YSaC, Vol. 778: Bear is investing! How can this be?
Beautiful Crystal Vases / Floral – $49
Classic crystal vases (pair) with designer floral. $50.00 for the pairMoving soon // Mr. Bear says SELL
Please call ###-###-####
Vases are on each side of the fireplace..
“Hello, I’m Mr. Bear, and I’m here to provide you with solid investment advice. You may think I’m just a cuddly plush toy, but… BUY! BUY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MURRAY? HOLY CRAP I’M LOSING MY SHIRT HERE, BUY!”
“Ahem. As I was saying, a prudent financial strategy is always wise in today’s uncertain economic climate, and when you trust me with your retirement planning, you can rest assured that…. SELL! SELL! SELL!!! MURRAY, GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR! SELL, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SELL!! ”
“Where was I? Oh Yes. A proper mix of equities, bonds, and money market funds, properly adjusted as you near retirement is essential to properly… WAFFLES! TASTY WAFFLES!!! WAFFLES! WAAAAFFLES!”
Thanks for the link, Ket!
I would have slapped a “trying too hard” tag on this one. Trying to be cutesy in your listing makes me not want to buy your stuff, o’sucky craigslister.
zzzz…I refuse to snark until some snark worthy posts are made!
~candorman is on strike~
Thank god?
Thank Bob.
Thank you Spice Christ! I shall sacrifice three nutmegs in your honor.
I dated her once…
…and thus ended a lucrative circus sideshow career.
As a community we have to fight the man!
The man is posting lameness, we deserve easier targets for our slander.
Change of management.
Candorman is the acting webmaster of yousuckatcraigslist.
I will monetize every inch of page space, banner every button, and then change the direction of this portal.
Starting 9/5/10, yousuckatcraigslist will become a directory of Michael Bolton’s greatest hits.
… so a blank page then?
Precisely.
The only thing remaining will be a cropped centerfold of Hugh Hefner riding a walrus.
Candorman- Don’t be mean to the other posters (unless they reach Corey levels of not understanding humor or Matt levels or misplaced indignation). One thing I like about YSaC is the comment section isn’t full of nastiness and commenters tearing eachother apart.
Unblublers Unite!
Thank you, Silva….
( the second “or” was meant to be “of” )
Another thank you, Silva.
I’ve got 270+ comments left to read (did anyone do any work today?:)!), I rather hope there’s more line crossing and less mean spirited stuff.
Oh, there’s a particularly good bit of line crossing down the page. Now, it doesn’t get tentaraped by alien pork cans or nuffin’. We need to go gentle on it until it’s recovered from the recent traumatic crossing we did to it.
Oh… sorry, line.
Speaking of the line, Astro, nice crotch-shot. I know you young boys like whipping out your horns, but in public?
Silly barrister, that’s a mellophone, not some wooden knee.
(I thought it was some form of Public Display of Affection, at first)
Oy! Cap’n! Thems be dogs in mine avatar. I’m more likely to aspire to barista than barrister.
Captain, that’s a baritone. The difference is I can hold up a mellophone all day and not even sweat, but my baritone is a man’s instrument.
Just what the hell IS that bear doing in that pic?
*Boo Boo wanna Kleenex?*
Wow. Could be a new roecord. Line gone after 2 posts. Well done.
Well, what else could be done Lou? The pic of Boo Boo is up and close and will probably invade my nightmares tonight.
And I can’t even see those crystal meth vases. Would moving a little closer to snap the polaroid be asking too much of Sparky?
Unless Mr. Bear gets angry when he doesn’t get his close-up. Does he become enraged and begin throwing things around the room and making obscene phone calls while attempting to psychically force himself on you? ‘Cause that might be a dealbreaker right there.
Yeah, I THINK those are the most beautiful $49 vases for $50 I have ever laid eyes on, but they’re just.too.far.away.
Mr Bear could be Lotso from Toy Story 3 incognito.
Just what is involved in him forcing himself upon you “psychically”?
Do you buy more honey than you need?
Do you keep in touch with yourself in public?
What?
In case you missed it –
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4579
It features a very naughty doll.
Mudslicker, they don’t dare move any closer. The vases are so close to the end of the mantle shelf a breath would blow them to the floor.
Yes, because we don’t want anything blown to the floor.
Speak for yourself.
*It’s no-line Friday*
Mr. Ranger isn’t going to like this!
SR: I was noticing their precipitous position on that mantle as well. You’re right. The echo caused by walking across the room would be enough to dash Sparky’s hopes of raking in that $49/$50 he was looking for.
Hey, sparky only had the bear photo, and the pic downloaded form the RE listing to work with . . .
Welp, the coffee must finally be kicking in because I now understand your post Mudsy.
Yup, took me 3 1/2 hours to understand some rather obvious innuendo. Me half grate brane dai!
Innuendo? Great! Now I have no idea what you’re talking about. I never innuendo on Fridays.
Innuendo=An Italian suppository.
Approved by the Vatican.
Imprimatur.
Yep, as one of the Marx brothers (I think it was Karl) said, “You go out the door and come innuendo.”
I think Karl was one of the Malden brothers.
No Mudsy, that was Chocolate – Chocolate Malden – with whipped cream and a cherry on top. Yummmmmmm!
Uh, Gramdaddy, I hate to call attention to an error on your part when you have been so nice to me, but I believe Groucho said: “Love walks out the door when money flies innuendo.”
My dear Drum Captain.
You are most certainly correct about it being Groucho, but without the Karl Marx allusion, Mudsy would never been able to do the “Malden” thing, and I couldn’t have responded with having a “Chocolate Malden”.
See, it was a psychic foreshadowing – maybe the correct term is ‘psychotic’
There once was a bear from Racine.
Two vases he had that were keen.
On Craigslist he stood.
To sell them he would.
Performing an act quite obscene.
*In Soviet Russia, line crosses you.
**Don’t buy a vase from a bear. part 2**
Now Sparqi McBear’s a bit loupy.
While next to him sat a fine groupie.
To Sparqi she’d tell.
These vases wont sell.
By making your Sales so Soupy.
Wait,
What’s My Line?
The reason this post is lame, is just that. The bear was originally intended to be a joke. This is a conspiracy, drmk is trying show off pics of her casa.
Taco = drmk, sarajean = MR. WINKY!, mudslicker = astrognash.
These are the active conspiracys, and notice that they are the only ones whose snarks are ever posted on the homepage.
This will change with my redesign.
dan posted today.
I am not now nor have I ever been Mr Winky and I refuse to enter into any conspiracy that would brand me as such.
You all are dropping “e”s off my name worse than you do to Bridgete…
**sighs dejectedly.**
Personally, I think Mr. Bear is also saying “foreclosure”.
Code word for “sealing the deal”..
*wink wink*
Pretty sad if the only things not repo-ed are the vases, the candle sticks, the dubious painting and a stuftbar.
Would explain the photos. RE agent got the one pic of the house without a missing appliance or a Deputy in it.
What? $50 for some vases with twigs in it? There’s no way in all he…ALL HAIL MR. BEAR!
*runs off to find wallet*
Apparently I’ve just been replaced as Empress of the Universe by a stuffed toy. Easy come, easy go.
Little high, little low.
Anyway the snark blows doesn’t really matter to me…
to me…
And now I have a Queen earworm. Thank you for that.
I thought you wrote Queer earworm.
*blink blink*
Freddie’s fans are going to hurl their mustache brushes at you fro that one!
Are they suggesting that Freddie Mercury is gay?! Say it ain’t so!
New clothes for the avatar TM?
Snazzy….
This reminds me of a comment I saw on the Youtube video for that male Lady Gaga fellow, Prince Poppycock, when he did Bohemian Rhapsody:
As a disclaimer, I may have paraphrased.
Those are not twigs. I believe the correct botanical classification is designer floral.
“Upcycled” yard waste? Nah, that doesn’t look like a hipster domicle. But I’m pretty sure I saw Mr. Bear boozing it up with Mr. Winkey last week.
I should crochet them matching hats out of upcycled plastic grocery bags. Talk about stylin’.
You’ve done it now christina. As sure as Tooter Turtle calling Mr. Wizard gets attention, W**key will be showing up now.
No, Mudsy, we’ve got until 3pmish, remember? Mr W**ky goes to high school :-p
Really? Naaaaah. My investigative skills are waning. I always thought W**key was older and more guess-able.
There is a forum topic where Mr. Winkey exposed himself.
What?
**winks at Taco**
Ooh! Crochet! Can they say “Party Girl” on them?
There is a forum topic where Mr. Winkey exposed himself.
Would that be a pubic forum?
(subsequent edit – darn ‘l’ key stuck….)
Re: said ‘l’ key
You mean:
Woud that be a pubic forum?
Did you have to hand draw those two then?
Umm, most of the time my ‘l’ key works fine – it is only on occasion that it needs help because it won’t come back up.
Which is why I sometimes cross the line, and other times cross the ine.
So when you can’t get your “l” to come back up, you have “pubic” trouble, eh?
(Line? Where?)
Are you suggesting Gramp get a looking glase, the better to See Alice”
A looking glase?
I he a doenut, then?
Is he topped with sprynkles?
And filled with creem?
Can people eat him (and that creem) all day long for a low price?
**Now I am become death, the crosser of lines.**
That would be through the Not.A.Linnaeus classification system.
Alas, I haven’t had time to be in here much at all lately—let alone in the forums. Thanks for the heads-up christina.
The #1 Threat to America: Investing Bears
I actually think it’s Investing Bare. Those Wall-Streeters are such nudist kidders.
Mudsy, you’re right – investing bare is very dangerous. You have nothing to cover your shortages.
…or your assets.
That’s true, especially if you have a really fine asset.
But what if you have a really fine asshat?
Like a deadly neighbor, State Bear is there!
I’ve heard of the bear market but this is ridiculous.
I approve of such tactics to
reign in childrenget customers.So wrong….
You are not the real PedoBear!
The real PedoBear believes free range, organic
childrencustomers are the best in the world.DDT included and all?
OMG!! Look out – Pedobear said that it’s rainin’ children!
When you really need them, where are the Zomb
Hi – Hi! We’re your Pedobears – Ah-huh –
And have we got news for you – You better listen!
Get ready, all you lonely guys
and leave those tents at home. – Alright! –
Crime rates is rising – Belts are getting low
According to all sources, the line’s the place to go
Cause tonight for the first time
(He’s) Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It’s gonna start raining kids.
It’s Raining Children! Hallelujah! – It’s Raining Children! Amen!
Line! Line! AwOOOOOOga!
Godless killing machines!
Wouldn’t it have been a better idea to take a close up of the actual item you are selling, rather than a random stuffed animal?
Oh, wait – this is CraigsList.
Yup, Taco is VERY tired. I was one click away from making a terrible 300 reference using the phrase “This is Craigslist”
We are all very lucky that I averted this disaster with 3 heaping spoonfulls of coffee.
*Crunch Crunch Crunch*
Mmm, the coffee is nice and soft this morning.
THIS… IS… CRAIGSLIIIIIIIIST!! 😉
Tonight we dine WITH BEARS!
Don’t you mean that we dinn with bears? We are using the dinning table, aren’t we?
**goes to prep the Nacho Cheese fountain and the Not.A.Lionel. Cheese Head in anticipation of dinner with Mr. Bear.**
Well, yeah, but I fear you are making a non-CL assumption about Sparq and his bar. See, the vases. candlesticks adn bad painting are in the foreclosed house in ish; Sparq and his bar are back liveing in their parent’s garage in [location].
I had a whole long story about how the family adopted a bear who ate them in their sleep and sold all their stuff on craigslist but it was too long, didn’t write.
Sorry kids, Taco probably won’t be snarking much today. Tron made sure Taco only got 3 hours sleep last night.
Thanks for the Abstract on the story line though TM. Hope Tron gets some sleep today as well as mom and pop—just not too much sleep or he’ll be up tonight as well.
I have a theory about babies and sleep….they don’t and you don’t. That’ll be $49, or if you like you can have this terrifying bear and two vases and the fee will only be $50.
I know that some babies sleep, my sister had one that did.
Mine doesn’t, but at least I know they do exist.
You have my sympathies. Someone pass Taco the coffee slices.
Taco, when I have a noisy bird that won’t settle down, I just cover it with a blanket or sheet. Have you tried that? Make sure his cage isn’t in a draft, and he has plenty of fresh water and seed.
Oh hey! That’s a great idea!
Hold on, I’m getting a call…
*Checks Caller ID*
Anyone know who CPS is?
Campus Public Safety?
Cinnamon Plushie Society?
They’re the red-headed stepchild of DFS. Just ignore them.
Taco — in a rude voice tell them to quit annoying you and hand up on them. You may get more sleep after that.
I try not to hand up on people I don’t know. It gets awkward fast.
Off Topic from Taco’s problem, but:
WHOO-HOO WINDROSE! – NICE new avatar….
Wait, where did it go??? Urban ninja avatar?
Sorry, Grampdaddy, it took me a while to get my avatars on straight. She’s my alter ego, Demi Moore, from that movie where she played a stripper.
Just becuz I tri tiping with mugs …..
Try frozen french fries for Tron and the whiskey for you — that seem to work with both my kids.
What a grizzly sight – I can’t bear to look.
That’s a pretty good pun for Ursidae morning.
You think so, Taco? I think it’s unbearable.
Something about this is making me want to hibernate until Spring.
Mr. Bear is oso terrifying. Imagine running into him in the Arctic.
oso – Heh! Memories from long ago: ditching school and going to San Luis to buy Oso Negro gin and vodka. The bottles had a little black bear on a chain around the neck (of the bottle). Thanks for the memories Bridgete…….
The creepiest thing about this ad? When you call to ask about the vases, Teddy Ruxpin answers.
Great, now I’m visualizing a Teddy Ruxpin version of Chucky.
Wonderful, no sleep tonight.
Like you would be getting any sleep anyway.
You win this round, SJ.
*Squints*
*Falls Asleep*
The Victorian practice of giving babies “soothing drops” (containing morphine, cocaine, cannabis extract, and/or alcohol) is starting to make a little more sense now, isn’t it?
Best advice my grandmother ever gave me:
“That oral jelly stuff doesn’t work very well. Use either whisky, Scotch, or bourbon. Pour a shot and stick your finger in it. Rub the finger on the kid’s gums. Do that a few times then do one or two on his tongue. Then, take the rest of the shot down yourself. You’ll both feel much better. Oh, and use the good stuff, a baby can tell the difference between top shelf and gut rotter.”
Works like a friggin’ charm on those really bad teething nights.
*waves hand in air*
My dad employed this method when a tooth extraction was necessary on me. Worked like a charm. I actually looked forward to losing teeth. Can’t imagine why. I assume he did this same thing when the teeth were making their initial appearance. I still have a fondness for an occasional nip.
Taco, my baby granddaughter is going through the same thing (10 months old). She gnaws on everything in sight and sleep is scattered at best. Her parents look old beyond their years. Only advice I can give them is that this too shall pass.
My Gramma had very similar advice for my sister when she was pregnant with her first. My sister was very full of matt-quality righteous indignation (“I can’t do that to my precious child!”) until about halfway through the second sleepless week. Then she borrowed some Wild Turkey from my dad since she was underage at the time. I think she would have robbed an ABC store to get some sleep.
Really? The oragel works pretty well on MiniEB… That, and we’ve got some homeopathicish melty pills from Walmart for teething…. his sitter popped those in his mouth all day yesterday, and he actually slept last night 😀 And I know this sounds dumb, but did you actually try the wet-washcloth-in-freezer yet? I thought it was silly, and just kept giving MiniEB the rubbery frozen things, and he kept chucking them across the room… But one day I couldn’t find the rubbery frozen things, and gave him a frozen washcloth (it really only takes about 10 minutes to freeze enough) and he gnawed on the thing for a while. It seemed to help… Again, I know everyone and their sister talks about the wet washcloth thing, but it actually IS better than the teething toys 🙂
Oh, great, and me spending Labor Day at my in-laws, where MIL still has BIL’s old “My Buddy” doll laid out on a spare room bed, waiting to ambush you when you walk in the room. Now I just KNOW there’s a Teddy Ruxpin under the bed, waiting to get my ankles with a shattered crystal vase, and to charge me for the honor.
I’m picturing something similar to that scene from Pet Sematary with the undead child under the bed with the scalpel.
That part made me take a running leap to get into bed for weeks.
Just remember, monsters can’t penetrate the sheet.
No, Taco, monsters can’t penetrate 100% cotton sheets.
Problem is, MIL is a big believer in permapress…
Mummies can penetrate Egyptian cotton sheets.
Hide the tana leaves!
The problems with the Rules of the Supernatural is that there always seem to be loopholes. Who wrote these things, anyway?
The monsters did.
And we LET them?
I think we might deserve to get eaten.
Gee, Kae, lots of folks would find that a “Happy Thought”.
What?!
Well, at least it’ll end happily.
Manda, how would that be any different from any other Teddy Ruxspin?
Oh, Teddy Ruxpin is ALWAYS terrifying. I am just thinking about calling up thinking you’d only have the horrors of Sparky to deal with…and getting…him. *bloodcurdling scream*
Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy has a vase, a pair!
Fuzzy wuzzy isn’t fussy, buddy
Fuzzy Wuzzy says to sell
Or you’ll go to Fuzzy Hell
And Fuzzy Wuzzy makes you his fuzzy buddy.
Fuzzy wuzzy has some stock
Fuzzy wuzzy packs a Glock
Buy or he will shoot you in the muzzy
Fuzzy Wuzzy a rather unsavory character it seems.
After that whole shaven bear prank his friends pulled on him he just kinda snapped and turned to a life of crime. Now he’s the don of the Ursa Major Syndicate selling fermented berries smuggled inside salmon and trout and laundering the money through Craigslist.
All this FuzztWuzzy chatter has Kipling rattling around my head–none seems apt to our snark, though.
You could probably adapt “Boots” pretty easily. Also:
Boy to girl, “Do you like Kipling?”
Girl to boy, “I don’t know, you naughty boy, I’ve never kippled!”
Oxford Book of Quotations. Unknown.
Ooh! Jokes!
Okay, so there are these two guys digging holes in the sun. Their boss is over in the shade by a tree. One guy says to his buddy, “Hey, how come he’s over there and we’re doing all the work?” His buddy says, “Uh… I dunno, Booboo, I’ll go ask him.”
So he goes over to his boss, and says, “Hey boss, how come we’re down there digging holes, and you’re here doing nothing?”
His boss says, “Well, I’ve got something you don’t. Intelligence.”
“Intelligence? What’s that?”
“Here, I’ll show you.” The boss puts his hand on the tree trunk, and says, “Here. Hit my hand as hard as you can.” The worker pulls back his hand, and lets fly a punch. At the last second, the boss pulls away, and the worker hits the tree. After the boss gets him some ice for his hand, he goes back to worker.
The first guy says, “Hey, did the boss tell you?”
“Yeah. He said he’s got intelligence.”
“Intelligence? What’s that?”
“Here, I’ll show you.” The worker puts his hand on his face and says, “Here, take your shovel and hit my hand with it as hard as you can.”
Sorry, should have been Bartletts Familiar Quotations.
So what were they digging for, helium?
I think we’ve established that they weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed.
No but they would be the brightest if they were digging holes in the sun.*
* At least briefly as they flashed into plasma.
Ah, that does pose a question, how they’d survive the trip through the coronasphere. Now, given the heat difference between the mere surface of the sun and the plasma in the corona, perhaps they just beamed to the surface.
Alternately, we could take Astro’s assertion a step further, and suppose that they might be so simple as to not know that they are supposed to combust in 6000 kelvin plasma.
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had a pair…..
of vases, you degenerates……
geez!
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had orange hair
But it wasn’t orange down there
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t a real redhead was he?
Holy CBCJSC*
*Cinnamon Bear Clothespin Jeebus Spice Christ
Isnt’ this bear a Ginger though?
Or is… he… too…
Awww, look at the cute puppy!
I say he’s more a Tangerine Bear.
Squeeeeeeeee! Puppy!!! What’s that puppy? You want to eat the bear and steal the vases? Ok, puppy! Anything the cutest puppy wuppy wants!
*rubs puppy belly*
I know…it’s a trap. I don’t care anymore. Puppy. Too. Cute.
D’aww. Is that a border collie puppy? My dog is half border collie. They’re such cute dogs.
No, It is a Cardigan (Not related to the sweater)
You cannot cross a Cardigan with a Border Collie, well you can but they can’t go out in the rain because they would be CardBord…
Hammy, how long have you been waiting to use that joke?
Oh, I use it when the opportunity arises 🙂
You know, if you cross breeds again you could get some CardBord Boxers.
That sounds extremely uncomfortable.
Well, the way genetics works you would more likely get Bord Boxers playing Cards.*
*Wait, this explains the painting!
I ASSURE YOU THE VASE MARKET IS OPEN
I’m not even supposed to be here today!
OT: Taco, Facebook just informed me that I haven’t talked to you in a while and I should write on your wall. Clearly Facebook believes it has, in fact, achieved its goal of taking over the world and thus any interaction outside its bounds does not exist.
Must submit to FB!!!
You’re so mean for not talking to me B! Why won’t you ever talk to me?
The isolation is stifling!
Great, now we’re doing an episode of South Park! Can I be Chef?
Why, of course you can be Chef!
I’m…this random French girl I created. Bonjour!
You can tell she’s French because she’s wearing a beret.
Oui, exactement! 😉
Gravatar is trying to reveal my secret identity again…
Edit: Ignore this, I fixed it.
“Viva La Revolución! Blame Canada.
Love the avatar Bridgete.
Cute avatar, Bridgete, but it’s not so secret if you use the same name and blog address…
Everyone keeps jumping on the bandwagon… I WAS HERE FIRST!!!!!!!!!! [/matt;-)]
If it helps, I’m too lazy to change my avatar more than once every 6 months.
And even then I just dig up my 8-bit sprite sheets and dump a box around one.
This one isn’t supposed to be secret. One of my other avatars randomly showed up for a while, after I’d already seen the South Park one show up, so it wasn’t a refresh problem.
EB, I’ve actually had the South Park avatar for a long time, I just didn’t use it when I started commenting here. It’s still my avatar on my blog. 😉
Yeah yeah yeah… So you say :-p (I actually have South Parked versions of a bunch of coworkers on my computer. We were going to do a webcomic featuring a particularly crazy/insane/socially inept colleague, but it never happened)
I’m getting both cat and South Park Bridgete
I know, Kelli. Different email addresses. 😉
Isn’t the new Brazilian bf going to be confused if you call him Stan?
I mostly call him chéri, which works with the little French SP girl anyway.
Ha, I was thinking the same thing. Sometimes I think checking FB is like working at Chotchkie’s.
“Bridgete, we need to talk about your wall posts”.
“Really? I-I posted 4 new status updates this week. I also liked ‘Like this if you support the troops’ and linked to 2 funny pictures of small animals.”
“Now, you know, it’s up to you whether or not you wanna just do the bare minimum or, uh– Well, like SJ, for example, has 37 status updates today. And a terrific smile.”
“Okay, so you want me to wall post more?”
“Look, we want you to express yourself. Okay? Now, if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay. But some people choose to update their status and wall post more and we encourage that. Okay? You do wanna express yourself, don’t you?”
I don’t update 37 times a day. Unless you count Farmville, ’cause then that would sound about right.
I did have a non-Farmville post last night, it was a video of my awesomely adorable nieces (eventually) saying “Ronald McDonald is an evil clown.”
I was just using your name. Scrolled up and picked somebody. 🙂
The same method I use for my occasional Soap Opera posts.
Darn. I thought it was because I was so popular, but it’s because I’m a chronic commenter.
:sigh:
I may be the only person of my generation, in the middle class, in the U.S., who does not belong to Facebook….or Myspace….or Twitter…..
C’mon down to Mr. Bears used car depot and get the most car for your buck!
We have sedans, compacts, trucks, SUVs, sports cars, mini vans, and more! You name it, we either have it or can get it!
We’ll also give you top dollar trade in for your less than pristine car!
Hit a deer and need a new car? No problem, we’ll give you double it’s value in trade in! And if the deer is still stuck to the car Mr. Bear will give you TRIPPLE the trade in!
And head in right now for Salmon Days! If you bring Mr. Bear a fresh fish, he’ll give you 20% off the purchase of any car made before 2005! And no payments until 2012!
Cut! Ok, Mr. Bear we like the energy, but as we told you, there is NO such thing as Salmon Days! Lets-
Like hell there isn’t! RAWR OM NOM NOM NOM
Oh gods, not another director! Somebody get the tranquilizers and cattle prods!
Can I cut a deal with a pick-a-nick basket?
Crap! I missed an apostrophe and Ajax just timed out.
And there is an extra P in there as well.
I like having the extra P in tripple, makes it seem like a more impish word.
I wondered if that was intentional, because it makes it look like nipple.
I definitely don’t appreciate extra P, particularly when it misses the diaper.
Ah, EB – I understand the extra ‘P’ aversion, but how do you feel about extra nipple?
The list of things I never wanted to picture in my head now includes Grampdaddy’s third nipple.
Bonus nipp+ple! Buy two get one free!
TM – you’re projecting again. Just settle back and relax and it will all be better.
MiniEB might have an extra nipple. We’re not quite sure… The doctor said to give it a while and see what happens :-p
Beautiful Crystal Vases
*Anagram fun with bears*
Bear Vacates Suits Fully (Ewwwww)
Bear Avails Fussy Cutlet (Picky veal?)
Five Casual Slutty Bears (Naughty bears!)
Avast Bear Sulfites Lucy (Pirate ursine feeds Ms. Ball preservatives)
Bear Cafe Uvula Stylists (Yodeling Yogis)
Suave Bear Flays Cultist (Pay back for Jim Jones)
Rule 34 guarantees there is probably a movie out there titled “Goldilocks and the Five Casual Slutty Bears”.
I was flipping through the Direct TV channel guide last night and there was a movie on MAX called, “The Devil Wears Nada”
Made me snicker 🙂
No, that would be butterfingers…
What?
Must keep dairy products away from Ham.
Margarine
And I will never look at margarine in the same way again.
*Milky Way*
You have officially ruined one of my favorite candy bars.
*Almond Joy*
They get a little crazy with those movies Ham, HBO had one called “Cleavagefield” the other night. And alone time in my house is either “flicking the bean” or “snapping the bean” depending on the err…plumbing of your bean facility.
I never want to see a ham and cheese sammich again.
*Holds up index finger and opens mouth*
*Closes mouth*
There is a new nickname in the Taco Household.
I’m not telling what’s been nicknamed, but in the right lighting…
Obviously, the person was trying to take a picture of the beautiful vases, but was attacked by a…ummm…how to put this….furry little person….so, the poster decided to run away, and post pictures of a fireplace, while hoping no one would notice that there were no pictures of the vases. Also, they got a picture of their attacker, hoping someone on Craigslist could give advice on how to deal with a…furry little person…
What line? I didn’t cross a line. Or did I?
I guess no one got what I was getting at…thought someone would….or maybe I went too far past the line? Anyone?
I think we got it, but I think the humor is a little young for this audience.
We like our innuendo to be more pun based. Or along the lines of there being a chunk missing that is suggestive with its absence.
Granted we don’t like having those chunks missing in actual real world situations.
Missing bits are almost always messy and someone usually ends up with some sort of hospital or jail time.
hmm, are you suggesting Sparq was answering a CL ad, you know, one uh, ah, vases! Yeah, vases! And when they showed up with a camera and a stuftbar the house was empty except for Chris Hansen and a tv crew?
Mr. Sparkjangles
I knew a bear Sparkjangles and he’d sell to you
Some worn out ewers
With Cinnamon hair, no shirt, and hidden pants
The old soft sell
He bought so high, bought so high
Then his stocks went down
I met him in a house in [Location] he was
down and out
He looked to me to have button eyes
as he spoke right out
He talked of pairs, talked of pairs, he laughed
wiggled his ears and stopped
He said his name “Sparkjangles” and he threw in the sticks
the candle holders as well
He looked for his pants and then took a chance,
Oh his price so high, and then he said OBO or free
He went down in price, went down in price
and then found his clothes on the ground
Mr. Sparkjangles, Mr. Sparkjangles
Mr. Sparkjangles, no pants
If Mr. Bear says “SELL,” why would I buy anything? I’m going to go look for
useless crapdecorative items in my house to sell on CL!So is anyone else having troubles with the site? It seems like most of the times that I post, I get this message:
400 Bad Request
nginx
And then I can’t load the page for a few minutes. Longest few minutes of my life! (wait, is that too pathetic sounding…? -_-)
That’s hit me for a while now in FF on my desktop machine. I have to use IE if I’m at my desk. If I use the tablet, it’s mix of FF install (and, possibly, a vagarity of XP for Tablet) seem to prevent hte problem.
Every so often, on Replies mostly, I’ll get the 400 Error. The reply usually goes throug, but I have to close IE and restart it to find out. Which also resets any adores I’ve given, too. Which becomes annoying, I have to start at the top and work back down to where ever I was. Again.
You had enough coffee today Capn? You’re spelling today is almost as dodgy as mine is.
Yeah, under-caffineated; over filled with fluid; under-rested. Tuened way at the plasma center, too–so, I’ve wasted all the prep to be ahead of selling 900g of plasma.
But, I have an interview at 0915 Tuesday.
Looking at the ad photos again, I wonder why they have a picture of a window over their fireplace? Does it lead to Narnia? And why aren’t they selling that and the candlesticks with candles? ‘Tis a puzzlement.
That was supposed to be…*
No it leads to Care-a-Lot and the Forest of Feelings
P.S. I think Sparkies bear is Love-U-Long-Time bear
*I forgot question marks make it all funkified.
I’m glad you did that Hammy. I think I was on the beach during the tutorial that taught everyone how to snag a quote because when I got back nearly everyone-who-was-anyone was all of a sudden using it.
So I take it it’s [blockquote] text [/blockquote] in tag marks?
*pets the cute puppy on the head*
‘Spanks Hammy!
Don’t forget the butter!
*What line?*
Pssssssssst, if you right click in your browser window and then click “view source” you can see all the code for the entire site. Use CTRL+f to search for the bits of text.
Candlestix and painting are props owned by the RE agent selling the foreclosed house.
Or, they are part of Chris Hansen’s set dressing.
Slightly OT, but I signed up to get texts from the merchants near the University offering discounts. Today I got one from Johnny Rockets offering a
I can forgive most of the txtspk, but how does a restaurant misspell entree?
That’s EXACTLY how they spell it at Cake Wrecks!!!!
Yup….it’s gotta be right.
My favorite Wreck was the Happy Faulker Satherhood.
Maybe the entrie is around in back?
But only for… for… whathisname… the guy with the hippo-mouthed avatar!
**picks up phone.**
What’s that, Mr. Sharpton?
By the way, a question for drmk:
If you can see it, have Google searches for “Al Sharpton” ever offered YSaC any hits?
Depressy get .17¢ royalty for every random unrelated figure in craigslist ads! Do not mock them or you will incur Depressy’s wrath!
You only get 17 hundredths of a cent?
Wow.
I get a 15¢ royalty* for every creepy and totally out of place being which appears in the ads on the sidebar.
*It goes straight to eye glitter, beard extensions, and bubble wrap.
[royalty corey] Actually fractional-cent royalties are pretty common. That’s why it’s so important if an album sells a 100,000, a million, 10 million copies–if you are earning 1.5¢ each, a million salse is some coin.
[/corey]
Depressy’s agent said it was good deal. Now Depressy may have to kill agent.
Don’t forget the lime and scissors!
What in Bob’s name is that fuzzy thing next to Mr. Bear? Is that his cat overlord? Does the cat control Mr. Bear and Mr. Bear control Sparky?
Or even worse, is that fuzzy thing a part of his anatomy that might need the kleenex that sj suggested?
Don’t drag me into the gutter, that was Mudsy.
Maaaaaa! sarajean’s blaming me for shit again.
You girls go to my room until you can learn to play nice!
Okay, I guess we’ll never see the light of day then.
Start running if Ham pulls out butter or margarine.
What about Crisco?
That depends, is it vintage?
I would think you would be against us playing nice.
Naughty girls are more fun.
As a matter of fact that’s exactly where I’ll be…
What?
Where did that stray comma come from? That ain’t mine.
Who else thinks it’s high time Hammy had a date?
Hammy is salt cured. His expiration date can go on forever.
Yes, yes it can*
*pun intended
Dunno from HC, but it’s been so long since I had a date, I can’t remember if they are tart or sweet . . .
Hmm, a vauge memory of dipping dates in honey and rolling them with nuts . . .
**splutters**
I always knew the resident seaman* would eventually cross the line.
What’s that you say?
Sorry sj.
I’m kinda surprised it wasn’t me.
I’m really maligning your reputation this week. Yesterday I called you
cheapa bargain and today I’m putting you in the gutter.*I’d put myself in Hammie’s room but he has a tub of peanut butter open, so I’m thinking he needs some alone time.
I have a reputation?!?
Cool.
sj does a perfectly sublime job of maligning her own reputation—daily!
Don’t sweat it Kelli.
**What in Bob’s name is that fuzzy thing next to Mr. Bear?**
That’s Mrs. Bear.
She likes to watch.
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[Matt]You people and your assumptions! How do you know it’s not the other Mr. Bear, huh? How do you know that the Rule 34 mandatory Yogi and Booboo shippers were wrong? Huh?[/Matt]
😛
Because sharing is caring:
Said a flea to a fly in a flue,
Said the flea “Oh, what shall we do?”
Said the fly “Let us flee,”
Said the flea “Let us fly,”
So they flew through a flaw in the flue
I know where the other two bears and Goldilocks went…
*urp*
Better watch it. Hunters are coming. You’ll be hanging from the backyard swing set with your pawfins bedazzled.
“….and this one is just right!”
Not afraid of hunters in their flimsy little boats…
Now, fisherman…
*shudders*
Aren’t “fishermen” and “hunters in boats” the same thing?
Or am I the only one who ever went fishing with a .22?
No, not the only one…
Only switch .22 for 12ga or .30-06 (or M80’s)
We only used the .22 on snakes and turtles. Maybe the occasional bass or catfish that did not go quietly into that good night.
I personally go with a gatling gun and a large stock of warheads, but that’s just my fishing trip….
And now it’s time for a musical interlude:
Who’s the king of animals in Location?
Who’s the one that brought the vases fame?
Who designs the florals in Location?
Mr. Bear the Scary is his name!
Singalong, every one!
COURAGE!!!
Oh…that’s something else.
My goodness, Windrose, is that the “Kimba the White Lion” song?
Now I feel about a million years old.
Got it in one, camille! The first anime, I believe.
Wow, Windy. What’s with the *ghrkgl*
*hrrm* Sorry, choked on my drool for some reason there.
Anyway, what’s going on with the… new…
Sorry, my mind wandered for some reason…
…
What was I talking about again?
There, Taco, I fixed it so your comments make sense again. Well, sort of make sense.
To quote EB “THE WORLD MUST KNOW” I’ve had this ditty stuck in my head all day…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZjoxSDEvbo
HAhaha, that’s hilarious! I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before… bump bump :-p
The final tally for the Ish Not.A.Lion. Regiment Marching Band. All other commentators wishing to join will have to wait until November. Or ask really, really nicely and hope I haven’t actually done anything with this list yet.
~The Ish Not.A.Lion. Regiment Marching Drum and Brass Band~
Hailing from Ish, Guatsusnake County, Kclhm
~Marchers of Rank~
CapnMac – Drum Major
Astrognash – Field Commander
Dan – Brass Captain
Windrose – Drum Captain
Lola – Guard Captain
~Hornline~
EclecticBlue – Trumpet 1
Camille – Trumpet 2
Bianchi Sound – Trumpet 3
Grampdaddy – Mellophone 1
Dan – Mellophone 2
MandaB – Mellophone 3
Moira – Baritone 1
Drmk – Baritone 2
Astrognash – Baritone 3
SpaceBug – Contrabass 1
~Drumline~
SilvaNoir – First Bass
Sarajean80 – Second Bass
NotMyName – Third Bass
Christina – Quint Drum 1
Windrose – Quint Drum 2
Bridgete – Snare Drum 1
Lou Stool – Snare Drum 2
~Color Guard~
Lola – Flag 1
Kelli – Flag 2
ArchedEyebrows – Flag 3
HamCan – Flag 4
~Staff~
Director- Kitty Shark
Drill Instructor- Depressey
Brassline Instructor- Al Sharpton
Drumline/Pit Instructor- Bacontini
Color Guard Instructor- Mr. Winkey
Can I be the unofficial caterer?
Can I be in charge of molehills on the field?
I have a couple of mountains I want to erect.
Look, I made it to second
basebass with Astro!:phone rings:
Umm … did we ever find out what CPS stands for?
NMN made it all the way to third
basebass with Astro and now some guy from Dateline wants to see NMN in the kitchen.Is it some guy named Chris?
Someone by that name is trying to call me on line two.
Yeah, and his last name is like some weird soft drink brand.
Yay, I get to play as first chair left out!
I didn’t even know we had try outs for band this month. Guess I was distracted by the sliced coffee in the “Free Candy” van.
Well, I haven’t started anything yet with them, so if you ask really nicely to play something which isn’t drums…
Wait, bad enough I amost missed band try-outs, but who took Candy into custody? Have they set her bail? Has Amnesty International been told?
I mean, really! Marsbar!
Also, Taco (if you come back), I’d like to let you know that you also can’t apply for guard, because, well, with the uniform, that would mean I’d have condoned you whipping out the TacoThong.
I didn’t wanna be in your stupid marching band anyway. I’d much rather lean against the school wall and smoke and make snarky comments about you nerds. Yeah, I’m too cool.
Wanna join Jazz Choir with me Meredith?
Only if you don’t tell the other kids. I don’t want them giving me the business at the malt shop.
I’ve saved you a spot. 🙂 I have popsicles and
alkyholadult beverages.Cool, man. We’re never gonna conform. Down with the man!
Psst, your conformity to non-conformity is showing.
Who’s conforming?
Those who aren’t conforming are.
(Give me a few minutes, I’m not conforming as fast as I can)
Waaaaaaiiiiiit for it… waaaaaiiiiiiit for it.
With the twin powers activate. Form of non-conformity!
Apparently I can’t really do a non-conformist conversion that well. I look like either a mime or a Noh Shite.
Haha, Emo Taco :-p
When do I get my instrument?
Oh, your new pictur moved. Now my other… comment… *Drool*
Wuh uh… duh muh?
I’m thinking, no one’s going to care if you have an instrument.?!?!
I think she might have two ….
and Astro, I want off mellophone. I want to play the…. cups.
They will all be distracted by the shiny shoulder knees, allowing us to vanquish or opponents and soak the turf with their blood!
What do you mean it’s not that kind of band? But I just got my barbarian furs dry cleaned!
Windrose, that’s the color guard’s uniform! In fact… **checks number** Yes, that is, in fact, HamCan’s specific uniform.
*tries to picture a puppy in a sparkly bikini*
*gets dizzy*
It’s intended to be reminiscent of Luxury Woman, with a hint of reference to the mermaids from Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors.
Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors
Astro – is that going to be the name of our field show? Subtitled “The Day the Baritones Blew” ?
I can barely wait to see the color guards routine!
Suggested music:
Copland: Fanfare for the Common Man
South Pacific: Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair
Rolling Stones: Satisfaction
Actually, the show is You Suck at Craigslist.
The repertoire is:
Red Table for Sale – Phillip Glass
A Very Craigslist Musical: An Anthology of HamCan – HamCan, arr. Astrognash
Spambot Overture – Cleverbot
I would pay money to see this show.
Taco, LimeLolly, Grampdaddy,thanks! Sarajean, don’t give the whole plan away! Astro, you’ll just have to change it. I’m not giving up this delightful outfit. Even Silva thinks it would look silly on Hammy.
Well, at least let me try it
inon for size.What?
When we have the MASSIVE LINK YSaC convention in Las Vegas, I’m thinking of having a hundred or more buttons made up that read “What?” It has become a meme in itself. And that way when we cross a line innocently, we can just point to the button. May have to make rules about where the button can be worn.
The buttons should say.
You suck my Meme!
What?
Why do I now imagine that there will be a door person and a velvet rope we all have to cross to get to the snark and crackers?
I WANT A LAS VEGAS YSAC CONVENTION.
*ahem*
Yeah, that would be cool.
Windrose! This is marching band, not try-outs for Vixen’s new drummer.
*Yeah, I had their album, I was in 9th grade.
1526 CDT, I get here and there’s already 212 responses. Almost daunting.
You always get here late now, Cappy. Usually after I’ve shut down the monitor.
Been the story of my days of late. Go and beat the bushes looking for $20, or $30 worth of work, then hit the plasma center if that does not pan out. Makes it late in the afternoon by any definition.
Ok, all the way to the bottom but for EB’s comment, and only took until 1642CDT
Dont worry Capn, I just started posting and get here around 1720 eastern time. Dang 12 hour night shifts…
Oooh, Shiney!
OT: I posted desk pictures on Facebook, too… I even tagged random stuff in them :-p
I like the dictionary monitor stand, I had a couple reams of paper under my monitor once 😉
I can’t take pictures at work…
I don’t think I have the equipment to ream paper.
What?
OT-ish: I haven’t had as much time as I had hoped to get in some late night snark (ater dark snark?) because we decided to get an early start on putting the house back together. I’m in charge of painting the base boards and my husband told me to make sure I don’t leave any lines. I told him not to worry, I’ve had plenty of practice making lines disappear.
YOU ATE DARK SNARK!? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE A (mem)BRANESPLODE THAT WOULD SIMULTANEOUSLY DESTROY THE UNIVERSE AND PROVE M-THEORY!???
Oh hell, and I can’t even blame meds this time. I broke a nail, does that count?
I think I’ll stay in uniform for the punching. PeterPuckham, I know you may never pass this way again, but we here at YSaC will remember you for, golly, weeks and weeks! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Racine!