JUMPY GET THE LEGS STRONG – $7
xxx.xxx.xxxx
As Elizabeth pointed out when she submitted this ad, “Nothing gets a baby’s legs stronger than jumping for their life from the back of your SUV!”
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
| WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition. […] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at… | |
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| Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring. I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere… |
If they’re trying to save gas by doing a Flintstones conversion to their car, they are doing it wrong.
There are other ways to test the CO2 ommissions from vehicles …. however it’s a modification of the canaries down pit shafts techniques that we Brits used in the good old days of the Industrial Revolution.
Everyone knows babies are full of gas. This is one way to reduce one’s carbon footprint, isn’t it?
I still think that putting the baby in front for that purpose might be slightly more efficient …
It’s true that babies are full of gas, and when the price spiked up to $4.00/gallon a few years ago, I often found myself wringing out an infant or a toddler to keep the tank full.
Baby oil does run pretty smooth, but those diaper pins are hell on the fuel filter.
Apologies for two consecutive posts but WTF have I got an advert for waterskiing personal ads? Is this an early training technique for waterskiing?
I’m getting used cars, job search sites, and that creepy “cougar life” thing. Almost wish it was waterskis.
I’m getting the thoroughly icky Cougar Life ads again.
oooh – I see the Cougar Life ad right now. I’m not really sure who the audience is for that ad or what exactly it’s selling. Has anyone ever clicked through? Come on – I mean, for curiosity!
Edit: Oh wait, there seems to be more than one iteration of the ad. I see what they are selling. Indeed.
Alas, I believe if we want to get rid of the Cougar Life ads, we will all have to refrain from using the Not. A. Lion meme on a daily basis. But that would be so haaaarrrrddddddddd! What a conundrum.
Waterskiing may have something to do with the LlamaNun’s recent appearance au natural: http://www.csmonitor.com/CSM-Photo-Galleries/Photos-of-the-Day/2010/Photos-of-the-Day-03-16
Not.a.Llama.
Oh wow, did you see the shoes ad? Those are awesome.
I’m currently getting an ad for Tigerdirect.com, “your source for PCs and Electronics.” Naturally, one wonders if one is redirected to the site if one types not.a.liondirect.com.
I’ve actually gotten a few things from Not.A.Liondirect.com. They arrived with less orange fur on them than I had expected.
Would you prefer “Not.a.cougar” ??
I’ve got one large orange ad for health care communications. Apparently the company does advertising for hospitals, et al.
I’m getting windsurfing personals and life insurance. i guess the life insurance could be related to the post…
tigprincess: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find other singles who like to WATERSKIING?
Uh, no Jackie. I don’t. Tell me all about it.
Let me go get a container for your joy.
Man what I want to know is why, why, why was this not available when my kids were small?
I could have saved countless hours threatening to pull the car over, and would have just put the offending kid in the “fun” jump-up out back.
Sheesh…parents today, you have all the advantages.
Well, we didn’t have a Jumpy, but this reminds me of how when the kids were little, and loud, we’d strap a playpen to the roof rack and let them ride up there. We got peace and quiet, the kids got plenty of fresh air, and when we got to Grandma’s, she had fun picking the bugs out of their teeth.
Good times.
Ah…yes, I remember them well. There was also the added bonus of not having to feed the little critters the minute you got to Ish. Ever Google how much protein is in one of those little junebugs?
I was sooooo lacking in imagination when my kids were little. All I did was put them on their tricycles and tow them behind the car. It was so much fun watching them criss-cross back there. And they always thanked me because they became great water skiers once they were teenagers. They figured I had got them off to a good start with the tricycle tow.
This brings to my mind a training device for a parent who wants to see their child medal in Olympic track and field.
Is this something for “caboose” babies?
What is this Tigger of which you speak? Surely by now we all know what those stripey things are called.
Why, of course we do, and don’t call me Shirley.
That’s my line.
Tigger is a particularly splendid Lion. He eats extract of malt. Would you like to see how to draw him?
Isaac is plugging his blog again! Is there a rule on unpaid plugs ’cause I’m paying and he’s getting his for free!
CL, the difference is that Isaac tends not to give us the creeps. 8)
Well hey there, beautiful. I’m talking to you, Blondie, not the hunk you’re straddling.
Begorra, is that Irish Bacontini I hear? Cougars would like Irish bacon, correct?
*crickets*
Tired of playing games? So are these women!
For those who are fond of the Not.A.Lionel and want their own cheese head (not the ones in Wisconsin) try this;
http://www.thecooksden.com/steve-jobs-cheese-head/
So THAT’S where I’m supposed to be hooking up the bouncey chair. I’ve been foolishly putting it up in the doorway to my bedroom.
Silly me.
Oh sure, and next you’re going to tell us you’ve got one of those car seat-thingys in your mini-van won’t you Mr. Smarty Pants?
Whoa…wait…they go IN the van?! Back in a sec.
You should put it over the washing machine and save on electricity. With the up and down agitation, Junior can kill two birds with one stone while practicing for his adult career as a base jumper.
And then after he’s crawling, put a large hamster wheel next to the TV, and rig it so he can power it on. He gets exercise, stays out of trouble, and you can catch up on Hannah Montana, the better to post on their fan boards, Papi Taco.
At that point, I’d be more inclined to sit down and watch Raising Arizona for the elebentyth!!11!! time.
H.I.: And this here’s the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don’t ruin your appreciation of the finer things…. Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless.
Don’t forget the exciting dryer rides!
The only place I keep my swinging bouncy chair is in the bedroom. It limits the questions I get from the neighbors when they come to visit.
Well, that and the mirrors on the ceiling. Handcuffs on the bed post. 60 oz. lube bottle. Jars of chocolate and a paint brush.
… faux-leopard bedspread … red satin/black lace canopy … flail collection … duct tape …
empty whipped cream cans…tin foil hat…the cattle prod…those red leather boots…
… disco ball … amyl poppers … giant furry mascot suit … eyeless leather mask with zipper over mouth …
Various hand tools adapted to other uses. Feather dusters. Homemade tasers. Mint jelly.
Ditto CJ. Not the jello so much as the pool full of styrofoam . . .
the 7-inch-heel ballet boots and patent leather corsets….
You people know waaaaaaaaaaay too much about this stuff….
*backs slowly out of the room so as not to draw attention to herself..then bumps her elbow on the doorjamb, spilling a wee bit o’ whiskey…mutters ‘dammit’…and closes door behind her, empties glass, then trips over cat*
Come back, CJ! We were just about to get out the Jell-o!
And the creamed corn. (I <3 Carl Hiaasen.)
Did shhhomebody shayyyy Shhhhhhelllo?
*wonders if everyone has the feeling of listing to the port side, tries standing on one leg to right the ship, spills whiskey, mutters dammit, trips over cat..again*
Lola – Me too! I typed “creamed corn” first but didn’t think anyone would get it.
Sarajean – I try not to think about it but it haunts me still, and figured I wasn’t the only one. 😉 Somehow I’m totally not surprised you’re a fan (of the author, not the “foodstuff”).
You should try Michael McClelland, if you haven’t already. Similar but different, more wackiness and less dark undertones. It’s like the difference between dark and milk chocolate.
New author alert. Thanks!
I’m gone for one day, ONE DAY, and you people start giving a complete run down on my home interior?! Seriously people, there is NOTHING in there that isn’t inside the average home! EVERYBODY has life size pillow dolls with Luke Skywalkers likeness on them. As for the rest of the stuff….you didn’t find everything when you did the walkthrough tour….
Meredith, just don’t try to marry those Luke dolls like that guy in Korea with his manga-faced doll.
(Please. I beg you as a friend!)
But…but, he’s the only one who UNDERSTAAAAANDS meeee!!!!
I find it a useful tool to encourage my grape-smooshers to greater productivity – “smoosh more grapes or I’ll put you in… the Bouncer!!!”
Somehow it only really started being efficacious when I installed it under a doorway with nails, glass and Jonas Bros. pictures set into the lintel.
Totally OT, and soon I’ll have to really concentrate on work and miss the rest of today’s hilarity, but I’ve started calling the, ahem, shall we say socially inept/grammatically challenged/utter buffoons I encounter at work, one word – “Sparky”.
Thanks YSaC for giving me a PC nickname for these people.
If by PC you mean Pretty Cool, then rock on; but Sparky would not go into my Politically Correct folder. Mr. Smarty Pants would.
You look a little green CJ…
Well, the fact that most of the “Sparky” people haven’t a clue that it’s non-PC works in my favor. To them, it’s a term of endearment.
Win-win.
Faith and begorah! Aren’t we all just a wee bit green today?
I’m not.
*looks at his avatar*
Damn it.
I’m not, more sorta grey actually.
I’m tortiseshell.
Not really, I just like saying “tortiseshell”*. According to the Clariol color wheel, I’m a “dark blonde with hints of red and gold.”
(*and Spocktastic ♥)
Nope, someone took my garden horse dispenser.
Cap, you have a horse dispenser in your garden?
Awe-some!
Am I the only one picturing an enormous Pez-style dispenser?
Just flip back Tigger’s head and get a pony!
*flip* ooh, I got a mine hors! Who wants a ride?
Monica Hamburg, your dose of insanity has been chosen for the Don’t Suck box! Hooray. I’ll be available later to punch your card and serve around the Irish Stew for all.
Sigh. What is it about this day that makes undergraduates think that it’s okay to start drinking at 9 am?
Probably because if it’s 9 a.m. on the West Coast, it’s 4 p.m. in Dublin which would make it more acceptable. Except I think they start drinking in Ireland first thing in the morning. Hang in there, drmk, your cocktail hour draws ever nearer. 🙂
*pours Bailey’s Irish Cream into coffee*
Either way, have a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day everyone!
Aye, Archy, and from my favorite Irish toast: “May ye be in Heaven half an hour afore the Devil knows yer dead!”
I tip a glass of Jameson to ye!
And to you, O’CJ ! *raising “Who’s Your Paddy” coffee mug*
And remember…
An Irishman is never drunk
as long as he can hold on to
one blade of grass and not fall
off the face of the Earth.
Am I the only one being dull and sipping perfectly ordinary coffee out of my Llamanun mug?
So far I have only indulged in “Irish cream” flavored creamer, but I’m still at work.
If the weather is mild you can celebrate in style on your Paddy O’ Furniture!
May the wind at your back not be the result of the corned beef and cabbage you had for supper!
drmk, perhaps it’s the fact that in places like Philadelphia and NYC, where I’ve lived, people start even earlier than that … even I’ve had a Guinness for breakfast (more like brunch, actually), but not if I had to do anything like work or class later.
I went to a Pac-10 school, and on the mornings of football games, which started around noon or 1 on Saturdays, people would get up and tap their kegs for pregame festivities at 8. Usually they were passed out by kickoff, and were no longer around to annoy us …
After a couple of fairly bad shootings caused by too much alcohol at NC State a while back, they’ve stopped allowing all day tailgating. The parking lots open up only a few hours before the games start to help prevent that sort of mischief.
Parking lots? Hey, these people were passed out at their off-campus apartments and never got that far, fortunately for the rest of us who made it to the games.
The irony is that in Ireland they don’t need an excuse to drink all day.
quite right TM, they’ll happily accept an excuse but certainly don’t need one.
Bartender: “I see you gentlemen are here early today. You joining in on the St. Patty’s Day bar opening?”
Irish Guy: “It’s St. Patty’s Day?”
But wait, TM! You’re giving the poor Irish a bum rap. Don’t forget, it’s at least 5 hours later there than where you are. See what I mean? They’re not starting early……..
trust me B, they didn’t just start early today, many of them haven’t actually stopped since yesterday.
“….many of them haven’t actually stopped since yesterday.”
Should read: Many of them haven’t actually stopped….
Signed,
Yer Historical Accuracy Leprechaun
Roses are red,
Violets are blueish,
A leprechaun told me,
St. Paddy was Jewish!
Where I am, St Paddy’s was yesterday – woooooo I come to you from the fuuuuutuuuuuure!!! *ahem*
But anyway, as I toddled to work yesterday a.m. there was a drunk guy wearing a shamrock hat slumped outside an Irish pub, to whom someone said “Top o’ the mornin'”. He replied, slurrily but happily “Yay, it’s St Patrick’s day!!”
What is it about 9 a.m. that makes you imply it isn’t okay to start drinking?
This is the best car parking device EVER.
Back a little more…
A little more…
A little more..
WAHHHHH!!!
We’re in!
I s anyone else a little weirded out by the sentence “Jumpy get the legs strong”? I keep thinking of possible alternatives:
“Jumpy gets the superfluous cup of coffee.”
“Jumpy likes the coffee strong.”
“Jumpy gets his/her Valium refill, finally.”
“Jumpy is the child whose parents tow them behind the 4×4 like a pinata.”
Or is Jumpy one of Snow White’s Dwarves who didn’t make the cut to be in the Final 7? “I’m sorry, Jumpy, but we’d prefer not to imply that anyone in this child-targeted story has a substance problem.”
“The hell? That’s not right! You have Dopey, Sleepy, and their pusher, Doc.”
“You’re right, but the director likes downers, not speed freaks. Sorry, guy.”
I initially read it as an imperative – “Jumpy! Get the legs strong!” – which made no sense, but my brain quickly changed it to “Jumpy? Get the legs strong!” read in a weird late-night infomercial type of voice.
“Are you jittery? Do you drink too much coffee and spend the rest of the day acting like you have a trio of weasels in your pants? Do you also want toned, lithe legs? Well have we got a product for you!!!”
Trio of Weasels in Your Pants
Band Name o’ the Day (my vote)
After they break up, they can reform as:
Pant Weasel Trio
(provided the keyboardist’s flamingo learns guitar by then)
It has the ring of bad Engrish to me.
Ooo! Cover band name of the day – Bad Engrish!
They could open for Trio of Weasels in Your Pants
Sounds like a good night at the 40 Watt!
Wasn’t Trio of Weasels in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
You have it wrong. Jumpy was the dwarf who used to get the jump on everyone else, shooting them with his Mac-10. It’s the reason why there’s only seven dwarves. There used to be more, until Jumpy got to ’em.
Is anyone else a little weirded out by the sentence “Jumpy get the legs strong”?
You asked the same initial question as I did, but, I was afraid to discover that someone had already sussed out that Sparky was one of those folk who refer to themselves in the third person.
As those people always make me want to take a red sharpie to their bad grammar and that makes for very complicated social interactions, what with the sharpie having sploded and all, and LE never arriving with “Elebenty!” and “REAL!!!!!!FUN!!!!!!” or “(TEENA)!” on their lips.
Which then devolves to a great deal of comparing documents and assertions of authority and spheres of influence and socioeconomic upheavals in Mushroom kingdoms everywhere–and this is such a poor day for disturbing the sylphian peace as is . . .
Jumpy is Sure They’re Out to Get Him.
Jumpy Heard a Noise in the Cupboard.
Could be a pretty good series of kids’ book…
Isaac: are you volunteering to do the illustrations?
The baby was very cute and stronged legs. The baby was jumpy on back the car get the legs strong. I really hope the baby read this,, or any cute and legs strong baby. If this was you then email me tell me what kind of diaper was I wearing when I seen you.
Now you’re making me Jumpy…
I want a book where Jumpy and Depressy go on a road trip.