YSaC, Vol. 520: At least they weren’t “beta”.

2009 December 19

The “mirror” you have been waiting for – $195


This mirror in an “awesome piece of furniture” that’s why I’m listing it under “furniture”. I had to fight my wife “tooth & nail” so I could list it so buy it now before she changes “her” mind! She wanted me to list it for more but….I’m sort of in the holiday “giving” spirit so aren’t you the lucky one! This mirror unit measures 32″ wide x 86″ tall. You have to have the right place for it but if you do…..you will agree……you have to have it. Full seamed brown leather surrounds. Most people would hang this vertical (like the picture), but you could hang it from left to right as well. This mirror will not be for sale long. Get it as a “gift” this year just for “you”.
520b

You “could” hang it left to right, but then you’d run the risk of “opening” a rift in the “space”-time continuum; this is a “mirror”, after all, not an actual mirror, and so is really a portal into another dimension. Or maybe a hellmouth. A hellmouth that has seen this couple engaged in their, shall we say, intimate activities. I’d be afraid that those scenes would linger in the mirror’s memory, and that I’d be able to see the shadow of them every time I looked into the “mirror”.

“free vhs movies”


ive got about 30 of these”v-h-s” movies, most of them are for”kiddee-kids”(lil ones) a couple comedies(good ones) then a couple fer”mom an dad, teenz “. wanna make a lil bit of everyone happy watchin?… get intouch with “frank”.

Here’s what confuses me. When I see something listed as movies for “mom an dad”, I instantly think of porn. If you then include teenz in those same quotation marks, “Frank” turns into a “dirty old man”.

Thanks, Andrew and Gina!

59 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 December 19

    A “mirror” I can hang from left to right? Um, awesome! Left to right is definitely the way to hang things.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 December 19
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      No way! You’d have to be crazy to hang that mirror left to right.

      Right to left is the ONLY way to hang it…

      Adores: 5
    • 2009 December 19
      Windrose permalink

      If only there was a single word to convey this type of hanging. Stop the vertical madness!

      Adores: 4
      • 2009 December 20

        horizontalized…..

        Adores: 4
        • 2009 December 20
          Fanny permalink

          horizontalized:

          With the mirror horizontalized this room takes on the ambiance of a French bordello.

          Adores: 3
  2. 2009 December 19

    What alarms me the most are the scare-quotes that appear once around “her” when the first poster describes his “wife.”

    What’s that? Momentary uncertainty?

    Adores: 11
    • 2009 December 19
      Mimi permalink

      I worried about that too. Alien? Hermaphrodite? Blow-up doll? I don’t dare continue down the road my mind is taking me…

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 December 19
        Ed Snyder permalink

        In Soviet Russia, doll “blows-up” you!

        Adores: 17
  3. 2009 December 19
    Mimi permalink

    This mirror in a real piece of crap, that’s why I’m listing it under the only part of Craigslist I could find. I had to fight my wife with a baseball bat so I could list it so buy it now before she changes the hamster on a wheel she calls a mind! She wanted me to list it for more but….I’m sort of in the holiday throwing out the trash spirit so aren’t you the lucky one! This mirror unit measures 32″ wide x 86″ tall. You have to have the right place for it but if you do…..you will agree……you have to have it. Full seamed brown leather surrounds. Most people would hang this vertical (like the picture), but you could hang it from left to right as well. This mirror will not be for sale long. Get it as a constant source of regret this year just for someone you really hate.

    Fixed to clarify the euphemisms.

    Adores: 77
    • 2009 December 19
      lost_compass permalink

      Mimi, “LOL!” – your post is “very original” and quite “amusing.”

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 December 19
        lost_compass permalink

        Mimi, dammitwhydidn’tIthinkofthat – your post is making me envious as I berate myself for my lack of snarkiness and general brain power and quite likely to be tomorrow’s YDSaC featured comment, which throws me into a deep depression because of my irrationally competitive nature.

        Adores: 10
        • 2009 December 19
          Windrose permalink

          Did anyone punch Coco’s card yesterday?

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 19

          nudge nudge wink wink

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 December 20

      three internets to you!

      Adores: 0
  4. 2009 December 19
    FireManSteve-O permalink

    Tongue in cheek doesn’t translate well on Craigslist. Is his “wife” out of town for a few days and he is trying to be funny to endear the hearts of the readers?

    Adores: 3
  5. 2009 December 19
    Dotour permalink

    If he’s in the “giving” spirit, why isn’t this listed under “free?”

    Maybe he just forgot to put “$195” in quotes.

    Adores: 3
  6. 2009 December 19
    keelhaulrose permalink

    To anyone who might consider buying this thing, give me some planks of 2 by 6 wood, a can or two of black spray paint, and a cheapo ten dollar Wally-world mirror. I’ll do it for a 24 pack (as all good handypeople should do). It’ll save you around $150. Because I’m in the “giving” spirit today.

    Adores: 4
  7. 2009 December 19

    Dear Poster: My “gun” is out of “ammo”, so aren’t you the lucky one.

    Adores: 11
    • 2009 December 19
      Ed Snyder permalink

      If you were male and typed that exact comment (with the same strategically placed quotes) it would completely change the context.

      Adores: 18
  8. 2009 December 19
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    Hey Ellie Mae, let’s git outta the ce-ment pond and go watch some of them “v-h-s” movies.

    Sounds good, Jethro!

    Adores: 7
  9. 2009 December 19
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    Dear “frank”

    Can you tell me which lil bit of me your movies will make happy watchin’? I have certain bits I’d like to make happy. Others, not so much.

    Adores: 7
  10. 2009 December 19

    So can I “buy” these items with “money?” And when I say “buy” I mean burn and when I say “money” I mean fire.

    Adores: 21
  11. 2009 December 19
    Charlene permalink

    They sell that mirror at Home Depot for $24.99. No wonder she fought him tooth and nail.

    Adores: 3
  12. 2009 December 19
    Lola permalink

    *beats poster with his excess double quotes*
    There, I feel better now.

    I think this guy is selling the mirror because he is unaware of and missing out on its best usage: on the ceiling above yesterday’s pimp-ass bed (per sarajean’s duct-tape reference).

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 December 19
      canio6 permalink

      Since it is 32″ wide x 86″ tall you could easily fit a cat sitter plus cats beneath it on said bed and easily make your own “v-h-s” movies, though probably not for the ”kiddee-kids”

      Adores: 6
      • 2009 December 19
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Considering the poster’s knowledge of how to use quotes, I think there is a good chance that the mirror is actually 32 feet wide by 36 feet tall, making it quite the deal indeed!

        Adores: 5
  13. 2009 December 19
    Windrose permalink

    I’m haunted by the Man in the Mirror,
    I watched him beat his wife repeatedly,
    And no threats could have been any clearer,
    You have to have the right place for it,
    Take a look at your house, and then make a change!

    Adores: 11
  14. 2009 December 19
    Ed Snyder permalink

    Since quotation marks are really nothing but four apostrophes, I guess the December Apostrophe Shortage is over. This is good news indeed. I’m sure we have Obama’s Apostrophe Stimulus Plan to thank for this turnaround. Keynesian economics may not make a lot of sense when compared to real economics, but this proves that it works–at least for apostrophes.

    Adores: 7
    • 2009 December 19
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      For the last time, Obama is not from Keynesia!

      Adores: 14
      • 2009 December 19
        Ed Snyder permalink

        I thought Keynesia was the study of motion.

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 December 19

          Harrumph. The study of motion is movementology. Everyone knows that.

          Adores: 2
  15. 2009 December 19
    Meredith permalink

    I can’t come up with a thing to say. Nothing is there except, “snow snow snow snow snow snow snow….”

    My mind is filled with the blinding whiteness, as is the world outside.

    But I really could use that “mirror”.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 December 19
      Windrose permalink

      Meredith,

      I wish I could but those “v-h-s” movies to help you through this long, cold winter.

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 December 19
      Lola permalink

      I’ve never done cocaine, but the mention of snow (or “snow”) + mirror = party time!!1! I think this guy should market it toward dealers having holiday parties. Don’t hang it on the wall in any direction at all; put it on the coffee table, and have at it with credit cards and rolled twenties! Oh, and product, of course.
      (I read a lot of crime novels, what can I say?)

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 December 19
        Rathy permalink

        Um…yeah…totally never done coke…not even that one time in Vegas…

        In Soviet Russia, mirror does lines off of you!

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 December 19
          Lola permalink

          Never been to Vegas … so, what happens in Vegas, uh, I actually have no idea. Because it stays there.

          But in Soviet Russia, what happens in you stays in you! (Ow. That sounds painful.)

          Adores: 5
  16. 2009 December 19
    GrahamT permalink

    I can pretty much decipher everything in the first post up to this phrase:

    ″ wide x 86″

    What is he trying to emphasize or imply there?

    Adores: 8
    • 2009 December 19

      At first I thought he was making a fat joke about Stinkoman. But 20X6 isn’t the same as X086.

      So I guess I got nothing.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 December 20
        GrahamT permalink

        Considering the average Craigslist poster spotlighted here, that would be one of the easiest inferences we could make.

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 December 20

      X 86 is tech-talk for Intel microprocessor architecture. No wonder he wants $195 – the damn thing is microprocessor controlled!

      Adores: 4
  17. 2009 December 19
    Addicted Reader permalink

    These remind me of the “Friends” episode where Joey doesn’t know how to use air quotes.

    Beyond that, they just shut down my brain from overthinking the “innuendo” that isn’t “there.”

    And I walked about 3 miles in the snow today (not all at once). It was over a foot for the last mile. Ugh.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 December 20
      chronologically gifted permalink

      All y’all need to go down south where they wake up to a genteel inch or so of snow which is gone by noon. Yet, everything comes to a standstill: everything closes because of the snow.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 20
        Lindsey permalink

        I know exactly what you mean, Chronically Gifted. I live in NC, and everyone freaks out about a little rain. Yes, rain. Which was supposed to be snow yesterday. Everyone was in a panic. They even postponed my friend’s graduation today because of all this snow that was supposed to come yesterday, and it was beautiful today. On that note, I’ve never done “snow” (appropriate quotation marks), but when things like that happen, I sometimes think I could use some. Too bad I don’t have $195 to spend on this “mirror!”

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 20
          Lola permalink

          I haven’t been out to see it up close yet, but the report is NY has 9-14 inches. Let me know your address and I’ll send a couple of refrigerated trucks … there’s plenty to share! 🙂 News says this is the worst in 10 years, and I can believe it. I’ve been here almost 5 and it’s the worst I’ve seen since then. (I’ve lived further north, and west, and seen as bad and worse before then – blizzards.)
          On the topic of not being used to snow, last night a good friend of mine who moved here this year from Cuba got to play in the snow for the first time. Imagine being almost 30 and you finally get to make your first snowball. I called him and he was having a lot of fun.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 20
          Addicted Reader permalink

          I went to college in the Boston area. The first time it snowed freshman year, it was pretty easy to spot the Floridians, Californians, etc. out on the quad – most of them were prancing around enjoying the snow in light coats or even T-shirts. One guy even stripped down to his boxers to do a lap of the quad.
          Meanwhile, those of us who are used to snow bundled up in heavy coats and laughed at their antics. And someone took the boxer guy’s clothes and keyes and put them inside the dorm building, then laughed at him standing out in the snow nearly naked. They didn’t leave him out there for long, though.

          Adores: 0
  18. 2009 December 20
    develish1 permalink

    Hi folks,

    sorry I wasn’t around yesterday. We went to town to finish our present buying and it was pretty busy. Despite being pretty shattered when we got home, plus it has snowed a fair bit, hubby wanted to go out for a “drink or two” since it was his last chance till Christmas Eve as he working night all week. It snowed even more after we arrived at the bar so we didn’t want to leave.

    We both got rather drunk and didn’t come home till gone 2.00am, so if you could all keep the noise down today, we’d both appreciate it, thanks.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2009 December 29
    Addicted Reader permalink

    I was in Bed, Bath, and Beyond today and saw this item. The box, which was horizontal, said on it “can also hang vertically” or something very similar. It made me think of this post.

    Looking at the info online, I realize that it meant that there are *hooks* for hanging either vertically or horizontally, which makes more sense, but it was not clear from my quick glimpse of it while walking out of the store.

    Disclaimer: the poster is not endorsing the linked product as “art.”

    Adores: 0
    • 2012 October 28
      P-Rex permalink

      You need to be careful of that “Beyond” part. If you were a “spider” like me, you could do a “line” behind you to help you “get out” again.

      Side note: If there’s a bit of a “breeze”, I tend to be hung diagonally.

      Adores: 1
  20. 2012 October 28

    Mirrors have invaded YSac and are running amok at the lounge. “Film” at eleven.

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 October 28

      :fetches Windex and paper towels :

      “Film” gone by five after eleven.

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 October 28
        P-Rex permalink

        Do you wipe the glass vertically or left to right?

        Adores: 5
    • 2012 October 28
      Brer Fox permalink

      Mirrors, mirrors on YSaC
      Three days running back to back.
      Reflecto-pron we should not see.
      Left to right or vertically.

      Adores: 5
  21. 2012 October 28

    “Free” family-fun-size pack of “quotation” marks. They’re “great” for adding “emphasis,” especially when you don’t really “need” emphasis. Can be typed from left to right, but do not allow kiddee-kids to “swallow” them. Get intouch with “Dave.”

    Adores: 5
    • 2012 October 28
      Brer Fox permalink

      ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” “

      Block quotes! Just snap a couple off the old block, and you too can emphasize “ANYTHING”

      Brought to you by the makers of “@-a-boys”.

      Adores: 3
  22. 2012 October 28
    limelolly permalink

    Shhhh. I can see reflections — sideways!

    Adores: 2
  23. 2012 October 28
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    If the “mirror” is so “awesome”, and his “wife” also seems attached to it, then you have to wonder why the heck he’s “selling” it. Could it be that they “need” the “money”, and all that business about underpricing, fighting “tooth & nail”, and the “giving” spirit is just a “lie”? Say it isn’t “so”.

    Adores: 3
  24. 2012 October 29

    limelolly is snarking at YSac,
    limelolly is snarking each day!
    limelolly is in the box waiting,
    I wonder what she has to say?

    Snark On! Snark On! Oh Snark On, limelolly for me, for me!
    Snark On! Snark On! Oh Snark On, limelolly for me, for me!

    Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Mirror Universe!

    Adores: 0
    • 2012 October 29
      LimeLolly permalink

      Oww! I missed you all too! 🙂

      Adores: 0

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