YSaC, Vol. 553: What’s French for “pile of crap”?
FREE PILE / tas gratuit
massive FREE PILE starts at noon on tuesday the 5th of January, no early birds!, the location is [address] Toronto in the [Canadian government office] building
lots of weird crap, all aluminum bike, paintings, pac man sculpture stuffed with an extremely long sock doll, a telephone pole, 911 fire work with fire trucks on fire on it, ice cream sign, giant brown turd face blue nose sculpture, casio key board, moving water fall picture with sound, old skateboards, bruce lee flag, worth baseball bat, hunk of wood with eyes stuck in it, a pylon, a square wasp nest, spray foam, spray magnetic paint, office chair, electronic etch a sketch that animates, a motor cycle helmet that looks like a giant lego helmet, a dented car door with matching dented car hood, hand made no zombies picket sign, ikea hanging organizer with socks in it, picture of woman touching giant bulbous stalagmite in horn frame on horn pedestal, metal neptune symbol, big bird tape player blinks every once in a while and moves mouth erratically, standing fan, black light, air conditioner, bronze scepter, coin mechanism for paper box, wheely carts, a gabage can with a face you shove garbage into, a solid aluminum miniature sofa chair that i had a vision of on my 19th birthday, a plastic airbrush, and some coconuts, plus more.
starts at noon on tuesday the 5th of January, no early birds!,
I can’t decide which I want more: the picture of woman touching giant bulbous stalagmite in horn frame on horn pedestal, or the solid aluminum chair that he had a vision of on his 19th birthday. Or maybe the coconuts.
The thing that intrigues me the most is that this appears to be in a Canadian government building. I’m trying to figure out why a Canadian government office would be giving away this assortment of items. I’m also trying to figure out what the equivalent items would be in an American government office: I’m not entirely positive, but I think it would include a half-eaten box of Saltines, a life-sized cutout of Bea Arthur, and a Don’t Mess With Texas flag.
Thanks, Oliver!
Mont du Merde? Le Pile? Well, it says no early birds, so that leaves me out. Be back later to punch Caro’s card.
And I missed it! Darn!
This is a perfect example of why YSaC exists.
I’m soooo sad I missed “big bird tape player blinks every once in a while and moves mouth erratically.” That sounds like it is just made of win! As is the “hand made no zombies picket sign.” Never mind that I can take my own. I want that one!
Actually, this just sounds like a giant pile of win all around! I can’t tell which is funnier, the random assortment, the description, or the fact that it seems to be in a government place (maybe it’s crap collected after people moved out of subsidized housing or something? Comment dit-on “the projects”?).
Or, maybe I just stayed up waaaay too late last night (thanks for the encouragement, GrahamT and Windrose!), and that’s the primary reason I’m sitting here snorting, giggling, and telling my coworkers, “sorry, I can’t really explain it.”
Ah, you’ve learned to not try to explain why you’re laughing at stuff on here as well, I see…
“There’s this blog where they post this funny Craigslist ads, and this guy totally misspelled costume…”
*blank stares*
“Nevermind…”
“This person is selling a painting of a ‘lion’, but it’s so obviously NOT a Lion! See, it’s Not.A.Lion. Get it?!”
*Crickets*
“Um, they do it all the time, though. People are always calling them ‘lions’ when they aren’t. It’s funny.”
*Man wondering why he started dating me and if I possibly have a severe mental handicap*
“Um, how bout that…football team?”
No, no, no!! If you want to distract a man, you say – “Look! Shiny!”
No. if you want to arouse a Firefly fan, you say – “Look! Shiny!”
So there, Meredith!
“But, like, they spell everything wrong and haven’t a clue.”
[Tumbleweeds.]
“And sometimes they post pics that have nothing to do with the ad. Ha!”
Man: “OK.” [Subtext: Good for you.]
“Look at this one! What’s he doing posting about a parrot he found 6 years later?!”
Man stares as I laugh until tears stream down my face. Shakes head. Turns back to the computer. Goes into denial.
My guy got me the Rooster with Typewriter mug for Christmas, and he purposely quotes is wrong every time.
“Well, that’s what you get when you give a rooster a typewriter and stuff”
“Well, don’t let barn fowl use appliances”
“Well, you know roosters and typwriters”
He spends time passing Tekken moves back and forth on message boards, so I think we’re even.
My coworkers have become used to me, whilst viewing various sites, quivering with suppressed laughter and wiping away tears. Once they have established that I’m fine and not actually crying, they have learned to ignore me.
I’m a receptionist, which means that I get to sit around and wait for the phone to ring. Still, I try pretty hard not to laugh out loud – I just kind of chuckle under my breath.
Well, considering I’m *supposed* to be working, and my work does not involve cruising YSaC for hilarity, you should see the machinations I go through to cover up the laughter.
I think my co-workers are convinced I’ve got something permanently stuck in my eye.
I was sick a while back and I’m sure my coworkers thought I was sick even longer than I actually was, as I’d cover a laughing fit by covering my mouth and pretending to cough.
We all have occasional gaps in our reference requests, so my immediate colleagues are fine with non-work surfing because they do it themselves. In fact, I even don’t have to read things like Gawker because they do it and then share highlights. Still, if one of us is working and the other is not, if I’m the one who isn’t currently busy I don’t like to overly advertise the fact that I’m f***ing off.
I could get fired for surfing the net while at work, even on breaks and lunch. So I try to look in before I take off in the morning, and check as soon as I get home. And on Wednesdays, my day off, and weekends, I check in frequently. It’s an addiction, but not one I want to kick.
Oh my heavens, I didn’t get any further than “extremely long sock doll” (shakes head) . . . let me get more coffee before I go on . . . Good Lord Almighty, this is going to take some time.
Yeah, this was tl;dr for me. Back to being a ditz…
The “electronic etch a sketch that animates” makes me think of an etch a sketch version of the Creation of Adam. I want that. The only problem would be if somebody shook it. But in the mean time I would use it to animate the hunk of wood with eyes stuck in it. I bet he has things to say. I would not animate the giant brown turd face blue nose sculpture. That would just be cruel. What can you expect out of life if you have a turd for a face? I would stay the hell away from Big Bird with my animating etch a sketch, he sounds scary enough as an inanimate object that blinks and moves its mouth erratically. This is the first time I have equated Big Bird with Chucky.
I live in Toronto and ride past this building everyday on the streetcar. I always figured it was some sort of installation art piece, give that it’s in a Government office in our Harbourfront area, which is a ‘cultural’ area full of galleries.
It’s great to know that my Government has resorted to yard sales for funding. Too bad I’m too late to pick up the giant brown turd face blue nose sculpture – I would have been an early bird for sure!
Your thought that this was installation sculpture says a lot about most people’s perceptions of modern art today, and modern art itself, really.
I say that as someone who likes Tracey Emin, but fully acknowledges that a lot of people think things like that are a joke.
Hey! Maybe it is in fact an installation sculpture, but the government needs money.
Modern art: Something that is too fugly and horrible to be considered attractive or art by aesthetic metrics. However, with liberal application of bullshit meaning to a worthless pile of steaming refuse, an otherwise talentless hack can be considered a mysterious and deep modern artist.
My comment wasn’t meant to be a knock at modern art, it just seemed the most rational explanation given the area and ‘the pile’s’ location in a government office.
Apparently I gave the government waaaay too much credit – random junk heap it is!
… But this is a free pile. If it’s a money-raising scheme, it’s not a very effective one.
My guess is that it is–or was–some sort of sculpture exhibit, and the artist has decided to “make a statement” by giving the stuff away on Craigslist. Actually, I find that part kind of interesting. It would be fun to watch the “Free Pile” dwindle.
I would totally agree. This sounds exactly like the type of collection an artist would have. Random finished sculptures and pictures, odd things from concepts that never quite developed into a completed pieces, and awesomely specific descriptions of it.
That, plus the fact that anything before noon is considered ‘early bird’.
Governments give away a whole bunch of “free” stuff that isn’t really free.
In Soviet Russia, free stuff gives away government.
This stuff sounds AMAZING! Who in the world collected all this stuff? I want to know them, and hear the story of a life that would include need for a hunk of wood with eyes stuck in it, a wasps nest, a pac man sculpture and a giant Lego helmet. Seriously, their apartment had to look like PeeWee’s Playhouse.
A better story is how those eyes got stuck in that hunk of wood. You don’t mess with the Corleones.
I agree! As someone who makes inexplicable art now and then, I would love this stuff. I dumpster dive now and then but I have never found an extremely long sock doll stuffed into a pac man sculpture. That has tons of possibilities but all of them frighten me slightly. Honestly, I would probably chuck it back in the trash.
Oh, oh oh, better one.
Tim Burton’s garage sale.
*a solid aluminum miniature sofa chair that i had a vision of on my 19th birthday*
What? This is truly special, I wonder why he’s giving it away. Or is he giving the vision away? So he doesn’t want to be the aluminum SOFA KING?
This is the kind of vision I wish I had on my 19th birthday.
I’m still contemplating that one. Did someone get a hit of acid as a birthday gift? (Someone I knew in college got some as a gift when they got married, so I guess it’s not implausible.)
http://www.freewebs.com/ellys_elijahwood_site/ElijahWood_Vespa_628972_400.jpg
This was the only hunk of Wood with eyes I was able to find. I would SO pick that up out of a pile.
*gasp* *gasp*
I’m okay, I got this, yo.
*has heart attack, tips over*
LOL HHNF, you and your mixed messages. 8)
even my callous male-hatred cannot withstand the power of the hot Hobbit stare.
I am Canadian as well and all I can say is that I think that one of the Ministers cleaned out his office! Perhaps even our Prime Minister. I live a few hours away, so I won’t be an early bird, but I sooo hope that the square wasp nest is still available!
My next choice is the “911 fire work with fire trucks on fire on it” however one hopes someone has put the fire out by now, or the rest of this pile of merde will be burnt to a crisp, and what a shame that might be! {I am so upset I missed it.}
a dented car door with matching dented car hood
But is it minty?
a garbage can with a face you shove garbage into
Is its name Michael because this sounds alot like my ex-boyrfriend?
no early birds!
Aaaah…those budding artists who never want to get up before 1pm
I definitely want the square wasp’s nest and I’m really hoping, hoping, hoping that the pac man sculpture stuffed with an extremely long sock doll also contains a half eaten box of Moon Pies shoved up its arse (I had a vision of this on my 19th birthday).
I sure could use that Lego motorcycle helmet for this August’s Sturgis run! I’ll look like I rolled off Mount Rushmore.
Hi Mudslicker:
I called the square wasps nest first! I also call dibs on the fire truck, but you can have the Pac man sculpture stuffed with an extremely long sock doll. After all there is a lot of merde to share.
But the square wasps nest will SO totally go with my cockroach quilt, my trapdoor spider toilet seat cover and my praying mantis food chopper! Rats!
Sure there’s lots to share, but this is the BEST pile of el mierde awesomeness I’ve seen in a long time!!!
Canada should be proud! Usually we don’t see this quality type of shi, er um stuff, like this outside of Washington, D.C.
I’ve got a meal worm bowler hat if you’ve got a free table to sell me.
Well, as I am new to this site {although I’ve been reading it for a year} then I suppose I can share the wasp nest with you. How about you take is for six months and then I take it for six months?
BTW may I borrow your trapdoor spider seat cover? I have some guests coming for the weekend, and well…oh never mind, they probably wouldn’t understand. *sigh*
meal worm bowler hat?
Is it crocheted in-the-round and does it have cthulhu tentacles with a plus size beet boop thing-a-ma-jiggy wrapped around it?
If you do, then SOLD!!!
Will you take a free GREEN (fresh out of red) table that I can sell you for about $150 (OBO) that also serves as an Ottoman as well as one of those free standing closet things you can put stuff into. It has 3 or 4 drawers depending on what day it is (medication reasons) or if I take it and photograph it out in my driveway next to my monster trucks,,,, that you can only see reflected in the missing mirror of my vanity that you can sit on while naked,,,, but you have to be careful because one of the legs is shorter than the other five legs and you HAVE to use a telephone book from the city of Chicago (MUST also include the western suburbs) under the shorter leg unless of course you have a used breast pump you’ve found in the back corner of the thrift store inside a metal lunch box,,,and that will do too.
Are you impressed that I was able to spell the word “too” correctly? Now don’t give me any sass when you pony up with that showpiece bowl!
KTHNX
But… is the table minty?
Share? Borrow?
Minion…this is CRAIGSLIST for crying out loud!
There will be no friendly sharing, borrowing, palling around, cordial banter or hippy bartering going on regarding the sacks of awesomeness that can be found here.
Like a virgin cave….once items are found, you can’t unring that discovery bell and you certainly don’t want to share them with just anyone.
Unless of course it’s a leap year and maybe I’ll just need the wasp nest for my square coffee table during certain months with 31 days ( but only on the eve of the full moon).
Can you pencil me in for August, 2012? I’ll let you have the trapdoor treasure for any holidays after December 22, 2012.
Tacomagic: it depends on who/what sits on it naked. Maybe like a polar bear eating a York Peppermint Pattie.
Tacomagic:
I’ll give you the corey creds….and a huge THANK YOU! I really did not know what snap was…is my age showing?
Mudslicker:
No sharing? No borrowing? What kind of site is CRAIGSLIST anyway? First I’m told to make money on ideas, and then you tell me no sharing, no palling around, no cordial banter and no HIPPY BARTERING!!?? Is this Soviet Russia?
Even though this is not a leap year I accept your friendly offer. I have pencilled you in for August 2012, even though I understand the world is supposed to end in either May or June 2012.
You are unbelievably gracious to offer me your beloved trapdoor treasure for any holidays after December 22, 2012. In return I promise to keep my eyes open for any other insect items that are inhabited, pictured or needing to be re-homed for you. I understand that you already have cockroaches, a trapdoor treasure, a praying mantis and Rats, so I will look for termites, ants, silver bugs and bedbugs just for you. No really I insist, in the spirit of polite Canadians.
Minion: so..we are so good to go then!!!
According to the Mayan calendar, the world is supposed to end on December 22, 2012. You might want to pencil that in to your calendar. It could prove to be informative.
*wink*
York Peppermint Patty? Is it…*wait for it*…minty????
I’ll go away now.
Well played, madam, well played.
Considering the “911 fire work with fire trucks on fire on it,” I’m guessing the Canadian government office is the Department of Redundancy Department.
I think I hang out with too many artists, who would consider this entire pile more than possibly awesome.
I know people who would take that pile of junk and attack it with a glue gun.
???
Art.
Oh come on! If you can’t make your own Anti-Zombie picket sign, you deserve to be eaten.
“Brrrraaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnsss
Brrrraaaaiinnnnnssssss
Braaaaaiiii- Aww Crap.
Guys, they’ve got an anti-zombies sign!”
“Well, are you sure it means us? It could be for another group of zombies you know.”
“Pretty sure. It’s got a picture of a zombie with a red circle and a line. I think that’s pretty inclusive of all zombie groups.”
“Damnit! Why the hell do we even try coming over for dinner anymore if people are just going to be this rude.”
Toronto has this thing called Zombie Walk where people dress up like zombies and walk around, usually from bar to bar, and part of the event is anti-zombie protesters, so this sign is probably a left over from that event, which supports the theory that le pile is stuff that the city has picked up and for some reason decided to give away rather than throw out. Maybe they have zombie walks elsewhere and everybody knows about them, and I am not trying to get corey creds.
Tempe has a zombie walk on Helalween night.
WE DO?! I’ve been living here for 5 years and HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS.
Well you missed it, now. Better luck in 10 months. It was in the news (after the fact).
Yes, I believe San Diego also has one in Balboa Park around that time of year.
And jg, I’m sorry, you have to take the Corey Creds. Otherwise the entire universe will fall apart, and then where will we find things that we don’t understand to ridicule?
I second the motion. This is a textbook corey creds scenario.
They have one in Boston.
I so want that on a t-shirt:
“If you can’t make your own Anti-Zombie picket sign, you deserve to be eaten.”
No early birds? Honestly? “Back, BACK! You CANNOT take my free weird crap until Noon! I MEAN it! Hey you! Put down that wasps nest!”
Oooh!! Dibs on the “bruce lee flag”!! My freak flag’s lookin’ a little ratty these days.
If only there was a place where you could DUMP all your unwanted items. If only you could place them in some kind of special container by the side of the street and it would be magically empty later in the day.
If only.
If only there was a site on the interwebs that you could offer free sh**…er…stuff for sale, and people would buy it, for free. If only someone who had an Uncle named Craig could come up with a list or something.
Just sayin……
Oh snap.
Hey Tacomagic,
I apologize; I was not familiar with the term “snap” unless you are snapping gum. So I went to Urban Dictionary and found these three meanings.
1. A phrase used to signify an unexpected and surprising event. “Snap” is considered the new “Wow”. Also can be used with “Oh” such as “Oh, Snap”
2. A small amount of weed to be smoked from bong or piece, usually only enough for a good-sized hit.
3. To lose your temper and act in an aggressive manner.
Would you please enlighten me as to the one you meant?
*closes eyes and chants, please be number two, please be number two, please be number two…..
Oh snap is also what you say when somebody does a good comeback and you have nothing witty to use as a retort. In sentence form:
Oh Snap: “You just successfully mocked me or what I just said and I have no witty retort to offset the sting of your wit. You sir have won the day.”
It can also be used in a situation where somebody else was mocked to mean:
“You have just put down that person in such as way as they could not possibly come back at you and still be able to save face. Your wit has overpowered your enemy, and you have won the day. I congratulate you on your victory and condemn the loser for his shame.”
Now, give me my damn Corey Creds.
*Ahem*
Tm: the correct term would be da damn corey creds. If you notice, back in the archives corey’s username was always with lowercase “C”. So, to just tidy things up and keep things consistent, the “C” in “creds” should also be lower case.
sorry for trying to help you learn something today and sorry for understanding…peace out.
Oh Snap!
Looks like the Canadian government was having a going-out-of-business sale and nobody came.
“Bye bye” says the sign in the shop window
“Why, why?” says the junk in the yard.
-pm
This whole section just wins the internet.
Maybe he’s so worried about early birds because that’s how he got the coconuts. They put a creeper under their dorsal guiding feathers.
Birds carrying coconuts? You don’t mean swallows do you? Because we all know that a five ounce bird can’t possibly carry a one pound coconut. Unless, of course, it was an African swallow.
Then again, the coconuts could have migrated.
da corey creds
to you CJ!
Awesome!!
Can quoting Monty Python constitute eligibility to receive corey credits? I think we need to more clearly define the terms.
That’s a fuzzy area. There was some correcting on the bird in question used for the coconut skit, but the overall tone of the post was that of humor rather than trying to correct a willful lack of understanding.
Perhaps there should be different categories of corey credits…
Yes, Graham. Different categories/levels would be good.
I submit a request for the category/level of:
cc10: F-BAR
= corey credit 10: Full-Blown Anal Retentive
I work for the government so we’ll have to start you off at the CC05:F-BAR and you can work your way up one CC level per year. Once you’re a CC10 though, you can increase your step level every year to increase your F-BAR rating up to a maximum of 15.
So far we only have 3 CC10:F-BAR 15s working in our area.
And you have to have a master’s degree or at least eight years of experience in CC10 to get to CC11, right?
Only if you your Master’s degree is in advanced ass kissing. Otherwise, experience at kissing ass is a viable substitute.
Blah, blah, blah, and some coconuts, plus more. PLUS MORE? What the hell could you have possibly left off this list? And how valueless would it have to be to be included in “PLUS MORE?” I mean the freakin’ coconuts made the list! Look how high up the pylon is! There’s spray foam and old skateboards. WHAT THE HELL IS PLUS MORE?
+10
I agree, +10 bazillion for that one Bianchi
(Bowing to Bianchi Sound) You are a true goddess of cutting through the bullshit and getting to the one existential question that needed to be asked.
Yeah, Bianchi, you’re a goddess. 😉
Gods and goddesses can be interchangeable in terms of their gender . . . they are other-worldly, yes? They can be any damn thing they want to be. And in this instance, goddess was definitely what was channeled.
Heeheehee 🙂
That is correct… if I’m not mistaken, Hathor was hermaphroditic (a term derived from the names of Greek deities, no?).
Um hmm. And they were all so very randy, too . . .
Can we all return to talking about the craigslist junk and not mine?
Ba-doom cha!
Bianchi, when you wave it around with the words PLUS MORE attached, it’s kinda difficult to ignore.
*ducks and runs away, giggling*
Isaac! You’re back! Are you quite through lurking around?
and that question is “Where in the hell is the kitchen sink?” How could you guys miss that. I’m certainly not too good to take the low hanging fruit. Too lowbrow? Oh wait, maybe you guys are all too smart for that. Shit, I am going to go eat worms.
Milton, in Paradise Lost, says that angels may “either sex assume” when they take on a physical form.
I vaguely remember a story of Zeus or someone taking on the form of the opposite gender, but he’s definitely a male deity (most of the time). The Greco-Roman gods, at least, tend to be fixed in one gender, as it’s part of their personality. (Maybe Loki, in a different pantheon, spends some time gender-switched? I’m not as sure on that one)
The god Hermaphroditus is androgynous, but the mortal seer Tiresias actually spent discrete periods of time in different genders, before he had the ability to see the future.
*Presents Isaac with his CC for the day*
Also, off the top of my head I think I rember Brahman and Yggdrasil as also being Hermaphroditic.
[corey]Loki sired three entities (Fenrir, Jormungand and Hel) and gave birth to one (Sleipnir). He had a few other kids who never amounted to much. Sleipnir was conceived when he became a mare to distract a giant who was troubling the gods and had taken on a stallion’s form.
More on wiki, naturally: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loki
[/corey]
I really kinda love Loki but I absolutely adore Freyja.
…apparently it could include a crocheted meal worm bowler hat! *duh*
I see this going over there——–> tomorrow.
I wonder what happened to the rest of the dented car.
I know, it was sold for vintage cereal
But the buyer didn’t have enough cereal for the whole car, so they negotiated a deal….
I’ll believe it’s a government office when I see that list of stuff translated into French.
Of course, I’d readily believe that this is what our government does instead of actually governing the damn country.
Here you go:
lots de merde bizarre, tous les vélos en aluminium, peinture, sculpture pac man farcie avec une chaussette extrêmement long poupée, un poteau de téléphone, 911 travaux feu avec des camions de pompiers le feu sur lui, signe de la crème glacée, le géant face étron brun sculpture nez bleu, casio clé de bord, chute d’eau en mouvement l’image avec le son, planches à roulettes anciens, bruce lee drapeau, le baseball bat valeur, morceau de bois avec les yeux collés dedans, un pylône, un nid de guêpe carrés, de la mousse pulvérisée, de peinture au pistolet magnétique, chaise de bureau, électronique etch un croquis qui l’anime, un casque de moto qui ressemble à un casque de lego géant, une porte de voiture cabossée avec appariement capot de voiture cabossée, faite à la main aucun signe zombies de piquetage, IKEA organisateur accroché avec des chaussettes en elle, l’image de la femme de toucher stalagmite géante en forme de bulbe cadre de corne sur piédestal corne, symbole de Neptune en métal, grand lecteur de bandes d’oiseaux clignote de temps en temps, la bouche et se déplace de manière erratique, debout, ventilateur, lumière noire, air conditionné, le sceptre de bronze, mécanisme à pièces pour boîte de papier, des charrettes Wheely, un Gabage pouvez avec un visage vous fourrer des ordures dans un solide, en aluminium chaise canapé miniature que j’ai eu une vision de mon 19e anniversaire, un aérographe en plastique, et quelques noix de coco, plus plus.
débute à midi le mardi, le 5 Janvier, pas d’oiseaux tôt!,
..and now it all just sounds so……sexy! I believe you’ve ruined it now Bianchi.
Why do I suddenly crave a croissant and Johnny Depp?
When DON’T I crave a croissant and Johnny Depp?
Yay, something for my wife to translate for me. She just LOVES it when I make her translate random French for me. LOVES it.
She’ll love it even more when I tell her I already know what it says.
I’d love to see her face slowly changing as she reads this to you. The eyes will get more and more narrowed, the brow will wrinkle, and she’ll start to have the look of someone not wanting to spook a rabid animal or psychotic person.
*GAWK*
Bravo!!!!
It sounds so much more useful and prettier in French . . . ooh la la . . . the signe de la creme glacee sounds good enough to eat.
I’m pretty sure that if you tried to post this in France, you would be subject to some kind of punitive measures by the government.
Yeah, you’d have to let Sarkozy visit your home. While you were there. And without Carla.
Oh, the pain.
Is it, perhaps, pain au chocolat?
You are on a roll today, my Francophilic friend.
Is it, perhaps, a French…
nah, too easy.
At least he’s poutine the effort to resist the additional pun.
“faite à la main aucun signe zombies de piquetage”
Ooo, la la! I want one now!
I bet your heart just fluttered a little, huh Lola? So much French.
I really only speak le francais now if I’ve imbibed enough.
I have a sister-in-law, much younger, who defines the word wallflower. However, get her tipsy and she starts singing at the top of her lungs . . . in French. Never fails to crack me up.
I just want to know who got into my closets and how they moved all my stuff to Canada so quickly. If anyone makes it up there in time could you get my Beet Boop remix tape out of Big Bird for me? I really miss listening to that.
I’m very disappointed that the list notes “a pylon,” because when I first read that I just read it as “pylon.” Pylon is a now semi-obscure band from Athens, GA, that formed in the late ’70s. I’d totally show up and take them for free, even if it would mean they and their gear would crowd up my apartment.
I was disappointed because it lists only one pylon…
And, seriously, what’s the point of having only one?
To put next to your chaise lounge?
At a quick glance, aren’t pylon and telephone pole just REDUNDANT???
I mean, really…..
No, mudslicker, no. Let me educate you so you don’t sound like a fool next time you’re talking to a dock worker or a city government employee.
A pylon is for holding up docks.
A telephone pole is obviously for holding up telephone lines, or for single mom telephones that really need the money. See? It says ‘telephone’ right in the name.
I think I just came out of the corey closet.
I’ll be over here, putting on too much eyeliner and crying into my webcam.
Pylon could also refer to the Faulkner novel or the open source web application framework. Those in the industry just refer to it as the Py, so if you see the reference to the Py, don’t make fun of it just because you don’t understand it.
* I’ll take my Corey now, please and thank you.
You got that cc as soon as you started typing. I hope you can’t sit down for a week!
*grinz*
I know it’s been pointed out already, but I still can’t get over “a solid aluminum miniature sofa chair that i had a vision of on my 19th birthday.” It’s all Craiglist-normal until there, and then it blew my brain up. Again.
I’m pretty sure I miss a piece or 2 every time these ads break my brain and I have to reassemble it. Pretty soon I won’t have any brain left.
Once that happens Addicted Reader, then you TOO can get to the business of posting some of these similarly awesome ads!!!!
Just a little longer to go for all of us…oooooh……a bunny!
Where? GET IT OFFF!!!11!
Racist.
Only if there is a turtle or tortoise involved. Ahem.
Yeah, at first it seemed as if this person was just some unlucky sap who had ended up with the world’s most random pile of weird crap, although I did think, what kind of person sees the pitchfork thing with the barbs on the ends and thinks, “neptune symbol” instead of “trident”? But the aluminum-sofa-vision confession pushed this ad from “huh” to OMG WTF??
Maybe it’s NOT a trident and is instead the astrological symbol for Neptune, made of metal?
I can’t decide if that’d make it better or worse.
So…speaking of Not. A. Trident…
Are you Not. A. Tiger..?
Hmmmm?
What if it’s Satan’s stereotypical pitchfork? The idea that this Pile d’Merde Gratuit is a Hellmouth might explain some of the … oddities.
I like the description ‘Craigslist normal’. It just covers so much.
Son of a gun! Where was this poster at Christmas?!
Hey, today is my birthday (yes, really) and there is so much stuff here which would seem incredibly precious and rare after 2 bottles of chardonnay…….so come on guys, which extra-special items are ya gonna gift me?????
I hope you like Da Dora cars…
I have 4-6 free kittens for you. You can pick them up in front of my neighbor’s house.
…Or they could be just out in the middle of the street lounging in the sun and luring random children to their deaths.
Kittehs of teh Damned?
Happy birthday! Have some coconuts, they were the only thing in the free pile I could consider being seen carrying out.
http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/7/30/happyfrigginbi128619424334328536.jpg
For you, Sweetbiscuit!
Oh la la, today Meredith is flashing us her massive link.
I believe she prefers to call them sweater hams. F-ing awesome.
Happy birthday, SB. I was going to get you the picture of woman touching giant bulbous stalagmite in horn frame on horn pedestal, but I figured you already had one.
I can give you a wench. She’s eating me out of house and home.
The birthday girl should have:
bronze scepter
Yes.
Happy happy birthday, from all of us to youuuu
we hope you brought some alcyhol so we can party, too HEY!
Happy Birthday Sweet Biscuit! As for your gift, if you are so inclined I can have one of my vampire buddies help you become a vampire*. They can come over to your house in bat form (remember to tell them which room is yours so your aunt doesn’t swat them with a broom) and even he’ll you fake your death so your family isn’t worried.
*My all time favorite ysac that doesn’t get enough love.
Gah! “he’ll” was supposed to be “help.”
Damned phone doesn’t allow for edits.
Happy birthday, SB! I was going to give you a picture of a scantily-clad Brett Lee, but I’ve decided to keep it for mys-I mean, I couldn’t find one. *Ahem*
But can I interest you in Daniel Vettori as a suggestively-posed ninja?
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=41430005&l=5f6e1d6092&id=21000452
There’s a bronze scepter joke in there somewhere, I just can’t quite get to it…
Looks like he’s driving an invisible minty car.
I thought bus (it’s in the caption) but I hadn’t considered the minty angle…
Thanks guys – I feel special, and will probably need to call a skip to get rid of all this stuff (except the photo lareina)
unless anyone knows of a place i can advertise unwanted things on the interwebs 😉
SB, in honor of your birthday, we will stay up as late as it takes to break the record we set less than 24 hours ago. Ready, everyone?
M’lady, you are out of your mind if you think I’m doing that again.
*runs screaming from the room*
*parks her martini glass and shaker on the table*
Ready when you are Windrose!
LOL, Archie, I’m going to have to take a rain check tonight. I got caught in a cockatiel-sun conure triangle, and I’m just worn out. 8) But you are game, lady! Stay tuned!
Hahaha . . . I was just thinking that my statement was pure bravado speaking. Or maybe it was the vodka. Dunno. Anyhoo, I have my hands full tonight. Checking the sump pump every half hour to make sure the garage doesn’t flood, keeping the woodstove stoked so I don’t freeze in me knickers. All in all, I’ve got it ok, tho. Husband’s up north hunting . . . sleeping in a tent. 🙂 Hope he’s having fun. I’m afraid we are going to have to rest on our laurels of last night’s achievement.
Salute!!
ArchedEyebrows,
I, too, have glasses and a shaker (and a flask, just in case). Looking forward to teaming up with you another time. 😉 Doing my bit the night before did my head in, or I just might have been game!
You’re on, Lola! Hopefully, a suitable post will occur simultaneously with a dark and stormy night where our warm jammies and cold martinis will be appreciated as well as necessary. Windrose, that includes you as well! Til then . . . cheers!
Oh, don’t worry about me being an early bird! I won’t be an on time bird or a late bird for that matter. I’ll be the content-with-my-own-pile-of-crap bird over here.
All this crap, and no lion?
LOL!! 10 million for you jg!
In reading this over again (bad idea to drink water while doing so), I am struck by, among many other things, this: 911 fire work with fire trucks on fire on it.
The flaming firetrucks on it make me think the 911 is 9/11 or September 11th. Is anyone else struck by the utter inappropriateness of an EXPLOSIVE DEVICE that refers to the WTC attack?!? I don’t think I’m being overly sensitive to this because I live where that happened.
I’m also not holding the advertiser responsible; I’m just shaking my head at the complete whiskey-tango-foxtrottery of a blow-up memento of a war crime scene. Whose brain did that live in?!?
I’m betting it came from Pakistan. You can get any bizarre thing you want in Pakistan.
That makes a certain amount of logical sense if you also consider the reported sympathies for and purported harboring of al-Quaeda [sp] in various areas in Pakistan. In that case I can see the response to a celebratory 9/11 firework along the lines of “h3ll,yeah!”
Also: I suspect the coconuts mentioned are actually the people “organizing” (if that is the correct word for this situation) this free pile de merde. Just a personal hunch.
Sweet, a tornado watch for my county! That never happens!
Lucky. It’s sleeting where I am. Check your weather radar for those supercells.
… and then the windrose suddenly, lifting the house and GrahamT and his little dog Taco into the air, depositing them on the bianchi of a river in a strange land, where he met Lola (the Really Extra Good Witch of the North), the Cowardly Not.A.Lion, and the Scare-emu.
Graham and his new friends set off to find the Wizard of Edz, fleeing a flock of flying llamas and the Wicked Witch of Kanye West.
I am in awe.
I represent the Lollipop Guild.
(Lollipop Guild, y’all! Represent! Yee-ah!)
l_c, marry me. You’re a genius, and I’m in crush.
*cuts-n-pastes furiously, trying to turn resume into prenup*
::is too awed by the awesomeness to form words::
I might as well punch your card now, l_c. 8)
You’re a hard poster to follow, you know that?
Can you, um, autograph this for me?
*holds out picture of cowardly Not. A. Lion*
lost…this is pure magic, and we are not worthy!
Are you in NorCal, Graham? We had a tornado watch too.
Um, we did?
Maybe I should go batten something down…
The hatches always need bettening-down.
I have spent a good chunk of the night hiding under the stairs with the cat in case the tornado hits.
Greeaaat. I have no rating buttons or reply buttons.
What browser are you using? Make sure JavaScript is enabled, clear cache, restart browser, and you should be good.
See, I knew you were good for something.
Still haven’t figured what.
I took Computer Science III, I know what I’m talking about.
this will be our hawt sect’s mindless hypno-chant.
*blank stare, monotone voice, wearing Snuggies, circled around a goat*
‘Enable JavaScript, clear cache, restart browser, all is well.’
Error 404: File not found. ERROR 404: FILE NOT FOUND!
I have a room for you two, cheap.
*rubs chin* Why do I have a strange feeling about this?
I love the reference to “hawt sects” so very much.
I’m less enamoured of the reference to the goat.
*shiver*
Don’t worry, the goat will be fine. Or was that the bunny…
‘Strange feeling’? Sometimes, when your body is telling you that you are attracted to someone, you get a strange feeling. These feelings are normal and you shouldn’t be ashamed of them. I’ll have your father talk to you about that after a drink or seven.
I’m attracted to someone? Now I’m really confused!
Maybe it’s your inner goddess speaking to you, Graham.
Wouldn’t my inner goddess be attracted to… oh, dear.
Goddesses 1 Mere Mortals 0
Graham, attracted to anyone? Naw. Not with his propensity towards mouthless red latex and instigating a ‘furries’ discussion yesterday. Inconceivable!
Yah, but, I, uhm… the thing about it is… ah… remember that time when…
*defeated sigh*
I’m going to bed.
How does one spray magnetic paint? Anyone? Anyone?
Don’t answer! It’s a trap!
I actually visited the place once. I was a installation piece formed from interesting things found in other free piles, give a ways and at the end of peoples lane ways. I believe Isaac mentioned something about the give away being some sort of statement and he was indeed correct. Paraphrasing: “It was received for free therefor it was given away for free.”
As an artist myself I can understand how some people might argue if this is really art or not. I’m not really sure either but I do know if you are arguing about that then you are missing the point; it’s really freaking cool!
The french for pile of crap would be “tas de merde”… Wikipedia should provide a definition for it, using this ad… Tas de Merde… It’d be a nice name for a hardcore band…
The square wasps want their nest back. They want it sprayed for hepcats first.
These are all props for “Hercules versus the Space Ninjas in Quebec”. Clearly they’re into post-production on this now.
I wonder if they have free preparation-H to go with the free piles?
Goodness gracious, this was surely one of the greatest compilation of comments and commenters ever assembled on YSaC! *le sigh*
I remember this column and night particularly well. The weather outside was horrendous, and I was in fact huddled up by my woodstove in my jammies with liquid fortification and keeping an ear out for the sump pump. From stalking Bianchi’s inner goddess (it was such fun and he is a good sport!) to some coconuts PLUS MORE (who knew the zombie sign would become so relevant?), I love these reduxeseses. Thank you, Llamanun and Ostrimu (BBUT)!
I believe I’ll go fix me a martini. 🙂
So Dave, I didn’t think you wanted to spend the first Monday of 2013 alone in the box, so I invited some friends. And for yesterday, here’s your Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Monsewer!
One of my favoritist YSaC postings. It’s in my top ten!!