Here’s a nice tale of redemption, courtesy of Kenneth. This ad was posted to Craigslist recently:
Quin matters
Good condition quin mattress and brand new box spring for free to first person respon.emai me your phon number I’ll text you my address to PU today please .
Normally, we’d be perfectly happy to mock this person, safe in the knowledge that nothing will ever shake their rock solid certainty that this is somehow an accurate or informative way to use the internet, or for that matter the English language.
But in this case, we’d be wrong. Just a few hours later this person picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and tried again:
Quine mattress
Very good Quine matress with below on top and box spring ..free smoking ,pet .
See? MUCH better!
jaguar s type Low mail – $5900
2001 jaguar s type Low mail odometer: 76000
I have jaguar s Low mail
good car
76.000
Cline title
V6 3.0
RWD
Luther
Son roof
Serious buyer only and cash is preferable. Interest? Please call me @ [number]
And . [different number]
Wow. Such car! So title! Very Luther!
Wow!
Thanks for the post, sd!
Condoms
I have some Trojan Bareskin latex condoms that I got as a bridal shower gift but my husband does not like them. I have 18 of them. Must pick up before 2pm.
Sadly, this person did NOT misspell “bareskin” as “bearskin,” or this snark would have pretty much written itself. As it is, I shall have to manually point out that while condoms DO have expiration dates, they generally do NOT, to my knowledge, have expiration TIMES. That could give a whole new meaning to the rhythm method.
Thanks for the post, Jason!
Brand New Enclosed Cargo Hauler 32′
dump trailer hydraulic parts
life two did try!
221,
haulmark trailer fenders
been stop who write?
32 3 car trailers for sale
must world know right read just home learn since be.
stop is can these had. used big tex dump trailers
by under most. 458, utility trailer axles suppliers so try went no! in like came.
gooseneck livestock trailers 82 268
166,
let’s sell a trailer suddenly without thinking
under honest tags,
a Sparky
does.the brain of cleverly-crinkling
-seller pursues the angry dream
of the trailer. By midnight,
a moron
scratches the skin of the industry leading pricing options
thanks
for the post.
Melanie
5 foot maroon love seat willing to listen to offers – $125 (Lincoln)
There’s some text with this one, but it’s not important. This is a 5 foot maroon love seat willing to listen to offers, folks — do you realize how rarely 5 foot maroon love seats are willing to entertain offers? Usually they just hang out and insist that you go see the movie THEY want to see, just like last weekend when they asked what you wanted to do and you said that you really wanted to go see “The Fault in Our Stars” and the 5 foot maroon love seat didn’t respond at all and then about five minutes later said, “Let’s go see the X-Men movie.” Or the time you tried to get it to realize that its flirting really upset you, and it promised it would take your feelings into account, only for you to find it at the bar hanging out with that ottoman from down the street. Or the time you tried to get the 5 foot maroon love seat to stop invading the Ukraine, and it said it was totally listening to you and it wasn’t building up its military forces on the border, but it actually was anyway and then went ahead and invaded even though you asked it very nicely not to.
So this 5 foot maroon love seat is different, see?
Thanks, Amy!
BLUE NOISE (PUPPY)
HELLO I HAVE A 1 YEAR OLD BLUE NOISE . GREAT WITH CHILDREN AND OTHER DOGS. PLEASE EMAIL ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU MORE INFO AND PICS
THANK YOU
Ah Blue Noise. The legendary jazz/punk label was founded in the heady year of 1982, when Lester “Chicken Lips” Jones was released from his contract with Atlantic records. Known for being able to solo brilliantly over the extremely difficult “Giant Steps” changes despite being unable to do so over a 12-bar blues, Chicken Lips was deemed unemployable by the jazz establishment.
This anti-establishment mentality was a perfect fit for a partnership with Sid Rotten, a wanna-be British punk rocker from Topeka, Kansas who shared the Sex Pistols’ gift for petty larceny and self-destruction, but had nowhere near their instrumental or vocal prowess. After rejecting “Rotten Lips” as the name of their record company due to trademark infringement, the two settled on Blue Noise, and went on to release some of the least significant Jazz Punk music of the 1990s, including the Dead Kenny Burrells, Off Minor Threat, and Rancidney Bechet.
The label eventually dissolved after Jones and Rotten got into a shouting match over whose turn it was to go for doughnuts, and the assets were sold off for a dollar on Craigslist.
Thanks for the opportunity for the history lesson, Ralph!
