YSaC, Vol. CXXX
IT’S GETTING COLD!!! TIME FOR NEW WORM CARPET
[sound of needle scratching across record]
What?
That’s an image I really didn’t want to have in my head. I’ll never look at shag carpets the same way again.
The other amusing thing about this ad is …
Carpet is a natural insulator, providing additional warmth in cold seasons. It reduces a home’s noise level, eliminating or muffling distracting clatter. Soft underfoot. carpet also provides a comfortable, non-slip walking surface that reduces leg fatigue. Importantly, a resilient layer of carpet minimizes the danger of injury from falls and accidents.
Best of all, carpet is a beautiful home furnishing that can add elegance, comfort, and fashion to any setting. Extremely versitile, carpet is available in an extraodinary selection of styles, patterns and colors, to fit every style and preference.
Call us to schedule an appointment.
Free estimatesxxx-xxx-xxxx xxx-xxx-xxxx
They spend the entire ad talking about how great carpet is, and then the pictures are all of wood floors or of some guy cleaning what is obviously a really dirty carpet — just to remind you of how dirty those worm carpets can get, I suppose.
Maybe the photos of bare floors are there in a misguided attempt to show you the “before and after” process of carpeting your floor. Look at how shitty these bare, beautiful polished wood floors were before you added that sweet, delicious carpet. Mm-mm!
Sweet, delicious worm carpet.
That sounds like a euphemism for something, but I don’t want to know what.
Worm carpet really does exist – they had it at a seedy, er… I mean exotic hotel I stayed at once. I’ll admit that the earthworms didn’t look particularly pleased to be caught up in the loops of the badly faded orange and brown shag but I’m sure it was only because it didn’t go well with their Spring coloring.