!) saying “JOBS 4 TEENS 13-18 years old” and then a phone number. Really? Really?
I’m betting that van was a recruitment vehicle for one of the traveling sales scam artists (usually magazines but occasionally other stuff). I can’t find the really good article I read a while back but it followed a couple of the teens who got recruited into one of these.
Found the article (or at least one similar enough as makes no difference).
Place [corey] tags as needed. :p
That is chilling…
New haircut EB?
Yup 😀 After work yesterday, I chopped off 14″ to donate, and then most of the rest of it, and dyed the remainder red… and I love it 🙂
I bet that’s a lot less to fix up! I hated washing my hair when it was long, and it took forever to dry. The avatar looks great!
Thanks 🙂 It actually takes longer to get ready in the morning, because I used to just untangle my hair and put it in a messy bun. Now it’s so short I have to actually put goop in it, or else I’ll have a poof :-p My hair was sticking straight up when I woke up this morning. But it takes way less time to wash and dry, and it’s so worth it!
[materials corey] the sides of these carts are flake board, a material that is almost recycled content before use.
It has an unfortunate resemblance to a “real” construction sheet goods product called OSB. The difference being the flake board is similar to cardboard but without most of laminated-paper’s benefits or pluses.
Flake board is made of woodmill waste, bark, wane and the like, held together with a resin glue of no particular remark. In contrast OSB, Oriented Strand Board, is made of wood fibre of known strength and engineering characteristics, and laminated with an epoxy resin that is supposed to be a known level of waterproofness. (This last factor being the focus of numerous lawsuits.)
Harumph, but I’m feeling irritagrumpy today.
[/corey]
I’m feeling tersetudinous today….but I find myself having lots to say. The irony!!!
It is an ironific sort of day; almost ironotropic.
At least we’re all using perfectly cromulent words.
That’s it, prexactly!
I feel quite embiggened.
And I, snarksitpated; while also coreyaddicted.
Which is making me lexincognizant almost to erudiphobic.
Wonder if that makes me ensmalled.
[Matt] You guys are totally Grammagulating Englistics[/Matt]
[EnglisticMatt] HamCan, I am offenderated by your lack of understandimation. This is the ancient dialecanguage of the Ancient Sect of Portmannapia. Everyone knows that Englistics was birthed from this diverscrete and admirized civilizationture. Besides, my brother is Englistic, and he would be complelutely contragainst your charactatyping of Englistics. [/EnglisticMatt]
[rebutify Matt]You seem to have a bad Mattitude EcieBlue, I can’t understandimate your consternotion[/rebutify Matt]
I think it’s backlash from the “Don’t say anything that anyone else could take offense to!” seminar that was forced upon me earlier today. 😉
(Oh wait, I can’t wink, that might be *stage whisper* sexual harassment……)
Yeah, we had one of those a while back too. Now I pretty much can’t say anything at work anymore. 🙁
So, you guys get it all instead 😀
Oh, I doubt I’m going to actually change my behavior. I’m the only girl in a cube of guys, and they consider me “one of the guys.” I prefer it that way. Plus, they told us a few things that are generally considered no-nos for work discussions…. religion and politics. If the Pit (what we call our cube-area—and we’re the Pit Crew :-p) had to stop talking about religion and politics, we’d pretty much have to stop talking!
(The third thing to not talk about at work was sex—and since we all have spouses, there’s not really much to talk about there ;-))
Amazingly, those manuals seem to be enlarging in binder width dimension in proportion to the lack of “spine” in the language used.
Circumlocution is common in the genre; they have managed to take “sex” out of all the parts that need to be said aloud, and replacing that with “gender” even when inapt. Of late, I’ve seen some “buzz” where “they” would like to get the “s-word” out of the harassment phrase (and the squicky word there in the middle of haeassment, too). But, how else to say it? “Abuse of human intercourse relationships”? “Forced Exposure to Squickiness”? “Hormonal-mornic Behavior”?
My XO says we should label the manuals more accurately to just read “Abuse Preevention” so that she then does not add “Not including not embarrassing tissue-thin skinned prissy-babies.”
HamCan, we win in this situation. No sarcasm intended.
And Cap’n, I like “Forced Exposure to Squickiness” best. I vote it album name of the day.
County employees are required to take Sexual Herassment Training (no, not how to, how NOT to)every two years. It doesn’t seem to make a big difference. Lots of us still hug each other daily, squee when we pass in the hallway, talk about what they posted on Facebook, ask if they got any over the weekend, etc. Just one big happy family, if you are in to that sort of thing.
I’ll get my coat.
Sexual herassment – that’s what she said…
Not so much anymore. Was a pretty big recent case of female-on-male on an offshore rig.
It’s all a form of workplace abuse, and “any on any” is, as is rightfully so, not permitted.
OMG! So April doesn’t know the original purpose? It’s a BOX, hon. It holds things. Did she google “box on wheels” to get that studiculous price? It’s not even a pretty box and it’s damaged. However, if you can get my two year old to paint it for you then you might get the sticker price.
I have to say I enjoyed the hexagonal math of the boxes being long, tall and long again (all due apologies to Anne Elk [miss]).
Have to love the steel cart wheels Sparkie’s dad used to build the carts. Why people think that such are suitable for tailing on public motorways amuses me, in an confusomazed sort of way.
All I can think of is this would be so much fun for my 5 ferrets to play in. I could just cut the top off and fill it with dirt and they’d have a ball tunneling around in it being spastic. Something about dead hookers and rototillers previously used to help bury said dead hookers doesn’t sound like it would match anything in my living room though. This is a real bummer.
It’s so hard to accessorize dead hooker stains.
The boxes would make nice litter boxes. I could park one on the porch, dump in about a metric fuckton of litter, pop a couple of vents in the top, build a tunnel through one of my windows, and voila! I wouldn’t have to clean a litter box for at least a year, maybe two.
And I’m sure your neighbors would throw you a party.
Complete with torches and pitchforks.
They’re an old-fashioned bunch.
There is a lot to be said for tradition.
Really? I haven’t had any trouble so faaanevermind. Nothing, nothing to read here.
Cyth maybe you could get a psychopathic hobo all liquored up, hand him a chainsaw and some red paint and let him redecorate for you?
A badger would be cheaper; no unions and it takes less liquor to get them wasted.
Yes. Bucky Badger from the University of Wisconsin. I hear he likes beets and will work for cheese.
Gemenon, I think you mean psychobopathic 🙂
Picturing ferret-sized and ferret-adapted roto-tillers and subsequent mayhem ensuing . . .
$20 worth of particle board
$20 for caster wheels
$5 for screws
$10 an hour for 30 minutes (shoddy) work
Yes, I can see why it would be worth $175.
The flies it attracts: PRICELESS!
The math explained:
20+20 = 220+0 = 220
220+5 = 225
10*.5 = 50
225-50 = 175 <–(Not charging for labor, so it's subtracted)
There we go!
Labor is so over-rated when you’re dealing with this sort of quality.
I got to skip the whole labor thing, because I had to get an emergency cesarean. That ended up being more expensive than labor, so I see why you subtracted it.
Wait, what?
Love the new look EB….you MUST let me borrow your stylist!
I’m a huge fan of both the cartoonized version and the real version of my new hair 🙂
Is this the weedwhacker emo look?
They used the tried and true method of pricing CraigsList items; they rolled a small child over it and counted the splinters.
This, in the box, tomorrow.
The End.
Agreed. I think SJ was robbed yesterday.
AR, really? I think it was a draw. And since hourlt has never been in the box before, I wonder why, it made sense to go with the noob. Ahem. Or, at least, that’s what I think drmk thought.
I’m not saying hourlt didn’t deserve it, but I just thought SJ’s first comment was brilliamazing.
:blushes:
Thanks. I’d hate for The Box to become a competition, though. The beautious snark would suffer.
WON’T ANYONE PLEASE THINK OF THE
CHILDRENSNARK?!?[cipherin’ corey] Sparkie’s dad did spend some money, just look at the angle iron he had welded together that the 31 bucks-worth of flake-board is fastened to.
This is “salvage” from some factory or receiving dock. Dock dolly wheels, cut-down machine crate sides (note how nothing is bigger than 48″).
So, the dad invested a couple of clarinets and the odd alto bassoon, but you have to figure that there was what would be vintage beer involved, and that’s expensive stuff.
Especially if you (Sparkie in this case) think empty = “well all but a roto tiller and a bushel or six of random bottles, boxes, and stuff we were too tired to move since Hoarders was on”
[/corey]
Can we please create a YSaC dictionary? I’m in love with ‘alcoholiday’ (That’ll be any day ending in ‘y’, Lola?) and also partial to ‘wrecksquisite’ and Sparkess’s ‘gighugic’.
As for the containers why the fuck did she get them transported to her home and not straight to the local rubbish tip?
To this we should add:
asschapeau
assbeerbox
sparkcase
Derrieresombrero.
Yes, I did just make that up.
**begins work on YSaC dictionary**
Tell me what words to add. If you have a suggestion for how to word the definition, I’ll take that too.
Creeperificness
Thank you, Bridgete! I have been meaning to start this in the forum so that everyone could add and participate, but I haven’t even caught up with the don’t suck box, so I didn’t want to start another project. Hooray and thanks again!
Not a problem!
I totally didn’t think about the forums. I’ll go start a topic now. 🙂
Don’t forget “ottomangle” or “ottermangle” if you prefer the alternate speeling.
Bridgete you are a wonderful human being full of voluntspeediness and efficomposlisting abiliskills.
*great bottle of Rioja this one … was… shakes empty bottle and looks accusingly at orchid plant which is the only other obvious living thing in apartment that could have drunk the liquid!*
We will need “catulator” too, along with some other meme-related words, I believe.
Those orchids can be mean drunks, they’ll root-slap you over nothing.
Oh! Catulator and ottermangle/ottomangle! Thanks!
As for taking on the dictionary project, well, it’s only been 5 days of having no job and no studying to do and I’m already bored, so a little project is perfect for me right now.
Oh, about that job I interviewed for. Well, here’s the thing. They really liked me, they told me as much while rejecting me (lovely, right?). The problem was that they hoped they could “wing it” for the months between the bar exam and my hopefully positive results, but they ended up really needing someone with a license to practice. So, it’s time for me to head off to the land of retail (or restaurants) for a while. I’m still browsing job listings and keeping hope alive, but I also have to pay rent so I have to find something in the meantime.
Okay, back to the dictionary project!
Don’t forget to add the word “Preventional”. Also, “Corey”, “Massive Link*”, and “Shoulder Knees” might be beneficial.
*The CHS Marching Low Brass has a euphemism that is synonymous with Massive Link, and we’ve had it for a year today. The use of the phrase “Large Effort” to mean a Massive Link was coined by one of our instructors, of all people.
Haha, that’s awesome, especially considering this recent Cyanide and Happiness…
I included corey already, but preventional, massive link, and shoulder knees have been duly noted.
I gots 3!
Bananus – ba-NAY-nus –> the bottom “rectum looking part of a banana
Prostitot – PROS-ti-tot –> 12-year old girl who dresses like a stripper
Procrasturbating – pro-CRAS-tur-bay-ting –> masturbating instead of doing something productive
Lou, these are opposed to be YSaC words, not “Story of Lou’s Day” words.
It’s a YSaCtionary.
YSaC words have to start somewhere. Just sayin.
Oh! Yes! The YSaCtionary! I can’t believe this whole day I’ve been calling it the YSaC dictionary even though portmanteaux prompted the whole thing…
I have to admit, “alcoholiday” is not my invention, but it is my favorite portmanteau word.
It’s genius. And I want one.
Let’s make it on a Friday and that will give us a 3-day alcoholiday.
I’ll put up the tinsel and hook up the lawn decorations.
Don’t forget to fire up the grill.
It’s not a true alcoholiday without a fire hazard and some minor burns.
Yes, you’re so right sj! You know where I learned that? From Mr. Allstate himself—Dennis Haysbert.
I love his voice, I could listen to him blather on about safe driver discounts for hours.
Ooh, and being first means we get to be the pendants on this!
I was wrestling with a way to insure that the term could not be construed as a fast of sorts, or a forced episode of teetotaling.
As in “We’re off to happy hour, wanna come?” “No, had too much weekend and I’m on an alcoholiday.”
Or, we can leave it as is, to confuse and irritate the Sparkies out there, especially those who have to have the term “OED” explained (and each and every time at that, too).
To answer your question: $175 x 3
While totally overlooking: ($175×3)-wtf+o_O x(“pageviews”/”tiller”)/17xOBO-ewww(1000000)-posting fee=$5 and a dented can of beans if Mercury is in the sixth house, otherwise=SOLcubed
Darnit, this was supposed to be a reply to tigprincess
I want to mock, but I’ve been cleaning out my dad’s junk while he’s been in rehab (PHYSICAL rehab, people!) and there are containers in that man’s closet that I make my husband open because the stuff that’s just laying around is gross enough. (Seriously, who needs five twenty-pound bags of moth-infested birdseed in their bedroom?) So this is too close to home and all I can say is…I feel ya, Sparky April. I feel ya. And I suggest just setting a nice, gighugic bonfire and calling it cathartic.
I’d bring some KC masterpiece and call it a cathart-i-que
I’ve needed some cathartique of late; in the sense of hanging out around a low, slow fire, with 4-5 hands of 42 between fire-mindings for a long stretch of a day.
Baring that, the driving off to the really good Q joints, having to leave early so as to get to Thrall, or Taylor or Lochart before the run out of meat for the day. Then, that nice drive back with just the right mix of smelling like smoke and being full and camaraderie.
Or, something like heading to a river and tubing in the heat, then grabbing a chopped beef sammitch on the way home–good stuff.
42? Is that a Bourbon (opleaseopleaseoplease)? or The Meaning of Life,
the Universe and Everything?
Well, it is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
But, in this sense, it is meant as quintessential game using double-six dominoes.
I’m sufficiently pack-ratish that I’m sure someone will curse my name when they have to clean up my stuff. I’m trying to get a handle on it, but I have the unfortunate tendency to look at something, ask myself what on EARTH it was, and then go, “Oh, yeah, that might be useful someday,” and keep it.
I do not have moth-infested birdseed but I do have three bags of shredded bark in my backyard that never got used because I decided to put in ground cover around my roses instead. I should really go spread that somewhere.
I’m the worse sort of pack rat, I’ll pick up any shiny that catches my attention. But the worse was…
[cleaning corey] …when my sister bought the house they currently live in; the previous owner had died suddenly and it had sat empty for quite some time before she actually purchased it. Food had been left in the cabinets, clothes were left in the closet, there was random stuff everywhere.(including the ashes of three pets and a cozy pile of cat droppings in a closet)The woman’s daughter had gone through and taken most of the good furniture and whatever valuables there were and left the rest, with one exception. The woman had been living with a girlfriend (yes, that sort of “girlfriend”)and all of the girlfriend’s possessions (including the mattress in the master bedroom) were taken out into the back yard and burned, leaving a large scorched-black place where you can still find random buttons and jewelry bits if you poke around. That kitchen was possibly the vilest thing I have ever seen, even after we had the fridge hauled off. And while I was sitting on the couch taking a break, I heard a scream from another room where my nephew was helping move things around and saw a pair of mice run out of the door and down the hall.[/cleaning corey]
I still have Halloween Candy from about five years ago in my closet. Found it this morning while looking for my crazy hat (it was crazy hat day at Band Camp.)
Perhaps because we’ve both dealt with extreme horders in the past, my husband and I take quarterly trips to the Goodwill and the dump. Granted, our house looks more like a modern art museum than a living space, but at least our hypothetical kids (yes, we use that term too) won’t have to deal with dog food from the Regan era.
I married a pack rat. I am a pack rat. I went through the cleaning out my mom’s junk 15 years ago, then repeated a few years ago with Mike’s grandma. Sorry, the kids are going to have so much fun looking at the stuffed animals (I still have my very first doll), the books, the old jewelry, all of it under a pile of bird seed and feathers. 8) To them I say, You’re Welcome!
I find it ironic that my family has a universal accusation of “Clutter!” when ever they see each others’ houses.
Now, since I live a life uncluttered by spouse or offspring, I get to “play” with my stuff more often. I also get to leave it where it lays when interrupted, too. This makes for a less-than neat domicile, but, it’s not a “Hoarders” disaster area.
My present worst sin will be periodicals, there are several just need policing up and stuffing into proper boxes and sleeves. That, and there are the ones that are not off to recycling as they have some collector value00they just have not made it to organized for sale or a trip to Half-Price Books yet.
Oh well, I can cope with kettles making spurious declarations of hue.
I took a look at some pics of my paternal grandmother’s house and walked around my dad’s office the other day and figured this MUST be something coded in my genes because I sure didn’t learn “stack stuff everywhere and keep things that might someday be useful again” from my mother. She always kept the house very neat and encouraged me to clean up.
I’m dreaming of a Gighugic Storage Thingy
Just like the ones that Sparky has
Where the three tops cave in,
and children come in
To get free candy to go
I’m dreaming of a Gighugic Storage Thingy
With every hooker I lock up tight
May your dreams be scary and a fright
And may all your storage boxes be a blight
That was so beautifully it almost doesn’t feel like it’s 105 here. Now I want a gighugic red bow to put on top of one of these storage thingies. Nothing says Merry Christmas in August like mummified hobos and dead hooker stains. The bow makes it calassay!
Gah! Can’t edit from phone. Beautifully festive, not just beautifully.
*sigh* I’m speeltastic today.
I think you meant speelspastic Manda.
Yes, and that too.
I think drmk’s words in the post should be included too, they’re pretty awetastic!
Did dad’s doctor mention something about his illness having to do with vapors caused by mildewy particle board?
Just a wild guess.
oh… fiddle-dee-dee Bianchi…he only gets “the vapors” when mildewy particle board ISN’T involved.
*as an aside, I’ve always thought that “mildew” was one of those words that sounds all butterflies-and-fairies and doesn’t fit its namesake one bit (I mean, “dew” conjures up visions of misty mornings and highland meadows—so how horrific could the prefix “mil” be?). Now, on the other hand, the word “puce” is hellaperfectably appropriate.
Here and I always thought it was totally appropriate that a mill’s products, mixed with water vapor (water wheels always making some mist), would create a specific kind of “dew.”
But, I’ve had to cope with the varying senses and spellings of mold and mould for a long time (and pulled down some moldy moulding too).
[Waking up on the ground corey] I think Military Specification Dew. Mil-Dew. The kind you get from week-long “orientation classes” in the Not so Great Outdoors. [/ Aaiiee!?! What crawled in here with me?!?]
LoL!
That would be:
Fungi, Mycocenic, Spores, indigenous, inhaled irritant to personnel, numerous (probably with a StaNag and NSN number by now, but I’m not looking them up)
probably also an entry for:
Aroma, unpleasant, mycocegenic, per colony
Uh-oh, hourlt is in the box. I am almost positive we won’t see that poster again soon. Oh well, rules be rules, and I’ll be back to punch tonight.
Italics testing post
Try <em> and </em>
I like em and ems
Fail. Abort, Retry, Firefox?
Unless someone owns up to being hourlt.
*looks at IP addresses, nods wisely*
Oooh, you know, but you’re not telling! Sneaky.
It’s Depressy! Yes, Depressy did hourlt post! Give Depressy punch or face CERTAIN PERIL!
Depressy’s back?!?!?
*empties flask in record time*
Still here! [alternate login Corey] Just give my punches to Lou. He’s such a handsome fellow. [alternate login Corey]
Although, I gotta tell you, I’m sure glad the “don’t suck” box isn’t a gighugic storage thingy. If it was, they’re be no more funny coming from this guy!
Ah, you sneaky little snearkist*.
*Portmanteau of snarky, artist, and sneak.
The Village Idiot People
Sparky, there’s no need to dress like a clown.
I said, Sparky, the wheels get it up off the ground.
I said, Sparky, ’cause you got a new home now
There’s no need to feel up the nanny.
Sparky, here’s a place you can go.
I said, Sparky, cuz you’re short on brain power.
You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
Many dead hookers inside.
It’s fun to stay in the OSB* Box.
It’s fun to stay in the OSB Box.
They have everything that you need to entrap,
You can hang out with all the little boys …
It’s fun to stay in the OSB Box.
It’s fun to stay in the OSB Box.
*[Home Depot Corey]
For those that don’t know OSB=Oriented strand board, which is what the Gigtastic boxes are made from.
[/Home Depot Corey}
Haha, I just realized I can help out here! You dropped this: [ ] ← </em> 🙂
It didn’t work, but my comment isn’t italicized… weird…
I know it did strange things, the entire site is now italicized for me, the is actually there before the Corey comment.
hehe
Lola, I broke YSaC this time and not just the style sheet!
Punish me again?
is meant to go after the comma.
LOL, you can’t type out the close italics even with spaces…
It’s actually the squirrelly bracket instead of the square bracket at the end of the Corey that’s causing it, so Corey broke it not me!
Pulls on hipboots …
Gladly, HamCan! It’s a little slow at work today. 8)
Baaaaaaaaaaaa!!
What?
Fixed.
Those mad editing skillz come in handy.
Hackertastic!!!!
Thanks, IF.
Fess up, IF, you’re really Morgan Freeman, aren’t you?
HamCan: Guess what happened this morning at Band Camp? Bobby (the color guard instructor) was in charge of the morning stretching today. Guess what we did? “Cheater Push-Ups” (you start sitting up with your arms and then go down to the side, then back up and over to the other side) and Pliés (which made my thighs shake) to the YMCA song.
Gargh.
On the bright side, it’s only day three, and we have 8 pages of drill set (about half the intro) and I have about 2/5 of my music memorized.
They’re ironing boards!
Agh, attack of the non-closed italics tag!
Hammy broke it!
close italics!
Did it help? Maybe?
Nope…hmm…
Maybe an </i>?
Edit: Or not. Maybe I should try all of the close italics I can think of…
Words.
another italics testing post
Freaky. Everything below Hammy’s post and the sidebar stuff is italicized.
This is what is known in the computer programming world as a “feature”
see if this fixes it
{/home depot Corey]
TaDa 😀
I didn’t go to all those dam programming classes for nothing!
Hammy, how do you program a dam? Does it let water over the edge between two and six? Does it raise or lower itself with the amount of rainfall? Does it wait until a whole busload of tourists are right at that highest point, and then collapse?
It’s very similar to programming an early 80’s Betamax VCR.
12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00
12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00
dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam
dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam
[dam corey] Having spent too much time among civil engineers, dams (water retention structures to use the CE argot) are very much “programmed” in that all the aspects have to be ciphered in a matrix of want/desires/limitations.
Amount of water in a given watershed; the pitch of that watershed; confining topography; the geology; if a required water volume or reservoir depth is required. Then, you plug in the historical things, like largest flood volume/duration; greatest drought, and so on.
You have to know all this for the water diversion while the dam is built, and then to know the height and width of the spillway, along with potential GPS (gallons per second) flow over the spillway. These numbers also help determine the size and number of the outflow intakes and such.
Thousands of man-hours are involved–what a pack of beavers can do in a single season (although, it only takes a 5-year flood to wipe out a beaver colony).
[/corey]
Now, the germans have some “free range” agricultural pen/gate equipment so that one might select which sires are available to which dams, but that’s a different thing altogether . . . {G}
Oh dear. I think the this the first time that I’ve been completely unable to keep my giggles actually inside me at work. The VCR… Oh dear. I was shaking at my desk and trying to avoid snorting into my fist. A door for you, HamCan!
Wow, whole page seems “broke” for italics.
this is a test of “backwards” use, i.e., </em> text <em>
Which did not work at all.
Which makes me tagannoyed.
Except it did, just not the way i expected here on edit 3
Cool, closed [em] and the post is normal, the title and such are italic
Refreshed, and nothing is italic any more (other than the meant to be). Yay.
And now we all look insane :-p
But, that can occur on many days ending in “y” here (or, at least the last 747 days or so).
True story.
Don’t we always look insane?
Only the mad are truly sane in this crazy world…
“If we weren’t all crazy…”
Well, then we’d just go insane 🙂
But who would notice?
Jimmy Buffett would… But only if it was 5 o’clock.
Mmmm, I like Buffets. Especially those babby corn things.
Hey, bubba understands waking up and looking for a salt shaker, too. (And running into a chum with a bottle of rhum and drinking all night, too,)
It’s Alan Jackson who recorded the song JB helped make famous.
But, in all fairness, I been in the Spring Atchalfaya in parrothead attire at lunchtime, too. (Is it bad when the bartender apologies that the slurpy-mix machine is broken, and would we mind top shelf on the the rocks instead, and our reaction was to try and find said worthy a ticket to the show there in the Woodlands?)
*blink* Capn’, was that last paragraph in English? Maybe you’ve been at that bottle of rhum :-p
Nah, too terse, really.
one of the northern ring-city/suburbs of Houston is the town of Spring, Texas. In said city is a restaurant, Atchalafaya, a cajun/creole chain operation. Near Spring is the outdoor concert venue Cynthia Mitchell Woods Ampitheater, which is n the township the Woods family created in south Montgomery County, called “The Woodlands.”
Because CMWA is outdoors and has both covered fixed seating and uncovered “festival” seating out on the lawn, it was the ideal/preferred venue when Mr Buffett would visit.
Sadly, Mr Buffett only gets booked into Minutemaid park anymore, and the cheap seats there are even more outrageous than the lawn tickets at MGM in Vegas.
And, if one orders frozen margaritas in most restaurants, they have a “slushy machine” that mixes flavors and ice together to create one’s beverage. If the machine breaks, it is truly a wonderful thing when the bartender offers the loudly-clad folks ‘top shelf’ hand-mixed margaritas on the rocks instead of frozen. (I want to remember we were offered the choice of Herradura Añejo or Sauza Reposado–which required care as our DD would stare daggers at us as she sipped a virgin Mary.)
[sigh] it’s the future–3 years & 4 days’ worth–and, it’s a Sunday; hot outside; and I want it to be a day with a pitcher of margaritas and heading out to a lawn-clad venue to sing along with Bubba. That, instead of being unemployed, broke, cinderfella, living life only vicariously via the intertubes, and then only at others’ let.
Damn it, can’t I leave you kids alone for just one second without you breaking the whole website?
*points vaguely*
I blame them.
Tattlek!
Must have been Laurel, she’s so quick to point a finger! Er, what do Daleks have instead of fingers? Yeah, one of those.
“Dalek bumps!!”*
*(c) Dr Who 1999 Comic Relief spoof with Joanna Lumley, Hugh Grant, Richard E Grant, Julia Sawalha and Rowan Atkinson, among others.
*Looks around randomly while whistling a snarktacularly whittypantsicle tune*
Mmm, whittypantsicles, my favorite flavor!
Whooohooo!
This is why we can’t have nice things! We’re stuck with the sucktabulous and the bizarremazing.
Wasn’t Sucktabulous a Roman Emperor?
I think he played the oboe while Rome was destroyed by a gighugic couch snake.
Hi B86! Our drill needs to be rewritten, but today I’m A10!
That is a silly hat, but where is the euphonium?
It is out of frame because Gravatar requires square images.
Also, I don’t get a Euph till next year, ’cause I’m an underclassman, so I have a Baritone.
*hides*
Don’t look at me, I was off having my alcoholiday!
Which is causing me to ponder idylbeveragication
These are just butimous*.
*This is the word my Band Director likes to use to describe a sound which is, as my middle school Band Director would have said, “Big, Fat, and Hairy.” I think Big, Fat, and Hairy are three adjectives that might not be out of place in describing this… thing.
“alcoholiday” = any day you wake up in Louisiana. And my new favorite word.
“gighugic” Hmm, is this 1024 megahuges? Wait, that would be gigahugic (and require that Sparkies can speel; or cogitate).
Hmm, “to gig” is to fish with a tined pole or rod. Kind of thing one does while poling a bateau on the bayoues. A person giging huge could tip the boat over. And if you use a huge gig it could wear a person out heaving at the maritime food items.
Ok, I got nothing. Guess that makes be speculspent.
If your mower/motorcycle/rug shampooer/whatever that is is already in the garage, why does it need the gighugic plywood box? Is it going to break into your house and mow/shampoo all over the place if you don’t provide that extra layer of security?
In news related to a post the other day, I give you the Facebook status of one of my friends:
I commented on said status with the following:
Astro forgot to close his italics tag. Will my comment be italicized?
Edit: Nope. Good job not breaking the whole website like HamCan did!
Thanks. I try.
I42, G56, N3, O28, B86
Astro BINGO!!!
I don’t do anything half wa!
Doors and <3s for Astro!
Okay, Lou or hourlt, or whoever you really are, here it comes! Punchity punch punch!
G’Night, Latin America!
sucktackular? succkerific???
Eek, spambot!
Disturbasuckorific!
Woohoo! Stupid spam!!!
“Our 10,000 plus sites get 5,000,000 hits a day” – so, each site sets like 500 hits a day? I’m no super-web-genius, but that seems on the low side. YSaC must get heaps more than that, and I don’t see her Holy Llamanunness and His Ostrimuness lounging on a Carribbean island sipping exotic drinks out of solid platinum goblets.
“Only thing required is you and your own cam” – that is two things. Also, you presumably require a complete divesting of dignity and clothes, so “no shame” would be an implicit requirement.
Yeah, I’m bored today.
I really can’t believe that no one caught the glaring catmath in the commentary…!!
Original ad: “I do not know what you may want to use it for but be creative I’m sure you can think of something! I have 3 containers in total I am posting them for 175$ OBO each. (I only have one empty so far)”
Commentary: “Let’s leave aside the (high) likelihood of finding the dead bodies of hookers in the other three storage units April hasn’t gotten around to cleaning out yet.”
Sorry, that just tickled my funny bone! And, you know, reassured me a bit that there isn’t some sort of floopy-disc-nomming ‘bot posting all of this. *grins*
Gighugic Storage Thingy was my failed They Might Be Giants/The Things mashup band. Our musical career was failtacucrap.
You should plan a returnorama!
“Craptacular” is now my new favorite buzz word. I envision using it about every 37 minutes in a normal day, and at least every 15 minutes on weekends. Thanks YSaC etymologists for expanding my world…. P.S. Today is my mother’s 88th birthday. Happy birthday, Mom!!!!!
Hey, my dad was 88 in May! He’s single, has a steady income, and just broke up with his girlfriend when she took a job cleaning a rich family’s house.
I have this strange feeling like I’ve posted here before…Deja teau?
Have you ever had that strange, eerie sensation called Vuja De..?..it’s like absolutely none of this has ever happened before. It’s especially bad when it occurs at work….Hey Windy!!!…I bet my Mom knows your dad…all those old folks got acquainted during WWWWWWWII. Best wishes to him….
Who are you again?
Who, me??? Nobody…
Me, Hammy, nojazzy! Congrats on making the Saturday Crew! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Reduxinnarow!