YSaC, Vol. 1272: It’s a terror not knowing what this dog is about.

2012 June 12

Mini dog FREE


Free dog. Its an mini shoazer mixed with an toy rat terror.
Txt only at this number xxxxxxxxxx
SHE HAS MILK!
Baby wouldn’t take the milk.
But she still has it

Her milkshake brings the boys to the yard. Damn right, it’s better than yours. She’d teach you, but she’d have to charge.

The dog could also probably teach this person how to spell schnauzer and terrier. Would that make the dog a schnerrier? Or a terauzer?

pitbull pup 8 weeks – $600


im not selling i just want the money i paid comes with 1 year full insurance and had shots already.

Right, I see how this isn’t selling. Selling involves a transaction where money exchanges hands for goods or services, and since you already paid for the dog, this isn’t you selling the dog.

Oh, wait just a minute. Oh, you’re clever after all. You’re not planning on giving up the dog, are you? You’re going to take the $600 from someone and keep the dog, since you’re not selling it, which the ad clearly states. You, sir, are a brilliant entrepreneur.

Thanks, HamCan and Mira!

40 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 June 12
    kelli permalink

    Wait, is Sparky 1 trying to get his baby to drink milk from a terrifying rat?

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 June 12

      Toy Rat Terror was a failed remake of Child’s Play.

      Adores: 8
      • 2012 June 12
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        It’s also my Modest Mouse cover band.

        Adores: 10
    • 2012 June 12
      funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

      Haven’t you heard? Rat milk is the newest thing, all the hipsters drink it in their cereal.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 June 12
        wanda permalink

        Goat cheese is so last decade. Rat cheese is where it’s at.

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 June 12
          funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

          Ew. You say “rat cheese” and I see cheese with hair in it.

          Oooohhhh. I have to lay down. Do we still have Pepto in the lounge?

          Adores: 2
      • 2012 June 12

        And it comes pre-flavored; you can get it in Cheese, Cardboard, or Old Garbage. (That last one’s not really a big seller.)

        Adores: 6
        • 2012 June 12
          wanda permalink

          Ghostie, you got in my head! And my Greek yogurt is not so tasty this morning. (I will not look at the ingredients, I will not look at the ingredients)

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 June 12

          I thought I could hear soothing ocean sounds!

          If you’re at all squeamish I recommend that you never ever read the USDA’s Foreign Materials Manual. It’s scary.

          Adores: 7
      • 2012 June 12
        Lola permalink

        Heard about an establishment in London that was selling either ice cream or yogurt made from breast milk (human). No thank you.

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 June 12
          wanda permalink

          I’m picturing this

          Adores: 5
        • 2012 June 12
          funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

          Ah, Wanda! No no no no no!

          Note to self: No more clicking on any links from Wanda.

          Adores: 6
        • 2012 June 12

          Greek yogurt is made with real Greek milk.

          Adores: 5
        • 2012 June 12
          funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

          But are those cookies made from real Girl Scouts?

          Adores: 10
        • 2012 June 12
          Lola permalink

          These animal crackers are made from animals!*

          *Please don’t ask which ones. You really don’t want to know.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 June 12
          Digitalaxis permalink

          Remind me to never order the vegitarian stew…

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 June 12
          wanda permalink

          Ok, but are the vegan brownies alright?

          Adores: 2
      • 2012 June 12

        Fat Tony supplies the rat milk, doesn’t he?

        And this is going to end up so much further down the thread it’ll make no sense whatsoever.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 June 12
          Lola permalink

          He does. And then the rats are sent to sleep with the fishes (who don’t, to my knowledge, produce milk).

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 June 12

          There are actual milkfishes though.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milkfish

          (It’s weird the things my brain holds onto; I can’t remember where I put my car keys this morning, but I can remember a nearly-extinct species of fish.)

          Adores: 3
  2. 2012 June 12

    I’m not selling the pit bull puppy. I’m bartering it.

    Adores: 5
    • 2012 June 12
      Bombdude permalink

      Wit’ a one year warranty against defective workmanship…

      Warranty not valid if exposed to water, extreme heat or left in direct sunlight

      Adores: 0
  3. 2012 June 12
    CapnMac permalink

    Rat terrier is a terror.

    Adores: 2
  4. 2012 June 12
    wanda permalink

    Awww, Sparkpup is rat-tose intolerant.

    Adores: 15
  5. 2012 June 12
    Gary permalink

    “Or a terauzer? ” I’m thinking a ‘terrorizer’.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 June 12
      Digitalaxis permalink

      Or “Trouser”

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 June 12
        wanda permalink

        Perfect! If the mom and pup ran away, they’d have to search everywhere looking for their trousers.

        Adores: 6
  6. 2012 June 12
    funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

    “Baby wouldn’t take the milk.”

    First nobody puts Baby in the corner, now she won’t take the milk. I’m beginning to think that Baby needs a little attitude adjustment.

    Adores: 12
    • 2012 June 12
      wanda permalink

      Maybe the pit bull has a time slot open to give a lesson in manners and etiquette.

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 June 12
        LimeLolly permalink

        Pitbull teaches the art of International Love. That’s quite enough terrorizing.

        Adores: 4
      • 2012 June 12
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        I’d pay good money to see a reboot of Dirty Dancing with Kristen Stewart as Baby, and a rabid pitbull as Johnny Castle.

        Adores: 9
        • 2012 June 12
          mud "Milky No Way!" slicker permalink

          “Nobody puts Baby Bella in the corner!”

          Adores: 1
  7. 2012 June 12

    How much is that doggy on Craigslist?
    That one with the curdly milk.
    How much is that doggy on Craigslist?
    I hope that the doggy isn’t being sold.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2012 June 12
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    So the answer to GOT MILK? here would be YES. Sparky shoulda led with that.

    Still, I can’t get past the unsettling notion that an perfectly good shoazer-terror is being banished just because her lactic output does not meet the high standards of the gourmet pup. Are they perhaps planning on replacing her with a grey seal (richest milk in the animal kingdom sez google)?

    Adores: 2
  9. 2012 June 12
    Brer Fox permalink

    I can take bad spelling, I can take poor puncuation, but I just can’t handle it when someone uses “an” improperly. It hurts and I don’t like pain. Perhaps I’ll see you all tomorrow.

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 June 12
      wanda permalink

      I feel your pain when someone uses “irregardless”.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 June 12

        Or when someone wants to “axe” you a question.

        Adores: 6
        • 2012 June 12
          Bombdude permalink

          Or “Axe” their body?

          Adores: 6
  10. 2012 June 12
    Ralph permalink

    If nothing else, the first dog might be tasty if cooked. And grill ye terrors, grill.

    [corey] The craigslist “Pets” section prohibits selling animals, but allows modest “rehoming” fees. The craigslist Pet Posting Police frequently flag listings they consider to be sales, leading to entertaining flame wars over How Much Is That Doggie in the Window. [/corey]

    Adores: 5
  11. 2012 June 13

    Ralph, hope you caught up on your reading while in the box. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, vermicious knids!

    Adores: 0

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