YSaC, Vol. CXXVIII
2008 November 24
TO GIRL WHO BOUGHT DESK TOOK DRAWERS BUT NOT DESK – $90
TINA, COME GET THE BODY OF THE DESK. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME, HERE IS MY NUMBER, CALL ME FOR DIRECTIONS. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? COME GET ‘ER. I NEED THIS DESK GONE ASAP, LET ME KNOW OR THE DUST BIN CALLS.
Tina, you heartless drawer-taker, you. Why haven’t you called? (I mean, other than the fact that the guy forgot to provide his phone number even though he said “HERE IS MY NUMBER”.)
I don’t think Tina is coming back. Move on with your life, which is as empty and hollow as your desk.
Submitted by KM — thanks!
How did he let her leave without the body of the desk when he was clearly there (and conscious) when she came and GAVE HIM $90????
I’ve been trying to figure out what Tina wanted with a bunch of drawers and no desk to put them in. All I can come up with is “installation art.”
Holy shit, I put my old desk out on the curb for someone to take for free and that might actually be it. If that desk has broken trim on its right-hand side, then somebody just made $90 from me. well, good for them. Except now THEY’RE stuck with the stupid thing . . .
Yeah,Bonni, but at least they’re not stuck with the drawers.
She paid $90 to get into his drawers? Poor girl.
Without the drawers the day would never end
Without the drawers the road would never bend
When things go wrong, a desk ain’t got a friend
Without the drawers
That field of corn would never see a plow
That field of corn would be deserted now
A desk is built but its no good no-how
Without the drawers
I got my troubles and woe but sure as I know that Jordan will roll
I’ll get along as long as the drawers are strong in my soul
I’ll never know what makes the rain to fall
I’ll never know what makes the grass so tall
I only know there ain’t no love at all
Without the drawers!!
Apologies to Vincent Youmans, Billy Rose and Edward Eliscu, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, et al.
Poor Chester…missing his drawers. Bet it chafes something fierce.
I sneaked in last night and put Sister Lyle in the box. Wonder what will happen when she finds out?
*drags a giant beanbag chair in and gets comfy* Man, it’s been a long, long time… Good to be back in the box!
Have I been around my birds too much? Because my first thought was that the drawers would make great nest boxes. And then I thought that if you hollow out the desk, and put hardware cloth on the front and back, you’d have a beautiful bird cage. Yes, more would need to be done, but those are the basics. Oh well. The desk is no doubt long gone by now, and Tina was abducted by aliens before she could return for it.
You’ve only been around birds too much, when you start eyeing the perch as a great place for you to hang out with a bowl of fruit.
Sparky: “A desk! a desk! my kingdom for a desk!”
Tina: With drawers, my lord? I’ll help myself to the desk.
Sparky: Tina! I have set my life upon casters,
And it will stand hollow of the drawers.
I think there be six armwars in the shed;
Five have I sold today, instead of this.
A desk! a desk! my kingdom for a desk!
One of the best, Hammy, bard none.
Ugh, too much crazy before my tea. No Sparkles, this is the internet, where no-one can hear you scream.
What? Speak up! You sound like you’re on the other side of the world!
But mama Windy, I already broke the stylesheet!!!! I’m afeared if I yell any louder I’ll awaken the zomb
Sister Lyle, WAKE UP! Punchity Punch Punch!
Happy Labor Day, Peter J. McGuire!