YSaC, Vol. 668: It’s sheeptastic!
AMAZING!!! sheep throne!!
While it says this is free, this is a one-of-a-kind item. I’m sure from the picture you’re already asking yourself, “How could one piece of furniture be so [insert adjective] and free!?” Well, there is one thing I’m asking – reply to my email with at least one paragraph describing how the sheep throne would improve your life as a piece of furniture. Whoever’s moves me the most can have this awesome thing, because my new girlfriend is vegetarian and it’s down to the sheep throne or her.
Salutations!
Rather disappointingly, a TinEye image search reveals that this sheep throne is a one-of-a-kind item … that has apparently been photographed around the world in a setting exactly like the one pictured here. It’s astonishing how many people have placed this one-of-a-kind item in front of a window overlooking a parking lot with the same layout and configuration of cars. I guess it’s a principle of feng sheep.
But I’m curious, dear readers: how would the sheep throne improve your life as a piece of furniture?
Thanks for sending this in, Ellen! I hope you’ll let us know how the sheep throne has helped you.
I hope you will pick me, kind seller, because my birds need the wool for nesting materials. A few weeks at my house, and the sheep throne will have a whole new look. Its own mothers won’t recognize it. Lanolin is so good for baby birds.
And lanolin is excellent for dry skin. If one owned this wonder, you could take off your clothes and roll around on ….
*Brain-bleach, stat! Gallons and gallons of brain-bleach*
[insert adjective] = ghastly.
Possibly a little bedazzling would help.
But just think how easily you could fall asleep in this chair…one…two…three…ZzzzZZzzZZZzz
Think of how BEAUTIFUL this would look in an all black room, with the bedazzled deer hooves above it.
Actually, I can see that showing up in a “Modern Decorating” magazine. They’d probably think it was “quirky” and “irreverent”. Damn pretentious bastards.
I’m going to start my own blog: Decorating With Dead Things!
Meredith, you should submit this idea to the DIY network! You could become a rich television producer.
*Bet you never thought of that. Don’t you feel sheepish now?*
I can picture the first image so clearly. Imagine if you will, this setting: a large room with plenty of unnatural light, provided by a deer antler “chandelier”, Not.a.Lion rug on the floor, bedazzled zebra/deer hoof hooks on the wall, a red table for sale free with a chicken stachue on display. To the left, a couch with old timey decorations and an ottom. To the right, the Sheep throne. In the background, a lovely display of hard to see Art.
This, my friends, defines French prevential decor in a way nothing else ever could.
Ugh, finals have fried my brain. I initially thought that “stachue” was your mistake, not a reference to a YSAC mistake. Carry on…
Like 99 dead baboons?
“I desperately and urgently need this sheep throne. I have this haunted sadistic porcelain doll and she has demanded a sheep throne…and whatever dolly wants, dolly gets.”
…or else.
After all, what could be more sadistic than making you display this [insert adjective] chair in your home? She’s ruthless.
Next she’ll have you putting little lace doilies over all the chair arms, and hanging cross stitched pictures of vaginas or something.
She just wants a nice home. Is that too much to ask? Well…IS IT?!?
You would not believe how pissed she was when I didn’t get the collection of framed not band posters. If I don’t get the sheep throne…
*shudders*
Whoops! That should be framed boy band posters. I hate auto correct on my phone. (yes, my fault for not proof-reading). Although not band may be accurate in some cases.
2NiTe OnlY
New Boys Not Men
opening 4
Ovine Horror
Please tell me it is the PICTURES that are cross-stitched, and not ….
On a side note: The other day it started pouring here, and as my man and I were headed out I turned to him and asked sweetly, without even thinking, “Babe, can you grab my unblubler from the closet?”. It has further reinforced his belief that I am an idiot.
**Hefts a door at Meredith**
And here I thought I was the only one…..
Obviously, dear Meredith, he is an infidel and needs to be reported to the Mother Llama-nun for re-education.
He is a rebel, refusing to even glance at the Not-A-Lionel, or bask in the aura of the Red Table.
I’m not sure we have a future. Perhaps if I put our comments on a cd, and played it while he sleeps….I only want what’s best for him.
Maybe the HYPNO DOGS could help?
It’s OK. My hubby doesn’t read YSAC, but I’ve educated him on a few of the posts. We just got the roof over the garage redone, and he said that he would take care of meeting with the ROOFER ROOFER ROOFERs. 🙂
Same here, EB. Mr. Eyebrows isn’t a YSaC reader either. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, I think he just likes to hear me relate the day’s post to him with my unique dramatic flair (snorting, waving of hands, incredulous expressions, pathetic attempts at foreign accents, etc.) during our evening cocktail. Ain’t love grand?
What? Thank God it’s not llama!
Although if I had run across a three-headed sheep, and wanted to preserve that memory for eternity, taxidermy AND utility would be the best bet.
Good
GodLlama-Nun, why is it that all I can think about is how freaked out I would get were I to lean back… and realize I’m leaning against a sheep’s head?But it’s like cuddling! Who doesn’t want to be nuzzled by a nice, warm…dead…beheaded…carcass….
uh, sounds so comforting, doesn’t it?
“How could one piece of furniture be so [insert adjective] and free!?”
How could one piece of furniture be so uckin’ fugly and free!? I’d take a REAL haunted porcelain doll to get rid of this thing.
‘Baa, Baa, sheep throne,
are you like a bed?
No sir, No sir,
the cut off my head.
One for my back-rest,
one for each arm,
I’ll come while you sleeping
and do you great harm.’
Wouldn’t his be fun to put in a kid’s (no pun intended) after installing red lights in the eyes? You could turn them on remotely in the middle of the night…..
Grampdaddy you are evil to the core! And I LOVE it!
*Aw, shucks. (blushes)*
When my children are screaming in terror at 3am I’ll be sure to call and thank you.
*note to self – no more sleepovers for the babbay’s at Grampdaddy’s house*
Aww, come on. I told them it was just a joke! You did say they needed a night-light, so don’t blame me.
I want a pressure activated sound box. When you sit down, it will bleet! AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWsome.
Actually a Midi of sheep bleating, connected to a motion and light sensitive switch.
In the light, a random “baaaaa” in response to external stimuli.
In the dark, drop the file two octaves, slow it yo 1/4 speed, and run it through a sub-woofer at around 20-80Hz; with extra-deep red LED eye illumination, naturally.
You could turn them on remotely in the middle of the night
Motion-dectection switch.
Intrigued by this chair, as I sure many were, I Googled “sheep throne” and found this site http://sheepthrone.treethugger.net/ where the sidebar reads “Looks like you have found your way to the I Need the Sheep Throne blog! Congrats! This is a collection of responses I have gathered from posting a fictitious ad on various local Craigs List Free Sections. Enjoy!”
So yes, it was a joke. Someone has made it their hobby.
I hate it when someone pulls the wool over my eyes!
I’m with Sparky’s imaginary girlfriend on this one. Now a three headed broccoli chair I’d be all for. But this might make a great bed for my three dogs. They would each have a fuzzy sheep head to snuggle with!
I don’t see why his girlfriend has a problem with it. Sheep are vegetarians, too.
Perhaps the girlfriend IS a sheep.
Ew(e).
Consider what the other chair would look like . . .
Ewe have to be kidding!!!!!
Everybody sing along
“Sparky had 3 little lambs
He made into a throne
Until his girlfriend said, “Hell no! That can’t be in our home!”
And so she made him throw it out
Which comes as no surprise
And now it scares small children
Grampdaddy gave it glowing eyes!”
Thank ewe! Thank ewe!
*grins sheepishly*
+elebentythree!
Hello my name is Sparky and I’m interested in your lamb throne. At first I was a bit sheepish about asking for it but I guess that there is mutton wrong with asking. I won’t pull the wool over your eyes, I plan to make a lot of money from the throne. But I promise that I won’t fleece any of my customers. And if I do I will probable go on the lamb.
Thank ewe for your consideration…..
B…..! Get thee to a punnery! 😉
Ewe guys just don’t know what ewe are missing. Where else can you get a throne for such a sheep price?
Grampdaddy, congratulations on not sucking and be prepared to be punched today! I am getting the feeling the box is going to be crowded tomorrow.
Band-Aids? Check.
Iodine? Check.
Antibiotics? Check.
Splints/Braces? Check.
Getting punched by Windrose? Priceless!
YSaC – Don’t leave home without it.
Thank you, Dear Windrose. See ya later…
(Holy shee…p, that’s an ugly chair!)
It’s Shearberus, Guardian of the Underworld for Poorly Taxidermied Animals. They preside over a very special slice of Hades, where sheep and other ungulates practice questionable taxidermy on those hunters who dare to bedazzle deer hooves and mount heads holding the rifle that shot them. A favored pose is called “Pooping in the Woods” and involves a thicket of poison ivy, a hornet’s nest, and a replicated fire ant hill.
Dear Sheep Throne Guy:
My life as a piece of furniture is going just fine, thanks. I don’t need the sheep throne adding any surreal competition or distraction. I am content serving as a desk chair. I do not ask for much—only this: please do not send it.
Mary had a little lamb, and she made the basta** into a freaking chair!
The end!
Marry had a little lamb… with mint jelly.
(old joke)
Mmmmm…lamb with minty shells…
Wouldn’t that be minty gels in this case?
Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep,
And can’t tell where to find them;
Leave them alone, And they’ll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them.
Because that’s all they had left,
After their heads a throne did make.
Check out the collection of responses this Sheep Throne is getting!
http://sheepthrone.treethugger.net
Site is being updated about every other day with a new CL market.
Herder? That’s an awfully suspicious name…
Dear Craiglister,
I am writing about the sheep throne. No, I don’t want you to send it to me – there just wouldn’t be enough room in the studio apartment, what with the 6 kids and 3 dogs. But I did want to thank you for putting the picture in the ad. It made me so very happy and brought back many wonderful memories of my Grampaw.
Grampaw was an authentic bare-chested sheep wrestler. He used to go out when no one else was around and wrestle the neighbor’s sheep for practice. He always made sure he was wearing his official sheep-wrestling loincloth and boots. How I loved watching him sneak across the pasture and pursue the sheep of his choice. He was really good, too! There was nothing like seeing the surprised look on the sheep’s face when Grampaw snuck up from behind and grabbed her.
I really miss Grampaw – he passed away from hoof and mouth a while ago. I’m so glad I saw your ad.
Sincerely,
Baaaaasil
Unfortunately, my life as a piece of furniture is already perfect. People don’t sit on me, my upholstery is in great shape, and I smell pretty fresh.
I really wish I had a use for the sheep throne, but I just don’t.
Not relevant to a sheep throne, BUT I was picking up a chair in someone’s trash and had a hard time not also taking the Not-A-Lion picture that was also discarded. Is this a serious sign of YSaCitis? I mean, I’d normally never want a picture of what I know as a ‘tiger’…
*shakes head*
Sounds like a chronic case. Don’t worry; once the scabs fall off, you’ll look almost normal again!
(You may be seized with an overwhelming urge to beat anyone who calls a large striped jungle cat a lion repeatedly over the head with an unbubler, but that’s perfectly normal as well. If you develop a link as massive as Taco’s you may wish to consult a real doctor, as my medical knowledge comes from watching reruns of House. )
(Mmmmm, Hugh Laurie.)
DON’T PICK AT IT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT ITCHES!!!
Now you’re making me feel incomplete over the fact that I have no unblubler to beat someone over the head with.
maybe the not.a.lion picture is still on the roadside… my husband would/will kill me.
Well, it’s clear that you really need a Not.A.Lion-patterened unblubbler.
The trick is finding one without having to take the hefelant foot unbubbler stand (which likely also comes with and almost-gnu ottom).
Perhaps the product of fraternity hazing gone horribly, irrevocably wrong.
A moment of silence for the sheep.
I would do very ba-a-a-ad things to those sheep.
Class, this is a timed test! Please put your avatars at the top of the paper, and write a paragraph explaining the need for YSaC in your daily life. Go!
And, pencils down. Who wants to read their paper first?
My need for YSaC is in generating sufficient mirth to snug the sabretache one more notch, the square the pellise and face the slavering dullards and Sparkies in discipline and good order. No matter how deserving they are to merit honest and effortless reductions of what they claim to be sapience and rationation with only the least bit of literate erudite witActually, YSaC is my completely overt and public “secret society” of fellow persons of thought, of wit, of literate and knowledgeable people also graced with humor and healthy snark. Otherwise, I would be as on marooned withut even Wilson for company. YSaC is one more, a very important, reason to spend the effort to stave off the Long Night one more day, that my “imaginary” peers spread ’round the globe will remain ever so; secure in the their homes and to compute as they would freely desire.
Huh. Whaddya know? Capn and I wrote the same thing. That’s so strange.
*nonchalantly walks away, whistling*
I’ve got a dog, a herding-breed mix who really needs the ego boost this piece of furniture would provide 🙂
Grampdaddy, always a pleasure to give you a Punchity punch punch. Nice to see you are so well prepared!
G’Night, Sparkville!
dear seller-
as you are probably aware I’ve lost my sheep quite some time ago. I just didn’t know where to find them.
I thought that if I left them alone, they’d just come home… waving their little tails behind them. i guess I assumed other people would leave them alone too…
oh to hell with it! I need furniture! I like sheep! I want it!
signed,
Little bo peep
Oh, look! It’s a lion chair! I want a lion!
its amazing and very creative 🙂
An ex of mine oncew judged a Miss Welsh Sheep competition. Of course the one that won was the prettiest, wanted to travel and work for world peace. *true!* perhaps you can understand why he’s an ex?
An ex of mine once judged a Miss Welsh Sheep competition. Of course the one that won was the prettiest, wanted to travel and work for world peace. *true!* perhaps you can understand why he’s an ex?
By the way, the whole thing was purely fictional.
See: http://sheepthrone.treethugger.net/
Thanks, Alex. Angel coreyed that info way ^ earlier in the post.
I would SO LOVE the sheep throne!!! My decorating style is eclectic at best (the term the pros would use) but what I term “FUNKY”. That throne is not only funky, it’s FUNKYDOODLE!!! It’s uber funky! I would love it in my funky living room, my cats would love it I’m sure, my grandsons would love it and any guests I have would love it…and if they didn’t it would be a sure sign that they just do not belong in my humble abode…my haven of funkiness!!!