YSaC, Vol. 757: Ain’t nothin’ but a g-thanq.

2010 August 13

im the one to call for !


i use to be a waitress & a dishwasher . qot a job for me ? but i moved from NC to NY . i know how to clean such as qeneral labor . just ask me . im lookinq for a new job asap . the min. waqe to pay me is $8/hr . i also can rap and write my own lyrics . i sell my lyrics to any interested and worth qivinq to or i can write you a sonq if you want . i do hip hop , rap & r N b . i also like to entertain as in dance (qive lapdances , make the crowd qo wild , strip down to my boxers & sports bra) i just need a location . im a stud lesbian . dont judqe me by the imaqe if you just need someone to work for you . but you can email me & il send you a few pics of me if you want me to perform at a party ! i basically do qrind dances 😉 so hit me up . im avaiable anytime & day .

*Looks at ‘g’ key*

*Looks at ‘q’ key*

*Looks at ‘g’ key*

*Looks at ‘q’ key*

*Looks at ‘g’ key*

*Looks at ‘q’ key*

*Looks at ‘g’ key*

*Looks at ‘q’ key*

*Goes back to bed*

Thanks, Christen!

249 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 August 13
    sarajean80 permalink

    or i can write you a sonq

    Please write me a sonq that will make the whole world sing.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 August 13
      LurkRealClose permalink

      I’m sorry, I only write songs that make the whole world cry.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 August 13
        sarajean80 permalink

        My singing sinqing is usually enough to do that.

        Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 13
      Lou Stool permalink

      Don’t you mean the whole world sinq?

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 August 13
        Meredith permalink

        Maybe that’s what happened to New Orleans….hmmmm…lots of sonqs down there…and then lots of sinqing.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 13
          CapnMac permalink

          [nola {not Lola} corey] in all fairness, the lowest parts of NOLA are the result of digging canals from the Lake to various natural high-spots where warehouses were placed. Those canals were dug through lake-edge swamp and marshlands.

          Enterprising (or broke, or needy, or something) people extended the height of the canal banks, and drained the bits in-between. You drain swamps and low places between banks, and they tend to have lower elevations than nearby places by definition.

          Now, some of the reclaimed areas had additional fill placed in them before buildings and infrastructure covered them up. Some did not. (Much as happened in Holland.)

          The only really tricky bits were when they did this up against the river levees rather than the lake shore. River levee generally built to last, some of the canal levees were made with nothing but the canal dredgings–and no real record of what is in any given embankment really exists.

          Just another sonq sunq bleu, rollez-vous le temps d’jour.
          [/corey]

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 13

      How about sonqs of love and special thinqs?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 13

        Or sonqs that make the younq qirls cry?

        I write the sonqs, oh I write the sonqs.

        :does happy dance as her age finally pays off:

        Adores: 18
        • 2010 August 13
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Yeah, I just did a search to see if there were any more fun lyrics we could use, and it didin’t come up on lyrics.com, it came up on oldielyrics.com.

          *feels old*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 13

          LRC…you think that’s bad? I knew the damned things off the top of my head

          :goes off in search of cane, support hose, and Geritol:

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13
          Moira permalink

          I’m in late enough that I don’t have to admit knowing those lyrics. The comment thread has moved on.

          Nothing to see here.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13
          EclecticBlue permalink

          CJ, I think that’s Grampdaddy’s line. Though, maybe not the support hose. I don’t think I’ll picture that…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 13
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I only knew the chorus without teh Google.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 13

      When I sinq, people occasionally head for the hills.

      Hello Goodbye, American Pie, American Woman, and Why Can’t We Be Friends? are fine.

      Strawberry Fields Forever, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, Across the Universe, and Baba O’Riley only make them cringe.

      The high notes on Don’t Stop Believin’, Revolution, and Eleanor Rigby are the ones that send them running.

      For whatever reason, I just can’t seem to sing Hey Jude and Octopus’s Garden well. I can’t get the right intervals between notes.

      Just about everything sung by Ringo Starr, except the one song mentioned above, I can get okay.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 13
        LimeLolly permalink

        You can Get By With A Little Help From My (your) Friends.

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 13
        CapnMac permalink

        Some advantages to only sinqing when folk have to stand at Attention

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 14
        Supreme Ruler permalink

        whispers: Astro, Ringo is the Beatle who can’t sing.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 13

      I’d like to teach the world to sinq.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 13
      EclecticBlue permalink

      I wonder if whats-er-bucket is a member of this group: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Writinq-Sonqs/377304081827

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 14

      Fun fact for the day: Barry Manilow did not, in fact, write the song “I Write the Songs.”

      Adores: 3
  2. 2010 August 13
    LurkRealClose permalink

    We’ve seen this kind of Sparky before. The kind who thinks that the best way to get a job is to post on CL that you are looking for one. Because any reputable employment opportunity is obviously scouring CL for the perfect employee. Rather than, you know, posting an ad on Monster.com or something. The GQ thing* just makes this one extra special.

    *Is now picturing Sparky in a fashionable suit with the tie loose and the shirt open, standing on a beach in a breeze.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 August 13
      Laurelhach permalink

      Careful, this is Sparkette we’re talking about. Not that she cares, mind you.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        LurkRealClose permalink

        That just makes my mental image all the better.

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 13
      sarajean80 permalink

      I think the use of “waitress” and “stud lesbian” means Sparky is a female-type person, unless Sparky is unfamiliar with grammatical gender or the entire concept of lesbianism.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 13
        Laurelhach permalink

        Which could be entirely possible, seeing as Sparky/ette is unfamiliar with the letters ‘Q’ and ‘G.’ Entire grammatical concepts would be a little difficult to comprehend if you’re still working out the alphabet.

        Adores: 9
      • 2010 August 13
        EclecticBlue permalink

        He could just be a lesbian stuck in a man’s body. I’ve heard of those before. (And I’m not talking about transgender… just skeezes :-p)

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          About a month ago I was coming out of a Kmart in the calassay part of town when two guys in the parking lot shouted out “Hey, baby! You gots a bo’fren’?” to which I replied, “No, but my girlfriend is.”

          You could almost hear the gears grinding as they tried to process that.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Wait, the part that makes that make sense is missing. I blame work distractions for that, I swear I thought I wrote the whole thing out. The conversation went as follows.

          Jerks – “Hey Baby! You gots a bo’fren’?”

          Me – “No.”

          Jerks – “You wants ta hit it?”

          Me – “No.”

          Jerks – “You sum kynna lezbeen or sumthin’?”

          Me – “No, but my girlfriend is.”

          Adores: 17
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          It was better when it was nonsense. It sounded like something I would do/say.

          “Hey, that hat makes you look stupid, why are you wearing it?”

          “Yeah, my car gets terrible gas mileage.”

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Great, I can cross that off my bucket list.

          :crosses through “Sound like a mystical Wisconsononian Mexican entree”:

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 August 13

          My favorite legume: The les-bean.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 13
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I was wondering about that, SJ… I just figured that the gears turning that you talked about were the ones that were trying to figure out the nonsensicle that you just said :-p

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13
          LurkRealClose permalink

          My favorite legume: The les-bean.

          If Les Paul becomes a has-been?

          Adores: 2
  3. 2010 August 13
    MandaB permalink

    I only want a lap dance if she’ll strip down to her Q-string. That will make the crowd qo wild.

    Adores: 31
    • 2010 August 13
      LurkRealClose permalink

      John de Lancie’s here?

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 August 13
        Windrose permalink

        LRC, Special Geek Points for that one! 8)

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          I agree.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          I aqree as well.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          I agree with them.

          What are we agreeing on again?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          EclecticBlue permalink

          We’re agreeing that TM follows the crowd :-p

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        CapnMac permalink

        What, did I miss the T-bird, or Jake?

        I’m guessing Sparqie does not have what it takes to star-hitch . . .

        Adores: 0
  4. 2010 August 13
    Mindfield permalink

    That’s qreat and all, but can she clean _and_ write rap and R&B lyrics _and_ qive qrind lapdances at the same time? Because otherwise I’m just not interested. I need someone who can multitask and is guick on her feet and such as.

    Adores: 15
    • 2010 August 13
      Lou Stool permalink

      Oh, you totally beat me to the “such as” comment. I wonder if NC means the same as the Iraq (Irag?) or South Africa.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 13
        Mindfield permalink

        I think the NC is north of the Detroit, right beside the France.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Right between Warsaw and Turkey.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Warsaw and Turkey are actual town names in NC. My Mom’s from Turkey and it lets me confuse people with almost no effort on my part.

          Stranger – “So, where are you from?”

          Me – “My family’s from Turkey.”

          Stranger – :looks at obviously not Turkish me: “Ummm…”

          Me – “Not far from Warsaw.”

          Stranger – :More puzzled looks: “Uhhh…”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13
          CapnMac permalink

          My mom’s family is from Miami Co, Indiana. GGM lived in Denver (IN), her daughters (mostly) moved to Peru (IN).

          I always got blank (blanq?) looks when I asked why so few folk wore bowler hats in Peru.

          [Peru, In trivia]Peru was the winter-over destination for the various circuses and traveling carneys that worked north of about 40ºN latitude. Had to have it explained to me, that 4-5″ of snow much more tolerable to african wild life than 4-5′ of frozen precipitation.
          Was cool though, rather than driving to some mall in Kokomo or Terra Haute for black friday, we’d get to see a circus.
          [/triva]

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 13

        Hey, Miss Teen SC came from South of the Border. She was all theirs.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 13
        EclecticBlue permalink

        iRag: Older people’s nickname for the iPad.

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 13
      sarajean80 permalink

      …but can she clean _and_ write rap and R&B lyrics _and_ qive qrind lapdances at the same time…

      I’d hate to see where she keeps the pen, or the Swiffer, during the qrind lapdances.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 13
        Lola permalink

        The pen she can tuck behind her ear, but the Swiffer …
        *brain bleach*

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        Kae permalink

        Well, if she’s wearing boxers and a sports bra, I’m imagining there are LOTS of places to keep a pen. And other things.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13
          kelli permalink

          I always wear boxers, my favorite pair is Sugar Ray Leonard and Leon Spinks. Oh she meant boxer short underwear? Nevermind.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 13
          Meredith permalink

          No I just know, sometime this week, I’m going to say, “He was all the way down to his Sugar Ray Leonards”. I know it. And everyone will look at me just like they always do….”She was homeschooled, right?”

          Adores: 13
    • 2010 August 13
      Whirlwitch permalink

      I got to “guick on her feet” and nearly spit lemonade. My fault, I should know better than to drink and YSAC.

      Adores: 0
  5. 2010 August 13
    TacoMagic permalink

    My name is sparkles and I’m hear to say
    I mispell words in really odd waiys
    I make my own rapes so pound and clap
    Then I’ll git nayked and grind on you’re lap.
    Wurd up you!

    *Convulses with CDJS and makes duck face*

    Adores: 28
    • 2010 August 13
      Mindfield permalink

      *kisses index and middle fingers twice and makes a V with them while a blow dryer tosses his hair back in a dynamic approximation of a blow-out do*

      PAYCE!

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 13
      Meredith permalink

      THAZ MY BOO!

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 13
      sarajean80 permalink

      WERD DAWG.

      (Now I feel dirty.)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        LimeLolly permalink

        *hands SJ an ‘I’*

        You dropped this.

        Remember: ‘I’ before ‘E’, except after ‘C’

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Ies that how that works?! No wondier Ie ceian nievier spiell thiengs ceiorrieceitly!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 13
          CapnMac permalink

          But, not necessarily in front of G, as you might flash being an eastie . . .

          Adores: 0
  6. 2010 August 13

    Are you sure she’s from NC? She knows how to clean such as qeneral labor. I thought that was a SC thinq.

    *It took me several attempts to type the q, my finqers went to the g automaticly.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 13
      Mindfield permalink

      @christina: “Are you sure she’s from NC? She knows how to clean such as qeneral labor. I thought that was a SC thinq.”

      Maybe she’s confused because she doesn’t have maps.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 13
        sarajean80 permalink

        Here’s a way to tell if you’re in NC.
        1 – Go to a small restaurant and order barbeque.
        2 – What color is it when it arrives?
        * It appears to be covered in catsup – You are in the western part of NC.
        * Grey and smelling strongly of vinegar – you are in the eastern (and best) part of NC!

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’ll be in the NC again at the end of September. I’ll have to do that test!

          What part am I in if it’s brown and appears to be actual barbecue sauce?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          The Research Triangle Park.

          By the way, if you’re near Cary, NC on September 17th, make sure to come and see “Drum Major [Name Withheld, as this is a public internet] and the Cary Senior High School Marching Band performing their 2010 show, That’s Where Eagles Fly. Selections include Call of the Mountain by Joseph Curiale, Yosemite Autumn by Mark Camphouse, and The Death Hunt by Bernard Herrmann.” at a football game versus Apex High.

          If you happen to be nearby on September 25th, you should find Panther Creek High School and watch their Marching Band Invitational, and, more importantly, us, because I expect us to sweep at every local competition just like last year.

          **Yay for shamelessly self-promoting my Marching Band!**

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’ll be in Cary from Sept 26 through Oct 8th, and I won’t have a rental car =/. So nada on both accounts.

          C’est la Vie.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          Well, October 1st is a home football game versus Green Hope, so if the rental car situation changes at any point…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          If it’s brown, you are in a Cracker Barrel or KFC, one of those chain places that uses bottled sauce and caters to Yankees.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Probably, the place has an Irish name.

          I’m surprised none of the resident Texans has weighed in on the barbecue scene. You’d figure they’d be slapping their brisket* in our face right about now.

          *To be fair, the brisket in Texas is really good. As of yet I’ve not found any other reason to visit Texas. Texas is one of the very few places that seem to understand that if you want to make serious barbecue, you use a dry rub and keep the liquids to yourself.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Must be out polishing their guns. Barbeque ranks right up there with religion and collegiate sport teams in some sections of the South.

          :googles “dry rub”:

          Ewww. That’s just wrong.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Yeah, when Southerners start getting all snobby about barbecue, I like comparing their dishes to Kraft sauces. Talk about instant rage.

          Friend from Georgia at a barbecue he threw, “You Yanks have never tasted anything like this. This here is REAL barbecue like you can only get in the REAL ‘merica!” (It was good, but not as good as I make)

          Me: “Hot damn this is good! Tastes a lot like that Hickory Smoke sauce that Kraft makes. You use a whole bottle in this?”

          Oh he was pissed.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Did he go after you with a broken beer bottle or a carving knife?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Carving fork and the poker he uses to stir the charcoal.

          I believe the words were, “I ain’t gonna kill ya, asshole, just skewer you a bit.”

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13

          “I’m surprised none of the resident Texans has weighed in on the barbecue scene. You’d figure they’d be slapping their brisket* in our face right about now.”

          It simply isn’t polite to point out one’s shortcomings, Taco….massive link aside…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13
          LimeLolly permalink

          Ohhh, you’re in BIG trouble, Mister. CapnMac is gonna be sooo mad at you.

          “You don’t have to ask anyone if they’re from Texas.
          If they haven’t already told you, you don’t want to embarrass them.”

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13

          Ahhh, Texas* where the men are men and so are the women.

          *My favorite idea for next seasons survivor is to get 12 people and have them drive across Texas in pink VW bugs that have bumper stickers that say “we are qay and here to take your guns”

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          They should also make sure that each car is interracial.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Interracial vegans.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13

          I have, for quite a while, wanted a non-tropical season of Survivor*. If we can stick them in the jungles of Nicaragua, then why the heck can’t we stick them in the forests of America’s Hat, or the Arabian desert?

          *China notwithstanding.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          Interracial vegans who support open border policy.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Astro — I’ll be at the Green Hope game. You’ll know me because I’ll be the only Falcon cheering for the Cary High Band. Of course you’ll see me at band day also — never miss it.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Foreign interracial bisexual vegan communists.

          On welfare.

          Who hate dogs.

          I haven’t watched Survivor since the first show of the first season (To quote myself – “This crap will never catch on.”)but I would watch if there was an Antarctica edition. Nothing says family entertainment like the possiblity of a vapid twenty-something losing a toe to frostbite.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13

          Cool. That’ll be a switch compared to what happened in the game vs. Fuquay last year. When we took the field, the Fuquay fans started booing, and later they cheered when one of the Cary players was injured!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          Moira permalink

          “I’m surprised none of the resident Texans has weighed in on the barbecue scene. You’d figure they’d be slapping their brisket* in our face right about now.”

          Now I’m hungry. Aside from the cleanup, I wouldn’t mind getting slapped with a good brisket right about now.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          I’m told that Capn has a massive brisket.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Does he prefer it sauced or does he favor a dry rub?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          **Gets Popcorn and prepares for Incoherent Storytime with Capn.**

          Adores: 14
        • 2010 August 13
          CapnMac permalink

          1. Was just on a local forum debating local BBQ joints (note, “local” in this case meaning no more than about an hour’s drive). Which means I said what I have to say on the topic, and just do not have more to say.

          2. East Coast Q is its own thing. and unique from Dover to Jax. Same goes for crab in that stretch, too.

          3. That’s all pork, too–hard to not get into apples and apricots arguments. Now, KC or StL style, where you are comparing beef Q to beef Q, that’s different.

          4. Been too broke to buy an entire brisket for most of two years, now. Even though I’ve had more than enough time to mind one slow cooking in smoke on any given day. Shoot, been three months since I had sliced brisket, and month since I had a chopped beef sammich.

          5. It’s very pointless to fuss over food. Especially among the natives. Does not get a person return invites, most times. If I’m in Ocracoke and they want to put cole slaw on my sliced pig, I’m ok with that. I don’t fuss over the way they serve soft-shell crab in Panama City, either.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13

          *Better late than never comment*

          Had plenty of NC bbq (the vinegar kind) whilst visiting there earlier this month. Never had vinegar based before, being from CA. Yum!

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 August 13

    Happy Friday the 13th!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 13
      LurkRealClose permalink

      I think you mean, happy last day of work for me before vacation!

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 13
      Laurelhach permalink

      Happy ‘Ohmygodthere’sonly6daysbeforeschoolstartsagain’ for me. Uncool.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 13

      Or, if you’re drmk and Dan, happy anniversary!

      Adores: 38
      • 2010 August 13

        Awww….Happy Anniversary you two!

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        Lola permalink

        Congratulations at making it work, you crazy kids! Giving hope to llama-nun/ostrimu couples everywhere.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Gotta love those mixed marriages, eh?

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 13

        Happy Anniversary! Please tell me that you actually married on a Friday.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          That would be awesome.

          Happy anniversary to the best web bosses ever!

          Bees be upon you both.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          I was married on April 1st.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13

          Sadly, no … it was a Saturday the 13th. I can’t remember if we had thought through the implications of the date or not.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 13
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Awwwww, Happy Anniversary, youse guys! Many, many bees be upon you, too many to count.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          CapnMac permalink

          Good fortunes and best wishes, may the bees give your hexagons eight sides. And many draws, too many to list.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 13
        TacoMagic permalink

        Get a room you two!

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 13
        MandaB permalink

        Happy Anniversary! May bees be upon you and may your octagons always have 6 sides!

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 13

        My aunt and uncle were married on a Friday the 13th.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          Meredith permalink

          My momma was born on a Friday the 13th.

          And to top that…she’s the 13th (and last) child of her mother.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 13

        Happy Anniversary!!!

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Happy lla-mu* day! This should be an official religious holiday, I’m thinking…

        *May bees be upon you both

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 13
        kelli permalink

        Happy Anniversary to my favorite interspecies couple.

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 13
        Meredith permalink

        Bees be upon you in abundance, and may the sonqs of angles serenade you!

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 13
        LimeLolly permalink

        Congratulations on your anniversary. May the pots and pans stay undented and the fine china never be chipped or cracked.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 13

        Happy Anniversary, Dan and drmk!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 13
          LurkRealClose permalink

          That’s AWESOME!!!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Dan looks so happy in that pic. 🙂

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          He looks a little like my Mom in just about every picture I have of her, except she’s not an avian-type bird. I call it Mom’s “I will smother you in your sleep for this.” look.

          Mom has a strong dislike of having her picture taken.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13

          My mom’s the same way about pictures.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I have inherited from my father the Ok-I’m-smiling-now-take-the-damn-picture face. My brother has it, also. Family photos are always calassay at our house.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think Dad does that too, he has a pretty full beard so it’s hard to tell. The only ones in my family who actually have genuine smiles are my little nieces, who always look positively ecstatic at the mere thought of having their pictures taken.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 14

          Thanks, Astrognash! I would frame that and put it on the wall, but it would be really hard to explain to other people.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 13

        Congratulations!

        Are you planning to have little ostrimupithycusses LlamaSapipuns any time soon?

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 13

        Happy Anniversary! And many more!

        Adores: 0
  8. 2010 August 13
    Lou Stool permalink

    Here I am, washinq dishes
    Scrapinq off letover birds and fishes
    Entertaininq in various sorts
    Like dancinq in my boxer shorts
    I’ll do it for 8 bucks an hour
    Pay me less, I might get sour
    I call myself a stud lesbian
    Just wish I was a better thespian
    Word

    Adores: 15
  9. 2010 August 13
    Windrose permalink

    I wonder if some horrible person played a practical joke on Sparkette, and switched the G and Q caps on the key board? Or is that giving her too much credit?

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 13
      mudslicker permalink

      Windy, quess what I’m qoinq to say….

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 13
      Whirlwitch permalink

      Given that there isn’t an actual g anywhere in the ad, I’d say the most charitable interpretation is that her g key doesn’t work/is missing. Using a q instead would then have simply been easier than cut-and-pasting, or using that ridiculous character-table thingy that takes five minutes and a lot of swearing to produce one accented e.

      Of course, she might have mentioned it in the ad. But how do you type “my g key doesn’t work” if your g key doesn’t work?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 13
        sarajean80 permalink

        “I am sorry for all the qs but the key for the letter after f but before h on my keyboard doesn’t work.”

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          My jéé kéy doésn’t work homiés.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          You’re giving Sparkles too much credit if you think she could use an é properly when she can’t even manage q and g.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13

        [corey] I use an international keyboard to type accents. You can set it up with any language. In Vista, open the control panel. Under Clock, Language, and Region, click change keyboards or other input methods. Click change keyboards. Click add. Scroll down to the language you want, and select the keyboard under that language that says “United States – International.” If you don’t see that keyboard, select the “show more” option and it should show up. Check it off, and you’re all set. If you hit “alt+shift”, you can swap between the keyboards…I would recommend only typing in the international keyboard if you are actually trying to type the accents, because the shortcuts make your typing rhythm a little awkward. They’re not ctrl+key options, so it’s a little odd. For example, here’s how it works on the French keyboard.

        Accent aigu: apostrophe followed by e = é
        Accent grave: ` (key to the left of the 1) followed by e = è
        Circonflexe: ^ followed by e = ê
        Tréma: quotation mark followed by e = ë
        Cedille: apostrophe followed by c = ç

        You don’t have to hold down the first key, you just type it and then type the letter. So, obviously, if you’re actually trying to type apostrophes or quotation marks, you’re going to get weird problems. If you type the apostrophe or the quotation mark and then hit the space bar it will enter the proper symbol instead of throwing an accent on the letter, but it still messes with your typing rhythm. However, it’s a pretty minor annoyance and there’s a thing in the taskbar that shows you what keyboard you’re in so you’ll always know whether you’re going to get accents all over your letters or not. Oh, and it doesn’t put accents on letters that wouldn’t have an accent, so something like aujourd’hui will show up properly whether you remember the space bar trick or not, but c’est won’t.

        Et voilà! Vous pouvez écrire avec les accents! 😉

        If you don’t have stupid Vista like I do, there should be guides to do this on other Windows formats somewhere online. [/corey]

        Adores: 1
  10. 2010 August 13
    mudslicker permalink

    This ad started out all la-la-la-I-need-a-waitress-or-dishwasher-job and then got more like dum-de-dum-dum-I-really-want-a-rap-stripper-grinder-job. The floor definitely got stickier the more I read.

    And here I thought the one to call for ! was Ghostbusters. Anytime & day. 😉

    Adores: 5
  11. 2010 August 13

    I think that whole ad is just queer.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 August 13
      mudslicker permalink

      …you mean gueer.

      Adores: 2
  12. 2010 August 13

    [Matt] So this chick expects me to find the Q-spot? WTF, I just figured out where the G-spot was and now this?? What I want to know is what happened to spots H-P?[/Matt]

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 August 13
      Lola permalink

      Don’t know, but if you want to get there, “Take the ‘A’ Train.”

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 13
        mudslicker permalink

        I’d rather take the “O” Train!

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13
          Lola permalink

          Bet if you asked this calassay chick if she knew who Duke Ellington was, she’d think he was an MC or DJ …

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          :trips over line upon entering:

          [age-related corey n stuff]My two best friends are 20 yrs. older than me and 20 yrs younger…we’re like a most-excellent sammich…anyhoo..the older one and I were discussing the Big Bopper whilst awaiting the younger one to join us for lunch one day. She walked up just as I said something to the effect of how awesome I thought BB was, and without missing a beat, she replied…”Oooh…is that the new burger they added to the menu? I’ve heard it’s really good.”

          Sigh……..

          [/end age-related corey n stuff]

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13
          Whirlwitch permalink

          I’ve taken it. It’s kinda slow and bumpy, and there’s all those stairs to deal with.

          (I lived in Ottawa for 8 years. The transit train is called the O-Train.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Well, to clear up any confusion, I wasn’t referring the Ottawa train.

          But perhaps there’s something about the Ottawa train that I don’t know about.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I will be in Ottawa next week and will be sure to check it out.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Thanks LRC. Taking the poncho out for a little trip are we?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          But perhaps there’s something about the Ottawa train that I don’t know about.

          Yeah, the wheels are waaaaaaaaaay out of balance.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Don’t be a Canada hater Hammy.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          But they’re so fun to make fun of, they don’t even fight back!

          And Al Sharpton doesn’t act in the name of nationalities as far as I know.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          Unless that nationality happens to be African.

          Hold on a sec guys my phone just started ringing.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Also, I hear Canadians are filled with maple sugar candy, but I’ve never been able to get one to hold still long enough to find out.

          Maybe I’m not hitting them hard enough.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 13
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Sadly, no. Canada called and requested that the poncho stay home. Something about the CDC and International Travel? I’m not sure, I wasn’t really listening.

          Also I was kind of afraid it would scare away any moose we might see.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          CapnMac permalink

          I’ve ridden the train in Ottumwa, an E-series EMD lash-up, Brakeman’s seat was a bit lumpy and the a/c was out.

          Adores: 0
  13. 2010 August 13
    Lola permalink

    Is anyone else thinking that Amber Rose is looking for a job now that Kanye broke up with her?

    *crawls embarrassedly back to secret* guilty pleasure gossip website*

    *well, not any more

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 13
      TacoMagic permalink

      Hey Lola, I’m really happy for you! Ima let you finish, but Amber Rose was the best stripper of all time. Of all time!

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 August 13
        mudslicker permalink

        Even better than Miley Cyrus?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          Better than Hannah Montana even!

          Adores: 3
  14. 2010 August 13
    sarajean80 permalink

    Sparkles McSparkcase is the Swiss Army knife of menial jobs.

    Waitress?

    Yep.

    Dishwasher?

    Yep.

    Aspiring rapper and/or rNb/hip-hop singer?

    Yep.

    Stripper?

    Yep.

    I’ve actually personally held two of those jobs, but I’m not saying which.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 August 13
      LurkRealClose permalink

      You were also an aspiring rNb stripper? Cool. I thought I was the only one.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 13
        LurkRealClose permalink

        It really, really hurt me to type rNb, by the way.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Good, because it hurt to read it as well.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          It made me want to do damage to myself, and I wrote it.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 13

      Dishwasher sounds like an extremely difficult job. Wouldn’t it hurt to be installed under someone’s counter and then be opened up every so often, only to have dirty dishes and cutlery loaded into you and then be made clean inside your body?

      I think that last clause is tryinq to cross the line, but I don’t think it’s guite makinq it.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 13
        Lola permalink

        To make it even more difficult, if you’re at HamCan’s house, puppies crawl onto your front panel and sit there when you’re open.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13

          The puppies are job benefit like medical coverage. (We call that the puppy pre-wash cycle BTW)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 13
          EclecticBlue permalink

          My family had a doqqie pre-wash cycle when I was qrowinq up. I was really considerinq qettinq a doq instead of another cat, because then the area under the hiqh chair would stay clean, and we could have a doqqie prewash cycle for both the dishes and the baby :-p

          (So many GQs!)

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13
          Meredith permalink

          If you’re at my sisters house, the kids do that, too.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Dear Qods! I didn’t realize how many Q’s show up in daily lanquaqe! It hurts the brain havinq to read all these!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          At lzast Sparklzs didn’t switch z with something like e. Just thz thought of that makzs my brain twitch.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Arqh! My zyzs!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 13

          . I was really considerinq qettinq a doq instead of another cat

          If you got a doq you would not only have a companion, but a place to park your boat.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          qot a doq.

          A place to sleep and a place to park your boat.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Ooo, beaten by the canned “meat” to that one! :-p

          Also: *hums* Sittin’ by the doq of the bay…

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        CapnMac permalink

        [restaurant corey] Commercial dishwasher is very much different from the handy residential unit under the counter next to to the sink (or sinq).

        This is often to the great dismay of over-exuberant, under-experienced, foodies with excess cash to fling (flinq?) about.

        Commercial dishwasher has a rack over a shallow sink, with a sprayer hose connected to 160-180º water. Dishes are scrubbed, then racked over the sink. Dishes are rinsed into the sink, then trundled into the adjacent box where they are sealed in and water is flashed into steam, to sterilize the plates.

        So, the “wash” cycle is manual. The “rinse” cycle is manual. The “steri-clean” cycle is mostly manual (and releases steam into the house when finished). The “drying’ cycle is also completely manual, too.

        About this time in the demo at the kitchen-supply place, that $1200 or $1500 F&P or Bosch or Miele unit looks much nicer suddenly . . .

        It is work that might encourage a person to wear boxers and an apron and sinq a lot; especially since the esquilerier often has the privilege of pulling the grates out of the floor drains and cleaning them, as well.
        [/corey]

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          Lola permalink

          I worked over one of those at a camp for a summer, and then a couple of semesters after that. Well do I remember it.

          Eighth circle of hell.

          *goes and gets more vodka, is grateful to have a job not involving dishes*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 14

          [Menial labor corey] Worked one of those at the country club
          in my hometown for a couple of years. I’m with Miss Lola, Eighth ring.
          The bright spot was prime rib Saturdays. The staff got to take
          leftovers home. [/BELCH… mmm.. au jus-ariffic corey]

          Adores: 0
  15. 2010 August 13

    Don’t you mean “*Qoes back to bed*”?

    Adores: 4
  16. 2010 August 13

    [Corey]Sparkette is obviously a member of the Alqonguin Indian tribe of Northern Michiqan, located near the Qreat Lakes out of which flows the Niaqara river.[/Corey]

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 13
      mudslicker permalink

      I bet that was hard to type. Hehe…

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13

        As a matter of fact, it would have been much easier if I was off my dyslexia meds for a few days. 🙂

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          The word dyslexia must be hard to type for people with dyslexia.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Yse it’s.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Arrapently so’s it is TocaGamic.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13

          I used to be a cop* and I spent an entire might giving out IUD’s

          *This is not true

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 13

          Dyslexics of the world….UNTIE!!!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13
          EclecticBlue permalink

          But what if you’re not slysdexic? Can I sllit untie?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 13

          Mudsy:

          Be thankful you are not me. I read “TocaGamic” as “TacoGasmic”.

          **shudders.**

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          Well, I suppose I can be here for the ladies ;).

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 13

          I thought that that was Bacontini who was here for “de Ladies 😉 “?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Astro: that’s because that’s where your mind goes when you think of Taco.

          😉

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          Bad touch! I need an adult!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          T. J. McButterbottom, Esq permalink

          Show the court on this Cabbage Patch doll where he thought about you, Mr.Gasmic.

          Adores: 6
  17. 2010 August 13
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    FAQs webpages may not be what I always thought they were…

    Adores: 15
    • 2010 August 13

      ‘splains a lot, don’t it?

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 13
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Aqh! Emerqency hand-over-mouth to prevent juice spraying and spontaneous lauqhter in my cube-farm!

      Adores: 4
  18. 2010 August 13
    EclecticBlue permalink

    *crickets*

    How am I the only one in the “Talk amonqst yourselves” area?

    What are you talkinq about?

    I mean, I’m the only one that’s posted in the last 15 minutes or so.

    Well, now you truly are talkinq amonqst yourself, aren’t you…

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 13
      kelli permalink

      I’d talk to you but I don’t want to interrupt the conversation you’re having with yourself.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 13
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’m not speaking to myself right now, because of the incident with the last chocolate chip muffin this morning.

      There was a lot of biting and hair-pulling, and many unkind things were said. It was not pretty.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 August 13
        TacoMagic permalink

        I only hurt me because I love myself so much and the things I do drive me crazy sometimes.

        I can change me, I just have to love me enough to make it happen.

        The black eye? *looks frightfully in the mirror* Uh… doorknob.

        Adores: 9
  19. 2010 August 13
    kelli permalink

    im the one to call for !

    My exclamation mark has been missing for 3 months, now I know where it went. Sparkles must have stolen it / (the / is as close as I can get to an exclamation mark since Sparkles stole mine)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 13
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Sparkles

      I love it!

      Adores: 0
  20. 2010 August 13
    Innana permalink

    Who serves a dish and cleans it, too,
    Baby it’s the lesbian.
    Who shuns the G and flaunts a Q,
    Baby it’s the lesbian,

    She can sing and dance, even in your lap.
    If you ask her to, she can write a rap.
    Somethin’ kept her goin’, to NY from NC,
    While grinding out that rNb.

    Adores: 13
  21. 2010 August 13
    TacoMagic permalink

    Hey! I found the poster!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 13
      Innana permalink

      How’d you do that?
      And yes, that photo looks about right.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        TacoMagic permalink

        I went here.

        I picked the stupidest looking one in recent history and went with it.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          Innana permalink

          Oh, dear gods. I’ve never had such waves of loathing stirred up as when I looked at that website. I had never even heard of duckface before….wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          A friend of mine fosters teenagers. I am all too familiar with duck face and the necessity of mocking the perpetrators to make the stupidity stop.

          And when that doesn’t work, shovel to the face.*

          *This may not actually be used in practice as much as we wish it could be.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I dunno, as much as the duck-face-qanq-sign looks right (hehe, “qanq” sounds like a sound a duck would make…) she doesn’t look like the kind of lesbian that would wear a sports bra and boxer shorts. But maybe that’s just me.

          Adores: 1
  22. 2010 August 13
    Selkie permalink

    She’s killinq me softly with her sonq…

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 13
      TacoMagic permalink

      *rereads ad*

      No, I don’t think that’s one of the services she offers.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 13
        sarajean80 permalink

        After a long enough time spent in her presence, like ten minutes, you might wish she did.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 13

          5 minutes, SJ, I give her 5 minutes….

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          That’s awful qznzrous of you. I would imaqinz I’d bz at “Stab mz in thz zyzs riqht now!” aftzr 23 szconds.

          (Damn all these qs and zs! Urge to kill rising!)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13

          And here we see the wild Wisconsin TacoMagic (Texmexentree wisconsonia) preparing to going a Serial Killing spree, a behavior unique to the Winsconsonian variety of the TacoMagic.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          Winsconsonian?

          Forgiving the fact that the term “Wisconsonian” makes me nauseous (especially when used by those from this state who proudly pronounce themselves so); generally it’s not spelled with the extra ‘n’.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          Whoops.

          There were just, you know, so many n’s…

          **Looks about nervously. Attempts to make distraction.**

          Hey, didn’t Isaac say he’d be back by now?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          Yes, he said he was only going to be gone for a week…or maybe it was two. Either way, it’s been a while.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          Maybe he kicked the addiction and has his life back.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 13

          “Forgiving the fact that the term “Wisconsonian” makes me nauseous (especially when used by those from this state who proudly pronounce themselves so); generally it’s not spelled with the extra ‘n’.”

          Srsly…the funniest sh*t I’ve read all day…all.damn.day..

          Taco is giving spellinglessons…

          :wipes tears of laughter from eyes

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 August 13
          TacoGasmic permalink

          Yes, Taco loves irony.

          That’s why I did it :).

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 13

          But if you got irony’d wouldn’t you be a guesadilla?

          Adores: 11
  23. 2010 August 13


    When I was just a little qirl
    I asked my mother, what will I be
    Will I be a waitress, will I wash a dish
    Here’s what she said to me.

    Gue Sera, Sera,
    Whatever will be, will be
    Your future’s not bright, you see
    Gue Sera, Sera
    Now just leave me be

    When I was younq, I misspelled sonq
    I asked Craiglist for a job
    Will I give lap dances, day after day
    Here’s what the internets said.

    Gue Sera, Sera,
    Whatever will be, will be
    Your future’s not bright, you see
    Gue Sera, Sera
    Now just leave me be

    Now I sold children not my own
    They ask their captor, what will I be
    Will I be a rapper, will I be a lesbian stud
    I tell them qently.

    Gue Sera, Sera,
    Whatever will be, will be
    Your future’s not bright, you see
    Gue Sera, Sera
    Now just leave me be

    Adores: 16
    • 2010 August 13
      mudslicker permalink

      A regular Doris Daisy you are Hammy….

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 13
        LurkRealClose permalink

        More of an Oopsy Daisy, I think.

        Adores: 0
  24. 2010 August 13
    Innana permalink

    Oh, Hammy—I’m in crush!

    Adores: 0
  25. 2010 August 13

    Teenaqe qirls & homosexual males dot their I’s with hearts…

    Is it so unfathomable that bull dikes chanqe their G’s to Q’s?

    Why, you might be askinq yourself, as you sit there so guaintly behind your vibrant monitor.

    Simple…how qay does this shit look?

    By the way, haters: “bull dike” is the preferred nomenclature, for female members of the qenus homo sapien, whom apparently ONLY prefer other females to males – yet contradict their lust by modelinq their behavior after males of the qenus (i.e. short hair, manly clothinq…etc)

    I’ve heard on the DL that they also munch on floor mats…humans are weird.

    Adores: 1
  26. 2010 August 13
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    I’m all full up on !, so I won’t need to call her for that.

    However, I do need to know who I should call for ?, and may soon be selling some $#*! and WTF?, as this post has left me with a surplus of both.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 13
      kelli permalink

      I have plenty of ?

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 13

      I noticed I had a surplus of WTF today too, however I found some qood places to stash it in amonqst the forum posts today. *Shhh, don’t tell the Llamanun

      *May gueen bees qather in her honor

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 13

      I had a surplus of laziness today, because Band Camp is finally over.

      **yawns**

      Adores: 0
  27. 2010 August 13
    CapnMac permalink

    Wow, 1630 CDT, the earliest I’ve been here in three days (by close to six hours for one of those). 208 responses suggests that it will be hard to inter-leave the snark where it deserves. Oh, well, onward.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 13
      CapnMac permalink

      Wow, only took until 1814 to get to the bottom of the stack (did stop and feed the cat at 1700, though).

      Now, to see how well I do at my CME.

      Adores: 0
  28. 2010 August 13
    KittyShark permalink

    KittyShark has been sitting down here all day eatinq* up all the loose “G’s” nom nom nom.

    KittyShark thinks you all need the fidder warch so you can tighten your letters before KittyShark’s tail fin gets fat!

    *KittyShark sounds like Natasha
    (‘Phooey! Foiled again!’ ‘Don’t you mean, “Curses! Foiled again, dahling!”?’ ‘Please, Natasha. This is kiddie show.’)

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 13
      MandaB permalink

      Tell me about moose and sguirrel aqain, KittyShark.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 13

        To me, the name Bullwinkle (that is what we’re referencing, right? I’m not sure, as it’s before my time) always meant Pizza and Games. As a child, I didn’t go to Chuck E. Cheese’s. I went to Bullwinkle’s, which was similar, but the games were more fun, they had a McDonald’s-esque play place sort of playground area, a great water show featuring animatronics, and, most importantly, much better food than Chuck E. Cheese’s. And less rats.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 14
          Moira permalink

          *mourns that Astro has not sampled the glory of moose and squirrel as well as their numerous shorts*

          If I were to ever have children, I would NEED to get the DVDs. Also, Gilligan’s Island, Schoolhouse Rock, Get Smart, and the Monkees.

          Adores: 0
  29. 2010 August 13

    Lady Qaqa

    This made me laugh 😀

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWxTGJ3TK1U&playnext=1&videos=3bdr8t2iksA&feature=rec-LGOUT-farside_rn-3r-3-HM

    Adores: 1
  30. 2010 August 13
    Lou Stool permalink

    After a lonq and distinquished career as a “race lesbian” in North Carolina, where she was the 4-time winner of the illustrious lesbian triple crown, Sparky appears to be retirinq to New York, where she hopes to spend the rest of her life makinq $8/hour as a “stud lesbian”.

    Adores: 6
  31. 2010 August 13
    Windrose permalink

    So here it is, ##:## on a Friday eveninq, and somewhere in the neiqhborhood of 231 post. Awesome. Wish I could have been here. 8)

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 13

      You are always here in the pattern of our punchity marks!
      *rubs arm*

      *wraps up all the extra G’s from today and gives them to Windy*
      These may come in handy some day!

      Adores: 2
  32. 2010 August 13
    Windrose permalink

    Recap of the Day
    Sarajean was sinqing sonqs or somesinq. LRC and Lou Stool assisted, but Meredith was off to N’Orleans, prompting Cap’n to corey all over her.

    CJ led the old peoples down Memory Lane but LRC and EB wouldn’t qo guietly. LimeLolly reminded Astro about Friends. Cap’n Mac, Bridgete, and EB chimed in.

    LRC and Laurelhach brought some sparkle to the table, Sarajean led the discussion on Les beans, but then SJ forgot her lines. Taco did something I won’t repeat.

    MandaB took dancing lessons while LRC found her cue—er, Q. Windrose, Mudsy, Sj and EB handed out geek points, and Taco agreed but didn’t know with what.

    Mindfield wanted job descriptions, and got into a geography lesson with Lou Stool and many others, mostly listed above. SJ and Lola speculated on placement of equipment. Kae, kelli, and Meredith were ring-side for the event.

    Whirlwitch nearly showered in lemonade. Taco rapped to an appreciative duck-faced audience. Christina brought up regional delicacies while Astro plugged his instrument.

    CJ missed the Texans, while HamCan wrote a season for Survivors. Artsy Computer Geek and Astro bonded over music.

    Moira was hungry, and Taco was worried that Cap’n had a more massive, er, brisket then he did. Dry rubs were preferred to the wet sauces. Astro produced popcorn in expectation of story time. Cap’n waxed unexpectedly mellow. Archie arrived late with the vinegar.

    Christina mentioned that it was, indeed, Friday the 13th. That reminded drmk that it was her and Dan’s anniversary. Of what, they didn’t say. But well wishes were brought in from all over the country. Er, countries. Astro commemorated the day in his own style. Family Photos were discussed.

    Lou Stool and Mudsy shared an awesome moment. Windrose gave Sparkle too much credit. A heated debate followed, and Bridgete got corey all over her keyboard. Mudsy and HamCan bantered, then HC went on a matt. There was training all around. Taco heard from his old pal, Al.

    Lola revealed a guilty secret, and Taco didn’t even bother to change into Kanye to reply. Sarajean detailed Sparkle’s abilities. Puppies and dishwashers and kids and doqs and boats floated by. Cap’n had a restaurant corey that was pretty tasty. BG commented but did not change handle to BQ. HamCan mentioned Indians, and aroused the dyslexia in everyone. T. J. McButterbottom, Esq. Came by to play with dolls. Bianchi nearly had EB in the shower, with CJ in the middle.

    After that, EB felt lonely until kelli showed up. But no one was speaking to themselves anymore. Kelli and EB exclaimed over Sparkles. Innana blessed the crowd with a poem or sonq or something. Taco ran out and found an exact likeness of Sparkle. Selkie was dying. Death and Wisconsin were debated. Isaac was placed on the MIA list. Taco gave speeling lessons. HamCan made guesadillas with an irony. Doris HamCan Day stopped in to serenade Sera. Candorman made it clear what we were talking about. IF had no use for exclamations, and Cap’n did a time check. Kitty Shark wanted less filling alphabets, and mentioned moose. MandaB wanted to know about moose AND squirrel. Astro wanted better fast food. HamCan kicked out Lady Qa Qa, and Lou Stool explained that stud lesbians are retired race lesbians. Amazing.

    Windrose lamented missing the day’s comments, HamCan was sweet, and Astro was lazy. WTF did I miss? 8)

    I don’t expect this to be a regular feature, but it was fun! Back later to punch KatyCat.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 August 14
      Lou Stool permalink

      Please please PLEASE do this every day!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 14
        Lou Stool permalink

        EDIT : this was supposed to nest under Windrose’s daily commentary ^^^

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 14
        Windrose permalink

        No promises, Lou. 8) But I will do it as often as humanely possible.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 14
          nnBlue permalink

          First I read that as “as often as humanly possible.” Then I realized there was an extra, “e,” pondered a typo, and decided that “humanely possible” is also appropriate 🙂

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 14
      CapnMac permalink

      Ok, fess up, you used some fancy vertical-split screen x-men tech to do that, didn’t you? Some super-secret bit of extra magicks granted by our anniversary-celebrating hosts (bees be upon them).

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 14
        Windrose permalink

        Nope. Just clicked back and forth repeatedly. 8)

        Adores: 0
  33. 2010 August 14
    Windrose permalink

    KatyCat, for your avian comments of a humorous feather, here’s your first Punchity Punch Punch! Wear it with pride. Or with flock.

    G’Night, NOLA!

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 14
      KatyCat permalink

      Ow! But thanks. I’ll treasure this bruise until it fades. Or until I wake up tomorrow morning and forget why I suddenly have a digital black-and-blue spot. 🙂

      Adores: 1

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