YSaC, Vol. 777: Under new management.
Website management
I am interested in purchasing a website. The site will most likely be already bringing in 300-600 per month. I know very little about websites, code, ect. I will monitor any PayPal accounts, ect for unusual activity. that are connected with the website. I am strictly interested in this from a profit view point. I’ll purchase the website. You will run the website. You will get a discussed percentage of the profit each month. If we do well then I will have money to buy more websites. Which means you will make more money also. You will be a independent contractor not a partner so i can fire you if you do something stupid. Email me with what you think.
Dear loyal readers of YSaC,
drmk and I are pleased to announce a change in management here at your daily snark-fest. While you will see no change in the website from your end, and may continue your witty and erudite commentary as per usual, we have opted to merge with a soon-to-be larger concern. This will allow us to make less money than we currently do from the site, and therefore dedicate less time to it while simultaneously running the risk of being fired for doing the exact same thing we were doing while self-employed. Actually, I haven’t told drmk about this yet, but I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.
Thanks for the heads-up on the opportunity, KT!
*Insert funny snark here*
Who was the web site administrator I saw you with?
I have no clue what you are talking about Windrose.
*Slowly backs away.*
**Fingers crossed.**
That was no web site administrator, that was my mother!
*sound of crickets*
Yeah, that joke was never that funny.
That’s no moon, that’s your mother!
😉
EclecticBlue – I’m telling on your for conforming to the “your mother” convention.
Drmk hates conventions, convections, and conclusions.
She also hates rap, shepherds pie, and puppies.
By the way, the new ad is up, if anyone is looking.
OK, actual snark now. So this guy wants to buy a website that is already slightly popular, yet has no clue how to run a website, and expects to be the boss of “you,” when “you” probably know way more about running a website than he does? Asshat.
We’ve had a conversation with sparky and we think he’s just a straight shooter who’s got upper management written all over him.
The problem is, NMN, you haven’t challenged him enough.
Can he use Microsoft Office? How about Word? Powerpoint? Excel? Access? Does he know how to use a search engine, or update a web page? How about create a new web site? I can do all of that, and I can bet money that at the minimum he can’t use Access. At the minimum.
(Admittedly, most of you all can probably do those things too.)
You should build him an obstacle course. That should be plenty challenging.
Yes, but because he doesn’t know these things it makes him management material!
Has no one else recognized this line yet? Awesome movie!!!
Ok, CJ did below. But she responded to the original comment and not to Taco’s, so I was confused.
[mutter]I could burn this whole place down.[/mutter]
What I love is that I recognized it without ever having seen the movie…which just represents the crowd I run with.
We’re going to put Sparky in a position to have as many as 3 people working right under him.
Would those be real people, or cat math people?
In Cat Math, “3 people” translates into “elebenty rutabaga baklava”.
TRIFORCE! SJ is the keeper of the Triforce of Cat Wisdom!
Yay!
(Not having coffee this morning is looking like it might not have been a good idea).
SJ! What happened to you? Where is the cute kitty? *sad*
Here she is!
My computer froze up and I had to reboot it. When I signed back on to YSaC I misspelled my email address.
Whew! I was concerned. 🙂
Wait, of the three direct-reports, how many will be named “Bob”?
Will Red Swinglines be supplied?
Just how much flair will really be required?
I know he can GET the job… but can he DO the job?
I’m sorry, but his flair is lacking. Brian has 37 pieces of flair on today, and terrific smile.
Look. we just want Sparky to express himself…okay?
You know how much flair I have? So much, I have a freaking flaregun.
Thanks CJ, I was hoping somebody would get the reference :).
Excuse me, I think you have my stapler.
OMG…Taco…I quote and quote that bad boy to death. So does hubby…he has even gone so far as to teach the rest of the guys in his shop the proper nickname for their expeditor…he’s now known as “The People Person…Dammit”.
I had a basement office in my last job. I mentioned this to my sister and she asked if I had a red stapler… a red SWINGLINE stapler.
Then I realized I did.
One of the previous occupants had supplied one.
Then I had to go re-watch the movie.
[stapler corey]The funny thing is Swingline didn’t make a red stapler at the time the movie was made, the prop people had to customize a standard black one. After the movie came out so many fans asked for a red one that Swingline started making them in that color.[/stapler corey]
I have a tag on my blog that I feel would work for this kind of ad, too. It’s “does this ever work?”
I want to buy a multimillion-dollar business that I know nothing about and fire everyone! I finally have a plan for my retirement. Wonder if the ceo will let me pay him after I rake in a few mil?
You said it better than I did.
Well, in all fairness, all Sparqi specified was that it be bringing in “300 – 600 per month”; of what is not stated.
So it could be Paraguayan pesetas, obos (flacid or tumescent) vintage cereals (one must suppose that vintage serials would be allowed as well, despite Pauline’s objections).
Egads, that’s it! Dang it, those slack-witted stoners sold the pizza boxes for lages! Lages!
Yes! Now I finally have someone who can keep an eye on those vintage cereals my blog has been raking in! Someone has to be sure they’re truly vintage. I hope Sparky here has a good eye for that sort of thing.
“Email me what you think.”
Me: Hi, I’d like to tell you what I think about your idea to buy a website.
Asshat: Go ahead.
Me: You sir, are an asshat.
Asshat: Excuse me?
Me: You heard me, asshat.
Asshat: What the he-
*CLICK*
Oh wait, that was a telephone conversation. Ah well, close enough.
Sounds like one of the conversations I had with Cleverbot.
So…I’ve never been to Cleverbot. What’s the site, Cleverbot.com?
Something like that. It’s good for about 15 minutes fun. Then it just gets annoying.
I know what I’ll be doing for some of the day…
Me: Did Jesus have kids?
So, I had a conversation with Cleverbot, and one of it’s responses was “No, because you are a parrot.” The only thing that was in my mind after that was WTF.
Well, Cleverbot is probably only clever when people of the “Chezburgr” ilk use it (as a comparison of cleverness anyway).
As I said, it entertained me for 15 minutes then it quickly became ‘meh’.
Eventually any conversation with it either becomes circular, or devolves into profanity… lots of profanity.
I called it an asshat and it said “How nice of you to say so!”. After that I just typed in random obscenities. It seems to enjoy it.
Type gibberish…or type stuff backwards, ekil siht.
My wife had a 10 minute conversation with it in French, then all of a sudden it started complaining, “Hey, I don’t speak French!”
Nac enoyna dnatsrednu tahw M’i gniyas? I t’nac pots gnikaeps ekil siht! PLEH! M’I GNIKAEPS NI SEUGNOT!
(Hint: a mirror would be helpful.)
Nope, don’t understand. Sorry NMN.
I told it I was HAL and I was not, under any circumstances, opening the pod-bay doors.
It didn’t like me after that.
“This conversation serves no purpose anymore; goodbye.”
Remains one of the best and most useful lines for any movie.
I use the wav file of that as the closing sound for email and commo apps.
According to my conversation with it, Cleverbot is “in the closet” with Google.
I also got it to admit that it was a computer upon confusing it by showing it a chunk of source code. 😀
So … I would do all the work with the actual website, including shipping any product, dealing with irate customers, updating and maintaining the site, and basically doing everything I was doing before you came along while you…take all the money and give me an allowance while attempting to construct a Ponzi scheme of other gullible websites. And you will fire me if I do something you think is stupid, like complain about how grossly unfair the entire idea is.
I am failing to see the problem here.*
*That might be a lie.
When can you start?
As soon as you sign this contract.
*holds up thick stack of slightly singed papers that smell faintly of brimstone and sulfur*
I’ll need a pint of your blood for that.
I can give you a gallon of Taco’s blood, does that count?
*C’mere Taco, I’ve got some fresh coffee slices for you.*
Good thing for Taco he decided not to have coffee this morning! Unless that decision has been reversed since he posted 🙂
Who are we kidding? Taco drinks so much coffee, his blood IS coffee.
So it sounds like you could substitute coffee for blood in the contract, and it would still be legally viable. Sweet!
SJ. You’re fired. I want your kitty on my desk by the end of the day. Pack up all your kibble, you’ll never work in Ish again!
But I don’t work in Ish now! I work in [location].
Did anybody besides me see the line quivering here??
EDIT: this was supposed to be under Taco’s desk….er I mean comment.
Is it because he wants my kitty on his desk?
Yeah, that could be entering a grey line-crossing area.
Actually, I suspect it’s a bit more twisted than even that.
I’m guessing Sparqi thinks he can go find profitable web sites, buy them, kick the current staff to the curb, and find (cheap) (pliable) (more eager than smart) managers to work for what ever crumbs they are tossed. Which will be dicey when the dufus buys a site dedicated to rehoming partially-used vaseline or the like . . .
Now, the thought that this is a would-be Luigi and Guidio Fricotti attempting to shake down a Colonel lest his tanks break or paratroops catch fire for 2S 12p a week would be amusing.
Yhe possibility that this goomba thinks he’s a goodfella and will be able to skim any website for cash, and you’ll work for vig, could run afoul of how niche markets work.
Isn’t that what the Cheezburger guy does already?
I am interested in purchasing a universe. I know very little about running universes, so you all can go about your lives more or less the way you do now. I am interested in this universe purely from a profit viewpoint. You will refer to me as Empress of the Universe and tithe a portion of your earnings to me. If we do well then I will have money to buy more universes. Which means you can then move to a different universe, which might be sort of cool. I will be the Empress and you will not, so I can smite you more or less at will. Don’t bother letting me know what you think about this, because as Empress I can’t be bothered with your petty little concerns.
As Empress of the Universe, I beseech you, wouldst thou like an Emperor of the Universe?
What? And share my power and newfound wealth? Nah, I’m looking for something more like the Cabana Boy of the Universe.
I’ll settle for that, so long as I get to settle any..err…disputes in your (note that I didn’t say our) universe(s).
No, better yet, I will become Emperor and Warmaster of a different Universe. All who cross me shall be dealt with harshly(from video game)!
Sounds like somebody plays NIS games.
I lied. It’s not really from a video game (that I know of). I just didn’t want to sound overly crazy.
Nothing wrong with sounding overly crazy here. I mean you have me to make you appear grounded and well adjusted by comparison.
Camille,
I can be a Cabana Boy… er, rather, I can do the ‘Pool Boy Dance’.
Does that count?
The latest addition to useful YSaC navigational tools:
THE CALITACOBRATOR
Grounded————–Crazy
:)——-:(——-;(——-Taco
You can also plot that against the number of cups of coffee. Though you have to adjust for the parabolic nature of my coffee intake vs. crazy quotient.
Camille and NMN, get a (universe-size) room!
Can I interest you in a slightly used Doomsday Device? Just the thing the squash those rebellious natives and instill fear and awe in your worthless subjects.
I’ll take four, and a side of coffee slices (I don’t drink coffee, it’s just for the heck of it).
With coffee slices you can get a contact buzz just by being in the same room.
You’re in luck! You can’t drink coffee slices anyway! It’s like eating a thick cake, or frozen molasses! You won’t HAVE to drink coffee! It’s great! I can’t stop shouting! Help! WHY AM I STILL SHOUTING!
Care for some more coffee slices, Taco?
*Hides evil grin*
I dare you to “not stop shouting” for the rest of the day, Taco.
Dammit…y’all! Taco got into the coffee slices again!
Oh, and I’m working on creating a Coffee Cake so that I can eat sliced coffee.
So far the theory is this: Find a chocolate cake recipe that has a fair amount of milk in it. Replace the milk in the recipe with powdered milk reconstituted with espresso. Bake. Enjoy.
Alternately I’m thinking of replacing all the cocoa powder with instant espresso powder.
Ok, caffeinated marshmellows and coffee-slike ‘smores all around ! [G}
Taco i may be able to help with your cake scheme. I made my wife a chocolate cake last year for her birthday that used a few cups of coffee in the recipe*. that could be a good base point for your espresso idea.
* do not feed to children for breakfast as they WILL be wired all day.
Taco, I’ll post my dark chocolate espresso cake recipe in the forum later tonight.
This “slightly used Doomsday device….”would it happen to be a huge spherical space station of somewhat famous repute? Because if so, I want all exhaust ports covered up.
They are mostly covered already, the only one left is hardly bigger than a whomp rat. It’s not like anyone would be insane enough to fly into a Doomsday Device, shoot the vent with pinpoint accuracy without using mechanical assistance, and then fly out in a triumphant gout of flame.
Really, how often does that happen?
I’ll take two. But can you put thousands of guns on one of them, just in case someone manages to blow up the first one? Oh, and put a shield around it; you know, one of those big fancy energy shields all the other evil empires are talking about. And put the shield generator somewhere inhabited by primitive ape-like creatures, like in a forest. Can you do all that?
Once, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
:shuffles through catalog of planets:
Hmmm… No primitive ape-like species, but I have a nice little moon that looks nothing like the redwood forests of California populated with a species of stone age teddy bears.
Hmmm, I wonder if we could stuff them and sell them to small children.
I hear they taste like
catchicken.Hmmm…
let’s see…
**shuffles through catalog.**
Darn it, I’m leaving ILM-Mart and heading to Magrathea!
Sara, does it have all of its lages? I’m only interested if it’s not missing any lages.
…and I’m wondering if I can retro-fit it for firing Bantha poo-doo…I hear that’s some deadly
shitammunition right there…Profitable websites for sale – bring in $300 to $600 per month guaranteed!
I will manage the site for a small percentage of the profits.
$5000 gets you the keys and URL for one site – PayPal only.
No restrictions on the number of sites you may apply for.
**PayPal~Account~Info**
I found an admin for him…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8_Kfjo3VjU
*Warning may cause you to spray coffee*
Website management
*Anagram fun*
Bee Men Manage Twist (Dancing with the bee keepers?)
Bang Sweetmeat Mine (Geico caveman deer hunting)
Ameba Meeting Newts (Odd tryst…)
Basement Mating Ewe (Taco, Stop that!!)
Wet Gas Eminent, Beam (When Captain Kirk REALLY has to go…)
Mab Mange; we ten sit!
Bite Mange Stew, Amen
Bam! We in mange test!
Sounds like Chef Emeril mated with an eczematous Yoda.
In the absence of Isaac, allow me to point out that you may be confusing the meanings of “Eminent” and “Imminent.”
I figured someone would say something…with anagrams you work with the letters you are given, besides eminent also means prominent so it fits. 😛
And also, ameba isn’t a word…it’s amoeba.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ameba
😛
Huh. Well, spell check didn’t accept it, so there! 😛
You guys are missing the whole spirit of the thing, it’s not fun anymore.
*Walks off pouting and gets into a Waaaambulance*
*hands HamCan a popsicle*
Can I have a popsicle too, LimeLolly?
*Takes Popsicle, sniffle*
Thanks
*Nom nom nom*
*hands NMN popsicle*
Anyone else?
Sure, I’ll take one.
And sorry, HamCan, I didn’t mean to rain on your parade.
Can I have a purple one? According to my eldest niece, purple is the best flavor.
My favorite is grape. Or cherry. Cherry is my other favorite. But grape is favoriter, so if you have both, I want grape.
Oooooh…I’ll take one! Except I don’t have a favorite. I have an other favorite, which is my favoriter, but I’m betting you don’t have that one, no one ever does…so how about you give me one of my least favorites? Only, I don’t know which one it is. I mean, it could be that one…or it might be this one. I just can’t decide.
Tell ya what, I’ll take the favorite least favorite you have. Sound good?
Hey, where’d everybody go??
I’ll have what she’s having.
*hands CJ a door and a rainbow pop*
I’d like a popsicle, are there any in Malt Whisky? if not, Bourbon will suffice.
Sara, I’m not entirely sure that what CJ is having is legal in most states… But hey, you can give it a shot!
EclecticBlue, you get multiple doors from me for the Brian Reagan reference.
I’m honestly surprised no one’s crossed the line yet.
**takes popsicle, licks and sucks on it slowly.**
There, that’s better.
*looks at all the little sticks in the trash, and colorful puddles on the tables* Any cherry popsicles left?
Sigh. Another day of tasty treats that I missed out on. 🙁
*swipes finger though the melty puddle on the table while no one is looking*
Ew, essence of angry badger!
*ps: SQUEEEEEEE!!! ANOTHER CUUUUUUTE PUPPEH! HamCan’s robbing banks again!
I anagrammed the old-fashioned way and I got:
Enigma meant beets. (Whatever that means)
What is considered “the old fashioned way”?
My (sloppy) method is to write the starter phrase on a piece of paper and just cross off letters as I use them.
Paper and pencil = old fashioned.
Anagram generator = modern method
Though I did cross my eyes and stick out my tongue.. so maybe that helped.
There are Anagram Generators?!
*Throws his pencil and paper into the trash*
Easy anagraming here I come!
*Runs to google*
Obviously, it means beets.
Dear Sir or Maam,
I am very interested in selling you my website. Perhaps you have heard of it. It is called amazon.com. I have been running it by myself for a while now and need a break. Please send me $20000 via Paypal and I will send you the keys to the Internet. (I assume you don’t have your own Internet Keys. If you do, please forgive my stupidity. I’m not fired already am I? Laugh out loud….)
Best, Bianchi
What a unique way of asking for someone’s profits.
Similar to a bad marriage that ends in alimony. Let’s enter into a contract, I’ll do no work, and you still pay me for not working. Plus, I get to move on to other websites and do the same. But you, you’re stuck here until I kick you out!
Sparky is such a golddigger.
Follow the yellow prick toad
We’re off to buy a website, The wonderful website of ish.
You’ll find the admin is a whiz of a web! If ever a whiz! there was.
If ever oh ever a whiz! there was the admin of ish is one because,
Because, because, because, because, because.
Because of the nothing that he does.
We’re off to buy a website. The wonderful website of ish
A brazilian adores and a flock of flying monkeys to you Hammy for what will no doubt be my ear worm for the day.
I would like to sell this Comment space.
$300-$600
or best offer.
I will only buy minty comment space, yours is used.
I’ll give you….HamCan.
You can’t give me!
You can take me though…
*winks*
**winks at HamCan**
I’ll take you.
I’m not that kind of Can.
I will give you a firm obo.
I have some vintage crisco and empty lipstick cases, do you remember what the exchange rate is through tamales to OBOs?
EB…let me consult increasingly-cranky-due-to-sharing-domain-with-three-year-old-
hellion-boy catulator…Chases catulator from under bed, corners him in utility room, deftly avoids swipe, placates with catnip-flavored treats….
Let’s see…it says the exchange rate of tamales to OBOs is…
….one green prom dress for every bag of chips, or three six-sided octagon tables for every 27 fider warches…
Hmm, that’s a little too rich for my blood… Ah well, I guess I will just have to find my own comment space.
I’m so into you, but I’m way too smart for you. Even my henchmen think I’m crazy–I’m not surprised that you agree. If you could find some way to be a little bit less afraid of me, you’d see the voices in my head say that I shouldn’t kill you yet… I shouldn’t kill you yet…. I shouldn’t kill you yet….
[/random earworm]
I think I’m still a bit with the “but THE WORLD HAS TO KNOW” stage. Let’s check with THE CALITACOBRATOR
Grounded————–Crazy
🙂 ——-:(——-;(—*—-Taco
Yeah, I’m nearing Taco… time for caffeine!
(Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?)
Yeah, I had to start drinking some coffee around noon. I was making the interns concerned for my mental state*.
*Nebraska
I got in to work, realized that I was half an hour late for a meeting… Then we went straight from the meeting to a birthday celebration, and by the time I got to my desk for the first time, I was about 2 hours late for my 160 mg of caffeine. But now I feel better 😀
Signs of coffee addiction:
1) You have, at some point, had 2 or more full coffee mugs on your desk in order to save yourself extra trips to the coffee pot. (Check, my record is 3, then I bought myself a giant mug)
2) You have more than 2 devices capable of brewing coffee. (Check, I’ve got 4; 8 if you count both work and home)
3) Your set of white plastic chopsticks are all stained coffee brown in the 4 inch area that fits into the coffee mug. (All 12 sets, check)
4) There is a coffee mug ring on your desk that cannot be removed, even with industrial strength stain remover. (Check)
5) You have eaten raw coffee or instant coffee without it being a dare or a bet. (Double check, and more than once)
I solved the coffee mug problem by placing the coffee maker on my desk.
My desk is laid out like this…
Coffemaker–20″ monitor–24″ monitor–20″ monitor–IP phone.
monitor stand
Box of paper towels laptop Starbucks thermal coffee mug.
keyboard–mouse
Me*Hi, waves*
My desk:
Mug with pens in it, Mug, Mug, Mug, Kleenex sitting on top of a UPS, 24″ monitor, French press, Zohar, Computer, paper towels, damaged x-ray tube that I think is neat.
I read that as “Mug with penis in it”
*Drinks more coffee*
Freud would have a field day with that.
My bad, it should have been Zahor, not the Zohar.
Granted I would really love to construct a lego Zohar for my desk.
Freudian Slip (noun)
A Freudian Slip is when you intend to say one thing but instead say your mother.
Heck, I’m having a field day with that!
I’ve missed being in the gutter.
My desk is kinda crowded, let’s see if I can get a good summary, right to left: Medical reference books, bowl with change, two monitors (19″ and 27″ish) with 10 sticky notes between them (and a Monster sticker), USB can cooler with a T Rex on top, IP phone, plastic bins with office supplies, spoons, Uno cards, various company-emblazoned desk toys. On my cube walls are a regex cheat sheet, vi/vim cheat sheet, and vimperator cheat sheet, and a storage bin thing stuffed with food and snacks. I also have a flat of water bottles under my desk… the COO jokes that if we get snowed in, he’s going to come hang out with me :-p
(Wow, my desk really gives away a lot about me… :-))
What do you think it says about me that I have a mug with a penis in it?
Ummmm….that you’re tidy? Thorough? All-inclusive? Don’t like sugar? You like your testosterone steeped?
That you forgot your pants?
*looks around desk at home*
*visualizes desk at work*
Hmmm. No paper towels. Is this a guy thing?
Let’s see….IN/OUT basket, file sorter, document holder, kleenex box, monitor, clock, TWO pen..yes, pen holders, paperweight, paper clip dispenser, hand sanitizer in one of those cool holders with hands, large diet coke, post-it note dispenser, name plate, business card holder, and a rock…just because.
I have a big desk, but I don’t like to flaunt it…
Yes, we have them so the girls can borrow them as they seem to never have them on their desks…Same reason we have jackets hanging on our chairs.
Ok, this intra-meme has caused two things.
First, I had to get up and start some coffee even if it is 1530 (and it just started to rain–catulator woke up and pointed this out to me–something about the sound of the rain on the roof and coffee).
Second, I’m contemplating a facebook photo album of desktop photos.
I have a cafetiere mug for making special filter coffee in a handy mug-sized portion. They’re quite the thing in our office. No-one functions properly without them – something to do with planning departments, I think. Other desk rubbish includes a Disney Cinderella pen that lights up, and a bean bag rat. In amongst the piles of paperwork, of course.
Capn- As in, a collection of all of our desks? That would be pretty neat–let me know and I can get some of my desk to you :-p
Let’s see mine… Pencil sharpener, sheet music, Civ4 manual, speaker, Monitor, Speaker, Civ4 Box, Calculator, Video Games, Model of the Ocracoke Lighthouse, Music CDs, the Sims 2 Case, hole puncher, clutter, and ants sprinkles generously thorughout.
*nods*
Come to think of it, HC, you are correct. I’m always borrowing “just a smidge” of something Mr. Eyebrow has, and his jackets are always handier (and warmer) when I’m cold. Wise men are always prepared.
No damn way that I could list everything on my desk. I shall have to take a picture for ya’ll.
However, AMONG the things on my desk are six sets of magnetic BBs, the plastics from two laptop lids (JUST the plastics – the LCDs in them were used to repair other laptops), several screwdrivers of varying sizes, a pirate snoopy, six grinning feather-top pens, three disassembled Blackberry phones, two monitors, two laptops, (four desktops UNDER the desk), three hard drives, and assorted keyboards and mice.
I REALLY need to put some of that away and recycle some of the other stuff.
Oh, no coffee mugs except for the one that I keep printer rollers in.
Ok, this desk is mostly covered in paper. The cpu thower, then the monitor on its arm (legacy of CRT); then the cubby full of references and CDs. Mostly a mess of scribbled notes that are all half-vitally important.
Did post an album of my various desks (such as I have) on facebook–which several of you will see as newsfeed in the morning.
Let’s see…
1) Yup. At one point I even had a custom-made hand thrown mug that held a little over a quart of coffee. One of my cats broke it though.
2)Yup. Four total if you cound the French Press and mini French Press.
3)Nope. I don’t have any white plastic chopsticks, but there are a number of orphaned spoons laying about with rock-hard coffee residue in the bowls.
4)Nope. I’ve got a glass topped desk, much easier to remove coffee stains.
5)Yup, but it was in high school.
That gives me three out of five.
I’ll give you honorary on number 3, as it’s kinda specialized.
But know that you can buy 12 pairs of sturdy, white, plastic chopsticks for like $3 at an Asian food mart. They make excellent stir sticks and are easier to clean than a spoon.
(Since I eat Chinese or Thai carry out at least twice a week, my chopsticks actually do get used as chopsticks, they’re just really handy when I want to stir my coffee)
I have several sets of nice ones that I picked up in Chinatown on my last trip to San Fransisco to visit the relatives, I wouldn’t use them to stir coffee. The disposable ones I get with Chinese food are usually pressed into service as paint stirrers and other purposes that would make them unsuitable for anything food related.
If they are so easy to clean, then why are yours stained with coffee?
Because clean is a relative term when you leave the chopstick sitting in the coffee for an hour.
You can still clean it, but it’s no less stained after sitting in the hot tub for so long.
And then you have Pad Kraw Paw coffee… YUM!
Here I sit all brokenhearted,
… without coffee.
But you have Popsicles, we can work out a trade!
Feels like a trap… I only have green ones left, how much coffee can I get?
Trap?
Ooh, coffee popsicle (Kahluha even more betta [g])
Dear Gods; what have you created Capn, WHAT HAVE YOU CREATED?!
Dunno, as I clearly failed to secure the IP rights first, it is not likely to enrich me [sad]
6. You write about it constantly in random blogs on the internet. (+elebenty!++ Checks)
7. Your two cars’ license tags are JAVA-1 and JAVA-2 (Check)
8. Tron knows whether daddy likes one lump or two as he gets him a refill (Oh yes, he may not be potty trained, but he IS trained). (Checkmate)
What are papper towels? Do we want to know?
I caught “papper towels” and fixed it, hah.
6. Guilty as charged.
7. Nope, I HATE custom license plates with a passion. If I ever become king of the world/universe, those are one of the first things that get banned forever.
8. Not yet; but yes, eventually. He’s already fascinated by the espresso maker because of all the fun noises it makes.
Bet you got a bumper sticker that says, My other car is a Krups.
What you guys need is a liscense plate that says STRBUX.
Bleh.
How about SETLBST, DUCHBRO, or DUNNBRO?
Well, it doesn’t really matter to me, seeing as I don’t drink (or eat) coffee anyways.
Well good then!
*Uses infinite cosmic powers to abolish custom plates*
Yay!
While you are using your “infinite cosmic powers,” can you make Pokemon real? I mean come on, that’d be kinda cool…am I freaking anyone out by that request?
I think most people mainline it around here.
And when they’re out of coffee, apparently they can lick their computer screens because everyone’s constantly talking about how they need to wipe everything down while reading this blog.
NMN: I’ve wanted a pet Eevee ever since I was 15, so no, it doesn’t weird me out. Actually since the Umbreon was added, I’ve wanted one of those more.
This will be as close as I’ll ever get to having one though.
I would literally kill for a real live, breathing Mew. Kill, I say. KILL!
Kill?
Most vanity plates are pretty dumb… I have come across a few funny ones, and I’ve actually come up with the license plate that I want if/when I get a newish car. If I was Supreme Ruler of the Universe (and had the infinite brainpower to go along with it), then I would have to approve all license plates before they were made. If I didn’t approve, they would be stuck with some description of their request… e.g. DOUCHE, PERV, IDJIT 🙂
I spent the last half hour reading that word as “Manline” and wondering what the heck a “manline” was… Ok, well I do know what a manline is, but I’ve never seen it used as a verb.
…
The sentence: “I can use my manline as a verb!” is a different kind of dirty.
Now, see, I think vanity plates serve a distinct and useful service.
How better that the Sparkies not only self-identify, but pay for the privilege, too?
My liscense plate would be AWESME. If I had a car, which I do not…..
Manline=”I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours?”
Hammy – I’ll have to give that manline a try.
“Hey baby, wanna share a Happy Meal” doesn’t seem to do it for The Ladies anymore.
@ Taco and NMN – if you want a Real Live Pokemon, try these cute little critters. Wantwantwant…
Indeed. The fennec is one of nature’s most adorable creatures. Along with the arctic fox and the red panda.
All but #3, -I drink it black.
# elebenty. Of the four coffee makers you have, two are going at once*
*and you’re the only coffee drinker. -check.
Well, I live in
HellTexas so coffee is not something one can drink when the temps hit 90 in the summer…and that’s along about 05:00. So, I have gotten used to just a cup or two in the morning and that’s it for the day. After that I switch to ice cold Diet Coke.1 cup ice
Sugar to taste
2 shots espresso
1/2 cup milk
1-2 scoop(s) chocolate marshmallow ice cream
Blend.
Yay!
I drink it cold in the summer, mixed 1 part chocolate milk to 2 parts coffee.
Check, check, check, check and check. My mother always told me coffee would stunt my growth. Good thing I started on the stuff in 5th grade, otherwise I might be 10 feet tall.
Real life story time! Every day driving home from work, I pass a bus stop with an ad on it that has a picture of Mr. Roger, and says “Will you be my neighbor?” I dissolve into a fit of giggles every time, because now I always imagine it saying “Will you bee my neighbor?” and Taco with the bee bee gun. I’m having a hard time not giggling now, just typing up the tale. 🙂
***Please Help***
I am looking for a profit-minded individual to purchase my websites.
No knowledge of websites or coding is necessary, but you must be skilled in ect.
step 1. You purchase website, I run it.
step 2. ??ect??
step 3. PROFIT!!!
I’ll be an independent contractor and can quit as soon as you do something stupid like forget to monitor PayPal, forget to monitor ect for unusual activity, etc.
We each get a percentage of Da Minty Shells.
Check out my latest endeavor: ERROR:NOT FOUND
call[xxx-xxxx] if interested*
*but not too early ’cause mom sleeps in.
The virtual band roster so far…
~The Ish Not.A.Lion. Regiment~
Hailing from Ish, Guatsusnake County, Kclhm
~Drum Major~
TamaleIllusion*
~Hornline~
EclecticBlue – Trumpet 1
Camille – Trumpet 2
Grampdaddy – Mellophone 1
Dan – Mellophone 2
MandaB – Mellophone 3
Moira – Baritone 1
Drmk – Baritone 2
Astrognash – Baritone 3
SpaceBug – Contrabass 1
~Drumline~
SilvaNoir – First Bass
Sarajean80 – Second Bass
NotMyName – Third Bass
Christina – Quint Drum 1
Windrose – Quint Drum 2
Bridgete – Snare Drum 1
Lou Stool – Snare Drum 2
~Color Guard~
Lola – Flag 1
Kelli – Flag 2
ArchedEyebrows – Flag 3
HamCan – Flag 4
~Staff~
Director- Kitty Shark
Drill Instructor- Depressey
Brassline Instructor- Al Sharpton
Drumline/Pit Instructor- Bacontini
Color Guard Instructor- Mr. Winkey
*Unless someone else wants to be DM.
Registration for the Ish Not.A.Lion. Regiment closes after today, by the way.
I play electric bass. Kinda hard to pull that off in a marching band. I did play trumpet in marching band in junior high, but moved to bass on the advice of the band teacher.* Years later I thanked him for that advice. I would have given up music long ago if I had kept (trying to play) playing trumpet.
Put me where ever I can do the least damage. I’m here to serve.
*This is, in fact, true.
Hey, y’know
and since he sits on the porch with no shoes, you have an excuse to not take the field [G}
We had a bass player in our marching band in high school. There was someone whose job it was to push the battery-powered amp around behind him.
I never knew there were so many instruments I’d never heard of! Also, I am glad we don’t have marching bands in school in NZ, as I am free to make up my own definitions for these words.
I think mellophone sounds like a delicious treat and can’t see “brassline instructor” as anything other than “bras line instructor” and am now happily imagining someone crankily trying to make all their bras stay in line on the drying rack. 🙂
P.S shouldn’t the colourguard instructor be Al Sharpton?
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7381731095
That’s the most accurate Band Dictionary compared to what I know that I could find.
By the way, would you like to be Drum Major? About all it involves is flapping your arms about to the beat of a metronome known as “Dr. Beat” which sounds like Thor hitting Mjolnir against a 5′ thick slab of solid steel while inside your eardrum.
Oooh, as much fun as that sounds, I’m really _really_ gammy and would probably find a way to put someone’s eye out.
I’d be much safer and more effective in my usual role of Embarrassingly Excited Audience Member, yelling and shrieking and pointing and saying “I KNOW THEM” and spilling my drink and such. I have several pages of references for this position, should you require them.
Well, I just happen to know the complet Manual of Arms for DM Baton, among others*.
But, given that I’m unlikely to not 6-to-5, I’d likely be unsuitable for this ensemble.
_______________________
*DM Baton; swagger stick; pistol; rifle; carbine; guidon & colors. This would include Mounted and Dismounted. I also know drill for triangular and square formations. Been a contract instructor, consultant, and tutor for these.
Well, I’d offer, as I know the complete Manual of Arms for DM Baton*
But, since I know I cannot not 6-to-5, it would not help so very much.
____________________________
*By training, habit, research, I’ve learned a number of things, the the Manual of Arms for several objects, and in Mounted and Dismounted drill–like Baton, Swagger stick, Guidon, Colors, Sword & Saber, pistol, rifle, and carbine. Even earned some coin as a consultant and tutor at such. Even know drill for both Triangular and Square formations from Squad to Battalion.
Mellophone sounds too much like , which give candy a bad, bad name.
Sweet, I got (to) 3rd bass.
Is that even closs to smudging the line? Is anyone there? HELLLOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I’m here, on my way to bed. Didn’t have much snark to contribute today, but certainly enjoyed everyone else’s.
Meh. I could annihilate the line with one single, simple word….but I won’t. Mostly because I’m tired, but also partly because Astro is probably still here. So, to wrap up this rant, see you guys tomorrow.
*tacks up notice on YSaC wall*
ATTENTION, PLEASE.
Line annihilation postponed.
NotMyName has retired for the evening.
He will return at his regularly
scheduled time of 0600 hours Friday.
As you were.
But, but..I JUST GOT HERE! WAHHHHH!
Seriously, work has been too busy for me to join in, even on my breaks. I’m so glad the weekend is almost here and I can
annoyentertain everyone with myobnoxiouscharming wit. 😀christina, only NMN retired. My guess is that there are still a few of us around with some snarky bits to offer.
Edit: Looks like AR did too.
I’m about to punch and go. Sorry, work has been so unbearable lately, I seriously think I’ll retire and go work at McDonalds.
Mindfield! You must want your free internets really badly! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Multiverse!
I must be more tired than I thought. I tried putting some of the round-ups in the forums, but got them out of order. Dang it. Will try again over the wwwweeeeeekend.