Happy first full day of spring, everyone!
12ft boat w/ 25hp johnson
Sunken and frozen. First come first serve.
Commence off color jokes about 25hp Johnsons in 3… 2… 1…
(Thanks, Ralph!)
It’s a well known fact that the American shopping mall is in decline. Sbarro just filed for bankruptcy, you know. This steady fade has been attributed to a variety of factors: the internet, the recession, Mesopotamia.
But I think it goes deeper than that. I think the management of these temples of American capitalism have just not been forward looking enough. They haven’t managed to predict the future with sufficient accuracy.
Fortunately, one mall is getting right on that:
Tarot Card / Palm Reader Needed For [location] Mall
Hi We are Looking For A Tarot Card / Palm Reader With Exsp. For [location] Mall. two Days a week. Pay Is Great! Keep What You Earn! You Most Be Professonal, Accurate, And Dressed .
All You Need To Do Is Sit Relax and Help People And Earn Money Call For a In-Person Interview ###-###-####
I’m certainly glad this palm reader is required to be dressed. Naked shopping mall employees tend not to work out so well. That’s what happened to Sbarro, right?
Thanks for the post, Meredith!
Can anyone use these?
Some rolled up chain link fence and some concrete rocks and not concrete rocks. Don’t know how much fencing there is. Please email me your phone number and u will call you to arrange time for pickup. Thank you 🙂
This is so Zen I can’t even stand it. I’m going to call myself to arrange a time to pickup some not concrete rocks. With one hand, obviously.
Thanks, Jason.
Here’s two ads posted in the same [location]:
Free: Feral cat colony feeding containers
I have several containers used for feeding our neighborhood strays that I no longer need. Picture shows fraction of what’s available.Please respond only if you are serious about picking up.
Hmm… I wonder why she no longer needs the containers for feeding her neighborhood strays?
Free: Pill bottles
I have 3-4 bags of empty pill bottles. They are great for storing small items or craft projects.
PLEASE respond only if you are serious about picking up. Thanks!
Oh. Because she poisoned them all.
Thanks for this horror story, Suzi!
gorge forman free
I have a gorge foreman for free.works great just don’t like it. .in box.
“Hey Foreman!”
“What?”
“Have a sandwich!”
“Okay!”
*munch munch munch*
“Now have another one”
“Wait, I’m not sure..”
“Now eat this hamburger!”
“Wab a mibute im stiwweating the sammich”
“Here’s some hot dogs!”
“Stahp! Whaba you doin’?”
“Like it says on the gril…”
“I phtink your rheabig phat ron..”
“Shut up and eat this quesadilla, Foreman!”
(Thanks for the post, Ralph!)
Hey there! Do you want a job? Do you like numbers? Do you not care if the numbers are in any particular order? Then we’ve got something for you!
Field Traffic Data Technician
Field Traffic Data Technician (Part Time)
Compensation: approximately $15.00 per hour (plus gas, motel and other expenses)
Are you looking for supplemental income? Do you enjoy traveling and
working outdoors?We are seeking responsible, experienced and motivated individuals to
join our field staff in [location]. Field Technicians are
responsible for collecting and reporting vehicular, pedestrian and
bicycle traffic information using different equipment and techniques
such as electronic hand-held devices and tube-based, road installed
automatic counters as well as other technologies. Basic training will
be provided but you must be able to grasp concepts quickly and be good
with technology.Minimum Requirements:
– Ability to perform labor intensive field work.
– Must have your own car and clean driving record.
– Must have your own computer (PC not Mac) with high speed internet connection.
– Must have your own cell phone.
– Strong knowledge of computers, including Microsoft Word and Excel.
– Ability to read, translate maps and travel within 50 – 100 miles on
daily basis.
– Must be able to accept single-day and multi-day projects on very
short notice (e.g. 24hrs). Multi-day projects may require overnight
stay in various cities for up to 1-2 weeks.
– Good communication skills and detail oriented.Preferred Requirements:
– Preference will be shown to candidates with experience in the same
or similar field. – Technically minded, with problem solving skills
and a willingness to learn.
– Ability to adapt to varying job conditions.
– Highly reliable, hard working and motivated.To Apply: Send your resume in Word or PDF format to
########@yahoo.com. Subject line of your email must be [location].You must also copy, paste and answer the following questions in the
body of your email. Submissions without a completed questioner will be
rejected.FIRST NAME:
LAST NAME:
PHONE (CELL:
PHONE (HOME):
EMAIL:
ZIP CODE WHERE YOU RESIDE:7. Do you have a car?
8. Do you have a cell phone?
11. Do you have a PC (Not MAC)? If yes, what operating system?
9. Do you have a clean driving record? If not, please explain. E.G.
Accident, Speeding Ticket, DUI, ETC:13. Do you have any experience with construction type work? Please explain.
10. Have you ever been convicted of any criminal activity?
1. Are you currently employed? If yes, part time or full time? If no,
how long have you been unemployed?3. What is the highest education level you’ve completed?
4. What was your annual salary in 2009?
5. What is your expected income for 2010? [Note: this ad was submitted to us in 2010 – we’re just a little behind]
6. If hired, are you available to start ASAP?
2. How many hours per week can you dedicate to this job?
3. Are you comfortable traveling long distances (100-200 miles) and
staying in various motels to complete various projects?How much advance notice do you require to be able to take on short
distance projects (no overnight stay required)?How much advance notice do you require to be able to work on long
distance projects (overnight stay required)?12. How would you rate your computer skills (1-10, 10 being an expert)?
14. How long have you resided in [location]?
15. How familiar are you with [location] streets and highways (1-10)?
16. Do you use a GPS or map to find your way around when driving?
17. Do you prefer to work indoors (office environment) or outdoors?
Clearly the correct answers to these questions are yes, yes, yes, no, maybe, 27, a badger, “Electric Ladyland,” Dick Cavett, a raft of penguins, and April 3rd, 1972.
In that order.
Thanks for the submission, Onna, hope you’re still reading!
