YSaC, Vol. 626: Jesus may have risen, but my laundry is falling.
2010 April 4
Clothespin Jesus is Back – Just In Time for Easter! – $5
Hey Folks – Here we have Jesus on the Cross made of Wooden Clothespins. He was such a hit last year, he’s back! A very simple presentation.
Great in gift/Easter baskets or simply give as is with a nice greeting card – whatever works for you. Great teaching tool for Bible school too.This item is locally made, not an import or mass-produced. They go quickly! Cash/Money Orders only. Local pick-up only.
$5.00 each, 2 for $9.50, 10 for $47.00. xxx-xxx-xxxx Thanks for looking and Happy Spring!
Happy Easter, everyone. Clothespin Jesus has risen.
I made them at Sheep Camp. All this needs is a BeDazzler and I’m going to be a bajillionaire!
Thanks, Sarah!
“He was such a hit last year,he’s back!”
So enough people bought this fine piece of local art that he felt the need to make more?
This would be perfect, if it only had a little crown of thorns. Maybe a Rolling Rock bottle cap…
Perfect! Wasn’t the Son of God around the age of “33” when that rock got rolled?
Brilliant! (It’s also appropriately symbolic of the innumerable times that a cold six-pack has been my savior.)
Happy Easter to all who celebrate it, and since we probably have missed this year’s Clothespin Jesus sales, get your orders in now for next year!
He died on your line to save you from immortal soil.
The Easter Bunny left some bunny Peeps today. I think I may stash a few and let them good and stale. Next year, I’ll make clothespin bunny crosses. Should be a big seller.
Stale Peeps are the Greatest – they would never last long enough to make anything from, they get eaten.
Save some to make Peepshi!
Eek. Made me want sake, except it is bad manners to have sake with rice (unless one is baka gaijin).
But, that then made me want kunsei sake, and today is a day for lox. And, I have none of that.
Just remembered I have sparkling sake in the fridge. Not sure how well it would go with the easter quiche, though.
Best if roasted slowly over an open fire. Do it slow enough and the colored sugar turns into a crunchy shell to hold in the molten goodness. They do have a greater tendancy to self-immolate, though.
This just begs me to ask:
Should I add peppermint oil or crushed starlight mints if I wanted a minty shell?
Crushed mints, I think. The oil would likely catch fire, denying you any kind of shell, minty or otherwise.
I used to be a fan of microwaving Peeps. They get absolutely huge, but you have to catch them before they expand so much that they explode. I haven’t had Peeps in years because they contain gelatin and I’m a vegetarian. If only they made agar-based Peeps!
Seconded.
Boy, do I miss Peeps. Especially frozen Peeps.
This is excellent! Now I’ll have the complete set – Ash Allah, Balsa Buddha, Clothespin Christ, and all the other wooden deities.*
This is way cooler than “Boy-Band” posters.
*The complete set will be on CL in a year or two – look for “REliguS IkkanS – Priseless!! (Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah) $8.00 aech or all 10 for $89.95 – it’s a Mirucle. Call 666-6666.
Oh! Are you selling the boy-band poster and the wooden deities? I want them both! Your cat math seems to have a reasonable price for all 10… I’ll take them in a year or two.
I’ll sell you my Paper Clip New Kids on the Block Collection for $20 each or all 5 for $150. Please send a picture of the shelf you will display them on so I can see if it is worthy or not.
Do you deal in exotics as well? I could use a Rosewood Ra and Almond Anubis to round out my collection.
If you rub Balsa Buddha’s belly for luck and get a splinter, is it good luck or bad luck to remove it?
Removing it is bad luck unless you can explain the sound of one splinter being removed. The real goal is to become one with the splinter, to accept your splinterness in the world.
By the way, I think Balsa Buddha Belly would be a super band name – next weekend at the 40 Watt.
Isn’t getting a splinter bad luck anyway?
I shudder to ask what the Ganesha is crafted from
Or Quetzalcoatl, for that matter.
Goldenlarch Ganesha and Quince Quetzalcoatl. Not the easiest trees/shrubs to make crafts with, but my motto is: if it can be carved into a clothespin, it can be fashioned into a deity.
Ah, quite.
Could one presume Bubinga for Baron Samedi, then?
(even if Honduras Mahogany might be a more apt macrophylla)
Finished a deck using Ipè long, long ago, one of the carpenters wanted the scraps, I had no need for them. He whittled and turned butterfly clothespins from them and other scrap hardwood. Just to come full circle in a way. (If slightly worried that they might have become iconography later.)
Queso Quetzalcoatl is a big hit at any fiesta. He does not look so great on the wall, but nothing says party time like this deity of dairy delight!
“Deity of Dairy Delight”, my new favorite phrase and nomination for band-name!
Stop! Corey Time!
“Queso Quetzalcoatl” is of course actually something of a misnomer. The image of Quetzalcoatl is made of terra cotta; the queso is only in a fountain mounted on the top of the winged serpent’s head.
Sorry for understanding.
I will give this person some credit…at least they’re charging a reasonable price for them. And, it’s not like it’s only one, you know, to make them a “collectors item” (the only collector I see “collecting” it is the garbage man).
Why does this Jesus have a gaping hole in his chest? I thought the holes were suppose to be in his hands and feet.
set corey=”ON”
Actually, the story has him being gouged in the side with a soldier’s spear. The cup used to catch the blood went on to become the holy grail. Doesn’t ANYONE watch Indiana Jones…er… serious theological discussion any more?
I thought the Holy Grail was the cup used at the Last Supper. Or maybe I got that from Dan Brown.
So what part of Jesus did the Holy Hand Grenade come from?
That’s what the H stands for; Jesus “Holy Hand Grenade” Christ.
*Many apologies for offending those who might be offended.
what part of Jesus did the Holy Hand Grenade come from?
The AntiOch.
And the spear that jabbed him later inflicted (and then later cured) the wound of the Fisher King, who guarded the Grail.
Sorry Isaac, you seem to have confused the ‘Fisher King’ with the ‘Kingfish’, who starred with “Amos and Andy” (I just dated myself*) or perhaps with the former governor of Louisiana (Huey ‘Kingfisher’ Long). It is an understandable confusion based on their respective woods.
*Figuratively, of course, not literally….
Personally I like to think the gaping hole is His Holy (Huge) Bellybutton.
According to this new translation I picked up (Revised Sparky Version), when the women found the stone rolled away, and the tomb empty, that’s what the angels told them.
“He was such a hit last year, he’s back!”
i want you to know that this comment made my day
Why do they say “Happy spring” at the end? Couldn’t bring themselves to wish us “happy Easter” after unleashing these travesties?
“HappySpring ” is the next product they’ll be selling, “upcycled” from the tension springs that had to be removed from the clothes pins, of course.
Happy Spring’s* sharp wire edges make it a perfect gift for babies and toddlers.
*Do not taunt Happy Spring.
Do not use Happy Spring on concrete.
Do not expose Happy Spring to direct sunlight.
Do not stare directly at Happy Spring. For the love of Clothespin Jeebus, DO NOT STARE!
Do not get Happy Spring wet.
Do not feed Happy Spring after midnight.
Oh, wait; I think I’ve gotten Happy Spring confused with the Clothesline Mogwai that nice Mr. Wing’s grandson sold me…
Happy Spring: do not bounce
Wait, I thought Happy Spring was downstream from the ‘shine still.
Oops, I mis-remembered, that’s Hoppy Spring.
Total Corey here-Happy Easter everyone!-end total Corey
On the whole, I think this is a pretty creative little crafts endeavor, and I can imagine Sunday-school kids having fun making a crop of Clothespin Jesi while all the pagans and heathens are hunting for eggs.
But just between you and me, doesn’t the joining of the “torso” clothespins make Laundry Day Jesus look a little like He has a Vulva?
He does look like he’s carrying a bit more weight in his hips than I remember.
“…doesn’t the joining of the “torso” clothespins make Laundry Day Jesus look a little like He has a Vulva?”
That is why he is considered the joy of man’s desiring.
Can I use one of the clothespins to hold my nose?
Just because he’s dead doesn’t mean that he smells like a corpse, you know.
Whoa, Jesus is a zombie? That makes perfect sense!
and a quick google search dredged this up:
http://www.zombiejesusday.org/About.aspx
Zombie Jesus Day
it has greeting cards
O_O
@ Isaac- From the site you linked to- I pick “Famous Incorrupt Saints” as best band name of all time. OF ALL TIME!
For those of you who might not be comfortable with the idea of clothes pin Jesus, but love the idea of laundry inspired holiday decor; next year I’ll be selling dryer lint Easter bunnies. $5 each or five for $30.
The spelling is good… The punctuation doesn’t give you a headache… The math makes sense… The price is reasonable…
It’s a f*@king craigslist Easter miracle!!!
If nothing else (which is exceedingly likely), “Clothespin Jesus” is a pretty solid name for a college garage band.
Easter Matinee at the 40Watt, Clothespin Jesus performing their hits, “Lily White” and “You gotta keep ’em Separated!”
…from their hit album, “Fully Loaded & Off-Balanced” Heard the band’s spinning out of control, though.
Don’t forget:
I’ll Tumble (dry, low heat) For Ya
You Spin Me Round Like A Whirpool
The Tide Is High
Am I the only one questioning the idea of giving Clothespin Jesus as a greeting card?
“Happy Thanksgiving – have a Clothespin Jesus!”
“Sorry about the root canal – have a Clothespin Jesus!”
“¡Quinceañera feliz – tiene una Pinza a Jesús! ”
“Mazel tov on the Bar Mitzvah – have a Clothespin Jesus!”
Well, maybe not that last one.
Yeah, not the last one, but we do take Q-tip Stars of David. And tin foil Yarmulkes.
Ooooo, tin foil Yarmulkes! They’re all the rage in Israel.
Also Area 51.
The clothespin Jesus is OK, but I prefer the tampon Easter Bunny.
So. Very. Wrong.
So. Very. Hilarious.
Officially the end of teh Internets…. Wow.
Ok, normally this site cracks me up, because it pokes fun at people being idiots publicly. But seriously, just because someone sells a simple craft that represents a religious icon on Craigslist does it make them deserving of ridicule? I’m not saying I’d buy it, but lots of people buy stuff that surprise me. It’s not like they’ve misspelled everything, put it in the wrong section, are doing illegal things badly, or talking about people dying on their furniture and staining it.
It’s a Clothespin Jesus. It’s not anything superb like Not.A.Lion, or boy band posters. It’s CLOTHESPINS put together to form a shape. (Also note that all of these Jesi are lily white, just like the religious person from the middle east who became a zombie on this fine spring day.)
What’s not to poke fun at?
” Just because someone sells a simple craft that represents a religious icon on Craigslist does it make them deserving of ridicule?”
Yes.
Today is, understandably, a busy day for web bosses and posters alike. The Don’t Suck box has not been updated, and while I would gladly give Silva a week there just on general purposes, I feel that today needs a special touch. Therefore, as it’s 8:53 pm Pacific, I am going to award an honorary punch to EVERYONE who made comments today up until 10:00 PM Pacific. So delurk, decloak, come clean, and say anything at all.
Sorry about that. I remembered at about 6 pm and decided that was too late.
Well it is the time of Second Festivus, with the Airing of Grievances, Feats of Strength, and all.
With the added fillip of Playing with Chemicals; and “Now Children, Pay Attention, This Is Fun!” and then the rituals of Gluttony, Greed, and Covetness By Children–all in the uncomfortable company of people we are related to but are really strangers.
Ok, why more are not on the interwebs now might be a better question.
DANG! And there I was off being religious (non-wooden, non-household-implement-fashioned Jesus, for anyone keeping track) and missing out.
Story of my life.
Lola: The Missing Years
Good thing the seller was kind enough to post a picture of what one of them looks like. I’m sure you could make an exact copy for the price of about $.05. Oh hell…make THREE and put them side-by-side—stuck into that science project volcano that I know you’ve still kept from grade school—and make yourself a Golgotha diorama.
Tell Jesus I said “hi”.
Regards,
Barabas
Well, I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my clothespin Jesus
Riding on the clothesline of my yard
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will dry every nation,
With my clothespin Jesus I’ll go far
Windrose tempted me to delurk with the promise of a punch.
Ruffin13, please delurk more often! You belong here. 8)
Thank you Windrose! I am nowhere near as clever and smart as the rest of you, but I do have the sense of humor to enjoy your comments to the max.
Okay, that’s 10! Thank you for playing. (I don’t think I’ve seen the list this quiet in months!)
It’s mostly only on the quieter days that I can get a chance to comment. But, like so many, I’m always here watching…
Creepy!
I had a thirteen year old boy hijacking my computer for most of the weekend. My nephew visited and found my old copy of Age of Mythology, which meant no computer time (or sleep, since the computer is in my bedroom) for Auntie SJ.
Hey, SJ…our 14-yo nephew was with us for most of the weekend also, but he came with his own computer (these kids!) Was able to keep him (and my husband) occupied outdoors for nearly 5 hours doing science-y experiments with a block of dry ice…just an idea to keep in mind for future visits.
Yeah, SJ: next time he’s coming, stock up on Mentos and Diet Coke!
What? no science projects with pie charts and jelly beans?
Corey = Kalani??!!
It’s a slightly different tenor of complaint with Kalani. Corey was all like, “You people don’t get how this is actually an accurate, correctly spelled ad, because you don’t know the insider culture I’m privy to.” Kalani is more like, “Let’s not make fun of people just because they do something on Craigslist. Let’s not make fun!”
Kalani-Style pleading serves a useful purpose: it reminds us to keep our standards high. On the other hand, it kind of necessarily misses the point, because we’re not really here to mock people: we’re here to have funny conversations about funny (and often risible) things on Craigslist.
We’re not here to mock people?
*(sniffles)*
I feel like someone just told me the FSM isn’t real.
Well, you know what I mean.
We’re not here to mock people?
I was just pointing out that laughing at people for making terrible, obvious mistakes was funnier than laughing at them for starting a cottage business, even if we think it’s pointless. I mean, supposedly people are buying these things, right? If I could make something with clothespins and sell it for 5$ on the internet, I would consider that a major win.
Whatever. move on.
Well Kalani, I for one assume that the Clothespin Jesus artist has a better sense of humor than you, and is laughing all the way to the bank….
Kalani, you are definately a better person than Corey in that you have a sense of humor, and are willing to let this go and move on. Please stick around. 8)
O holiest LlamaNun I’m so glad you resurrected this one. For years of YSaC I’ve been thinking its Clothe Spin Jesus and have had him in my mind in a tumbler drier. We here in England call these useful things Clothes Pegs …. hence the confusion.
*I am still going to stick with my high speed spin vision, though* sort of JC meets St Catherine and gets some excess moisture issues.
Jesus loves me; this I know
For the clothespins tell me so.
These are not for importing.
They’ll go quickly. Happy spring.
Our Sparky who’s “art” is clothespins
Prophet be Thy game
Ah, nothing like an Easter morning trip down memory lane, back when my snark wasn’t rusty from disuse.
(gets out a can of the special WD-40 snark formulation)
I had a Clothespin Jesus and sealed it in a box with the rest of the gang … today, I can’t find him. But I’m not worried, because He’ll come back. Hopefully, before I wash the next load of laundry.
HEY! Don’t dis the Clothespin Jesus or he WILL come back and hang you all out to dry.
Happy Easter Everybody!
Clothespin Jesus died for your linens.
And the bleachers went wild!
*engages remote control to roll rock away from entrance to box*
Sister Lyle, DigitalAxis, Punchity Punch Punch! Dayenu!
Good Morning, Chocolate Overindulgers Anonymous.