You suck at Craigslist, Vol. III
In the last three days, someone has posted the same hideous “lion and giraffe” pictures three times, with increasing hilarity.
Listing #1:
lion and giraffe – $30
Date: 2008-08-16, 8:30AM EDT
these are really expensive pics, u can go look at them in the finger hut magazine from last year, they cost about 300.00 new. i want 30 for the set.there 3 foot long and 3 feet wide, very nice. email me if intereted
Point 1: Um, that’s not a lion.
Point 2: It doesn’t matter how much you paid for them.
Point 3: The “finger hut magazine” is a sure indicator of high quality. It’s right up there with the Lillian Vernon catalog.
Point 4: 3 foot long and 3 foot wide, huh? So they’re square, is what you’re saying? Okay.
Listing #2:
giraffe and lion pic – $35
Date: 2008-08-17, 9:09AM EDT
these are very expensive . they were bought last year through avon there cost about 300.00 dollars new there about 3 feet long and 2 feet wide, sell the as a set,thats how they were bought, pleas email me if intterested
Point 1: Still not a lion.
Point 2: So you’re relisting them, and asking MORE than your original listing?
Point 3: Oh, they were bought through Avon?
Point 4: Now they’re 3 feet long and 2 feet wide.
Point 5: Sell as a set? Would anyone really want just one of those?
Listing #3:
giraffe and lion pic – $35
Date: 2008-08-18, 9:23AM EDT
these are very expensive brand new, they were bought last year but never used, they were bought from avon, i want 35 for the pair of them . there about 4 feet long and 3 feet wide . please email me if interested
Point 1: STILL not a lion.
Point 2: Never used? Um, they’re wall hangings, right? They’re hanging on a wall in the photo, right?
Point 3: Now they’re 4 feet long and 3 feet wide.
Seriously: Not A Lion. And if you paid $300 for those …
wow. just. wow.
“But they are three feet long and three feet wide,” he said. “Look.”
He held the lion picture that looked curiously like a tiger vertically and said, “Three feet long, and…”
He then turned the picture on its side.
“Three feet wide! Oh, wait. It’s four feet wide.”
His disciple nodded. “Surely you are wise in the ways of measurement.”
OK, I actually started to cry when I read “STILL not a lion”.
Oh my gosh, This is my favorite thing I’ve seen on herer.
You s— at leaving comments. That’s h-e-r-e. But you’re a great kid for showing me this!
Ha! Valerie’s mom had to take her to task for her spelling, but can’t bring herself to spell out the word, “suck.” What a cute mom!
yeah mom is cute that way…
I have when people say, “I paid $x for this” or “It cost $x new.” Like you said — doesn’t matter. A $40,000 car turns into a $30,000 as soon as you drive it off the lot.
That’s awesome — “A $40,000 car into a $30,000 as soon as you drive it off the lot.” A $30,000 what, head of cabbage, pink flamingo…I guess it depends on the car.
That should say “hate,” obviously.
I was just wondering, any chance it’s finally turned into a lion? Cause you see I’m reading this months later, and who knows? It could happen.
hahahahahahahahahahaahaha !!!
Fantastic!
It turns into a lion at night, but the picture was taken during the day obviously.
Okay, this is seriously the best one I have seen yet. I am laughing so hard.
If you squint really hard then it almost looks like a lion.
This one is still my favorite.
This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Ever.
so if you hung them in different rooms, their dimensions would be 3foot x 52foot.
Oh great, you have me laughing so hard at work I am crying!
LMAO
I will turn to your site in lieu of wine and xanax…which I take while admiring the lion wall hanging I just bought…and the more I drink the more it looks like a… oh crap!
But look… he eventually learned how to spell ‘interested’…. yay!
Has no one yet pointed out that the giraffe and the not-a-lion are native to different continents? I wonder when Fingerhut/Avon is going to offer cheesy matching wall hangings of a giraffe and a koala.
beyond hilarious. this is my favorite one. this is actually the first thing I’ve commented so far just because this post is so epic. love it :]
…and really, Avon and Fingerhut are where you want to get your home furnishings. Those would coordinate wonderfully with my “Classic Hollywood Monsters” collector plates.
I just want to point out, for those who are interested, that over one year later…
Still. Not. A. Lion.
Hope springs eternal…
I also like how the price increases with the last post. The pictures started out at $30, but then the person listing changed the price to $35 when they didn’t sell…? Is this some kind of weird Craigslist psychology here, you know: increase the price in order to increase the perceived value? Nah, I can’t give them that much credit.
I don’t see what the problem is. Of course that is a lion. It isn’t a white lion, like the one that mauled Roy, but it is clearly a lion. Y’all are blind.
I am baffled by the measurements, because I need to know if they apply to each picture or to both pictures together. I also need to know why they keep changing. Are these magic wall hangings?
maybe he figured out how to spell interested, but he still couldn’t figure out they’re vs there.
This is hilarious. Absolutley hilarious. I love this website. 🙂
Guys guys guys, this is very simple. It all goes along with furniture physics. There’s a theory that the Universe is constantly expanding! This obviously helps prove that fact, since there is definite exponential growth in these “lyin’ (lion)” pictures.
I’m sorry, that last pun was unnecessary..
The comments are as funny as this post – thanks for making me smile on such a crappy day at work.
Wow, just confirms why our country is in the shape it is in. Can’t see, spell, measure, or calculate! Wonder where they’re from?
I would gladly pay 300 for these..
Finger Hut?!?! Do they even SELL stuff for $300? When I was in college many years ago, I ordered a set of knives from them for $19.95. Fine cutlery, they were not. And who they hell buys paintings from Avon? Perfume, nail polish etc. okay, but….
If the TIGER turns into a lion occasionally, I’d pay about 15.
Hah! I remember Fingerfuck, and my mom’s trials and tribulations with them! No, these pictures don’t actually retail for $300, but the lister must be accounting for the interests and fees the average customer would accumulate while in the process of paying for them, which will wind you up near $300.
Anyone else have the Teddy Bear with a Blue Ribbon pattern for dishes or linens when they were a kid? Heartwarming, no?
i am actually collecting the teddy bear set now and i am obsessed with it
Wanda, have you tried an ad on Craigslist? Just a thought.
i really couldnt stop laughing…. hahahaha this is some hilarious s*** hahahaha
Since when is name-dropping AVON a selling point?
duh. those are Moravian lions. the uncultured call them tigers. … or maybe it’s a liger, after all you can’t see all of it..
@anonymouse,
Indeed. From those paintings, I have absolutely no idea whether that animal has skills in magic.
I think that’s a “moron”ian lion… I’m still torn between actual CL postings and comments not sure which are funnier! : )
I’d like to buy the giraffe wall hanging! Where can I buy this? (Other than Fingerhut and Avon, of course.)
SOMEWHAT OFFICALESQUE PROCLAMATION OF
THE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF THE CONGOASTROGNASHCOPYCATTING Windrose’s proprosal on You suck at Criaglsist, Vol. I, and
MARKING that Windrose’s proposal was both great and wondrous,
RECOGNIZING this posting as a historical landmark to be preserved for all time, as the originator of one of YSaC’s most prominent and famous “meme”s,
WE HEREBY DECREE this posting to be the 42nd wonder of the world, right before Ringo Starr’s nose, and right after LMGTFY,
on this, the Twenty-Sixth day of April, in the year Two Thousand and Ten of our
LordLlama-Nun.Again, we apologize for the crossing out. The Congo is no better at China than this, really.
I had tears coming out of my eyes by the second listing
Wait till you get to the mine hores – they’ll have tears coming out of all _sorts_ of places!!
I think I’ll wait a few more days…when they grow a little bigger
Isn’t that a zebra?
I’m literally laughing out loud, and hoping I won’t wake my husband up while I do.
Thanks for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your next post
thanks once again.
6 years later and this is still my favorite.
This post is hilarious if not a bit sad.
I went to Fingerhut.com, searched for “Wall Art” and then sorted on price, high to low. Similarly tacky paintings sell for $500. For just $34.99/month you can get a canvas print of “Wild Wing ‘Winter Retreat’ Deer Canvas Wall Art”.
So I’m picturing someone buying crappy $500 prints ON LAYAWAY. There is not a happy story behind that transaction…
I guess we have another example of a commonality between the upper and lower classes — wasting money on artwork of highly dubious value.
Mercy
Dollar General has the same pictures for $5 – $8 each. Similar frames, too.