YSaC, Vol. 806: How do you stop a charging rhino? Unplug it.
2010 October 1
I have a nice laptop that doesn’t charge unless you hold cord – $100
what do you got? It is about 3 years old
I’ve got a whale weather vane. This is true. We have no idea where it came from, it just sort of appeared after we moved into our current place.
I also have a box with a bunch of origami cranes, a stuffed “Marvin the Martian,” a command sergeant major’s coin from the Defense Logistics Agency, and way more tomatoes than I know what to do with.
As much as I enjoy taking inventory, why do you ask? Since you already listed a price of $100 for the laptop that apparently draws its current from the ambient electric field of a human body, it seems like you’re really just curious.
Thanks for the listing, Eric!
I have a charger with a working plug that I will trade you for the computer.
I have a copy of “The Gift of the Magi” I can trade you.
Or an O. Henry chocolate bar.
I thought Magi’s gift was an O. Henry. How old is it? My charger is 3 years old……
O. Henry? He’s so old he’s dead. You sure you want to eat that chocolate?
It was Gold, Frankenstein, and Candy. I don’t recall if they were specific on the type of candy. Perhaps Laffy Taffy or Skittles (taste the rainbow!).
What, no one told Baby Jeebus not to take candy from strangers?
But strangers have the best candy Lola.
And really cool vans!
Thanks to you mudsie, this morning I have read “The Gift of the Magi”, learned of O. Henry and William Sydney Porter, and lost the cap to the José Cuervo bottle. All-in-all a great morning!
IAA: I’m sure you can find a replacement cap for the JC* on CL.
*coincidence? I think not.
An Old Irish Blessing
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May you lose the cap to the whiskey bottle.
I thought it was:
“May the sun turn its face to you,
May the wind turn to blow always at your back,
And those that dislike you,
May God turn their ankles so you
will know them by their limping.”
Or something to that effect.
I have a broken hard drive.*
*That’s why I haven’t posted for about a week. Still don’t have MY laptop back.
Sorry to hear it, NMN. I’ve been wondering where you were.
So, do they put a cast on it, or…
Hopefully no cast, the warranty is still good….but I’m probably going to have to reinstall everything. Anyways, anything interesting happen lately, I haven’t been reading the comments. Oh, and I haven’t been using the computer much, I’ve been….busy.
Hmm… Were you around for the Return of the Candyman? Windy did some excellent editing there… And then two days ago, we had a very lyrical day, with… 7 or 8 people in the box for various tunes (I was particularly proud of my CAKE rendition :-p)
Candorman came back? Didn’t he specifically say he wouldn’t come back?
Hi, NMN! Wondered where you’d been.
I can’t remember if Cat Doorman said he wouldn’t come back, but even if he did – I wouldn’t trust anything that wanker says anyway!
Yes, he did say specifically that he wouldn’t come back. Just like I told myself I wouldn’t come back until this bit of my project was done…. :-p
Candyman is like herpes – he comes back when you least desire it.
“Busy” is a common curse upon college freshmen as it nears mid-semester.
Hey NMN! I was also just beginning to wonder where you’d been.
Hi NMN! Sorry to hear about your computer problems. I had assumed some kick ass game had been released and we lost you to it. 🙂
I believe “Thou Shalt Not Take Candy From Strangers” was on that third tablet that Moses couldn’t carry down the mountain.
Guess god hadn’t created backpacks yet as he was too busy smiting people and accepting child sacrifices back then.
Thou shalt watch Stangers with Candy
I heart Amy Sedaris. Total girl-crush.
Candy from Strangers is IF’s Hot Chocolate tribute band.
That’s a pretty big “IF”
That’s what she said.
[snarker corey]IF in this case is short for Irregular Fractal, a somewhat regular snarker who has been noticeably absent lately [/corey]
Thanks, Kelli. I prefer to think that he’s not absent, just at band practice.
I have an appendectomy scar that starts really far dow…..
Just forget it.
Perhaps he’s just looking to compare with fellow Craigslisters. In this case, he picked up a laptop that only charges manually (in the literal sense of the word) for the bargain price of $100, and he wants to see if anyone can do better. It’s a sort of challenge, really.
Me, I got a killer deal on a capybara that can sing La Boheme for $50. Actually that’s the only noise it can make. When it’s hungry? La Boheme. Wants to go for a walk? La Boheme. In heat? You better believe it sings the hell out of La Boheme. To be honest, it’s getting kind of annoying. I just can’t afford to keep giving it $50 every damn time. (It won’t shut up otherwise.) Anybody want to trade? What do you got?
I have a capybara recipe book for trade. If he can sing I’ll bet he can cook too.
I’ve got this watch chain I traded my hair for that I’ll trade you for your capybara.
I hear they taste like chicken.
SJ – You’ll need my recipe book. What do you got? It is about 3 years old.
I have a dozen firm obos.
Well, if you have them for more than four hours, seek medical attention <G>
I have a friend with one of those big a** grills — we could have a capybara pickin’. Is.An.Avatar – do you have a recipe for that?
No, most of the recipes are for the oven or skillet. There is one recipe for a BBQ wok if you know where to get one of those……….
No, but there’s an App for that…
You … you want … to eat my capybara? My singing capybara?! That’s cruel! How could you do–
Je vous parle d’un temps,
Que les moins de vingt ans,
Ne peuvent pas connaître,
Montmartre en ce temps là…
Oh great, look, now you’ve upset him. Now I have to go to to the store and buy something because I only have $20 bills and he can’t make change, dammit!
You’re going to grill a large bottom? I don’t think it’d be worth it–most large bottoms are more fat than meat.
The fat is where the flavor is.
and the proof is in the… pudding?
So that’s what women mean when they wear track pants with “Juicy” written across the arse…
You just don’t want to overcook them. Then they have to wear the “Stringy” sweatpants.
@EB – butt ≠ bottom:
Despite the name, pork butt does not come from the rear end of the hog – it is cut from the shoulder. The whole pork butt is a rectangular roast weighing 6-10 pounds and containing a portion of the shoulder blade bone. It is sold bone-in or boneless; if boneless, a whole roast may be cut into half portions.
capybara = kind’a like a little South American hog
I think you dropped your [corey] tags.
…Wait…
Yeah, I wasn’t talking about pork butt :-p But hey, I learneded something today…
Something tells me Corey missed the transition from Artsy’s
to EB’s question of grilling a large bottom…
Nobody said nuttin’ ’bout no pork butt… 🙂
Does that mean EB has a curly pink tail?
I is confuzzled now.
Corey doesn’t need corey tags. We’ve already determined that this would bring about the destruction of the universe.
Don’t want that on a Friday. Wait until Monday morning to bring about the end of all existence.
[corey correction corey] Actually, the capybara is not a hog, it is the biggest rodent currently alive on earth. [/corey correction corey]
I probably wasn’t as clear as I could have been. I’m a bit off the last 16 hours or so -_- But yes, I was taking about a big a**-grill, rather than a big-a** grill :-p
I thought candorman was the biggest rodent.
There was an ancient xkcd comic about shifting hyphens…
Ahh, there it is. http://xkcd.com/37/
That’s a funny ass-comic.
I don’t do rodents, ‘specially on the “big a**-grill” or the “big-a** grill”. Ewwwwww.
That’s why the restaurant menu lists:
Bon Appétit………
Oh, I wish I had something to trade! Perhaps you would like an 8 track player? I don’t have La Boheme on 8 track, though, and I feel like you might miss it once the Capybara is gone from your life.
Justjess, I’m trying to figure out your avatar. Is that you? Was ET involved in this activity?
Yes, it looks like a giant bumblebee flying off with someone’s Yamakawazuki motorsicle…….
I appreciate your offer, but I don’t think I could fully appreciate the 8-track player with a one-track mind.
Dan*, you do know you could put up a CL ad for someone to take away your “haunted whale weather vane”. Or try putting it in the living room and see where it goes the following night. The llama-nun* would be have a great laugh if it just appeared in her luggage one morning.
*Bees be upon you
**Bees be upon her too.
“Do not taunt Happy Fun Llama-Nun.”
I thought Dan was going to say that the weather vane only works when you point it at the direction that the wind is coming from. That would be a fair trade.
Does it only point at whales? I might be interested in it if it does.
I hear they taste like chicken.
I don’t think so. Since it’s a whale weather vane, I think it tells whale weather. You know, like if it will be raining whales, or blowing whales (insert your own challenge to the line here), etc.
Perhaps it shows which way the whales are blowing?
I only buy fair trade whales.
I would only eat the free range whales though. The conditions in those whale farms are atrocious!
Will it tell whether the weather is warm for whales, whether we wish it or not?
I don’t need a weather vane to know which way the whales blow.
Wait, what?
No one needs a weather vane to know which way the whale blows. It’s always Thar!
This is a very, very bad idea.
Do not give Dan ideas.
Say… I just had this great idea.
Oh, Jeebus.
*ducks*
“Holy Spice Christ, She’s gonna blow!!”
Erm… Well, sorry Llama-nun*, that didn’t come out right…
*Bees and all that…
Well, “parting is such Sweet sorrow” and all that; being on the “no fly” list limits the “parting” issue. but all the body cavity searches tend to spoil the romance of the gesture…
Night, Capn. Don’t let the bedbugzz bite.
The llama-nun* would be have a great laugh if it just appeared in her luggage one morning.
[TSA Experience Corey] Grampmommy packed a wrapped pineapple-shaped decorative candle in my luggage on one trip (a gift to one of her siblings). She neglected to tell me she had packed in in my bag. A candle, of course, has a wire running through the wick. TSA person x-raying carry-on bags sees mine, backs it back up in the scanner, calls another person over, then makes a quiet phone call.
Grampmommy has collected her bag and has headed down the concourse. I get to meet a number of large, heavily armed men who want to know what is in my bag, to which I can only reply, “I don’t know.”
Here’s a clue – that is the WRONG answer.
My educated guess is that the Llama-nun (bees be upon her) would not, repeat not, be amused.
[/TSA Corey]
I just reviewed the rules in the fora, and there isn’t one that says “thou shalt not give the Ostrimu* ideas which will get the Llamanun* tackled by the TSA, or in any way bring Her* to the attention of the United States Department of Homeland Security.” Perhaps this is one of those that the Llamanun* did not think of right away, but should now be adopted ex post facto.
*bees, bees, bees – truckloads o’ freakin’ bees already.
Andie, those are not sincere and sacred bees. I’m afraid you will have to do Penance. Say Three Holy Cows and two Spice Christs, and commit two acts of sincere consumption of honey.
Yes, Ma’am.
**genuflects on way out the door**
Gramps, that totally cracked me up. Of course, I’m also picturing your former Muppet avatar going through all that, which contributes to my amusement.
Well, yeah, we all agreed that someday we’d laugh about it. They didn’t seem particularly amused at the time. Luckily, this was before 9/11, or else I wouldn’t be commenting, and I probably wouldn’t be commenting from some undisclosed location in Eastern Europe or the Balkans.
Grampmommy’s comment when I finally caught up to her – “Gee, what took you so long, I got right through.”
What scares the crap out of me is that the TSA jumps all over you for a candle, and I had four agent swarm me in Baton Rouge because I stumbled while removing my shoes, yet I have traveled internationally with both a pen knife and steak knife in my carry on (that I did not realize was there until I got home) and no one, in four separate countries, noticed this. My husband also has a utility knife in his laptop bag that he often forgets about and no one has caught that.
Well, they will NOW, christina. Don’t you know all them government-type peoples watch the internets, and make it so you don’t get emails? In fact, I’m going to be traveling around the country to prove it. Want to come?
Notice I didn’t say ACLU.
If you find the warehouse with the unicorns that fart rainbows, you have to get me one.
I’d love to, Miss Nomer! I just need to pack my bag. Let’s see…pen knife and steak knife, better grab the box cutter just to be safe. And I can’t forget my beauty supplies, peroxide developer and ammonia based hair color(got to touch up those roots!), glycerine soap, full VOC mousse. I better grab a lighter, my eyeliner works better when it’s warm.
I have a boyfriend with the same problem.
*drum fill*
I live with a drummer/drum maker, Do NOT fill drums, especially with soup. They leak.
I’ll tell you what though, you’ll never listen to Rush’s The Rhythm Method the same way again.
The reason why the natives run away after the drums stop.
They know the bass solo is next.
I don’t mind bass solo, but it’s better with some tartar sauce and a handful of hush puppies.
Now, now… Bass is just as good as Megaman…
I prefer Guinness to Bass, personally.
Alec Guinness? Me too.
Especially if it’s Lance Bass. No contest.
I don’t think ol’ Lance is that interested in you, however.
Half-bass and half-guinness is black-and-tan.
Which is nice with a scoop of coffee ice cream.
I think I’ll have the Bass, grilled, just for the Halibut. Or maybe I’d rather have the clams, shaved, with butter.
***crisp linen towel over arm, order pad in hand, nose firmly in air***
Very good, sir. And may I recommend a nice dom perry yon for you this evening?
Could I get that with pineapple?
So, Grampdaddy, you’re not interested in bearded clams?
I’m amazed he didn’t ask for it with a straw!
Dad, you’re really classing it up tonight!
But then, if you don’t hold his cord, it’s free!
I don’t know what else you’d have to do, but I choose not to think about it.
If you’re having trouble keeping him on his leash maybe you should get one of those shock collars.
I had a girlfriend that would stamp her foot before she charged.
You should probably stop picking up girls at livestock auctions.
Only if she didn’t get the price down to what she wanted…
Make pouty lips too?
Did that not startle the person working the point-of-sale register?
He knows which way the whales blow?
Do the whales blow for thee?
Ask not for whom the whales blow, for they blow for thee…
Perchance he for whom this whale blows may be so ill, as that he knows not it blows for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to blow for me, and I know not that.
If they blow for thee,
Do they blow for free?
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed, there ain’t nothing in this world for free. ~ Cage the Elephant
Many years ago, I had a television that would only display a picture if we used the claw end of a hammer to hold the vertical-hold button down. You didn’t actually have to hold the hammer in place, though – we sort of wedged it against the wall. That TV was worth about what Sparky’s laptop is – nothing. I still have the hammer, though.
In order for my desktop computer’s antenna to pick up a decently strong signal from the router upstairs, I have to hook the tip through the two by three foot panel of half-inch hardware cloth that I put in my bedroom door to improve air circulation.
([more than you want to know about my doors corey]My cat Simon hates my mom’s cat Nikki, so I have to keep him segregated behind closed doors and a quirk of the air conditioning makes my rooms stifling hot if the doors are kept shut. I fixed that by buying two doors at the Habitat store, cutting large holes in them, and then covering the holes with hardware cloth. Problem solved and it boosted my signal.[/MTYWTKAMD corey)
The television that I just tossed had a loose coaxial connection, so it would only work when we had a baseball mitt propping up the cord.
Laptops charge? Hmm…I was always under the impression the only charges were the initial outlay of cash to purchase one.
So, um..Sparky/ette…what does your laptop do that you get charged for?
Please tell me it doesn’t involve t-
shitsshirts…Some computers act as pimps; providing tons of pron for lonely Sparkys…
*squick* I was sooooooo afraid of that……
What constitutes computer pron? Is there a site somewhere showing laptops without their casings? More importantly, do they support themselves with ads for preformance-enhancing software?
I’m told it’s a lot of PC/Mac action. Completely taboo…
Yes SJ, those sites do exist. Most are older, down on their luck machines. Picture a Tandy 386 exposing it’s floppy disk drive below a banner ad for upgrading to a 20″ monitor in only 7 days!
A couple of my coworkers want to start a site called “Geek Pr0n” where they just have pictures and reviews of majorly-top-of-the-line computer parts. They also want to get famous enough that manufacturers will send them bits to review for free :-p
I once accidentally stumbled on some “mature” midget computer pr0n back in the day. Newtons in compromising positions with PalmPilots… you just can’t get those images out of your head. Someone went and made a viral shock website about it called AppleParty.
2 Macs, 1 cup? (bleargh!)
Well, good thing it’s _nice_ about the whole cord holding thing. At least we know it isn’t an S&M laptop that will have you cleaning the dust off it’s screen with your tongue. (I must be over the line…)
Point of Order, sir. If you unplug a charging rhino when it is fully charged, you won’t stop it. You’ll just be taking it off its tether. Unless you are lucky enough to unplug the rhino before it is fully charged, then your hypothesis might work. I propose that the time-tested method of depriving the rhino of a credit card is still the preferred way to stop it from charging.
groan ………
So this is where all the dead vaudevillians go…
Innana’s right. Hey, look! Bert Lahr! The Cowardly Lion, everybody!
At last, a correctly identified lion on YSAC!
“Lahr” a word I have not seen since the subscription to the paper ran out, taking my daily dalliance with despicable crosswords with it.
le Sigh
Capn – you can do many of those despicable crosswords on line, except some of them tell you when you have the correct letters, which seems like cheating, to me. Alternately, there are any number of places where you can print out a daily crossword puzzle for your dalliance.
Online just not “real”; I need no reminder I need black ink for the printer, too (and cat food is more important).
Too much Ozymandias, I.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and…wait, what is a 7 letter title of a novel by Nabokov that ends with an R?
What is “отчаяние” Alex?
*whimpers* I stared at that too long, and now my brain says that was the last straw, and it will be retiring now. I’ll blame you for this project not getting done :-p
Take a break, EB.
How about using some of your html-fu to take another stab at teaching me how to make pretty links. Please? I learned how to do block quotes and make ñs, so now I am feeling confident.
Oooo, I can do that… It’ll have to be split into 2 posts, or else I will be marked as spam :-p
<a href=”http://www.google.com”>This is google</a>
So…how do you do the n with the squiggly line above it? That’d be useful for spanish.
Will show up as: This is google
You can’t forget to add the http:// or funky things will happen….
I like helping… I can make my brain be helpful… Maybe I can still force my brain to data-monkey…. Does that earn me chocolate? I think chocolate would help. I also think they should make a magic internet box that lets chocolate appear on my desk when I don’t have any. I haven’t taken any hydrocodone since yesterday, either….
[Newfound knowledge learned on YSaC corey] NMN, it’s Ctrl-164. Hold down control and hit 164. [/NKLOYSaC corey]
[High school spanish corey] I can say the name of that letter but I don’t know that you can spell it other than ñ. It’s called an En-yay (phonetically). [/high school spanish corey]
OK so I will now practice by linking you to Icanhascheezburger.com.
You Suck At Craigslist
Boo, doesn’t work with Vimperator–on Mac, anyways. For your edification… I use the “Friendly Code” column. That’s how I can make HTML code show up in the comments… using < and > :-p
Also: Andie, I’m pretty sure you forgot the </a> at the end… That’s supposed to close the link, and make it so it doesn’t leak into later comments :-p
Easiest way to deal with special characters in html is the ampersand+symbol+semicolon
The character ñ is ampersand ntilde semicolon, or & ntilde ; without spaces.
An acute “i” is & iacute ; or í
An accent is similar, but called a grave, or & igrave ; or ì
The circumflex (the angled ‘cap’) is circ, î
The umlaut or diaeresis is uml, or ï
This is a “Handy Chart”
For yhose of us who learned ASCII æons ago, n+tilde is ALT+164, where you key the numbers from a key pad. Keypad is a pain to use on a laptop, though (unless you invest $30 very wisely).
You’re right, it did leak into the later comments. I’m going to try again with another site
Now, let’s see if this works.
*points and laughs at Capn’s broken link* 😉
So….Nope, didn’t work Cap’n.
OK so now that have Forrest Gumped my way to learning pretty links, how do I write in italics? I always have to use CAPITALS which is annoying, I know.
EB, thank you so much for the html-fu!
(Don’t know if that’s gonna work – it’s supposed to be a link to a picture on the net)
Edit: It didn’t. It was a picture of a thank you bouquet. It’s the thought that counts.
<em>italics</em>
italics
<strong>bold<strong>
bold
I prefer the international keyboard for typing accents. Here’s a comment I posted with instructions for setting it up. http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=5125#comment-58700
My example in the comment is a French keyboard, but you can set up any language you want and then just use google-fu to find the keyboard shortcuts for the accents.
Curse You 400 Bad Request ngicx! (about 16 of them right after 1600CDT)
“This should be a working link.”
To answer BrainStew: If you lived anytime in Maine, the answer is “Lolitar”. Pronounced “low liter”. This same state gives you “Anner” (Anne), Joanner, Christiner, and Liser (Lisa). Just to name a few off the top of my head.
Massachusetts also – I have a friend who lived in Easton and who worked with no less than three “Lisers” (“Lisas”).
I prefer <i>this</i> for italics and <b>this</b> for bold, personally.
Astro, how do you cross something out?
Ancient Chinese Secret<del>It’s not rape if they don’t know.</del>
Gives you:
It’s not rape if they don’t know.Smedley: CapnMac was actually right, but he was being clever and wrote it in Russian, which made it no longer 7 letters long.
Not sure why there is a ‘no’ in there. His answer was ‘Despair’, which is a lesser known Nabakov book.
Wait, wait wait. Capnmac knows how to write “Despair” in Cyrillic, and Brainsy knows how to READ it? Oy, vey. I am
pooping my pantsway outclassed here.Andie dear, let me give you this small token for the sake of pant cleanliness…
*whspers “and we look waaay smarter if we don’t tell ’em”*
Hey, Bombdude!
кажется, что будет животноводческая ферма в моих кальсонах. Можете вы возможно сразу я к самому близкому пожарному депо?
Edit: Oh, Spice Christ, when you translate it back, it’s even funnier than what I said!!! Now I’m becoming incontinent for a whole other reason!!! **tears running down face**
Dammit! I wanted Andie to think I was some sort of Communist Russian super genius. Way to blow my cover Bombdude. Now I’ll have to think of some other outdated trope to pretend to be, like a French Resistance fighter or a Kamikaze…
Perché sei bestiame in tuo pantaloni? E che cosa fa un pompiere per tuo problemo?
(This language I actually do know, a bit…)
What, erudite, intelligent, math understanding, web. savvy is not exclusive a trope enough? <G>
Oh, and I spent part of a cruise with a Nabokov fan, is howl know Despair. Could not remember the Rus, though. And BabelFish will handily return Cyrillic to help Stay “on theme”
Je dois garder eux quelque part, et I vraiment, vraiment comme des pompiers.
Grazie per il complimento, CapnMac, però Io sono avido.
Well, just remember to not do as George Costanza, and claim to be an architect (unless you intend that you are a clandestine french-fry cook).
Una identità segreta fresco a prendere potrebbe essere “consulente paradigma al SISMI” (would definitely look cool printed on business cards )
Hmm, this might work: Gukga Jeongbowon seoyang munhwa keonseolteonteu
(which is 국가정보원 서양 문화 컨설턴트 in hangul)
Nothing wrong with greed, per se, as long as it is as the expense of the evil, and not the good.
Umm.. that’s actually a Point of Information.
I apologize for the error. Please, do not smite me.
I only do that for Points of Order.
Innana, purely from the aspect of research, what would one need to do in order to have you smite them upon your shoulders-knees? Taco asked me to find out, since he is away.
It isn’t a Point of Sale, either, but that laptop is surely something else that can be abbreviated as POS.
Good gad, just read Grampdaddy’s question from last week about smiting. Blaming it on Taco. Innana generally smites with lightning or hailstones, not shoulder knees. Smiting is not to be taken lightly!
I wouldn’t charge to hold my cord…
What?
You’re so generous Hammy.
I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot cord.
What about an eleven foot one?
I think then you’re using a little too much Viagra.
If you tried it with the wrong person, you could be charged…
Would that be considered a positive or a negative?
If you’re charged with battery, both.
Do you need a two-prong adapter, or are you well grounded in your current position?
Man! What a small world! I have one of those too! I also have two laptops that charge constantly, but die if you unplug them. I have a nice amplifier that only works on one channel…
Hmm, lemme see… *rummages around in the shed* What else do I got?
I got an old lawnmower out here…
What else do you got?
I have a cat.*
*This is not true.
I have a dog*
*This is true
My catulator will charge, if there has not been enough play during the day. But, he prefers to leap at tossed toys rather than charging–which might be due to the wood floors making him tight on entry, lose through the middle, and needing another round up in the trackbar on exit. (Or, he’s just a cat who enjoys leaping; some do.)
Oh, and Spark’ does not want to engage in comparitive old tech with me. But, I can see a 23-channel, SSB CB radio from this desk–le Sigh.
My catulator charges quite frequently. Usually when he’s feeling playful right at the moment I’ve entered the room.
I have a million cats.*
*Fractionally true, but it feels that way sometimes.
I have a *crazy cat.
*absolutely true
I have two gi-normous dogs*.
(*may actually be small ponies)
I have one cat who is acting crazy enough lately for five.
I have BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS!
Too much cord holding time?
That’s just what the song says… I don’t know where the blisters came from. Afraid to ask.
Met her on my CB, said her name was Mimi
Sounded like an angel come to Earth
(Come to Earth)
But when I went to meet her
man you should’ve seen her
Twice as tall as me, three times the girth
(girth)
Oh my fat baby loves to eat
(loves to eat)
A big ol’ Buddha belly
and her breasts swing past her feet
(Feet)
My fat baby loves to eat
My big ol’ fat-ass baby loves to eat!
*Insert Andie’s comment here*
Andie: [corey]They came from, I believe, a 27-minute take of Helter Skelter. Also, many people don’t realize it, but it was Ringo that said the line.[/corey]
AAhhh! A Beatles reference. That would explain my non-recognition.
Astro: I didn’t realize that, myself. I always thought it was Paul.
*sends self to bad fangirl corner*
Lola — Your cat too? I wonder if the black (or mostly black) cats can sense the approach of their holiday…
Bridgete, I think it’s change of seasons at the equinoxes – both this one and my last one (both male, and both black with the white throat patch (no, I did not get matching cats on purpose) FWIW) would get stampede-y and more vocal than usual around March and September. I have no explanation as to why this is so; it’s just something I’ve noticed. Your theory is as good as any, frankly! For fall, anyway.
[pet reminiscence corey] The tuxedo cat we had when I was growing up LOVED Halloween. She would sit at the front door along the side of the stairs and greet the kids as they came to the house. No one ever bothered her, and the kids liked it, too. We still think she probably thought it was a special day when people came just to see her.* (She was the Feline Overlord, after all!)
The very sad part is that we had to put her down on Halloween my first year of college – kidney failure. I came home and we took her to the vet after about a week of increasingly bad health. Apparently she was born with only one kidney, and when it began to fail, she went fast. 🙁
*My current cat also apparently thinks everyone who comes to my place is there to see him. [/pet reminiscence corey]
Lola, the bit about Halloween, that sounds exactly like my parent’s cat who just passed away this week (he was 18, originally my cat, but my mother fell in love with him and forbid me to take him to my apartment). He would sit on the front porch every Halloween and let the neighborhood kids pet him.
Well, about the time of the equinoxes, the length of the night changes. Also, the angles of the shadows that daylight casts moves. Usually there’s a break in the weather as well.
These are all in the perception awareness of twilight/nocturnal predators. Chipmonks, squireels, birds and the like will start shiting their habits as well.
As if that were not enough, within about three weeks of the equinoxes, the humans get all agog having to cope with changing all elebenty dozen clocks in the house. Our house-creatures notice such things.
In the fall, we also start getting decor out, too. That decor, when new will have unsmeeled “SMELLS!” too; that which is from years past will have “Smell! That’s Old-New! Better check it!” about it. Oh,and if attention is needed, playing with the two-leg’s toys causes all sorts of “Cat Is Great!’ noises (even if the evil water spritz bottle also plays–drat!hiss!yowl!find ambush site and glare!)
Christina, almost the opposite happened with my Severus. He was originally supposed to be a cat for “the house” when I lived with my best friend. We (along with the third roommate) discussed the name selection and everything. But then he absolutely fell in love with me and when I moved to Boston, she said that I wasn’t allowed to move without the cat because he’d be devastated.
Severus is not permitted outside, but whenever guests come over he’s certain they’re here just to see him. You should have seen him at my birthday party. He claimed his own seat and everything — not to nap, either, he sat and observed.
I have 5 kids having a sleepover at my house …. let’s see I could trade them for …. hold on, someone’s knocking at my front door ……..
Fuller brush man?
Shinola salesman?
Child Welfare. I need to see your license to trade or sell children.
Windy — it was over the internet, so I thought no one would find out.
Jehovah’s Witnesses* or Census Workers**.
*how many wives do you have?
**how many children do you have?
I have a license to sell or trade children.
This woman may sell
This woman may trade
Child or infant if
Money is to be made
It’s a poetic license
Sign 1 =
Children without parents will be sold into slavery.
Sign 2 =
Abandoned children will be given candy and a puppy.
Those are real signs.
Ok, they might have been photoshopped. They were on some funny sign site.
I’ve actually seen sign 2 in person.
I’ve seen both signs in person.
One of the schools I worked in, once upon a time, had a sign at the receptionist’s desk that said, “Unsupervised children will be given sugar-laden, caffeinated soft drinks and candy with red dye. Leave them at your own risk.”
Seemed to be very effective.
*picturing some underpaid investigator getting a dozen hits for child and sell from YSaC today*
I’ve got chills, they’re multiplying…
I’ve got rocks, but don’t be fooled by them…I’m still jenny from the block*
*hates myself for that one
Lovin’. It’s what I got. Remember that.
I got you, babe.
I’ve got a brand new bag. (Well, Papa does.)
Damn… I’ve got work to do… *sigh*
I’ve got two turn tables and a microphone…
I’m a little teapot.
I thought only boys could be teapots because girls don’t have “handles”
Gee, back in ancient times, they taught us the difference was in the ‘spout’ not the handles.
Not that I have any recent experience to back that up.
I’m a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle and here is my other handle.
Aww, crap, I’m a sugarbowl!
I thought only boys could be teapots because girls don’t have “handles”
I think girls are samovars because they have two bigger ones and get hot.
(Psst, EB: Check your sources.
(I guess I should too.))
I’ve got to get back to the garden
I’ve got two tickets to paradise
I got a pickle, I got a pickle, I got a pickle, hey hey hey hey!
Or, as LRC, our resident Poncho Moose, said:
I got two horny and poncho lice,
pack your bags, we’ll spray tonight…
I got a brand new pair of rollerskates if you’ve got a brand new key.
I have a dream.
I have 30 seconds before this message self-destructs.
I had “Rollerskates” on a K-Tel album growing up. The song before it was “Also Sprach Zarathustra”. Kind of an interesting juxtaposition.
I keep hearing that Melanie song with a post-operative Pamela Anderson kinda tilt.
I’ve got a brand new pair of coconuts, oh wouldn’t you like to see?
(*)(*)
( . )( . )
^
————
What? It’s a face!
I think I have a bike.
On your bike, then! ^_^
Bicycle, Bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like
You ever see any of those GI Joe re-dubs? There’s one out there with a reference to that song… incredibly funny. In fact, I think I’ll go find them now.
I love those!
Hey kid, I’m a computer!
I personally loved when some “activists” switched the voice units for the GI Joes and the Barbies many, many years ago. I always knew that Joe wanted to go to the mall and that he thought math was hard.
Fat-bottomed girls, you make my rockin’ world go round.
Thank you, Grampdaddy. I am mighty fond of you, too.
Are you gonna take me home tonight?
Ahhh sit down by that red firelight.
Are you gonna let it all hang out?
Fat
bottomedshouldered snark, you make my rockin’ bees go buzz.$1
Wow, Bombdude you’re
cheapreasonably priced.What you want
Baby, I got
What you need
Do you know I got it?
All I’m askin’
Is for you to hold my cord when you come home (just a little bit)
I got you, babe.
I got a loverly bunch o’ coconuts.
I got a neverending song of love for you.
I got you under my skin.
I’ve got rhythm.*
* This may not actually be true.
Who could ask for anything more?
Well, the oboes are rhapsodying in blue . . .
I got sunshine…on a cloudy day.
When it’s cold outside, I got the month of May.
I guess You’d say,
What can make me feel this way?
YSaC, talking ’bout YSaC.
I’ve got music!*
*This is sortof true. I haven’t put on my headphones yet this morning. I put on a hat so I wouldn’t have to un-funk my hair, and didn’t think that one through all the way.
I’ve got rhythm, I’ve got rhyme
I’ve got the girlies with the def behind*
*this may not actually be true
Everyone knows your
milkshakeponcho brings all the boys to the yard.If I had a hammer….
I started writing this in the comment box, but it got a little out of hand.
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I’d buy you a house
(An eagle-haunted house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I’d buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterdrawers or an auti-oudo-abdomen)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a DA-Car
(a nice integra minty shell)
If I had a million dollars I’d buy Craigslist
If I had a million dollars
I’d build a orbiting cave in space
If I had million dollars
We’d shoot lasers all over the place
If I had million dollars
Maybe we could put an EMMACUANT FRIDGE in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
It would be good to us, and lay out food,
Like little pre-wrapped coffee slices and things
They have pre-wrapped coffee slices, but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacontinis
Well, can you blame ’em
Uh, yeah
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a fur coat
(But not a not.a.lion coat that’s cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a Llamanun* or Ostrimu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you great auntie’s remains
(Ooh, all them crazy stains on the couch)
And if I had a million dollars I’d buy Craigslist
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn’t have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
We’d take a truck’o’bees ’cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn’t have to eat Ham in a Can,
But we would eat Ham in a Can,
Of course we would,
(…yeah, okay, not going there. I like the line)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a red table
(It’s for sale, take it for free!)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you some dead explorers
(A Ponce de Leon or a Magellan)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a HYPNODOG,
(Haven’t you always wanted a hypnodog?)
If I had a million dollars
I’d buy Craigslist…
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I’d be rich
*Bees be upon her
Many doors (to many to list) thrown
at youyour way.I love, love, love that song…
Another of my favorite sing along in the car songs.
Miss Nomer! Excellent showing by a newer commenter!*
*Who has clearly done her homework; impressive!
Box** for you?
**Or possibly Golden Lotus, after earlier this week.
I think someone’s been reading the archives!
Many doors to the newbie ♥
Thanks, everyone! *blushes* I’ve been a lurker for a long time, and once on a really slow day at work I started at the beginning of the archives and worked my way through most of them.
Also, when I got to the line “Like a llama, or an emu” I knew that YSaC and BNL were meant for each other.
I’d buy you a green door! (but not a real green door, that’s cruel)
Nicely done, Miss N!!! Get ready for a punchity punch.
This comment made my day!
That was awesome!
I’ve got a lovely bunch of OBOs
There they are all standing in a row
Provisional, Providential, Made somewhere in France
Amazing! BNL is my favorite band. And you did them justice with your fabulous YSaC rendition.
BML and TMBG go so well with our little bit of paradice[sic] here.
Brilliant! Love BNL! This is incredible!
Did you put the cord in the coconut?
I don’t think it’d fit, it’s kinda crowded in there with all those limes.
Dee delee dee.
Dan the Ostrimu, I’ll take your tomatoes, too many to list. I’ve been wanting to make gazpacho.
If I had all that money could buy,
If I had all that Craiglslist could sell,
If I had all that hoarders could buy,
I would buy me a banjo,
Clang-a, Jang-a, Ring-a, Jang-a
That’s what I would do!
A banjo? That’s IT?
**confiscates the world’s banjos**
Mwahaha!
Are you a horn snob, Astro?
The world would be a better place if it was more horny.
Wait a minute…
She could always make one out of a cookie tin.
(That is a real thing. They also make them out of beer cans.)
Well, that’s how the song goes!
Oh No! And just boxed up all of my decluttering and gave it to charity yesterday! I have nothing, nothing.
Lita, look on Craigslist, there’s lots of free stuff there! OBO
Lots of stuffs, too many to list…
Domo arigato, Mr Roboto
For charging the laptops that nobody wants to
Thank you very much, Mr Roboto
For helping me inventory
*reads Accident’s comment*
*flashes back to 1982 or so*
*feels old*
*joins Lola in feeling old*
Old? I had an 8 -track of Styx’s “Grand Illusion” as a freshman in college (it was 1978, though).
*remembers song from VW commercial*
*feels slightly less old than Lola and LRC*
Remembers seeing Styx in concert when they were touring for that album. (We called them “albums” then.)
Remembers song from children listening to it – Feels REALLY old.
(Forgets why – looks for cane to shake – forgets why – looks at cane – “What the heck am I doing with this?” – wanders off to bathroom to read)
Why? Just because anyone here younger than 28 was not born at that time?
Besides, you’re only 100110. I’m 1100 years older than you are. I get to be old.
I’m just going to assume that’s computer code. If it isn’t then I have no clue what else it could be.
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world…
Wrong. There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t count.
[corey]It’s binary. Our standard numerical/math system is a system of 10s, therefore, “decimal”. Binary is another one, only using 1s and 0s (ones and zeros) and their positioning tells you what decimal number it converts to. Usually you learn binary and octal in Algebra II, if memory serves me correctly. [/corey]
You are partially correct in that computers deal in binary, under the covers…
Those who understand binary and those who don’t
This shirt may be appropriate for some of us here.
Or this shirt . I 2.4 ThinkGeek
And happy binary day to you all. Apparently this will be the last time this will happen in my lifetime, so we should all be sure to enjoy it. It’s also a palindrome day, but we get those more often.
Wouldn’t any date that is all ones and zeroes be a binary day? We’ll have lots in the near future. Unless that’s not what it means.
Andie is right–we’ve still got Oct 10, Oct 11, Nov 1, Nov 10, Nov 11 this year, then Jan 1, Jan 10, Jan 11, Oct 1, Oct 10, Oct 11, Nov 1, Nov 10, Nov 11 next year. I’m also confused as to how today is a palindrome day… 10 01 10? 01 10 10? 10 1 10? But my brain is working on finding a nice little couch inside my head and curling up for a nap, so there’s that.
Yes, years ending in 10, 11, or 00 or 01 will set thses up, along with the month of October.
We will have another in nine days, as it will be 101010.
There’s some argument about 010111, nine days later, in european notation, it would be 100111. It will be 101011, next year, also 100111, and 101011, 101111 as well.
Whether 101110 is a binary day or not, it’s my birthday and I expect a piñata with spouts and life-sized action figures of Richard Dean Anderson. Or Joe Flanigan from Stargate Atlantis. And maybe some O.Henry bars.
Numbers are bi?? I always thought they were pretty straight, no wonder I had so much trouble with math, didn’t know they would go both ways.
I totally did NOT learn binary in Algebra II. The first I’d heard about it was when my chemistry teacher got excited about the approach of the first binary day (010100) and briefly explained the concept before he blew something up.*
*This is probably true. He liked to blow stuff up for us, especially on days such as the last day before Christmas break when he knew no one was really going to learn anything.
Binary is the name of Windrose’s Cocteau Twins cover band.
Hmm…I could use a laptop, but I dont want it getting the wrong impression. Maybe I’ll take it for coffee a few times before we touch each others cords.
Do they make… erm… “protection” for cords? You have to be careful these days. No telling what virus you might catch…
Latex gloves (or lambskin if you’re allergic)
Saran wrap and rubber bands. This is craigslist, after all.
[corey] Polyurethane is the better choice for dealing with a latex allergy. Lambskin will still let viruses through, it’s only effective for avoiding mini-laptops. 😉 [/corey]
Don’t they make sheaths for the cords or is that something I dreamt of the last time I had a fever?
Did your hands feel like two balloons?
I know of sheaths for cords, but the ones I am familiar with are for, as Lita so aptly put it, “decluttering”, so you put multiple cords through the same sheath.
More like a cord orgy (corgy? no wait, that’s a dog ain’t it) than protection from CTDs…
If you start the relationship knowing you’re gonna use it, how can it get the wrong impression?
I would suggest a relationship counselor to get the most out of this relationship. Or Geek Squad…
Odd…this is the second time this week someone has suggested counseling to me.*
*Disturbingly true
Council! Approach the bench!
City Council?
Reminds me of my grandfather’s old joke:
Q: What do you call a lawyer too incompetent to chase ambulances?
A: Councilman
Q: What do you call the least-competent councilman?
A: Mayor
(This was usally loud enough for the Mayor to hear, two tables over in the TexMex joint on Broadway at lunch–and people wonder where I got my cynical streak . . . )
**Approaches bench**
Yes, your honor?
Good, now we can start.
Dearly belabored, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life and times of one Thaddeus T. Line, whose body was found recently under the floorboards. He is believed to have committed suicide sometime yesterday. A chaste individual, Thaddeus dreamed of joining a convent as a young child, only to find that convents generally only take women. If anyone has any reason this body should not be buried, speak now or forever hold your charger cord.
The defense rests.
Are you not attached to said weather vane, then? I ADORE whales and would be happy to take it off your hands.
How meta.
And I kinda want some of those tomatoes, too.
Aww shucks! Sorry if it came off as weird. I knew it might. What’s the punishment around here?
I also have tomatoes, but I didn’t mention them as up for trade since he said he already had so many. I have a ton of little cherry tomatoes in my garden and there are just too many to eat!
Not wierd at all. Just meta that on a site mocking another site where people unload their unwanted stuff, here’s the Ostrimu* mentioning some unwanted stuff and we’re wanting it.
As for punishment, I say we should put Justjess on the weathervane, spin him/her (?) around and throw tomatoes. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
*bees be upon him
Why does Dan get bees too? I would think they have an excess by now. Maybe this is why there are reports of declining bee populations. Any suggestions?
Why? Isn’t it obvious? Dan is Llama-nun’s honey!
Oooh! True true…
Yay! I’ll swing around on the weathervane a la ‘singin in the rain’.
I’m siiiiinging on the vane
Just siiinging on the vane
What a glorious feelin’
I’m happy again
Squish! Splat! Thud! (Unripe one.)
Dodging tomatoes is very difficult on this roof
Snap! Thwacka! Whoosh! Splish!
(We didn’t make any rules about using the trebuchet.)
Dodger on the Roof?
Isn’t that a show tune?
Given what a well-wrought (or even a cheap stamping) weather vane goes for these days, it seems impolitic to not scrounge up some vintage shortening and serials to offer in trade or OBO.
You’re thinking “Codger on the Roof”.
Grampdaddy adjusting the antenna.
No antenna – I got sputnik – nope, not right……satellite, yup, satellite. And a VHS thing. And a cane, two dogs, and a collection of plastic bags for when the dogs take me for a walk.
And a damn pineapple candle…
We are only attached to said whale weathervane in that it makes an excellent story, which involves us unpacking at our new house and finding it in a box and saying to one another, “Why on earth did you bring THIS?” and then both of us denying to the other that it belonged to us.
Yet, it was in a box and showed up at our house. It now lives on the wall of the garage. I’m relatively certain it’s not functional.
I’ve got an illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator.
I’ve got an Earth-Shattering Kaboom that I’m supposed to send to you, but I’m not sure I wanna give it away.
I’ve got a pineapple candle – with a fuse.
[ERROR WITTY COMMENT NOT FOUND]
Uh-oh, looks like we need to reboot kelli.
Anyone know where we put her [FEMALETRAITS1] and {FEMALETRAITS3]?
I think they’re out in the garage by the haunted eagle?
They are strung out on a listserv.
[ERROR: WITTY REJOINDER NOT FOUND]
I predict that, in less than an hour, that could be correctable.
It’s Friday, and after 1700; has Pimms helped any yet?
I don’t get out of work until 1730 at earliest, and then it’s at least an hour home – “happy hour” as it were tends to be closer to 1900.
Too cold now here for Pimms – that’s a white-linen drink, to me. On the other hand – the cocktail shaker holds other contents, and I own some. We’ll see what the freezer holds.
Lola, I’d be happy to send the beautiful flask over that you presented me on my birthday – with what would you like it filled?
Well, to quote Mr Burns, “Ex-cell-ent!”
(not the long commute and waiting until 1730 to leave work part)
Cooled off here, to the mid/upper 80s–still good weather for summer drinks. First real “outside” weather anywhere near sundown for the last 5 months.
Aww, the gents are lovely this evening. I tend to feel a bit of a loser being online on a Friday eve, but you’re so kind. I’m exhausted – the week has given me only 5-6 hours of sleep a night when I’m a person who does best on 8+. OY.
Grampdaddy – since I recall you’ve evinced a preference for vodi, I suggest a flask of the (limited edition) Absolut Brooklyn, which is happily residing in my freezer. And in my glass. A rocks glass with a cube or two is nice. It advertises itself as red apple and ginger but is really more like ginger and red apple, nahmean? I’m on my second drink and happy with it.
Capn – it’s only about 60 or 62 here.* What I want to bust open – but equally want to wait on, as its truly limited edition – is a bottle of ron cubano anejo [I can’t be arsed to do the tilde n] reserva (Santero rum, for the twitchers and trainspotters), which was given to me by a BFF. At first I couldn’t figure out how he was able to share cafe, ron, cerveza, etc. – were he and his friends particularly skilled in smuggling things through customs? – but have since learned that expats are allowed to bring in a couple of bottles of rum or a little coffee (por cafe con leche, of course!) or a box of cigars “for personal use.” He’s been kind enough to share. He’s also moving in the next month and I suspect it will be a good long while before I can get more, so I’m going to hold on to it.
*I have a friend in Austin who told me last winter or the one before that the temp there changed 60 degrees in one day – 80 during the day, and 20 – and snowing – that night when they came out of the movie theatre.
*stumbles to shower to sober up before Chinese takeway arrives*
Later edit: Oh good sh!te this is long.
Lola, that is not uncommon here. I remember one birthday (late November) where it was in the upper eighties when we got to the restaurant, and snowing by the time we left.
Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!
Oh, Astro has it it.
Hmmm
Now where did I leave that jar of instant Martians?
I think J’onn J’onnz confiscated it.
Hey everyone….
I’ve found a credit card just outside in the hallway.
Who is …*looks at card* Robert Hi lton Northwood ?
LL, that would be the gentleman who provides all the food on the snark lounge. Since it is Friday, we are having “All-You-Can-Eat” whale-tail served in low-rise denim, with a side of tramp-stamp.
Hey, if R.H.Northwood is buying, could you have him bring up papajohns dot com and have them send a large meat-lovers pizza to my house?
Be nice to have some variety in my diet. Been a year since i ordered a pizza–Double Daves must think I’ve died. Po’ is no fun.
RHiNo is being charged. 🙂
*lame joke.. I know*
*second that* (for me, that is, not you) 😀
Sorry, BD.. I changed my post… you’re NOT crazy !
for anyone wondering, he replied to my post…
I can’t help it.. Friday’s make me have two minds arguing. (wait.. that’s schizophrenic, isn’t it?)
I’m schizophrenic.
So am I.
LOL, yeah LL, I was wondering why I suddenly felt like maybe the voices were just in my head…
I apparently have that affect on people. :shrug: I refuse to take a pill for that.
See, I didn’t read “what do you got?” as a trade offer. I read it with an emphasis on the YOU, like “Yo, I got dis nice laptop, hundred bucks, wanna fight about it?” Seems a little defensive for faulty computer equipment but hey, I’ve seen some guys who are really proud of their junk cars. He probably has a hard drive on cinderblocks in the front yard.
Well, I’ve got $100 and a laptop that isn’t so clingy that it needs me to hold on to it before it can even turn on. What have YOU got?
*looks around before answering*
What are you willing to pay?
*continues glancing about shiftily*
I might be willing to pay $100 to take a peek at the files that Spark-less undoubtedly did not delete before selling the laptop. ‘Course, I’m going to need to spend a bit more than that at the Brain Bleach Day Spa afterwards.
One need not look at the files, one simply needs to “pipe” the list to a file that one emails back to Spark with a suggestion of a charitable donation . . .
And with a plaintive cry, he asks, “How long must I hold you before you turn on?”
“Gah, and I suppose I have to cuddle and talk afterward too…?”
I saw this line and immediately wondered… WWBD?
So many options (too many to list)
I HAD a lousy day, but now that I’m here and I read all of the comments, my bad day seems to have disappeared. That’s so strange.
No matter… I still have a 15 month old who wears shorts on her head. I’m not trading her though. I suppose I’ll keep her siblings as well.
Heck, child, you’ve got a 60 year old who still wears shorts on his head. OK, not shorts, but similar….and silky …. with lace.
* Never mind…. *
Hey, you keep saying that like wearing drawers for a hat was a bad thing. Why would they put all the fancy lace and flars and such iffin nobody was ‘spos’ta see’em?
Ok, I live in a college town–people wearing drawers for a hat is not that much more unusual than those wearing their own rear-ends as a hat.
Chapeau la Culottes?
Oui, certainment!
Sorry for your troubles Manda. Let Mr. Sandburg’s musings carry them away:
The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
While that’s not directly meant for me, IAA, thank you. I do like that poem. Even if my cat has rather a well-fed tread.
My cat is a very good self-regulator and my apartment has three floors, so he’s still quite slender and light-footed. He’s constantly scaring the bejeebus out of me by creeping up onto the back of the couch until he’s right behind me and then meowing in my ear.
My favorite cat-related poem is by Ogden Nash:
“If called by a panther,
Don’t anther.”
Mine has long toenails (at least the fronts) and they click on the wood floor. He can be very quiet, but it takes ninja skills; which are spoilt by the sound of leaping 15-16# on or off anything in the house.
Many thanks! The purring catulator on my lap also approves of the poetry selection.
That’s a good’n Smedley – new to me. Here is the whole thing for all:
A panther is like a leopard
except it hasn’t been peppered
should you behold a panther crouch
prepare to say ouch
better yet, if called by a panther
don’t anther.
Sorry, again I am guilty of not supplying the whole quote. I, for some reason, believe that everyone has the same basic knowledge that I do, and that everyone “gets” what I am trying to say. So I’m sure most of my snippets don’t make sense. If there is anything that is unclear to anyone, please call it to my attention; otherwise I will continue on, blissfully unaware. This has proved entertaining to many over the course of my years in the Canoe Club, and doubly so, now that most of my co-irkers are former Air Farce denizens.
Smedley, it is unclear to me why Mr. JD thinks I want to wake up at 5 a.m. for T-shirt together time. Can you help?
Because he knows you won’t wake up at 0400 for it.
Try liberal application of capsaicin.
Unless he’s turned on by that.
Oh please do not do this. [OT] A couple of months ago, my father had planted a habanero plant at my request, but there were too many of them so I decided to make something that would use a lot of them all at once (a pineapple and habanero chutney, to be precise.) However, I did not think that cutting six or so habaneros definitely called for gloves. I spent over 12 hours with one of my hands feeling like it was ON FIRE! Nothing helped except constantly keeping it numb with ice. So remember, rubber (capsaicin oil can leak through latex) gloves when you cut hot peppers! [/OT]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I got summa that on my fingers once (never go eat hot wings and then go home and think about getting amorous).
BAD juju ensues…. Much hopping around and new vocabulary words…
Astro, I am probably violating some child safety laws here, but you just named the main ingredient in “warm sensations” lubricants. I am NOT telling you what those are used for.
Also, after 0500 is a good time for you to start on breakfast.
You’re already up, aren’t you?
Yes, capsaicin in very very diluted amounts is used for warming and tingling sensations. It is also actually the active ingredient in most lip-plumping glosses and lipsticks. But, again, very very diluted…
Capsaicin is also the primary numbing ingredient in topical muscle rubs, too. It is also used in some gastric-relief meds, as well.
There are those in Texas who decry seeing people on food Network using gloves while chopping something as “mild” as a jalapeño — hey, for 2-3, no problem. About 10-20, a smart person has gloves on. If we move up to hotter chilies…
Obviously I am not that smart person. I think chopping jalapenos made me cocky. It will be a while before I will even consider cutting a habanero after my ‘incident’.
There’s a Mark Miller salsa recipe for habbies that is safely undercomplicated.
Slice 3 whole habeñeros into rings about 2-3mm wide
Zest, then juice one large orange.
Zest, then juice one lemon.
Zest, then juice one lime.
Combine all ingredients in a non-reactive bowl, and stir. Let rest 20-30 minutes to blend flavors.
Now, middling safe to make; eating, on the other hand . . .
There’s a scene in Double Take by Mike Ripley, where one character gets information out of another by pushing a Scotch Bonnet chili up his nose.
OT – lifted from “Texts From Last Night” and immediately thought of Hammy:
How do you get mayonnaise out of… well jesus it’s everywhere, let’s start with carpets
Possible answers:
(a) PAM
(b) Margarine
(c) None of the above
Some kind of grease remover. What say you, Hammy? Puppies?* My parents’ dogs clean everything.
*Puppies are the answer!
Puppies are always the answer!
I thought 42 was the answer?!
What if the question is: “What’s for Dinner?”
Puppies!
Do I have to wok my dog again?
I like my spaniel breaded, with a light chardonnay. Maybe a grilled vegetable medley, and some new potatoes.
Crap. Now I’m hungry.
Hey, I’m singin’ in the box again!
🙂
We’ve classed up the joint. It’s da golden lotus now.
I seriously oppose this name change because I do not wish to imagine Ham singing in anyone’s Golden Lotus.
Amen, sistah.
How about if he just yodels a little?
That is perhaps even more disturbing.
But, he looks so pleasant in his f/b picture (you might want him to put down the fish, though)
And lo, Jesus appeared unto him and said, “What am I, Dear Heloise all of a sudden? Why are you asking me how to get mayonnaise out of carpets? And WHAT IS THE MAYONNAISE DOING IN THE T.V. ROOM IN THE FIRST PLACE?!? Was it not one of Dad’s rules that thou shalt not have… What? That was on the 3rd tablet, too? Oh. Well, then… try puppies.”
There is no problem that cannot be solved with the judicious and precise use of high explosives…
Including Mr. JD’s 5 a.m. amorousness.
Well, in theory, it *could* be a solution, but not one I would pursue, except by indirect uses thereof…
Y’mean, not like blowin’ his bits off, but by pushing THE RED BUTTON and then saying, “Ooh, honey, did you hear that explosion? You better check that out.” That way, said bits will be there later when *I* might be more inclined. Point taken. You are well trained, aren’t you?
Zactly! never blow up what you might want to bl… well, yeah… you get it… 😀
What about the problem of a huge charred hole in the ground?
I see no problem.
See? problem solved!! 😀 No more mayonnaise in the carpets!
You could plant stuff in it. Pepper plants come to mind.
I assume you would then suggest blowing up the landlord…
Well “judicious use” ought not have any excess of effects.
As to landlords, they are mostly replaceable, almost to fungible, even.
Not like you are planting nightshade and poison ivy…
Saturday Night Live:
“Dark and lonely on a summers night,
Kill my landlord.
There’s a watchdog; Do he bite?
Kill my landlord.
Slide in the window, break his neck,
Got nuttin’ else to do, what the heck.
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
C-i-l-l my landlord.”
Eddie Murphy as the grown-up Buckwheat
**runs into the Snark Lounge**
Cary won by… 34 to 0, I believe.
The band had a… mediocre show.
Ah, dear friends, how I needed to laugh this evening. Thank you.
Hammy, here’s a Punchity Punch Punch that is well deserved.
G’Night, South America, and sweet dreams, my Sunny girl.
🙂