YSaC, Vol. CLXXXVI

2009 January 20
by drmk

OBAMA CRYSTAL BRACLET – $20


Original Sworaski crystal bracelet. Letters are all crystals on a black rubber and stanless braclet….Hurry…time running out

April found this listing and sent it in, saying “Look at all those “Sworaski” crystals! And on a “stanless braclet”! Can we really have this much glamour for only $20? YES WE CAN!”

Besides, what’s the hurry? From what I hear, he’s going to be president for at least the next four years. That’s enough time for every person in the country to buy a BeDazzler and imprint his name on every item of clothing they own. Hey, that sounds like a pretty good economic recovery package, actually. Stimulate the economy, and sparkle while you’re doing it!

*Warning: craptacular video on the BeDazzler site. You’ve been warned.**

**Sppoookky warning from the future! As of 2011, there is no longer a BeDazzler website! You’ve been warned!

37 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 January 20

    Besides the obvious in this ad (typos, misplaced enthusiasm, etc.), does anyone really wear bracelets with someone else’s name on them? I’m confused. I don’t wear a ton of jewelry myself, but if I did, I doubt it would have “Obama” or anyone else’s last time on it. Not to mention that crystal is really classy when paired with rubber.

    Adores: 1
  2. 2009 January 20

    Your warning came too late, I’d already clicked!!!

    Adores: 0
  3. 2009 January 20

    The poster was able to afford real Sworaski crystals by selling all their French prudential furniture.

    Adores: 3
  4. 2009 January 20
    Courtney permalink

    Your economic stimulus package can go along with mine – adopt Washington D.C. and/or Puerto Rico as states and send the flag industry skyrocketing. That’s bound to trickle down, right?

    Unlike the Valentine’s cups o’ love the other day, I bet someone buys these. Sadly, some people will probably even buy two.

    God bless America.

    Adores: 0
  5. 2009 January 20
    Mandee permalink

    Hmm…I’m wondering if the outcome of the election had been different if these would be JOHN bracelets instead? And hey…BeDazzlers don’t work. I threw mine away years ago! :p

    Adores: 0
  6. 2009 January 21
    drmk permalink

    “McCain” doesn’t really sound like a sparkly name. And … are you actually surprised that an “As Seen on TV!” product doesn’t live up to the hyperbole? Anyway, it’s not whether it works — by buying one, you’re stimulating the manufacturer who makes them, the retailer who sells them AND the sparkly things, the clothing manufacturers (because after you destroy your clothes trying to BeDazzle them you’ll need to buy new clothes), and the waste management/recycling industry when you throw the thing away. See? Everyone wins.

    Adores: 1
  7. 2009 January 21
    dogface permalink

    Man, I’m glad I can finally get a bracelet without Stans!

    Adores: 5
  8. 2009 January 21
    candace permalink

    By “time running out”, they REALLY meant, “Hurry and buy this cheap piece of crap before the hot glue gives out and the ‘real’ crystals fall out, and the stanless steel starts rusting.

    Adores: 6
  9. 2009 January 23

    Or, you can go to your local pet store and MAKE YOUR OWN!

    http://www.dog.com/item/crystal-rhinestone-slide-letter/

    Adores: 3
  10. 2009 July 7
    Alex Kraus permalink

    Wow. The fact that they’re trying to pass off a dog collar as a bracelet (good find, CB) just sends this over this top.

    Adores: 0
  11. 2011 October 30

    No Stans were harmed in the making of this bling.

    Adores: 7
  12. 2011 October 30

    Time doesn’t run out, given that it is wibbly-wobbly I would say it bounces instead

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 October 30
      Jen permalink

      Much like this calassay braclet. That’s why all my bling is rubberised – it don’t break if’n I drops it after a night on the ‘shine.

      Adores: 0
  13. 2011 October 30
    ToBScholarly permalink

    If you buy the OBAMA bracelet, do you wear it on the left or the right?

    Adores: 5
  14. 2011 October 30

    I remember when I sold my soul to Stan hoping for limitless power. Turns out he wasn’t the lord of all darkness but rather an investment broker in Connecticut. He did help me diversify my soul with a very nice investment strategy based on long-term altruistic spiritual growth.

    Adores: 8
  15. 2011 October 30
    Windrose permalink

    I shall have to avoid commenting today because, 1. I like Obama, and 2. I would wear this. Proudly. I’d also make four more with each of the family’s first names on them, and maybe one more for the doggie. And I’d get fired for showing any political preference at work, and I’d end up on the street corner trying to sell the darn things. Also if you read the web comic Sinfest, you know about Barock Star, so enough said.

    Adores: 2
  16. 2011 October 30
    Dan permalink

    To be sure, absolutely no political message is intended or implied here – we’re just making fun of Sparky. Although it is sort of a blast from the past, isn’t it?

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 October 30
      Windrose permalink

      Dan, absolutely understood. Sparky is hopeless and changeless. 8)

      Adores: 1
  17. 2011 October 30
    nonsensicalcat permalink

    I think y’all are being too harsh. Obviously, Sparky is a genius. He spelled Swarovski, stainless, and bracelet wrong on purpose. Because he knows it isn’t any of those things, but the other people on almighty Craigslist do not. Therefore, when they buy this beautiful* piece of jewelry and then, upon receiving it, realize that it’s a bedazzled plastic dog collar, Sparky cannot be held accountable for dissatisfaction. Brilliant!

    *not.

    Adores: 4
  18. 2011 October 30

    Bombdude should buy this, he could rearrange the letters to: A MOAB

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuGrDSP0rj8

    Adores: 1
  19. 2011 October 30

    In Soviet Russia bracelet give you sore-ass-ski.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 October 30
      Jen permalink

      In Soviet Russia bracelet give you sore-ass-ski.

      How to tell if you’ve misinterpreted the correct placement of your jewellery, Part I.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 31
        D = DM permalink

        He wore this bracelet… up his ass… for five years.

        Adores: 0
  20. 2011 October 31
    Windrose permalink

    I think I just will skip my own punch this time. All the honor can go to Sis and Dave and the Tribe. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Mr. President!

    (One advantage to being up this early is that no one is likely to ever read this!)

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 31
      LimeLolly permalink

      Or you’re probably wrong about that….

      Punchity punch, Windy. Hey, wait, don’t fly away!

      Adores: 1
  21. 2011 October 31

    *Click*

    Sigh

    *Click*

    Sigh

    *Click… Click*

    Sigh

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 31
      LimeLolly permalink

      They never leave the secret door unlocked, do they?

      Adores: 1
  22. 2011 October 31
    funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

    Yep, here we are again. Time to break out the emergency provisions?

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 31

      I think we should… PANIC!

      AAARRRRRGHHHHH!!!!

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 October 31
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        *slaps on the war paint, blows the conch shell*

        The Beast! The Beast!

        Adores: 1
  23. 2011 October 31
    Windrose permalink

    You folks have too much fun on mornings like this. If I had known it was gonna be a wee bit late, I would have sent up a flare and gone into the Command Center ™ for the spare set of keys to the front door. But I went back to bed instead.

    Adores: 0

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  1. Bling we can believe in « Inappropriate Obama Merchandise

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