YSaC, Vol. XXVIII
2008 September 8
not sure how to word this – m4w – 29
like the title says, not sure how to word this.
I’m looking for a girl who wants more in her sex life. I guess thats what I’m looking for. I’ve been married for a few years now, but our sex life seems dull and lacking.
are you in the same position?
Maybe we could help each other out. obviously must be discrete.
Here, let me help you figure out how to word that:
I want to cheat on my wife with someone who will do the freaky things she won’t do.
Does that help?
And damn it, it’s discreet. Why do so many people misspell that one?
No, he’s saying that he doesn’t want it to be continuous. [/geek]
Dropped in from PAN and cracking up as I work my way through the archives, in case you were wondering.
Welcome! Make yourself at home.
I was trying to figure out how to make the “discrete from what?” joke myself when I posted this, but couldn’t get it to work out.
“Why do so many people misspell that one?”
Must be mathematicians.
All of my sexual encounters are discrete, in the sense that they use only arithmetic and algebra (I am still quite afraid of calculus sex).
That’s because calculus sex is derivative. *nods wisely*
I sadly admit: this made me laugh out loud.
Wear the nerd flag proud.
@drmk:
I have my limits.
(God, I’m a nerd.)
This is the nerdiest thread ever. It pains me that I understand you. *sigh* Fine, here goes: I always thought sex is about integrating two lovers.
But to give the guy some credit, he at least used a word that exists, unlike “deescrete” which I’ve actually seen published in a company’s monthly newsletter.
At least there’s no dissection assured in this relationship.
:tries desperately to think of math-related sex joke:
:fails:
I’m gonna need one of my snark pills for this.
:todders off to find expired cold medicine:
.5∠YAM+7∠CHS=4*∠CAT
Kinky. I also think I may need a lowercase m in front of the angles to denote “the measure of angle AMC”, etc.
By the way, that’s just supposed to be math related. I don’t know calculus.
It’s okay, you’re in the box for your wit, not your math skills. 8)
We do the weird stuff.
A Brazillion Adores, Groupies!
Am I allowed to have crushes on sock puppets?
Well, if you do it might be more of a shirt puppet.
Yes.
[Bouncy Bouncy]=/A[-Quiet Shirt Time] = 4x(STD) /trapeze and mirrors
Wow, calculus just makes it all so complicated.
Math on a Saturday? Oh hell no! Let’s try word association with a little cat math thrown in:
calculus: catculus: Caligula
There, now I understand.
Caligula — Funicular
Little Cat — Munchkins
Hell — Helsingborg
Helsigborg – Helsinki
Helsinki – Fink
Fink – Mink
Mink – Bungee Cord
Well that’s just plain discriminatory. Why couldn’t Sparky be an electronics engineer, huh? He could just be a bored resistor looking for a transistor* to make a discrete circuit with.
* Trans-sisters also welcome.
If he finds someone with too much current, she could light up his life.
Only if he has the capacitance for it.
Refraining from asking where the bridge lead of the diode is expected to be lead (or to insinuate microfarads or Faraday cages [No! he said it!; now i’ve said “it”! eow! neuw! “eee!”])
Making a circuit in a Faraday cage? Now that’s the kinky stuff.
Ni!
Obviously, Sparky needs someone discrete. He needs someone with a finite difference from his wife. All in all, this is a very calculating ad.
[/desperate geek-wannabee]
Integer? But I just met ‘er.
I have less than nothing to add at this function. My math puns are absolute zero.
I posted a link to Calculus Rhapsody yesterday, I should have waited for today. My timing is off these days.
Or you may have helped inspire this one!
I thought guys just wanted some great tangents and a lovely asymptote.
You ever feel like people only love you because of your derivation?
But he said he’d integral me in the morning!
Only the squares looking to sin.
There’s a big calculus party, and all the functions are invited. ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend ex sulking in a corner.
ln(x): “What’s wrong ex?”
ex: “I’m so lonely!”
ln(x): “Well, you should go integrate yourself into the crowd!”
ex looks up and cries, “It won’t make a difference!”
(Yes, I found a page of calculus jokes. This one at least I sort of understand. The x should be small and above the e, as in e to the x power)
So he wants someone who has left a Greek island?
(Dis-Crete)
Thank you, Silva, for making a joke that I could understand. 🙂
Apropos of nothing, today is Tommy Ramone’s birthday, the sole surviving Ramone (other than Marky, who came later).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWHAL_q1ne8
If you do care to look at the link, notice that they got it done in less than a minute thirty. Ah, memories.
I was tired of my lady; she wouldn’t get freaky with me.
Like a worn-out needle in my Ortofon.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read Craigslist in bed.
And in the personals column, this is what I read:
If you like penis costumes, and raw pubic hairs in your rice.
If you’re a zomb, if you like to eat brains.
If you like male Shiatsu dogs, exploring urban landscapes.
I’m in the same position, write to me, and escape.
I didn’t think about my spelling, I know that sounds kind of dumb.
But me and my old lady, had worn out all our stripper clothes.
So I wrote to Craigslist, took out a personal ad.
No sure how to word this, like the title says.
Yes, I like penis costumes and raw pubic hairs in my rice.
I’m not much into vintage food, point, laugh at me, feel my pain.
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and dance on my red table.
At a bar called 40 watt, where we’ll plan our escape.
So I waited high on dope, then she trotted into the place.
I knew her poncho* in an instant; I knew the bedazzle on her hooves.
It was my own cyoty ugly lady, and she said, “Oh, it’s you.”
And we laughed for a moment, and I said, I never knew…
That you like penis costumes, and raw pubic hairs in your rice.
And the smell of the low tide, and the taste of brains.
That you like male Shiatsu dogs, homosexual cassette tapes.
I’m in the same position come with me, and escape.
*Pre-LRC avatar reference 😉
Ah, now I get why I never understood calculus. I always had to use graphing paper instead getting hands-on, practical use.
I know it’s late, I know you’re weary,
I know your night won’t include me,
Still here we are, both of us snarky,
I’m gonna punch you, but you can’t punch me.
Caro and Astro, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’night, Zero, My Hero!