Here’s some more leveraging of synergy:
small bag 18 mo girls
Must pick up. No calls or pics. Thanks!
Hmm.. well, OK, someone might have a reason to buy a bag of infants. But what could they possibly KEEP them in?
Empty baby jars
I have over 25 empty baby jars. If you are interested please make me an offer.
Thanks
Oh. Well, there you are then.
Thanks for the posts, Thomas and Aimee!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
| WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition. […] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at… | |
| 2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all! […] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […] | |
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| Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring. I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere… |
My baby’s crying used to wake me up at night, but now that I’ve got the new Baby Jar I can get a full nights sleep! With its patented jar technology the Baby Jar keeps your baby sealed safely away in a light cloud of chloroform.
Thank you Baby Jar! Now baby and me get a good nights sleep!
Somehow, I can’t see TacoMama agreeing to this plan. 8)
Actually, I think he’s got it backward. The BabyJar is strapped to the parent’s face and they are chloroformed for a good night’s sleep. Note: it is not recommended that both parents/caregivers use the BabyJar simultaneously.
Nobody puts Baby in a jar!
Nobody puts Baby in a jar in the corner!
No, but Eleanor Rigby wears her face that she keeps in a jar by the door.*
*I thought, as a kid, that this was weird.**
**Still do.
Who is it for?
All the lonely people…
Where do they all come from?
The empty baby jars, I mean.
All the ornery people, mayhaps?
It’s the darning socks, you know. (Who better to divine the fate of un-paired hosery than Fr. MacKenzie?)
Now, I need to pound the very bad (if very energetic) marching band rendition of E. Rigby out of m’ puir noggin; ane braw’ porridge a thing me tam-holder be t’eve.
But Marching Band is life.
We had our first Spring Practice today.
This came along with a Spring Run-Through.
It was a hilarious disaster of MOSTE EPICKE PROPORTIONS.
But Marching Band is life.
Yeah, just ask “these 12 files & 26 ranks”*
However they have never attempted to replace violins with saxophones in 1:4 ballads either.
_________
*That’s a student-led band; no directors on ladders, no drill or flag units, either–all of it 6 to 5 as well.
I will trade my bag of baby girls for your 25 jars. Wait, I need the jars to preserve the girls! This is like that story, Gift of the Magi. Only, not so sweet.
my mind immediatly went to so that’s what meat gerberts are made of … then I felt ill
😡
Meat gerberts are made from people, PEOPLE!
(Sweet, sweet tasty people.)
Well, at least the Chinese takeout places aren’t using cats anymore.
I heard that the Smuckers people are! Each babby they preserve contains a jam packed jar of love!
Wooo im famous… back to craislist
me too! yay for YSAC synergy.
Help! I’ll need 8 small jars and 6 larger jars.
Regards,
Nadya
I can’t help reading the second one as though it is a personals ad. “I have 25 empty baby food jars. Let me know if you’re interested. I also like long walks on the beach, hard to see art, and making furniture from barnyard animals.”
Perhaps it’s the 2 hours of sleep last night, but the cheeseball voice just won’t get out of my head.
“Lets see. I’m a ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER!!! by trade. My sign is meat gerbert, and I was born in the year of the not.a.lion. I like to make craigslist ads and write down the license plate numbers of passing girls in my free time.
During my dream date I would pick you up in my truck full of bees and take you to a grate restaurant. After dinner we’d head back to my place and swing on the animal carcass jungle gym for a while. Then we’d wind down the night playing with my dogs…
ALL HAIL HYPNO DOGS!
“You had me at truck full of bees.”
I believe that the culmination of all of your dream dates would involve winding down with poker playing dogs, Topper and Bacontini.
And I thought nobody understood me.
*Snif*
It’s times like this I’m glad I have stalkers.
In Soviet Russia, stalkers have you!
How right you are, Mudslicker. How right you are.
Ooh. *massive hugs*
Good to see you Trouble!
small (old) bag, 18 mo (Missouri) girls
Sounds like the guy is sellin’ his pimpin’ bizzniz to me…
Cashier at the Babby Store: Bags or jars?
In Soviet Russia, jars bag you!
In Soviet Canada, bag jars you! (Not totally sure what that would be, but it sounds funnier and more painful than Taco’s version. However, he beat me to Russia, so I had to take Canada, so he wins on that count automatically)
In Soviet Russia, you can see Sarah’s back porch.
Have no idea what this has to do with babby bags or Gerbert jars.
*do NOT want to see Sarah’s back porch, front porch, or tea bag*
You Sir, Win ONE FREE INTERNET!
Russia trumps Canada, Canada trumps Haiti, Haiti trumps Detroit, Detroit trumps Sri Lanka, and very soon, Sri Lanka will trump the Philippines*! 8)
*none or all of this may be true
Does anyone know the bag limit on 18 month old girls in Wisconsin? I’ve got this new…
Nope, not gonna finish that joke, it gets extremely inappropriate rather fast. Instead I leave you with this:
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Why the long face?”
The horse replies, “Holy crap, a talking bartender!”
Why do I feel like there is a Packers punchline just waiting to happen in conjunction with “the joke that will not be finished”???
Nope, much worse than that.
Taco, you’re a muffin?
Biggie Smalls bags 18 mo’ girls…he be rollin’, y’all be hatin’…
I think we should get the empty baby jar seller together with the eBay haunted doll seller…oooh, the possibilities….
I don’t see what’s wrong with that first ad. I mean, it’s not like they’re offering a *large* bag. Now that would just be criminal.
I tried to pick up the small bag 18 mo girls. When I got there it turned out to be a medium bag 17 mo boys. F*#king craigslist…
Yeah, and could you actually pick it up? With one hand, or did it take two? Should you have brought along a dolly (not a possessed one) or a forklift? It’s these kind of vagaries and outright lies that are the scourge of craigslist. That, and misspellings.
Oh, SQUEEEE! Punch me, please!
And where, pray tell, does a feline acquire such a fine hat?
And don’t say “craigslist.”
Ebay.
I think not.a.lion got it at Target.
Not.a.Lion at Not.a.Target = Food Tiger or Walmart.
How about Kroger or Hairless Tweeter? ‘Round these here parts, they tend to stock hats like that ’round them holi-days.
Harrod’s, obviously, where those of breeding send their staff to shop (or poor Richard, if no staff handy). One must have standards, one must.
I had a standard once, but the clutch went out…..
I’ve lowered them since then – I got a low-rider standards!
“Oh, SQUEEEE! Punch me, please!”
Wait for it!
On an unrelated note:
I finally burst through my writer’s block on my Seuss project! I posted a double pair of stanzas as an update for those interested.
Emerging from the woods
Tweek this pretty please….it’s off meter.
Love your Seussaco so far!
It’s adorable and I’m shivery with excitement on what will come next. When do the zombies show up?
Yeah, that’s one of the spots I wasn’t quite happy with. I’ve got it earmarked for change.
Does:
And out from the woods
Strike closer to meter? It feels better to me, but I don’t really do meter readings so well.
Much better.
🙂
If that line made your brain halt up… you’ll hate the sign. I wanted to change up the meter a lot for the sign, but it makes my brain freeze up and reboot whenever I get to it. It’s one of the places I may just redo entirely.
Empty Baby Jars totally sounds like one of those new-age hippie lovechild folksy bands that soliloquise about their existential conundrums.
How about “Baby Filled Jars”?
“Baby-filled jars” sounds like a display room at the Mutter Museum. Subtitle: “How is babby deformed?”
http://www.collphyphil.org/MUTTER.ASP
*gets coat*
Followed by The Goo Goo Dolls?
I could probably make some dough pitching these to our drumline. They have a shirt which says upon it “Drummers Eat Babies”. And we could use some 18 month old girls to be thrown at us on cue during the show. Then maybe other people will begin throwing their babies at us.
Huh, you learn something every day. Whenever I heard people assuring me that “Oh, band kids are only in it for the babes”, I assumed they meant babes in an ‘attractive specimens of your preferred gender’ way, rather than babes in a ‘mewling, puking infants’ kind of way.
The moral of the story: Believe half of what you hear, and none of what you read.
Best known for their timeless ballad “Where Did All The Small Bags Go?”
And their cover of Tennessee Ernie Ford hits – especially,
“(You load) 25 empties, and what’a ya get?
A bag of randy ferrets and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter, don’t ya call me, ‘cuz I can’t go-
I owe my soul to the babby bag sto’ ”
Do you perchance watch a show named The Big Bang Theory on CBS?
Astro – tried ‘Big Bang Theory’ a couple of times and just couldn’t get into it at all – why do you ask?
As the former President once said, “Edjicate me.”
Bazinga!
Astro, the scene with sleep-deprived Sheldon in the ball pit is one of my faves of all time.
So glad you’re back HHNF – you’ve been missed!
A sharp salesperson would include this pamphlet with the offer: Five Uses for Empty Baby Food Jars……
6. Store spare baby parts while keeping them fresh!
7. Perfect for Gerberts Moonshine
8. “Sample” jar for either Probation or Doctor appointments (Prunes or Apple juice jars work best!)
10. Noah’s Ark diaramas
9. Molotov Bacon cocktails
Wait, isn’t 18 months ‘toddler’ and not ‘babby’?
Perhaps that’s why Sparky 2 has all the jars, babby has outgrown them all?
I have to admit that my experience with infants being limited to having them sent to me at 18-19 in uniform with the rudiments of basic skills at least partially instilled. (Oh, and some niece/nephew time, but that mostly resisting Bill Engvall’s advise to give them a shake and return them to their parents.)
18 mo?
Wonder if “mo” is a unit of volume, or of currency?
Pretty sure it’s not M0, the base capitalization of a society’s banks.
Hmm, wonder if it’s a unit of capacity of specie currency?
So, a person is off in the Viceregency of Sofrita and a mo is whittled from solid coprolaxia, but is worth eleventy Ri of flax seed hulls, so the Mo is about a foot around and a third of a gallon in volume or the like.
Sparky could be on to something here (if entirely by accident).
Ok, stream-of-consciousness here.
What if “mo” are babby food-jar lids?
It would be a significant form of art-n-crafts currency. Just the sort of thing a person with out-grown, lidless, babby food jars might need.
Capn … just wondering … what are your caffeine/other stimulant intake levels like today?
Serum stimulant level probably not so significant as the chemistry of aches and pains–agonal biochemistry making cat-calculus a snap
Ouch; snap poor choice of words in present poverty.
“Agonal biochemistry” explains a lot.
Snap is apt, followed by crackle and pop for me…an dno, I’m not eating vintage cereals.
Sigh…not to steal yer thunder, Capn, but lately it’s not the severely effed neck that’s got me reeling, but the severly effed gallbladder…OMG…anyone else ever been attacked by the li’l bugger? Steel helmeted li’l bastids pouncing on my innards wearing metal cleats…they’ve also brought along their friend, Ralph…holy crap!
CJ, hie thyself to the Internist and lay about them on the topic of Cholecystectomy.
The persons I know who have been through this uniformly report quality of life improvements almost beyond measure.
Capn…am doing so as fast as possible….seriously, just started with this 8 days, 12 hrs, 47 min, and 34, 35, 36 sec..ago, but who’s counting?
Completely asymptomatic until the above date, and then BAM! Now getting surgery lined up after the scan…praying for next week.
Until then, my best friends are Messrs Vicodin and Zofran…gotta love modern chemistry.
No mo’.
*asplode*
Capn, I truly thought your conciousness streamed like this all the time. Sometimes, when reading your comments, I feel as if:
1) I’m in a small row boat drifting down a meandering river.
2) I’m in a raft hurtling down a river through Class 5 rapids.
3) I’m in a submarine looking through a periscope.
But wherever I am, if I stick with it, the light dawns and the view is grand! 🙂
Ah, if only that illumination would be less train-in-tunnel-coming-right-at-me
En examplium gratis, this woke me up early this morning:
Burn Burn
Churn Churn
I wax in guise poetic
Merle Merle
Earle Earle
My rhyme, meter, not copacetic
Boggle Boggle
Haggle Haggle
Expresseions not concordant;
So, in like frame
No more to say,
I wane.
Now, if only babby mo were a sack full of ownerless c-notes on my front step . . .
*Tacosplode?*
¿estalle del taco otra vez?”
[gets dustbin and broom]
Great band name. Alt-country, perhaps?
Tonight at the 40 Watt: Ownerless C-Notes, with special guest Agonal Biochemistry.
“This evening’s entertainment is Capn-approved.”
Now that I come back to thinking about it, “ownerless c-notes” reminds me of the line from O Brother, Where Art Thou?: “Friend, your folding money is coming unstole.”
I want to remember that line as “un-stowed” (the terminal “d” being elided in classical deep-south fashion) but, I could be applying a lifetime of hearing (and using) lading argot and jargon, too.
Capn, you may well be right – my Yankee/landlubber ears may not have caught the subtlety. I think either case could qualify as ownerless c-notes.
M. Igor?
I. Yes, Master.
M. Our little P.Dolly has a craving for a sammich, fetch a jar of babby.
I. But master, we’re out of babby.
M. Then run to the inconvenience store and get more.
I. With what money master?
M. Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you sell that old table, I never liked it anyway.
I. Somebody took it.
M. Damn peasants. How about those silly chicken stachues you always play with?
I. Gone.
M. Worm quilts?
I. Soiled.
M. My sheep throne?
I. Never existed.
M. Misjay?
I. She left with non-existent sheep throne.
M. Lionel?
I. A cheeseless head, the gerberts got to him.
M. Igor, she’s starting to get angry… …any honey left in the truck?
I. No.
M. You’d better go see what you can carve off the swingset then.
Should I be worried that this makes perfect sense?????
Only if you have not been drinking…..
Heavily.
And remembering that only we are allowed to haze the Delta pledges that way . . .
Oh deer, Spacebug!
This is OT, but I just wanted to tell you all that I commissioned an artwork from Silva Noir. It arrived yesterday and as you might guess, it’s really incredible. I’m giving it as a gift and I have a feeling it’s going to go over really well. 🙂
Awesome…our Silva is very talented indeed. I proudly wear my Not.A.Lion and CatMath t-shirts every chance I get.
drmk and dan have created, however inadvertently, a great community here if we have people who are able to do that for each other. (I wish I had the money.) Wow (and I mean that sincerely).
It is great what drmk and dan have created. I didn’t mean to make it sound like such a huge deal though; I mean, Silva didn’t do a mural across my living room wall or anything :). She did a lovely little watercolor in a theme that means a lot to my giftee and me. I am really glad that YSaC put me in contact with her so that I could give a thoughtful gift.
I’m not sure I’m prepared to make a serious investment like a small bag of children without pics. They may be defective. How am I supposed to know if they’ll double as doorstops, paper weights and filing cabinets?
Well, we have to assume (with the risks that entails) that Sparky meant “pics” as a diminutive of “pictures.”
But note that Sparky has conjoined “calls” to this negation.
If we can’t make a “call” or a “pick” this might be a sack of “numbers” lifted from a runner of illegal lotteries.
Or some form of illiterate OTB gaming scheme.
Bonchance, l’enfantes d’Atlantic City?
Cap’n, Go to Jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 100 vintage cereals.
BRAINSTORM!!!
Two Words, My friends:
YSaC Monopoly
I call being the unblubler!
Instead of notes, can we have different barter values?
“You want my red table? Ok, give me two boxes of vintage cereals and some of your truck-bees and it’s yours for free. OORRR, if you buy the eight-sided-six-sided Topper as well, I’ll only charge you one terrifying Depressy the Clown mug and an indistinct number of my neighbour’s cats, coloured by Schrodinger himself! How’s that for a deal?!?!”
I want the “Art That is Hard to See” marker! Either that or anything with a minty shell.
Don’t give me anything shiny, though, or…. or…, umm… “Look everybody, there’s an elaphant!”
I’d like to be the winter bagel. And I’ll trade you some explorers for some of your bees!
Now, if Hasbro were not so expensive about use of their product [sigh]; or had legal beagles bent on sniffing out any lucrative sub-versions of their product.
And we’d have to have a warship to go with the minty shell. And last to pick gets stuck with the ottom.
Jey, we could replace “jail” with “Shiney Thing” al lthe better to achieve that ellusive “26% difference.” Catmath banking (and bank notes) would help, too. They could even be Mo. So there could be 5 salmon treat Mo; 11 twist-tie-toy Mo; 1e5 black formal suit on bed Mo . . .
Ooh! Ooh! I can envision the cat-math catulations already!
Mudsy: “Taco, you landed on my old-timey couch space. There are two hotels and 6-drawer dresser on it, so the rent is…. *whips out catulator, fresh kibble, punches keys like mad…*elebenty bazillion empty babby food jars”
Taco: “No way – I got a truck covered with bees, so I get a BIG discount! I think you owe me for landing there and I get another free roll.” *Grabs dice and rolls double elaphants* “Look at the trunk on those!”
MandaB: “Ha! – now you’ve landed on my monkey. That means you can’t use your Tacobox to get a free one.”
Taco: “But my tacobox is stuffed – it ought to be good for something?” I want Lola to loan me her red table to trade for boy-band posters that I can get for free. *picks up catulator and inputs ((free red table ($35.00)-limp Bacontini) times van with no reverse + freezer/filecabinet(locking)*sheep throne = ?? *Gently taps catulator on forehead, looks at display and screams* “Arrrgh! No! I gotta take the psycho doll stuffed with #2 Gerberts.”
*Taco asplodes, Lola passes flask, Windrose makes tea, and Capn plots a course for the South Seas….*
Good heavens, the imagery reels.
Even worse, all but the corners are just empty jockey-lot squares. If you land on one, you draw a card with a CL listing, like Winter Bagel, or the like. You then have to try and unload the cra-,er, treasure on the next person to come along. Who would be allowed to use cat-math notes if both parties agree.
Ooh. Diagonal to “Shiney Place” put IRL, and all your CL stuff goes for recyling. Other two corners are “YSaC” and you can ditch any one item via snark.
We will need a “trick” roll of some sort (ok, an auxillary damage table U nerds) that would allow a person to randomly compose haiku or tc show references. And another for best Band Name.
I think we could get around Hasbro’s legal beagles…I’d corey it for you but my head is chock full of employment law right now…besides, I never took IP. Maybe Lola knows…
I actually stopped by so late in the day to tell you all that I almost put a corey tag a comment I just made on someone’s Facebook status. I’ve only been actively commenting for a few days…maybe as long as a week…and look what it’s done to me! =P
@ Bridgete – I believe the magic phrases are “fair use” and “for the purpose of parody” or similar. Plus, as long as we don’t call it “YSaC-opoly”, should be sweet. I don’t think much IP accrues to “a square board with places to land, dice and some cards you are instructed to draw at various times”.
Thanks! I had some vague ideas of how it could work based on what the Scrabulous people had to do to fix the various copyright violations…they didn’t have to give up the whole concept, they just had to make a few small changes. But anything more than that would have required research…I didn’t feel like doing that. =)
I’m a little teapot, short and stout,
Here is my handle, here is my handle. . .
Oh my God, I’m a sugar bowl! 0-o
Fair use and parody may apply. Also if you’re not actually making money off of something, copyright holders are occasionally marginally more relaxed, but don’t count on it.*
[possible corey] I’m not totally sure about this and cannot be arsed to check, but is Monopoly Hasbro’s, or is it Parker Brothers? [/half-assed corey]
*My head-state at the moment is such that I don’t know that I possess any intellectual properties of my own, much less the intelligence or wit to comment on the concept of intellectual property in general.
Bro-in-law is IP attorney, bet he could answer our questions.
Oh, and I call being the Misjay!!
I just googled, it’s Hasbro. http://www.hasbro.com/monopoly/en_US/
And now, finally, the moment PrincessLuceval has been waiting for all day! YOU DON”T SUCK! Punchity-Punch Punch! Oooo, sorry about the nose!
G’Night, Missouri!
My goodness, we were chatty in those days! And since then, Taco has bagged another baby, but it turned out to be a boy.
Here are two good names for a Babes in Toyland cover band.
hey, i wuz smart bak then–who nu?
Could juggle doggerel and M-zero currency concepts while waiting upon mild analgesics to take effect–sigh.
Does explain the folder of Flash code I found the other day, it was a cell animation for a putative on-line YSaCopoly–which makes very little sense right now, all the calls and labels are variables [goes and fusses with code for a bit] Kind of cool, in a 20%-finished sort of way.
<sigh>