found: lion costume
found childs lion costume mixed in with my daughter’s thinsg please contact they smell bad
Fun with anagrams! The text of the ad anagrams to:
I’m unexotic, sinful, cloddish demon. Sharp-witted, healthy mugginess. Blotchy, mad tentacles.
Erm … that puts that tail-thing in an entirely new light, and possibly explains the bad smell.
Thanks, yeticonfetti!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
| WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition. […] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at… | |
| 2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all! […] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […] | |
 | bianchisound on YSaC, Vol CXCII In case anyone ever checks. I just saw this ad and missed everyone here. Enjoy! https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/pho/d/nellis-afb-womans-feet/7164431024.html |
 | Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1800: So long, and thanks for all the bees. Wow, it’s amazing to finally find this site. I’d say I’m late in getting here, but I know I’m right… |
| Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring. I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere… |
All the things?!
And, really…not.a.lion.
It’s like you’re not even trying anymore……
Yeah, that’s clearly Tigger.
Clearly she has never cleaned all the things.
Well, there are alot of things.
Daaaw. Alot of things is so CUTE!
Except that thing over there.
It keeps looking at me funny.
Taco, I am flinging many imaginary doors at you in addition to the real one. An alot of doors is not as cute as an alot of things, though.
Wait, you are presuming that Spark’ means that the items are offensively odiferous.
Spark’ could just mean that the child’s nose does not work well.
Or one of the items is a salted peanut.
I’d argue against that based on the grounds that “daughter’s” is singular and “they” is plural, but it could be just an accident that Sparky put the apostrophe there. Or Sparky could be unsure of his/her daughter’s gender, and so using the gender-neutral singular “they.”
Some Sparkies can be very trying.
If all the things smell, does that include the daughter’s things?
Also, why is Sparky sniffing his (or her) daughter’s things?
And could it be that the smell CAME from her daughters things? Just saying, we’re all a little blind when it comes to those closest to us. But hopefully she’s not in smell-denial. Smell-nial?
I’ll assume Sparky here was not snorting her daughter’s stuff (poor assumption, I know), which means the smell is pungent enough to waft. If Sparky were to ship it, I suspect then that it would be strong enough to set off the bomb dogs, which means you’ll never see it as it’ll probably be taken out in a field somewhere and remote detonated.
“Remote detonate” = “kill with fire” right?
So what else would you do with it??
Humiliate an unconscious hobo?
I have just the candidate, SJ. I think Mr. Winkey is still passed out from last night’s Sterno-fest.
Should I be looking for daughter’s stuff/pungent smell fanfic?
I am not Googling that. I still haven’t gotten over stumbling across SpongeBob slashfic.
Nothing you could give me would make me search “Hobo Erotica”.
How about a couple doors and 6 cups of espresso?
“Go back to orbit, and take out the facility with nukes; It’s the only way to be sure.”
I have no idea how those pictures of me from the Festivus Party ended up on the internet.
Oooh!! “Aliens” FTW!!
I’m glad I wasn’t the only person who knew where that came from.
Note to other prospective Craigslist sellers: “They smell bad” rarely forms part of a successful sales pitch. Nor will it help you reunite found objects with their rightful owners. “Hello? This is the mother of Stinky Stanley. I believe you found his lost not.a.lion costume. Can I come pick it up?”
Get out of my brian!
*looks at what he typed*
Meh. *Submit Comment*
A perfect return, Typo! Welcome back, we missed you!
I always suspected you were brian damaged and/or a Pink Floyd fan.
I’ve been told that a lot, and I ain’t Bryan about it.
But are you with the People’s Front of Judea, or the Judean People’s Front?
I’m with the Popular People’s Front.
My front is pretty popular with some peoples.
Your front is ponchoriffic, LRC.
Splitters!
The not.a.lion costume was left behind by a young fan of A.A. Milne that got a little too bouncy and had a run in with a certain bear. Which would explain the bad smell.
What does a Pooh poot smell like?
Duh, honey.
Wasn’t “Pooh Poot Riot” the first platinum single of “Anal Sausages”?
I thought it was from the first album, Squirrel’s Nutz caught in a zipper
So it’s Not.A.Lion in heat costume, I wondered where babby Not.A.Lions came from.
Well, I’m told that when a mommy not.a.lion and a daddy* not.a.lion. love each other very much, they make bouncy bouncy and before you know it, youl babby can read!
*Except in states where a mommy not.a.lion. and a mommy not.a.lion. or a daddy not.a.lion. and a daddy not.a.lion. can love each other very much. That kind of bouncy bouncy doesn’t seem to produce many babbies.
Why do we assume this is a child’s costume? It being an adult costume would certainly broaden the horizons for the cause of the smell.
“These items have never been on a child, I ain’t lion.”
You know, I am a fan of a good pun…
So you must not have liked that one very much at all.
Well, it was all in good pun.
I thought it was somewhat punny.
So that’s what smelled punny! I thought it was…
nevermind.
Well, we do have to juxtapose Spark’s use of one possesive apostrophe vice any putative missing ones.
We have no information on just who the daughter is. Or the reasons for only recently rifling through said daughter’s possessions.
But, it does seem presumptious to assert that these deorations are Julia’s–especially as that does not reduce the number of ways that the items might be under-luxuruious aromatically.
I guess Josie and the Pussycats were too busy making music and solving mysteries to go to the dry cleaner.
That, or the Kit Kat Klub has fallen on hard times, since nobody comes to the Cabaret any more.
No one goes there anymore, Lola – it always too crowded……..
Wait, but if no one goes…how can it be….hrrrrr????
Yogi Berra, Meredith – Yogi Berra (No, not Yogi Bear!).
People are staying away in droves.
He never did say half the things he done said.
(I think)
I nominate “they smell bad” as simultaneously a great band name and runner up for world’s worst marketing pitch.
What’s the worst, you say?
“Will cause anal seepage with occasional episodes of explosive diarrhea.”
I read “anal seepage” as anal sausage. Not sure which is worse.
*Makes a note never to attend any barbecue hosted by Stacy*
Anal Sausage is IF’s Butthole Surfers tribute band.
With cover band “Rectal Bologna” singing their hit single “Your Tailpipe Shoots Hickory Smoke.”
We’ve even got an all-little people cover band, à la Little KISS.
The Sphincterian Vienna Sausages.
How about Colonic Wein-
Gotta go.
Ok, first time I read that, I saw “wine”…
And there went lunch…
The worst is:
“Our [insert relative here] died on it, but we cleaned it off afterwards.”
Best couch I never bought.
If [relative] died, you really shouldn’t be inserting him, her, or it anywhere.
Doesn’t [relative] live in [location]? I’m pretty sure I met him at the [beverage of choice] cafe while I was there.
I’m pretty sure inserting things in dead relatives is multiple kinds of illegal.
I’m gonna go clean myself off in some fashion that can’t be taken as dirty or euphemistic.
Psst, Astro, you’re in the snark lounge. There is nothing, ever, which cannot be taken as dirty and/or euphemistic if you try hard enough*. This is why we require so much brian bleach.
* I count three in that sentence alone. And two in this postscript.
That, and he’s an adolescent male. We can’t believe his claims of innocence.
I believe I have just spotted the rare and beautiful New Zealand Snarker! It’s not often seen this early in the year. 8)
I just wonder what makes it impossible for her to simply ask the people her daughter may have had contact with??????? I mean, do these people communicate ONLY by CL? This would mean that all other means of communication are either out of the question or have been fruitless. These include:
Asking (Like, with Sparky’s own mouth! )
Phone
E-mail
Grapevine
Billboard
Carrier Pigeon
Sky Writing
Singing Telegram
Seriously, what are the odds that Stinky Stanley’s parents are going to sit back and think: “You know, I wonder where he left his Not. A. Lion gear? I should really check CL to see if one of the neighbors has it”.
@_@ <–this face. ConfusEd.
Don’t forget the new, improved, air mail dogs!
Re: face, where is Lara Llamadurp when we need her?
Wait a minute! That’s IT!
It wasn’t Mom who found this…it was Dad. That explains why the simplest, most obvious choice was NOT the one they went for here.
What about Morse code?
.-.. .. -.- . / – …. .. … ..–..
I may be over-protective but I’d be highly concerned about bad smelling tiger disguises mixed in with my daughter’s things.
“Gee, honey, who’s your new friend in the tiger get-up that stinks,” might be where I started.
“Daddy’s new lady friend wears that to work.”
The wonderful thing about Not.A.Lion.s, is Not.A.Lion.s are wonderful things, their something something rubbers, something made out of springs. Something something bouncy bouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! The wonderful thing ’bout Not.A.Lion.s, is she’s a dirty one.
😉
The wonderful thing about lions
Is lions offensively stink!
I would like to offer this costume
It really is worse than you think!
It’s freaking reeking, streaking, leaking
Fun fun fun fun fun!
But the most wonderful thing about lions is
That this is not one!
You sir are both brilliant and disturbed. It’s interesting how often those two things overlap.
It’s because I switched to one of those rotary one-knob-controls-everything creative faucets, but it’s kind of annoying and I think it has developed a leaky washer. I’ll have to address that before I start spouting David Lynch.
[faucet corey]
Very few modern faucets have washers at all.
Some have o-rings where the ceramic (cermaic for Sparki-use) cartridges seat.
Often the only washers left are the ones on the aerator/filter screen (and on some threaded supply lines).
This is an issue in winter for some, as these modern faucets are hard to make “drip” for freeze protection–they are designed to not drip, even on purpose.
[/corey]
Now, as a guess, shouldn’t Lynch either be oozed, or spattered?
Thaaaaat, Sir, is not one!
This is better than the Tigger song parody I seem to remember writing last time we had a “Tigger is Not.A.Lion.” post.
**attempts to look innocentWhy no, that link in my doors and name is not at all a link to said other parody, why do you ask?**
All I can think of is the show Hoarders.
Seriously, it smells and you can’t stand it. The thing looks like it cost maybe $15 tops to buy, so why… why… WHY not throw it away?
“It could be useful to somebody?” Perhaps? I’m thinking the only person who would use this is Mr. Winky… and he’s already got a chipmunk ears and tail set he much prefers to feline variants.
Don’t mention his name. That will only encourage him. *please don’t wink at me*
I can feel him out there in the shadows…watching us….waiting….WHERE IS HE???!!!
If you’re feeling him out there in the shadows, it may be why he keeps coming back. Stop pandering to his perverted needs and maybe he’ll go away!
[matt]Hey now! Scary, unwashed, leering transients have needs too, you know! I never knew you were so anti-stalkist, Bombdude. For shame.[/matt]
😉
**Teehee**
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perhaps she’s hoping that it is a long-lost, much beloved costume and that, despite the smell, someone out there that trolls Craigslist is missing it so dearly that she’s doing a humanitarian thing by posting it for them to find. Either that or she’s just in denial that her daughter is a freaky furry that hangs out at Cons and gets geek-stank all over her costumes.
Excuse me, I need to go rub soap on my brain now.
I think Geek-Stank should be the opening act for They Smell Bad. Or … “They Smell Bad” is the title of Geek-Stank’s first album.
I think I recognize that avatar.
<.< >.>
Oh, and it goes without saying that if anyone needs me I’ll be in my squirrel costume.
I should hope you recognize that avatar >.> And, for all our sanity, please don’t take pictures of your squirrel costume this time. It is still burned into my retina.
*suspiciously* Someone Taco knows, who gets in the Don’t Suck box on second or third day. Taco mentioned his sister might be snarking. *thinks really hard* No, don’t see a connection. Total coinkydoinky.
Entirely.
I’m pretty sure I saw that picture on one of those stock photo collections online. Cause it’s the internet… and there are pictures there.
Yes… stock photo. Indeed. Not related…. right. >.>
Ly… I don’t acknowledge my relatives in public either.
They’re so weird.
If somebody is trolling Craigslist looking for a beloved, long-lost costume, they’re going to see this post and think “no, it’s a tigger costume that I’m missing, not a lion costume.” And the reminiscing person will scroll past the item with which their heart so longs to be reunited.
‘Cause it’s probably too big a coincidence to think the person missing the costume sparkies as much as this poster and is clicking on links for lion costumes instead of tigger costumes.
I don’t know that I would give a person looking for a stanky tiger costume the benefit of the doubt. But hey, I’m an optimist who believes that a person of negligible intelligence should be reunited with their funky not.a.lion duds.
I used to think that there would not be many people who would confuse a lion with a not.a.lion.
But now I read You Suck at Craigslist.
Gunnar Madsen said that big bad smell was the ‘Old Baloney’ in his locker.
Good object lesson: Don’t keep your lunch and your costume in the same place. Most people look silly wearing lettuce with mayo.
But some people look good wearing nothing but whipped cream.
Herb Alpert and whoever designed his album cover certainly thought so. (When I was a kid, we thought it was scandalous upon discovering it in the parental record collection.)
……
Yep, time for some brian bleach
(Yes, that was misspelled purposely)
I don’t know. Wearing nothing but whipped cream makes it kinda hard to play raquetball.
*Oh drat, walked right into that one.
But that’s all the fun of it! Well, maybe not ALL of the fun, but a substantial amount
Happy Bobby Burns Day, one and all! If you so choose, raise a tot of finest Scotch tonight in his honor. And if you don’t imbibe, have some butterscotch. I think Bobby would be pleased.
*hic* Sssschotlanddd, hoo boy! Or something like that.
(The flask apparently has single-malt Laphroaig today.)
I had a roommate in college who had a bottle of that. When he said the name, I heard “laugh rag” and thought the name sounded unappealing enough to make me not want to try the product. I hope that’s not actually the way you pronounce that name.
I think it’s pronounced something like ‘la-fraig’ (hard ‘g’) but I could be wrong. Does that make it any more appetising, Yancy?
Disclaimer: I have tried Laphroaig, and other single malt Scotch, and actually don’t like them much. Irish whiskey, on the other hand, is rather nice. Just don’t tell Robert Burns I said so.
la-fro-ayG
You should have given it a try. It is the most extreme of any malt whisky – iodine, peat, seaweed in abundance. Definitely an acquired taste. I like it, but not every day.
Hope that helped.
Mmm, Laphroaig and CoffDrops.
That sounds so…….
What’s the word I’m looking for?
As long as it isn’t expired cough syrup, I’m willing to try it.
My drink of choice is Grand Marnier. When I’m feeling adventurous I fill a shot glass to about 2/3 or 3/4 with tequila and top it off with Grand and nuke it for about 9 seconds. I always take my Grand warmed. I love that aroma.
Strange but true story. There is a formerly homeless author/poet in Tucson named Bobby Burns. He’s no relation to the Scottish one.
Och, dear WR, thae pre’fr’t diminutive fra aur favor’t poet bae “Rabbie.” In a pinch, “Robbie” suffice’t–but “bobby” is a term for uniformed Peelers, nae poets.
A’thou, ane braw’ Constable bear’n ane Haggis twa bae weelcom ane all. An’ ane Ode visit’d upan said dear confection. T’w’uld bae mete an’ just ta nae note the fleas upan such as tw’ld be tae grate thase gee’ing us ane sing’l malt.
Twill be a shy and thin nigh’ frae m’self; naught but barley soup ane an wee dram tae gae wi’ the words ane bra’ bard.
Sláinte
The only thing worse than listening to a thick Scottish accent is trying to read one.
I sit corrected, my dear Capn. Robbie it should have been.
Woohoo! My first visit back in ages and I can still understand Cap’n speak! Success!
Also, the city where I went to Uni is very consciously modeled after Edinburgh and there were two pubs, three bottle stores, a dairy, a couple of statues and an Official Haggis Club named after “oor Rabbie”. I think he’d have been pleased. 🙂
Bees be upan ye, bonnie lass; ane faire songs ane odes tw equ’a bonnie ane ye.
[side note: The only online resource harder to find than Scot’s Gaelic translation would be Erse (Scot’s English); sanskrit and mayan seem to have more extant conversion services at hand. This is difficult to not color with anti-Caledonian prejudice.]
The Scots just need to get on it, then. As it’s the internet, it isn’t as if someone’s keeping them off. Though they may be distracted by that bottle of Famous Grouse over there. Particularly last night/this morning.
Not-a-Lion, Not-a-Lion, burning bright,
In the closet, out of sight.
What immortal hand of hell
Could produce that ghastly smell?
ADORE ADORE ADORE!!!! So many doors, Innana.
Thankee, ma’am!
Doors? *Thinks for a moment*…
I dont get it….
*Reads more*
Ohhhh…. AHAHAHAHA
Welcome! If you have any questions about the
nonsenseinside jokes, feel free to ask.In case you didn’t get it, doors are adores – clicking the little +1 after a comment. So throwing doors at someone is a compliment.
Also, weren’t you pink yesterday?
Thanks, and will do.
…. I think I was…. *Checks* Okay, I am almost certain that I was, in fact, pink yesterday
The avatar is linked to the email address you enter. So if you used a different one today, you got a new avatar.
I’m pink everyday.
Aha. I have two emails with mostly the same name (Don’t ask me why, I just do)
I think I fixed it now. Thanks!
Yup, now you’re pink.
Since you’re now the proud owner of two quilt squares, you could alternate and have conversations with yourself. : D
Or you could go to Gravatar and put the same picture for both email addresses, and then it won’t matter which one you use.
Ah, I could switch the picture, but that would be too easy. I need complicated solutions to simple problems
Then you have come to the right place.
*Raises hand* Question!
Why do we all spell a lot “alot” ? I always thought it was two words
We’re referencing this, an awesome blog. Sneaky hate spiral, “this is why I’ll never be an adult,” and “clean ALL the things” (or really, and “verb ALL the nouns”) are all references to stuff she’s posted.
Go. Read. Be entertained.
It is and we don’t. Well, except when used in a sarcastic way. Or when we are referencing the Hyperbole and a Half post about Alots. Or when we just typo it…
I think I have now solved all of my issues with YouTube now, except for trolls.
That was almost as great as 42. I’m going to call it Blog 41
Edit: Incase if you havent googled it, or watched the recent Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy movie, 42 is the catulation to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, and this is true because Google said so
42 is also the epitome of sublime games one may play with dominoes. Which is clearly not coincidental to the cognocenti <G>
Since it has not been brought up of late, please note that we have a “Wikipage” with some of this zaniness explained.
ONLY the recent one, Sinvius?
Because I’m pretty sure that the earlier miniseries, the stage shows, the radio plays, the comics, the computer game and the book(s) they are all based on established 42 as THE ANSWER somewhat before the most recent movie.
Of course, if we were to decouple cause and effect so that time were no longer linear, then that might not be true any more.
Douglas Adams would *certainly* approve!
Edit: Incidentally, there is a very clear connection between Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency and one of the Dr Who scripts done by Adams. I just don’t know which one. I caught a segment on TV and said to myself, “Self, if Adams didn’t write that, someone owes him royalties. Or maybe the other way around depending on which came first in our particular perspective of time.”
Oops. The radio series came first.
That’s points against my Geek License.
Pssst, Moira… speaking of Dirk Gently, I presume you’re aware of this.
Although I never said ONLY the newest, my Geek License point count has gone majorly down for not knowing about these. I live under rocks most of the time
We would have loved to live under rocks! You have it posh. We just lived in a hole in the road, it didn’t half flood when it rained. Live under rocks, that’s progress.
Ahh, I’ve found that living in caves works best, ‘cept in the wintertime, because the moss insulation falls off on half of the cave (Yay, Flying Circus!)
It’s a great way to meet people
Aye, being an hermit is a great way to have new neighbors–other than that poor Mr Gilpet down on the moors, pinin’ and howling like that[sigh] . . .
/Aside/Leg it! the Colonel’s coming to say this is Too Silly!
I did a full reconstruction of that one eons ago for Mudsy, back before MF was our daily poet. Now if only I could find it…
Still have a copy on my PC. Whew. Perhaps we could add a few stanzas and turn it into an epic =P.
Well, it’s definitely not a lemon-fresh hell, that’s for sure.
Lemon-Fresh Hell is like Hell’s reception area. To get to Not.A.Lion.-Stank Hell you have to take the elevators.
As Taco Heads into his 25th hour of consciousness he PINEAPPLE!
Sorry. As I was saying, he begins to have problems focusing on VEGGIE-FRUIT ROLLUPS WOULD BE AWESOME! *Spins around in his chair while chugging his 7th coffee*
I FEEL LIKE A STICK OF BUTTER! SLIDE ON BABY!
*Falls out of his chair*
Hey look, an M&M mini is hiding under my desk. Hello there!
Hey, as long as you’re punch-drunk, could you braise roosted cabbage bunker shorts?
Are you sure that’s coffee and not expired cough syrup? In a sleep-deprived state the two can taste the same.
Hey, save this for tomorrow when EB will be in an altered state of consciousness too!
Taco, that reminds me of a sign in a bakery shop in my neighborhood (which offers coffee): “Drink Coffee! Do stupid things faster!”
I kind of want to hang that over my desk.
I think that should be my national anthem!
If I were a country… which I might be!
Check it out, it’s a preview for how I’ll be tomorrow :-p
Don’t be silly.
You wouldn’t drink seven cups of coffee. You’d drink seven cans of Monster.
9 naow!
Nine ryhmes with a lot of things… like mine, nein, fine, brine, stein, twine, swine, spline…
Have the hallucinations started yet?
No, but I now know what it’s like to be buzzed beyond the 7 winds of… stuff… while at the same time tired to the point of internal brain seppuku.
It used to be so much easier pulling all nighters… before I started pretending to be an adult.
You know, if you add a space, you become a dult, whatever that is. Oh look,, commas! ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
These may be followed shortly by comas. . .
Uh… it’s no correction Tuesday. We uh… don’t go back and correct misteaks. It is tuesday right?
I think my blood vessels would explode if I were to drink 7 cans of Monster. Especially tomorrow, because the pill I’m taking is basically a sleeping pill, and the directions I was given say “Do not consume caffeine within 12 hours of taking this pill.” :-p
If I had nine cups of coffee I’d probably be smelling sounds and feeling colors.
Pink stings a bit.
Octagons taste like magenta.
Fwa, fwa. Es-con froulig an das groba des rou, ekona grou dis.
Nothing says ‘take a pee’ like giraffe skin doors.
Oh, great. Taco’s almost as loony as my Chemistry teacher who told us stories about her running through the rain in high heels while throwing sodium into the mud of Georgia.
::blink blink::
That sounds like a bad idea.
She seems a little off her rocker. In fairness to her, she was hyped up on cold meds, though.
Well, imagining how one carries (presumably elemental) sodium in the rain is bit like conceiving of a white phosphorous cake in MacArthur Park.
+1 to Sparky for correct use of the apostrophe (1 outta 2 ain’t bad)
-elebenty brazillion for everything else
Total score: WTF??
Think your Catulator needs fresh kibble.
I’m getting a total score of “Iridescent Mortgage Saxophone”.
I used a Wildcatulator and came up with Psych notes/ironic moustache.
My catulator must be a wildcatulator knockoff. It says “Fingerstache Charcoal Beanbag.”
sj – The Wildcatulators are mostly human (college students).
Wild Catulator Appears
Go Catabacus!
Catabacus uses divide by Herbert Hoover
It’s Super Effective!
Catulator wanders off to acquire fresh kibble.
Catabacus gained a boosted brazillian Exp. Points!
(Ok… sleep deprivation is getting creepy)
Speaking of Brazillians, have we seen Bridgete lately?
She’s probably busy doing lawyerish things.
Since I don’t have a catulator, I had to do that out by hand. I may have mixed up a sign somewhere.
“Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign”
Hm. My graphing catulator is just spitting SI prefixes at me angrily.
Striped costumes stinky costumes
Dressed in Not.A.Lion style
In the air
There’s a smell
of mildew
Children coughing
People gagging
Chuck them in the trash pile
And on ev’ry street corner you’ll hear
Kitty ears kitty tails
They smell really shitty
Please wash them cuz the stink
Soon it will be laundry day
Next time I find someone else’s stuff in with Mila’s, I’m just going to put up a CL ad and when they don’t answer it after 30 days, I’ll add it to my yard sale pile. I’ll make dozens of dollars!
If my hypothetical daughter came home with something that was; A. not hers, B. resembled a stripper’s work uniform, and C. smelled bad, I would not try to find the owner. I would just throw it out. I would have some serious questions for her preschool teacher as well.
My youngest often came back from her daycare with clothes that were not hers. I’d dutifully return them the next day. I always wrote her name on her clothes and she had a small wardrobe, so I knew what was hers pretty well. One afternoon she came home with a shirt I knew was not hers. I washed and tried to return it the next morning. I told the staff member that this was mixed in with Yi’s stuff, but wasn’t hers. The staff member said it was hers and pointed to her name written on the tag. I looked at the tag and saw it had her name…spelled with the i and the y transposed. I pointed this out to her and she said she’d look into it. I found out when I picked her up, that it had been a gift from one of the teachers who had simply misspelled Yi’s name…which was in big letters on the board in her classroom.
*points over there*
Oooh…looky! I’m in the box with Ly!
Um…Windy? Since I’m honorable mentioned, I presume my punchity-punch will be of the honorable type?
*polishes brass knuckles gently* Oh, absolutely CJ! It will be an honor to punch you out tonight!
OT – rant/sigh/grrrr…… So, the sneaky hate spiral was narrowly averted by the beloved TM, and then today I realize my driver’s license expired on my birthday and I can see the spiral spiraling again! Not only that but I have to renew in person this time. And since I’m the kind of person who is absolutely convinced that today will be the day the cop stops me and when I produce an expired license will search my car and find the box of syringes my d-i-l gave me (her mom’s cat was diabetic..he died..it was sad..) inside for which I have no prescription, and I’ll be calling hubby and telling him to rush right over to the county hoosegow with cash…sigh…I look terrible in orange I’m off to
wrestle the urge to strangle DMV employees as they take their breaks with 47,000 people (no really, I counted) in linerenew my license.*Innocent whistle*
D’awwwwww…..
Good luck CJ!
Take a crowbar with you and mutter constantly under your breath. It’s amazing how fast the line moves when no one wants to stand next to you.
FTFY. Much more effective, trust me.
Seems like a waste of perfectly good chickens. No amount of barbecue sauce can cover up that nasty DMV taste.
Try it with live chickens. 8) Much more fun.
CJ, take heart.
I was stopped for expired registration. I had failed to print out my updated insurance info and put it in the car. My license had also expired. The officer sorta shook his head and asked “how do you DO that?” I answered, “I’m rather stupid about dates and deadlines,” and thanked him for the ticket.
When I took proof of corrections to the courthouse, I printed out the *current* proof of insurance which did NOT cover the period in which I got stopped. The clerk VERY kindly gave me a two-week extension.
And THIS is why I can never be considered an adult.
You’re doing two better than me at this point.
My older sister has been stopped and ticketed three times in the past two months for driving with an expired registration because “It’s too expensive to get the car inspected!” (In NC you have to have your car inspected before you can renew the registration) You know what else is expensive? Paying court costs and fines three times for something you should have taken care of the first time.
Ewww, we have to do the inspection thing in Utah, too. Every year. Along with an emissions test. Every year. I kindof hate it…
If the car is a ’95 or older (hers is much older) it does not have to have an emissions test, just the basic “car is intact and functioning” inspection. Her third court date was last week and she’s done nothing but complain about how expensive the court costs were. She still hasn’t had the car inspected.
If the car is 35 years old (or older) you don’t have to do anything but send in the $20 for registration…
Haven’t seen the inside of an inspection station for years…
It’s an ’86 or ’87, I forget which. Not quite old enough.
We have to do the emissions test every year in Texas. It’s separate of registration and is part of the inspection process.
Wow, I wonder if California knows about this? We just have to do the emissions test every two years, and only on older cars. The inspection bit would certainly bring in lots of revenue to the state. I think we are too liberal for it, though.
Well, technically, only 17 counties (of 254) in Texas require an emissions test with the annual vehicle inspection. Those counties are designated as “non attaining” by USEPA for their alleged “surface level” ozone levels.
They are concentrated into two main areas, metro Houston, and the DFW area. But, El Paso and Austin have been recently added.
It costs $14.50 for most vehicle inspections, except in the “dual inspection” counties. In DFW & metro Houston, the maximum charge is $39.75; around Austin, the maximum is $28.75; in El Paso the maximum is $26.75.
There’s a “grace period” of five days at the end of the last month, so, you sort of can go 13 months between inspections.
Vehicle registration is completely separate, and occurs on the anniversary of your purchase of the vehicle. Not a lot of “grace period” for registration, they may the renewals out 8 weeks in advance. Curiously, it costs a dollar extra to mail the form in and not stand in line at the County Tax Office.
…Or a brunette?
:runs away:
Run very far, Bombdude. I cannot stand “dumb blonde” jokes.
Q: How do you get a one-armed Bombdude out of a tree?
A: Wave.
Q: How do you get a two-armed Bombdude out of a tree?
A: 30 yards of high-yield Det Cord.
How’d ya get him into the tree in the first place?
Carefully placed and timed plastic explosive detonation channeled through a dormant lava tube with a narrow opening.
A: Wave with both arms.
Recoil.
My apologies kelli, for yet another unintentional offense…
Accepted. Wait, another one? What was the first one?
Ok class, get out your pencils and paper, here is tonight’s homework:
Assume that a 50Kg Bombdude is at the rear of a 100 meter frictionless lavatube that makes a perfect fit to his diameter. Bombdude has x amount of plastic explosive straped to his back. Assuming a 20º inclination of the lava tube and using an explosive with a Gurney Velocity of 2.68, how many kilograms of C4 will you need to strap to Bombdude in order to land him in a 5 meter tall tree 4km away. Ignore all losses due to friction and deformation and assume that all the energy from the explosion is channeled directly into Bombdude’s acceleration through the lava tube. Assume the lava tube’s opening is at ground level.
Begin.
(EDIT: And yes, technically this is solvable given that information.)
Wouldn’t that be, his ass-eleration?
Ok, if you dig a hole under him, and a cieling over him, and they are both indestructable, you could have all the fun you wanted and stap 10Kg or more and watch the fireworks
EDIT: It works in MineCraft, I checked!
It works with my math, unless it needs more kibble
CJ, good luck! I hope that you can take care of it without incident and the SHS will stop.
Well, I’m back…and with very little hate spiral. Seriously, though..one person in front of me wanted to change his name and thought he could do it just by getting a new driver’s license.
After the correct process was explained to him he left and the next lady in line wanted to get a new license but she had absolutely no identification on her.
My faith in humanity already on shaky ground I stepped up to the counter and explained what I wanted. The lady had no trouble finding me in the database and she gave me a short form to fill out. Ever read one of those? They’re pretty intrusive, but really kinda funny and the whole crowbar/chicken scenario was covered under a couple of the questions.
I also got my number. I was 72, and the sign on the wall said 67 was being helped. Hmmm…only 4 people ahead of me. Awesome.
As I was filling out the form, I heard two of the three employees ask how many were in line, and when informed that it was 5 they left.
This is where visions of machetes and fire entered my brain.
Were it not for the armed police officers around I don’t know if I would have been able to restrain myself.
Finally, I get called up and after being thumprinted — very Big Brother-ish IMO — the man tells me to stand behind the orange tape and wait for the blue button to flash.
I stood, I waited. Nothing happened.
I scowled and turned my head a little…and then, FLASH!
So, my DMV portrait is one of a slightly disheveled and confused woman with a surly look on her sorta-tilted face.
Perfect.
They do that on purpose, ya know…
It’s their only possibility of having any fun, so I give it to ’em…
You survived! In Tucson, the MVD has about 3 or 4 offices. Most are crowded, but the one on the far north edge is almost always empty. I went there a couple of weeks ago with Mila to get myself a new ID (it hadn’t expired, AZ state IDs never expire, I’d moved many times and the lamanation on the old one was flaking) and to get Mila her first AZ ID. We went to the line to get our number and before the guy even handed us the forms, our number was called. We were out of there in about 15 minutes.
One thing that I continue to be curious about:
How old is the daughter???
I’ve been wondering that as well, whilst simultaneously thinking that perhaps I don’t really want to know.
Yeah, CL has pretty much scared the curiosity out of me.
That’s my next promo item. Smelly Not.A.Lion costumes.
Long time no see!
I’ve been busy not decaying in a natural fashion.
Anyone else notice the bowtie, or am I just that distracted?
The bowtie parts of animal costumes have always confused me. Why are they included? Do animals wear bowties matching their fur patterns? If so, why have I never seen any of them do so? Do they take them off for pictures as some humans do with glasses?
They are included because bowties are calassay… particularly on sexy [noun] outfits.
Hello, dancers. Look at your face, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine! I’m wearing stanky tigger ears from CraigsList. Look at your rear, now to mine. I’m now wearing the stanky tail you could wear if you left it with my daughter.
A box of 3 year old Cap’n Crunch to whoever can clarify what an unblubler is, I got confused from the Wiki definition
Edit: And elebenty brazillion doors to the first one I understand
It’s a Sparky spelling of umbrella.
And you can keep your vintage cereals. Really. It’s okay.
Edit: that reminds me – I keep forgetting to stuff the ballot box on the Vote! post.
Well, we THINK it was supposed to be umbrella. 8)
what the rat in my avatar is holding
[matt] I can’t believe you guys are imputing malodourous emissions to this innocent children’s costume. Children need tools like this to allow their imaginations to run wild in a completely pre-approved, parentally-sanctioned way which just copies the tv show the costume is licensed from in every way.
Further, “they smell bad” is clearly the concerned parent’s name. “[P]lease contact they smell bad”. Just because he/she comes from a culture which eschews capitalisation and names children in accordance with the first phrase uttered by the mother after conception, doesn’t give you all the right to judge. Harrumph and good day! [/matt – I have missed this site so much!]
Welcome back – we’ve missed you!
Oh, I see, you mean the people who live next door to the Gits.
We’d all hear that DrityRotenStinking was stepping out, but most assumed it was with that Luxuryacht cad.
* passes scented soap all around*
I just finished reading all the comments. Y’all probably need this as much as I do.
I’m getting an ad for something called FooPets. They are apparently alive and (apparently) need my love.
I’m gonna go clean myself off in some fashion that can’t be taken as dirty or euphemistic. Again. Regardless of what Jen believes about the nature of the snark lounge.
Oddly, FooPets bill themselves as offering “real virtual pets online.” O.o
remote post test
eta: partial success. well, ok
I’m sorry, we already have a Lola. Can we exchange you for a Sheila or Tracy?
That was me, wirelessly. I’m not sure if that’s the best possible or if it’s just what I can do at this point. At least I know I have that option.
Really? It was you, all this time? Imagine that! Is my face red! Okay, I can’t claim meds of any kind for my wacky posts this afternoon, but I have been home feeling poorly, and may have developed a sensitivity to shrimp. Not Happy.
My father developed an iodine allergy in mid life … no seafood allowed any more at all. Hope you don’t have that. 🙁
Input Requested: Tomorrow I will have the rare opportunity to be able to watch a horrid movie without the repercussion of actually remembering it. Being on Netflix Streaming is preferred. Mr suggests Police Academy 2, mainly because he wants to watch Police Academy tonight. What do you connoisseurs of culture think?
Saturn 3, if they have it. (I’m too lazy to pull up my Netflix) It’s total early 80s sci-fi cheese, and they even dubbed over Harvey Keitel’s voice for some damn reason. I just watched it the other night for the first time since it came out in 1980, when I was taken to see it as a young boy of single-digits. At that time of course, that 8-foot psychotic robot scared the everliving crap out of me to the point where for a week afterwards I wouldn’t walk into my room at night to go to bed, I’d leap on it from the doorway so’s Hector couldn’t grab my legs from under the bed.
Now that I’ve watched it again it still kind of creeps me out, but it’s mitigated by the annoying dubbing. (Everyone’s voice is dubbed in this movie, because I guess they couldn’t be bothered with silly details like boom mics on the sets.)
Either that or Logan’s Run. Yeah, I’m kind of on a sci-fi/horror kick at the moment. Last night it was Videodrome, probably going to watch Brainstorm tomorrow.
While I like the idea, I’m concerned that watching a scary/disturbing movie while in a state of altered consciousness could leave scarring…
Earth Girls Are Easy. 8) Love that movie, but it’s really bad. Good Music, however.
I think you should watch Altered States then, EB!
Think of Life as your own little oyster in a sensory deprivation tank.
*How’d I jump posts? First it was Wednesday and now it’s Tuesday. Must be a time warp during Obama’s SOTUA.*
Meh. I didn’t quite like EGAE, only because of the “Sparky” song – “‘Cuz I’m a Blond”
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark for pure stupid camp. (I know this is on Netflix because I watched it last week.)
The Police Academies are fine flicks, though, as are the Revenge of the Nerds movies for medicated viewing.
Just finished up Police Academy… I think I can honestly say that the only redeeming factor it could possibly be considered to have is the guy that made the sound effects. I could have watched a 5 minute youtube video and been completely satisfied. It wasn’t even enjoyable-stupid, it was just…. stupid. Theoretically there was “romance” and “character development” but apparently it all happened offscreen. Bleh.
Although it’s probably too late, since you’re already “under the influence”, I suggest “Battlefield Earth”. A John Travolta movie that even he has to be ashamed of…
Okay, Ly, here’s your official Don’t Suck card. Hold it up, now, and close your eyes. Punchity Punch Punch!
CJ, this is indeed an honor. Punchity Punch Punch.
G’Night, Party City!
I feel so honored! Abused, but so honored! 😀
Ah, but the abuse here is done with love. Love and fists. Love fists, if you will. Or, erm, maybe you shouldn’t.
No, definitely shouldn’t. Forget I said that.
Love and Fists is IF’s Love and Rockets/War tribute band.
“I’m unexotic, sinful, cloddish demon. Sharp-witted, healthy mugginess. Blotchy, mad tentacles.”
@drmk, thank you. Because you copied the description from the package exactly, I now know I wasn’t the only one who dressed up as Slutty Cthulu last Halloween.